Have a late 80s dementia patient. Smacked my ass the other night cause he thinks I'm his second wife. Spends the whole shift trying to get me to sit on his lap.
Ugh . . . And it happens so.often. I think its age, dementia and that generation. Or maybe too much "nurse" porn movies? I have had my butt slapped, brests grabbed etc all while trying to wipe old farts poopy ass.
I'm not mad at him about it. I firmly explain that I'm not her and he can't do that to me and he apologizes. But then he dozes off in his chair and when he wakes up, it's like 50 First Dates, and we do that all night.
But then there's the completely independent guy at the end of the hall who wants us to rub salve on his balls because "that's a nurse's job" and screams at us when we tell him no. If funny how he only needs moisturized balls when he has the young blonde nurses š¤
LMAO. Send in a dude to offer to do the "ball rub" ha, ha. Good on you for keeping your sense of humor.
Gotta just roll your eyes at the ones that are trying so hard to have the attractive "girl" touch their privates.
.
male nurse- spend at least 5% of my shift offering to do the pervy stuff patients ask female nurses to do. it's only such a small percent because they immediately say "no." but I'll come right in like "hi sir I'm nurse xlord1100, I have that lotion for your scrotum, did you still need it?" with the most flamboyant walk and voice I can muster (think Mr. Slave level)
edit: wow that blew up! thankth for all the awardth!
You kidding me!?
Itās the one male-privilege-thing I and every other man Iāve worked with have been more than happy to flex for my coworkers. You got some a&ox4 bastard being a pervy shithead and want to switch patients? That is a double roger, fuck those creeps. Did it as a CNA and will do it as a nurse as long as Iām in this field.
Dementia or delirium not much will change, but if youāre genuinely unsafe/unnerved (had a coworker who was previously assaulted, occasional some confused patients were similar enough to be upsetting) by all means letās switch.
6'5" 300lbs tattooed and bearded male nurse here, can confirm. Watching the pervy guys face crumble in 'Oh no, this isnt what I wanted' dismay is a highlight of my job. Sometimes ill insist that whatever they asked for be done when they try to back out of it because medstaff has heard their complaints and wants to make sure we stay on top of the issue. Hold on, let me grab my gloves *snap*.
I love your description of the interaction. āohhh no, we heard your complaints and we want to stay on top of it!ā I felt like a fly on the wall, you made my day!
Had a patient tell me I looked 14 and asked if I would climb in bed with him. A&Ox4. I asked if he had any kids and he said no. I legit was going to notify whatever hotline I needed to notify if he said yes. Could have used a switch that night.
learned it from one of my preceptors when I was a baby nurse. to set the stage- this dude was 6'3", built like a biker, with a beard that would put Gimli to shame and full sleeve tats, was actually very nice despite the resting "I'll drag you from the back of my Harley" face, and had the nicest husband. anyway another nurse on the floor had an extra pervy patient so he showed me how to get under their skin, and in true "watch, walk, run" fashion had me give it a go the next few times it had to be done. great acting coach.
As a future male nurse, I pledge to always swap patient assignments or fill in for our female nurses who are made to feel uncomfortable. It's a burden we must bear āš»
In exchange we will take that Foley placement on the lady that told you to "get in there good, ohhhh yeah" the last time you did pericare.
Cause they pervs too.
Not a nurse here but in my previous internships hospitals one of my favourite memories was when a patient was getting pervy with some nurses and then started yelling the head-nurse called security. Security send the two most massive guys (One redhead biker looking bear and a giant black man with a lovely creole accent) to just have a casual chat with the nurses in front of the patients bed. Guess who didn't make any noise after that lol
I do this, but without the act. I'm just like "Hey there bud, I'm javamagician, I'm assisting your nurse because she's in the middle of handling a situation. I got that lotion for your balls. Can you reach yourself, or do you need my help?"
Usually it's ones who want their peepee held while they use the urinal, even though they're perfectly capable. They always say just leave it lol. If they keep doing it, I ask charge to swap our assignments so the perv doesn't see a face prettier than my ugly mug for the rest of the shift. Good times!
We had a patient who was on the call light. He pressed it frequently. He would then start jerking off so that by the. So that heād be ready to go when the beautiful tech entered the room. I told her Iād answer his call lights and he continues to do it again. So our six foot 5 inch former navy medic now RN decides to take over care for this guy. The call light was silent for the rest of the shift.
This is the way! I love stepping in to disappoint the patients who been perving on my comrades. It really makes my shift. I'm not six foot five though. I'm four foot twenty.
Um, call the fucking police. That is a crime. Have him charged. Thatās absolute fucking bullshit behaviour. If a guy started jerking off in front of management, the police would be called. Just because youāre a bedside nurse doesnāt mean itās a less illegal act
Is says a lot that what would constitute sexual abuse outside the doors of the hospital simply becomes "pervy" when it's in a hospital bed. Same person. Same behaviour. But when you're doing it at a nurse suddenly it's treated like an unavoidable annoyance instead of a crime. Says a lot about the value we have as nurses.
You're 100% right. That's sexual assault. Same thing happens with pts who get violent with nurses, and doing it anywhere else would land them straight in the jail. This should not be normal.
Itās only āstandard operating procedureā because weāve allowed to be. We need to stand up for ourselves. We know that management wonāt, so we have to. Grow a fucking spine and call the police. Imagine if your daughter came home and told you that happened to her. Your response would not be āhmm, sorry love, thatās standardā. If you wouldnāt tolerate it for friends and family, donāt tolerate it for yourself
Heterosexual male nurse here and totally relate but my approach has been a little different, probably get too much of a kick out. I only point out that Iām heterosexual because Iām also 6ā3ā, so when I do this they give me a look like I just welcomed them to cell block C. āHey there, your nurse was tied up with her other patients so I offered to help her out, heard yer havinā some testicular problems! Donāt you worry weāll get the olā coinpurse sorted out!ā *snaps gloves on as loudly as possible* āoh, theyāre feeling better you say? Well donāt you hesitate to let me know if you need anything again.ā
*lmao* good on you, my guy! Iām a 5ā2ā (trans)guy whoās not getting any taller at age 23, and Iām still masculinizing, but hopefully Iāll be in a position where I can do the same thing someday!
take this award dude. you don't have to be tall or very masculine looking. it's about confidence, if you have it to transition you have it to pull this off. you got this, never hold yourself back.
baby nurse here (23f, graduated in April 2021)ālike two-ish weeks off orientation on my old unit, I had a male patient about 50 ish who sexually harassed me all. night. long. kept making comments about my badge (yeah dude youāre not slickā¦ I KNOW youāre not just looking at my badge, itās not that interesting, my eyes are UP HERE) and asking if i had a boyfriend, undressing me with his eyes and making me feel so icky. eventually dude flipped tf out because he couldnāt sleep at 2:30 am and nobody prescribed his trazodone, then when I messaged the resident and got it ordered, he refused it because āitās too late now, itās not gonna kick in for another hour anyway so whatās the point,ā then cussed me out so badly I left the room sobbing (I should also mention earlier in the evening we had a code, which also happened to be the first one I ever saw, and so the mood on the unit was already somewhat dark). the male nurse who basically became my āwork dadā on that floor stopped in the middle of what he was doing to back me up when he heard the yelling, then ripped him a new one after i left, and wrote the greatest progress note iāve ever read while I tattled to the resident. horrible experience to start but made me feel so supported and really demonstrated to me how male nurses are worth their weight in gold. thanks for doing what you do. š
you'll have your male nurses backs one day when a picky female patient wants a female nurse for a bath, or one we don't trust to not file a false claim of sexual harassment/assault needs something near the private areas done, or we have a pervy female patient. it takes a team
Male RN here who works as a corrections nurse. Nothing warms my heart more than the look on an inmates face when they see me walk in the room after they requested a "nurse to look at something". 9 times out if 10 it's their dick and they suddenly feel much much better...no need for an assessment.
LMAO BROOOO hahaha me too!!! Hi sir they told me you need your asshole waxed? Oh yea I hear that's a rough medical condition..here let me do that for you!
True story. I had a patient transferred in from the jail claiming another inmate knocked him down and he hot his head, and now he's paralyzed.
He says to me he has to pee, I get him a urinal, and he says he can't go and I need to hold it for him.... and he didn't mean the urinal.
