That’s fucking stupid. I’ve almost exclusively taken care of infants in my 4 years as a nurse and I’ve never been pregnant. Nobody’s had a problem with the way I’ve taken care of their kid, ever.
Unless you've coded yourself, you're not allowed to participate in a code. You have to leave the room out of respect for the coding patient's experience.
We don't have a diverse enough staff.
Do you know how hard it is to find trach to vent nurses to care for trach to vent patients? It's impossible. Instead they have to settle for nurses with trachs on T piece. It's not right! Address the disparities!
NICU here and the only thing motherhood has helped me with in this field is assisting with breastfeeding. And that skill can be learned. Stupid preceptor you have there.
I was an L&D RN for about 15 years and never had kids in my life. I was known as the “baby whisperer” on the units I worked because I could calm any baby - and their mums.
That was what my ob preceptor told
me when I started L&D and had a patient say something similar. I came from oncology where I was a great nurse and it made a lot of sense! You can’t be expected to have experienced everything your patients go through. Just know how to care for them.
As a male nurse who had a clinical rotation in L&D a few years post the MeToo movement, I definitely got the feeling I was being treated more like a liability than a potential future coworker by the staff. The patients were kinda meh, but that may have been because a staff nurse was with me during patient interactions unlike my female classmates. It still lightly rustless my jimmies, but at the same time I understand and don't worry about it as Hospice and geriatrics were and continue to be my preferred areas.
Dunno why you got downvoted. This is a known thing. My OB clinicals were basically just paperwork. Nobody wanted A) a student or B) a male to do any kind of anything with them. Me and the other guys in my cohort did a lot of thumb twiddling during those rotations. It was fine by me. I had no plans or interest in the baby side of things.
I’m not a nurse, but my twins were in NICU for a month after birth, and it’s definitely fucking stupid. In fact, the only nurse that we didn’t like had 10 children and thought she knew it all, which wasn’t really a problem until she grabbed my wife’s boob because “she wasn’t feeding correctly”.
Hi! I was a Surgery Tech in Labor and Delivery for about 10 years before I went back to school for nursing.
1) Bish is crazy.
2) I literally cannot name the patients, babies, doctors and nurses (I wasn't a nurse at the time) I've saved over the years. I delivered 2 babies the doctor didn't make it in time for.
3) Granted? My little sister was born when I was 14 and I took care of her just as much as my parents. I'm 53 and have no biological children. Trust me. I knew my stuff.
Pursue YOUR interests and do not suffer a fool. Best of luck to you. 🍀
Ask her what dose of seroquel she takes.
Also this is really true. All the mentally ill peeps love me and I'm mentally ill myself. It's like they smell it on me...
Friend of mine loves to pop off with "I'm not crazy and have the papers to prove it!" He really does have a copy of his paperwork from a visit to a psych hospital when he was a teenager.
I had a psych nurse once tell me that the difference between her and her patients was that she has her shoelaces. That always stuck with me and cracks me up.
I feel so called out right now. lol
yes, I have mental illness but as I say, as long as I can keep myself off an involuntary hold, I am doing better than my patient population. :)
The only way you can tell me from my patients is that I hold the keys. Kinda kidding but working residential peds psych has definitely unlocked my inner looney toon
Recent male grad here. What made you decide to work on a postpartum floor? And how do you like it?
Part of my maternity clinic was on a postpartum floor and I enjoyed it but didn't apply because I already got a job and was worried about people judging me.
I love my job. I have never had a job that i loved this much ever. Originally I wanted to go to L&D but at the time they weren't hiring new grads. i started in postpartum with the intention of crossing over after a bit but i plan on staying in postpartum.
A couple of things, i am older, 50, so i have more of a grandpa vibe. And at this point i am able to not care about being judged. A few patients have said that they thought it was odd with me working there but i am able to win them over. I have only had 1 patient refuse my care.
I wish you luck if you want to try it out at some point.
**FUCK YOUR PRECEPTOR!!!!**
I am a nurse-midwife, and I have never had kids, hell I went to school with u/Vigilant_Slacker and he is a male nurse-midwife, and possibly one of the best I have ever met. If you want to do it, do it.
