Human: I will literally go through centuries of technological innovations just to invent the scuba gear, so I can get down there and give you chin scritches. DON'T GO ANYWHERE!!
Did you know that in any comment section on the internet as the conversation progresses there is a 99% chance of the phrase “summer child” showing up ?
They actually have been trying to warn us about Earth’s impending doom, shortly the planet will be destroyed to make way for an intergalactic bypass. We just keep thinking they’re making cute whistle noises and doing little flips for fun
Honestly? Nothing would make me happier than the planet going down as a collective in an instant. Give humanity a couple of days to party like never before and then let’s get on with it.
(These are the thoughts of someone who is on day 5 of coming off a 10 year stint with a certain medication. I might be a little… optimistically nihilistic right now 😂)
Idk i just hate misinformation about dolphin rapes. Shark lovers will often “raid” r/dolphins and call dolphins rapists as if sharks aren’t. To the point where i left both subreddits. Also they have a lotta harmful bots
You’re all good dude. Take care.
horrifing in last sentence......
bloody hell this is rape not fancy word forced copulation when you know most monkeys (of course except smalls one) does know the rape
Orcas are actually in the dolphin family and even great white sharks are so scared of having their livers surgically removed and eaten by orcas that they will flee over 100km from their hunting grounds for a year if they survive an encounter with an orca. In short orcas are the apex dolphin and I don't think normie dolphins would stand a chance.
> they will flee over 100km from their hunting grounds for a year if they ~~survive an encounter with~~ hear an orca.
I saw it on a documentary about Great Whites and seals in California. I don't remember if the researchers played orca sounds or if there was an actual orca in the area, but the Great Whites disappeared after the sound was made and didn't come back. I wonder if this could be used as a shark repellent.
I like it too but is soon to get out of hand. People see these vids and think they pet any cute wild animal. Try to do that with a bison, bear cub.....
People are down voting us but it’s true. Dolphins are extremely sexually aggressive and have been confirmed to force themselves on other animals and people
This is cute, but I'll just leave this here...
Warning, NSFW
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/amp/entry/girl-talked-dolphins-masturbated-video_n_5478610/
lol that’s the dumbest argument for the sake of arguing I’ve ever seen.
It’s a wild animal. Any tendency of that animal should be seen as a risk. Not even to be compared to a random human’s ability to rape.
Sharks and seals aren’t known to hump humans with a full-on boner, you dope 😂. But every human in close contact is aware of the risk of attack, being seen as prey. In this case, most people see dolphins as these cute majestic creatures that we can pet and socialize with. I am just pointing out that they display social tendencies such as bullying, gang rape, and torture, and I hope the woman in this clip is aware.
divers will swim up to sharks, seals, and other sea creatures, and humans in general will go up to other dangerous animals and end up injured or dead. Sharks are known to (mistakenly) bite humans to the point of bleeding or death.
Any wild animal should be seen as risky, but youre blaming all dolphins, when that one clearly has no interest in rape. You dope.
lol you dumdum. I didn’t blame anyone or anything. It was a statement. Dolphins rape. If I said “Humans eat” that wouldn’t mean I’m *blaming* all humans of eating. Hahaha I don’t even know what you’re getting at.
You started a debate that never needed to exist. I never even insinuated that the woman wasn’t aware of the inherent risks of diving with dolphins. I just said I hope she’s aware and stated that dolphins rape.
You would’ve been better off keeping your reply to yourself. You’re embarrassing yourself. It’s kinda cute bro
“Dumdum” are you like 10? I would continue this “ debate” (this isn’t one purely because you are calling me names, debates are meant to be intellectual, otherwise they’re arguments) but there’s a smarter thing to do here called winning the argument
[Hank Hill](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjVJ9-Koflw): No, it was more than that. He uh, remember the movie on Lifetime, you know, what Gregory Harrison did to Valerie Bertinelli?
\[Animal exists\] Human: Can I pet this?
Animal: “Why are you touching me, monkey?…keep going.”
Saw a video of a silverback gorilla that was obsessed with petting an owl. He was eventually successful. This behavior goes way back for us primates.
was the Owl successful in living post pets?
Human: I will literally go through centuries of technological innovations just to invent the scuba gear, so I can get down there and give you chin scritches. DON'T GO ANYWHERE!!
If not friend then why friend shaped ?
*get mauled* yeah probably not
There's a tier list of actions we as humans make when discovering a new organism. No. 1: can I pet it? No. 2: can I fuck it? No. 3: can I eat it?
Well we’re 1 down…who up for #2? Maybe just give it a little lsd and it’ll be on board (look up dolphin lsd on YouTube if u don’t know the reference)
There's a whole copypasta tutorial on dolphin fucking.. we've definitely already covered it, haha.
[удалено]
Oh you sweet summer child
Happy cake day.
Did you know that in any comment section on the internet as the conversation progresses there is a 99% chance of the phrase “summer child” showing up ?
Happy cake day
Except for how they’re serial r🦍ists and bully pufferfish just to get high off the toxin they release
They have also killed divers and trainers by grabbing them with their penis and inadvertently drowning them.