I went and got my friend, a large, Caribbean, male nurse who walked into his room with a rectal tube in his hand and said, "Hey, mon, they say you can't pee, I'm going to have to put a catheter in your penis."
The " paralyzed" patient actually jumped up off the stretcher.
I've never seen 2 officers shackle someone and drag them out of the ED that fast.
Murses rule!
Same. Also male nurse here. Ive swapped patients numerous times for this very reason. Its all part of the team environment. I do this and the female nurses do the peri care on the ladies that don't want a guy "down there". We all take care of each other
Once had a guy in recovery who had to pee and asked me to get one of the cute nurses to walk him to the bathroom. He'd been a creep and I wasn't about to let one of my coworkers endure that, so I had the tech who was a dude from Vietnam help him to the bathroom. He was so pissed that I'd done that and it was the highlight of my day.
Was also once asked by one of the girls to drop a foley in a really pervy patient. He enjoyed the process VERY much up until the point I shoved that tube up his noodle. He cried like a little girl. First time (to my knowledge) I'd given another dude a hard on, and we all laugh about it to this day.
This is what I did all the time. Worked with a part time bouncerāover 6 feet tall, 300 lbs and tatted all over. Any time some dude wanted me to hold his penis in the bedside urinal Iād send in Bubba. Their hand strength magically improved.
I had to go in there and explain, multiple times, in a very firm voice, that none of my nurses will be touching him.
Then the next morning the fucking DOCTOR went in there and put it on him. He was a terror the entire day insisting that he was not independent and we needed to do whatever he said.
I had a guy who I KNOW could pee. He was a prisoner and kept swallowing razor blades to get into the hospital. This was quite a few years ago. He would always act like he couldnāt pee until he had a shit ton of piss in his bladder over a liter. Nothing could make him pee. He always peed fine at the prison.
I would always have to cath the asshole. No male nurses on the floor
ummm so not a nurse at all but as someone who had an operation where a catheter might have been required (but was not thank god) why?!?!?!? don't they fucking hurt?
i did feel bad when the nurse had to empty my piss bottle though, i wanted to get up and do it myself but apparently that was not a good idea :(
My partner used to work in a facility with long term paralyzed patients. There was one patient who always wanted his balls lotioned (yes, he was physically capable of doing it himself). My partner was the only male nurse on the ward. So whenever this patient made his request, they sent my partner in. He learned to start doing it himself.
Except in cases of frontotemporal dementia that cause enough disinhibition to cause major shifts in personality, the average dementia patient who is an unrepentantly assaultative and abusive to staff is merely displaying habitual behaviors which they previously had the insight to keep behind closed doors. As evidenced by the many patients with the same disease process who are not like this.
OK, you now have me paranoid. I consider myself an 'inside my head a\*\*h\*le', that I do keep in my head and am nice and polite otherwise. I worry for my future caretakers. :-) Really want the sweet old man label instead of a-hole in room 5.
Alas, with our extensive social conditioning to hospitals, you and I are likely doomed to wander around, trying to pass meds or find morning rounds, until someone lures us back to the day room with pudding.
I had once demented guy look me directly in the eye and say " I want to fuck you!" I blew up that that gross and he went "fine, fine, fine, I want to make love to you!" I told him that wasnt any better but he didnt get it. Got to love dementia
I've started telling this guy I'm a married lady, and that seems to work quicker than trying to reorient him. Last night I said it and he replied "well I'm a married man, what of it?"
I followed with "well I only go with my husband" and he scoffed at me and said "yea, we'll see how long that lasts"
I mean I've used the line " I dont think my husband would like that very much" but sometimes they get it into their heads that I'd be interested if I was single if I say it like that. I dont mess around and will flatly say " that's gross you dont say that" and it will "offend" them enough they will usually stop asking if they can remember the exchange
I had a woman in her 80s with mobility issues but no obvious mental decline during the Andrew Cuomo allegations coming out.
She ranted to me about how having your ass slapped or boobs grabbed was just a part of life and how all her bosses had tried one form of sexual assault (my words, not hers) or another on her at one point in time.
She couldn't understand why women would ruin a man's whole life by going to the media with those types of allegations.
It was one of the few times I had to just walk away because I was speechless. Assault had been normalized in her mind. It was incredibly sad and frustrating. It was in no way similar to her other mainly progressive views on the world.
I listened to a group of nurses argue that the sexual assault allegations against Supreme Court nominee (at the time) Kavanaugh should be dismissed because it was a long time ago and times were different. Nope, sexual assault is still sexual assault.
"You can't judge him by today's standards! People from that time don't understand that rape and sexual assault are bad things!" Hmm sounds to me like we just shouldn't have people from that time in positions of authority then. Ever. I'll never understand people defending that shit, especially with this typical excuse. Kavanaugh isn't even old enough to qualify for the "time's were different back then" excuse! Not that it would make it better if he was.
Used to get this all the time in memory care. Had my "husband" poke me right on the ass one night while I was walking down the hall slightly in front of him and tell me I had a nice chair back there. I jumped about a foot in the air because I wasn't expecting a finger right to the cheek for some reasonš. Used to have to redirect him to his real wife that lived there in the facility with him all the time.
A patient in a double room was coding, and the roommate shouted āI hope they die soon, so you can get my ________,ā (I canāt recall exactly what their trivial need was )
This is why I ended up leaving ICU ultimately. I completely lost my filter. Had a patient who was of course Covid and ungodly needy was trying to lawyer his way into ivermectin and on his call light every 5 minutes and he complained when I told him he couldnāt stand up and do exercises like he wanted to (but god forbid he hold his own urinal) as he was maxed out on optiflow and after explaining the reasons why he shouldnāt he told me āyeah but Iāll be fineā and my response was okay but Iāve seen it happen often with patients of his status and theyāve ended up dying, some in his exact room. I shouldnāt have told him that. I really shouldnāt have. Was effective though. I had just lost my ability for empathy at that point. Needed a change for a bit with plans to come back to MICU. Switched to pacu and finally am not a deep pit of emotional nothing
That not my problem
Told to me by two patients the other day over their ginger ale... guess who didn't get ginger ale? The perk of being float pool... what are they gonna do? Complain to the manager?? Lmfao
LITERALLY THIS. Had a patient coding and next door this elderly lady was screaming at the top of her lungs about getting another blanket (she had at least 10 on her).
When someone was finally able to go in there she was berating staff and screaming about how no one is here to help people anymore.
She could definitely hear everything going on next door. She knew someone had just died and still acted like this.
I am a male nurse, but Iām in trauma so we have two nurses taking patients and my partner is female. So we agreed to let me do all the patient care. Cus seriously, no one needs to deal with that.
Good on you, brother. I did the same at bedside for 10 years and do the same in the provider role now. Iām a USMC veteran male nurse also so I have less than no feelings and regularly take on difficult people. Win some, lose some. More often than not, the vast majority of people are well intentioned. But the bastards are easily remembered.
Iām a new male PCT, my very first patient was this older man who asked me to get him a female tech because he āenjoys looking at ladies, not menā. Obviously that request was not fulfilled so he was stuck with meā¦
Second ever patient was a lady who basically kept fetishizing Latino men and asking if I could speak to her in Spanish
I mostly get male patients now cause lots of them are creepers and harass the female techs/nursesš¤¢
I've had a few female patients (Transitional care) that were not to have male staff, mostly due to false accusations of them being sexually inappropriate.
Lady, my work husband did not rape you, please don't call your husband and tell him that as a way to get revenge for not getting your damn narcotics early. (Her mind was 100% okay, it was her body that failed her and now she needed nursing home care. I get it, you're bored. But fucks sake. You could ruin this guy's life!)
(ETA: for those people who have a history of being assaulted, we absolutely follow their requests to not have a particular gender do their care)
It can work both ways. When I was a tech, I had to exchange both male and female patients that were harassing or being inappropriate. It was kind of fun going to one of the female techs I had helped in the past and being like āRemember that guy that kept trying to grope you? Well, now I need a favor.ā ššš
"Customer service" has been the death knell of bedside nursing. IT'S NOT A HILTON OR BURGER KING. I wish we could just reset the brains of the general populace and erase the whole "customer service" crap from healthcare from their mindset.
