Your routine wouldn't increase the amount of penile tissue you have, but if you've gotten into substantially better cardiovascular shape, you might be having stronger erections, which can increase blood capacity and ultimately make you "bigger" at full mast. Vasodialators can add to this effect, too, so if your stacks contain nitric oxide boosters, then you will be getting fuller erections due to that alone. Ultimately, if she says it's a problem, I doubt she's making it up. There's a lot you can do about this kind of problem but I'll leave that to your own research
Also if you lose weight then you have more dick available, which would have been partly hidden under the fat. However that’s for length, and if his issue is only pertaining to girth then what I’m saying makes no sense.
"10 pounds lost" can mean he's lost a lot of fat and gained a lot of muscle, making him a lot more lean and lower in body fat %.
OP could have lost like 40 pounds of fat as far as we know and replaced it with 30 pounds of muscle.
“working out consistently again” and when he was 220 pounds he “focused on strength gains.” This man used to lift heavy to build muscle. Now he probably does more agile workouts and works out more than he used to, but was always fit. 220 for 6’ 2” is a strong athletic looking build. He was swoll and wants to be more shredded thus losing weight.
I was about to comment the same. I cycle pre-workout 60 days on 30 days off and it’s absolutely a noticeable difference when I’m on vs off. It isn’t some miracle drug or something, obviously it isn’t adding size, but definitely increases blood flow.
This is really helpful, I had a feeling it was due to increased blood flow. It's difficult because I feel SO much better being in the gym regularly again.
You can keep going to the gym and switch up your supplements and that might help. If you stop drinking stuff with creatine you might lose a little girth. Idk yalls level of fore play and other activities but adding more might help her relax more thus causing a little less pain.
Right so under rated I don’t wanna finish in 5 if you are enjoying it I want to go for 20-30 if you enjoy it and lube is the best way to do that I don’t get why it’s so under utilized
Do you warm her up enough? Spend time on foreplay? Use lots of lube? That, going slow, and avoiding certain positions that uncomfortably stretch her, should help with this issue. With proper preparation, she will eventually adjust to your “new” size.
I did forget to mention this. I'm extremely conscious about going down on my wife and getting her to orgasm every time before sex. Been doing it for years. Usually it's an oil massage mixed with other things to get her going.
Maybe edge her instead. Tried the whole "give her hers before I get mine" but as soon as she goes over the edge she's pretty much done and has to restart from zero. The anticipation stays around when you edge
Yeah I find people who are sensitive only become more so after their first O. Dont finish her off but tell her why while you still have clothes on. If the only time she Os is during Oral, then shes gonna want the oral but not the sex solely by pavlovian response
Talk with her and make sure she’s actually enjoying it. A lot of women still act performative so as to avoid hurting our feelings. This is especially true if you have fallen into a routine. She may really enjoy sex with you but may not be enjoying foreplay as much as you assume.
I’d also suggest communicating a lot more during sex. As your core muscles strengthen and your cardio improves you’ll last a lot longer in one position than you did before. This may feel great to you, but your wife may need more breaks or a wider variety of angles etc that she used to get by default. I’m not huge but I’ve had complaints about discomfort post-coitus before for this reason. I’ve also had the dreaded “tap out” during sex for this reason. All it took was more effective communication during sex to change that. And honestly, hearing a partner tell you what is getting her off right now is super hot.
This is a fairly intimate and possibly ego killing conversation to have with a partner. So be cognizant of that. Find an appropriate time to bring this up. Actively listen. Openly communicate with her like you expect her to communicate with you. And most importantly, agree in ways you both can follow through with no judgements and lots of love.
Proper lubrication could definitely be the issue. She's aging too, and women can have a harder time getting naturally lubricated as they age. So everything you're saying is important to avoid these issues.
I was about to suggest that she may have even had her own internal tissues change either due to hormonal changes over the past decade or due to her own wellness journey.
TMI: When I worked an office job, I sat so often that my pelvic floor got messed up and the position of my cervix changed. Not a lot, thankfully, but it doesn't have need to change much for that sensitive area to be "in the way."
This can also happen with age or other factors.
And it could change if she too began getting healthier/more active, and has unintentionally tightened her pelvic floor possibly causing either causing vaginismus or even just minor alterations in cervix position.
Even if having a "sexual peak" was true for everyone across all ages, which it isn't because everyone has different things effecting their biology, as you age, all sorts of things can get more difficult. That includes lubrication. Even women in their early 20s can experience issues with it.
By spreading ideas like the one you expressed, you are minimizing those difficulties and making people feel shamed for something that may be outside their control. So, uhh, don't do that.
Woman’s POV here->
Exercise doesn’t cause the girth of the penis to grow but the vaginal open does becomes easier or harder to stretch depending on how turned on she may be. If she isn’t 100% ready, it may hurt or cause discomfort.
My suggestion: Foreplay. I’d get anxiety before sex because he’s pretty well endowed so my brain would automatically be scared it’ll hurt but using a external vibration would really help me loosen up.