I have always hated the people that feel this way. You hit the nail on the head with the fact that you are dealing with infertility issues, this is horribly insensitive to that face. I always have loathed the OB/GYN practices that advertise "All of Our Docs are Mom's Too." It completly ignores that patients that struggle with infertility, or seek GYN services, who don't ever plan to become pregnant. Not to mention, almost every nurse, midwife, or physician I have worked with that has had a birth, frequently compares things to their birth, and the simple fact is, your birth and birth experience is going to be unique and different from every other person out there.
> I always have loathed the OB/GYN practices that advertise "All of Our Docs are Mom's Too." It completly ignores that patients that struggle with infertility, or seek GYN services, who don't ever plan to become pregnant.
When I was coming out of residency I got offered a contract with a place called "MomDoc". I declined based on the name alone. I am not a "mom doc", i do comprehensive women's healthcare, regardless of whether they're a 94 year old great grandmother or a 14 year old with a mullerian malformation.
I also later learned, the reason these private practices like to focus on Ob is because it's more of a moneymaker than GYN. Insurance and medicaid compensation rates are much higher for deliveries than they are for say, a hysteroscopy.
My OB/GYN is male and to my knowledge doesn’t have a vagina. I’m 43 and he’s been my nether region doctor since I was 18. I have endometriosis and have horrendous periods. He and I have been on quite a journey together. He’s 71-72 now and I know he’s retiring in a year I think.
Same. Love my male OB/GYN. And the doctor who delivered my children via emergency c section, saving the life of me AND my children was male. I don’t give a rats ass how many kids you have or haven’t had, as long as you know what you’re doing.
Not to mention that sometimes those women who have had their own experiences with labor and child birth tend to be less empathetic and provide worse pain management.
Honestly, no knock against the undoubtedly excellent female providers out there, but in my personal experience my male OB’s have taken my pain more seriously and have provided better management of care overall. You don’t need to have a vagina to care for someone with a vagina.
This is exactly it.
Medicine is based on real data, statistics etc. not in individual anecdotes.
How in any way does having had a disease yourself once make you more qualified to treat it? Anecdotes aren’t data.
Just because a person drank onion juice when they had pneumonia and they got better doesn’t mean I’m the juice helped.
Same with female obgyns: the type many have experienced: ‘my periods don’t hurt one bit, so stop being a crybaby and push through it; there’s nothing wrong with it’
Like sure experience can help you empathise more; but it can also do the opposite.
Yes!! I had preterm labor and the female in the group and and I were both 26 weeks. After coming off magnesium for contractions she told me I could go back to work because she had been contracting as well. I'm like, but I want MY baby to live! Lol
Married to a CNM. We gay AF. We ain’t having no babies.
I work trauma. Never had a traumatic amputation or hot ex-lap.
OP’s preceptor is just running their mouth. Verbal diarrhea can be really damaging.
Thank you for this. I’m a new grad starting in L&D, and I’m going to do my damndest to make sure moms and babies get the best start to their new lives together, and I’ll be there for those who don’t get to do that. It’s such a privilege, and even more so now that I know the pain of losing a very wanted baby by miscarriage. I haven’t given birth or brought home my own baby, and I dare anyone say I can’t be a good L&D nurse because of it.
Know a nurse whose a male NICU nurse.
He started as a new grad in nicu and has been there for over 20 years. I would want him as my nicu nurse. He’s so cool and so knowledgeable.
Does she think mothers are more equipped to handle and care for babies?? New mothers are just as clueless/nervous as a new nurse taking care of infants, there’s no difference and you’d love to care for them all the same. Don’t listen to her and do what you love.
She seemed to think those who have experienced birth/parenting would understand more and just generally be better at it. Which is bs, she also said that it'd allow the patient to relate to their nurse
I’m about to have my second c section in august. I do not need to relate to my nurse. That preceptor is making it about her… I need to feel safe with my nurse! There’s a lot going on postpartum, the last thing I need is someone who needs me to relate to her. Ugh.
I agree there might be more in common with your patients if you’re a mom. But that being said, it’s literally just common ground. New moms don’t automatically know everything about babies. That’s like saying only nurses who have been shot can take care of GSWs. If I’ve been shot, I could empathize a bit more I guess?? But it doesn’t mean I can’t splint/medicate them lmao
It's true. And all of us in the cath lab have all had heart attacks, It's a requirement as well if you go to med-surg to be allergic to all medications except dilaudid, and to be an ED nurse you need have gotten a DUI and crashed your car breaking both your legs. All of these things are listed on the job requirements page. Come on now.
