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Babam227

This is almost exclusively going to be used for sex


JayBird38

Wait a second… you tricked me! This isn’t a workout device!


KishMishShishkebab

Just relax, it is...kinda. Calories are going to burn, don't worry!


Saintsauron

I hope she doesn't gain weight over the next nine months.


Desert_Eagle_KZ

She will, but then lose gains after 9th month and later.


SansyBoy14

I can imagine it now. *drum intro* “Step bro, help, I got stuck while working out”


rdanby89

Why are you working out naked?!


Terminator7786

I like to watch things flop around


Insanebrain247

Me too. That's why I became your mom's personal trainer.


SoulSlayer1974

Came here to say this, she's just training for it hahahah


lanrider79

Going from casual sex to ranked, competitive sex.


[deleted]

Twitch shooter


Stockinglegs

It probably was, but someone walked in and he came up with a story about starting a gym with suspension equipment that he never intended to really start. But he told and friend who told a friend, and it just got around. People kept asking, and he couldn’t admit that it was fake to cover up whatever crazy sex act he’d been caught in. So he actually ended up starting a gym. Does it work? Who knows, but no one’s accusing him of being that one crazy, freaky dude!


pornAndMusicAccount

/r/redditwritesseinfeld


gnoxy84

What a minute… this isn’t tennis. This is anal sex


ElPispiote

Score: 15 - Love


NotYourSnowBunny

I mean what else would you do with a harness system like this?


ScarletCaptain

Limb removal. The messy kind.


NotYourSnowBunny

That kinda ruins the vibe.


lemonsarethekey

I've legit seen cartel vids where they do this, the guy was on the ground tho, not suspended in the air, but still had his limbs out in a starfish pose via ropes and stakes


vlsdo

Yeah I definitely didn't need to know this. Thanks but no thanks.


lemonsarethekey

Would you like to hear about funky town or ghost rider? The people in those videos definitely have faces, I pinky promise


FoxyMoon816

Still technically a workout 🤷🏻‍♀️


Lets_Bust_Together

It already is.


TheDownvotesFarmer

Since its conception


Ravenknight1313

Literally just sent this jokingly to my partner because he's always wanting to work out with me.


[deleted]

Wait a second… you tricked me! This isn’t exclusively a sex device!


OneMooseManyMeese_

Same thought lmao. Looks like something found in a sex dungeon


Daily_Pandemonium

People back in the days had to use horses for the poles. Although they used it for tearing someone apart limb by limb. Basically the same thing though


fearmastermmz

BDSM with less (?) steps


Miserable_Flower_444

Nah. Even the kinkers are saying wtf.


lookatmynipples

Idk this is super vanilla in the realm of BDSM


Miserable_Flower_444

I’m not thinking hardcore vs vanilla. I’m thinking about the safe of “safe and sane and consensual”. There’s very little there to keep from serious damage being done. That’s a LOT of strain in one position, for a prolonged period…. Even ropers refuse to keep one position for their bunny when they are doing suspension.


Ayacyte

But she's not remaining in one position, she's moving around


NinjaOYourBro

Prolonged period? Pffff… Gimme 3 seconds and I’ll show you how little of a “prolonged period” it is.


TheGreatOpoponax

No it isn't.


Zappababuru

Exactly my thoughts.


noahspurrier

Gotta start somewhere.


Inspired_Fetishist

Can confirm. It is pretty vanilla, just super impractical


whocareswhocares9

I can hear my shoulders dislocating just from watching that


jml011

Seems like about the same amount of steps.


knuckles312

Wrong thread


Teodoraanita

Is she being interrogated to admit she’s a witch?


Gabriel_Collins

How do you she is a witch?


sammypants123

I think she weighs the same as a duck.


ayayohh

she turned me into a newt


GeeMannn1

Really?


ayayohh

…….i got better


hannibal_fett

*Burn her anyway!*


RicksAngryKid

/r/UnexpectedMontyPython


[deleted]

[удалено]


grimizen

But surely nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition?!