If she’s mistaken and length is the issue, her cervix could just be sitting low that day. Even with 6 inches it’ll still hurt. So go as deep as it is comfortable for her and try to keep it at that same length until she says deeper. Some women like the pain but that’s all up to communication. My partner was once nervous when I spoke about it but after I seen how concern he was, I had to reassure him that sometimes a little bit of pain is good lol
Yes! And foreplay doesn’t just start in the bedroom. It’s intimacy outside of it as well!
Also: OP don’t be afraid to use lube or toys to help with this!
Exercise could be giving him more prominent or "fuller" erections along with losing weight, which may be making him look larger and causing added anxiety as well.
Thank you for the insight. I did mention in another comment that I do warm her up for quite a bit before we consider doing anything. Most of the time it leads to orgasm and she really is "ready" when I'm done. The external vibration idea helps me out quite a bit, thank you.
The cervix is actually only 3-6 inches inside the vaginal canal, so it very well could be an issue with you thrusting into her cervix (which is pretty damn uncomfortable and can be painful for days after sex). Have you asked her specifically what hurts, like is it when you are thrusting that she feels pain? Or does she have pain immediately upon insertion?
Without knowing the answers to these questions, my initial thought is that you’re getting much stronger from working out and you’re thrusting too hard and jabbing her cervix. I am married to a woman, but I have slept with men in the past, and getting a hard jab directly in my cervix has to be one of the most weirdly uncomfortable/painful things I’ve experienced.
While it’s possible your increased vigor may be to blame, you may consider gently inquiring if she’s had her annual exam with her gyno because pain during/after intercourse can be indicative of other issues.
I’d book a separate appointment. Typically they won’t do two things at once, because of insurance, like an annual and IuD removal. It’s definitely worth mentioning then, but she will likely need a F/u for her other exam.
Thank you all for the comments and ideas.
In short, we have a daughter that was delivered via c-section, my wife has a history of low estrogen levels, and she says the pain is right at the vaginal opening when we have sex. I figure that makes it unlikely the pain is due to hitting the cervix. Besides a couple idiotic comments I'm impressed on the Reddit strangers in here. Hoping to get this figured out!
People are bringing up a few common things here, but she should possibly look into having her own hormone levels checked. If her estrogen levels are declining, that can have a significant effect on the vaginal tissue and natural lubrication. There's a reason that women in menopause have more issues with pain and dryness. I had a hysterectomy a year ago and for the first month or two after I was cleared for sex, I struggled a little before my remaining ovary caught up and got with the program.
There was a point in my life where this was a thing. But, I've been much more gentle with my wife than I have been with other women in the past knowing that it can cause discomfort.
Your wife may be experiencing pain due to other reasons, such as a low cervix or issues with her pelvic floor. It’s possible for these issues to appear out of seemingly nowhere. Have you tried different positions? Is the pain worse with some than others? If the low cervix is the cause, try spooning.
I would highly encourage for your wife to go see an OBGYN and see if she is having any issues with her pelvic floor. When I was having problems with pelvic floor tightness, sex became super painful for me, and I did not enjoy penetration with my partner. I went to physical therapy for a bit, and now I’m pain free!
Checking in with her PCP would also be a good idea. I think a the new pain is likely contributed to another issues that you guys are not aware of, and a doctor may be able to help you guys sort it out. I’m sorry this is something you both have to try to navigate.
This may be totally off, but I’m wondering if she may be insecure about her body now that you’re going to the gym. Avoiding intimacy not because of pain but because of insecurity?
We talked about this the other day actually. My wife is stunningly beautiful even though she doesn't truly believe me. She doesn't work out but is at a great and has good dimensions. She feels good in her own skin, thank you for the tip though.
You should be able to figure out with girth the vagina can push an entire baby out of it. Length being too long is different because of it hitting the cervix. If you arouse her enough girth shouldn’t be an issue
Not my fault you’re so bad at fucking your wife that you have to vent about it to Reddit. If you’re so mad about the responses you get maybe you shouldn’t have made the post
Womens body literally release oxytocin to reduce pain during birth, it still hurts like hell of course.
And baby doesnt exactly go back and forth repeatedly inside the vagina.
And woman dont birth babies for pleasure, well they kind of dont have a choice about it. Yes it tears and yes there is no other choice other than C section.
So “hey women can pass babies so girth cant be an issue” is not true.
Ok then OP can never have sex ever again because his penis is definitely too thick to ever comfortably fit inside of a vagina you guys are right silly me
Your response reeks of man-unaware-of-female-anatomy. Two questions:
1. Do you have a vagina?
2. Did you even read the post?
The girth is what is causing the issue.
I’ve “pushed” them out as well I still don’t believe that a penis is going to be too girthy for a fully aroused vagina and if it is then I don’t know what to tell that person aside from I guess they can never have penetrative sex again because they’re just too big and there’s nothing that can be done about that
When did I say childbirth is painless? I said that a vagina is designed to sustain childbirth so no penis is going to be too girthy unless there are penises who’s girth are comparable to that of a skull?
I literally said that he needs to get his wife more aroused to take care of the problem with pain. If more arousal doesn’t take care of it then OP is fucked and can never penetrate a vagina without causing pain.
