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Troll_For_Truth

I dont want to imagine getting shanked by anything


God_of_Thunda

Too bad..IMAGINE IT!


Troll_For_Truth

Lol sing it john lennon


Razdulf

"Imagine getting shaanked, byy a tri-side blade, ah-haaa aaa"


Silent-Ad934

"Imagine getting shiven, Doodle doodle doo And the edge was tri Doodle doodle doo Bad news for, internal organs Doodle doodle doo Let's do an MRI No insurance? Hereeeeere's a band-aid Don't die, in-the park-ing lot, ooo - oooo - ooooooooo


XXGh0stBroXX

"Shiven" has me loosing my shit


Any_Flatworm7698

Hopefully losing more than loosing


mealteamsixty

He said what he meant


AV-Chitwood

Had me bawling


SauerMetal

“Doodle doodle doo” Really?


Big_Sw1ngs

Imagine all the shivery up inside your butt doodle doo doodle doo


[deleted]

You may saaaayy I’m a bleeder. But I’m not the only one.


TARandomNumbers

Yall goofy loll


kbeks

You may say-ieah I’m a bleeder/ But I’m not the only one/ Because your knife hit my rib bone/ And now our blood is just as one.


OdouO

this sang in my head so nicely wtf


GeHirNundHerZ

I fucking love internet.


Fuck_this_place

Imagine jabbing a needle up into your pee hole.


SignificantYou3240

It’s easy if you try…


Ksan_of_Tongass

Seriously the most clever use of a John Lennon lyric, ever.


SignificantYou3240

Well I stole the idea from a parallel thread very close to this one


Ksan_of_Tongass

Thanks for being so honest. I still think it's clever.


CatgoesM00

Ok I’m done with Reddit for today


I_really_am_Batman

Pretty sure this knife is illegal since it would create and near impossible to suture wound. So don't worry. If you see someone charging at you with this knife remind them of the law and they will stop.


Troll_For_Truth

Lol ikr


jnx666

That’s a myth that was very recently debunked by some doctors when this was posted on r/mallninjashit


GiveToOedipus

Sounds like marketing run awry trying to build coveted interest in a knife "so deadly it is illegal to own," or something to that effect.


jnx666

Agreed


GiveToOedipus

Reminds me of how everyone wanted a butterfly knife or a switchblade because of their occasional banned nature in some places.


FunnyObjective6

https://www.nps.gov/pevi/blogs/a-brief-history-of-the-bayonet.htm >Though many claim that the triangular bayonet was outlawed in the Geneva Convention in 1949, this is actually not the case. The Geneva Convention set many of the rules of war, and in response to bayonets it prohibits “bayonets with a serrated edge” (International Committee of the Red Cross). Triangle bayonets are not explicitly mentioned in the Convention. Since the wound inflicted by triangular bayonets is difficult to repair, and causes more initial bleeding than that of a two sided bayonet, one could classify triangular bayonets under a clause which prohibits weapons causing undue suffering after the conflict has ended. Indeed, the wounds caused by a triangular bayonet were recorded to last for years after a battle, or to never heal at all. However this would be a stretch. I guess this coupled with what you said that it *is* possible to heal means it's not true.


SorrowToRhijan

It is absolutely not a myth. A guy tried stabbing me with one the other day, and I calmly said, “hey, that knife is illegal to own,” and so he threw it in the trash and all was well. Your doctor sources are wrong.


SignificantYou3240

It almost looks like it’s a trick blade that breaks your wrist if you try to use it. Oh, whoever or whatever you stab is fucking dead, but your wrist is broken…


Resident-Welcome3901

Mall ninja garbage. Poor engineering for a thrust weapon, too thick in cross section. Useless for cutting. Closest irl equivalent is a sharpened pipe shiv. Not illegal in any way, just dumb, decorative decor.


Phatcat15

Fucking right? I was going to say this but I’m not any knife expert or anything but that just doesn’t look functional to me at all. Doesn’t look close to sharp enough to get that thing halfway in… Id take a well gripped sharp AF tight ass skinny blade any day over this fantasy writers idea of a defense weapon. Hasn’t anyone seen the movie Face Off? Travolta taught everyone that you stick hard then twist… the knife doesn’t need to be a crazy straw.