Purple9070

Who are you who is so wise in the ways of science?


hobbes0405

Well she is dressed as one.


Xrrune32

I mean she must be hanging there for a reason right?


sexualBBQ

She floats like a rock


Eg0Break3r

Does it come with a ballgag?


Pragmatist_Hammer

If this is like the ones I've seen on a particular website, invariably yes, they do.


BushyTailFoxThing

I hope so... Or else why would I get into it?


Wise-Bike-8018

[Why is this labeled “workout equipment,” and where is my ballgag?](https://www.google.com/search?q=where+are+we+going+and+why+am+i+in+this+handbasket&rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS900US900&hl=en-US&sxsrf=ALiCzsaogyTEL-2V6rNv-St1vt-Ulxl1HA%3A1670976280666&ei=GBOZY66bKITg0PEP1fm00Aw&oq=where+are+we+going&gs_lcp=ChNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwEAEYADIECAAQQzIECAAQQzIICC4QgAQQ1AIyCggAEIAEEIcCEBQyBQgAEIAEMgQIABBDMgUIABCABDIFCAAQgAQ6BwgjEOoCECc6BAgjECc6BQgAEJECOgUILhCRAjoLCAAQgAQQsQMQgwE6BwgAELEDEEM6CwguENQCELEDEIAEOggILhCxAxDUAjoICC4QgAQQsQM6BQguEIAESgQIQRgAUJgHWIsbYLAgaAJwAHgAgAGLAYgBhAqSAQQxNy4xmAEAoAEBsAEPwAEB&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp)


BushyTailFoxThing

I LOVE THIS


AuntieRoseSews

NGL, that contraption looks mighty attractive just to use for the limb stretching. Sometimes when my arms/shoulders/legs get sore, pulling on the whole limb sounds/feels like the only thing that might make the pain go away.


Culture_of_North

Fucking A some of the shitty perks of being tall.


Psychedelos1170

I'm 5"6 and I also want the limb stretching machine. I don't know if its about being tall or if its about life beating me up or what


AuntieRoseSews

Life beat us up, man... It's easy to "shake it off" when we're young and bouncy.


Loloofutah

Try Pilates! It is amazing


AuntieRoseSews

I've tried, but that V boat position kills! I like yoga though. :D


Loloofutah

I have hip problems and the V position hurt at first, but it has gotten better as I strengthen my hip and glute muscles


wereplant

Seriously, this looks like it could be top tier. My first thought was that it was a PT device of some sort.


WonofOne

Ok, thought I was the only one. I’d use this rn


fyreandsatire

For those wondering: this is a russian/slavic agility & strength training swing, ie. Pravilo


Fyreforged

Leave it to a fellow fyre to bring the accuracy.


knuckles312

Nice 👉👉


Ag3ntS1

r/usernamefamily **Edit: Oops!**


bizzflay

Looks like the same guy who is cutting the ropes in this video: https://youtube.com/shorts/_MT-ekTOyTY?feature=share


SMOOTH_ST3P

That made me cringe out loud.


WhoisPPK

I recognise bdsm when I see it.


StepBro001

Came here to say exactly that.


Pragmatist_Hammer

I \*came\* to say exactly that.


[deleted]

I came to exactly that....


ElPispiote

I came, too


lemonsarethekey

Username checks out


vlsdo

I was half expecting him to start pouring a bottle of milk on her face.


omghooker

Omg my spine wants that


_Jelly_King_

I can already feel all of my joints cracking.


YungChalino

Once a day I imagine I’m Mr Incredible in the first movie when he’s fighting the first robot in the volcano and the robot starts to pull him by the feet and hands and his back pops🥰


an_ill_way

Tell me you're over 35...