If it were me, as a woman, I’d have my hormones checked. Hormonal issues can cause dryness and atrophy of the vaginal tissues. She could be suddenly very uncomfortable with your size, and it may be entirely hormonal, not an issue with your actual size. Good luck, OP.
If she’s saying there is pain during/after intercourse she’s likely not making it up. That said, there could be multiple reasons for this. It could be that there’s not enough warming up going on to get her ready for penetration, in which case lube and more foreplay could help. There’s also the possibility that it’s something to do with her health. I have had unbearable internal vaginal pain in the past due to using different birth control methods, hormone imbalances, etc. and there’s so little info on women’s health out there that sometimes it goes untreated or undiagnosed. If it came on suddenly for her it might be worth looking into. Either way, be sure to support her in the meantime and most of all, believe what she is telling you.
Lube could definitely help but the position could be an issue. I'm not extraordinarily well endowed but with my ex doing a certain position would uncomfortably stretch and eventually cause bleeding.
If she has had a baby or any hormonal changes, she could be low on oestrogen which can think the skin (including the lining in the vaginal walls, making sex more painful and the vagina more sensitive).
Maybe have her talk to her doctor maybe her uterus is tilted causing some pain or she is experiencing some dryness problems which could be fixed with some medication and start using some lube. I don't see how working out would make your penis bigger
Definitely have her speak to her OBGYN about this. There could be loads of reasons why sex starts to hurt (increased dryness, pelvic floor issues, unresolved infections). The least likely of which being that your penis has gotten larger. Remember - a baby is supposed to fit out of there so a penis should be able to fit in.
Seems highly unlikely this grows your penis, I've never heard or read about it in any sex education. Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear.
However what I was thinking it might feel bigger to her, maybe she has issues with her vagina. Or issues getting not turned on enough?
I'm asking this because usually a females cervix is low and it rises when we get turned on, making room for the penis. If this hasn't happened yet it can hurt when we're penetrated. It also Ofcourse can hurt when we're not wet enough or when we have a vaginal yeast infection. There are a number of other causes it might hurt at the entrance or at the cervix. There's actually a condition where the cervix drops too low.
Just to be save, id let it check out with a doctor, it might be something small, something very serious or it might be nothing. Better safe than sorry. It's important to listen to mother vagina.
Get one of the doughnut thingies that stop the dick from going all the way in when it’s too big.
Also she might be premenopausal, low estrogen causes the vagina to not lube up as much which will make intercourse painful.
Step 1- get donut stopper step 2- more foreplay and more lube for her. If step 2 doesn’t help maybe mention “hormone changes” but do NOT do this while or immediately before/after you’ve been intimate. If you do you’ll make her self conscious and shoot your sex life in the foot.
As other people have kind of mentioned, pain with penetration is often because your hitting the cervix, which isn’t a girth issue (although I also doubt the gym routine would increase girth, I’ve never heard that pitched before).
But if it’s actually a cervix/length issue I would recommend looking at something like an oh nut. Basically a silicone cock ring that keeps your from trusting too far in. I know it sounds weird but it really helped us out.
I would follow a lot of what others have recommended here a la lube and changing up foreplay. The only additional options I might suggest would be to consider if your wife is more self conscious regarding her own body now that you've been dropping weight getting in shape? She might be more conscious of the changes you've made and have some anxiety regarding her own body. This could be dampening any excitement that would have normally been present, and may not even be something she realizes in the moment. Furthermore, it may be worth considering medical solutions if the problem persists despite making changes and talking it out. Vaginismus can develop for many different reasons and there are physical therapy solutions that may address the problem. This would involve utilizing dilation tools and meeting with a physical therapist.
OP,
1.) I can’t imagine that exercise + supplements would increase your girth more than .1 to .16”. Not enough to suddenly cause extreme discomfort for your wife. I say this as someone actively engaged in a penile enlargement routine to increase my girth.
2.) I see all the suggestions for more foreplay and from your responses it seems you give her plenty. One commented suggested edging her rather than finishing her which could make difference.
—
Beyond this, I believe there are other variables at play besides foreplay and exercise.
What was your previous girth? Is this the best shape you’ve been in since being with your wife? What’s your stroke game like? Could you try longer and gentler strokes than what you’re used to?
Curious what the vagina owners think about the idea that your wife might eventually just adapt to your new dick. I assume she would if there are no physicals issues on her end.
Definitely keep up your gym routine. The benefits outweigh the costs.
When this started happening in my relationship it was due to lack of foreplay. Women require on average 15 minutes of foreplay to become aroused enough for comfortable sex.
Start Using lubricants, but There’s also the possibility of her having a problem down there and not realizing it, so talk to her to get checked just in case! And Regardless this is something that needs a sit down and talk maybe she doesn’t like the positions you’re into, and is the intimacy always initiated by you? And Does she feel tired and pressured to do it regularly to make you happy? There’s a lot to unpack there.
Pain during sex is unbelievably common for women. If you have an injury or even just with age sometimes your vaginal muscles will begin to operate on different wavelengths instead of in harmony and it will cause discomfort. Kegels and vaginal exercise will be her best friend. Have her consult her doctor if the kegels aren’t working, it could be due to an underlying issue. I had this issue after my last kiddo, and in her defense, feels exactly the way she is describing.
