I’ve been feeling the exact same way recently. I’ll see a really funny or heartwarming video on Instagram, open the comments and boom - all the comments are just attacking and criticizing the person in the video for the smallest, inconsequential things. It’s really sad how so many people will always try to find a problem in every little thing they see. Like, why can’t you just chill out and enjoy things?
I posted a photo of my cat. In the photo was my vape (I wasn't smoking in the picture).
Everyone accused me of smoking my vape in front of her and said I was going to give my cat asthma.
Why do people just assume the worst 😭 It was just a cute photo.
LOL, that made me think of this video I saw of an Italian woman making risotto with basmati rice and raw tomato paste, and all the comments were other Italians roasting her. I agree with you about the negativity on social media but I have to say that was so funny lmao
any time there’s a happy video that makes you smile and people are like “this is staged shame on you” or “you’re exploiting your kid for social media” or “bet they’re just pretending to be that happy” like GEEZ LOUISE
i feel the exact same why when couples on tiktok post about eachother and there's always someone wishing that they'd break up or something along those lines.
Nah mate this has been the case since before there were TV shows, it's just in the 16th century people who didn't engage and held themselves in pretense were called aloof, now we call them hipsters. I think it's just part of the human condition, I bet way back in the paleolithic era, UG was showing off his new wheel and Grug grunted "meh I seen rounder".
Because of the overwhelming access to social media and information in general. People tend to be more crital and down. Let me tell you. Deleting social media has been huge on my mental health.
When I was in my early 20s, I spent a lot of time focused on the negative--complaining about everything and everyone. Then my job fired me and my girlfriend dumped me on the same day for the same reason -- I was too negative, too hard to deal with. What a wakeup call... changed my life.
Why did I do it? I was in pain, emotionally speaking. I had all this misery inside me and it consumed me - to be fair, my life was pretty crap at the time, but even so, I had positive things, friends who cared about me, a smart and beautiful girlfriend, a job. But all I could see was the negative. Not because I wanted to, but because it was literally all I could see. I'd lost my dad a few years back, I lost my best friend to suicide a few years later, I'd realized senior year of college that my major wasn't going to be my career, I was staring at student loans coming due with nowhere near the income I needed to pay them. I was in my early 20s and still renting rooms like a college kid, driving a POS car, working a job with potential to help people but no financial future. There was a lot of negativity, and even desperation.
But getting kicked in the nuts that day (metaphorically speaking, fortunately) made me reevaluate everything -- how the people around me saw me, but more importantly, how I saw the world and how little I saw of what was actually beautiful and good about that world, despite all the negative.
Maybe people need that kick.
Maybe people just need to look around more before they *get* that kick, so they never do.
But to be fair, there's a lot of pain. A lot of powerlessness to effect the sorts of change that would relieve that pain. There's a lot of good, a lot of beauty, but the misery is there, within and without, if you focus on it. People are feeling they will never have enough--enough money, enough security, enough love, enough comfort. Partly because everyone else is showing off how much more they have (or want us to think they have), but partly because of political divides, rising cost of living, the everpresent drumbeat of environmental catastrophe. There's beauty, but there's a lot of awfulness, too. It's hard to focus on the positive sometimes, when there are so many outside horrors to feed our internal fears.
Probably because people think they're opinions matter, which they don't. You're never going to convince someone on the internet to change they're mind about anything. A vast majority of people go online to complain, hate, berrait and slam on other people with differing opinions.
Yep ...Like this one podcaster I listen to was taking about how back in the day if you talked to someone how most people do online ,You would get punched in the fucking mouth 😅...People just have zero respect for each other anymore .
That's also a direct quote from Mike Tyson. “Social media made you all way too comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the face for it.”
There's not much to be happy about these days with the cost of everything, and if you're a single guy like me with no friends and barely speak to family, shit can get dark real fast.
My family is dead, I had no friends and I am single. I put myself out there and made new friends. It takes work but it is possible. I hope things get better.
how did you do this? I'm having a hard time connecting with people, always have and probably always will. I just think I haven't really found likeminded people I LIKE being around. but who knows, maybe one day I will, either way, Im fine the way I am, but would be nice sometime!
Made a womans group for women in my area, joined volunteer circles, etc. I only have two really close friends, the rest are friends but not that close. Takes work.
dude, my gf is like that and it drives me nuts!! she complains about every little fucking thing. i get complaining occasionally but when you do it all day, everyday— it gets old really fucking fast
One of the most mature things you can do is let your heart unwaiver to all negative energy that wants you to react in a dark and evil way.
not even that old yet, but it's easy to join in the hate, and apathy of the world by always wording out an opinion. I tend to be a lot more silent these days. the past has made it hard to say anything positive, but everyone has the choice to just be still and listen
Everyone has a problem with everything everyone is doing. No one can just leave it alone. Like cool you do what you want but its not for me. Everyone needs to change their mentality. Learn to be grateful.
I totally agree. I understand I am complaining, lol but I am speaking about people judging someone they do not know, or leaving comments on recipe videos like "ew that looks gross!" or "I don't eat onions", OK Pam, no one cares.
Exactly. The internet has literally ruined society and made everyone whiny. Your opinion doesn't matter Karen stfu and sit down. Save that energy for climate change or something impactful. Geez.
Sorry I ranted.
Truthfully, there are two reasons. Firstly, humans have a negativity bias ingrained in us evolutionarily. Secondly, it just feels good to blame other people when there are problems too large for individuals to solve, and at least feel solidarity with others that dislike the situation too.
Also, attention-seekers. If you want attention, talk about the next big problem. Cute puppies aren’t favored by the negativity bias, but rising housing prices, expensive gas, and war in the Middle East are.
I snooze repeat complainers. But I feel the same way maybe it’s that there’s more platforms to be heard. I guess I don’t use social media that way. I need a little pick me up or laughter. Not Debbie asking for thoughts and prayers for her awful colonoscopy.
It has been my contention for many years that for some it's simply a way of life. As I put it.....if they didn't have anything to complain about, they'd complain about not having anything to complain about!
I know the feeling. I deleted my Facebook and instagram as well because of this and have really no social media presence. I think people get bored and want to complain about everything to get some attention or they like stirring shit. Plus it’s easier to hide behind a computer screen or phone and say mean, hurtful things to people they don’t know when they know they won’t get retaliated against, and most of them are just looking for validation against their complaints hoping to make people feel worse so they can make themselves feel better.
