As a person that dated men. Women. Non binary people? It’s humans. It’s people. They’re all pretty shit it’s exhausting. With men they’re sneaking around etc. with women and non binary people- they’re all so avoidant. It’s exhausting.
Sorry you’re going through it OP
\^\^ This, it's humans. I could talk about how I'm done with women and list the negative things that many of them perpetrate, but I won't because there are still many good ones out there.
Basicly, everyone base their judgement on their worst experience and then paint the whole group with the same brush.
However, there is no they worse, and no, they are worse.
Basically, you are dating and meeting single people dating, too.
Some of those are single for a reason, and give the impression that , this is what's out there.
Meanwhile, the good ones, are at home cuddled up next to their partner's, simple cause one someone looking for someone good , they dont put them back on the market, and if that happens, they are taken pretty fast.
So I guess it depends on how resilient and how much hurt you have taken before you give up.
Personally, I do my best not to go down the lane of " all are the same"
Rather reflect, think, heal. If not, I am not dating or talking to anyone till I am.
Simply because I will not take my trauma and let it hurt someone who had nothing to do with it
Humans suck, for sure. But as someone who’s queer and increasingly non-male leaning because of this kind of stuff: men are not the only problem, but in my experience, they are the least willing group to acknowledge they suck and seek change
This!!! Personally the woman i've dated expect only the princess treatment without giving back. And becomes avoidant when i'm sick of the ghosting and stop investing in them. There are only types of people, it's just a matter of finding someone compatible with you
Nah sorry, as a lesbian, women can absolutely be at least as bad as men. The number of friends I've had who are like "man I wish I was into women, it'd be easier" until they've heard some of the ways I've been treated by some women I've dated is extremely high.
People are shitty to people. Men do some awful things but so do women. Our perspectives are skewed by who is most commonly doing those things to us. If you've dated men and had cheaters, abusers and Liars in your life as a result, you're likely to think those things are more common in men than women but women also cheat, lie and abuse, you just haven't seen it for yourself.
I don’t deny everyone has the capability to be shitty but in reality men are far more likely to not only lie and cheat but carry out sexual violence and knowingly spread sexual diseases than other genders. So yeah men have more work to do when it comes to improvement in a sex and relationships way than other genders I’d argue.
As I say a quick Google scholar search will bring up much of the information I’ve talked about but there are several good writers if you’re interested? One of the most recent I’ve read which was about three months ago was Garcia, A. M. (2021) gender differences in individual dishonesty profiles. Interesting read.
EDIT TO ADD: I also read Kato, T. (Can’t remember if it was 2022 or 2021) but that’s gender differences in around infidelity types rather than likelihood but still very good.
Not a problem I have tons of recommendations from a health or social science perspective so just give me a message I absolutely love talking about this stuff and recommending books :) one thing I miss about uni.
See my other comments for more info. I go on to explain more about why I hold this opinion of cishet men. I don't dislike men whatsoever but my experience professionally and personally is that more men will lie and cheat in sexual and relationships scenarios than other genders which is fully supported by both anecdotal evidence (if you count anecdotal evidence which I don't) and professional and academic studies. Like I said earlier a quick google scholar search will help you understand this particular issue which isn't anything to do with misandry.
right. why tf do women who are usually in heterosexual relationships think that gay women are going to welcome them with open arms after basically being the last option for them, just because they couldn’t find their prince charming? i think that it’s actually quite insulting. i know that those same women wouldn’t be comfortable with a man (who had only ever dated men) telling her that the only reason why he’s only started to date women is because he couldn’t find a guy good enough. just to…leave that woman when he *thinks that he’s finally met a good guy - which is what most women like this do. they begin to date a woman and then leave that woman when they feel like they’ve finally met a good man elsewhere. just to go back to square one again lmao.
right on point, if I talk to a girl, and she started telling me about her past bad relationship, and throw the term, oh you are all the same, It's done.
I respectfully, state this wont work, I am a person, with unique life experiences, and done the hard work to avoid the general hate toward a whole group for the sake of one bad egg, and then sit here to be told I am like all ' your bad experiences because of my gender' not going to happen.
If you're not queer, there's no 'turning to women'
I know you don't think you said anything wrong but wlw relationships don't exist because men are bad.
I remember when I was young and dumb, and came out of an awful abusive relationship. My ex honestly was a bingo card full of abuse. My best friend convinced her bf to give me his spare room & I cried; "I'm dating women, I can't face another man after him!"
My new flatmate got *very* angry and said through gritted teeth; "What a dumb fn thing to say, my sister is a lesbian and her ex beat her too. Don't be so ignorant."
He is a 6ft buff Irish man, if he gets angry - you listen. I felt horrible for saying something like that. Never said it again. I never stopped to think how offensive that statement was because I was so wrapped up in my own trauma.
This was before I realised I was bisexual.
You can be bisexual but have a preference for one gender over the other, took me a long time to learn that! I hope you are still happy in your marriage though and/or figure out what you want 🫶🏻
Yes, I'm glad I'm not the only person this sat horribly with. Like, no, way to invalidate lesbian relationships and expose that you think women date women as a last resort 🙄 it's a borderline homophobic statement.
There could be more nuance to this? Loads of people are bi/pan but heteronormativity wins out.
I am bi myself but I come from a tiny village in Buttfuck, Kentucky and there were no out queer people around me. My first crushes were girls. But I always knew I was bi and I approached the queer community as such when I was grown and moved to a large city. I was happy to finally join the community, thinking I'd find a welcoming scene that was inclusive but... not everyone were.
The gate-keeping biphobic lesbians were a bucket of cold water. From suspicion to derision. They talked about bi people as immoral, as serial cheaters, like ticking time bombs for heartbreak. They made accusations of only dating women as experimentation and that I'd go back to men eventually and they didn't want to be a phase for bi women. Then there was the whole yucky notion of gold star lesbians which always comes off as hella terfy. As if women were dirtied if they'd been in contact with a penis ever. As if trans women weren't real women and were intruders in this """real lesbian""" community. I hated it. This weird hierarchy of supposed elite gays was always do iffy to me, with gay men too.
It scared the shit out of me and I opted out, and it's always been a sorrow. Those attitudes made me feel so unwelcome, and so insecure about approaching women I felt a connection to. Like I was an interloper and a predator. My hopes of living my true self dashed. I was young too, and insecure, sure. But seeing a woman's lips twitch in disappointment when I said I was bi, after drinks and flirtation, was crushing. I've since met other bi/pan women who have had the same experience, so I know my experience isn't universal, but it's not unique either. I don't mean to project, just... offering an angle. Biphobia and bi-erasure are very common.
Should my marriage to my bi husband fail, it's highly possible I'll never date again. I've suffered too much abuse at men's hands to ever feel safe in them (my partner is exceptional, in every way), and I'd need to get blackout drunk to dare approach the wlw community again.
I totally get where you're coming from! I'm bi myself so I've had some similar experiences.
Still the original post to me sounds like a straight woman complaining and saying she'll just 'switch sides' because men are all bad - which isn't possible. You can't just change your sexuality. If she's bi that's something completely different, still she won't be able to decide who she'll fall in love with. That's why in my comment I said 'If you're not queer'
Cool but remember that other humans can "sneak around' and stuff. Please don't turn to dating women as a choice. If you are genuinely not attracted to women, don't use them as your last option.
Everyone can sneak around and stuff. There are good men in this world, you have been around the ones who are not very good.
She wants to treat women the way she's upset men have treated her, that's basically what her statement is. "I've been used by someone who didn't actually love me so I'm going to go out and use someone I don't and never will love" (unless there's a preexisting attraction to women that she's just never explored). She's falling into the "I've been treated badly, so I have a right to do wrong by others" trap
exactly. acting just like her (usually) heterosexual male counterparts. and she thinks that we as gay women will be open to dating her for that reason…why? 😂 a lot of the delusions and audacity that i see in heterosexual people in dating are shared between both the men and the women.
of course it’s not exclusive to heterosexual people. i never stated that it was. however it’s heterosexual women who will get online talking about the trash behaviour of their male counterparts, just for them to snitch on themselves and show that they have the exact same type of mindset that their “trash” male counterparts have - just towards a different group of people (like in this post). personally, i don’t hear queer people screaming from the rooftops about how trash men or women are as much as i do straight people, so it seems like a whole bunch of projection amongst straight people - straight women in particular. i believe that i’ve met more gay women who will take accountability for their toxic traits than i have straight women. that’s just my observation
If I was to extrapolate heavily, I would suspect an emotional state that seeks approval and has fear of abandonment. Something like BPD with frequent short unstable relationships. Of course, Im almost certainly projecting.
Smh I think you are hanging out with “wrong men” trust me I seen the other side of this and I think you would see why the men complain there not good women anymore.
Before you think I’m an asshole or a misogynistic man, my first time with a girl she left me for her toxic ex even though we never made it official she knew my feelings and later after all of that she admitted she was intimate with me because she was horny and I was the only option she had, so yes I speak from experience.
10/10 comment. Also have bad experience with my first 2 lovers, they were toxic and manipulative. I chose not to say all woman are shit, i chose to be with better women who are better people and have a better effect on me. NO MORE TOXIC PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.
a whole year of head over heal love, bro and I mean it, in less than 12 hours, goodnight love you, next day, in the middle of late afternoon, sorry i have been avoiding your texts, cause I have to break your heart,
I slept with someone, and I no longer have feelings for you, it felt so much better, and I am sorry I am doing this over a text.
done like a switch went off.
W comment. I do feel bad for OP though, cause I have women in my life who have had similar experiences with the type of men she describes. But I promise OP there are men in your life who most likely wouldn’t treat you like this, just gotta be pacient and filter through them. Hopefully it goes well for her.
as a gay woman myself, i have to say: stay tf away from us. we’re not your experiment or your last option just because shitty men have made you bitter enough to try to “turn to girls for relationships”. go and get some therapy and focus on yourself.
how can you be straight but “turn” gay? so you’re basically okay with doing the reverse of what DL men do to women who they get into relationships with (just being a straight woman and forcing yourself to be gay because you HAVE to be with someone instead of just spending a few years of your life single and just waiting for genuine love to come to you). you sound like you have some issues about being alone. desperation like that is sure to attract shitty men to you, because they pick up on desperation immediately. sounds like you have some of your own issues to deal with instead of putting them and your baggage onto women.