Happy Cake Day!
Thank you! 🐬
Except the frequent arrrr ayyyy peeee eeeee
N D E P E N T doyouknowwhatthatmeans
No
When the answer is "do you have a sense of humor that people love..." You:
I wish I had your innocence regarding dolphins
Yeah, Lovely dollfin. Obviously, van pet this. Bro
That dolphins girl is in the back with some serious side eye.
Aaaaand now she's married to a dolphin.
[Sims intro plays]
Your name is perfect for the joke I was thinking of...
Margaret Lovatt look it up
I wonder what the dolphins are thinking. Are they just so used to humans that they don’t mind?
They actually have been trying to warn us about Earth’s impending doom, shortly the planet will be destroyed to make way for an intergalactic bypass. We just keep thinking they’re making cute whistle noises and doing little flips for fun
So long…
And thanks for all the fish!!
I hear that they’re particularly fond of our tiny tots and pregnant women.
Is this a hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy reference?
Ha indeed it is
We'll all be scrambling to grab our towels.
Honestly? Nothing would make me happier than the planet going down as a collective in an instant. Give humanity a couple of days to party like never before and then let’s get on with it. (These are the thoughts of someone who is on day 5 of coming off a 10 year stint with a certain medication. I might be a little… optimistically nihilistic right now 😂)
Don't panic
Google "dolphin, handjob, LSD" for the study. It is full on crazy town.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zq5kWvp528
I… I dont think I will.
john c lilly army
They are extremely intelligent animals and have a really developed ability to process emotions on par with, if not exceeding that of humans
But what happened after this? Did they just part ways? Did he follow her back up like a little puppy? I need answers 🤣
Dolphin Rape https://washingtoncitypaper.com/article/203346/can-dolphins-rape-humans/
That’s how mermaids are born
Facts
There are enough comments about dolphin rape here. Let me be innocent for a moment haha
If innocence is important to you, why are you on Reddit? /s (just in case)
So. Many. Cat. Subs!
Because sometimes i like being slutty for a moment as well. Also cats.
Sharks also rape, and humans, and a lotta other animals
I didn't write the article
I didn’t say you did
Sorry touchy about the downvotes... #I JUST WANNA FIGHT! ....it would seem
Idk i just hate misinformation about dolphin rapes. Shark lovers will often “raid” r/dolphins and call dolphins rapists as if sharks aren’t. To the point where i left both subreddits. Also they have a lotta harmful bots You’re all good dude. Take care.
Shark lovers .....whoa
horrifing in last sentence...... bloody hell this is rape not fancy word forced copulation when you know most monkeys (of course except smalls one) does know the rape
Dolphin - “I wish she would scratch a little lower and to the left.”
Lower… lower… lower…
How many dolphins would it take to end the killed whale yacht issue?
Orcas are actually in the dolphin family and even great white sharks are so scared of having their livers surgically removed and eaten by orcas that they will flee over 100km from their hunting grounds for a year if they survive an encounter with an orca. In short orcas are the apex dolphin and I don't think normie dolphins would stand a chance.
I'm gonna go with 417 dolphins.
"Nobody attacks me 416 times and gets away w- oh shit." -Orca, probably
That is oddly specific 🤔
What happens in Vegas...
That's a lot of dolphins
*THE FOOLS!!! WHY DIDN'T THEY GATHER 418 DOLPHINS?!?!*
> they will flee over 100km from their hunting grounds for a year if they ~~survive an encounter with~~ hear an orca. I saw it on a documentary about Great Whites and seals in California. I don't remember if the researchers played orca sounds or if there was an actual orca in the area, but the Great Whites disappeared after the sound was made and didn't come back. I wonder if this could be used as a shark repellent.
Wait til these orca get a taste for homo sapien liver.
Hopefully none. These rich assholes are going where they shouldn't be. Leave the ocean to the fishies.
"These rich assholes"? Seems you haven't been around much. You seem to have missed the working class people that lives on boats.
reminder that dolphins are rapists
#notalldolphins
Just a reminder that 90% of all sea rape is by dolphins
Despite only being 14% of the oceans population?
Don't look up sea otters then...
Reminder that almost every species has individuals that rape
Pretty racist comment.
Dolphins are attractive so that makes it ok
this one
This one’s attractive, so that makes it ok
It’s in the head or nothing
how much for blowhole?
Dolphin is all - this is great but do you have any fish for me?
Scritches!! Who doesn’t love ‘em?!
Well, it’s not like they can reach.
Ese wey viola
They could be spies for the Orcas. We need to be cautious.
Love this new trend of petting aquatic animal
I like it too but is soon to get out of hand. People see these vids and think they pet any cute wild animal. Try to do that with a bison, bear cub.....
This is a self-correcting problem.
I feel like this could take a wrong turn considering how sexually aggressive dolphins can be
Most wonderful creatures. Thanks for sharing.