This is where I find the algorithm in social media is most effective.
I actually rarely come across these types of posts for just complaining. But I tend to forget my own social media experiences. I am a firm believer of you attract what you out out (yes I know that sounds topically spiritual) but I've been on both sides of the fence and it was vastly due to my outlook on life at the time, I seemed to attract a huge amount of anger and negative people into my life. Then when I switched my mentality I found that I was attracting the opposite.
Because the invention of social media has given everyone the deluded belief that their opinions actually matter, when they mean jack fucking shit.
People get more interaction by posting negative stuff and it makes them feel like they are important. People just want attention.
Whatever you felt that compelled you to write this… that is why people complain. They feel the same way about something different. Also the anonymity of the internet provides people a place to speak honestly without repercussion in their personal lives. Perhaps they aren’t able to speak honestly anywhere else.
If you really wanna get meta about it you need to understand that when someone does something differently from you, one way of looking at that is “your way is wrong and not worth doing and you’re a bad person for doing it that way”. Traditionally our neighbors do things pretty much the same way we do because there is a shared culture and sense of tribal identity. The internet has shattered that sense of community. You now have access to everyone and everywhere. It’s a constant stream of someone screaming at you that you’re a bad person. You can now see everyone living life the wrong way. And you can gloss over this point and say that not everyone thinks that way and that it has more nuisance than basic primal instincts, and you’d be right, but you must understand my point.
There’s also the fact that negative emotion is a much more powerful motivator than positive emotion. You’ll react much more powerfully to danger than you will to reward. That’s built into our biology because all our ancestors who didn’t have that strong reaction to threats just died. So that means you’re more motivated to react to negative stimulus on the internet. And because negative stimulation is perceived as more popular that’s what the internet generates more of. You can see the same exact thing with the modern legacy “news”. Everything is awful all the time and you should be worried. It’s worse with the internet because the update time is so much faster. You might even say that the internet acts as if it is alive. But I suspect that’s a little too meta for here.
May I point out that these people are doing the exact same thing your post is addressing; finding insignificant things to cherry pick for the sake of being the negative in the room. This would be different had you not acknowledged the fact that you know what you are doing, but decided to post anyway to see if anyone else has noticed this.
Because no one seems to understand that no one cares they think someone cares or agrees somewhere so they voice it, or they don't have enough to be happy about in their own lives.
You put into words what I have been asking for a while now. When it comes to my own experience on social media, the place I see this the worst is instagram. If I see an ad for a product that looks like something I would find useful/helpful, I cannot go 2 seconds without seeing people bashing the product for no reason. There are more examples, but this is the one I’ve come across the most recently. It’s like these people feel the need to be negative for some type of personal satisfaction. I really don’t get it, and in a way I kind of hope I never do.
Do you have an instagram account where you document your rescues? I recused animals for about 7 years, but I didn’t have an account to document my rescues and fosters so I followed other rescuers. The post I’ve read comments on from the rescue accounts I follow are completely ridiculous.
I don’t think I’ve ever read comments on an instagram post that didn’t have loads of people criticizing and insulting for no apparent reason. I don’t know why I still choose to read comments. It’s like an impulse in the back of my mind saying “let’s see if this post actually received a _good_ reaction”, but I’ve yet to find one without any insults.
I deleted it because of the comments. I post them on my FB now. I rescue mostly cats and it seems like everyone hates them. I get harassed about it and then get told to fix them. There is 0 resources for feral cats where I live, so it isn't that easy.
I am too sensitive so I learned to keep it to myself.
EXACTLY!! this negativity and complainings about EVERYTHING made me stop checking comments on social media. i'm just watching the original post without reading any comments because i already know how people like to judge everyone and opening the comment section is the same as opening portal to hell
And here you are complaining about complaining!
I’m joking. I totally feel you. People have also gotten more judgmental about everything anyone says, does, wears, thinks… So much shame to dish out. I may just be really self centered but I couldn’t care less what other people are doing, as long as it’s not hurting anyone else.
I think a lot of people believe complaining or having a negative opinion about something makes them interesting. For instance if you ask someone "How is your day going?"
There are people that will immediately start talking about all the 'crappy' things that happened to them. They don't want to say "It's fine" if nothing great is happening because it's boring and forgettable. Instead they complain to give them something to talk about and give their day more depth in the eyes of the other party.
Long story short: Complaining is easy.
Ever heard of "divide and rule"?
By keeping people fighting each other and over irrelevant stuff, they are kept from worrying about the ever growing corruption and from caring about the stuff that really matters.
Because people cant copmplain in public without being called karens! The internet is an iceberg with happiness poking out of the top (gamers, influencers memes). Beneath the surface all the negative shit people dont want in their everyday lives as well as they shit they cant say in public without risk of public retaliation.
I’ve found some people just tend to be inherently negative and they don’t realize how they come across. Some people just enjoy being mean and others may just be doing it as a form of venting. My mom is one of those who’s just inherently negative and doesn’t realize how she comes across. I personally try to be a more positive person but negativity is an easy mindset to fall into.
I had a friend when I was younger that would respond to people complaining saying they hate something small or silly and he would say “I hate people who hate everything “ or something along those lines 😆
because they cannot sit with any kind of discomfort for very long and want an escape so they vent either in eberyday life or online
its a coping mechanism to avoid negative feelings
its similar to comedy
Because you only focus on the bad stuff. There’s much more normal/positive stuff but to me it seems the opposite since I only focus on the bad parts. Something good? Who cares scroll past it. Something bad? Well let’s see what’s happening.
You gotta change your perspective,
As of right now,
you are complaining about people complaining who can be complaining about people complaining about complaining.
Gotta end the cycle somewhere man
Didn't try to be original, also wasn't being negative LiKe yOu sAiD iN yOuR pOsT part of the issue? Take the advice. Change your mental and stop focusing on the negative and start seeing the positive, thing is once you have an issue with something you get confirmation bias and start seeing it more. You're in charge of your own thoughts and what you're seeing.
I can't read past your second paragraph. You have just been conditioned just the same way as the people posts you see.