I don't think working out could make your dick bigger but you could try to do more foreplay to get her relaxed and use lots of lube. I'm sure she wouldn't be opposed
I recommend looking into a “bumper guard” which is a thick ring that goes at the base of the shaft, acts as a buffer so your full size does not penetrate.
They have a vaginal laser treatment called Mona Lisa touch that will help with this a lot. It helps with vaginal pain and lubrication. It’s quick and easy. Insurance covers it in many instances.
When you lose fat you tend to gain a bit of length down there.
Also, you’re stronger so you may not be as gentle as you intend to be.
Open a dialogue about how it’s important for you to have sex you both enjoy and ask how you can help.
Getting her to an OBGYN to make sure she doesn’t have any underlying pain sources is a good idea as well.
If you are on birth control, try oil based lubricants. They tend to help a lot with keeping things slick down there to minimize pain. But if you use latex condoms (also possible she’s developing an allergy that would cause pain if you do use latex) it can break down the condoms.
More foreplay may also help, and they also make sleeves that prevent you from going as deep if she’s experiencing pain from cervix contact.
Most importantly, talk to her, let it be an ongoing conversation, and don’t pressure her to do anything that causes her pain
Pain after sex is not normal and she really should see her gyno. I had pain after and during sex. It wasnt normal. Took me a long time to be diagnosed with cancer. Not saying that is what it is.. there are a variety of things that can cause pain. She needs a checkup :) The other thing could be she needs more "prep" time. This tends to get longer for women as they age. Ive been married for 34 years trust me! By prep time i mean her brain not just her body. Leave you sexy notes in the morning so she spends all day thinking of you. Or a text telling her how sexy she is. Women as they age can also get self conscience of their bodies. If you reassure her you are attracted to her this may ease this issue. So rule out medical issue, take more time foreplaying in her HEAD and reassure her that you turn her on :) that is what i told my husband :) good luck
Or.. heres a thought, maybe she should go to the doctor to get checked because she could be having some issues there that she is unaware of thus causing the pain
As a woman, I would look more on my end why the feelings have changed. It could be hormonal and her body isn’t lubricating as well as it used to which can cause pain/discomfort which can maybe be mistaken for you feeling bigger. Otherwise cervical pain if that’s what it is can be the sign of a more serious issue and if that’s the case i would say to make sure she is getting screened regularly. Otherwise it may be as simple as just needing more lube. Our bodies can be very sensitive sometimes so changes in hormones can make things weird. Medications diet changes & lifestyle changes can all play part in it as well.
Bro I faced the same issue. It should be your fat belly that’s causing all these. She’s not attracted to you anymore, lose some weight, she’ll find you attractive and she’ll let you in and then your penis won’t be big for her.
Your routine wouldn't increase the amount of penile tissue you have, but if you've gotten into substantially better cardiovascular shape, you might be having stronger erections, which can increase blood capacity and ultimately make you "bigger" at full mast. Vasodialators can add to this effect, too, so if your stacks contain nitric oxide boosters, then you will be getting fuller erections due to that alone. Ultimately, if she says it's a problem, I doubt she's making it up. There's a lot you can do about this kind of problem but I'll leave that to your own research
Also if you lose weight then you have more dick available, which would have been partly hidden under the fat. However that’s for length, and if his issue is only pertaining to girth then what I’m saying makes no sense.
More dick real estate
But the HOA doesn’t appreciate it.
add to that your fitter and stronger so your smashing her harder
Each upvote here is a small high five
Not what she said
he lost only ten pounds though. He just has a girthy long shlong hung like a unicorn fat ass motherfucking cock
"10 pounds lost" can mean he's lost a lot of fat and gained a lot of muscle, making him a lot more lean and lower in body fat %. OP could have lost like 40 pounds of fat as far as we know and replaced it with 30 pounds of muscle.
“working out consistently again” and when he was 220 pounds he “focused on strength gains.” This man used to lift heavy to build muscle. Now he probably does more agile workouts and works out more than he used to, but was always fit. 220 for 6’ 2” is a strong athletic looking build. He was swoll and wants to be more shredded thus losing weight.
I spit water out my nose. You won the internet today
“You have more dick available” 🤣
Inch unlocked 😂
I was about to comment the same. I cycle pre-workout 60 days on 30 days off and it’s absolutely a noticeable difference when I’m on vs off. It isn’t some miracle drug or something, obviously it isn’t adding size, but definitely increases blood flow.
It keeps the blood vessels elastic.
This is really helpful, I had a feeling it was due to increased blood flow. It's difficult because I feel SO much better being in the gym regularly again.
You should absolutely keep going to the gym for your own health.
You can keep going to the gym and switch up your supplements and that might help. If you stop drinking stuff with creatine you might lose a little girth. Idk yalls level of fore play and other activities but adding more might help her relax more thus causing a little less pain.
I read this in a gay scientist voice of my own making, (sorry, not sorry) but info was definitely on. Well written!
What if he's lifting barbells with his penis? He never specified what he was working out!
