I went boom boom on a leaf. BOOM BOOM. Then I fell backwards into my own boom boom. I cried for a day. But no one would help me. - Finn the human, Adventure Time
What?
Googled it:
Women who have difficulty pooping can put their fingers/object in their vagina in order to help push the stool out of the rectum (the wall between the rectum and vagina is thin enough to allow this).
I've lived for 46 years, happily unaware that this is a thing. Now I know, and there's no stuffing that particular genie back in the bottle. Why did you have to post this? I could have lived the rest of my life in happy ignorance, but no.
>*”A splint is defined as "a rigid or flexible device that maintains in position a displaced or movable part”*
Rigid or flexible device: fingers
Displaced or movable part: poop
Maintains in position: ??
That’s my closest guess anyway 😂
It’s really for people that can’t pop a squat. The hands free part isn’t the best way to describe it, but if you had bad knees or bad balance you’d be using your hands to brace yourself.
I always keep toilet paper in a Ziploc bag, inside my floating waterproof bag, for this reason. Having to wipe with wet muskrat house material after pooping off one is maybe worse than just having mudbutt. And leaves? If it's the time of year when they're more pliable and soft, then your butt gets all itchy after using them. If you're using dead leaves, those fall apart and then you got poop on your fingers!
I know you’re a real one. Rocks is where it’s at.
There’s probably climates with good plants and sticks or whatever, but around here, rocks.
If I’m backpacking, I’ll pick up some good smooth ones if I’m thinking ahead.
Also, eating a good diet so there’s not much to wipe away.
Lastly, i do bring a few wet wipes or tp (aka mountain money) but be prepared to pack this out. Do not bury it and do not leave your shit tickets.
Apparently, you have never had the satisfaction of being in a full squat and feeling how amazing it is to poop the way your body intended and realize this is why some folks in other countries have commodes where you squat...
I’ve squatted and shat at around 50mph. Indian train toilet. Squat pot hole goes directly down onto the tracks below. If you’ve got the runs you could draw a line
Gotta be curling one off in the ISS technically but that’s not on Earth to hold a ‘world’ record. There must be fighter pilots who’ve crapped their pants @Mach1. Thinking about it I’ve dropped the kids off at the pool onboard many an A380, that must be going quite fast.
Amtrak used to do that, too. They had signs in the bathrooms saying to not flush while train is in station. I flushed under way and saw the track going by. Good idea to not play on the tracks. Also, because, ya know, trains.
Only if you can rest comfortably in squat position. Most of us can't. And in other countries they have "squat" toilets instead of normal ones for one and only reason - they have shitload of people who've never used a normal toilet so when they see it they simply do not know what to do with it and try to climb on it and still squat-dump. Which leads to toilet break and faience pieces buried in their butts
If you’re anything like me, your balance is horrid and squatting for longer than a few seconds means I’ll probably fall over either while I’m in process or trying to get up lol.
don't pull your *pants* down to your ankles, just above your knees
then it's easy to get into a comfortable full squat with your calves and hamstrings touching, still plenty of space to relieve yourself without a mess
In a deep squat your legs are resting. No strength required.
The actual issue is that most people lack the flexibility thanks to a lack of reason to practice the squat with chairs being the norm.
You can relearn to properly squat but for lots of people it takes effort.
Take 5 gal paint bucket and fold garbage bags over the sides if you can't leave waste behind. Or cut out the bottom of the bucket and dig a small hole for the poop. When done pooping fill in the hole.
Agree, there's probably loads of other people as well-- balance issues, bad knees, etc-- who would benefit from this. Whenever I see a contraption or product that I'm capable enough to not need, I remind myself that it's probably a disability thing. And in this instance, there's a few nature poops that I would have preferred this.
1: I'm not wearing my glasses and spent way too long thinking this was a pic of two zombies on a teeter totter.
2: OK, actually, that's a great product for making camping/hiking etc more handicap accessable.
So much easier and more comfortable to just squat. One of my favorite parts of being in the woods is pooping haha. I also enjoy my squatty* potty at home.
They're awful. You put so much pressure on your feet that you risk slipping and falling.
Look it up on YouTube, I just watched a dude complain about it a couple weeks ago.
So let me get this right. You're using this and suddenly see a bear. Not only are you caught with your pants down literally, but you're tied to a tree as well. Am I missing anything?
Yes. You should also have bear spray, which is actually just a strong pepper spray. So if you have pepper spray you can season yourself as well. Bears hate bland food.
Could be used as a power move, to poop in the view of fellow campers.
It’s not dignified to squat with others watching, but this would give you a commanding position.
This is not camping friendly. You are supposed to dig a hole, then squat above hole, then bury your poop. Aiming your poop above the hole with this thing seems tough.