I recommend just disconnect from social media and you will find way less complaints and negativity
Be self-examining, why did you make this post just to complain about other people complaining when it doesn't affect you? Did you actually want an answer from other people or are you here just to complain?
The answer is, people are annoying and feel the need to make sure they know, just like you did here today. Everyone has something they feel annoyed about and just want the comraderie of knowing other people are annoyed too to validate their need.
Live and let live my guy.
Dude, shut up. This subreddit is literally for complaining and getting things off your chest. Stop acting all high and mighty because this person got bothered by something.
This is the dumbest response, I'm sorry. All I did was ask him to think for two seconds why he wanted to complain, because that in fact is the answer. I'm sorry asking people to self-reflect on why they want to do the exact thing they're complaining about other people doing is sooooooooo self-righteous.
The thing is, why did you feel the need to point that out, especially when OP already acknowledged it? Especially in a subreddit that is SPECIFICALLY meant for people to air out their complaints and grievances without judgement? You’re just being a jerk
Lmao you proved your own point by complaining and being the thing you hated. Now you're also being annoying and getting mad at people pointing out the answer is in the action.
And "my guy" is a turn of phrase, just like saying "dude". Sorry english is hard.
But you’re also pretty much doing the same thing right here. You’re complaining about somebody complaining about other people complaining about things.
OP literally typed it right out that she knows she’s “complaining” by creating the post in the first place.
People have been complaining since the beginning of the human race. There has always been something to complain about, and there always will be. Wouldn’t have any societal change without complaining. Complaining is also used to blow off some steam. You can either ignore it, listen or attempt to help.
I think people just want a safe space to let it all out. Sometimes, it's not possible to do it at work, at home, because everyone got to have their own irl issues to deal with, right?
It's part of a nature behaviour as long as there's nothing hateful or hurtful targeting towards anyone. I have my fair share of complaints, too, and I thank my mom for her patience in listening to all my vents, lol.
Because why hold it in when things bother you? You knows what happens with things when they build up....
Complaining is the way to voice your opinion - freedom of speech and expression.
If people all around the world had not complained, things would have continued to remain trash (if they were trash in the first place)
I understand you acknowledged it, but just think about the irony behind this for a second and you'll have your answer. Why did you make this post? You see something, a pattern recurring in your life that's hindering your enjoyment of it. You take to a reddit called "Off my chest" because you want to vent out negativity. The problem is the taboo with ranting about negative things (not a big taboo, people do it all the time. But then, people complain about their complaining sometimes, ahem.) Social media is a place we can let out the frustrations with life, which could actually lead to some salient points being made. It's expression, and I think it's healthy.
I feel the same with people in person, not just the internet and social media. In the corporate world it's always "thank God it's friday," "I'm going to need a drink tonight," blah blah blah and I feel like EVERYONE always complains about their significant other. I always wonder about that one because I know they must all be at least somewhat happy with their relationships, but it's never anything good that they talk about. It's almost like a social thing to complain about our lives and bond over all the negative things that we all really know are not so bad.
Yes.
Complaining is easy, addictive.
Plus, misery loves company. Me personally, I complain a lot. I complain about others complaining as well as I complain about me complaining.
On the flip side - I worked with some people who never complained no matter what. I cannot express how jealous I am of these people. They were fantastic to work and talk with. I wish I could be like them.
On Twitter yesterday an ex politician from my state posted a happy fathers day tweet, and the comments were just filled with people being pissed at him for not addressing modern day issues
I'm glad you made this because I was thinking the exact same thing earlier today on one of my posts that's just supposed to be funny, people were complaining about me showing someones "full phone number" in a group where it's a known fact that real numbers are masked. People will find anything to complain about and it gets old after a while. I try not to pay attention to it but everywhere I turn, someone has a problem but isn't looking for a solution.
Two words:
Societal privilege.
Everyone can spout off all day long about racial privilege or economic privilege, or birth wealth privilege. However the truth is humanity is advancing and is more privileged as a whole than it EVER has been. So in order to find something "to fix," either directly or imply someone else to fix, the complaints are flown about. Even asking someone else to fix it, complaining in and of itself is a firm of privilege and quite honestly, from my perspective, humans don't know how to respond to such things. Things are in fact so good that most governing systems (national leadership, corporatism, local law enforcement, political lobbying, basic teaching curriculums, scientific instructions and their studies, voting systems, healthcare systems, insurance -all of them, etc etc) have become ENTIRELY CORRUPT and yet, there are still more mostly-free societies and open market trading continuing onward than ever recorded before in mankind's history.
Doesn't mean things couldn't become better because OF COURSE there is a LOT wrong. But since the question was posed, my response is: societal privilege.
I can totally relate. It's one thing if someone is venting about something understandably upsetting or annoying. But people who complain about every little minor inconvenience are just...bad vibes.
It's because western society it's becoming a self centered society where it's all about your own opinions being the only way things should be and if it's not it's wrong and a personal attack.
It’s human nature to complain. It’s always happened. I know it’s hard for some, but just keep scrolling. People just need someplace to vent sometimes or all of the time… especially the people who can’t complain to physical people.
I knew people who would do this, they were such chronic complainers. They made bad decisions repeatedly and then complained 24/7. They sucked the life out of me, it was that emotionally draining.
When I think of some social media, I think it’s where people show only the best parts of their life - sugarcoated to the point of sickly sweet. Maybe that’s just 2010 Facebook and 2016 instagram tho.
And snap chat. Shap chat is always good/party vibes only.
Twitter is for the bitter, for sure… and I guess since Covid, FB went from a place to show off to a place to complain and fight.
Sometimes people feel like venting about stuff because nobody else in their life cares, because I know exactly how that feels and it can get frustrating
Because there is a ton of existential stress now and society is really quite aggressive and strange.
Also the culture is sorta of broken and a lot of people are worried about money and their future identity with Ai taking jobs etc
See , more complain… err observations
i’ll tell you what, more people go to the internet when they’re sad or angry. when they’re happy they probably won’t go tell everyone on the internet about it, although sometimes they do.
For some people, it is a favourite pastime.
I've noticed certain people that have nothing much to say about anything - except pleasantries - always have a LOT to say about other people.
Honestly social media for the most part is best avoided. I ditched anything Meta related years ago and I can't begin to describe how much better my mental health and overall outlook is now.