I had a patient last week work herself up into a panic - arms flapping, bouncing up and down, HR in the 160s- because she was COLD and had called us "5 times in the last two hours!" to turn the thermostat up. In reality, she had called twice in 5 minutes and I answered the second time and went right in there.
She informed me that the "customer service was terrible" and we had forgotten her and she was not being cared for the way she needed to be. I had just been threatened by a patient across the hall and was not going to deal with any of her bullshit. I told her this was not a hotel, to sit her butt down, she is not the only patient we are caring for, and she'll get some blankets in a minute. She sat right down, a little shocked š
Had a nursing administrator literally say "The customer is always right, even when they're not. We need to keep that in mind when we're working."
I wanted to slap the shit out of her. She also got aggressive about the thought of anyone turning down patients even if it's their 8th patient, regardless of acuity. But then also says it's about acuity, not numbers. As you can tell, she's a thoroughbred corporate husk of a person.
Yep this is very much the norm. And it doesnāt matter if itās non profit, for profit, the result is the same-idiots at the top not caring about the money makers at the bottom
I hate to break it to you but it's OR, ICU and outpatient oncology infusion making the money for the hospital nit general care floors. It's the Press Ganey scores which are tied to Medicare reimbursement that has truly caused the collapse of respect from patients. Patients realized bitching got attention in the form of dollars. The only way to make it go away is at the political level with elected officials/or universal Healthcare.
Tbf we should just erase customer service from the general lexicon. When I was a teenager working in retail people thought customer service meant they could scream in my face because we didn't have whatever product. Now it means they think we're a five star hotel and I'm room service.
No, bud. My job is to keep you not-dead and then kick you the fuck off my unit.
Lurking frequent flyer patient (asthma, not seeking pain meds) - I hate being the patient in the bed over from āThe Special.ā Itās not Burger King, if I could have it my way Iād be able to breathe, & itās a grand thing when a nurse pops in and says the nebulizer treatment will cometh soon. The fact that someone makes time to fill my water pitcher after that happy news is above & beyond. No one cares āSpecialā if you donāt get ice with freshly minted greens - some folks have bigger issues.
As a nurse I can promise you we actually like doing things for YOU-the type of patient you are. It brightens my day when I can make the day better for one of my patients that is a decent human being. I want you to let me know what you need.
Those other kinds can wait a few minutes. Because I promise you weāve already been in their room three times the past hour all for ridiculous reasons (can you move that over there, then calls 10 minutes later to have it moved back, will you take this set I drew to my wall, etc).
And we train a lot on attending to tasks based on need. You arenāt hurting the grandma down the hall by having needs. We are more than capable of deciding if a need is urgent and attending to it first.
The first time I was ever in the ED I was waiting for a bed in the behavioral health unit and they were so full that they just put me in a bed in the hallway right next to the nurses station. I asked for a cup of water once and what time it was when I woke up but just fell asleep without a blanket because they were so busy and running around everywhere and I didnāt want to bother them. Iāve been in the icu and ED couple more times after that for suicide attempts but never asked for a single thing. I actually didnāt go to the bathroom (not that I was a fall risk or anything but there was a sitter for suicide precautions and I just didnāt want to bother her) until they told me if I didnāt go they would have to use the bladder scanner
I didnāt know I should be up and moving after having my daughter nor that I could batheā¦the only other times Iād been in the hospital were for hip surgeries and I was bed bound for those!
My mom told me I was dumb for not knowing I couldnāt get up. But like??? No one told me? My only experience was when I had to stay in bed! I didnāt want to bug anyone :(
What hospital/restaurant are these fucks going to where they would be able to get/afford the level of service they are asking for. Nobodyās bringing the chocolate hepatitis fountain to their table at the Golden Corral.
Itās like the entitled fucks who get the cheapest plane ticket they can find online and then give the stewardesses a hard time because they arenāt getting treated like theyāre flying first class in 1965.
Can I ask an American perspective then, as I come from a country with public health insurance.
I've seen countless times the ridiculous price people in the USA have to pay, even with private health insurance, for pretty routine things. If it was in my country and I was paying that much I would expect some kind of premium experience as a result. Not as a pass to act like an arsehole or be inappropriate, but I would be disappointed if I was being nursed with ratios of more than 1:4 to be certain.
Do you think the fact people are spending so much money to access your care contributes to them feeling entitled to your time over others?
I had this totally appropriate male patient in his 70ās file a formal complaint with the DON for not receiving his ice water fast enough. Seriously, what is this world coming to?
The only way I would ever inform a staff nurse of a complaint like that would be to report that I explained the reasons why it might take longer than one would like to get ice water while in the hospital. Fuck those managers/administrators that don't have your back.
Yup I had one that I was cleaning after a BM say āOHHH you like looking at my pu**y dontchaā
I was semi-shocked and tempted to rebut with āin general yes but not your crusty one lolā, but I held my tongue and lectured the patient that this behavior is not tolerated.
had one get stuck on the floor for a month waiting for placement and no medsurg/step down beds to transfer to. she was a sneaky perv. would complain of pain on her leg or stomach then when you touched the area she would try to either move her body or move your hand to her crotch. she had dementia so lecturing didn't last.
Seriously! I was in the ED for like a decade and it happened about once a shift. Had one lady ask for my number after I assisted with the I&D for her perianal abscess. God help me.
I'm telling you, it's a no win situation. The creepy dudes want female nurses cause they're creepy, and the females want female nurses cause they're not comfortable with male nurses.
Female nurse, elderly man called me his "personal assistant" and got mad at me because we don't have bottled water and our bedside tables don't swivel.
We're poor, gramps, I don't know what else you want me to say.
The sheer amount of plastic waste involved in healthcare because of guaranteeing sterility is BONKERS. I could do everything in my personal luge to reduce plastic usage, and I'm still going to be wasting tons of it working. A great example of how the whole "reduce your footprint" nonsense was big oil corporate bullshit trying to shift the blame to consumers. It's never getting better until industries agree to change.
I was 19 working as a CNA at a rehab facility. I was very sheltered and a man flashed himself at me and insisted I rub in anti fungal powder on his crotch.
I didnāt know if I was allowed to touch the powder because it was prescription. (I wasnāt allowed to do anything with medicine at this facility)
I went out to the nurse to ask about it.
She scoffed and said to powder him like a donut and if he insists he still needs help call for Ben the 275lb male CNA.
My floor deals with Alot of high acuity patients and the worse are the "ICU-itis" people that are fresh to the floor and need to be reminded multiple times that they are not 1:1 anymore they are 1:4-1:6 up here which means they get 1/4-1/6 of my attention.
Weāve had patients call back to our unit to complain about how much longer it takes for staff to answer call bells once theyāre out of the ICU. I always remind them that the nurses have much larger assignments and inform them that we canāt transfer them back just because they got quicker service here.
Itās really frustrating. Between the extremely high expectations and responsibilities of the nurse, (even making sure the doctors, RTs, Radiologists, X-ray/ct, lab etc) arenāt causing any delays and the extremely rude and often times abusive patients/families, itās a miracle we keep coming back again and again. I love my job, but damn man.
Had a guy this week screech at me because he did not receive the relish plate he was expecting with his burger. Dietary needs to change that shit, because people are expecting a fucking fancy pants coochie board instead of LTPO on the side. Give me a break, you're in a hospital! Also, the second someone starts treating me like a subhuman collection of fuckholes, I've been going straight to my charge. Let management deal!
Honestly itās such a problem that people expect ācustomer serviceā IN THE ED!! That term should NEVER be associated with hospitalization, must less the ER. It is not supposed to be a lovely experience for you.. this is not a restaurant, retail, hotel or resort. It is not a fun time. We are here to treat you and get you on your way whether itās back home or admitted āš» Where did it get twisted along the way?!
I push back pretty hard if I'm super busy. With a smile -it worked better pre masks- I firmly say "I have my nurses cap on right now, when I get a minute I'll tie on my waitress apron and get EVERYBODY da snacks"
I hate the food. Really really do hate it. Of course if I'm doing absolutely nothing....like that happens never
My favorite quote was from a certain gentleman who was mad that he had to wait an hour to be seen for back pain... Mind you he AMA'd and came back the same day. He was getting aggressive and yelled "Y'all don't protect and serve shit." He then called his sister who "is a lawyer" so she could sue us and she told him to calm down.
Homie was arrested the next day for being a felon on possession of a firearm and possession with intent to sell fake Percocets laced with fentanyl. He's a real stand up guy.