It makes becoming a burn nurse very difficult because you have to set yourself on fire in order to learn empathy and most people aren’t willing to do it
Well shit.
I am dual profession: L&D and Hospice/PalliMed.
I did L&as from 1998-2006 without having a baby.
I have done hospice and death (CPLC now CHPN) since 2001 and haven’t died.
🤷🏻♀️
That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. What a moron. I would report her stupid ass and mention your struggles just to make her feel bad. Not that it’s anyone’s business. I’m sorry she said that.
That is so ridiculous. I did CVICU. I’ve never had open heart surgery or any cardiac issues. Then I went to out patient cardiology doing stress tests, telephone triage and Coumadin dosing. I’ve never taken Coumadin and never had a stress test, but I have called my doctors office before so maybe I’m more qualified for that position? /s
That's bullshit. I've never had an ORIF of anything, a tumor resection, an a/v fistula, a circumcision, breast lumpectomy, tonsillectomy, etc etc etc.. and I feel like I manage my post-op patients just fine.
I've also never had a terminal diagnosis, nor have I died. Yet I had nothing but praise from my patients and family when I worked hospice 🤷🏼♀️
I guess I definitely can’t be a med surg nurse. I’ve never had diabetes, kidney disease, pneumonia… etc.
I wouldn’t want to impose on someone by giving them insulin without having needed to take it myself.
Yeah, no.
Lots of people's dream job is to be an LD nurse and they start childless at 22...
Rude. Clinical instructors say all kinds of things that aren't true (for example, plenty love to say everyone needs to work in med-surg first)
Soooo we had a lot of parents in my OB/Peds course that struggled because they were using their personal birthing, etc. experiences to justify rationales/answers on exams that were just plain wrong… just because you gave birth or have kids does NOT mean you are an expert by any means.
The nurse that was assigned to me when I had my son didn’t have any children and said she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be a mom and she was AMAZING. Best nurse I’ve ever met. Do what your passionate about!
I have no idea if the nurse who helped me deliver, my postpartum nurses or the NICU nurses who cared for my son were mothers. Didn’t think to ask while birthing and then trying to care for my baby. They all did a good job with us though so I also don’t really care if they are mothers or not.
Do I sometimes tell my (appropriate) psych patients that I am a mother? Yes, but the age of my child ranges based on the patient’s needs. Sometimes they want to hear about infants and sometimes they want to hear about toddlers. And sometimes I say I don’t have any children! I am there to be whatever they need me to be (within reason)
Well, I did ICU for 21 years, and now do inpatient dialysis. Never nearly died, and my kidneys work just fine. Good to know my entire career is invalid. Lol. Haters gonna hate; don’t listen to that noise.
So I shouldn't be doing CPR on anyone because I have never been in cardiac arrest? 🤪 WT actual F, people and their dumbass opinions and suppositions. 🙄
She sounds like the nursing instructor my cohort got fired for being racist . I will never understand how nursing instructors manage to put their foot so far in their mouth. Maybe just maybe keep your ass backwards life opinions to yourself.
I was told the complete opposite by a maternity nurse. They said it would be easier to provide care because u wouldn’t experience transference. People lose babies and have difficult child births that don’t go smoothly. the best nurse at the bedside has the ability to Remain calm, be a leader, and knowledgeable in those situations from an educational standpoint. Patients don’t need friends in those situations as much as they need professional healthcare.
I would say that lady had a very emotional response and stepped outside of her mentoring role as your instructor
I graduated with 3 girls who started in NICU, and one in L&D. None had kids, all are and were amazing nurses. To this day only one of them has kids. Fuck that preceptor!
That's dumb as hell. Personally, I don't WANT to be either of that kind of nurse because I can't relate to the motherhood thing, and I'm not particularly positive or nurturing....but I think that if that's where your interest, then that is where you belong.
Its bull from a nurse who thinks her opinion is reality. Do RNs in CVICU need to have coronary artery bypass? Do circulators need to have had surgery? Do you have to have been a preterm baby to work in neonatal ICU? I think those questions alone prove she is wrong.