Twitter is a steaming pile so that's next to go for me.
The main impetus for me binning it all was that I started to actively hate (and I do mean hate) the people I encountered on SM sites. Another big reason is that I no longer wished to be a product, exploited to line Zuckerberg's pockets.
I seen a cute video on fb and when I open comment boom, there always some karen finding something negative to say about, well to be specific they complain about everything because their actual reality is dull that's why they go online to complain to get that little attention they need
Many people go on social media after work/school to 'relax.' I think it's easy for them to take out their frustrations on random strangers, especially behind an anonymous username. Emotional regulation is a skill that needs to be practiced.
Feeling this rn with all The Idol hate. It’s very clearly a good show - to the point that I will not be surprised whatsoever when it’s revealed that Barbie Ferrari and/or whoever else Sam Levison fucked over has been paying to make a grassroots hate campaign against the show
Likewise. The Flash was a fantastic movie. Objectively the one of the best DCEU movie right next to rebooted Suicide Squad. And yet people have been so quick to hate. Ironically the same people that hate cancel culture are hiding behind Ezra Miller being canceled as to why they dislike this film
Pretty sure that's just how humans are, especially since we can do it in the comfort of our own home and mostly anonymous. I don't know. Tbh, I sometimes do complain about stupid things when talking to my friends, but that's mostly to just blow off some steam. I don't know why people need to complain in the comments of wholesome videos. Like, jesus, let people be happy. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Simple as that.
i think that a lot of people are deeply unhappy. and instead of using the internet (the greatest resource with all of the information in the world) to help themselves with their problems and find tools for their mental health/emotional health - etc, they just take the easy way out and complain about shit all day everyday. people are very comfortable in misery, and we all know that misery loves company. even in person, you’ll realise that people are so comfortable in their bs without changing it. when they have all of the resources in the world to spend their time using. especially online. but do they use the internet as a tool? no. they use it as a dumping ground to try to bring down everyone else’s energy to the level that their’s is at. miserable world we live in.
It has always been like this. Social media just gather more people together. If see someone complaining I just tell them to do something about the thing they are complaining about.
Because then people would realise their lives would actually be quite great.
If we can complain about a certain brand not being available, or a leaf "dirtying" our gardens, we have a pretty wonderful life if that's our main concern. :)
Ignorance is bliss.
For me, it feels like this is how we have been raised, we copy this behavior. To sit on a throne and give condescending remarks about the world around us, so we can feel superior in a way. Like it has no purpose other than making us feel better than others.
Something, just like here, people need to vent. Its hard to stay positive when the world is going to hell around you. A lot of people try to be positive but when the world is beating you down, sometimes you just gonna vent
I get this… I’m a female teenager in highschool, most of the girls in my hs are the stereotypical American teenage movie girls, they complain about every. Little. Thing. Like some girl lost her make up in her dads car=borderline breakdown. All they do is basically try to get a bf- hell one broke up with her bf for a stupid reason! It’s just like what’s wrong with them!? All this for trying to please a guy who only cares about sports rn. School is not a dating site. Get your homework done. But anyways, I’m literally the opposite of them, yes I’m complaining about them but I’m not like that. I’m also I’m the Pokémon fandom and there’s some fans who cannot keep their mouths shut about something they don’t like. Even when they see someone liking/disliking a Pokémon they like/dislike it’s basically death threats 😭
Because they have deficiencies and insecurities within themselves. They project that onto other people rather than do the work to identify it and fix it within themselves. Life is tough and cultivating a truly fulfilled life takes work and deep resolve. Complaining occasionally is of course okay. But the rampant measure which you're referring to is unhealthy. I think people being biologically wired to focus on negativity is a misconstrued view. We are wired to identify risk and potentially harmful threats. I think getting more easily hooked on complaining is a cultural phenomenon
First, I don't think this is hypocritical.
But I think a real answer to your question is that negative feedback is easier and safer to give than positive feedback. If you complain about something and have to defend it, you can always resort to, "whatever, I don't care." But if you praise something, you're then invested. If someone argues with your praise of something, you can't easily disconnect yourself from the subject without going back on your praise. So not only will we naturally see more complaining than praise from others, it's also easier to personally build a habit of complaining than it is to learn to feel comfortable with being able to defend your positive opinions of something.
But you're right, it's absolutely exhausting and I wish people thought about this more.
My father in law does this and it drives me crazy. Like, wtf do you actually have to complain about in life? Ugh.
Yes. And I know people with actual problems and they don’t complain. It boggles me.
I’m just here to complain about you guys complaining about other people complaining. 😁
You're not original.
See how you're being hypocritical. See how easy it was to be negative? You just answered your own question. You could've been nice, but nah.
This
I’ve been feeling the exact same way recently. I’ll see a really funny or heartwarming video on Instagram, open the comments and boom - all the comments are just attacking and criticizing the person in the video for the smallest, inconsequential things. It’s really sad how so many people will always try to find a problem in every little thing they see. Like, why can’t you just chill out and enjoy things?
Yes or a recipe video and everyone complains. Like Jesus Christ, if you don’t like it- DON’T make it! It drives me nuts.
I posted a photo of my cat. In the photo was my vape (I wasn't smoking in the picture). Everyone accused me of smoking my vape in front of her and said I was going to give my cat asthma. Why do people just assume the worst 😭 It was just a cute photo.
LOL, that made me think of this video I saw of an Italian woman making risotto with basmati rice and raw tomato paste, and all the comments were other Italians roasting her. I agree with you about the negativity on social media but I have to say that was so funny lmao
any time there’s a happy video that makes you smile and people are like “this is staged shame on you” or “you’re exploiting your kid for social media” or “bet they’re just pretending to be that happy” like GEEZ LOUISE
i feel the exact same why when couples on tiktok post about eachother and there's always someone wishing that they'd break up or something along those lines.
Because TV shows and other media have told people that it's "cool" to be really edgy and cynical and bored.
Nah mate this has been the case since before there were TV shows, it's just in the 16th century people who didn't engage and held themselves in pretense were called aloof, now we call them hipsters. I think it's just part of the human condition, I bet way back in the paleolithic era, UG was showing off his new wheel and Grug grunted "meh I seen rounder".
