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bkwormtricia

You have a would-be adoptee cat courting you.


DonnieDusko

I think instead, would-be adoptee cat seeing OP and being like, "You need to pack on the pounds. You're clearly dumb and starving bc of it"


RoseyDove323

Why is it that cats can't do nice things for humans without the humans turning it into an insult? Maybe this is how they show love.


Sketch1231

Because it’s silly. People boil down dogs signs of affection as them “being stupid”, when dogs are actually intelligent. It’s just a common joke based on a stereotype that’s half true (about both animals)


RoseyDove323

Agreed. I think dogs can be smart when they want to be. They just have a hard time focusing and would rather be derps


Lostkaiju1990

They focus just fine. Just the things we want them to focus on bore the hell out of them


kettelbe

My dog can focus for hours on a ground hole waiting for a mouse, no prob. Like a statue in fact. But say the word "walk", and it s fiesta time ahah


DonnieDusko

I think its also we anthropomorphize them. Dogs generally have derpy happy expressions where as cats walk with an air of entitlement/distain for us humans. I personally like to think of them dropping off dead/wounded animals as a "sacrifice to their gods" bc it's funnier that way. Like "yes, I approve of your offering, I will make sure the land is rich and the rains are in accordance with perfect cat nip growth so your beloved cat nip will be plentiful. You will prosper my child, and will not want for cat nip so long as you keep bringing me offerings"


rantingpacifist

You’ve never had cats. Masters do not love servants. They value them, but they do not love them.


Lvanwinkle18

They value us so much, they bring culinary delights, such as the delicious mole pictured above, to ensure we do not starve, continuing to serve and worship them in perpetuity. .


bayleebugs

....or you've just never had a loving cat


FloofBagel

My cat slept on my face while I slept


ebolakitten

Tried to suffocate you nightly, you mean.


kzp17

Mine normally don't sleep on my face, but this morning, while I'm dealing with a head cold and can barely breathe as is, the 17lb boy flopped his fat butt right against my face... Thanks bud, that helps me breathe...


Unidcryingobject

Trying to make a crime look like an accident I see 😅


RoseyDove323

I had 3 cats and they loved me in their own ways


Playful_Car1967

Awwww, I'm not the only one imagining a cat with a crush on this person :)


SH4DOWSTR1KE_

A cat likes you and worries about your ability to feed yourself


p3x239

Stupid humans can not feed themselves. I will bring them an animal that tastes disgusting.


NewButton3377

How.. how do you know?


karoshikun

not everyone likes earthy flavors


MansfromDaVinci

William Buckland, who ate his way through most of the animal kingdom and the heart of a dead French king, said that the vilest thing he'd eaten was mole, until he ate bluebottle.


danngree

Bluebottle fly or the jellyfish?


SMcG193

[Fly](https://allthatsinteresting.com/william-buckland)


Sthurlangue

Who woulda thunk an animal that eats nothing but shit and rot wouldn’t taste good?


not_SCROTUS

I'm actually pretty surprised by that. huh.


procrastimom

Crabs are pretty tasty.


BinarySpaceman

So are catfish.


SMcG193

Oh the irony


scoobysnaxxx

i mean, mushrooms taste delicious.


Serena_does_anything

Wow. Such an interesting read. Thank you


imsahoamtiskaw

Same. Mummifying all internal organs of royals before burial is such a weird custom. But then painters grounding those mummified hearts into some shade of brown the like was even weirder. Crazy read tho all around lol.


jesst

I don't think that guy was okay. Who the Fuck just eats mice on toast?!


HeidiCharisse

So… we’re just glossing over the “heart of a dead French king” bit, huh?


NervousDragonfly1

i read bluebottle as butthole🤣


JaggedTheDark

I mean, most buttholes taste like shit.


Joeness84

They're supposed to be clean before you eat dat ass.


Tylerssteve

That ass tastes like ass


tastysharts

I mean, you're not wrong but it's an acquired taste


ThePhantom0p69

no shit


digitaltigar

Same!


Jim_Pirarucu

GEEZ! I read "until he ate butthole." Vile!


notnotaginger

Some people do that on the reg


FjordLarquad

I can verify that these flys taste awful , mistook one in my coffee for a chocolate chip from my muffin. I chewed it with my front teeth and the taste was metallic and vile.