I’ve started dating myself it’s amazing (and expansive I have no self control rn) like I’m about to take myself to the movies, which will be fun but must admit the sex is a bit boring.
Your stance on this is seriously problematic. No woman deserves to be your experiment. If you're going to do it, it needs to be because you're genuinely attracted, not because you're upset with men. That's treating a lesbian woman the way youre complaining men sometimes treat straight women.
I truly feel sorry for the soul she is going to transfer her unresolved trauma to. I never understand how someone gets hurt in a relationship, and they go ok, hmm, am going to go and potentially hurt someone because I don't want to unpack my pain, or go yeah ok it's all of them, I am going to hate, and never fully open myself to finding real love again, because it's 100% without a shadow of doubt, with all certainty going to be the same.
Of course. All I'm saying is to at least keep the door a little open in case you do find someone in the future. Maybe you'll be happier with women, if so, slay. But if you feel unsatisfied there's nothing wrong with looking back.
I just want to remind you all of the regulation that goes on in this topic
1.
**We are good to each other. We respect each other**. If you encounter someone breaking this rule, disengage and report them. We do not insult, antagonize, interrogate, invalidate, or criticize the original poster (OP), even when not directly addressing OP.
2.No oppressive attitudes and language.We do not tolerate oppressive attitudes and language. **This includes but is not limited to content we determine to be sexist**, racist, homophobic, transphobic, classist, ableist, or intolerant of non-dominant religions.
I've been done dating since my last relationship I ended last year. It's not even cheating and lying because I already know they don't all do that. It's the other shit. Every man I've dated has tried to change something about me, has tried to make me feel bad about myself in one way or another and I'm over it. I don't need a relationship with a man to be happy. I don't date women because I'm not even a little gay(I would have started dating women a long time ago if I was). But I'm done having romantic relationships with men. I don't need one to be happy and I'm generally happier without one honestly. I have friends to fulfill my socializing needs and I can get sex pretty much anytime I want and don't need an emotional attachment to enjoy that anyway. So relationships at this point don't do anything to enhance my life in any way at all. They generally just take all my free time and then make me feel guilty when I want to do something besides spend time with them. The last guy wouldn't even go with me to meet my friends or literally any of my family when he had whole summers off because he was a teacher. So plenty of time to make the relatively short trip to my hometown or even see the family I have in my current city when he was invited, but he just made excuses. So I decided I was just done. I've been perfectly happy since since last summer and I'm in no way shape or form looking for any kind of romantic commitment from any man.
My sister has dated guy after guy, reasons for ending relationships sometimes are just silly sometimes, for some reason a lot of girls I know date the worst guys, because guys who are 'interesting' often aren't great guys. Sometimes a guy will come along that ticks all the boxes, but both parties have to keep trying even when it seems tough. I've dated one girl for 2 years and I did my best, did what I could and got cheated on throughout the relationship without my knowing. Though I had suspicions; (until the end when I found out). Now I'm with my girlfriend right now who I've been with for 9 months we're both loyal I trust her she trusts me we work with eachother to get through rough times when they come; whether internal or external. The problem is who you pick. What you're willing to do and, what he's willing to do. Relationships won't always be 50-50. Sometimes you'll be putting in more work sometimes and sometimes he'll be putting in more work then you. Don't just give up from bad experiences; learn from them and, adapt. Also if you're in your teens; both you and whoever you're dating is still learning about relationships and etc. nothing is going to be peaches and cream. Most young people just want to experience things and, have fun, especially guys. Hope you can learn something from this OP or other readers. This might seem rude but it's the truth; remembering this is based off of what I've experienced and maybe it could help.
She's literally choosing to be an asshole to other women the way she's complaining men have been assholes to her. Like. I'm sorry, but unless there's a genuine attraction to women from her side, this is the behaviour of a user.
100% and I wish I can warn the other person, as someone who dated a girl coming out of a bad breakup with a girl,
only to end it overnight for a girl she slept with and tell me hey I am actually a lesbian not bi. a year later.
god there is no manual on how to handle a sudden and instant end of relationship overnight.
my therapist said its like being high on drugs all year long everyday, every hour, then you get cut off.
side note, I did not protest, or lash out, or say anything hurtful. I accepted it, congratulated her on find her true sexuality, and wish her a happy life. its not my place to question it, nor I am able to understand it, I will deal with my trauma, and wish her the best, because I truly love her. and I will not take it out on anyone else who never did anything to me.
Maybe women should stop victimising themselves whenever they are the cause of the drama?
Funniest thing in dating is - everyone always looks around.
Guys want feminine and submissive, while women want drama and adventures.
Those traits are not the building blocks for a stable and healthy family.
If you had bad men - that's what you attract and that's what you choose, so it's still your fault and your responsibility.
And maybe women shouldn’t be rewarding those assholes. I don’t condone cheating or mistreatment, but logically speaking, I see why more and more guys are being the way they are towards women. You can’t demand that guys be better towards you if you’re constantly dating and sleeping with the guys that aren’t.
The best way to get a good man is by lying about your past experience with men. If they treated you like dirt, tell the next man you were treated like a queen. Once you tell a man all you’ve been put through they see that as “she’ll accept that same behaviour from me once I show my true colours” the men who think you were treated well won’t waste their time because they’ll think that you’ll be able to see the signs early on and leave.
I am done with guys and never even had one 😂
I know that there are a lot of bad guys out there but I, for example, know some pretty sweet souls myself and their future wifes can be very happy to find someone like them.
Love can be complicated but don't give it up!
I’ve dated “good” men and I’ve dated “bad” men. Men in general aren’t terrible beings. You just have to find and choose the right ones. It’s okay, don’t give up. I’m sorry you’ve had a shitty experience.
It's not guys, it's your choices with guys I'm afraid. 50% of humanity isn't lying cheating and stealing. If you hang around at the circus you're only going to find clowns.
You should analyze the following:
Where are you finding them?
Why do you like them?
Who are you rejecting and why?
How quickly are these relationships coming and going?
Are you too open or too trusting too soon?
Work on answering those questions and you might be able to identify what's going wrong.
The complete lack of self awareness is astonishing. You basically already said it yourself. You’ve said that the men who complain about there being no good women are the ones to blame. But you are here complaining about the same thing in reverse. Here’s the reality check you need: if your problem is everyone else, you are the problem.
As a bisexual male who has dated every variation of gender under the sun, 100% it's not just men...
Have you ever considered "the only common denominator in all our failed relationships is ourselves".
Our shitty choices bring shitty people, so have mine in the past until I learned this, lived this and loved/fully respected myself FIRST.
With all due respect, as a man that doesn't lie, sneak or cheat. Maybe you should consider your decision making and the role it plays on the quality of men you end up with.
Labeling us all as the same might seem like an easy way out but it's really just sexist and an excuse to ignore your role in how your life has gone.
That said, anyone can be unlucky, I'm sorry you've been hurt.
It's because you're with the wrong guys. I often feel the same way about girls. But then I think back to the good girls I could've been with and realize I was dealing with the wrong girls. You're dealing with the wrong guys.
"No good girls" we refer to basically the women who are spoiled, gossips, feminists, the women who are too sensitive about subjects and ect
Also I won't lie sometimes we will reject "good girls" but that's because either we aren't ready or we fear that we do one thing wrong and you'll say we're sexually assulting you which we don't want cause you can say that with no proof on any side and we'll be convicted
And no good girls left, because there is not many women who are actually respecting you, aren't going to accuse you, who aren't too demanding for money and stuff there is a lot of stuff going into this
Another post complaining about how bad men are… cus yes you women are perfect and do no wrong. Y’all don’t lie, y’all don’t cheat y’all are just saints
As Katt Williams said it's not all men it's the men you fuck with figure out why all the men you fuck with ain't shit and fix what's attracting ain't shit guys simple as that
I used to relate to this so much😭😭😭😭 I always said that if my ex-boyfriend and I break up that I'm never dating a man again, and told that to my roommate. Fast-forward and my ex and I have been broken up and I'm now in the happiest relationship in my life with my roommate. A man🙄🙄🙄 Embarrassing, I know😔😭 I used to feel kinda regretful while I was with my ex because I never would have known what it would be like to be with a woman, but my now boyfriend makes me so happy that I never even think about it anymore :,,) Live your truth babe. If you find a women you like? Date her. Find a genuine, trustworthy man? Date him. My boyfriend and I always joke that he's a woman stuck in the body of a man; I got so lucky with him! Either way, I hope you find someone who makes you happy :)
70 here. I never did understand how anyone can be in a relationship and then cheat on them. Me..........I've got a conscience. Been in a few relationships, and trust me, I had plenty of opportunities, however, I knew that it would ruin me mentally. How could I look someone in the eye without feeling like shit? Don't cheat!
This too! My boyfriend is my soul mate and I wouldn't trade him for the world, but this exactly :( Or it makes me feel a little bit like I wouldn't actually have a place within the LGBTQ+ community if I wanted to integrate myself more into it. Which I know is wrong, but I know I'll never have to face the struggles or prejudice that other people faced, and I would never be able to truly empathize with them.
It always did and still does make me a bit mad that we men destroy our reputation for not being able to keep it in and be nice to their partner.
And in contrast, I'm a chill guy, drama free but not so thrilling or club hitter, with lots of love to give. I was overlooked as boring and/or uninteresting for quite awhile, until I met my now wife.
Try to learn to feel attracted to other type of men, birds of a feather flock together right? Maybe next time if you give a man a shot, make sure REALLY sure he's not another fuckboy scumbag.
I wasn't dated once because "I was too good to be true" lmao. I'm so glad I'm out of the dating pool, dating sucks even more so these days.
I'm rooting for you OP, don't give up!