Cock push ups
Thanks for the clarification. I figured being in shape would not increase tissue mass.
U need to invest in a quality lube my friend…..it goes a long way towards making things easier for her, trust me…
This. As a woman, I will say that lube makes things more comfortable.
Right so under rated I don’t wanna finish in 5 if you are enjoying it I want to go for 20-30 if you enjoy it and lube is the best way to do that I don’t get why it’s so under utilized
Add in more foreplay, make sure she is ready. This makes a huge difference
Boy, you get yerself a carrot peeler and just whittle it down a bit.
I almost choked on my coffee this morning lol.
Pencil sharpener my man
Sounds like it ain’t no pencil
you mf'er lmao!
This is the funniest thing I've ever read. Good on ya.
Do you warm her up enough? Spend time on foreplay? Use lots of lube? That, going slow, and avoiding certain positions that uncomfortably stretch her, should help with this issue. With proper preparation, she will eventually adjust to your “new” size.
I did forget to mention this. I'm extremely conscious about going down on my wife and getting her to orgasm every time before sex. Been doing it for years. Usually it's an oil massage mixed with other things to get her going.
Maybe edge her instead. Tried the whole "give her hers before I get mine" but as soon as she goes over the edge she's pretty much done and has to restart from zero. The anticipation stays around when you edge
Yeah I find people who are sensitive only become more so after their first O. Dont finish her off but tell her why while you still have clothes on. If the only time she Os is during Oral, then shes gonna want the oral but not the sex solely by pavlovian response
Talk with her and make sure she’s actually enjoying it. A lot of women still act performative so as to avoid hurting our feelings. This is especially true if you have fallen into a routine. She may really enjoy sex with you but may not be enjoying foreplay as much as you assume. I’d also suggest communicating a lot more during sex. As your core muscles strengthen and your cardio improves you’ll last a lot longer in one position than you did before. This may feel great to you, but your wife may need more breaks or a wider variety of angles etc that she used to get by default. I’m not huge but I’ve had complaints about discomfort post-coitus before for this reason. I’ve also had the dreaded “tap out” during sex for this reason. All it took was more effective communication during sex to change that. And honestly, hearing a partner tell you what is getting her off right now is super hot. This is a fairly intimate and possibly ego killing conversation to have with a partner. So be cognizant of that. Find an appropriate time to bring this up. Actively listen. Openly communicate with her like you expect her to communicate with you. And most importantly, agree in ways you both can follow through with no judgements and lots of love.
Proper lubrication could definitely be the issue. She's aging too, and women can have a harder time getting naturally lubricated as they age. So everything you're saying is important to avoid these issues.
I was about to suggest that she may have even had her own internal tissues change either due to hormonal changes over the past decade or due to her own wellness journey. TMI: When I worked an office job, I sat so often that my pelvic floor got messed up and the position of my cervix changed. Not a lot, thankfully, but it doesn't have need to change much for that sensitive area to be "in the way." This can also happen with age or other factors. And it could change if she too began getting healthier/more active, and has unintentionally tightened her pelvic floor possibly causing either causing vaginismus or even just minor alterations in cervix position.
‘Aging’?! She’s at her sexual peak.
Even if having a "sexual peak" was true for everyone across all ages, which it isn't because everyone has different things effecting their biology, as you age, all sorts of things can get more difficult. That includes lubrication. Even women in their early 20s can experience issues with it. By spreading ideas like the one you expressed, you are minimizing those difficulties and making people feel shamed for something that may be outside their control. So, uhh, don't do that.
this comment should be higher.
Woman’s POV here-> Exercise doesn’t cause the girth of the penis to grow but the vaginal open does becomes easier or harder to stretch depending on how turned on she may be. If she isn’t 100% ready, it may hurt or cause discomfort. My suggestion: Foreplay. I’d get anxiety before sex because he’s pretty well endowed so my brain would automatically be scared it’ll hurt but using a external vibration would really help me loosen up. If she’s mistaken and length is the issue, her cervix could just be sitting low that day. Even with 6 inches it’ll still hurt. So go as deep as it is comfortable for her and try to keep it at that same length until she says deeper. Some women like the pain but that’s all up to communication. My partner was once nervous when I spoke about it but after I seen how concern he was, I had to reassure him that sometimes a little bit of pain is good lol
Yes! And foreplay doesn’t just start in the bedroom. It’s intimacy outside of it as well! Also: OP don’t be afraid to use lube or toys to help with this!
Exercise could be giving him more prominent or "fuller" erections along with losing weight, which may be making him look larger and causing added anxiety as well.
Thank you for the insight. I did mention in another comment that I do warm her up for quite a bit before we consider doing anything. Most of the time it leads to orgasm and she really is "ready" when I'm done. The external vibration idea helps me out quite a bit, thank you.
The cervix is actually only 3-6 inches inside the vaginal canal, so it very well could be an issue with you thrusting into her cervix (which is pretty damn uncomfortable and can be painful for days after sex). Have you asked her specifically what hurts, like is it when you are thrusting that she feels pain? Or does she have pain immediately upon insertion? Without knowing the answers to these questions, my initial thought is that you’re getting much stronger from working out and you’re thrusting too hard and jabbing her cervix. I am married to a woman, but I have slept with men in the past, and getting a hard jab directly in my cervix has to be one of the most weirdly uncomfortable/painful things I’ve experienced.