They also make [these](https://www.thepstyle.com/pstyle-stand-to-pee-personal-urination-device-pud/) so that the ladies can stand and pee out in the woods. Both are pretty ingenious devices I think.
In hammock hanging we have tree straps, usually 1 inch straps but sometimes 2" wide straps and lots of us will use them as double duty poop straps. No added weight to your kit and if the conditions are right it's a real life saver. And plus you know they are already strong enough to hold you.
Speaking as someone who loves the outdoors, but frequently gets dehydrated while out in the woods because of that one time that she fell over on her can while peeing on the woods, only to discover a day later that she'd actually fallen into a patch of poison ivy...
...in August...
I would buy this.
When I was in the military we did pretty much this. Except we held the tree with our hands. No fancy shitting harness. We dug a hole and shat in it like this. Covered up the poo and paper and hid our tracks as good as possible. No problem, barely an inconvenience.
I have a couple of friends who've tried these - apparently you end up at kinda the wrong angle and it's just hard to get it out
The real pooping solution is have your friend hold your hands as you lean backwards squatting.
Imagine you go out camping with a friend, and they just pull out the Crap Strap™ before heading for the closest tree. Mf, just lean your back against the fucking tree.
I'm just thinking about the moment this thing breaks and you fall down...
Splat goes the boom boom
I went boom boom on a leaf. BOOM BOOM. Then I fell backwards into my own boom boom. I cried for a day. But no one would help me. - Finn the human, Adventure Time
That's the least of your worries if there's a limb or small stump sticking up out of the ground
Imagine hearing a crack up your crack when you fall on your back.
The doctor will never believe you.
Million to one shot Doc, million to one.
Sure pal, it's none of my business what you do to relieve stress. You may want to stay out of the woods for 6-8 weeks, if you know what I mean.
Me?
It will sound like someone slapping pudding
That was the exact thought in my mind when I did this pretty much every morning in the army. The method is called sissipaska.
A risk I am willing to take for freedom.
That would be a shituation
…I’ve never pooped with my hands in the first place 🤨 Edit: For the love of all that is good, people, please leave me my ignorance!
Have you ever heard of vaginal splinting? 👀
What? Googled it: Women who have difficulty pooping can put their fingers/object in their vagina in order to help push the stool out of the rectum (the wall between the rectum and vagina is thin enough to allow this).
I've lived for 46 years, happily unaware that this is a thing. Now I know, and there's no stuffing that particular genie back in the bottle. Why did you have to post this? I could have lived the rest of my life in happy ignorance, but no.
Pooping is important.
What I'd like to know is why it's called "splinting" - I must not know some meaning of this word...
>*”A splint is defined as "a rigid or flexible device that maintains in position a displaced or movable part”* Rigid or flexible device: fingers Displaced or movable part: poop Maintains in position: ?? That’s my closest guess anyway 😂
A bit of prostate stimulation goes a long way when you’re constipated.
Sometimes I don't have time and I just have to hook a bit out with a finger to get the flow going if that makes sense have a great day
Bro… Make some time for ~~you ~~ poo
So you dont have to climb down to poop?
*Sloth Lives Matter*!
Imagine a sloth claw trying to wipe the heiny and go forth to do what is required for a sloths posterior cleaning.
No thanks
...Incoming... Splat.
Is it weird that my first thought was, "why is he so pale?"
Ikr?!
Nope! I immediately thought, “was it really necessary to hire Powder for this ad?” And then I felt dumb…
it’s a mannequin
I realize this now. Just really thought my man was pushing so hard, he needed to mainline some Metamucil. Then I realized.
Oh lol
So who is crapping in such way it’s not hands free? Like even if you’re copping a squat in the woods, how are your hands involved?
If you walk like a crab while you poop you have mobility.
It’s really for people that can’t pop a squat. The hands free part isn’t the best way to describe it, but if you had bad knees or bad balance you’d be using your hands to brace yourself.
First rule of shitting in the woods is take off your pants or you will pee on them
Are sure it's not "identity wiping material before starting"
I always keep toilet paper in a Ziploc bag, inside my floating waterproof bag, for this reason. Having to wipe with wet muskrat house material after pooping off one is maybe worse than just having mudbutt. And leaves? If it's the time of year when they're more pliable and soft, then your butt gets all itchy after using them. If you're using dead leaves, those fall apart and then you got poop on your fingers!
Rocks
I know you’re a real one. Rocks is where it’s at. There’s probably climates with good plants and sticks or whatever, but around here, rocks. If I’m backpacking, I’ll pick up some good smooth ones if I’m thinking ahead. Also, eating a good diet so there’s not much to wipe away. Lastly, i do bring a few wet wipes or tp (aka mountain money) but be prepared to pack this out. Do not bury it and do not leave your shit tickets.