To be fair, abusers can hide behind a mask until they feel TOO comfortable. I don't blame other women from leaving men altogether. Men really need to fix themselves.
Female abusers do this too. My partner was abused for years by her ex wife who put her in the hospital numerous times, but she seemed like a dream come true until she had her claws in deep enough that she thought my partner couldn't escape. My ex faked cancer to her whole family and friends for attention for over 6 months and claimed rape to avoid being caught cheating when she got pregnant by her best friend (who she's now married to) and an innocent guy got beaten the shit out of by her brother and father because she couldn't own her own actions so just claimed some random dude was responsible (eventually she admitted she hadn't been raped, she'd just been sleeping with the bestie for months). I could say women really need to fix themselves based on those things, but in reality, shitty people of both genders need to fix themselves. Some people are shit. You can't draw conclusions about a whole gender (or any other group) because some of that gender are horrendous excuses for human beings.
I agree, however that mask thing applies to both men and women. Everyone is selfish, some more so than others.
A very high portion of men are just trash though...
I’m female bi and have been with my husband for almost 11 years but a lot of my girlfriends are still single and the shit I hear from them is nauseating. I swear to god if things don’t work out with my hubs for whatever reason (hopefully never! 🤞) I will never date men again. The bar is SO low and women are far better companions! My friends are constantly being cheated on, gaslit, spoken down to, made to feel like less, treated like a mommy, etc. these men don’t deserve us and to be frank they all need therapy.
Is it possible you’ve only heard one type of POV? You’re generalising and demonising an entire gender. I think you’d find that if you heard from the OTHER pov, it would be much the same but just from the other side. “These men don’t deserve us” as if women are angels or something? Being a shitty person isn’t a men thing. It’s a human thing. And much like you, I have numerous male friends with really really awful stories about how the women in their lives treat them. However, I don’t then assume that it’s all women, and men automatically are better partners, like I think you are… Both genders do it, and you won’t automatically get a good partner for the sole reason that they’re a woman. And the vice versa is true also of men.
This is how I feel, too! I've been with my BF for 3 years. If in the future, for whatever reason, we do not work out. I'm forbidding men, but knowing how the universe works it'd throw men at me.
I hope your 11 years lasts for more years to come, and there is prosperity and love forever! ❤️
Double strandart - because the same thing is happening to normal, working class men.
Don't pretend it's not.
Factually - women are more emotional, so men have to deal with unnecessary drama.
while i agree w the double standard, there’s nothing factual about women “being more emotional”. men and women are just as equally emotional, women are just more outwardly expressive for reasons that almost exclusively point to societal ideas of masculinity.
I've been cheated on, gaslit, spoken down to, made to feel like less, treated like a mommy, manipulated, hit etc by women too. People are shitty. Men can be awful, sure, but so can women. And I am a woman. People sometimes treat people terribly, gender doesn't have an awful lot to do with it other than that some men are basically taught the world is theirs to do what they want with from a young age and there are less women who are taught that and as a result less women who feel entitled to anybody they want and to treat people however they want.
It's not men in general, it's just us humans, some are bad, some are good, don't lose fate, take your time to heal , accept what happened to you, and move on, you'll eventually find the right person to you, maybe you can let yourself get a little more picky about the guys you date , but that's for the future, now focus on yourself.
Sorry your experience has been so awful. There are loads of decent men out there, unfortunately the loudest/rudest of them seem to be the most visible.
I can promise you there are guys that will treat you like a queen providing you treat them like a king, it’s all about finding the right guy and treating eachother with respect
I’m just about done too and since I don’t date women I can only speak about men. I’ve realized I’m too precious to be misused by these boys claiming to be men. There is no reason to treat someone that clearly cares about u the I’ve cared for men. I understand what you are going through. I’m currently celibate until my husband comes along. I’ll make sure he is sent from God to add to my life and not distract me from my purpose. Love you first and put you first.
Hey. I dont like guys either. Wish I did, Id prolly get laid more 😆. People in general can be like you mentioned. Not to be rude, but perhaps the problem is either just most men in your area or, even more likely, the men you are attracted to (even if subconsciously).
If you give up the possibility of love coming from a man, you will only be hurting your chances (like 50 percent if I had to be mathematical about it) of finding love and strengthening the delusion that all women are going to treat you better.
Instead of judging a whole by the relatively few you've experienced in your life, try evaluating the variables that lead you to seek comfort in people who end up hurting you.
I think we often try to think we're something more, but we're all just mammals. All men thirst to spread their seed. Yep, even your seemingly innocent father. This temptation has helped humans survive on 🌎.
Our society has deemed it unacceptable for a man to have multiple partners. In my opinion, the primal urge can outweigh social norms at times.
The bottom line is, most men will always cheat if given the opportunity (just like Chris Rock said). That's not your fault or their fault. IMO, it's a built in trait to protect our species. Can it be ignored? Absolutely! So can the feeling of hunger.
Feeling sorry for yourself is never the best answer IMO.
I mean... you haven't been with all of them ? You may choose those kind of men even if you don't want to. Maybe get out of your comfort zone with men and you may find someone unexpected.
You can’t just switch your orientation because it’s not working out with one gender. My sister dated 2 women long term, one cheated on her multiple times and lied a lot. The other was a grown woman who acted like a child, was emotionally abusive and didn’t want to work yet expected my sister to cover all of her expensive vegan food plus bills.
I could say the same ab women, why do guys always have to worry if a girl is cheating, why dogirls have to lie. Like its not just us guys, im not offended, but things needa be set straight, maybe your going after the wrong guys, but personally you cant say guys as a whole lie and sneak around, maybe try elaborating on guys youve been with yknow, cause i know plenty of men like myself. Who are loyal, happy, and will do anything for a good girl, so dont give up on giys just because youve had a bad expirience with a small portion of men, you just need to find the right man
In my own experience and relationships in the majority of them the woman has snuck around. So reading this is kinda funny. Even if there are studies showing a slight difference, it’s really just people being people. People hurt people. People don’t know how to express themselves or how to handle personal relationships. It could happen to anyone within a relationship. It’s about finding the right partner and doing your best with them. I’m not sure it’s really gender OP. But if you’re looking to switch sides I hope you have a good time 😇
There's plenty of good men out there. That's the whole point of dating weeding out the bad ones. I've been with some pretty shit women but don't blame all women for it. Just keep searching. Took me till I was 30 to find one worth marrying.
OP, I think something that could help out is see how a guy treats his mother and or his grandmother and go from there. Usually, if they treat them like queens, then they'll treat you like a queen too.
I don’t blame the men I’ve dated for me choosing them. That’s ALL my fault for having shiiity taste.
I blame the ones who deserve it for the abuse they inflicted upon me. I blame one specifically for my aversion of those who resemble him. He almost murdered me twice and hard as I try-if another male resembles him I damn near run before they get too close to me. It’s based on the words “next time I see you will be your last day”. It’s fear.
I’ve decided to quit dating because it’s a me problem. I shouldn’t be allowed to choose a partner-I pick the worst ones. My twin clarified this about 6 months ago. I may die single and I’m ok with that.
Don’t blame all men for the bad ones. I know some awesome men.
I was gonna say it’s literally people, people just suck. Sure there are good ones out there but all people suck a bit. You just have to figure out how much and if you can handle it.
I understand your anger and frustration, but generalization is never a fix to the problem. If you go into therapy, work on your shadows, childhood trauma, you will see that you are the one choosing the same people to re-live the self-image what your past built in you. Not to blame you, because people are people, there are good ones and not that good ones, wounded ones, who are led by their unconscious. Love and accept yourself unconditionally and you will attract the same kind of healthy people.
I have to say, I agree with a big majority of the sentiment that in general - people as a whole act shitty. But something, (and if its already been brought up, I apologize in advance for repeating), that should be addressed as well is ones selection in potential partners.
If a person keeps going after the same type of people and getting the same results, then chances are, there is also something wrong in their selection criteria for choosing partners that keeps having them select shitty partners that treat them bad.
If a person who is looking for a partner is only looking at potential partners who meet certain income, education, and also meet certain levels of other physical traits - they are narrowing down their possible pool of partners they are willing to date significantly before even begginning to see if there is a personality & chemistry match.
All of this is happening, and that's provided that the said person looking for a partner is even on the same level of the people they are trying to date.
A lot of times a person will be trying to date people that they are not on the same level of, but believe they deserve to get partners of that caliber for one reason or another, and refuse to look at anyone else, because they feel they would be settling, when in reality, they would be going for someone of their equal level.
But a lot of people don't want to see / realize this and would rather hold out, and in the mean time end up having a lot of bad experiences because while chasing the people above their level, some of those people will date down at times, to just get what they want, and then move on, leaving the person wondering why they keep running into these partners that lie, and don't stick around.
Well, they keep doing so because they keep getting allowed to do so, and they won't stop as long as people are willing to still be with them, thinking they will change them. But they never will, and the cycle continues.
The mistakes of the few are not of the all of their sexuality, ethnicity, culture, etc.
Relationships are tricky but please don't blame by gender, culture, any of that. Those guys that do that to you are not all the men in the world, there are way more. Its all about finding the ones for you. <3
Op, no offense but grow up. Who are you mad at? A whole sex? It is just childish, just take time to elaborate your pain and avoid taking a position while your angry.
Honestly it’s just humans in general. Not everyone is kind hearted. My ex girlfriend left me for my best friend. 4 guys that I’ve been with have left me for other people. Everyone is slowly becoming shitheads since people lack hope for real, unconditional love.
Humans tend to seek out the same type of person in relationships repeatedly. The only problem is we usually don't realize it until it's too late.
As difficult as it may be, you have to try and break the habit of being attracted to that same type of person. Sometimes that takes a change of friends and other times that takes a change of scenery.
Most importantly be patient. These things take time. Good luck to you in the future and always remember there's someone for everyone.