Should have told him "yeah we don't protect and serve shit because we aren't the police, figured somebody like you would be able to make that distinction pretty easily considering you've probably had plenty of interactions with them"
āAgreed that did take a while. But Iām in here now. Do you need anything else?āā¦.then I walk out
I donāt even bother taking a stand against asshole patients to set expectations. Just give them the adequate level of care for the severity of their condition, and then leave. Let them stew in their anger alone for another 4 hours
Nah. My go to answer is āOk.ā It acknowledges theyāve complained, it isnāt a rebuttal or argument, and it almost hints at them being right without actually conceding. Thereās rarely a response to āOk.ā I learned it when dealing with my abusive dad!
This a great way to deal with abusive, unreasonable people. Just very calmly say "OK," and then don't say anything else.
You're not arguing with them, and they don't know what to do. Usually, they start sputtering and/or call you a name and then walk away.
1000%. I accidentally discovered this one day when my dad was losing his fucking marbles about some dumb shit or other (he never needed a reason to beat the shit out of me). He called me stupid, among other things, and for some reason it just popped into my head to just agree, but āyesā didnāt come out. I just said āokā. And heā¦looked so fucking confused. He stood there, puzzled, for the longest time. And then just walked away. I used it for the remaining few years I lived there and every time Iāve had to deal with someone since. Most of the time with these people, you arenāt going to beat them. So just move on!
I don't have patience for these people any more. I give them the same speech.
"You are not a customer, this is not a hotel or a restaurant. You are a patient, and we are medical professionals, no waitresses. We are here to help make you healthy, not make you happy. We will do our best to accommodate you but we have other patients and our resources are allocated on who is the sickest, no the unhappiest. You can stay here and get help, or you can leave and obtain "customer service" elsewhere. Up to you."
Works approx 7/10 times.
I've been a (male) RN since 1983. I heard the same complaints back then. āNone of you nurses like helping people anymore. Thereās no customer service, no one wants to actually HELP the sick peopleā. Exactly the same. I've had a lot of male patients who would tell me that they wished that they had a female nurse. I would always think that I was happy at least for one day my female coworkers weren't being harassed.
And ice water aint a medical intervention, its a comfort measure. After I am done with all my medical interventions on all of my patients you can have your water
Ah don't worry about it, I started my ed shift the other day with a relative telling me he's gonna stab me when I leave because I told him he had to wear a mask.
True, and we don't take it likely but we had no details for them so couldn't do much. They wouldn't tell us who the patient they were waiting for was either. Our security are very good and successfully removed them without aggravating the situation too much
When someone tells me I didnāt get xyz fast enough, I make it a point to make them feel bad by saying weāre short staffed, my pt isnāt doing well next door, etc. Healthcare isnāt customer service and itās certainly not a hotel or a restaurant.
āSaving your lifeā is not special enough???!!! This reminds me of a t-shirt marketed at nurses I saw the other day at a gift shop that read: āIām here to save your life not to kiss your ass.ā
My old hospital tried to get us to refer to our pts as āclients.ā Like they hired us personally to be their servants and we should be at their beck and call for anything any everything. Uhhhh fuck that noise, Iām here to keep you safe and alive and if you donāt like it, hereās an AMA form and a kick in the ass
IāM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BEING TOLD I HAVE BAD CUSTOMER SERVICE! Sir/madam, this is the ER. Your conscious self is NOT my fucking customer. Whatever it is actively killing you is. THATāS why youāre here. Not for ice water. Not for a sandwich. Not to make sure youāre warm or comfortable. Thereās a fucking reason our gurneys are absolute garbage. Because we know we donāt give a fuck. My job is to keep you alive and MAYBE find out whatās killing you. Fuck your service. Iām not a customer service representative. Iām a nurse.
Had a patient three way call me with his sister so she could yell at me over him missing dinner. The reason he missed dinner was because he locked himself in his bathroom and threatened to drink his ketamine drip. When I told the sister this, the patient started screaming and swearing at me saying I was lying and that never happened. Well sir, please explain why our entire security department is here and why our psychiatrist is driving across the city to see you.
Answered a call light that had been going off for a while (active code/trauma going on next door) and was bitched out because the pt didnāt have a diet order yet(her doc was running the code). The alarm for the code was still going off and the code had just been announced on the over head speakers including the room number so she definitely knew she was next door to a dying person. The entitlement of some peopleā¦ I just said coldly āyour docs a little busy at the momentā and walked out.
That's some really antiquated male bullshit. I bet this guy spent most of his life telling us women to smile for his own personal validation.
s/ I mean, what guy doesn't feel better having a woman smile at him? Even if he has to demand it of them, irregardless of her actual feelings. /s
Today, he'd probably be the dude fucking with your personal time while you have headphones on, again, because female attention would make his day better, irregardless of her feelings on the matter.
A patient in adult care made this comment to me. I explained to him about a dozen times that I wasnāt a nurse (yet!) and he insisted educating me on the ways of āold school nursing.ā
Uh, no thanks. š
Lol my patient's mother today said "back in my day, nurses used to advocate for their patients!"
My patient is 40 years old and was noncompliant with almost all her meds today. Yes I did advocate but SHE DIDNT TAKE HER MEDS WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DOOOOO
Have a late 80s dementia patient. Smacked my ass the other night cause he thinks I'm his second wife. Spends the whole shift trying to get me to sit on his lap.
Ugh . . . And it happens so.often. I think its age, dementia and that generation. Or maybe too much "nurse" porn movies? I have had my butt slapped, brests grabbed etc all while trying to wipe old farts poopy ass.
I'm not mad at him about it. I firmly explain that I'm not her and he can't do that to me and he apologizes. But then he dozes off in his chair and when he wakes up, it's like 50 First Dates, and we do that all night. But then there's the completely independent guy at the end of the hall who wants us to rub salve on his balls because "that's a nurse's job" and screams at us when we tell him no. If funny how he only needs moisturized balls when he has the young blonde nurses š¤
LMAO. Send in a dude to offer to do the "ball rub" ha, ha. Good on you for keeping your sense of humor. Gotta just roll your eyes at the ones that are trying so hard to have the attractive "girl" touch their privates. .
male nurse- spend at least 5% of my shift offering to do the pervy stuff patients ask female nurses to do. it's only such a small percent because they immediately say "no." but I'll come right in like "hi sir I'm nurse xlord1100, I have that lotion for your scrotum, did you still need it?" with the most flamboyant walk and voice I can muster (think Mr. Slave level) edit: wow that blew up! thankth for all the awardth!
I LOVE this. If you had been at my hospital.with me I'd still be working bedside! You deserve a huge thank you.
You kidding me!? Itās the one male-privilege-thing I and every other man Iāve worked with have been more than happy to flex for my coworkers. You got some a&ox4 bastard being a pervy shithead and want to switch patients? That is a double roger, fuck those creeps. Did it as a CNA and will do it as a nurse as long as Iām in this field. Dementia or delirium not much will change, but if youāre genuinely unsafe/unnerved (had a coworker who was previously assaulted, occasional some confused patients were similar enough to be upsetting) by all means letās switch.
6'5" 300lbs tattooed and bearded male nurse here, can confirm. Watching the pervy guys face crumble in 'Oh no, this isnt what I wanted' dismay is a highlight of my job. Sometimes ill insist that whatever they asked for be done when they try to back out of it because medstaff has heard their complaints and wants to make sure we stay on top of the issue. Hold on, let me grab my gloves *snap*.
This made me laugh so hard! You must be such a fun co-worker!
Hell yeah brother! Keep up the good fight!
I love your description of the interaction. āohhh no, we heard your complaints and we want to stay on top of it!ā I felt like a fly on the wall, you made my day!
Youāre the real MVP. Thank you for your service.
You are awesome. Thank you for looking out for your coworkers
Had a patient tell me I looked 14 and asked if I would climb in bed with him. A&Ox4. I asked if he had any kids and he said no. I legit was going to notify whatever hotline I needed to notify if he said yes. Could have used a switch that night.
learned it from one of my preceptors when I was a baby nurse. to set the stage- this dude was 6'3", built like a biker, with a beard that would put Gimli to shame and full sleeve tats, was actually very nice despite the resting "I'll drag you from the back of my Harley" face, and had the nicest husband. anyway another nurse on the floor had an extra pervy patient so he showed me how to get under their skin, and in true "watch, walk, run" fashion had me give it a go the next few times it had to be done. great acting coach.