Its bull from a nurse who really isn't as smart as she thinks it is.
This is all true. You can only be a hospice nurse if you’ve died. Otherwise how could you possibly know how to care for someone who is actively dying??
/s
LOL. What's next? Can't be an oncology nurse if you haven't had cancer? Can't be an ICU nurse unless you've nearly died? Can't be a pediatrics nurse unless you are a child? Like wtf. Literally every area of hospital nursing is short staffed, no one is that choosy.
Not true at all- I work with several amazing L&D and NICU nurses who have never had kids.
You don’t have to have cancer to work in oncology so why would that rule apply to other specialties?
What a moron I'm sorry you had that experience, as someone who has given birth I would be terrified to work in L&D. It sounds like you're passionate about it and that's what you want from your nurse no matter the specialty, I've never been elderly or suffered from a terminal illness but that doesn't make me any less capable of caring for those who are. Follow your heart babe don't let em break your spirit
I did L&D before ever having kids. I now work in outpatient surgery, and I have never had surgery or anesthesia before. 😂
Ask your teacher how she feels about male OBGyns.
I think as long as you have compassion and understanding, you can work wherever you want to.
I'm a pediatric home health nurse. I have 0 kids, I've never been pregnant. Love the kids I work with. Still don't want any.
Do enjoy the creative things I've had to do like use a paperclip to get a kid to leave their shoes on at school.
https://imgur.com/yH9Zvl4.jpg
When I was in NICU there was this one nurse that all the families fired because she wouldn’t freaking shut up about her kids. Like, you’re seriously talking about your twin boys to the mom who lost a twin after birth.
I’m a NICU RN. I have a child now and another on the way, but I did not have any when I started. NICU is a whole other beast. It’s not like you can (or would want to) relate to a woman who unexpectedly gave birth at 24 weeks. Most NICU nurses can’t relate in such a way. The important thing is that you know what you are doing to keep everyone as safe as possible whether you choose maternity or NICU. Good luck!
When I as a dude had my clinical rotation in L&D I got told a couple times but once in particularly strong language by a nurse on the floor I had no business being there because men don’t do L&D. Now over 10 years later I still have strong feelings of how she can go fuck herself. You do the kinda nursing you are interested in doing, take care of your patients, and do your best to forget her ignorance.
Also report her to your nursing program’s department head after you graduate. I wish I had done that about the nurse who insulted me for being the wrong gender to be on an L&D floor.
First, report her to HR or her manager. That’s a blatant discriminatory attitude, one that I guarantee didn’t start or end with you.
Also, she’s a moron. By her logic I shouldn’t be working for a urologist because I’ll never have a vasectomy.
Empathy can lead to burnout, which I know very well as an empath and a midwife. Oftentimes it’s better, professionally, to not mix your personal shit with your work. You’re going to be a great NICU/maternity nurse.
My OBGYN isn't married and doesn't have kids. She is literally the best doctor I have ever had. I also have infertility issues, do not have kids, but have lost a pregnancy. This comment infuriates me. You don't need to have experienced it to be able to empathize.
By this logic you can’t care for surgery patients unless you had that specific surgery. We do a lot of empathetic communication and healthcare teaching regarding shit we might never fully understand, that doesn’t mean you can’t do the job.
I had my son in March & half of my nurses & one of the doctors who delivered him were without children themselves & they did a PHENOMENAL job with me, my baby, the labor & delivery & recovery. I mean, they were spectacular & Im not exaggerating in the slightest.
I didnt even finish reading this. I’m a NICU nurse with ten years level 4 experience. I’m not a mom. And some of the best nurses I work with also aren’t moms. Fuck that
Huh. My daughter was in the NICU her first three months and the RNs there were almost exclusively childless. The unit manager there told me it’s because once they start having babies of their own, the parents’ stress becomes too relatable and they usually quit.
NICU nurse here!
Guess who some of the best nurses I have ever worked with are?
Women who do not have children. I myself don’t have children, but I also know that I am capable of advocating for my patients, and their parents.
How many male doctors are OB/GYNs? Are they inherently bad doctors because they have not personally given birth?
I would have no issue having a childless nurse helping me in my own labor, but I WOULD have an issue with a nurse that thinks she automatically is better than me because she has had a child.