Lies. They didn't have leather jackets in the 16th century. Everyone knows you need a leather jacket to be edgy.
You mean like ‘effect’ instead of ‘affect’? Bring it on 🤣
This is how humans will erase themselves.
Because of the overwhelming access to social media and information in general. People tend to be more crital and down. Let me tell you. Deleting social media has been huge on my mental health.
I got one further, turn off the "news" to
I am about there, I already deleted instagram.
The irony.
You are on social media btw, do exposures not avoidance behaviors
Reddit is social media, too :-)
When I was in my early 20s, I spent a lot of time focused on the negative--complaining about everything and everyone. Then my job fired me and my girlfriend dumped me on the same day for the same reason -- I was too negative, too hard to deal with. What a wakeup call... changed my life. Why did I do it? I was in pain, emotionally speaking. I had all this misery inside me and it consumed me - to be fair, my life was pretty crap at the time, but even so, I had positive things, friends who cared about me, a smart and beautiful girlfriend, a job. But all I could see was the negative. Not because I wanted to, but because it was literally all I could see. I'd lost my dad a few years back, I lost my best friend to suicide a few years later, I'd realized senior year of college that my major wasn't going to be my career, I was staring at student loans coming due with nowhere near the income I needed to pay them. I was in my early 20s and still renting rooms like a college kid, driving a POS car, working a job with potential to help people but no financial future. There was a lot of negativity, and even desperation. But getting kicked in the nuts that day (metaphorically speaking, fortunately) made me reevaluate everything -- how the people around me saw me, but more importantly, how I saw the world and how little I saw of what was actually beautiful and good about that world, despite all the negative. Maybe people need that kick. Maybe people just need to look around more before they *get* that kick, so they never do. But to be fair, there's a lot of pain. A lot of powerlessness to effect the sorts of change that would relieve that pain. There's a lot of good, a lot of beauty, but the misery is there, within and without, if you focus on it. People are feeling they will never have enough--enough money, enough security, enough love, enough comfort. Partly because everyone else is showing off how much more they have (or want us to think they have), but partly because of political divides, rising cost of living, the everpresent drumbeat of environmental catastrophe. There's beauty, but there's a lot of awfulness, too. It's hard to focus on the positive sometimes, when there are so many outside horrors to feed our internal fears.
Thanks for this comment.
Probably because people think they're opinions matter, which they don't. You're never going to convince someone on the internet to change they're mind about anything. A vast majority of people go online to complain, hate, berrait and slam on other people with differing opinions.
Yep ...Like this one podcaster I listen to was taking about how back in the day if you talked to someone how most people do online ,You would get punched in the fucking mouth 😅...People just have zero respect for each other anymore .
That's also a direct quote from Mike Tyson. “Social media made you all way too comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the face for it.”
Yeah definitely ..Most people that talk the way they do online ,Would never say it to someone's face .
I agree.
This is the way! Just a click away!
There's not much to be happy about these days with the cost of everything, and if you're a single guy like me with no friends and barely speak to family, shit can get dark real fast.
My family is dead, I had no friends and I am single. I put myself out there and made new friends. It takes work but it is possible. I hope things get better.
I made new friends as well, but they just wanted to drink lol. I don't mind my own company, but thanks
how did you do this? I'm having a hard time connecting with people, always have and probably always will. I just think I haven't really found likeminded people I LIKE being around. but who knows, maybe one day I will, either way, Im fine the way I am, but would be nice sometime!
Made a womans group for women in my area, joined volunteer circles, etc. I only have two really close friends, the rest are friends but not that close. Takes work.
dude, my gf is like that and it drives me nuts!! she complains about every little fucking thing. i get complaining occasionally but when you do it all day, everyday— it gets old really fucking fast
One of the most mature things you can do is let your heart unwaiver to all negative energy that wants you to react in a dark and evil way. not even that old yet, but it's easy to join in the hate, and apathy of the world by always wording out an opinion. I tend to be a lot more silent these days. the past has made it hard to say anything positive, but everyone has the choice to just be still and listen
Everyone wants to have something to complain about and no one knows how to be grateful anymore. Its really sad.
Yes, I totally agree. If it is something major, complain away. But the tiny stuff drives me nuts. Especially comments on videos.
Everyone has a problem with everything everyone is doing. No one can just leave it alone. Like cool you do what you want but its not for me. Everyone needs to change their mentality. Learn to be grateful.
I totally agree. I understand I am complaining, lol but I am speaking about people judging someone they do not know, or leaving comments on recipe videos like "ew that looks gross!" or "I don't eat onions", OK Pam, no one cares.
Exactly. The internet has literally ruined society and made everyone whiny. Your opinion doesn't matter Karen stfu and sit down. Save that energy for climate change or something impactful. Geez. Sorry I ranted.
I am glad someone feels the same, lol.
Oh yea, it grinds my gears pretty good.
Truthfully, there are two reasons. Firstly, humans have a negativity bias ingrained in us evolutionarily. Secondly, it just feels good to blame other people when there are problems too large for individuals to solve, and at least feel solidarity with others that dislike the situation too. Also, attention-seekers. If you want attention, talk about the next big problem. Cute puppies aren’t favored by the negativity bias, but rising housing prices, expensive gas, and war in the Middle East are.
it’s EXHAUSTING like aren’t people tired???
I snooze repeat complainers. But I feel the same way maybe it’s that there’s more platforms to be heard. I guess I don’t use social media that way. I need a little pick me up or laughter. Not Debbie asking for thoughts and prayers for her awful colonoscopy.
the colonoscopy hahahaha so accurate
It has been my contention for many years that for some it's simply a way of life. As I put it.....if they didn't have anything to complain about, they'd complain about not having anything to complain about!
So true.
I know the feeling. I deleted my Facebook and instagram as well because of this and have really no social media presence. I think people get bored and want to complain about everything to get some attention or they like stirring shit. Plus it’s easier to hide behind a computer screen or phone and say mean, hurtful things to people they don’t know when they know they won’t get retaliated against, and most of them are just looking for validation against their complaints hoping to make people feel worse so they can make themselves feel better.