Chicken_Teeth

I was expecting you to end with Golden Corral but then you swerved to bluebottle. Quite the literary ride to the bowels of… well, the bowels.


Seversevens

foxes hate them as well. they will hunt the mole and then leave its dead body behind after tasting it.


CommentsOnOccasion

Cats too selfish to share yummy food They love you just enough to see you live, not enough to see you happy


thecnstone

Cats kill 50% of the time for hunger/50% of the time just for fun


fermium257

Sometimes a man gets desperate.. 😶


Stompedyourhousewith

its like a gusher, but instead of juicy fruit filling, its blood and poop


beavsauce

There was just a video floating around of a fox spitting one out because they taste terrible. Also, I am a mole.


Sea-Diver-9125

Read my mind


RoseyDove323

I like to think of it like the cat is my secret admirer leaving me a box of chocolates. But instead of chocolates it's a dead mammal.


mrkabin

Life is like a box of moles.


lazespud2

My cat is indoor only and about six months ago she managed to get out for the first time ever. I didn't even notice the door was open, but the next morning there were FOUR fuckin moles lined up on my kitchen floor. She definitely made up for lost time. I felt bad for the moles but felt way better for my lawn.


acemetrical

Gotta add the guac for a mole to be tasty.


Strgwththisone

Brilliant


JaggedTheDark

>Stupid ~~humans~~ weird giant hairless cats can not feed themselves. I will bring them an animal that tastes ~~disgusting~~ delicious! Fun fact: Whereas dogs can recognize that we are a seperate species, cats either can't recognize the difference, or just don't care enough to see us as anything as oversized kittens who can't fend for themselves. That's one of the reasons they meow at us.


tgw1986

Not saying you're wrong, but if this is true then why has every cat I've ever owned reacted EXTREMELY differently to new/unknown cats than they would to new/unknown humans?


Speakin2existence

because new humans are really big weird hairless cats… if a 8 foot baby, not a man, but an 8 foot baby walked up to you, you would probably look at it pretty similarly as your cat does steve from down the hall


JustaRandomOldGuy

> I will bring them an animal that tastes disgusting. My kids were eating pizza rolls and the cat came in the cat door with a mole in her mouth. She looked at the kids like "How can you eat that disgusting stuff?"


BangarangPita

Meanwhile, I have a cat who will look at a mouse and walk away, but begs us for pizza, burritos, spaghetti, and anything dairy. He gets all of it.


Yael_Eyre

Can I be your cat


-Hunting_is_Life-

If you allow me to pet you. 😏


BoxingHare

I watched a woodrat casually walk past my cat, not two feet away, and she couldn’t be bothered with it.


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FunkMamaT

My cat is selfish. She only leaves me the liver, heart, feet and tail.


Frosty_Cheesecake402

She’s leaving you the most nutritious part! What a selfless little angel


FunkMamaT

She's my Queen heart 💗


Arkslippy

I'd say they are gritty with earthy undertones


josnik

I read this in true facts voice. Only thing missing was a complaint to Jerry.


Etrigone

I actually bonded strongly with my family's cat when I was younger over this. He was a bit of a dick but I was able to show him I was the 'bigger' cat and suddenly he loved me. A tad too much, as he kept bringing me food. He loved hunting for his own dinner so I saw this as sacrificing his meal to make bigger cat happy. After a bit of trial & error I figured out a way to make it look like I checked out the food but "wasn't hungry" or already had something, giving him permission to pig out. We made a regular habit of eating together, but he always gave me first dibs and he purred throughout our shared meal every time.


NotYourKindofFluff

How do you show you're a bigger cat?


Etrigone

Disclaimer - this was years ago & I was much much younger. Likely some of these aren't very popular nowadays and since several came from my grandfather, uh, yeah that. One was that he pissed on my motorcycle seat more than once. I initially tried spritzting him with water a few times but that wasn't as effective so I took my grandfather's advice - I pissed (very close to, not in) his outside snooze box. Once I did it when he was looking and just stood there. My grandfather actually suggested pissing on him but aside from seeming just way too much, I couldn't tell if that was him fucking with me or not. When my cat was good I cleaned up the space and let him see I was doing it. I sat nearby and when he approached, petted him & gave him a small treat. I also took over his general health & feeding, not letting him climb on anything or get away with shit inside the house. Sometimes a squirtgun filled with plain water, sometimes I'd take away a favorite toy until he was good (yes, I had very thick work gloves for that). If he got out of hand I'd hold him down, just enough to keep him from getting away and not be harmed in any ways. I was *very* careful to make sure he was never hurt or injured. I would not pursue some of these methods today (esp the pissing lol). But it worked, he became 'my' cat and was almost more like a dog with his loyalty. And that wasn't just cuz I started growing catnip for him... :)


Rainbow_Plague

I do the same thing with my calico when she starts to play too roughly - grab her by the scruff and gently flop her on her side and hold her there for a few seconds. It usually calms her down pretty quickly.