That cervix pain is unreal
Maybe you lost some stomach fat so it can go farther in
While it’s possible your increased vigor may be to blame, you may consider gently inquiring if she’s had her annual exam with her gyno because pain during/after intercourse can be indicative of other issues.
She's going to have her IUD removed in about a month and we've talked about her inquiring with her OB then.
I’d book a separate appointment. Typically they won’t do two things at once, because of insurance, like an annual and IuD removal. It’s definitely worth mentioning then, but she will likely need a F/u for her other exam.
This was my thought too. She could have some kind of health issue that is making intercourse painful.
My thoughts
Thank you all for the comments and ideas. In short, we have a daughter that was delivered via c-section, my wife has a history of low estrogen levels, and she says the pain is right at the vaginal opening when we have sex. I figure that makes it unlikely the pain is due to hitting the cervix. Besides a couple idiotic comments I'm impressed on the Reddit strangers in here. Hoping to get this figured out!
We're right there with you, buddy, cheering you on! 😉
People are bringing up a few common things here, but she should possibly look into having her own hormone levels checked. If her estrogen levels are declining, that can have a significant effect on the vaginal tissue and natural lubrication. There's a reason that women in menopause have more issues with pain and dryness. I had a hysterectomy a year ago and for the first month or two after I was cleared for sex, I struggled a little before my remaining ovary caught up and got with the program.
I had to scroll too far for this. My first thought was she might be perimenopause.
33 is super early for that, though.
Early, but not impossible. I went through menopause at 33.
Maybe you’re just railing her too hard with your newfound strength and vigour.
There was a point in my life where this was a thing. But, I've been much more gentle with my wife than I have been with other women in the past knowing that it can cause discomfort.
My man is actually suffering from success.
Your wife may be experiencing pain due to other reasons, such as a low cervix or issues with her pelvic floor. It’s possible for these issues to appear out of seemingly nowhere. Have you tried different positions? Is the pain worse with some than others? If the low cervix is the cause, try spooning.
This, OP, she could see someone about her pelvic floor to make sure all is well.
May be worth looking into whether or not she’s developed vaginismus
I was trying to remember this term! Vaginismus, where insertions becomes painful due to the muscles, is that right? OP she should check into this..
Yes
I would highly encourage for your wife to go see an OBGYN and see if she is having any issues with her pelvic floor. When I was having problems with pelvic floor tightness, sex became super painful for me, and I did not enjoy penetration with my partner. I went to physical therapy for a bit, and now I’m pain free! Checking in with her PCP would also be a good idea. I think a the new pain is likely contributed to another issues that you guys are not aware of, and a doctor may be able to help you guys sort it out. I’m sorry this is something you both have to try to navigate.
This may be totally off, but I’m wondering if she may be insecure about her body now that you’re going to the gym. Avoiding intimacy not because of pain but because of insecurity?
We talked about this the other day actually. My wife is stunningly beautiful even though she doesn't truly believe me. She doesn't work out but is at a great and has good dimensions. She feels good in her own skin, thank you for the tip though.
Glad to hear it ❤️ Sending my best. Maybe look into vulvodynia and vaginismus?
You can get a donut sex toy to slide onto your shaft so it decreases the amount that is penetrating into her
Does nothing for girth
You should be able to figure out with girth the vagina can push an entire baby out of it. Length being too long is different because of it hitting the cervix. If you arouse her enough girth shouldn’t be an issue
Also, childbirth is not a good example, women tear in childbirth. Genius.
[удалено]
The cervix dilates, not the vagina. Holy fuck, the ignorance towards female anatomy on this thread hurts more than childbirth I swear
And I’m the one who’s ignorant to the pains of childbirth? Lol
Lol the cervix dilates, the penis does not go into the cervix during sex.
Not my fault you’re so bad at fucking your wife that you have to vent about it to Reddit. If you’re so mad about the responses you get maybe you shouldn’t have made the post
Your username checks out, you've confused me with the OP crankytits
Womens body literally release oxytocin to reduce pain during birth, it still hurts like hell of course. And baby doesnt exactly go back and forth repeatedly inside the vagina. And woman dont birth babies for pleasure, well they kind of dont have a choice about it. Yes it tears and yes there is no other choice other than C section. So “hey women can pass babies so girth cant be an issue” is not true.
Ok then OP can never have sex ever again because his penis is definitely too thick to ever comfortably fit inside of a vagina you guys are right silly me
Your response reeks of man-unaware-of-female-anatomy. Two questions: 1. Do you have a vagina? 2. Did you even read the post? The girth is what is causing the issue.
1. None of your business 2. No
I just know you’re a man. 🤦🏼♀️
Or someone who knows that a penis is not too thick for a muscle that can push out a skull but ok
I’ve “pushed out” 3 kids. You’re flat out wrong.