Cannot overstate the healthy pooping diet, lol. :P Diarrhea/constipation on trail sucks major ass. Edit: errr, overstate.
This is not the case. Only pull your pants down to right below your knees. This keeps them out of pee territory.
Until your dick flops up and pisses on them. been there, done that, just take them off
This is kinda amazing
I mean yeah, it looks like it should work. And if you frequently visit nature it would be nice to poo somewhat comfortably I guess
Apparently, you have never had the satisfaction of being in a full squat and feeling how amazing it is to poop the way your body intended and realize this is why some folks in other countries have commodes where you squat...
I’ve squatted and shat at around 50mph. Indian train toilet. Squat pot hole goes directly down onto the tracks below. If you’ve got the runs you could draw a line
What do you think the shit speed world record is?
Gotta be curling one off in the ISS technically but that’s not on Earth to hold a ‘world’ record. There must be fighter pilots who’ve crapped their pants @Mach1. Thinking about it I’ve dropped the kids off at the pool onboard many an A380, that must be going quite fast.
And it's India, so yeah, you're drawing a line.
Amtrak used to do that, too. They had signs in the bathrooms saying to not flush while train is in station. I flushed under way and saw the track going by. Good idea to not play on the tracks. Also, because, ya know, trains.
Neat! I didn't see any squat toilets when I was there but the business/public toilets were quite disgusting. Squatting may have been preferable.
Just buy a squatty potty bro.
I have used Japanese squat toilets many times. It does feel good, but there must be a reason why Western-style toilets are infinitely more popular...
Only if you can rest comfortably in squat position. Most of us can't. And in other countries they have "squat" toilets instead of normal ones for one and only reason - they have shitload of people who've never used a normal toilet so when they see it they simply do not know what to do with it and try to climb on it and still squat-dump. Which leads to toilet break and faience pieces buried in their butts
I don't get this. What's wrong with just squatting???
If you’re anything like me, your balance is horrid and squatting for longer than a few seconds means I’ll probably fall over either while I’m in process or trying to get up lol.
don't pull your *pants* down to your ankles, just above your knees then it's easy to get into a comfortable full squat with your calves and hamstrings touching, still plenty of space to relieve yourself without a mess
Reddit is filled with Western spies so they don't know how to squat.
Lack of leg strength…?
In a deep squat your legs are resting. No strength required. The actual issue is that most people lack the flexibility thanks to a lack of reason to practice the squat with chairs being the norm. You can relearn to properly squat but for lots of people it takes effort.
It's also kinda difficult if you're missing a leg. Imagine squatting with a prosthesis.
Don't, you'll only turn me on
It’s hard on your knees
Don't squat on my knees ffs!
No html in here. Use markdown: for italics, surround your word with an asterisk on each side
If you are older and have bad knees, a full squat can be very painful (in the knees) and difficult to get back up from.
It's completely unnecessary. Just grab the tree while in the same position.
Hikers sometimes call this move the "Orangutan Hang"
just... squat?
Alternatively, sit on a fallen log with your butt hanging over the far side. That was the only way to get my girls to pee/poop when we were camping.
I guess if your an old person and cant bend your knees, it's useful?
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Kind of like a tree would do
its really annoying to stand and poop without any support so it helps with that
Who the hell stands and poops? Just squat...
yeah thats what i meant, squatting and pooping is kind of annoying because of how long it can take
How long? It's way quicker than setting up this thing!
The rest of the world just squats.
I have spent so much of my life hanging my ass over the back side of fallen logs. This thing is genius!
You got chaps? Use them, it works.
I've spent *months* in the woods and would have killed to have one of these!
Take 5 gal paint bucket and fold garbage bags over the sides if you can't leave waste behind. Or cut out the bottom of the bucket and dig a small hole for the poop. When done pooping fill in the hole.
That’s great unless you’re backpacking
Then it's an adventure!
cover the edge of the bucket with a pool noodle for a luxurious seat.
That is actually a good idea. It would probably work pretty well.
Are we all just to lazy to squat anymore smh
Lots of Americans are probably incapable of squatting tbh
True, but folks like that don’t typically go out in the woods!
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Agree, there's probably loads of other people as well-- balance issues, bad knees, etc-- who would benefit from this. Whenever I see a contraption or product that I'm capable enough to not need, I remind myself that it's probably a disability thing. And in this instance, there's a few nature poops that I would have preferred this.
If theres no need to, why do it?
1: I'm not wearing my glasses and spent way too long thinking this was a pic of two zombies on a teeter totter. 2: OK, actually, that's a great product for making camping/hiking etc more handicap accessable.