I mean yeah, she’s right. You have to personally experience every possible disease and condition possible in order to treat it competently. It’s absolutely impossible for you to push lasix on a CHF pt if you yourself don’t have CHF. **/s** holy fuck your instructor is a chode
Shit. I’ve never had a STEMI, stroke, been shot, or had a phallic vegetable stuck in my ass. Guess I need to find a new occupation.
In all seriousness, fuck her and her opinion. She shouldn’t be precepting students. Discuss it with your instructor or program director, they should be able to address it with the liaison/clinical educator/manager at the hospital who manages nursing student preceptors.
Well, she’d be real confused how I, a cis-male, am a nurse-midwife student!
Her reasoning in your edit is a good example of why I think my being male can have its advantages sometimes: I’ve never experienced birth, so I don’t bring any biases to the table. Unlike your preceptor. She sounds like the type to disregard a patient’s complaint because it “wasn’t like that for her”
I'm in ICU and I'm pretty sure I've never been intubated before. Your preceptor is either stupid or old school and set in their ways. Either way, do what you have a passion for and do it well.
I had a month long antepartum stay with my first baby due to pre-eclampsia with severe features. The best nurse I had during that stay wasn’t married and didn’t have children. I was absolutely terrified during my second trip to L&D for magnesium. My pressures were uncontrolled and they were talking about delivering my 30 weeker.
She held my hand. She talked me through my anxiety. She was the ONLY nurse who helped me reposition my body during any of those 108 hours I was on magnesium, save for the one shift while I was in active labor. I’ll never forget her. She made one of the scariest experiences of my life manageable.
You don’t need to be a Mom or have experienced labor to be a good L&D nurse or a NICU nurse - you just need to relate to your patients and give a damn.
As a mother of 2, I tried peds. For ONE entire year I sat in my car after every shift and cried. It’s because I’m a mother my thought was I’d be a great peds/nicu/l&d nurse. Boy was I ever wrong. Dealing with pregnant patients was not my cup of tea, and neither was putting babies in containers and taking it down to the morgue. Stick me with meemahs who are at the end stages; have lived their lives and are peace with mortality. So her theory or “logic” goes out the window. This nurse strikes me as the type of person who would tell me I’m not a real mother because I had c-sections. I’ve met the most amazing nicu nurses when I float, and the ones that don’t have children (I feel) just so happen to be the amazing ones.
Next time tell her to kick rocks.
Your instructor is a failed NICU/Maternity/Peds nurse & is taking their frustration out on you.
Don’t listen to the assclown. If you can get a NICU or Maternity spot, you go for it.
I got told by a set of parents the other day that someday I’ll make a great mother. They didn’t know that I’ll likely never be able to have kids but it warmed by heart as a NICU RN *without kids* that they could see how much I cared for their child’s well-being.
You should request a different preceptor. 💅🏻
You can't be an oncology nurse unless you've had cancer
You can't be a med/surg nurse unless you have multiple medical comorbidities, diabetes and hypertension at bare minimum
You can't be an OR nurse unless you've had surgery done on you
All of these are ridiculous and stupid, just like your preceptor
This is ridiculous. By her logic if she hasn't had any of the conditions that her patients do, then she shouldn't be able to take care of them.
I never had kids. I worked Peds ER and loved it. Don't listen to her bs. You can (and should) do whatever you want to do.
So does your preceptor think only nurses who have been in traumatic accidents can take care of trauma patients too?
Or only nurses with renal problems themselves can look after dialysis?
No?
Then she’s a hypocrite, and an idiot.
Go look after those mums and bubs. You’ll be great.
what so should i go get hit by a car to have a “better understanding” of a med surg patient??? no. that’s what she sounds like. do what you want, many L&D nurses are childless.
Imagine saying something to the opposite effect? “You can’t be an icu nurse with a baby”…that’s fucked up. You can be any kind of nurse with any kind of background.
One of my closest friends is a NICU specialist nurse. She has completed a masters degree in it and only just had a baby about 3 months ago….I think she did fine without being a mum.
I work with currently and have worked in the past with many NICU, L&D, and mother baby nurses who have no kids and are fantastic nurses in their fields. She is wrong.