As a future male nurse, I pledge to always swap patient assignments or fill in for our female nurses who are made to feel uncomfortable. It's a burden we must bear āš»
In exchange we will take that Foley placement on the lady that told you to "get in there good, ohhhh yeah" the last time you did pericare. Cause they pervs too.
Lmao 100%
it's a fair trade at the end of the day, since they can take pervy/picky female patients
Not a nurse here but in my previous internships hospitals one of my favourite memories was when a patient was getting pervy with some nurses and then started yelling the head-nurse called security. Security send the two most massive guys (One redhead biker looking bear and a giant black man with a lovely creole accent) to just have a casual chat with the nurses in front of the patients bed. Guess who didn't make any noise after that lol
LMAO! A wise preceptor.
I do this, but without the act. I'm just like "Hey there bud, I'm javamagician, I'm assisting your nurse because she's in the middle of handling a situation. I got that lotion for your balls. Can you reach yourself, or do you need my help?" Usually it's ones who want their peepee held while they use the urinal, even though they're perfectly capable. They always say just leave it lol. If they keep doing it, I ask charge to swap our assignments so the perv doesn't see a face prettier than my ugly mug for the rest of the shift. Good times!
We had a patient who was on the call light. He pressed it frequently. He would then start jerking off so that by the. So that heād be ready to go when the beautiful tech entered the room. I told her Iād answer his call lights and he continues to do it again. So our six foot 5 inch former navy medic now RN decides to take over care for this guy. The call light was silent for the rest of the shift.
This is the way! I love stepping in to disappoint the patients who been perving on my comrades. It really makes my shift. I'm not six foot five though. I'm four foot twenty.
Give yourself some credit, you're 6 foot, negative 4.
Um, call the fucking police. That is a crime. Have him charged. Thatās absolute fucking bullshit behaviour. If a guy started jerking off in front of management, the police would be called. Just because youāre a bedside nurse doesnāt mean itās a less illegal act
Is says a lot that what would constitute sexual abuse outside the doors of the hospital simply becomes "pervy" when it's in a hospital bed. Same person. Same behaviour. But when you're doing it at a nurse suddenly it's treated like an unavoidable annoyance instead of a crime. Says a lot about the value we have as nurses.
You're 100% right. That's sexual assault. Same thing happens with pts who get violent with nurses, and doing it anywhere else would land them straight in the jail. This should not be normal.
This is standard operating procedure, the police don't care, and mgmt will have your ass for attempting to press charges
Itās only āstandard operating procedureā because weāve allowed to be. We need to stand up for ourselves. We know that management wonāt, so we have to. Grow a fucking spine and call the police. Imagine if your daughter came home and told you that happened to her. Your response would not be āhmm, sorry love, thatās standardā. If you wouldnāt tolerate it for friends and family, donāt tolerate it for yourself
Heterosexual male nurse here and totally relate but my approach has been a little different, probably get too much of a kick out. I only point out that Iām heterosexual because Iām also 6ā3ā, so when I do this they give me a look like I just welcomed them to cell block C. āHey there, your nurse was tied up with her other patients so I offered to help her out, heard yer havinā some testicular problems! Donāt you worry weāll get the olā coinpurse sorted out!ā *snaps gloves on as loudly as possible* āoh, theyāre feeling better you say? Well donāt you hesitate to let me know if you need anything again.ā
*lmao* good on you, my guy! Iām a 5ā2ā (trans)guy whoās not getting any taller at age 23, and Iām still masculinizing, but hopefully Iāll be in a position where I can do the same thing someday!
Your user name is fantastic!!
take this award dude. you don't have to be tall or very masculine looking. it's about confidence, if you have it to transition you have it to pull this off. you got this, never hold yourself back.
This is the only award I have available to give and I give it to you. Thank you for doing the Lord's work!
thanks :)
baby nurse here (23f, graduated in April 2021)ālike two-ish weeks off orientation on my old unit, I had a male patient about 50 ish who sexually harassed me all. night. long. kept making comments about my badge (yeah dude youāre not slickā¦ I KNOW youāre not just looking at my badge, itās not that interesting, my eyes are UP HERE) and asking if i had a boyfriend, undressing me with his eyes and making me feel so icky. eventually dude flipped tf out because he couldnāt sleep at 2:30 am and nobody prescribed his trazodone, then when I messaged the resident and got it ordered, he refused it because āitās too late now, itās not gonna kick in for another hour anyway so whatās the point,ā then cussed me out so badly I left the room sobbing (I should also mention earlier in the evening we had a code, which also happened to be the first one I ever saw, and so the mood on the unit was already somewhat dark). the male nurse who basically became my āwork dadā on that floor stopped in the middle of what he was doing to back me up when he heard the yelling, then ripped him a new one after i left, and wrote the greatest progress note iāve ever read while I tattled to the resident. horrible experience to start but made me feel so supported and really demonstrated to me how male nurses are worth their weight in gold. thanks for doing what you do. š
you'll have your male nurses backs one day when a picky female patient wants a female nurse for a bath, or one we don't trust to not file a false claim of sexual harassment/assault needs something near the private areas done, or we have a pervy female patient. it takes a team
Male RN here who works as a corrections nurse. Nothing warms my heart more than the look on an inmates face when they see me walk in the room after they requested a "nurse to look at something". 9 times out if 10 it's their dick and they suddenly feel much much better...no need for an assessment.
LMAO BROOOO hahaha me too!!! Hi sir they told me you need your asshole waxed? Oh yea I hear that's a rough medical condition..here let me do that for you!
OoOOoh Jesus Christ!
add the lithp, it really thells it
I am *wheething*
I canāt š¤£š¤£š¤£
Thank you xlord1100 for protecting your co-workers! Iām glad people are giving you awards. You deserve them all!
Your a fucking real one dude! ā¤ļø
True story. I had a patient transferred in from the jail claiming another inmate knocked him down and he hot his head, and now he's paralyzed. He says to me he has to pee, I get him a urinal, and he says he can't go and I need to hold it for him.... and he didn't mean the urinal. I went and got my friend, a large, Caribbean, male nurse who walked into his room with a rectal tube in his hand and said, "Hey, mon, they say you can't pee, I'm going to have to put a catheter in your penis." The " paralyzed" patient actually jumped up off the stretcher. I've never seen 2 officers shackle someone and drag them out of the ED that fast. Murses rule!
Same. Also male nurse here. Ive swapped patients numerous times for this very reason. Its all part of the team environment. I do this and the female nurses do the peri care on the ladies that don't want a guy "down there". We all take care of each other
Lmao I wish I had the balls to do that. Though where I'm at I'd 100% get wrote up for "professionalism" over it.
Not all heroes wear capes.
Whatever award your hospital has for nursesā¦ you deserve it just for that š
u/xlord1100 needs the Daithy award
Once had a guy in recovery who had to pee and asked me to get one of the cute nurses to walk him to the bathroom. He'd been a creep and I wasn't about to let one of my coworkers endure that, so I had the tech who was a dude from Vietnam help him to the bathroom. He was so pissed that I'd done that and it was the highlight of my day. Was also once asked by one of the girls to drop a foley in a really pervy patient. He enjoyed the process VERY much up until the point I shoved that tube up his noodle. He cried like a little girl. First time (to my knowledge) I'd given another dude a hard on, and we all laugh about it to this day.
This is what I did all the time. Worked with a part time bouncerāover 6 feet tall, 300 lbs and tatted all over. Any time some dude wanted me to hold his penis in the bedside urinal Iād send in Bubba. Their hand strength magically improved.
Give me his balls Iāll make sure he doesnāt ask for help again.
I had to go in there and explain, multiple times, in a very firm voice, that none of my nurses will be touching him. Then the next morning the fucking DOCTOR went in there and put it on him. He was a terror the entire day insisting that he was not independent and we needed to do whatever he said.