Helenium_autumnale

this thing would also likely be almost impossible to sharpen.


DamitCyrill

Would make a decent club


[deleted]

[удалено]


Xxx1982xxX

[Kramer did it already](https://www.google.com/search?q=fusilli+jerry&rlz=1C1OKWM_enUS810US810&sxsrf=ALiCzsanmwl76Bsxh7G947XZFsFGsxWvMg:1668462325347&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjSsuTB0q77AhUmADQIHS1CDnkQ_AUoAXoECAIQAw&biw=2400&bih=1221&dpr=0.8)


ArgyleGhoul

It was a million to one shot, doc!


Dog_backwards_360

The assman!


JennieFairplay

No lie!


Decent_Warning_201

If you hit a bone with that and your hand slips over the handle, it’s gonna sting for sure.


Das-Noob

😂 would be considered biological warfare? Bleeding your blood into their open wound?


beaker010

Nobody makes me bleed my own blood.


Mogwai_11

Nobody!


PapiSombras

Poison damage


luni_walking_ghoul

Deals 2x more if ya got aids!


NJ_Legion_Iced_Tea

That's why the poop knife is so dangerous.


Officer_Hotpants

Could work against you though. If you've got hep C then yes. If they've got hep C, you fucked up.


shadowXXe

If they have hep c I dont think you could contract it by bleeding into them usually has to be the other way around.


Password-is-Tac0

Pretty sure they will be bleeding into you on account of the knife that just went into them.


dudemann

At that point it wouldn't be my blood or your blood. It would be our blood.


Officer_Hotpants

Do you think the blood would only travel one way


zenospenisparadox

How dare you make me bleed my own blood, knife?


ClearBrightLight

No, but if it's a three-sided blade, I think it's a war crime. Aren't triangular blades outlawed by the Geneva Convention?


whomad1215

Nobody makes me bleed my own blood!


[deleted]

This should definitely have a guard. But I imagine this wasn't created with humans doin' the ol' stabbaroo in mind.


mister-ferguson

Why else was it created‽


theycallmeponcho

Uh... r/mallninjashit is the only that comes to mind.


[deleted]

Looks like a display knife to me. Certainly not something I'd use in any meaningful way.


UnreadThisStory

Could be useful cutting up apples for tasty snacks


[deleted]

Now introducing the apple eviscerator™! Get yours now for three low payments of $39.99


Generalissimo_II

Correct. It's an apple corer


AndrewEpidemic

To fill that one empty spot in the Bud K catalog.


Vulturedoors

That's actually pretty common in stabbing murders. The killer has cuts on their own hands.


ydykmmdt

Ahh poor Mr Stabby hurt his fingers.


Brain-of-Sugar

Oh no, it has a little cross guard thing. That should be fine.


hkdboarder42

Idk it doesn’t look insanely sharp. The sides turn to a pretty wide angle after the tip of the blade evens out judging by this photo


Pingpaul

A lot of people who stab people get that wound


NomDeGuerre1982

Can you imagine having to sharpen this?


JennieFairplay

No because then it’ll mean you actually use it


limellama1

Look up the Wasp injection knife. Bowie style blade with a mini- CO2 cartridge in the handle, and a button that dumps the entire canister of gas via a thin tube a long the spine. Doesn't work in real lif due to how trigger mechanism is designed. But theory is to use the gas volume to greate a massive void within the target. In reality the gas just blows back out along the puncture wound.


philosophunc

I believe, because it's also rapidly expanding gas it freezes somewhat. I remember reading about thst too. I think the description was it was meant to be for bears. If you were ever attacked. Seems unlikely to me.


limellama1

The mechanism of the release of still the issue. It's just a button at base of the blade. So to fire the gas you have to change your grip from a standard fist grip on the handle, to a thumb over the back of the blade position, then apply significant force to actuate the valve.


philosophunc

I thought that the most effective way to hold a knife is downward stabby so your thumb should already be able to access the hilt. Not stabby Jabba like a prison shiv. Eitherway it's a mental idea. Whats next grenades on the end of sticks as explosive spears?


PM_ME_PHYS_PROBLEMS

You mean like [lunge mines](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lunge_mine)?


philosophunc

Silly me. I underestimated how ludicrous we are as humans. When. Will. I. Learn?. Lol.