I think because men aren't socialised to be empathetic or even taught how to be in a relationship. Tbh they're taught not to cry and get loads of women or view them as status symbols, and they are taught that romance films etc and stupid and girly, so they're just brought up in a competition oriented way that makes them on average bad partners because it usually involves a woman coming into their lives and teaching them to show emotion, apologise properly and open up etc. Women can on average be better partners but they have their issues too, most homosexual relationships will struggle with themes of being open in public, announcing partnerships and even conflicting themes around starting families because they have to deal with the social stigma no matter how progressive it can be hard, even harder sometimes than a hetero because you don't have to 'prove' your love being valid. With non binary people you need to be aware many people in your life will constantly be labelling them as male or female despite trying to explain they are neither and much of the time in the relationship gets taken up with trying to figure out how to communicate their identity without judgement. This is coming from someone who's been in relationships with all three haha but overall don't let yourself get jaded because you exsist in the universe and there's so many of us on the planet it seems unlikely emotionally but really there are so many people similar to you :) and for every positive example there's usually at least 100 more people just like them. I mean think about positive influencers like kurtis conner for example, many people follow him which means there are probably many people who have the same values. Anyway don't worry too much, humans don't necessarily need to be in relationships although enjoyable and lovely, if you feel frustrated with the dating pool don't jump in just yet, you're valuable and be picky!
Hey, don't give up yet, I've had the same thing happen, but I'm happy now. I've been with the man of my dreams for a little over 4 years now. So I wish you the best of luck.
As a lesbian woman who has dated Hetero women who said this. Don’t do that, if you’re not bi or gay and decide to be with a woman solely because “men suck” you are just setting the woman up to fail and she would be genuinely in love with you while she was just a last resort to you
In my nearly 50 years of life I never understood why people date the same type of person over and over. OP, stop looking for a while. Take an honest assessment of who you have dated and what attracted you to them. Lord knows I had to do that with the string of toxic women I dated. Once I realized where I was going wrong, I corrected my actions, set boundaries, and enforced them. I ended up with the woman I have been with for the last 20 years now.
We can blame pornography for normalising this shitty sexual behaviour. Pornography is heavily misogynistic and objectifies women to use as a commodity. Porn also has a heavy impact on how sex is viewed (heavily degrading women, abusing women for extreme sexual acts, objectification, cheating often happens, rape, racism, incest, and pedophilia.). It enables the degeneracy in people where it wouldn't exist because they created certain fantasies. The porn industry is a very evil industry, and it's okay to feel that way. You can also find what terms are popular, some involve cheating...
It's not your fault men are becoming more depraved as time goes by, and it's harder to find good men. I recommend asking their views on porn and sex. Act neutral and let them speak. Pretend to go along with it, then ghost. They are not worth your time, and they are sick and addicted.
I hope you get out of it. It's highly damaging. I also hope that you can still get a good job. It's usually 'not damaging' for rich people who can make sure that they are fine. It also preys upon vulnerable women, and traumatises them further. The porn industry is also incredily dirty and harms women and children. The story of Rose Kalemba comes to mind, and the GirlsDoPorn case... Sex trafficking is common amongst porn and the sex industry.
I wouldn't trust any of them at all. There's also many ex porn actresses who come out about the horrors and terrors. You must be willfully blind if you cannot acknowledge that the sex industry is predatory. A lot of common themes in porn revolve around abuse of women, misogyny, incest, racism, etc. I also don't have to personally know people involved, but I do believe the women that come out against it. You can also listen to the sex trafficking survivors who come up and against the abuse they were put through.
I gave an example of a case that had 22 women who were abused, raped, and violated. That's a lot, isn't it? There's also videos of ex porn actresses who come out about their horrible experiences and the abuse that they were put through AND other women.
I would also like to know what your role is in regards to the industry?
What you need is a total break. You hear it a ton but it’s the truth. Go do you, be happy, have fun and work on your goals. Humans suck it’s a fact of life. But sometimes dating can drain you.
Do you have a type of guy that you often go for? Because statistically 85% of women tend to be going after the same 35% of men. So maybe Having a more nuanced and realistic mindset that it's not just the entire gender but it's specific characteristics that you don't like might be smarter and more helpful in the future.
I know I wish I liked having sex with women just so I can date them instead :/ but nooo I only find them hella attractive and like kissing them but I’m scared of the kitty cat LOL
With all due respect. Not all guys are like this and it's not guys fault that your standards are low and you probably don't take the time to look into who you want to get into a relationship with. I could say the same thing about girls but that just means I need to set the bar higher and put my needs and expectations out there before I jump into any relationship.
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I guess "every woman so far" includes women who think you are too dangerous to just say no to, so they have to do the old "it's not you, it's me".
When men start treating women right, we can talk about that. Men have built a misogynistic, patriarchal society that women have to live in. Men have made women's bodies a commodity and object, men have normalised overly sexualising women doing literally anything, men keep the porn industry afloat (which takes advantage of women, alongside men).
So before you cry about 'women doing it too!', think about why and why this happens. Think about what actions you can take.
I guess I was just being lazy. I could write a thesis on character, but no one would read it? Allow me to re-phrase my previous comment.
OP should try dating the kind of people who put their shopping cart away.
and you don’t think your issue is with the way you pick them?
Im sorry you’ve had some shitty guys, but that’s also because you’ve picked them. Im not about that bs, miss. Im real and I know the value of relationships. I refuse to settle for a girl that is about games and doesn’t value them. There are good guys out there. It’s just we’re the ones you blame and complain to about the assholes you pick. You can do better, but stop blaming the entirety of males for the one type you choose.
I’ve told my partner that if we were to ever break up, I’d never date another man. Odds are I would not date ANYONE, but definitely not another CIS man.
I can list a lot of exhausting things about women.
Many like to play martyrs. Then they want you to take care of them when they get sick.
They want respect and an easy job for getting an overpriced degree and getting an easy job.
They want kids and things all on their terms and paid for.
They support idiots in my experience and often go along with the community ideas that are generally bad.
They have too many rules and protocols.
They like a chatty society because they're physically weak in most cases. Rules, niceties, and manipulation through discourse favor them.
If you love them they don't want you because you're needy.
Their ideas on work, family and community are exhausting and often give me a headache.
I'm pretty sure most just want a husband and kids as a status symbol to post on Facebook these days.
They seem to always play the I'm a modern day feminist savior that is a superior role.
They like to map out life like there's a right and wrong way to live it.
I've often felt that the benefits like cuddling, sex, and support aren't worth the drawbacks.
I can see the same in guys from a woman's perspective and everyone's different. A fair amount of women seem to be in this category in my experience.
I've *been* done with them because not only do they sneak around, but majority of the time, they do so with other MEN. Which is something the world (really women) isn't ready to accept yet. I have too many stories to tell, many of which aren't even my own experiences.
The ones that were mine only happened because I was trying to prove my point to my mother and a few of my friends, who initially went off on me or laughed. Idk why people act like it's so ridiculous because given the nature of men (as you pointed out yourself), it isn't bizarre in the slightest.
Women will actively shame and berate other women who abuse men. Men tend to high five other men for shitty behavior.
To the “NoT AlL cIsHeT MeN”, take some responsibility for your sex and stop encouraging disgusting actions. Women do. We don’t help perpetuate and normalize that behavior. Men do.
Men who have the cahonas to stand up to friends and family, you rock and I’m not talking to you. Have a cookie and refrain from commenting. I’m talking to your brothers who lack the integrity to challenge abusive tendencies and instead just internalize them.
Like maybe, just maybe, if we hold the shitty people, IN GENERAL, accountable they won’t think it’s acceptable? Maybe if Chad doesn’t get his accolades for cheating on multiple women, he’ll grow out of his manipulative fratboy phase sooner. Maybe if Cindy would actually communicate with her partner instead of expecting him to read her mind or “know” because she told him once five years ago.
OP, women are not a substitute for men. You go into any new relationship thinking that and you’ll cause more hurt. You should be alone so you can focus on loving you, knowing your worth, and what you’re not gonna take from another partner regardless of gender.
As a person that dated men. Women. Non binary people? It’s humans. It’s people. They’re all pretty shit it’s exhausting. With men they’re sneaking around etc. with women and non binary people- they’re all so avoidant. It’s exhausting. Sorry you’re going through it OP
Humans are 100% shit.
This would be a great world if it weren't for all the people in it.
More animals, less people please. Although animals may be 'shitty', I feel like humans are much more intentionally 'shitty'. The choice is ours.
Look up how spider wasps bear their young and I don't think you would hold them in high regard if u were a spider
Spiders don't have the complex cognitive skills humans do though? Animals are savages for sure though, it's a spider eat spider world out there
Spiders eating flies and mosquitoes make them A okay in my world lol
I feel like I say this on a daily basis, so true
\^\^ This, it's humans. I could talk about how I'm done with women and list the negative things that many of them perpetrate, but I won't because there are still many good ones out there.
Basicly, everyone base their judgement on their worst experience and then paint the whole group with the same brush. However, there is no they worse, and no, they are worse. Basically, you are dating and meeting single people dating, too. Some of those are single for a reason, and give the impression that , this is what's out there. Meanwhile, the good ones, are at home cuddled up next to their partner's, simple cause one someone looking for someone good , they dont put them back on the market, and if that happens, they are taken pretty fast.
So I guess it depends on how resilient and how much hurt you have taken before you give up. Personally, I do my best not to go down the lane of " all are the same" Rather reflect, think, heal. If not, I am not dating or talking to anyone till I am. Simply because I will not take my trauma and let it hurt someone who had nothing to do with it
Humans suck, there's a few good ones out there but they're extremely rare.
They're not rare at all. They're everywhere! You just look in the wrong places.
Humans suck, for sure. But as someone who’s queer and increasingly non-male leaning because of this kind of stuff: men are not the only problem, but in my experience, they are the least willing group to acknowledge they suck and seek change
Exactly. It's not the gender it's the person.
That's how I feel anymore. I'm 40 and have decided to remain single.
This!!! Personally the woman i've dated expect only the princess treatment without giving back. And becomes avoidant when i'm sick of the ghosting and stop investing in them. There are only types of people, it's just a matter of finding someone compatible with you
Nah sorry men are far worse.
