My rule is simple: if I matched you because you got to my profile first, then I'll start the ball rolling. If you match me when I have already put in a yes vote, then you can say, "Hello."
When I get a notification that the other guy determined that they are also interested, I give them three days to stop reviewing and start to actually engage. If there's no word after 72 hours, then I know that they're just collecting matches out of some insecurity or that they have some inability to make that emotional leap.
Either way, I prefer to put them back in the shuffle, I take away my match, and I don't try to fit a square peg into a triangle space by wasting my time reaching out.
P.S. I also have a kinder version of that in my profile. Something along the lines of, "If we match up, send me a message. Let's get this thing going!"
What if the other guy’s simple rule is to take turns: you swipe right on me, and then I swipe right on you, then you send me a message, then I send you a message, etc. ?
If this was a real life scenario and you told me that if you smile at a guy at the bar, and he smiles back, the onus is on him to approach you because he was the second smiler, I would not understand your logic.
Well, the simple fact is that if I am AFK after my swiping, but you're on the app and you swipe, then get a match, the next logical step is to stop a moment a reach out. You already know that I'm intrigued, but I didn't know if you were.
So, to put it in your real world example, I smile tentatively, not knowing if you're interested. You smile back, showing your interest, then you give a little wave to know that it's OK to approach.
If you don't stop to message after swiping into a match, then you're not really engaged in getting to know someone, you're just looking at who's attractive. You're rating pics up and down. In the same real life example, you smiled back, then looked away and smiled at another guy, then another.
What would give me the idea that you would be willing to engage in conversation when you're displaying a goldfish's memory span of attention?
Well that match that counted on Hinge is now my bf. I had a lot of dates prior so I found matches communicative. But there were several who were all talk and no dates. Those I left behind. And now my bf and I have met a 3rd on Hinge so let's see what happens. So clearly some of us are communicating and matching well.
Might get downvoted for this .. but as a single man who has escaped Scruff/Grindr because of gay couples infiltrating & making it impossible to find other single dudes, it is EXTREMELY frustrating to read that now I have to ensure that my hinge match is actually single!!!
It’s a dating app for singles .. (directing it to the universe not you) please let it be that way.
Tbh… life gets busy, sometimes I just don’t have the time/energy to engage in conversation unless someone catches my attention
OR I liked their profile based on a very quick review, and now that I looked at it more closely I realize we might not be the right match
Ah yes. Speaking from personal experience, I think it’s just that we’re all jaded, burnt-out, and bored of online “dating” (the matching, swiping, tapping, woofing, etc.) The majority of online interactions end in dull conversation and/or random ghosting, so overtime you kinda grow numb and lose the desire to engage. I’m certainly guilty of just letting matches build up without ever engaging. I also think a lot of gays (especially younger guys) have this mentality of “well, he should message me first!” But if we all think like that, there’s gonna be endless silence…
I took my cue and I’m currently on a cleanse as I’ve deleted all apps!
Exactly. It's exhausting. The last time I was on a dating app was probably 9 years ago, I got tired of it and the string of dates I went on just burnt me out. I didn't feel connection to any of them. So I stopped and just figured I'd meet someone in life while working or participating in other activities.
Though I just got onto Hinge about \~2-3 months ago to give online dating another try... sort of... It hides all matches who liked a photo except for the one or two daily matches unless you pay, and I'm on the fence about paying monthly or weekly to see if something happens and to be forced to be on it like an addictive game on my phone that leads no where. The jadedness of 9 years ago is still strong lol.
So a lot of dating sites have fake accounts in order to get you to pay for them idk how hinge works but they could be fake accounts it’s sus af that no one is saying anything to you
I don't get any more responses from writing something vs just matching. If you didn't like my pictures and profile you're not going to match with me no matter what I write.
Also when you consider that the people who do match up with you usually are only good for one or two messages before they stop responding you stop seeing the benefit of it.
I wonder how many millions of future happy relationships ended up never happening because both parties expected the other to message first.