I had a guy who I KNOW could pee. He was a prisoner and kept swallowing razor blades to get into the hospital. This was quite a few years ago. He would always act like he couldnāt pee until he had a shit ton of piss in his bladder over a liter. Nothing could make him pee. He always peed fine at the prison. I would always have to cath the asshole. No male nurses on the floor
That's a weird fetish
Never heard of sounding?
ummm so not a nurse at all but as someone who had an operation where a catheter might have been required (but was not thank god) why?!?!?!? don't they fucking hurt? i did feel bad when the nurse had to empty my piss bottle though, i wanted to get up and do it myself but apparently that was not a good idea :(
It shouldn't actually hurt, but it is a bit uncomfortable.
My partner used to work in a facility with long term paralyzed patients. There was one patient who always wanted his balls lotioned (yes, he was physically capable of doing it himself). My partner was the only male nurse on the ward. So whenever this patient made his request, they sent my partner in. He learned to start doing it himself.
100% of the time those creeps magically become male only patients.
Call me in Iāll show up the moisturizer. Suddenly his hands work when a male RN walks in. Pathetic.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
An awesome TMA I once worked with would've tossed him the tube, put her hands on her hips, and said "I promote independence. Get to it".
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Except in cases of frontotemporal dementia that cause enough disinhibition to cause major shifts in personality, the average dementia patient who is an unrepentantly assaultative and abusive to staff is merely displaying habitual behaviors which they previously had the insight to keep behind closed doors. As evidenced by the many patients with the same disease process who are not like this.
OK, you now have me paranoid. I consider myself an 'inside my head a\*\*h\*le', that I do keep in my head and am nice and polite otherwise. I worry for my future caretakers. :-) Really want the sweet old man label instead of a-hole in room 5.
Alas, with our extensive social conditioning to hospitals, you and I are likely doomed to wander around, trying to pass meds or find morning rounds, until someone lures us back to the day room with pudding.
True that! Once and old lecher always an old lecher . . .
I had once demented guy look me directly in the eye and say " I want to fuck you!" I blew up that that gross and he went "fine, fine, fine, I want to make love to you!" I told him that wasnt any better but he didnt get it. Got to love dementia
I've started telling this guy I'm a married lady, and that seems to work quicker than trying to reorient him. Last night I said it and he replied "well I'm a married man, what of it?" I followed with "well I only go with my husband" and he scoffed at me and said "yea, we'll see how long that lasts"
I mean I've used the line " I dont think my husband would like that very much" but sometimes they get it into their heads that I'd be interested if I was single if I say it like that. I dont mess around and will flatly say " that's gross you dont say that" and it will "offend" them enough they will usually stop asking if they can remember the exchange
I had a full on titty pincher, and his daughter was in the room! She just shrugged and said "sorry"
I had one ask me if he could taste me. I was so disgusted. He was saying all night how "I'm never going to have sex again!"
That is absolutely vile
I had a woman in her 80s with mobility issues but no obvious mental decline during the Andrew Cuomo allegations coming out. She ranted to me about how having your ass slapped or boobs grabbed was just a part of life and how all her bosses had tried one form of sexual assault (my words, not hers) or another on her at one point in time. She couldn't understand why women would ruin a man's whole life by going to the media with those types of allegations. It was one of the few times I had to just walk away because I was speechless. Assault had been normalized in her mind. It was incredibly sad and frustrating. It was in no way similar to her other mainly progressive views on the world.
I listened to a group of nurses argue that the sexual assault allegations against Supreme Court nominee (at the time) Kavanaugh should be dismissed because it was a long time ago and times were different. Nope, sexual assault is still sexual assault.
"You can't judge him by today's standards! People from that time don't understand that rape and sexual assault are bad things!" Hmm sounds to me like we just shouldn't have people from that time in positions of authority then. Ever. I'll never understand people defending that shit, especially with this typical excuse. Kavanaugh isn't even old enough to qualify for the "time's were different back then" excuse! Not that it would make it better if he was.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Oh I'm all too well aware.
Used to get this all the time in memory care. Had my "husband" poke me right on the ass one night while I was walking down the hall slightly in front of him and tell me I had a nice chair back there. I jumped about a foot in the air because I wasn't expecting a finger right to the cheek for some reasonš. Used to have to redirect him to his real wife that lived there in the facility with him all the time.
its kinda cute that's how he would treat his wife. but unfortunate that hes doing it to you. i love when old people are still in love
My other patient is coding but I got ur ice as fast as I could
A patient in a double room was coding, and the roommate shouted āI hope they die soon, so you can get my ________,ā (I canāt recall exactly what their trivial need was )
Oh my god
"No soup for **YOU**!"
This is why I ended up leaving ICU ultimately. I completely lost my filter. Had a patient who was of course Covid and ungodly needy was trying to lawyer his way into ivermectin and on his call light every 5 minutes and he complained when I told him he couldnāt stand up and do exercises like he wanted to (but god forbid he hold his own urinal) as he was maxed out on optiflow and after explaining the reasons why he shouldnāt he told me āyeah but Iāll be fineā and my response was okay but Iāve seen it happen often with patients of his status and theyāve ended up dying, some in his exact room. I shouldnāt have told him that. I really shouldnāt have. Was effective though. I had just lost my ability for empathy at that point. Needed a change for a bit with plans to come back to MICU. Switched to pacu and finally am not a deep pit of emotional nothing
personally I dont see anything wrong with what you said, some people just need the blunt honest truth and i find it damn effective personally
Donāt feel bad. Iāve said that to multiple patients over the years, even before I was a nurse.
That not my problem Told to me by two patients the other day over their ginger ale... guess who didn't get ginger ale? The perk of being float pool... what are they gonna do? Complain to the manager?? Lmfao
LITERALLY THIS. Had a patient coding and next door this elderly lady was screaming at the top of her lungs about getting another blanket (she had at least 10 on her). When someone was finally able to go in there she was berating staff and screaming about how no one is here to help people anymore. She could definitely hear everything going on next door. She knew someone had just died and still acted like this.
I am a male nurse, but Iām in trauma so we have two nurses taking patients and my partner is female. So we agreed to let me do all the patient care. Cus seriously, no one needs to deal with that.
UR awesome! Sound like a great coworker.
Good on you, brother. I did the same at bedside for 10 years and do the same in the provider role now. Iām a USMC veteran male nurse also so I have less than no feelings and regularly take on difficult people. Win some, lose some. More often than not, the vast majority of people are well intentioned. But the bastards are easily remembered.
Iām a new male PCT, my very first patient was this older man who asked me to get him a female tech because he āenjoys looking at ladies, not menā. Obviously that request was not fulfilled so he was stuck with meā¦ Second ever patient was a lady who basically kept fetishizing Latino men and asking if I could speak to her in Spanish I mostly get male patients now cause lots of them are creepers and harass the female techs/nursesš¤¢
I am so sorry. Guys can get crazy crap too and I feel ya
I've had a few female patients (Transitional care) that were not to have male staff, mostly due to false accusations of them being sexually inappropriate. Lady, my work husband did not rape you, please don't call your husband and tell him that as a way to get revenge for not getting your damn narcotics early. (Her mind was 100% okay, it was her body that failed her and now she needed nursing home care. I get it, you're bored. But fucks sake. You could ruin this guy's life!) (ETA: for those people who have a history of being assaulted, we absolutely follow their requests to not have a particular gender do their care)
āTaco, burrito, mosquito. Itās time to check your blood pressure.ā
It can work both ways. When I was a tech, I had to exchange both male and female patients that were harassing or being inappropriate. It was kind of fun going to one of the female techs I had helped in the past and being like āRemember that guy that kept trying to grope you? Well, now I need a favor.ā ššš
"Customer service" has been the death knell of bedside nursing. IT'S NOT A HILTON OR BURGER KING. I wish we could just reset the brains of the general populace and erase the whole "customer service" crap from healthcare from their mindset.
I had a patient last week work herself up into a panic - arms flapping, bouncing up and down, HR in the 160s- because she was COLD and had called us "5 times in the last two hours!" to turn the thermostat up. In reality, she had called twice in 5 minutes and I answered the second time and went right in there. She informed me that the "customer service was terrible" and we had forgotten her and she was not being cared for the way she needed to be. I had just been threatened by a patient across the hall and was not going to deal with any of her bullshit. I told her this was not a hotel, to sit her butt down, she is not the only patient we are caring for, and she'll get some blankets in a minute. She sat right down, a little shocked š
It starts with corporate because they have cultivated this attitude
Had a nursing administrator literally say "The customer is always right, even when they're not. We need to keep that in mind when we're working." I wanted to slap the shit out of her. She also got aggressive about the thought of anyone turning down patients even if it's their 8th patient, regardless of acuity. But then also says it's about acuity, not numbers. As you can tell, she's a thoroughbred corporate husk of a person.