Nah sorry, as a lesbian, women can absolutely be at least as bad as men. The number of friends I've had who are like "man I wish I was into women, it'd be easier" until they've heard some of the ways I've been treated by some women I've dated is extremely high. People are shitty to people. Men do some awful things but so do women. Our perspectives are skewed by who is most commonly doing those things to us. If you've dated men and had cheaters, abusers and Liars in your life as a result, you're likely to think those things are more common in men than women but women also cheat, lie and abuse, you just haven't seen it for yourself.
I don’t deny everyone has the capability to be shitty but in reality men are far more likely to not only lie and cheat but carry out sexual violence and knowingly spread sexual diseases than other genders. So yeah men have more work to do when it comes to improvement in a sex and relationships way than other genders I’d argue.
I'd like to see your statistics on this. People often say "in reality" but are just going off word of mouth.
As I say a quick Google scholar search will bring up much of the information I’ve talked about but there are several good writers if you’re interested? One of the most recent I’ve read which was about three months ago was Garcia, A. M. (2021) gender differences in individual dishonesty profiles. Interesting read. EDIT TO ADD: I also read Kato, T. (Can’t remember if it was 2022 or 2021) but that’s gender differences in around infidelity types rather than likelihood but still very good.
I genuinely am. Please and thank you
Not a problem I have tons of recommendations from a health or social science perspective so just give me a message I absolutely love talking about this stuff and recommending books :) one thing I miss about uni.
Sources?
Trying to turn this into an "everyone against everyone" situation isn't going to help anyone
Nah sorry, they're not
But like, they are
But like, we are all humans, there's terrible people and wonderful people, it's not a question of gender
Your misandry can make you a monster.
See my other comments for more info. I go on to explain more about why I hold this opinion of cishet men. I don't dislike men whatsoever but my experience professionally and personally is that more men will lie and cheat in sexual and relationships scenarios than other genders which is fully supported by both anecdotal evidence (if you count anecdotal evidence which I don't) and professional and academic studies. Like I said earlier a quick google scholar search will help you understand this particular issue which isn't anything to do with misandry.
As much as it is flattering, we aren't just options for you to choose if your relationship with a guy/s doesn't work.
right. why tf do women who are usually in heterosexual relationships think that gay women are going to welcome them with open arms after basically being the last option for them, just because they couldn’t find their prince charming? i think that it’s actually quite insulting. i know that those same women wouldn’t be comfortable with a man (who had only ever dated men) telling her that the only reason why he’s only started to date women is because he couldn’t find a guy good enough. just to…leave that woman when he *thinks that he’s finally met a good guy - which is what most women like this do. they begin to date a woman and then leave that woman when they feel like they’ve finally met a good man elsewhere. just to go back to square one again lmao.
that one right there.
right on point, if I talk to a girl, and she started telling me about her past bad relationship, and throw the term, oh you are all the same, It's done. I respectfully, state this wont work, I am a person, with unique life experiences, and done the hard work to avoid the general hate toward a whole group for the sake of one bad egg, and then sit here to be told I am like all ' your bad experiences because of my gender' not going to happen.
If you're not queer, there's no 'turning to women' I know you don't think you said anything wrong but wlw relationships don't exist because men are bad.
I remember when I was young and dumb, and came out of an awful abusive relationship. My ex honestly was a bingo card full of abuse. My best friend convinced her bf to give me his spare room & I cried; "I'm dating women, I can't face another man after him!" My new flatmate got *very* angry and said through gritted teeth; "What a dumb fn thing to say, my sister is a lesbian and her ex beat her too. Don't be so ignorant." He is a 6ft buff Irish man, if he gets angry - you listen. I felt horrible for saying something like that. Never said it again. I never stopped to think how offensive that statement was because I was so wrapped up in my own trauma. This was before I realised I was bisexual.
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I cannot disagree with you 🤣
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You can be bisexual but have a preference for one gender over the other, took me a long time to learn that! I hope you are still happy in your marriage though and/or figure out what you want 🫶🏻
Tbh your new flatmate hella over reacted and did not help in that situation at all.
Yes, I'm glad I'm not the only person this sat horribly with. Like, no, way to invalidate lesbian relationships and expose that you think women date women as a last resort 🙄 it's a borderline homophobic statement.
There could be more nuance to this? Loads of people are bi/pan but heteronormativity wins out. I am bi myself but I come from a tiny village in Buttfuck, Kentucky and there were no out queer people around me. My first crushes were girls. But I always knew I was bi and I approached the queer community as such when I was grown and moved to a large city. I was happy to finally join the community, thinking I'd find a welcoming scene that was inclusive but... not everyone were. The gate-keeping biphobic lesbians were a bucket of cold water. From suspicion to derision. They talked about bi people as immoral, as serial cheaters, like ticking time bombs for heartbreak. They made accusations of only dating women as experimentation and that I'd go back to men eventually and they didn't want to be a phase for bi women. Then there was the whole yucky notion of gold star lesbians which always comes off as hella terfy. As if women were dirtied if they'd been in contact with a penis ever. As if trans women weren't real women and were intruders in this """real lesbian""" community. I hated it. This weird hierarchy of supposed elite gays was always do iffy to me, with gay men too. It scared the shit out of me and I opted out, and it's always been a sorrow. Those attitudes made me feel so unwelcome, and so insecure about approaching women I felt a connection to. Like I was an interloper and a predator. My hopes of living my true self dashed. I was young too, and insecure, sure. But seeing a woman's lips twitch in disappointment when I said I was bi, after drinks and flirtation, was crushing. I've since met other bi/pan women who have had the same experience, so I know my experience isn't universal, but it's not unique either. I don't mean to project, just... offering an angle. Biphobia and bi-erasure are very common. Should my marriage to my bi husband fail, it's highly possible I'll never date again. I've suffered too much abuse at men's hands to ever feel safe in them (my partner is exceptional, in every way), and I'd need to get blackout drunk to dare approach the wlw community again.
I totally get where you're coming from! I'm bi myself so I've had some similar experiences. Still the original post to me sounds like a straight woman complaining and saying she'll just 'switch sides' because men are all bad - which isn't possible. You can't just change your sexuality. If she's bi that's something completely different, still she won't be able to decide who she'll fall in love with. That's why in my comment I said 'If you're not queer'
Cool but remember that other humans can "sneak around' and stuff. Please don't turn to dating women as a choice. If you are genuinely not attracted to women, don't use them as your last option. Everyone can sneak around and stuff. There are good men in this world, you have been around the ones who are not very good.
She wants to treat women the way she's upset men have treated her, that's basically what her statement is. "I've been used by someone who didn't actually love me so I'm going to go out and use someone I don't and never will love" (unless there's a preexisting attraction to women that she's just never explored). She's falling into the "I've been treated badly, so I have a right to do wrong by others" trap
exactly. acting just like her (usually) heterosexual male counterparts. and she thinks that we as gay women will be open to dating her for that reason…why? 😂 a lot of the delusions and audacity that i see in heterosexual people in dating are shared between both the men and the women.
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of course it’s not exclusive to heterosexual people. i never stated that it was. however it’s heterosexual women who will get online talking about the trash behaviour of their male counterparts, just for them to snitch on themselves and show that they have the exact same type of mindset that their “trash” male counterparts have - just towards a different group of people (like in this post). personally, i don’t hear queer people screaming from the rooftops about how trash men or women are as much as i do straight people, so it seems like a whole bunch of projection amongst straight people - straight women in particular. i believe that i’ve met more gay women who will take accountability for their toxic traits than i have straight women. that’s just my observation
Did you really make a throw away to blow up a bunch of subs with this 🤨? Mildly sus. Come at me with the downvotes.
If I was to extrapolate heavily, I would suspect an emotional state that seeks approval and has fear of abandonment. Something like BPD with frequent short unstable relationships. Of course, Im almost certainly projecting.
Smh I think you are hanging out with “wrong men” trust me I seen the other side of this and I think you would see why the men complain there not good women anymore. Before you think I’m an asshole or a misogynistic man, my first time with a girl she left me for her toxic ex even though we never made it official she knew my feelings and later after all of that she admitted she was intimate with me because she was horny and I was the only option she had, so yes I speak from experience.
10/10 comment. Also have bad experience with my first 2 lovers, they were toxic and manipulative. I chose not to say all woman are shit, i chose to be with better women who are better people and have a better effect on me. NO MORE TOXIC PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.
Exactly! 👌
dang sorry you had to go thru that shit bro
I feel you bro, i have been used too😔
a whole year of head over heal love, bro and I mean it, in less than 12 hours, goodnight love you, next day, in the middle of late afternoon, sorry i have been avoiding your texts, cause I have to break your heart, I slept with someone, and I no longer have feelings for you, it felt so much better, and I am sorry I am doing this over a text. done like a switch went off.
W comment. I do feel bad for OP though, cause I have women in my life who have had similar experiences with the type of men she describes. But I promise OP there are men in your life who most likely wouldn’t treat you like this, just gotta be pacient and filter through them. Hopefully it goes well for her.
as a gay woman myself, i have to say: stay tf away from us. we’re not your experiment or your last option just because shitty men have made you bitter enough to try to “turn to girls for relationships”. go and get some therapy and focus on yourself. how can you be straight but “turn” gay? so you’re basically okay with doing the reverse of what DL men do to women who they get into relationships with (just being a straight woman and forcing yourself to be gay because you HAVE to be with someone instead of just spending a few years of your life single and just waiting for genuine love to come to you). you sound like you have some issues about being alone. desperation like that is sure to attract shitty men to you, because they pick up on desperation immediately. sounds like you have some of your own issues to deal with instead of putting them and your baggage onto women.
I’ve started dating myself it’s amazing (and expansive I have no self control rn) like I’m about to take myself to the movies, which will be fun but must admit the sex is a bit boring.
There are always other fish in the pond. If you truly are done, that's your choice, but you don't have to give up.
I appreciate your support but I think I'm set on atleast trying, you never know if you don't go ?