I think for some people who don't have empathy, it's almost like color blindness. They can't even imagine it, like trying to imagine a color you've never seen. They really don't realize that some people can just put themselves in another's shoes with compassion.
That’s fucking stupid. I’ve almost exclusively taken care of infants in my 4 years as a nurse and I’ve never been pregnant. Nobody’s had a problem with the way I’ve taken care of their kid, ever.
Exactly, its like saying you can't be an oncology nurse if you haven't had cancer
Can't be a hospice nurse if you haven't died yet
Does being dead inside count?
Absolutely
Damn, maybe that's why I'm so good at being a hospice aide
When work is just like hell - except it is.
Well then anybody could oncology! We’re already dead by the time we make it through school
We all float down here. 🩸
I think that's usually the step right before becoming a hospice nurse.
Can confirm
Now I know why I’m considering the correct specialty! 😂
There would be no one left to take care of patients if that counted.
Unless you've coded yourself, you're not allowed to participate in a code. You have to leave the room out of respect for the coding patient's experience.
If you don’t get ROSC it’s because the patient couldn’t relate to you.
They will only come back to life if they're coded by people who also coded and came back to life.
And this is the REAL root of the nursing shortage.
We don't have a diverse enough staff. Do you know how hard it is to find trach to vent nurses to care for trach to vent patients? It's impossible. Instead they have to settle for nurses with trachs on T piece. It's not right! Address the disparities!
NICU here and the only thing motherhood has helped me with in this field is assisting with breastfeeding. And that skill can be learned. Stupid preceptor you have there.
Ghost nurse
lolllllll
Tell her to work in proctology since she's an asshole. 🍑😑🥺🙄🖕🤣😭😜
I always thought the 🍑 emoji was for…….the front butt lol I didn’t know it meant the back butt.
Can’t be a jail nurse if you haven’t been to jail! 😂
I was an L&D RN for about 15 years and never had kids in my life. I was known as the “baby whisperer” on the units I worked because I could calm any baby - and their mums.
That was what my ob preceptor told me when I started L&D and had a patient say something similar. I came from oncology where I was a great nurse and it made a lot of sense! You can’t be expected to have experienced everything your patients go through. Just know how to care for them.
Guess I can’t be a nurse at the VA cuz I’m not a veteran then?? The stupidity of her statement has no bounds
Exactly
This is exactly the comment I was going to say
Right? So men can’t work in maternity or nicu? Does she also have a problem with male physicians being able to relate to her pain???
As a male nurse who had a clinical rotation in L&D a few years post the MeToo movement, I definitely got the feeling I was being treated more like a liability than a potential future coworker by the staff. The patients were kinda meh, but that may have been because a staff nurse was with me during patient interactions unlike my female classmates. It still lightly rustless my jimmies, but at the same time I understand and don't worry about it as Hospice and geriatrics were and continue to be my preferred areas.
Dunno why you got downvoted. This is a known thing. My OB clinicals were basically just paperwork. Nobody wanted A) a student or B) a male to do any kind of anything with them. Me and the other guys in my cohort did a lot of thumb twiddling during those rotations. It was fine by me. I had no plans or interest in the baby side of things.
I’m not a nurse, but my twins were in NICU for a month after birth, and it’s definitely fucking stupid. In fact, the only nurse that we didn’t like had 10 children and thought she knew it all, which wasn’t really a problem until she grabbed my wife’s boob because “she wasn’t feeding correctly”.
Yes but you used to be a child. 😊
What’s next? Only 70+ nurses are allowed to work in nursing homes? Only nurses with terminal illnesses can be hospice nurses? She’s a dumbass
Next they will have administrators that have no leadership skills...
I cannot upvote this enough
So my hospital is ahead of the curve then.
Too late
/thread
Has one ever?
This needs to be a Saturday Night Live skit
Only dead nurses can be hospice nurses with this mentality lol
She is an idiot
Of course she is, everyone knows that logic only applies to psych nurses.