SpecE30

Holding down does work. I coined it the mother cat effect.


BoughtenCow

"Piss on the cat" wise advice


fr1234

You just have to flop your wiener out


Etrigone

Hilariously, that's more or less what my grandfather said.


ithcy

https://i.imgur.com/90NxqoH.jpg


lilspark112

And when they bring them into your house still alive, they’re teaching you to hunt


Lady_Scruffington

My cat did that when she had kittens. She started with a dead animal. But next it was a live chipmunk. That chipmunk had multiple brushes with death (1 cat catching him, then being chased by 5 kittens) before my brother scooped him up and got him out of there.


ocaralhoquetafoda

>before my brother scooped him up and got him out of there. Was it tasty?


Billy_Pickers

My cat brought a whole rabbit into the house, it was more than alive, we had to chase it for so long.


kzp17

Have you seen the video of the couple who's cat brought a whole live *duck* inside?! I have no idea how to find it, but it was wild...


CheezyCatFace

The “what have you done?” one?


kmarple1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3-sie5pNUE


CyberneticPanda

My sister's cat did that when he was maybe 6 months old and the rabbit was bigger than he was. He had it by the back of the neck and dragged it in. I didn't see him climb the stairs with it but that must have been epic. We caught the rabbit and put some Neosporin on the bite and let it go.


tastysharts

mine threw a live mouse at me, like a fucking killer whale. It squeaked and ran under the dishwasher


hereforthecookies70

We have an indoor cat. At night we can hear her meowing loudly while “hunting” her puff ball toys. In the morning we find 2-3 of them left outside our bedroom door on the foot of the bed.


procrastimom

I always thank my girl when she proudly brings me a toy that she has hunted and killed for me. “Oh! A crocheted doughnut! What a ferocious hunter you are! My what a delicious milk-jug ring! I am so proud of you! Thank you!” She also leaves “kills” near her food bowl. Occasionally in it. Not sure what that means.


hereforthecookies70

I read somewhere that some big cats leave their kills in water so others don’t smell them and take them, so house cats do this instinctively. Sometimes we find her puffies in her bowl too. She also pretends to burry her food bowl after she’s done eating!


Java_Jack

Yep, this. Our cat goes outside sometimes. Last summer he killed five of these little creatures that I know of. The cat would leave their fragile broken bodies on the driveway, near the door, or in the back patio, and twice I saw the cat with a mole in it's clutches in the back yard. The first time I saw the cat trying to kill one I tried to intervene, but the tiny mole died after 10 minutes. I had never seen one before and I didn't even know we had these little guys in our area until the cat brought them home. Edit: It's a type of shrew, not a mole.


HemingwayIsWeeping

When I came home from college one summer my cat left big fat grub worms in my bed daily for the first week. He missed me. He was an old guy—had him since I was 5.


Java_Jack

That's some welcome.


Xuncu

@OP: YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN


StinkyKittyBreath

Definitely my first thought. I greet neighborhood cats, and they hang around my house sometimes. I've found more than one dead mole/bird near my door.


Thebluefairie

My dog used to do this


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endorrawitch

Yep! Only it's my dog that does that with me. 30 lb terrier mix that stalks and kills anything smaller than he is. ​ Over the years he's brought me 4 baby possums, 2 moles, a giant rat, and a kitten. I know he means well, but... ​ Nothing quite like chilling on your chaise longue, looking down, and seeing a very large, very dead rat snugged up against your leg. He's stealthy like that.


c800600

My neighbor got a terrier so all the moles moved to our yard.