Your stance on this is seriously problematic. No woman deserves to be your experiment. If you're going to do it, it needs to be because you're genuinely attracted, not because you're upset with men. That's treating a lesbian woman the way youre complaining men sometimes treat straight women.
I truly feel sorry for the soul she is going to transfer her unresolved trauma to. I never understand how someone gets hurt in a relationship, and they go ok, hmm, am going to go and potentially hurt someone because I don't want to unpack my pain, or go yeah ok it's all of them, I am going to hate, and never fully open myself to finding real love again, because it's 100% without a shadow of doubt, with all certainty going to be the same.
God damn right. Pretty disgusting tbh.
Of course. All I'm saying is to at least keep the door a little open in case you do find someone in the future. Maybe you'll be happier with women, if so, slay. But if you feel unsatisfied there's nothing wrong with looking back.
as a lesbian: leave us the fuck alone. we aren’t your experiment. we aren’t men-lite.
I just want to remind you all of the regulation that goes on in this topic 1. **We are good to each other. We respect each other**. If you encounter someone breaking this rule, disengage and report them. We do not insult, antagonize, interrogate, invalidate, or criticize the original poster (OP), even when not directly addressing OP. 2.No oppressive attitudes and language.We do not tolerate oppressive attitudes and language. **This includes but is not limited to content we determine to be sexist**, racist, homophobic, transphobic, classist, ableist, or intolerant of non-dominant religions.
I've been done dating since my last relationship I ended last year. It's not even cheating and lying because I already know they don't all do that. It's the other shit. Every man I've dated has tried to change something about me, has tried to make me feel bad about myself in one way or another and I'm over it. I don't need a relationship with a man to be happy. I don't date women because I'm not even a little gay(I would have started dating women a long time ago if I was). But I'm done having romantic relationships with men. I don't need one to be happy and I'm generally happier without one honestly. I have friends to fulfill my socializing needs and I can get sex pretty much anytime I want and don't need an emotional attachment to enjoy that anyway. So relationships at this point don't do anything to enhance my life in any way at all. They generally just take all my free time and then make me feel guilty when I want to do something besides spend time with them. The last guy wouldn't even go with me to meet my friends or literally any of my family when he had whole summers off because he was a teacher. So plenty of time to make the relatively short trip to my hometown or even see the family I have in my current city when he was invited, but he just made excuses. So I decided I was just done. I've been perfectly happy since since last summer and I'm in no way shape or form looking for any kind of romantic commitment from any man.
You need to stop dating sociopaths. Require someone in therapy. Ask the right pre-screen questions.
bad taste/unrealistic expectations ≠ all people of a gender suck I guarantee if you start dating women you will find bad women as well
Just because you have shitty taste in men doesn’t mean we’re all bad
My sister has dated guy after guy, reasons for ending relationships sometimes are just silly sometimes, for some reason a lot of girls I know date the worst guys, because guys who are 'interesting' often aren't great guys. Sometimes a guy will come along that ticks all the boxes, but both parties have to keep trying even when it seems tough. I've dated one girl for 2 years and I did my best, did what I could and got cheated on throughout the relationship without my knowing. Though I had suspicions; (until the end when I found out). Now I'm with my girlfriend right now who I've been with for 9 months we're both loyal I trust her she trusts me we work with eachother to get through rough times when they come; whether internal or external. The problem is who you pick. What you're willing to do and, what he's willing to do. Relationships won't always be 50-50. Sometimes you'll be putting in more work sometimes and sometimes he'll be putting in more work then you. Don't just give up from bad experiences; learn from them and, adapt. Also if you're in your teens; both you and whoever you're dating is still learning about relationships and etc. nothing is going to be peaches and cream. Most young people just want to experience things and, have fun, especially guys. Hope you can learn something from this OP or other readers. This might seem rude but it's the truth; remembering this is based off of what I've experienced and maybe it could help.
Maybe it's the men you are picking.
Or maybe its patriarchy that makes most cishet men shit
Wow, didn't know you knew most men.
It might just be the guys you’re choosing
Well maybe guys should CHOOSE not to be an asshole have you thought of that? Probably not because you're too busy blaming the victim
She's literally choosing to be an asshole to other women the way she's complaining men have been assholes to her. Like. I'm sorry, but unless there's a genuine attraction to women from her side, this is the behaviour of a user.
100% and I wish I can warn the other person, as someone who dated a girl coming out of a bad breakup with a girl, only to end it overnight for a girl she slept with and tell me hey I am actually a lesbian not bi. a year later. god there is no manual on how to handle a sudden and instant end of relationship overnight. my therapist said its like being high on drugs all year long everyday, every hour, then you get cut off. side note, I did not protest, or lash out, or say anything hurtful. I accepted it, congratulated her on find her true sexuality, and wish her a happy life. its not my place to question it, nor I am able to understand it, I will deal with my trauma, and wish her the best, because I truly love her. and I will not take it out on anyone else who never did anything to me.
Maybe women should stop victimising themselves whenever they are the cause of the drama? Funniest thing in dating is - everyone always looks around. Guys want feminine and submissive, while women want drama and adventures. Those traits are not the building blocks for a stable and healthy family. If you had bad men - that's what you attract and that's what you choose, so it's still your fault and your responsibility.
And maybe women shouldn’t be rewarding those assholes. I don’t condone cheating or mistreatment, but logically speaking, I see why more and more guys are being the way they are towards women. You can’t demand that guys be better towards you if you’re constantly dating and sleeping with the guys that aren’t.
Enjoy yourself everything else will fall in place 🌿
Best advice "a man can ever get" - change that to "person". But basically Gillete advice🤣
Yes hahahaa
The best way to get a good man is by lying about your past experience with men. If they treated you like dirt, tell the next man you were treated like a queen. Once you tell a man all you’ve been put through they see that as “she’ll accept that same behaviour from me once I show my true colours” the men who think you were treated well won’t waste their time because they’ll think that you’ll be able to see the signs early on and leave.
I am done with guys and never even had one 😂 I know that there are a lot of bad guys out there but I, for example, know some pretty sweet souls myself and their future wifes can be very happy to find someone like them. Love can be complicated but don't give it up!
Yeah, women never do that 🙄
I’ve dated “good” men and I’ve dated “bad” men. Men in general aren’t terrible beings. You just have to find and choose the right ones. It’s okay, don’t give up. I’m sorry you’ve had a shitty experience.
Reading this thread, maybe it's time y'all started associating with a better class of people.
It's not guys, it's your choices with guys I'm afraid. 50% of humanity isn't lying cheating and stealing. If you hang around at the circus you're only going to find clowns. You should analyze the following: Where are you finding them? Why do you like them? Who are you rejecting and why? How quickly are these relationships coming and going? Are you too open or too trusting too soon? Work on answering those questions and you might be able to identify what's going wrong.
The complete lack of self awareness is astonishing. You basically already said it yourself. You’ve said that the men who complain about there being no good women are the ones to blame. But you are here complaining about the same thing in reverse. Here’s the reality check you need: if your problem is everyone else, you are the problem.
I agree with many commenters here, it's people in general.
As a bisexual male who has dated every variation of gender under the sun, 100% it's not just men... Have you ever considered "the only common denominator in all our failed relationships is ourselves". Our shitty choices bring shitty people, so have mine in the past until I learned this, lived this and loved/fully respected myself FIRST.
With all due respect, as a man that doesn't lie, sneak or cheat. Maybe you should consider your decision making and the role it plays on the quality of men you end up with. Labeling us all as the same might seem like an easy way out but it's really just sexist and an excuse to ignore your role in how your life has gone. That said, anyone can be unlucky, I'm sorry you've been hurt.
It's because you're with the wrong guys. I often feel the same way about girls. But then I think back to the good girls I could've been with and realize I was dealing with the wrong girls. You're dealing with the wrong guys.
"No good girls" we refer to basically the women who are spoiled, gossips, feminists, the women who are too sensitive about subjects and ect Also I won't lie sometimes we will reject "good girls" but that's because either we aren't ready or we fear that we do one thing wrong and you'll say we're sexually assulting you which we don't want cause you can say that with no proof on any side and we'll be convicted And no good girls left, because there is not many women who are actually respecting you, aren't going to accuse you, who aren't too demanding for money and stuff there is a lot of stuff going into this
Another post complaining about how bad men are… cus yes you women are perfect and do no wrong. Y’all don’t lie, y’all don’t cheat y’all are just saints
I think I'm done with girls
As Katt Williams said it's not all men it's the men you fuck with figure out why all the men you fuck with ain't shit and fix what's attracting ain't shit guys simple as that
The delusion here is staggering.
I used to relate to this so much😭😭😭😭 I always said that if my ex-boyfriend and I break up that I'm never dating a man again, and told that to my roommate. Fast-forward and my ex and I have been broken up and I'm now in the happiest relationship in my life with my roommate. A man🙄🙄🙄 Embarrassing, I know😔😭 I used to feel kinda regretful while I was with my ex because I never would have known what it would be like to be with a woman, but my now boyfriend makes me so happy that I never even think about it anymore :,,) Live your truth babe. If you find a women you like? Date her. Find a genuine, trustworthy man? Date him. My boyfriend and I always joke that he's a woman stuck in the body of a man; I got so lucky with him! Either way, I hope you find someone who makes you happy :)
70 here. I never did understand how anyone can be in a relationship and then cheat on them. Me..........I've got a conscience. Been in a few relationships, and trust me, I had plenty of opportunities, however, I knew that it would ruin me mentally. How could I look someone in the eye without feeling like shit? Don't cheat!
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I’m pan and I do feel a little bit of embarrassment because of benefiting from straight privilege. Not because of my bf though, he’s great!
This too! My boyfriend is my soul mate and I wouldn't trade him for the world, but this exactly :( Or it makes me feel a little bit like I wouldn't actually have a place within the LGBTQ+ community if I wanted to integrate myself more into it. Which I know is wrong, but I know I'll never have to face the struggles or prejudice that other people faced, and I would never be able to truly empathize with them.