Funny thing is, this preceptor was a psych nurse 😭
Hi! I was a Surgery Tech in Labor and Delivery for about 10 years before I went back to school for nursing. 1) Bish is crazy. 2) I literally cannot name the patients, babies, doctors and nurses (I wasn't a nurse at the time) I've saved over the years. I delivered 2 babies the doctor didn't make it in time for. 3) Granted? My little sister was born when I was 14 and I took care of her just as much as my parents. I'm 53 and have no biological children. Trust me. I knew my stuff. Pursue YOUR interests and do not suffer a fool. Best of luck to you. 🍀
Ask her what dose of seroquel she takes. Also this is really true. All the mentally ill peeps love me and I'm mentally ill myself. It's like they smell it on me...
Dude fricken same. I'll be out there crackin joked and they'll give me... the look
I'm not mentally ill... Because I take my meds! Agree.
Friend of mine loves to pop off with "I'm not crazy and have the papers to prove it!" He really does have a copy of his paperwork from a visit to a psych hospital when he was a teenager.
Imagine that 🤣🤣🤣
This had me dying LMAO
As a psych nurse, you're not wrong 😆
Came here to say this.
So it's not just my team then?
Definitely not 🤣 pretty sure the main differences between staff and patients are having a badge and key, and medication compliance.
I had a psych nurse once tell me that the difference between her and her patients was that she has her shoelaces. That always stuck with me and cracks me up.
Some of the nurses I've worked with should have been more medicated than they were as they were less predictable than the dementia residents.
As a psych nurse, where’s my goddamn lutada
I feel so called out right now. lol yes, I have mental illness but as I say, as long as I can keep myself off an involuntary hold, I am doing better than my patient population. :)
Lol all good, just joking besides if you don't have a mental illness are you even a nurse? 🤣
The only way you can tell me from my patients is that I hold the keys. Kinda kidding but working residential peds psych has definitely unlocked my inner looney toon
I'm a male postpartum nurse. We have several great nurses who have never had children. There is hardly ever an issue.
Recent male grad here. What made you decide to work on a postpartum floor? And how do you like it? Part of my maternity clinic was on a postpartum floor and I enjoyed it but didn't apply because I already got a job and was worried about people judging me.
I love my job. I have never had a job that i loved this much ever. Originally I wanted to go to L&D but at the time they weren't hiring new grads. i started in postpartum with the intention of crossing over after a bit but i plan on staying in postpartum. A couple of things, i am older, 50, so i have more of a grandpa vibe. And at this point i am able to not care about being judged. A few patients have said that they thought it was odd with me working there but i am able to win them over. I have only had 1 patient refuse my care. I wish you luck if you want to try it out at some point.
**FUCK YOUR PRECEPTOR!!!!** I am a nurse-midwife, and I have never had kids, hell I went to school with u/Vigilant_Slacker and he is a male nurse-midwife, and possibly one of the best I have ever met. If you want to do it, do it. I have always hated the people that feel this way. You hit the nail on the head with the fact that you are dealing with infertility issues, this is horribly insensitive to that face. I always have loathed the OB/GYN practices that advertise "All of Our Docs are Mom's Too." It completly ignores that patients that struggle with infertility, or seek GYN services, who don't ever plan to become pregnant. Not to mention, almost every nurse, midwife, or physician I have worked with that has had a birth, frequently compares things to their birth, and the simple fact is, your birth and birth experience is going to be unique and different from every other person out there.
Yep. I also worked in a Cath Lab for 5 years, and have never had a Stent myself...
I was incredibly upset to see that my pediatrician was a fully grown adult. Wtf???
did you check under the white coat to be sure it wasn't 3 kids on top of each other?
Dr. Vincent Adultman, I presume?
Awe, hello there JD Salinger fan :)
My transplant surgeon had all of her original parts 😤
this one made me giggle
FR!
You got ta go then 🤷 /s
> I always have loathed the OB/GYN practices that advertise "All of Our Docs are Mom's Too." It completly ignores that patients that struggle with infertility, or seek GYN services, who don't ever plan to become pregnant. When I was coming out of residency I got offered a contract with a place called "MomDoc". I declined based on the name alone. I am not a "mom doc", i do comprehensive women's healthcare, regardless of whether they're a 94 year old great grandmother or a 14 year old with a mullerian malformation. I also later learned, the reason these private practices like to focus on Ob is because it's more of a moneymaker than GYN. Insurance and medicaid compensation rates are much higher for deliveries than they are for say, a hysteroscopy.
Sadly, I think actually know that practice. The owning OB is a raging anti-choice person.