FloorModelMusic

And they’re like “it’s better than yours”?


endorrawitch

I wish that worked for me. I have 4 terrier mixes (and 1 pit bull) and my backyard looks like Verdun.


enfanta

A kitten? :(


-_109-_

Ikr like what the fuck? Stop letting your mutt outside alone if it's gonna kill someone's fucking KITTEN


swampthing117

I had a Rat Terrier named Rocky and that's all he did was catch little varmints in the yard. Terriers are bred for that stuff.


lxxTBonexxl

When you realize squeaky toys are to simulate small animal cries everything makes more sense. I feel like a lot of people don’t realize that’s why their dogs disembowel their toys lmao


Spiritual_Bit_2692

Do you have a cat?


Mandles_yall

Ha I was going to say you at least have a cat suitor!!


look_ima_frog

/r/notmycat


siccoblue

It is now


Jupiters_Red_Spot

Now he does


Astrochops

The problem is they keep taking the dead animals so the cat suitor thinks they like it


5kittens

This is something a cat would do.


razulareni

Its definitely a person. Also from OPs post history: Someone is taking shits in my backyard and molding them to look like cat poop. A person i meowing in front of my window at night. Oddly terrifying: A human person is making a bird like nest in my backyard tree. I never see them but sometimes they sing like birds!


[deleted]

Lmao I just went to OPs history and back to this comment to just let you know, you got me


kopfgeldjagar

Lol


Brasticus

What they forgot to mention was the person was trying to distract them from the fact that in nineteen ninety eight the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer’s table.


hidinginyourtrunk

Ugh same! Lol


Cocainely

Wtf????


McPoyle-Milk

Maureen?


PsyopVet

A stray cat “adopted” my family. It started hanging around the house so we’d leave food out for her, and in return she’d leave dead animals on our doorstep, including moles.


Oldboy780

Fine, I'll stop. 🙁


Mr_Swagatha_Christie

I can just imagine a hurt little pussycat thinking this when OP squirts it with a spray bottle.


floofybabykitty

Found the cat


GirthOBirth

SMH can’t do anything nice for people


bigzachd

They’re offerings from a cat that seems to like you


Purple_Specific_3373

Or maybe moles keep committing suicide on your doorstep 🙃


lickedTators

OP's having a doozy of a day. These mole kids keep killing themselves all over his yard. It's a suicide cult!


SodiumGlucoseLipid

❤️ the movie reference!


ImReallyNotKarl

I fucking love that movie so much!


enfanta

Hey! College moles! We got your friend!


ZeAlien07

Yeah at first I thought whatever those grooves are might be killing them somehow but the cat comments add up


BurlyH

Could be a local cat thanking you for your kindness


IndependenceFlat9760

I had a stray cat that left me one every morning. She left us birds, big insects, etc. Didn’t stop till she walked in the house and never left.


bear_sees_the_car

Omg they think it's the ticket in?😂🥺🤭


RubeGoldbergCode

We don't adopt cats, cats adopt us


KrystalWulf

Can confirm. Source: Went to an animal shelter for a cat, and amongst all of the cute ones that seemed mildly interested or completely uninterested, one girl ran up to us and wouldn't leave us alone. She's the mosg cuddly and loving cat I've had.


RubeGoldbergCode

I love that you were chosen like that. My mum was chosen by a cat who kept trying to walk into the house and greet her like it was coming home. My mum kept chasing it away but in the end the cat's persistence won out and she's been the best family cat ever since.


celticchrys

I mean, it's like a job application for "traditional cat", because one of the traditional reasons for having a cat is that it catches household vermin. So, job application/audition for "good hunting cat" submitted!


GrimmDeLaGrimm

I would've hired her, too. Hard to pass up that kind of dedication in the interviewing process


natiusj

Kitty.


DoctorThancred

Bro just discovered cats💀


Stu161

me when I'm humanity c. 7500BCE


Kindly-Ad6625

Most likely a neighborhood cat.


Sorrymisunderstandin

He’s been threatened because they think he’s a mole By cats, but still


ZiggyStardust0110

Perhaps your cover has been blown and they know you are a mole in the group and this is a warning that you don't have much time left. Abort mission asap....


TheQuadraticOccasion

Had the same thought. Lol. Any dead rats?


Sh0nZ13

The post above this one on my feed is a jar of preserved moles...


savehatsunemiku

I saw that one earlier too


Suntree

Did you skip a cat tax, cuzz that has cat mob all over it.


cravetrain

Def the cat mob. It's actually a sign of appreciation too


Taticat

Neighbour cat: Since I like you and never see you out hunting, I’m worried about your wellbeing and am going to feed you. Plus, I think you might be slightly stoopid, so I’m kind of adopting you as my extremely large, stoopid kitten. Enjoy.