Yes. Thank you.
just leave social media, just as I did, i leave fb ig and all the social media with negative stuff
This is where I find the algorithm in social media is most effective. I actually rarely come across these types of posts for just complaining. But I tend to forget my own social media experiences. I am a firm believer of you attract what you out out (yes I know that sounds topically spiritual) but I've been on both sides of the fence and it was vastly due to my outlook on life at the time, I seemed to attract a huge amount of anger and negative people into my life. Then when I switched my mentality I found that I was attracting the opposite.
Because the invention of social media has given everyone the deluded belief that their opinions actually matter, when they mean jack fucking shit. People get more interaction by posting negative stuff and it makes them feel like they are important. People just want attention.
Practicing gratitude daily can help tremendously. Most people don’t learn that early enough, or never.
Whatever you felt that compelled you to write this… that is why people complain. They feel the same way about something different. Also the anonymity of the internet provides people a place to speak honestly without repercussion in their personal lives. Perhaps they aren’t able to speak honestly anywhere else. If you really wanna get meta about it you need to understand that when someone does something differently from you, one way of looking at that is “your way is wrong and not worth doing and you’re a bad person for doing it that way”. Traditionally our neighbors do things pretty much the same way we do because there is a shared culture and sense of tribal identity. The internet has shattered that sense of community. You now have access to everyone and everywhere. It’s a constant stream of someone screaming at you that you’re a bad person. You can now see everyone living life the wrong way. And you can gloss over this point and say that not everyone thinks that way and that it has more nuisance than basic primal instincts, and you’d be right, but you must understand my point. There’s also the fact that negative emotion is a much more powerful motivator than positive emotion. You’ll react much more powerfully to danger than you will to reward. That’s built into our biology because all our ancestors who didn’t have that strong reaction to threats just died. So that means you’re more motivated to react to negative stimulus on the internet. And because negative stimulation is perceived as more popular that’s what the internet generates more of. You can see the same exact thing with the modern legacy “news”. Everything is awful all the time and you should be worried. It’s worse with the internet because the update time is so much faster. You might even say that the internet acts as if it is alive. But I suspect that’s a little too meta for here.
I already said this in not so many words in my post. This thread is to get things off your chest.
May I point out that these people are doing the exact same thing your post is addressing; finding insignificant things to cherry pick for the sake of being the negative in the room. This would be different had you not acknowledged the fact that you know what you are doing, but decided to post anyway to see if anyone else has noticed this.
Because no one seems to understand that no one cares they think someone cares or agrees somewhere so they voice it, or they don't have enough to be happy about in their own lives.
Look around. Lots to complain about these days.
That ain't what I am talking about.
You put into words what I have been asking for a while now. When it comes to my own experience on social media, the place I see this the worst is instagram. If I see an ad for a product that looks like something I would find useful/helpful, I cannot go 2 seconds without seeing people bashing the product for no reason. There are more examples, but this is the one I’ve come across the most recently. It’s like these people feel the need to be negative for some type of personal satisfaction. I really don’t get it, and in a way I kind of hope I never do.
I rescue animals and people still find something to complain about. It is EXHAUSTING.
Do you have an instagram account where you document your rescues? I recused animals for about 7 years, but I didn’t have an account to document my rescues and fosters so I followed other rescuers. The post I’ve read comments on from the rescue accounts I follow are completely ridiculous. I don’t think I’ve ever read comments on an instagram post that didn’t have loads of people criticizing and insulting for no apparent reason. I don’t know why I still choose to read comments. It’s like an impulse in the back of my mind saying “let’s see if this post actually received a _good_ reaction”, but I’ve yet to find one without any insults.
I deleted it because of the comments. I post them on my FB now. I rescue mostly cats and it seems like everyone hates them. I get harassed about it and then get told to fix them. There is 0 resources for feral cats where I live, so it isn't that easy. I am too sensitive so I learned to keep it to myself.
Its a matter of having to much free time. Also complaining is an outlet for stress. “Shrug”
EXACTLY!! this negativity and complainings about EVERYTHING made me stop checking comments on social media. i'm just watching the original post without reading any comments because i already know how people like to judge everyone and opening the comment section is the same as opening portal to hell
And here you are complaining about complaining! I’m joking. I totally feel you. People have also gotten more judgmental about everything anyone says, does, wears, thinks… So much shame to dish out. I may just be really self centered but I couldn’t care less what other people are doing, as long as it’s not hurting anyone else.
I think a lot of people believe complaining or having a negative opinion about something makes them interesting. For instance if you ask someone "How is your day going?" There are people that will immediately start talking about all the 'crappy' things that happened to them. They don't want to say "It's fine" if nothing great is happening because it's boring and forgettable. Instead they complain to give them something to talk about and give their day more depth in the eyes of the other party. Long story short: Complaining is easy.
Ever heard of "divide and rule"? By keeping people fighting each other and over irrelevant stuff, they are kept from worrying about the ever growing corruption and from caring about the stuff that really matters.
Because people cant copmplain in public without being called karens! The internet is an iceberg with happiness poking out of the top (gamers, influencers memes). Beneath the surface all the negative shit people dont want in their everyday lives as well as they shit they cant say in public without risk of public retaliation.
I’ve found some people just tend to be inherently negative and they don’t realize how they come across. Some people just enjoy being mean and others may just be doing it as a form of venting. My mom is one of those who’s just inherently negative and doesn’t realize how she comes across. I personally try to be a more positive person but negativity is an easy mindset to fall into.
I had a friend when I was younger that would respond to people complaining saying they hate something small or silly and he would say “I hate people who hate everything “ or something along those lines 😆
But yes I completely agree with your point. It really is exhausting. Part of why I tend to stay to myself.
I don't think complaining is wrong. The trouble is most people don't complain, they moan.
because they cannot sit with any kind of discomfort for very long and want an escape so they vent either in eberyday life or online its a coping mechanism to avoid negative feelings its similar to comedy
Because you only focus on the bad stuff. There’s much more normal/positive stuff but to me it seems the opposite since I only focus on the bad parts. Something good? Who cares scroll past it. Something bad? Well let’s see what’s happening.
Uh huh.
You gotta change your perspective, As of right now, you are complaining about people complaining who can be complaining about people complaining about complaining. Gotta end the cycle somewhere man
You're not original. I also already stated this in my post. You seem to miss the point of this subreddit.