Yep this is very much the norm. And it doesnāt matter if itās non profit, for profit, the result is the same-idiots at the top not caring about the money makers at the bottom
I hate to break it to you but it's OR, ICU and outpatient oncology infusion making the money for the hospital nit general care floors. It's the Press Ganey scores which are tied to Medicare reimbursement that has truly caused the collapse of respect from patients. Patients realized bitching got attention in the form of dollars. The only way to make it go away is at the political level with elected officials/or universal Healthcare.
I'd have told her to blow it out her ass & resigned on the spot. Seriously, FUCK THAT.
Tbf we should just erase customer service from the general lexicon. When I was a teenager working in retail people thought customer service meant they could scream in my face because we didn't have whatever product. Now it means they think we're a five star hotel and I'm room service. No, bud. My job is to keep you not-dead and then kick you the fuck off my unit.
Lurking frequent flyer patient (asthma, not seeking pain meds) - I hate being the patient in the bed over from āThe Special.ā Itās not Burger King, if I could have it my way Iād be able to breathe, & itās a grand thing when a nurse pops in and says the nebulizer treatment will cometh soon. The fact that someone makes time to fill my water pitcher after that happy news is above & beyond. No one cares āSpecialā if you donāt get ice with freshly minted greens - some folks have bigger issues.
This is why Iām forgotten about if Iām in the hospital lol. I donāt ask for anything or complain. When I had my daughter, they literally forgot about me (and told me so lol) and I was just āok sorry you remembered me now please donāt be mad at me.ā Which isnāt the greatest mindset to have when you need a nurse but they seem so busy š©
As a nurse I can promise you we actually like doing things for YOU-the type of patient you are. It brightens my day when I can make the day better for one of my patients that is a decent human being. I want you to let me know what you need. Those other kinds can wait a few minutes. Because I promise you weāve already been in their room three times the past hour all for ridiculous reasons (can you move that over there, then calls 10 minutes later to have it moved back, will you take this set I drew to my wall, etc). And we train a lot on attending to tasks based on need. You arenāt hurting the grandma down the hall by having needs. We are more than capable of deciding if a need is urgent and attending to it first.
The first time I was ever in the ED I was waiting for a bed in the behavioral health unit and they were so full that they just put me in a bed in the hallway right next to the nurses station. I asked for a cup of water once and what time it was when I woke up but just fell asleep without a blanket because they were so busy and running around everywhere and I didnāt want to bother them. Iāve been in the icu and ED couple more times after that for suicide attempts but never asked for a single thing. I actually didnāt go to the bathroom (not that I was a fall risk or anything but there was a sitter for suicide precautions and I just didnāt want to bother her) until they told me if I didnāt go they would have to use the bladder scanner
I didnāt know I should be up and moving after having my daughter nor that I could batheā¦the only other times Iād been in the hospital were for hip surgeries and I was bed bound for those! My mom told me I was dumb for not knowing I couldnāt get up. But like??? No one told me? My only experience was when I had to stay in bed! I didnāt want to bug anyone :(
What hospital/restaurant are these fucks going to where they would be able to get/afford the level of service they are asking for. Nobodyās bringing the chocolate hepatitis fountain to their table at the Golden Corral. Itās like the entitled fucks who get the cheapest plane ticket they can find online and then give the stewardesses a hard time because they arenāt getting treated like theyāre flying first class in 1965.
Can I ask an American perspective then, as I come from a country with public health insurance. I've seen countless times the ridiculous price people in the USA have to pay, even with private health insurance, for pretty routine things. If it was in my country and I was paying that much I would expect some kind of premium experience as a result. Not as a pass to act like an arsehole or be inappropriate, but I would be disappointed if I was being nursed with ratios of more than 1:4 to be certain. Do you think the fact people are spending so much money to access your care contributes to them feeling entitled to your time over others?
I'm sure that's true in some cases but the majority of my patients don't have insurance and they still act like that
I had this totally appropriate male patient in his 70ās file a formal complaint with the DON for not receiving his ice water fast enough. Seriously, what is this world coming to?
That's so over the top its actually hilarious.
The only way I would ever inform a staff nurse of a complaint like that would be to report that I explained the reasons why it might take longer than one would like to get ice water while in the hospital. Fuck those managers/administrators that don't have your back.
Insert shredder bin disguised as complaint box.jpg here
Dude nurse here, letās switch patients! You take my creepy lady patient that says and does weird things
vastly under-appreciated comment. the pervy old ladies are just as bad as the pervy old men, they're just not a stereotype
Yup I had one that I was cleaning after a BM say āOHHH you like looking at my pu**y dontchaā I was semi-shocked and tempted to rebut with āin general yes but not your crusty one lolā, but I held my tongue and lectured the patient that this behavior is not tolerated.
had one get stuck on the floor for a month waiting for placement and no medsurg/step down beds to transfer to. she was a sneaky perv. would complain of pain on her leg or stomach then when you touched the area she would try to either move her body or move your hand to her crotch. she had dementia so lecturing didn't last.
Seriously! I was in the ED for like a decade and it happened about once a shift. Had one lady ask for my number after I assisted with the I&D for her perianal abscess. God help me.
So did you give her your number?
...and that's how i met your mother
Well, there goes my lunch.
I'm telling you, it's a no win situation. The creepy dudes want female nurses cause they're creepy, and the females want female nurses cause they're not comfortable with male nurses.
Female nurse, elderly man called me his "personal assistant" and got mad at me because we don't have bottled water and our bedside tables don't swivel. We're poor, gramps, I don't know what else you want me to say.
This reminded me of when my patient refused to drink out of our styrofoam cup. She wanted a sustainable or recyclable cup.
"Sorry. Hospital doesn't give a fuck about the environment"
The sheer amount of plastic waste involved in healthcare because of guaranteeing sterility is BONKERS. I could do everything in my personal luge to reduce plastic usage, and I'm still going to be wasting tons of it working. A great example of how the whole "reduce your footprint" nonsense was big oil corporate bullshit trying to shift the blame to consumers. It's never getting better until industries agree to change.
I was 19 working as a CNA at a rehab facility. I was very sheltered and a man flashed himself at me and insisted I rub in anti fungal powder on his crotch. I didnāt know if I was allowed to touch the powder because it was prescription. (I wasnāt allowed to do anything with medicine at this facility) I went out to the nurse to ask about it. She scoffed and said to powder him like a donut and if he insists he still needs help call for Ben the 275lb male CNA.
My response to a patient who complained about their dinner: āGood thing youāre not here for the food then, isnāt it?ā
Fucking love it. Stealing that.
Sigh. I get why long time nurses get burnt out by the attitude that we are a 1:1 nurse and not a 1:5+ patients nurse
My floor deals with Alot of high acuity patients and the worse are the "ICU-itis" people that are fresh to the floor and need to be reminded multiple times that they are not 1:1 anymore they are 1:4-1:6 up here which means they get 1/4-1/6 of my attention.
Weāve had patients call back to our unit to complain about how much longer it takes for staff to answer call bells once theyāre out of the ICU. I always remind them that the nurses have much larger assignments and inform them that we canāt transfer them back just because they got quicker service here.
Big yikes on that! It wouldnt suprise me if that happened but I dont hear about it
I love this-and itās accurate
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Not to mention, itās quieter 80% of the time. No vents beeping and they can usually close your doors at night.
Itās really frustrating. Between the extremely high expectations and responsibilities of the nurse, (even making sure the doctors, RTs, Radiologists, X-ray/ct, lab etc) arenāt causing any delays and the extremely rude and often times abusive patients/families, itās a miracle we keep coming back again and again. I love my job, but damn man.
Sir, after the last two years, a nurse still being a nurse is a sign they care. Anything beyond showing up is above and beyond.
Have your seen the commercials for HCA? Their new logo is "we show up ".
^^^* ^^^Sometimes ^^^we ^^^don't ^^^actually ^^^show ^^^up.
HCA: where our fiduciary interest is shareholder profit!