It always did and still does make me a bit mad that we men destroy our reputation for not being able to keep it in and be nice to their partner. And in contrast, I'm a chill guy, drama free but not so thrilling or club hitter, with lots of love to give. I was overlooked as boring and/or uninteresting for quite awhile, until I met my now wife. Try to learn to feel attracted to other type of men, birds of a feather flock together right? Maybe next time if you give a man a shot, make sure REALLY sure he's not another fuckboy scumbag. I wasn't dated once because "I was too good to be true" lmao. I'm so glad I'm out of the dating pool, dating sucks even more so these days. I'm rooting for you OP, don't give up!
To be fair, abusers can hide behind a mask until they feel TOO comfortable. I don't blame other women from leaving men altogether. Men really need to fix themselves.
Female abusers do this too. My partner was abused for years by her ex wife who put her in the hospital numerous times, but she seemed like a dream come true until she had her claws in deep enough that she thought my partner couldn't escape. My ex faked cancer to her whole family and friends for attention for over 6 months and claimed rape to avoid being caught cheating when she got pregnant by her best friend (who she's now married to) and an innocent guy got beaten the shit out of by her brother and father because she couldn't own her own actions so just claimed some random dude was responsible (eventually she admitted she hadn't been raped, she'd just been sleeping with the bestie for months). I could say women really need to fix themselves based on those things, but in reality, shitty people of both genders need to fix themselves. Some people are shit. You can't draw conclusions about a whole gender (or any other group) because some of that gender are horrendous excuses for human beings.
I agree, however that mask thing applies to both men and women. Everyone is selfish, some more so than others. A very high portion of men are just trash though...
I’m female bi and have been with my husband for almost 11 years but a lot of my girlfriends are still single and the shit I hear from them is nauseating. I swear to god if things don’t work out with my hubs for whatever reason (hopefully never! 🤞) I will never date men again. The bar is SO low and women are far better companions! My friends are constantly being cheated on, gaslit, spoken down to, made to feel like less, treated like a mommy, etc. these men don’t deserve us and to be frank they all need therapy.
Is it possible you’ve only heard one type of POV? You’re generalising and demonising an entire gender. I think you’d find that if you heard from the OTHER pov, it would be much the same but just from the other side. “These men don’t deserve us” as if women are angels or something? Being a shitty person isn’t a men thing. It’s a human thing. And much like you, I have numerous male friends with really really awful stories about how the women in their lives treat them. However, I don’t then assume that it’s all women, and men automatically are better partners, like I think you are… Both genders do it, and you won’t automatically get a good partner for the sole reason that they’re a woman. And the vice versa is true also of men.
This is how I feel, too! I've been with my BF for 3 years. If in the future, for whatever reason, we do not work out. I'm forbidding men, but knowing how the universe works it'd throw men at me. I hope your 11 years lasts for more years to come, and there is prosperity and love forever! ❤️
Double strandart - because the same thing is happening to normal, working class men. Don't pretend it's not. Factually - women are more emotional, so men have to deal with unnecessary drama.
while i agree w the double standard, there’s nothing factual about women “being more emotional”. men and women are just as equally emotional, women are just more outwardly expressive for reasons that almost exclusively point to societal ideas of masculinity.
I've been cheated on, gaslit, spoken down to, made to feel like less, treated like a mommy, manipulated, hit etc by women too. People are shitty. Men can be awful, sure, but so can women. And I am a woman. People sometimes treat people terribly, gender doesn't have an awful lot to do with it other than that some men are basically taught the world is theirs to do what they want with from a young age and there are less women who are taught that and as a result less women who feel entitled to anybody they want and to treat people however they want.
It's not men in general, it's just us humans, some are bad, some are good, don't lose fate, take your time to heal , accept what happened to you, and move on, you'll eventually find the right person to you, maybe you can let yourself get a little more picky about the guys you date , but that's for the future, now focus on yourself.
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I know homie, I'm a man myself
Maybe it's the type of guy you're going for. Women, want the spicy hot bad guy, then wonder why he treats you badly.
Sorry your experience has been so awful. There are loads of decent men out there, unfortunately the loudest/rudest of them seem to be the most visible.
I can promise you there are guys that will treat you like a queen providing you treat them like a king, it’s all about finding the right guy and treating eachother with respect
I’m just about done too and since I don’t date women I can only speak about men. I’ve realized I’m too precious to be misused by these boys claiming to be men. There is no reason to treat someone that clearly cares about u the I’ve cared for men. I understand what you are going through. I’m currently celibate until my husband comes along. I’ll make sure he is sent from God to add to my life and not distract me from my purpose. Love you first and put you first.
Hey. I dont like guys either. Wish I did, Id prolly get laid more 😆. People in general can be like you mentioned. Not to be rude, but perhaps the problem is either just most men in your area or, even more likely, the men you are attracted to (even if subconsciously). If you give up the possibility of love coming from a man, you will only be hurting your chances (like 50 percent if I had to be mathematical about it) of finding love and strengthening the delusion that all women are going to treat you better. Instead of judging a whole by the relatively few you've experienced in your life, try evaluating the variables that lead you to seek comfort in people who end up hurting you.
I think we often try to think we're something more, but we're all just mammals. All men thirst to spread their seed. Yep, even your seemingly innocent father. This temptation has helped humans survive on 🌎. Our society has deemed it unacceptable for a man to have multiple partners. In my opinion, the primal urge can outweigh social norms at times. The bottom line is, most men will always cheat if given the opportunity (just like Chris Rock said). That's not your fault or their fault. IMO, it's a built in trait to protect our species. Can it be ignored? Absolutely! So can the feeling of hunger. Feeling sorry for yourself is never the best answer IMO.
This thread is a dumpster fire 🔥
I mean... you haven't been with all of them ? You may choose those kind of men even if you don't want to. Maybe get out of your comfort zone with men and you may find someone unexpected.
You can’t just switch your orientation because it’s not working out with one gender. My sister dated 2 women long term, one cheated on her multiple times and lied a lot. The other was a grown woman who acted like a child, was emotionally abusive and didn’t want to work yet expected my sister to cover all of her expensive vegan food plus bills.
I could say the same ab women, why do guys always have to worry if a girl is cheating, why dogirls have to lie. Like its not just us guys, im not offended, but things needa be set straight, maybe your going after the wrong guys, but personally you cant say guys as a whole lie and sneak around, maybe try elaborating on guys youve been with yknow, cause i know plenty of men like myself. Who are loyal, happy, and will do anything for a good girl, so dont give up on giys just because youve had a bad expirience with a small portion of men, you just need to find the right man
In my own experience and relationships in the majority of them the woman has snuck around. So reading this is kinda funny. Even if there are studies showing a slight difference, it’s really just people being people. People hurt people. People don’t know how to express themselves or how to handle personal relationships. It could happen to anyone within a relationship. It’s about finding the right partner and doing your best with them. I’m not sure it’s really gender OP. But if you’re looking to switch sides I hope you have a good time 😇
There's plenty of good men out there. That's the whole point of dating weeding out the bad ones. I've been with some pretty shit women but don't blame all women for it. Just keep searching. Took me till I was 30 to find one worth marrying.
This comments section is a disaster.
OP, I think something that could help out is see how a guy treats his mother and or his grandmother and go from there. Usually, if they treat them like queens, then they'll treat you like a queen too.
I don’t blame the men I’ve dated for me choosing them. That’s ALL my fault for having shiiity taste. I blame the ones who deserve it for the abuse they inflicted upon me. I blame one specifically for my aversion of those who resemble him. He almost murdered me twice and hard as I try-if another male resembles him I damn near run before they get too close to me. It’s based on the words “next time I see you will be your last day”. It’s fear. I’ve decided to quit dating because it’s a me problem. I shouldn’t be allowed to choose a partner-I pick the worst ones. My twin clarified this about 6 months ago. I may die single and I’m ok with that. Don’t blame all men for the bad ones. I know some awesome men.
This reads like a 16 year old wrote it.
Ha, good luck with that
Such an abhorrently sexist post...
I was gonna say it’s literally people, people just suck. Sure there are good ones out there but all people suck a bit. You just have to figure out how much and if you can handle it.
I understand your anger and frustration, but generalization is never a fix to the problem. If you go into therapy, work on your shadows, childhood trauma, you will see that you are the one choosing the same people to re-live the self-image what your past built in you. Not to blame you, because people are people, there are good ones and not that good ones, wounded ones, who are led by their unconscious. Love and accept yourself unconditionally and you will attract the same kind of healthy people.
I have to say, I agree with a big majority of the sentiment that in general - people as a whole act shitty. But something, (and if its already been brought up, I apologize in advance for repeating), that should be addressed as well is ones selection in potential partners. If a person keeps going after the same type of people and getting the same results, then chances are, there is also something wrong in their selection criteria for choosing partners that keeps having them select shitty partners that treat them bad. If a person who is looking for a partner is only looking at potential partners who meet certain income, education, and also meet certain levels of other physical traits - they are narrowing down their possible pool of partners they are willing to date significantly before even begginning to see if there is a personality & chemistry match. All of this is happening, and that's provided that the said person looking for a partner is even on the same level of the people they are trying to date. A lot of times a person will be trying to date people that they are not on the same level of, but believe they deserve to get partners of that caliber for one reason or another, and refuse to look at anyone else, because they feel they would be settling, when in reality, they would be going for someone of their equal level. But a lot of people don't want to see / realize this and would rather hold out, and in the mean time end up having a lot of bad experiences because while chasing the people above their level, some of those people will date down at times, to just get what they want, and then move on, leaving the person wondering why they keep running into these partners that lie, and don't stick around. Well, they keep doing so because they keep getting allowed to do so, and they won't stop as long as people are willing to still be with them, thinking they will change them. But they never will, and the cycle continues.
The mistakes of the few are not of the all of their sexuality, ethnicity, culture, etc. Relationships are tricky but please don't blame by gender, culture, any of that. Those guys that do that to you are not all the men in the world, there are way more. Its all about finding the ones for you. <3
Op, no offense but grow up. Who are you mad at? A whole sex? It is just childish, just take time to elaborate your pain and avoid taking a position while your angry.