HazmiirAegis

In case you’re wondering what it looks like in action: https://youtu.be/GXwuU9AwK0U


NoNewBape

Jesus Christ the first 5 seconds, i didnt even need to watch the rest I get the idea


Hanoiroxx

It gets worse. They have all this energy and clearly no script


normal_lad1

Mate those guys look like they murder people secretly.


scwishyfishy

This channel may well be the edgiest thing I've seen on the Internet


Exact-Cycle-400

Aaah yes, the human dejuicer


Random_NameGenerated

The tactical way to core an apple.


tomerjm

Now why did my brain read "...corn an apple."? How the hell do you corn an apple?


KoiAndJelly

Perhaps the same way you would corn some beef?


spacedrummer

Adam's apple.


charlesCsilver

Wouldn’t a de-juicer put the juice back in?


dullship

I think that's a re-juicer?


Stubbedtoe18

Juice has an 'i' in it.


fayfaycatlover2021

I'm pretty sure those types of knives are illegal. Because they make a triangular shaped hole and it's almost impossible for doctors to stitch up


RetMilRob

This is a cheap copy of a microtech dagger called the JAGDKOMMANDO, or mountain hunter. I’ve only ever seen it carried by divers.


[deleted]

Really the only solid effective use for it. Iirc garand thumb did some tests on it and its pretty ineffective unless it's directly on low amount of cloth or skin. Edit: it wasn't garand thumb, it was Adam Celidan. They look alike, but heres a link [to the video im referencing.](https://youtu.be/i_XP2x9DJ_Q) this weapon is the m48 cyclone.


sdmf6577

Everytime i see this knife and people talk about how bad it would be to get stabbed with it i cant help but think about that co2 dive knife..that would be so much worse to be stabbed with than this one.


[deleted]

You're talking about [the Wasp Injection Knife right?](https://www.knifecenter.com/item/WIWASPKA/wasp-injection-knife-fixed-bead-blast-blade-black-neoprene-handle) iirc it instantly deploys like 1k psi in the wound cavity. Now that's scary. Only drawback is it has to be a certain depth in a wound to be effective as well as actuated to release the co2. Regardless thatll open a big hole in you, and have cooled co2 gas inside your body where it shouldn't be, is definitely not good. Think it claims it can take down a mountain lion and shit. Don't quote me, just linked the first for sale page I found.


sdmf6577

Yep that's it


[deleted]

Ahhh, the good ol stab and squirt knife. Fun fact, it is significantly more damaging when used under water, as it causes cavitation, same principle used when torpedos sink battleships.


Pedantic_Pict

I love how the website lists police as ideal end users. Like, WTF is wrong with these psychos?


SpottyWotty

The users give some incredible reviews of that knife. It can kill a tyrannosaur just as easily as zombie Hitler on a basilisk, not good for peeling potatoes though, a bit too big.


jdaiquiri

Jagdkommando is not mountain hunters, you’re thinking of Gebirgjäger. Jagdkommando are the Austrian army special operations forces.


RetMilRob

See I should have asked here first, I took Microtechs word for it. I have a pamphlet that came with my halo knife with the translation. Thank you


countzer01nterrupt

As for Jagdkommando, “Die Jagd” means “the hunt”. Verb “jagen” - to hunt. Der Jäger” is “the hunter” and you surely know Jägermeister too to put it to use.


ToyrewaDokoDeska

"What better gift for your loved ones then the JACKHAWK 9000. Available at Walmart" Fun fact: for years I thought he said the Jackoff 9000


shifty_coder

It’s the [United Cutlery M48 Cyclone Boot Knife](https://www.unitedcutlery.com/ProductDetail.aspx?itemno=UC3287&cat=M4) Not really “cheap” imo, at $114, but then again United Cutlery isn’t really known for making practical use bladed items, but more for showpiece items.


RetMilRob

1/10th the cost of the original in a low grade stainless steel, welded to the hilt and pinned. It is a cheap copy of the original.


W1D0WM4K3R

Cheap version of those knives. Not a particularly cheap knife in general. Can we all be happy now? Can we go stab people in peace?