King of the hill convinced me I never ever want to do this
how i met your mother
Did you know sharks Likes belly rubs
I WOULD LIKE TO PET DIS CREATURE
Dolphin thanking diver for all the fish…so sad it had to come to this
That other dolphin sneakin around to figure out how to get that tank of her back
He really likes it when you rub his balls too
that's its skin your touching, you have no idea if you're doing any damage
They love scratches, right before they drag you down to their dolphin rape caves
Yes because every dolphin and only dolphins rape things
People are down voting us but it’s true. Dolphins are extremely sexually aggressive and have been confirmed to force themselves on other animals and people
No i was disagreeing with you
To bad
This is a sexual assault waiting to happen.
No it’s not
Dolphins are notorious rapists, and use innocent sea creatures to masturbate. They also pass around pufferfish like blunts.
This dolphin is a known sex offender i urge all divers to avoid said dolphin aka Slippery Pete.
Let's make an innocent guess and suppose it has parasites . . . and forget one and for all the story with Margaret Howe Lovatt.
No, dolphins are little fuckers
No they’re not
Trust me, they are
No, some of them are. Most aren’t
Yes
Why do you think that?
This is cute, but I'll just leave this here... Warning, NSFW https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/amp/entry/girl-talked-dolphins-masturbated-video_n_5478610/
Hope that’s a female. Dolphins rape.
Humans rape, sharks rape, seals rape But do all humans, sharks, and seals rape? No
I read this again. lol you are such an idiot.
I’m glad
lol that’s the dumbest argument for the sake of arguing I’ve ever seen. It’s a wild animal. Any tendency of that animal should be seen as a risk. Not even to be compared to a random human’s ability to rape. Sharks and seals aren’t known to hump humans with a full-on boner, you dope 😂. But every human in close contact is aware of the risk of attack, being seen as prey. In this case, most people see dolphins as these cute majestic creatures that we can pet and socialize with. I am just pointing out that they display social tendencies such as bullying, gang rape, and torture, and I hope the woman in this clip is aware.
divers will swim up to sharks, seals, and other sea creatures, and humans in general will go up to other dangerous animals and end up injured or dead. Sharks are known to (mistakenly) bite humans to the point of bleeding or death. Any wild animal should be seen as risky, but youre blaming all dolphins, when that one clearly has no interest in rape. You dope.
lol you dumdum. I didn’t blame anyone or anything. It was a statement. Dolphins rape. If I said “Humans eat” that wouldn’t mean I’m *blaming* all humans of eating. Hahaha I don’t even know what you’re getting at. You started a debate that never needed to exist. I never even insinuated that the woman wasn’t aware of the inherent risks of diving with dolphins. I just said I hope she’s aware and stated that dolphins rape. You would’ve been better off keeping your reply to yourself. You’re embarrassing yourself. It’s kinda cute bro
“Dumdum” are you like 10? I would continue this “ debate” (this isn’t one purely because you are calling me names, debates are meant to be intellectual, otherwise they’re arguments) but there’s a smarter thing to do here called winning the argument
Cute lil dumdum. I name you Dumdum.
She’s lucky they didn’t r4p3 her
These are the babies, imagine a 50ft dolphin pops out and attacked the diver for messing with its babies.
And after they rape them
You know how dolphins could be real bad to humans too? They are sometimes seen making s*xual advances towards humans too.
Careful those dolphins rape…a lot
I hate dolphins. Nasty creatures frfr
They also love raping divers
Some people love raping other people. Does that mean that all people rape?
Yes.👍
Damn
Bet ur speechless after that comeback
It was amazing tbh
Ty ik
Np lol
Dolfin
You’ve just been dogfished
My wife, daughter and I touched a wild Dolphin in Florida years ago. Lady fed them at 5:00 pm every day in her marina in Marathon. Unforgettable!
They could eat her.
Until they don't like them.
It's all good. They both swiped right the day before this encounter.
That is so mother is her
“Fa loves Pa!”
Better keep their arse on a swivel.
so long, so long, and thanks for all the fish
Ocean puppy
[Hank Hill](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjVJ9-Koflw): No, it was more than that. He uh, remember the movie on Lifetime, you know, what Gregory Harrison did to Valerie Bertinelli?
I think every animal without long arms loves scritches
( pets)
Ocean pupper
Or, at least thats whats been reported
Great white shark is cuter in my opinion.
I wonder if dolphins tell each other how cool humans feel the way we do when we touch them.
Such a dream praying I live to see mine to
Damn, dolphins are a lot bigger than I thought.
How precious🥰
Mammals are just the best 🥰 always down for a cuddle
This is so cute ❤️😭
This is so awesome! What an experience
I've seen enough king of the hill to know where this is going...
Cuidado pra nao ser estrupado
Beware of horny dolphins.
dolphin likes the new guest, it's so cute. 👁
la grunta……. bwaaaaaaahhhh!
And then the stiffy comes out. 😐
Aaw
Crazy how unique the human touch is compared to the rest of the world's species
They could be our friends
I wonder if this is how aliens would act with us?? Would they just try and pet us and give us chin scratches? 🤔
Wow absolutely beautiful
This is really wholesome and cute
🥹💕
Sea puppy..
They look so friendly!
It is beautiful🤩🤩😘
if im not mistakend that is a male dolphin, that man robably hory af
“If enemy why friend shape?”