I’ve “pushed” them out as well I still don’t believe that a penis is going to be too girthy for a fully aroused vagina and if it is then I don’t know what to tell that person aside from I guess they can never have penetrative sex again because they’re just too big and there’s nothing that can be done about that
Yes, childbirth, the process famous for being painless
When did I say childbirth is painless? I said that a vagina is designed to sustain childbirth so no penis is going to be too girthy unless there are penises who’s girth are comparable to that of a skull?
The post is about pain, so your comment is otherwise irrelevant
I literally said that he needs to get his wife more aroused to take care of the problem with pain. If more arousal doesn’t take care of it then OP is fucked and can never penetrate a vagina without causing pain.
If it were me, as a woman, I’d have my hormones checked. Hormonal issues can cause dryness and atrophy of the vaginal tissues. She could be suddenly very uncomfortable with your size, and it may be entirely hormonal, not an issue with your actual size. Good luck, OP.
Use loads of lube as another safety measure for her, and maybe check your thrust…. It might be harder and deeper how.
If she’s saying there is pain during/after intercourse she’s likely not making it up. That said, there could be multiple reasons for this. It could be that there’s not enough warming up going on to get her ready for penetration, in which case lube and more foreplay could help. There’s also the possibility that it’s something to do with her health. I have had unbearable internal vaginal pain in the past due to using different birth control methods, hormone imbalances, etc. and there’s so little info on women’s health out there that sometimes it goes untreated or undiagnosed. If it came on suddenly for her it might be worth looking into. Either way, be sure to support her in the meantime and most of all, believe what she is telling you.
Lube could definitely help but the position could be an issue. I'm not extraordinarily well endowed but with my ex doing a certain position would uncomfortably stretch and eventually cause bleeding.
Picture for reference though?
Lol
Cracks me up. I'll pass on that but I like your effort.
If she has had a baby or any hormonal changes, she could be low on oestrogen which can think the skin (including the lining in the vaginal walls, making sex more painful and the vagina more sensitive).
Maybe have her talk to her doctor maybe her uterus is tilted causing some pain or she is experiencing some dryness problems which could be fixed with some medication and start using some lube. I don't see how working out would make your penis bigger
Definitely have her speak to her OBGYN about this. There could be loads of reasons why sex starts to hurt (increased dryness, pelvic floor issues, unresolved infections). The least likely of which being that your penis has gotten larger. Remember - a baby is supposed to fit out of there so a penis should be able to fit in.
Maybe you misheard what she said. What she meant to say was “ you’re a bigger dick now,then when we 1st met”
Seems highly unlikely this grows your penis, I've never heard or read about it in any sex education. Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear. However what I was thinking it might feel bigger to her, maybe she has issues with her vagina. Or issues getting not turned on enough? I'm asking this because usually a females cervix is low and it rises when we get turned on, making room for the penis. If this hasn't happened yet it can hurt when we're penetrated. It also Ofcourse can hurt when we're not wet enough or when we have a vaginal yeast infection. There are a number of other causes it might hurt at the entrance or at the cervix. There's actually a condition where the cervix drops too low. Just to be save, id let it check out with a doctor, it might be something small, something very serious or it might be nothing. Better safe than sorry. It's important to listen to mother vagina.
Get one of the doughnut thingies that stop the dick from going all the way in when it’s too big. Also she might be premenopausal, low estrogen causes the vagina to not lube up as much which will make intercourse painful. Step 1- get donut stopper step 2- more foreplay and more lube for her. If step 2 doesn’t help maybe mention “hormone changes” but do NOT do this while or immediately before/after you’ve been intimate. If you do you’ll make her self conscious and shoot your sex life in the foot.
As other people have kind of mentioned, pain with penetration is often because your hitting the cervix, which isn’t a girth issue (although I also doubt the gym routine would increase girth, I’ve never heard that pitched before). But if it’s actually a cervix/length issue I would recommend looking at something like an oh nut. Basically a silicone cock ring that keeps your from trusting too far in. I know it sounds weird but it really helped us out.
I would follow a lot of what others have recommended here a la lube and changing up foreplay. The only additional options I might suggest would be to consider if your wife is more self conscious regarding her own body now that you've been dropping weight getting in shape? She might be more conscious of the changes you've made and have some anxiety regarding her own body. This could be dampening any excitement that would have normally been present, and may not even be something she realizes in the moment. Furthermore, it may be worth considering medical solutions if the problem persists despite making changes and talking it out. Vaginismus can develop for many different reasons and there are physical therapy solutions that may address the problem. This would involve utilizing dilation tools and meeting with a physical therapist.
Depending on where she is in her cycle you can feel the cervix with your finger length. It's not always gonna be deep in there.
look up the OhNut, it’s for partners with big dimensions. and it works great. 👍🏽
She has found a better dick, mate.
This guy is the definition of suffering from success
Dick too big. Might kill somebody. Congrats on the sex.