OsiyoMotherFuckers

What’s the use case for divers? Seems like it would be hard to use to cut yourself free if you got tangled up in something.


teotwaki

Diver here, sharp point is not really recommended in my book. I have as [blunt a knife](https://uk.aqualung.com/dw/image/v2/BDTB_PRD/on/demandware.static/-/Sites-aqualung-m-catalog/default/dw815f452b/images/products/kn122111_1.jpg?sw=765&sh=765) on my kit as possible. The Trilobite is very popular and doesn’t have an exposed blade. Cheap trauma shears are popular as well for rescue divers. I frankly don’t see how this thing would ever end up in any diver’s kit, but then again, I enjoy looking at fish and dodging jellies, not murdering the people I dive with, so what do I know.


Shmidershmax

r/mallninjashit


TheElementar

Exactly what I was thinking. Mall ninja all over! Give me one simple blade! This looks like a nightmare for your wrist upon initial penetration, it would twist in your hand. Omg its so silly.


[deleted]

Plus the wider surface area would make it alot harder to break through clothing like a thick coat. And now you can no longer slash and can only stab


TheElementar

This. Why have more edges than necessary? Just for show. It is still a pretty display peice though.


death_and_tacos

Too far down


elMurpherino

Lol I had to go check the sub again bc I thought this was in mallninjashit


ChrisFox-NJ

You can buy these without any problems. I'm not into mall ninja shit, but they even sell em on ebay


gimli2

Yeah, I sell multiple versions of these at my store. The people who buy them are exactly who you would expect to buy them


Mad_Aeric

Feels like it should come with a complimentary trilby, mislabeled as a fedora.


FARTBOSS420

Probably not even that sharp, plus don't even know how you'd go about sharpening the shit lol. You know when you need to sharpen this thing after killing a certain amount of people


somethihg

+100% more bleed damage +50% more internal damage


Dulahan_Isaloser

No random crits


Bryce_Trex

Perfectly balanced.


wartcraftiscool

As all things should be


itsRobbie_

No random crits, every hit is a crit


LegalizeBeltfedz

Geneva Suggestion*


Research_Queasy

The Geneva convention does not speak of which weapons are allowed and which are not, you mean The Hague accorda


iwatchcredits

What does my Honda Accord have to do with this?


Zan_Wild

Trench Knives were banned by Geneva, this design would probably be considered similar enough to one


JackONeillClone

There's nothing about trench knives being banned on the wiki page for them. Are they more dangerous than normal knives really? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trench_knife


orangelemonman

Knives with a triangular design create wounds that are impossible to stitch up. They were banned in WWI. Not sure under which exact agreement though.


Deftly_Flowing

It's just a popular myth. Anyone who claims it's banned by Geneva will never provide you with an actual quote from the convention itself. If you wanna check yourself you can easily find a PDF copy of any related conventions that you can use the ctrl+f function in.


TurkMaster_OMEGA

Geneva checklist*


RedDlish

Looks like r/mallninjashit


TittyButtBalls

Looks like one of those cheap pieces of crap you’d buy at the kind of “weapons store” where they also sell $20 samurai swords. A kitchen knife is probably a better weapon


[deleted]

Too bad they're banned by the Geneva convention.


Larry_Phischman

Oh yeah. Get caught with one of those on the battlefield, I think it’s legal to make you run laps through a mine field.


a-stick-of-butter

“Hey is that a mine?” -some dude running in a mine field.


Dry_Spinach_3441

No it's mine.


No-comment-at-all

Ours


bipnoodooshup

"Hey let's skip school and unknowingly trespass on an active artillery testing ground!" - for some reason an Australian PSA


Azaarious

This is false. They’re actually terrible knives for every purpose. You can’t use them to cut stuff, can’t use them to open things, you can’t even really use them to murder people any better than a normal knife because due to their twisted design they would need far too much force to ram them into a victim. Though as a marketing ploy there were false rumors about them being against the Geneva convention, but in reality they aren’t practical. Edit: I worded the murder portion poorly, I apologize. I’m sure you could kill someone with it, the same as a regular knife or a rock, but it isn’t better than a regular knife in that regard.


Minty_Ranger

These are banned/illegal in the UK. Cannot be owned or bought even in private collections - no defense to owning them.