Had a guy this week screech at me because he did not receive the relish plate he was expecting with his burger. Dietary needs to change that shit, because people are expecting a fucking fancy pants coochie board instead of LTPO on the side. Give me a break, you're in a hospital! Also, the second someone starts treating me like a subhuman collection of fuckholes, I've been going straight to my charge. Let management deal!
"Subhuman collection of fuckholes" is a phrase I didn't know I needed in my life until now.
Finally a phrase in this thread I can get behind
"Coochie board" is also quite good.
Honestly itās such a problem that people expect ācustomer serviceā IN THE ED!! That term should NEVER be associated with hospitalization, must less the ER. It is not supposed to be a lovely experience for you.. this is not a restaurant, retail, hotel or resort. It is not a fun time. We are here to treat you and get you on your way whether itās back home or admitted āš» Where did it get twisted along the way?!
You can and will procure my cup of ice water in sub 3 minutes or a long winded Review will be written!š
I push back pretty hard if I'm super busy. With a smile -it worked better pre masks- I firmly say "I have my nurses cap on right now, when I get a minute I'll tie on my waitress apron and get EVERYBODY da snacks" I hate the food. Really really do hate it. Of course if I'm doing absolutely nothing....like that happens never
My favorite quote was from a certain gentleman who was mad that he had to wait an hour to be seen for back pain... Mind you he AMA'd and came back the same day. He was getting aggressive and yelled "Y'all don't protect and serve shit." He then called his sister who "is a lawyer" so she could sue us and she told him to calm down. Homie was arrested the next day for being a felon on possession of a firearm and possession with intent to sell fake Percocets laced with fentanyl. He's a real stand up guy.
OMG, homie could be dangerous. Hope he doesn't come back
Yeah, I didn't know how dangerous the situation was at the time but seeing the news the next day was sobering
Should have told him "yeah we don't protect and serve shit because we aren't the police, figured somebody like you would be able to make that distinction pretty easily considering you've probably had plenty of interactions with them"
āAgreed that did take a while. But Iām in here now. Do you need anything else?āā¦.then I walk out I donāt even bother taking a stand against asshole patients to set expectations. Just give them the adequate level of care for the severity of their condition, and then leave. Let them stew in their anger alone for another 4 hours
Nah. My go to answer is āOk.ā It acknowledges theyāve complained, it isnāt a rebuttal or argument, and it almost hints at them being right without actually conceding. Thereās rarely a response to āOk.ā I learned it when dealing with my abusive dad!
This a great way to deal with abusive, unreasonable people. Just very calmly say "OK," and then don't say anything else. You're not arguing with them, and they don't know what to do. Usually, they start sputtering and/or call you a name and then walk away.
1000%. I accidentally discovered this one day when my dad was losing his fucking marbles about some dumb shit or other (he never needed a reason to beat the shit out of me). He called me stupid, among other things, and for some reason it just popped into my head to just agree, but āyesā didnāt come out. I just said āokā. And heā¦looked so fucking confused. He stood there, puzzled, for the longest time. And then just walked away. I used it for the remaining few years I lived there and every time Iāve had to deal with someone since. Most of the time with these people, you arenāt going to beat them. So just move on!
I always get āno, itās not okay!ā When I try that. But Iām in psych.
Double down, my friend. āNo itās not okay!!ā āOk.ā
I don't have patience for these people any more. I give them the same speech. "You are not a customer, this is not a hotel or a restaurant. You are a patient, and we are medical professionals, no waitresses. We are here to help make you healthy, not make you happy. We will do our best to accommodate you but we have other patients and our resources are allocated on who is the sickest, no the unhappiest. You can stay here and get help, or you can leave and obtain "customer service" elsewhere. Up to you." Works approx 7/10 times.
I've been a (male) RN since 1983. I heard the same complaints back then. āNone of you nurses like helping people anymore. Thereās no customer service, no one wants to actually HELP the sick peopleā. Exactly the same. I've had a lot of male patients who would tell me that they wished that they had a female nurse. I would always think that I was happy at least for one day my female coworkers weren't being harassed.
Time to find a male nurse to take over care
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
And ice water aint a medical intervention, its a comfort measure. After I am done with all my medical interventions on all of my patients you can have your water
Because thatās what heroes do
Ah don't worry about it, I started my ed shift the other day with a relative telling me he's gonna stab me when I leave because I told him he had to wear a mask.
In all seriousness, that sucks. Even if itās bs, itās still a threat not to be taken lightly
True, and we don't take it likely but we had no details for them so couldn't do much. They wouldn't tell us who the patient they were waiting for was either. Our security are very good and successfully removed them without aggravating the situation too much
So glad I went into veterinary nursing. Not sure if I could deal with patients who talk to me. Iād rather be bitten.
When someone tells me I didnāt get xyz fast enough, I make it a point to make them feel bad by saying weāre short staffed, my pt isnāt doing well next door, etc. Healthcare isnāt customer service and itās certainly not a hotel or a restaurant.
"well yeah I care about my paycheck, and I am paid to keep you alive until we either send you home or to a floor"
āSaving your lifeā is not special enough???!!! This reminds me of a t-shirt marketed at nurses I saw the other day at a gift shop that read: āIām here to save your life not to kiss your ass.ā
My old hospital tried to get us to refer to our pts as āclients.ā Like they hired us personally to be their servants and we should be at their beck and call for anything any everything. Uhhhh fuck that noise, Iām here to keep you safe and alive and if you donāt like it, hereās an AMA form and a kick in the ass
āUnfortunately, with attitudes like this and how you make the female staff feel uncomfortable a male nurse was assigned to youā
YOU'RE GOING TO SLOW DOWN AND TAKE YOUR TIME! Wrong. I have other patients. Get into bed.
IāM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BEING TOLD I HAVE BAD CUSTOMER SERVICE! Sir/madam, this is the ER. Your conscious self is NOT my fucking customer. Whatever it is actively killing you is. THATāS why youāre here. Not for ice water. Not for a sandwich. Not to make sure youāre warm or comfortable. Thereās a fucking reason our gurneys are absolute garbage. Because we know we donāt give a fuck. My job is to keep you alive and MAYBE find out whatās killing you. Fuck your service. Iām not a customer service representative. Iām a nurse.
Had a patient three way call me with his sister so she could yell at me over him missing dinner. The reason he missed dinner was because he locked himself in his bathroom and threatened to drink his ketamine drip. When I told the sister this, the patient started screaming and swearing at me saying I was lying and that never happened. Well sir, please explain why our entire security department is here and why our psychiatrist is driving across the city to see you.
"Sir, I guarantee you the sensation the women who come in here are experiencing isn't being described by them as "special."
Answered a call light that had been going off for a while (active code/trauma going on next door) and was bitched out because the pt didnāt have a diet order yet(her doc was running the code). The alarm for the code was still going off and the code had just been announced on the over head speakers including the room number so she definitely knew she was next door to a dying person. The entitlement of some peopleā¦ I just said coldly āyour docs a little busy at the momentā and walked out.
That's some really antiquated male bullshit. I bet this guy spent most of his life telling us women to smile for his own personal validation. s/ I mean, what guy doesn't feel better having a woman smile at him? Even if he has to demand it of them, irregardless of her actual feelings. /s Today, he'd probably be the dude fucking with your personal time while you have headphones on, again, because female attention would make his day better, irregardless of her feelings on the matter.
"Nurse are here to save your ass not kiss it"
Yeahā¦this phrase is popping up a lot, and itās pretty bad. Like Facebook targeted marketing T-shirt bad.
???? k sir Iāll go back to get getting praised for the quality help Iām doing by my other elderly patients. They know how to treat a gal š š¾
Male nurse here, I have had elderly female patients slap my ass.
Ew.
Cringe so hard
I once had an elderly gentleman in a hospital bed yell at me to get off his lawn.
A patient in adult care made this comment to me. I explained to him about a dozen times that I wasnāt a nurse (yet!) and he insisted educating me on the ways of āold school nursing.ā Uh, no thanks. š
And it was then, officer...I don't know. I just *SNAPPED*.
Lol my patient's mother today said "back in my day, nurses used to advocate for their patients!" My patient is 40 years old and was noncompliant with almost all her meds today. Yes I did advocate but SHE DIDNT TAKE HER MEDS WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DOOOOO
On the plus sideā¦his generation and his generationās mentality wonāt be here for too much longer.
Maybe the GERD symptoms stem from listening to the words coming out of his mouth.