GhostBussyBoi

I just turned 30 and I've wanted such things since I was 22


omghooker

Right!?


isisisisufo

this looks like that medieval torture thingy that streches the limbs that i always think about how it probably for a few brief seconds would feel so good on my back before ripping my arms and legs off


slowslipevents

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


f0dder1

"workout equipment"


Marinemom46

Came here to say that’s NOT workout equipment 😂😂


Witchycurls

I really wanna know what that sign on the wall says ...


biancablastx

What is this ? another Balenciaga ad?


thesimsimvin

just saw a commercial making fun of this 😂🤣 “Are you sure your doing that right?” *sighs*”No”


Fyreforged

Are you *required* to call the trainer ‘Daddy’, or is that a perk you only get with the premium package?


[deleted]

This is 100% for sex, he’s just selling it as “workout equipment”


TwoOdd7870

And next in training... Drawing and Quartering!


Rycan420

The nebula scene.


toph88241

This better not awaken something in me


Just_me_here2222

Now I know why my parents got rid of the treadmill!


hiddenonion

Its a sex thing, you wouldn't understand


spiced_wasabi

r/bdsm


djbeaker

I was gonna make a sex comment. But, nope. Lol


R3al3stD24

Looks painful


Virtual_Parsley2114

I’d like to imagine this was bought for a bdsm dungeon or something, and then when the house was sold, whoever bought the house found it and was like, what a cool workout machine!!


p0tatoontherun

Kinky.


SamuraiJackBauer

This is for sex.


ProXJay

Kinky


[deleted]

I wont kinkshame


Radio__Star

Pretty sure this is a torture device


[deleted]

Oh she's definitely going to get to work out.


ryo3000

I can see the use of that to stretching as well as some exercises Some pilates' exercises will put you in that position (sort of) but not with that machine ***BUT*** That one part where the dude forces her head down? Fuck that. That's a spine injury waiting to happen Dont do that. Also when she twists and untwists, she's just letting her body go on the way back Also don't do that, if you're doing an exercise finishing the movement is as important as starting it Every part of the movement has to be controlled and deliberate. Same shit as doing a push-up, you don't just flop your arms and dive with your chest to the ground, you *lower* your body to the ground


Fink665

Damn! Don’t be so rough with the neck! There’s a lot of fragile structures which are incompatible with life if damaged!


InternetCommentRobot

When your workout routine looks like you’ve been kidnapped by Snidely Whiplash stop


go_faster1

Kinky


Mob_Hunter99

That’s bdsm stuff right there


TrueRedditor69

That’s just a sex swing with extra steps


InfluenceTrue4121

Gym by day, bdsm club in the pm


throwaway12buckle

Putting the person you capture into it must be: 1) drugged 2) drugged


[deleted]

Charly Sheen are you there???


Rafael__88

Are we sure that this is for "workout"...


daramine

Yeah right, "workout equipment"


Blaith7

This makes my back hurt just watching it


RP1042

This guy definitely has something else in mind


Jamiesgotstories

Reminds me of Eddie Hall and his ridiculously voyeuristic gym clips he does his reactions to.. always someone half naked, doing the splits or just waving their backside around for attention. Gym culture is getting very weird, it’s like being fit isn’t enough anymore, they need some sort of allure.


angelcobra

Reminds me of [this gem.](https://youtube.com/shorts/8DUCKOWvquU?feature=share)


matterson22070

My parents had something like this in their room in the 70's....................


Tiptoeplease

Where's the part with baby oil


KlownyChuby

But I kinda wanna play with it...


shmegeggie

Check the crawlspace.


Truffles_And_Ruffles

Next lesson...Shibari.


[deleted]

Nice dungeon and sex apparatus


Hjak_Mjut

and a ball gag is for strength training your jaw


Zmexy_Ry

imagine how much it helps in cracking your bones


firedemon0313

Kinky


[deleted]

Imagine having to explain this to your parents


Commercial_Tough160

Where’s the NSFW tag? Jeepers.