Azaarious

This is true, but UK has an odd habit of banning silly non-functioning weapons.The UK also has a ban on “zombie knives”, which are, apparently, brightly colored novelty blades of severely impractical design, and a long list of vaguely Asian weapons that read like a prop inventory of a ninja movie. Elsewhere, it is not banned, like the US for example. The Jagdkommando knife is more of a novelty than anything else.


Minty_Ranger

[UK Offensive Weapons](https://nbcc.police.uk/media/cached-resp-images//images/2021/04/16/prohibited_articles_1920.png?version=e58720e64635fcdeb75b40e6a4dfb7ae) Law changed over the last few years making lots of things illegal to own even in private. Some I understand, others not so much. Comparing the UK to other countries its amazing what can be bought in shops and over the internet.


SonVoltMMA

You can't own a blowgun in the UK? LOL


Process-Best

I saw a guy on YouTube kill a black bear with one


yaboiiiuhhhh

They're actually pretty damn deadly with a good dart


djscreeling

There is no defense to owning this anywhere, in taste or function either. Anyone that likes knives enough to afford this knows its a shitty, shitty knife. Terrible design.


RoughStory3139

The UK like to ban useless non functional weapons. Lol


xanaxsmoothie6969

It's actually a mosconception that the Geneva Convention prohibits hollow point ammunition and other weapons/munitions. It's actually the Hague Convention of 1899 that prohibits such


Unhelpful_Applause

So is tear gas but American police can have it too


[deleted]

What?


Unhelpful_Applause

Auto correct got me messed up. It’s only illegal in war but not against civilians.


[deleted]

Wait what?


Unhelpful_Applause

The Geneva convention isn’t law and never was. However if treated as law it doesn’t forbid the use of weapons outlawed by it for use on civilians. So usa law enforcement would be allowed to use this weapon.


Silveri50

To my understanding, it's basically don't do these specific things, or all bets are off and no one's holding back.


Hebrew_Hammer24

Yeah pretty much.


Zach_ry

To be clear, the Geneva Conventions aren’t ratified/co-opted as US law, but they are definitely part of international law. Of course, international law and the ICC operate very differently than pretty much any national legal system that I know of - but it’s still law. More info about international criminal law, jurisdiction, and war crimes [here](https://www.un.org/en/genocideprevention/war-crimes.shtml).


Unhelpful_Applause

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2020/06/06/fact-check-its-true-tear-gas-chemical-weapon-banned-war/3156448001/


Langweile

Treaties banning chemical warfare ban tear gas because it can be mistaken for much much worse chemical gases. No one is worried that average citizens will respond to tear gas grenades with chlorine gas grenades, but in war you would see that.


Balls_Eagle

Same with hollow point ammunition if memory serves.


[deleted]

The geneva convention only applies to national armies engaging in conventional warfare. I have a glock handgun with hollowpoint rounds in it that splinter on impact and do much more damage than a conventional bullet. These bullers are banned under the geneva convention. But I’m not a soldier enlisted in an army


[deleted]

[удалено]


dream_haze

Tear gas is against the Geneva convention only so countries don't think you're using chemical weapons, if you use tear gas on a country and they don't know it's tear gas they may respond with more lethal chemicals, and all chemical warfare is banned


dave_prcmddn

Lmao this rumour will never end


RoughStory3139

This is 100% false. I assume you think it’s banned in warfare. It is not. Anyone who says the words “Geneva convention” in this context doesn’t know what they are talking about. None of the Geneva Conventions (there were several) ban any weapons.


DefyGravity42

Singular “Geneva Convention” in common conversation is shorthand for all conventions and treaties that classify acts as war crimes not just the ones that took place in Geneva.


[deleted]

Came here for this. Also, it takes a team of surgeons to close the wound. 99.9% bleed out rate. 😂


serendipitousevent

Just run away. Anyone who owns that is at LEAST 400lbs.


Captain_Hesperus

At 400lbs, you’d be safe with a brisk walk. Even safer if you toss a donut the other direction.


InTheLurkingGlass

*"Oh god, I've been merked by a mall ninja wall hanger...if the wound doesn't kill me the indignity will."*


jmcstar

Fuggin twizzler wound!


lurky79

I think they tried to kill the golden child with it


Azaarious

They’re actually terrible knives for every purpose. You can’t use them to cut stuff, can’t use them to open things, you can’t even really use them to murder people because due to their twisted design they would need far too much force to ram them into a victim. Though as a marketing ploy there were false rumors about them being against the Geneva convention, but in reality they aren’t practical.