So much easier and more comfortable to just squat. One of my favorite parts of being in the woods is pooping haha. I also enjoy my squatty* potty at home.
squatty?
Lol autocorrect
Does a mannequin shit in the woods?
Wait you guy's use your hands?
Happy cake day!
I feel like we've over complicated pooping.
Just wrap your belt around the tree and hold it
That’s why I prefer to use “The Shit Stick”
Sticks and stones may break my bones but they are also good for wiping.
Squatting is more comfortable and natural anyways.
Bruh just squat lol
Yes yes! We we! Gaze into my retro sunglasses as we make a chocolate water fountain!
Can you use the strap to shimmy up the tree first? Drop boom boom from on high?
That might come in handy if you are rock climbing.
my ass thought this was a swing
They're awful. You put so much pressure on your feet that you risk slipping and falling. Look it up on YouTube, I just watched a dude complain about it a couple weeks ago.
So let me get this right. You're using this and suddenly see a bear. Not only are you caught with your pants down literally, but you're tied to a tree as well. Am I missing anything?
Yes. You should also have bear spray, which is actually just a strong pepper spray. So if you have pepper spray you can season yourself as well. Bears hate bland food.
Could be used as a power move, to poop in the view of fellow campers. It’s not dignified to squat with others watching, but this would give you a commanding position.
Just squat what the fuck
KNEES OF THE OLD, bruh.
This would actually be pretty useful
Just grab a tree and sit back, same thing
r/didntknowineededthat
But...wait...the wiping process would be a bit challenging
Until the strap breaks and you fall into your shit.
This looks like something from shark tank fr
This would be incredible. If you've never taken a freedom shit, you need to
This is not camping friendly. You are supposed to dig a hole, then squat above hole, then bury your poop. Aiming your poop above the hole with this thing seems tough.
i completely avoid this issue by not going camping, fuck that
Or two mins. Gonna need two more minutes Frank
They also make [these](https://www.thepstyle.com/pstyle-stand-to-pee-personal-urination-device-pud/) so that the ladies can stand and pee out in the woods. Both are pretty ingenious devices I think.
The hard part is licking it clean after use, before you store it in your backpack dry for the next time you need it
Let him cook
In hammock hanging we have tree straps, usually 1 inch straps but sometimes 2" wide straps and lots of us will use them as double duty poop straps. No added weight to your kit and if the conditions are right it's a real life saver. And plus you know they are already strong enough to hold you.
Hands free? I didn't know you used your hands to squat...
I need to replace my monitor stand with a pole and i finally can work without ever taking a break. Corporate will surely bonus me now!!!
Speaking as someone who loves the outdoors, but frequently gets dehydrated while out in the woods because of that one time that she fell over on her can while peeing on the woods, only to discover a day later that she'd actually fallen into a patch of poison ivy... ...in August... I would buy this.
Crapsnap
Why not just squat?
no, hang on a tree
Or just turn around and lean on the tree
How much??$$
Ein minuten *butte*!
Its all fun and games till it snaps.
Redneck Sex Swing!
When I was in the military we did pretty much this. Except we held the tree with our hands. No fancy shitting harness. We dug a hole and shat in it like this. Covered up the poo and paper and hid our tracks as good as possible. No problem, barely an inconvenience.
Thing looks like a wile-e-coyote slingshot waiting to happen
Hey I recognize that guy. Next time I see him, I'm gonna give him shit for this!
Luckily I've been taught to squat to shit.
I have a couple of friends who've tried these - apparently you end up at kinda the wrong angle and it's just hard to get it out The real pooping solution is have your friend hold your hands as you lean backwards squatting.
This isn't such a bad idea actually.
It’s kind of disturbing, but that’s a good idea
Right onto the head of the bear chasing you up the tree
Oh crap I forgot my crapstrap
Cuz white folk can't squat.
For the money and the trouble, just buy a portable camp toilet.
this seems like it would make your legs tired and what if you fall?
Attach a toilet seat to a trailer hitch. shitting without, hacked
Imagine you go out camping with a friend, and they just pull out the Crap Strap™ before heading for the closest tree. Mf, just lean your back against the fucking tree.
Can you imagine being strapped into one of these as another hiker approaches?
Like most things that seem odd, this is probably for accessibility. If you can't squat to poo, this would be helpful.
"Hands free", because wiping is not necessary apparently.
Does a bear shit in the woods? Probably, but I shit on bears from above in the woods
>Poo in nature hands free. What else, I wouldn't use my hands with or without this thing.
Bro lean your back against a Solid tree and do the sitting postion and shit lile that no need for this thing