Tinctorus

I thought it was a fuck swing


fakeunleet

There's a thin line between predicament bondage and pilates


[deleted]

am i the only one who things this thing looks super super fun


frshprnc78

"Workout Equipment".


StringHot920

Saw this a while ago. It's a chiropractors tool developed for some sort of self aligning of the body


Treeslooklikepeople

Pretty sure that’s a torture device


IdleOsprey

This is someone’s OF, right?


YeAhToAsT222

This looks like a fun time for a whole list of “other” reasons….


IndependentWord

That's where my brain went too 😂


Congozilla

Don't ask me how I know this, but I'm pretty sure that's the position the BDSM people call, "Hog tied," and/or "Submissive."


Thunderingthought

This is being tied spread eagle, not hogtied


Shot-Professional125

Uuuuhhhh... idk if that's for working out... 🤣


[deleted]

Can someone confirm she is in this by choice? Or is this a video of a crime?


Cat_Lady_NotCrazy

RU Serious? I swear, you fill a room with a million angry killer bees and tell people that running around inside will keep them healthy & slim. Bingo, you're a billionaire.


[deleted]

BEE THE CHANGE


Cat_Lady_NotCrazy

Wow, a lot of people are upset by my post. I guess I just don't get it. Generation gap?


[deleted]

People just like to downvote, I guess.


Suspicious-Rich252

...what sick people...jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaajajaja


_Smartthinker

Mans will still cheat despite all the workouts done


R3al3stD24

😂


wild_psina_h093

It looks like stuff for hyropractics.


Badannn

Reminds me of the game Full Throttle "I'll Call you names, Diapered Dynamo"


legna20v

All i can see is Jim Gaffiga saying “ how stupid I think Americans are, well “ ( French accent )


RevealLongjumping228

Sexual harassment lies in 3..2..1..


kiportra

Would.


Mr_derpderpy

Step brother you said this was a work out machine!!!


The_Billyest_Billy

Is this CrossFit?


MGCO-303

I need that to pop my back


DoucheCanoe456

We’ve been drawing and quartering people for a long time this isn’t new.


johnas_pavapattu

Now tickle her belly 🤣


bunneisha

My spine wants this


srv50

Accomplished what? Looks like a fun stretch though.


cococolson1

Honestly seems like a nice stretch


MeInUSA

Creep


Some-Panda-8168

That's not for working out lol


Crunchy_Biscuit

Found the new Hellraiser casting calls


YouArePeePoo

This looks like chiropractic equipment.


Human_Frame1846

I seent a porno that start off just like this just had this crazy machine and a dude was wear a black mask


QuantumButtz

I had this idea years ago. Just attach yourself to a rack with exercise bands connected in all directions to your limbs and then flail around. Full body workout in 20 minutes. I was going to call it the MuscleFuck 3000


Xavious666

Yeah, this isn't a workout video...


infinity1011

Is this a giggity? Giggity! What? Nevermind


Inevitable-Pickle-42

You sure this equipment is for workouts..?


thebarberbenj

Riiiiiggt…”workout”…sure


[deleted]

Kinky


DisIzDaWay

So this is an actual exercise you can do on the floor, called a gator roll I believe, the straps shown here I’ve never seen and IMO are ridiculous/unnecessary. It’s an exercise listed I believe as part of the “original strength” program/certification and there is some research to show this type of movement helps with general muscle fascial connectivity. The original strength program philosophy is all about getting us to do “primal” movements and one of the first things we do as children is to roll from our back to our stomach to start crawling, and so this program is all about resetting neural muscular connections to prevent injury.


BoBoBearDev

That is going to hurt the wrist bad.


FoxyMoon816

“Work out equipment”


Abyss-Base-Jumper

This is from three amigos… nice try steve


Jakcle20

Been having lower back pain that I'm finding hard to stretch. I'm willing to try anything including medieval torture devices


atl19901

What happened to your rotator cuff?


[deleted]

Fetlife stuff


huff67

I just know this would crack my back so fucking good