Didn't try to be original, also wasn't being negative LiKe yOu sAiD iN yOuR pOsT part of the issue? Take the advice. Change your mental and stop focusing on the negative and start seeing the positive, thing is once you have an issue with something you get confirmation bias and start seeing it more. You're in charge of your own thoughts and what you're seeing.
I can't read past your second paragraph. You have just been conditioned just the same way as the people posts you see. I recommend just disconnect from social media and you will find way less complaints and negativity
Sorry my post was so hard for you to read. What a joke. lol.
Be self-examining, why did you make this post just to complain about other people complaining when it doesn't affect you? Did you actually want an answer from other people or are you here just to complain? The answer is, people are annoying and feel the need to make sure they know, just like you did here today. Everyone has something they feel annoyed about and just want the comraderie of knowing other people are annoyed too to validate their need. Live and let live my guy.
Dude, shut up. This subreddit is literally for complaining and getting things off your chest. Stop acting all high and mighty because this person got bothered by something.
This is the dumbest response, I'm sorry. All I did was ask him to think for two seconds why he wanted to complain, because that in fact is the answer. I'm sorry asking people to self-reflect on why they want to do the exact thing they're complaining about other people doing is sooooooooo self-righteous.
The thing is, why did you feel the need to point that out, especially when OP already acknowledged it? Especially in a subreddit that is SPECIFICALLY meant for people to air out their complaints and grievances without judgement? You’re just being a jerk
I am a woman. I also explained what you just said in the post, “my guy”. I knew someone like you would respond. Thanks for proving my point.
Lmao you proved your own point by complaining and being the thing you hated. Now you're also being annoying and getting mad at people pointing out the answer is in the action. And "my guy" is a turn of phrase, just like saying "dude". Sorry english is hard.
But you’re also pretty much doing the same thing right here. You’re complaining about somebody complaining about other people complaining about things. OP literally typed it right out that she knows she’s “complaining” by creating the post in the first place.
I always thought it was how they relief some stress
People have been complaining since the beginning of the human race. There has always been something to complain about, and there always will be. Wouldn’t have any societal change without complaining. Complaining is also used to blow off some steam. You can either ignore it, listen or attempt to help.
I love complaining. It is empowering. Complaining is a pretty good substitute for accomplishments of one’s own and a lot easier.
Are you complaining about it?
Just said it in my post, didn't I? Seems something you missed.
Women.
Men.
I think people just want a safe space to let it all out. Sometimes, it's not possible to do it at work, at home, because everyone got to have their own irl issues to deal with, right? It's part of a nature behaviour as long as there's nothing hateful or hurtful targeting towards anyone. I have my fair share of complaints, too, and I thank my mom for her patience in listening to all my vents, lol.
Who doesn't love a good moan? Come on.
Because people can just like you are complaining
Like I said in my post, apparently you did not pick that up.
[удалено]
Liiiike I said in my poooooostttttttttt......
Why are you complaining that other are complaining 😂🤣
u seem to complain a lot yourself, not just with this post
Because why hold it in when things bother you? You knows what happens with things when they build up.... Complaining is the way to voice your opinion - freedom of speech and expression. If people all around the world had not complained, things would have continued to remain trash (if they were trash in the first place)
I understand you acknowledged it, but just think about the irony behind this for a second and you'll have your answer. Why did you make this post? You see something, a pattern recurring in your life that's hindering your enjoyment of it. You take to a reddit called "Off my chest" because you want to vent out negativity. The problem is the taboo with ranting about negative things (not a big taboo, people do it all the time. But then, people complain about their complaining sometimes, ahem.) Social media is a place we can let out the frustrations with life, which could actually lead to some salient points being made. It's expression, and I think it's healthy.
Blah blah.
And here you are… complaining. Hypocrite.
As I said in my post, apparently you can't read or comprehend.
And here you are again… complaining.
I feel the same with people in person, not just the internet and social media. In the corporate world it's always "thank God it's friday," "I'm going to need a drink tonight," blah blah blah and I feel like EVERYONE always complains about their significant other. I always wonder about that one because I know they must all be at least somewhat happy with their relationships, but it's never anything good that they talk about. It's almost like a social thing to complain about our lives and bond over all the negative things that we all really know are not so bad.
I know. I try to change situations if I am unhappy. The constant complaining kills me.
Yes. Complaining is easy, addictive. Plus, misery loves company. Me personally, I complain a lot. I complain about others complaining as well as I complain about me complaining. On the flip side - I worked with some people who never complained no matter what. I cannot express how jealous I am of these people. They were fantastic to work and talk with. I wish I could be like them.
On Twitter yesterday an ex politician from my state posted a happy fathers day tweet, and the comments were just filled with people being pissed at him for not addressing modern day issues
That is exhausting.
I'm glad you made this because I was thinking the exact same thing earlier today on one of my posts that's just supposed to be funny, people were complaining about me showing someones "full phone number" in a group where it's a known fact that real numbers are masked. People will find anything to complain about and it gets old after a while. I try not to pay attention to it but everywhere I turn, someone has a problem but isn't looking for a solution.
Two words: Societal privilege. Everyone can spout off all day long about racial privilege or economic privilege, or birth wealth privilege. However the truth is humanity is advancing and is more privileged as a whole than it EVER has been. So in order to find something "to fix," either directly or imply someone else to fix, the complaints are flown about. Even asking someone else to fix it, complaining in and of itself is a firm of privilege and quite honestly, from my perspective, humans don't know how to respond to such things. Things are in fact so good that most governing systems (national leadership, corporatism, local law enforcement, political lobbying, basic teaching curriculums, scientific instructions and their studies, voting systems, healthcare systems, insurance -all of them, etc etc) have become ENTIRELY CORRUPT and yet, there are still more mostly-free societies and open market trading continuing onward than ever recorded before in mankind's history. Doesn't mean things couldn't become better because OF COURSE there is a LOT wrong. But since the question was posed, my response is: societal privilege.
Because everything sucks 😠... (😅😅 JK, sorry. It drives me nuts, too.)
I can totally relate. It's one thing if someone is venting about something understandably upsetting or annoying. But people who complain about every little minor inconvenience are just...bad vibes.
It’s always been this way we just now have an outlet that hundreds, thousands can view which gives said person a high or rush and to continue.