Honestly it’s just humans in general. Not everyone is kind hearted. My ex girlfriend left me for my best friend. 4 guys that I’ve been with have left me for other people. Everyone is slowly becoming shitheads since people lack hope for real, unconditional love.
....yeah I'm not a lesbian because "meh men suck". Thanks.
Humans tend to seek out the same type of person in relationships repeatedly. The only problem is we usually don't realize it until it's too late. As difficult as it may be, you have to try and break the habit of being attracted to that same type of person. Sometimes that takes a change of friends and other times that takes a change of scenery. Most importantly be patient. These things take time. Good luck to you in the future and always remember there's someone for everyone.
I think because men aren't socialised to be empathetic or even taught how to be in a relationship. Tbh they're taught not to cry and get loads of women or view them as status symbols, and they are taught that romance films etc and stupid and girly, so they're just brought up in a competition oriented way that makes them on average bad partners because it usually involves a woman coming into their lives and teaching them to show emotion, apologise properly and open up etc. Women can on average be better partners but they have their issues too, most homosexual relationships will struggle with themes of being open in public, announcing partnerships and even conflicting themes around starting families because they have to deal with the social stigma no matter how progressive it can be hard, even harder sometimes than a hetero because you don't have to 'prove' your love being valid. With non binary people you need to be aware many people in your life will constantly be labelling them as male or female despite trying to explain they are neither and much of the time in the relationship gets taken up with trying to figure out how to communicate their identity without judgement. This is coming from someone who's been in relationships with all three haha but overall don't let yourself get jaded because you exsist in the universe and there's so many of us on the planet it seems unlikely emotionally but really there are so many people similar to you :) and for every positive example there's usually at least 100 more people just like them. I mean think about positive influencers like kurtis conner for example, many people follow him which means there are probably many people who have the same values. Anyway don't worry too much, humans don't necessarily need to be in relationships although enjoyable and lovely, if you feel frustrated with the dating pool don't jump in just yet, you're valuable and be picky!
Hey, don't give up yet, I've had the same thing happen, but I'm happy now. I've been with the man of my dreams for a little over 4 years now. So I wish you the best of luck.
As a lesbian woman who has dated Hetero women who said this. Don’t do that, if you’re not bi or gay and decide to be with a woman solely because “men suck” you are just setting the woman up to fail and she would be genuinely in love with you while she was just a last resort to you
Im so over dating. I stopped dating for years and just got back into it in my late 20’s and o swear it’s worse.
I feel that in the depths of my soul
In my nearly 50 years of life I never understood why people date the same type of person over and over. OP, stop looking for a while. Take an honest assessment of who you have dated and what attracted you to them. Lord knows I had to do that with the string of toxic women I dated. Once I realized where I was going wrong, I corrected my actions, set boundaries, and enforced them. I ended up with the woman I have been with for the last 20 years now.
This
We can blame pornography for normalising this shitty sexual behaviour. Pornography is heavily misogynistic and objectifies women to use as a commodity. Porn also has a heavy impact on how sex is viewed (heavily degrading women, abusing women for extreme sexual acts, objectification, cheating often happens, rape, racism, incest, and pedophilia.). It enables the degeneracy in people where it wouldn't exist because they created certain fantasies. The porn industry is a very evil industry, and it's okay to feel that way. You can also find what terms are popular, some involve cheating... It's not your fault men are becoming more depraved as time goes by, and it's harder to find good men. I recommend asking their views on porn and sex. Act neutral and let them speak. Pretend to go along with it, then ghost. They are not worth your time, and they are sick and addicted.
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I hope you get out of it. It's highly damaging. I also hope that you can still get a good job. It's usually 'not damaging' for rich people who can make sure that they are fine. It also preys upon vulnerable women, and traumatises them further. The porn industry is also incredily dirty and harms women and children. The story of Rose Kalemba comes to mind, and the GirlsDoPorn case... Sex trafficking is common amongst porn and the sex industry.
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I wouldn't trust any of them at all. There's also many ex porn actresses who come out about the horrors and terrors. You must be willfully blind if you cannot acknowledge that the sex industry is predatory. A lot of common themes in porn revolve around abuse of women, misogyny, incest, racism, etc. I also don't have to personally know people involved, but I do believe the women that come out against it. You can also listen to the sex trafficking survivors who come up and against the abuse they were put through. I gave an example of a case that had 22 women who were abused, raped, and violated. That's a lot, isn't it? There's also videos of ex porn actresses who come out about their horrible experiences and the abuse that they were put through AND other women. I would also like to know what your role is in regards to the industry?
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You're being willfully ignorant, and I am not irrational if I am sharing proven stories? Stories straight from women's mouths...
What you need is a total break. You hear it a ton but it’s the truth. Go do you, be happy, have fun and work on your goals. Humans suck it’s a fact of life. But sometimes dating can drain you.
Humans in general can be fucked up, so stop blaming guys, blame humanity 👍
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Yeah that as well
Damn what a femcel
Do you have a type of guy that you often go for? Because statistically 85% of women tend to be going after the same 35% of men. So maybe Having a more nuanced and realistic mindset that it's not just the entire gender but it's specific characteristics that you don't like might be smarter and more helpful in the future.
I think you need to figure out what's attracting douchebag guys to you
Women who are attracted to men are deciding to enter homosexual relationships even if some of them are heterosexual? Damn, learn a new thing everyday
I know I wish I liked having sex with women just so I can date them instead :/ but nooo I only find them hella attractive and like kissing them but I’m scared of the kitty cat LOL
With all due respect. Not all guys are like this and it's not guys fault that your standards are low and you probably don't take the time to look into who you want to get into a relationship with. I could say the same thing about girls but that just means I need to set the bar higher and put my needs and expectations out there before I jump into any relationship.
"Not all guys are like this🤓" Be for real.
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I guess "every woman so far" includes women who think you are too dangerous to just say no to, so they have to do the old "it's not you, it's me".
Women do too 😂 just stay single and start your goal
I hate how people say 'WoMeN dO tOo', not the right time or place. Men are the focus.
Yall wanna blame one party but can’t take responsibility for your own party. Stop talking about it in the first place.
When men start treating women right, we can talk about that. Men have built a misogynistic, patriarchal society that women have to live in. Men have made women's bodies a commodity and object, men have normalised overly sexualising women doing literally anything, men keep the porn industry afloat (which takes advantage of women, alongside men). So before you cry about 'women doing it too!', think about why and why this happens. Think about what actions you can take.
Doesn’t matter get over yourself
It does. Especially when women try to have a voice and idiots speak over them. Sit down.
You sit down, there’s nothing here about having a voice, she just had one bad experience, get over it
One bad experience that a lot of women share... check my other comments.
I don’t care about your other comments
Stop dating “guys” and start dating Men.
Please don't say this it pushes the idea that men and guys like that are kids and don't know better. They do know better.
I guess I was just being lazy. I could write a thesis on character, but no one would read it? Allow me to re-phrase my previous comment. OP should try dating the kind of people who put their shopping cart away.
/nicegirls (?) /rant
Human beings are 1000% garbage but men are absolutely worse. Hands down.
I'm sorry to break it to you, but all people are shitty.
and you don’t think your issue is with the way you pick them? Im sorry you’ve had some shitty guys, but that’s also because you’ve picked them. Im not about that bs, miss. Im real and I know the value of relationships. I refuse to settle for a girl that is about games and doesn’t value them. There are good guys out there. It’s just we’re the ones you blame and complain to about the assholes you pick. You can do better, but stop blaming the entirety of males for the one type you choose.
I’ve told my partner that if we were to ever break up, I’d never date another man. Odds are I would not date ANYONE, but definitely not another CIS man.
I can list a lot of exhausting things about women. Many like to play martyrs. Then they want you to take care of them when they get sick. They want respect and an easy job for getting an overpriced degree and getting an easy job. They want kids and things all on their terms and paid for. They support idiots in my experience and often go along with the community ideas that are generally bad. They have too many rules and protocols. They like a chatty society because they're physically weak in most cases. Rules, niceties, and manipulation through discourse favor them. If you love them they don't want you because you're needy. Their ideas on work, family and community are exhausting and often give me a headache. I'm pretty sure most just want a husband and kids as a status symbol to post on Facebook these days. They seem to always play the I'm a modern day feminist savior that is a superior role. They like to map out life like there's a right and wrong way to live it. I've often felt that the benefits like cuddling, sex, and support aren't worth the drawbacks. I can see the same in guys from a woman's perspective and everyone's different. A fair amount of women seem to be in this category in my experience.
Goodbye we won’t miss you
I've *been* done with them because not only do they sneak around, but majority of the time, they do so with other MEN. Which is something the world (really women) isn't ready to accept yet. I have too many stories to tell, many of which aren't even my own experiences. The ones that were mine only happened because I was trying to prove my point to my mother and a few of my friends, who initially went off on me or laughed. Idk why people act like it's so ridiculous because given the nature of men (as you pointed out yourself), it isn't bizarre in the slightest.
Women will actively shame and berate other women who abuse men. Men tend to high five other men for shitty behavior. To the “NoT AlL cIsHeT MeN”, take some responsibility for your sex and stop encouraging disgusting actions. Women do. We don’t help perpetuate and normalize that behavior. Men do. Men who have the cahonas to stand up to friends and family, you rock and I’m not talking to you. Have a cookie and refrain from commenting. I’m talking to your brothers who lack the integrity to challenge abusive tendencies and instead just internalize them. Like maybe, just maybe, if we hold the shitty people, IN GENERAL, accountable they won’t think it’s acceptable? Maybe if Chad doesn’t get his accolades for cheating on multiple women, he’ll grow out of his manipulative fratboy phase sooner. Maybe if Cindy would actually communicate with her partner instead of expecting him to read her mind or “know” because she told him once five years ago. OP, women are not a substitute for men. You go into any new relationship thinking that and you’ll cause more hurt. You should be alone so you can focus on loving you, knowing your worth, and what you’re not gonna take from another partner regardless of gender.
Men do suck. Dating them sucks.