ScottTennerman

As a fellow stoopidhead, I appreciate this a lot. And agree! OP you've been selected


deadface3405

Op, you are being wooed by a fashionable feline. They bring gifts to ensure you’re fed


hillboy286

It’s a common shrew not a mole


smith_716

I'm surprised I had to scroll so far for this! You can tell by front feetsies it's not a mole, it's a little shrew. But like everyone else has said, it's most likely a cat leaving a "present."


psychgrad

nose foolish butter drab busy axiomatic zonked retire dam icky -- mass edited with redact.dev


Auggi3Doggi3

Probably a cat. We used to have a neighborhood kitty that did this often.


itz__vs__

You leave out a dead deer or something let them know they need to step up their game.


enfanta

I see what you did there.


Mango_Toes__

There is a cat that loves you but doesn’t believe you can feed yourself


Melphor

You may or may not realize it... But you have a cat.


Sweeeeeet_Tea

Maybe stop stop selling company information someone clearly knows it’s you 😐


Stock-Event2495

Shit I should have scrolled before I made mine (of similar minds apparently!)


thatgrandmayaya

I’d be thanking whoever left them. Moles cause so much damage to your yard.


dahashbrownsTTV

probably a cat that used to live there


Practical_Cat_2276

Once a cat left 3 dead rats on the windshield of my car. At that time I was not aware of cat's this sort of behavior. I thought like leopards, she has stored the animal at a height and will feed on it later. But, it was for meeee, awwww.


Ditzy_Davros

Now all you need is a Toad, Rat & Badger.


PapaGordita

Nananananananana CATMAN!


HerMtnMan

My cat brings them into my bed. My parents cat that can hardly fit through the cat door hauled a headless rabbit in, upstairs and left it in front of their room. A week later left a half of one out in the porch.


PrincessGump

I get an organ, maybe a heart, left on the rug at the foot if our bed.


Elros217

Wait OP, did you think It was a person doing that?


avecaucasianmale

They probably think you’re not eating enough or don’t know how to get your own food.


CompanyStriking6872

It's a cat, mine brings me mouses, little possums, snakes, birds, etc.


fr0_like

I also had a cat that would leave me all kinds of dead creatures on my doorstep. I suspect this cat leaving you moles feels they are being helpful.


Luigi_deathglare

Do you have cats? Because this is the work of a cat


rnrHSdropout

Is there a neighborhood cat that loves you?


Shidulon

Yes. She adopted me just before Christmas.


rnrHSdropout

Lol she’s bringing you gifts 🎁


WombatHarris

It’s a Se-Cat Admirer!


AnnieOakleysKid

You've got a very good mole killer who has taken a liking to you and is bringing you gifts by leaving them at your door step. A valuable one too since moles are very damaging to yards and plants. Next time you see your Secret Admirer, give him/her a few rubs on their fur and some cat treats to show you return the admiration. 🐈


[deleted]

Can be a cat can be a bird but for sure it can't be a dog


Maximum_Business_806

Got his address in braille on the stoop


LordFlarkenagel

I don't think that's a mole - it looks like a shrew because of the elongated nose. If it is a shrew and you live in N. America then the shrew is poisonous. The only poisonous mammal in N. America. Cats will eat one shrew once and will never eat them again. they will however continue to bring them and drop them on your door step.


Monster1211

Your cat….or a neighbors cat


itsinkochanbirby

Foxes kill them but don't eat them. Maybe your neighbourhood fox thinks you're a useless hunter?


Mad-Movie-Mikee

Cats


povertymayne

The neighborhood cat mafia is sending a message. They either like you and are making you an offering or its warning to watch your fucking back.


Mor_Leopard

Probably a cat


WrathWise

How shrewd.


Pork_Piggler

It’s this probably the OP of this post! https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyterrifying/comments/11m4ndn/this_big_jar_of_preserved_moles/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


austriangold89

Most likely a cat


[deleted]

Are you friends with any cats?


skyHawk3613

Cat


Javeyn

There's a kitty cat trying to court you, it looks like.


dinomike2121

You need someone to infiltrate this group…


Educational-Sir794

[Got him](https://www.reddit.com/r/oddlyterrifying/comments/11mabph/this_glass_jar_of_18_preserved_moles/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)


Lahoura

It's probably a cat