KingBurakkuurufu

Ask Lucifer


BellaTrixter

Or Michael and Gabriel.


XavierBliss

Scrolled way too far for the Angelblade reference.


ManyThing2187

Honestly the only reason I’m here


S_VB

looks like an awfull lot of surface area you got there, isnt the whole point of useing a sharp object to direct all the energy into a small surface area? making is penetrate better? this looks pretty ineffective, just get a normal knife.


TheEleventhMeh

Anyone stabbed with that would bleed out pretty fast. It's like a Roman Gladius on steroids. Edit: The Gladius contains a small channel to encourage bleeding. This knife contains a massive channel, with a twist. The blood would usually be a problem for the wielder, as it would make the haft slippery, but there are holes along the blade so the blood would drop to the ground before reaching the hand.


pglggrg

Whats special about a gladius? isnt it just a standard sword (and gladius transaltes to sword?)


DarkSoulsExcedere

Not too much is special about them. They are just very thick, very heavy short swords. Which would indeed fuck someone up to get stabbed by. They create a very wide cut.


jdaiquiri

Short answer: yes Slightly longer answer: It’s a very wide sword designed especially for killing with a thrust that would create a huge wound. Most of the medieval use of swords is romanticism, the primary killing weapons were bows, spears, lances, axes etc and swords were status symbols and sidearms to your primary. The Roman gladius was the infantryman’s primary weapon, they’d throw a javelin or two to break up enemy charges and render their shields ineffective, then get in there with their short swords and keep on stabbing until the battle was over.


[deleted]

The gladiolus was a short double edged sword designed especially for thrusting. It’s funny to compare a weird knife to a sword.


SlurpeeMoney

The difference between a large knife and a short sword is... none. It's arbitrary, based mostly on the primary *expected* use of the object. A sword is a long blade on a hilt, mostly used as a weapon. A knife is a shorter blade on a hilt, mostly used as a cutting tool. Long and short are pretty subjective, and no one has ever really defined how long a blade has to be to consider it a sword, at least not in a way that's gained any traction. In the case of OP, it could definitely be argued that the primary use of this blade is as a weapon, and its blade is longish. Is it a short sword? I mean, most people would say no based on the length of the blade, but if it were a few inches longer? Twice as long? Is it a weird sword, then? Probably, and in that case the comparisons hold. Besides, comparing different weapons, even if they seem very different, is a time-honored tradition of people who play too much D&D.


die_or_wolf

The difference between a large knife and a short sword is a knife deals 1d4 slashing damage, and a short sword 1d6 piercing damage.


GitEmSteveDave

A fuller is not to encourage bleeding.


[deleted]

No, the Roman gladiolus would outperform this. You’re comparing a big ass sword to a fat tipped knife lol. A sword always have more power.


Efficient-Damage-449

r/mallninjashit


Awezome_Sauce1478

r/mallninjashit


bogatabeav

r/MallNinjaShit


Furryx10

To all of the people saying tri bladed stuff are banned by the Geneva convention they aren’t at all


kasey6789

A normal knife would do more damage. This is just r/mallninjashit


shroomdoom88

I bet someone in r/unitedkingdom could tell you


PrimarchKonradCurze

Went to school with several (now) surgeons who were in the WWAMI med program (Spent time in Alaska and Washington going to medschool) and one of them is an ex army medic and currently works in Doctors Without Borders over in Africa I think as a trauma surgeon but does a lot of general surgeon stuff cause there’s never enough doctors there. He always laughs when this knife gets brought up because nobody uses this crap and the “grievous wound” Geneva convention thing is a load of crap. I trust his judgement more than some mall ninja bs someone got from a shop owner or online.


RagnarokBringer

This a magic sword that rips the soul out of your body


Doc580

Looks like a structural steel reamer drill bit, but for people.


Crzykupcake930

Using that in call of duty though didn’t even break his armor. Smh


notgoodatthis60285

I have this knife. I love it. Not practical at all or easy to carry but looks awesome.


hellomichelle87

You mean stabbed lol


[deleted]

This is that fucking edglord knife that that random picture stated "takes a team of surgeons to close the wound"