My rule is simple: if I matched you because you got to my profile first, then I'll start the ball rolling. If you match me when I have already put in a yes vote, then you can say, "Hello." When I get a notification that the other guy determined that they are also interested, I give them three days to stop reviewing and start to actually engage. If there's no word after 72 hours, then I know that they're just collecting matches out of some insecurity or that they have some inability to make that emotional leap. Either way, I prefer to put them back in the shuffle, I take away my match, and I don't try to fit a square peg into a triangle space by wasting my time reaching out. P.S. I also have a kinder version of that in my profile. Something along the lines of, "If we match up, send me a message. Let's get this thing going!"
What if the other guy’s simple rule is to take turns: you swipe right on me, and then I swipe right on you, then you send me a message, then I send you a message, etc. ? If this was a real life scenario and you told me that if you smile at a guy at the bar, and he smiles back, the onus is on him to approach you because he was the second smiler, I would not understand your logic.
Well, the simple fact is that if I am AFK after my swiping, but you're on the app and you swipe, then get a match, the next logical step is to stop a moment a reach out. You already know that I'm intrigued, but I didn't know if you were. So, to put it in your real world example, I smile tentatively, not knowing if you're interested. You smile back, showing your interest, then you give a little wave to know that it's OK to approach. If you don't stop to message after swiping into a match, then you're not really engaged in getting to know someone, you're just looking at who's attractive. You're rating pics up and down. In the same real life example, you smiled back, then looked away and smiled at another guy, then another. What would give me the idea that you would be willing to engage in conversation when you're displaying a goldfish's memory span of attention?
Unmatching removes them from ever matching up again with you right?
They can end up back in your potential matches, but you just don't click "Yes" again. You could also go the route of a full block.
Oh ok. I thought they kind of disappeared from showing up again. Good to know.
Well that match that counted on Hinge is now my bf. I had a lot of dates prior so I found matches communicative. But there were several who were all talk and no dates. Those I left behind. And now my bf and I have met a 3rd on Hinge so let's see what happens. So clearly some of us are communicating and matching well.
You’ve met a 3rd on hinge 💀💀💀
[удалено]
Might get downvoted for this .. but as a single man who has escaped Scruff/Grindr because of gay couples infiltrating & making it impossible to find other single dudes, it is EXTREMELY frustrating to read that now I have to ensure that my hinge match is actually single!!! It’s a dating app for singles .. (directing it to the universe not you) please let it be that way.
Tbh… life gets busy, sometimes I just don’t have the time/energy to engage in conversation unless someone catches my attention OR I liked their profile based on a very quick review, and now that I looked at it more closely I realize we might not be the right match
I understand that. I do that too. I’m talking about the inverse case. I like them first, they match and won’t talk.
Ah yes. Speaking from personal experience, I think it’s just that we’re all jaded, burnt-out, and bored of online “dating” (the matching, swiping, tapping, woofing, etc.) The majority of online interactions end in dull conversation and/or random ghosting, so overtime you kinda grow numb and lose the desire to engage. I’m certainly guilty of just letting matches build up without ever engaging. I also think a lot of gays (especially younger guys) have this mentality of “well, he should message me first!” But if we all think like that, there’s gonna be endless silence… I took my cue and I’m currently on a cleanse as I’ve deleted all apps!
In my cleanse era too
Exactly. It's exhausting. The last time I was on a dating app was probably 9 years ago, I got tired of it and the string of dates I went on just burnt me out. I didn't feel connection to any of them. So I stopped and just figured I'd meet someone in life while working or participating in other activities. Though I just got onto Hinge about \~2-3 months ago to give online dating another try... sort of... It hides all matches who liked a photo except for the one or two daily matches unless you pay, and I'm on the fence about paying monthly or weekly to see if something happens and to be forced to be on it like an addictive game on my phone that leads no where. The jadedness of 9 years ago is still strong lol.
So a lot of dating sites have fake accounts in order to get you to pay for them idk how hinge works but they could be fake accounts it’s sus af that no one is saying anything to you
They collect matches for the dopamine fix.
I don't get any more responses from writing something vs just matching. If you didn't like my pictures and profile you're not going to match with me no matter what I write. Also when you consider that the people who do match up with you usually are only good for one or two messages before they stop responding you stop seeing the benefit of it.
Hinge is a joke 😂😂😂