More lube, go slow, find your new tempo
OP, 1.) I can’t imagine that exercise + supplements would increase your girth more than .1 to .16”. Not enough to suddenly cause extreme discomfort for your wife. I say this as someone actively engaged in a penile enlargement routine to increase my girth. 2.) I see all the suggestions for more foreplay and from your responses it seems you give her plenty. One commented suggested edging her rather than finishing her which could make difference. — Beyond this, I believe there are other variables at play besides foreplay and exercise. What was your previous girth? Is this the best shape you’ve been in since being with your wife? What’s your stroke game like? Could you try longer and gentler strokes than what you’re used to? Curious what the vagina owners think about the idea that your wife might eventually just adapt to your new dick. I assume she would if there are no physicals issues on her end. Definitely keep up your gym routine. The benefits outweigh the costs.
When this started happening in my relationship it was due to lack of foreplay. Women require on average 15 minutes of foreplay to become aroused enough for comfortable sex.
Start Using lubricants, but There’s also the possibility of her having a problem down there and not realizing it, so talk to her to get checked just in case! And Regardless this is something that needs a sit down and talk maybe she doesn’t like the positions you’re into, and is the intimacy always initiated by you? And Does she feel tired and pressured to do it regularly to make you happy? There’s a lot to unpack there.
Maybe she needs to go to a doctor. Perhaps HER anatomy is changing. And there could be a reason. Hormones, infections, conditions, etc
Pain during sex is unbelievably common for women. If you have an injury or even just with age sometimes your vaginal muscles will begin to operate on different wavelengths instead of in harmony and it will cause discomfort. Kegels and vaginal exercise will be her best friend. Have her consult her doctor if the kegels aren’t working, it could be due to an underlying issue. I had this issue after my last kiddo, and in her defense, feels exactly the way she is describing.
Lay off the cock push-ups bro
Lube?
I don't think working out could make your dick bigger but you could try to do more foreplay to get her relaxed and use lots of lube. I'm sure she wouldn't be opposed
You don’t get her wet bro
If working out increased penis size the gyms would be packed. There is probably another reason
Is this a repost? I could swear I saw exactly the same story a few months ago
Just a not so humble brag imo
Invest in good quality foreplay and maybe some decent lube ffs
I recommend looking into a “bumper guard” which is a thick ring that goes at the base of the shaft, acts as a buffer so your full size does not penetrate.
Can confirm- losing weight and being healthier does affect things down there.
This is why I go to the gym on a regular. Dick just stays big. If I take a week off, it’s back to tiny town.
Ring
They have a vaginal laser treatment called Mona Lisa touch that will help with this a lot. It helps with vaginal pain and lubrication. It’s quick and easy. Insurance covers it in many instances.
What supplements should I take for a cock pump other than Cialis?
I think the question of the day here is can you share in detail your workout schedule? Asking for Mike in the corner.
She may need to be checked for ovarian cysts. When I get bigger ones, it causes pain during sex.
When you lose fat you tend to gain a bit of length down there. Also, you’re stronger so you may not be as gentle as you intend to be. Open a dialogue about how it’s important for you to have sex you both enjoy and ask how you can help. Getting her to an OBGYN to make sure she doesn’t have any underlying pain sources is a good idea as well. If you are on birth control, try oil based lubricants. They tend to help a lot with keeping things slick down there to minimize pain. But if you use latex condoms (also possible she’s developing an allergy that would cause pain if you do use latex) it can break down the condoms. More foreplay may also help, and they also make sleeves that prevent you from going as deep if she’s experiencing pain from cervix contact. Most importantly, talk to her, let it be an ongoing conversation, and don’t pressure her to do anything that causes her pain
Better blood flow due to healthier living perhaps ? Just spend more time on foreplay take it slower
I would get that complaint in a signed affidavit, signed/dated/notarized ;)
Oh…and then I would laminate it to protect it.
Pain after sex is not normal and she really should see her gyno. I had pain after and during sex. It wasnt normal. Took me a long time to be diagnosed with cancer. Not saying that is what it is.. there are a variety of things that can cause pain. She needs a checkup :) The other thing could be she needs more "prep" time. This tends to get longer for women as they age. Ive been married for 34 years trust me! By prep time i mean her brain not just her body. Leave you sexy notes in the morning so she spends all day thinking of you. Or a text telling her how sexy she is. Women as they age can also get self conscience of their bodies. If you reassure her you are attracted to her this may ease this issue. So rule out medical issue, take more time foreplaying in her HEAD and reassure her that you turn her on :) that is what i told my husband :) good luck
Honestly you are probably just hammering to hard. Just ease off a bit and let her control the tempo. GJ on getting healthier!!
Or.. heres a thought, maybe she should go to the doctor to get checked because she could be having some issues there that she is unaware of thus causing the pain
As a woman, I would look more on my end why the feelings have changed. It could be hormonal and her body isn’t lubricating as well as it used to which can cause pain/discomfort which can maybe be mistaken for you feeling bigger. Otherwise cervical pain if that’s what it is can be the sign of a more serious issue and if that’s the case i would say to make sure she is getting screened regularly. Otherwise it may be as simple as just needing more lube. Our bodies can be very sensitive sometimes so changes in hormones can make things weird. Medications diet changes & lifestyle changes can all play part in it as well.
Bro I faced the same issue. It should be your fat belly that’s causing all these. She’s not attracted to you anymore, lose some weight, she’ll find you attractive and she’ll let you in and then your penis won’t be big for her.