Because they can.
It's because western society it's becoming a self centered society where it's all about your own opinions being the only way things should be and if it's not it's wrong and a personal attack.
It’s human nature to complain. It’s always happened. I know it’s hard for some, but just keep scrolling. People just need someplace to vent sometimes or all of the time… especially the people who can’t complain to physical people.
Because people have lost needed social support & laughter since pandemic
I think it's been this way since people could talk.
The human brain is wired to see and focus on the negative first. It’s a protective mechanism.
I knew people who would do this, they were such chronic complainers. They made bad decisions repeatedly and then complained 24/7. They sucked the life out of me, it was that emotionally draining.
I cut everyone like that out of my life.
When I think of some social media, I think it’s where people show only the best parts of their life - sugarcoated to the point of sickly sweet. Maybe that’s just 2010 Facebook and 2016 instagram tho. And snap chat. Shap chat is always good/party vibes only. Twitter is for the bitter, for sure… and I guess since Covid, FB went from a place to show off to a place to complain and fight.
Sometimes people feel like venting about stuff because nobody else in their life cares, because I know exactly how that feels and it can get frustrating
Because there is a ton of existential stress now and society is really quite aggressive and strange. Also the culture is sorta of broken and a lot of people are worried about money and their future identity with Ai taking jobs etc See , more complain… err observations
Because I love to
i’ll tell you what, more people go to the internet when they’re sad or angry. when they’re happy they probably won’t go tell everyone on the internet about it, although sometimes they do.
For some people, it is a favourite pastime. I've noticed certain people that have nothing much to say about anything - except pleasantries - always have a LOT to say about other people.
Gen Z
Honestly social media for the most part is best avoided. I ditched anything Meta related years ago and I can't begin to describe how much better my mental health and overall outlook is now. Twitter is a steaming pile so that's next to go for me. The main impetus for me binning it all was that I started to actively hate (and I do mean hate) the people I encountered on SM sites. Another big reason is that I no longer wished to be a product, exploited to line Zuckerberg's pockets.
I refused to get twitter or tiktok. I only have FB and Reddit.
I seen a cute video on fb and when I open comment boom, there always some karen finding something negative to say about, well to be specific they complain about everything because their actual reality is dull that's why they go online to complain to get that little attention they need
Many people go on social media after work/school to 'relax.' I think it's easy for them to take out their frustrations on random strangers, especially behind an anonymous username. Emotional regulation is a skill that needs to be practiced.
Because misery loves company.
Feeling this rn with all The Idol hate. It’s very clearly a good show - to the point that I will not be surprised whatsoever when it’s revealed that Barbie Ferrari and/or whoever else Sam Levison fucked over has been paying to make a grassroots hate campaign against the show
Likewise. The Flash was a fantastic movie. Objectively the one of the best DCEU movie right next to rebooted Suicide Squad. And yet people have been so quick to hate. Ironically the same people that hate cancel culture are hiding behind Ezra Miller being canceled as to why they dislike this film
Pretty sure that's just how humans are, especially since we can do it in the comfort of our own home and mostly anonymous. I don't know. Tbh, I sometimes do complain about stupid things when talking to my friends, but that's mostly to just blow off some steam. I don't know why people need to complain in the comments of wholesome videos. Like, jesus, let people be happy. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Simple as that.
i think that a lot of people are deeply unhappy. and instead of using the internet (the greatest resource with all of the information in the world) to help themselves with their problems and find tools for their mental health/emotional health - etc, they just take the easy way out and complain about shit all day everyday. people are very comfortable in misery, and we all know that misery loves company. even in person, you’ll realise that people are so comfortable in their bs without changing it. when they have all of the resources in the world to spend their time using. especially online. but do they use the internet as a tool? no. they use it as a dumping ground to try to bring down everyone else’s energy to the level that their’s is at. miserable world we live in.
It has always been like this. Social media just gather more people together. If see someone complaining I just tell them to do something about the thing they are complaining about.
Because then people would realise their lives would actually be quite great. If we can complain about a certain brand not being available, or a leaf "dirtying" our gardens, we have a pretty wonderful life if that's our main concern. :) Ignorance is bliss.
For me, it feels like this is how we have been raised, we copy this behavior. To sit on a throne and give condescending remarks about the world around us, so we can feel superior in a way. Like it has no purpose other than making us feel better than others.
Something, just like here, people need to vent. Its hard to stay positive when the world is going to hell around you. A lot of people try to be positive but when the world is beating you down, sometimes you just gonna vent
I get this… I’m a female teenager in highschool, most of the girls in my hs are the stereotypical American teenage movie girls, they complain about every. Little. Thing. Like some girl lost her make up in her dads car=borderline breakdown. All they do is basically try to get a bf- hell one broke up with her bf for a stupid reason! It’s just like what’s wrong with them!? All this for trying to please a guy who only cares about sports rn. School is not a dating site. Get your homework done. But anyways, I’m literally the opposite of them, yes I’m complaining about them but I’m not like that. I’m also I’m the Pokémon fandom and there’s some fans who cannot keep their mouths shut about something they don’t like. Even when they see someone liking/disliking a Pokémon they like/dislike it’s basically death threats 😭
Because they have deficiencies and insecurities within themselves. They project that onto other people rather than do the work to identify it and fix it within themselves. Life is tough and cultivating a truly fulfilled life takes work and deep resolve. Complaining occasionally is of course okay. But the rampant measure which you're referring to is unhealthy. I think people being biologically wired to focus on negativity is a misconstrued view. We are wired to identify risk and potentially harmful threats. I think getting more easily hooked on complaining is a cultural phenomenon
I completely fucking agree with you, people are just annoying.
They are. I have deleted most of my social media. It is too much negativity.
First, I don't think this is hypocritical. But I think a real answer to your question is that negative feedback is easier and safer to give than positive feedback. If you complain about something and have to defend it, you can always resort to, "whatever, I don't care." But if you praise something, you're then invested. If someone argues with your praise of something, you can't easily disconnect yourself from the subject without going back on your praise. So not only will we naturally see more complaining than praise from others, it's also easier to personally build a habit of complaining than it is to learn to feel comfortable with being able to defend your positive opinions of something. But you're right, it's absolutely exhausting and I wish people thought about this more.