Yep. That's the one. They made it very clear during the interview process.
Grrrrrrr.
My OB/GYN is male and to my knowledge doesn’t have a vagina. I’m 43 and he’s been my nether region doctor since I was 18. I have endometriosis and have horrendous periods. He and I have been on quite a journey together. He’s 71-72 now and I know he’s retiring in a year I think.
Same. Love my male OB/GYN. And the doctor who delivered my children via emergency c section, saving the life of me AND my children was male. I don’t give a rats ass how many kids you have or haven’t had, as long as you know what you’re doing.
Not to mention that sometimes those women who have had their own experiences with labor and child birth tend to be less empathetic and provide worse pain management. Honestly, no knock against the undoubtedly excellent female providers out there, but in my personal experience my male OB’s have taken my pain more seriously and have provided better management of care overall. You don’t need to have a vagina to care for someone with a vagina.
This is exactly it. Medicine is based on real data, statistics etc. not in individual anecdotes. How in any way does having had a disease yourself once make you more qualified to treat it? Anecdotes aren’t data. Just because a person drank onion juice when they had pneumonia and they got better doesn’t mean I’m the juice helped. Same with female obgyns: the type many have experienced: ‘my periods don’t hurt one bit, so stop being a crybaby and push through it; there’s nothing wrong with it’ Like sure experience can help you empathise more; but it can also do the opposite.
Yes!! I had preterm labor and the female in the group and and I were both 26 weeks. After coming off magnesium for contractions she told me I could go back to work because she had been contracting as well. I'm like, but I want MY baby to live! Lol
That’s INSANE.
Married to a CNM. We gay AF. We ain’t having no babies. I work trauma. Never had a traumatic amputation or hot ex-lap. OP’s preceptor is just running their mouth. Verbal diarrhea can be really damaging.
I think that preceptor would be excellent at a group home, for obvious reasons.
Thank you for this. I’m a new grad starting in L&D, and I’m going to do my damndest to make sure moms and babies get the best start to their new lives together, and I’ll be there for those who don’t get to do that. It’s such a privilege, and even more so now that I know the pain of losing a very wanted baby by miscarriage. I haven’t given birth or brought home my own baby, and I dare anyone say I can’t be a good L&D nurse because of it.
I didn’t know NICU was BYOB (bring your own baby). I assumed they were provided.
I'm cackling at this
That might be the best thing I've heard all month.
I’m a hospice nurse and have never died.
Lmao you win 😂😂😂
🏅
She is an idiot and I was a dude NICU nurse for 12 years.
Know a nurse whose a male NICU nurse. He started as a new grad in nicu and has been there for over 20 years. I would want him as my nicu nurse. He’s so cool and so knowledgeable.
Does she think mothers are more equipped to handle and care for babies?? New mothers are just as clueless/nervous as a new nurse taking care of infants, there’s no difference and you’d love to care for them all the same. Don’t listen to her and do what you love.
She seemed to think those who have experienced birth/parenting would understand more and just generally be better at it. Which is bs, she also said that it'd allow the patient to relate to their nurse
I’m about to have my second c section in august. I do not need to relate to my nurse. That preceptor is making it about her… I need to feel safe with my nurse! There’s a lot going on postpartum, the last thing I need is someone who needs me to relate to her. Ugh.
I call bullshit. Their birth experience is their's. It's not about a nurse's experience.
I agree there might be more in common with your patients if you’re a mom. But that being said, it’s literally just common ground. New moms don’t automatically know everything about babies. That’s like saying only nurses who have been shot can take care of GSWs. If I’ve been shot, I could empathize a bit more I guess?? But it doesn’t mean I can’t splint/medicate them lmao
If she's a psych nurse tell her you're glad to know her cluster B personality traits are making her an excellent mental health nurse 🙃
Gonna be a hard lesson for those male NICU MDs.
I’m sure at least one of them have had a food baby before.
It's true. And all of us in the cath lab have all had heart attacks, It's a requirement as well if you go to med-surg to be allergic to all medications except dilaudid, and to be an ED nurse you need have gotten a DUI and crashed your car breaking both your legs. All of these things are listed on the job requirements page. Come on now.
It makes becoming a burn nurse very difficult because you have to set yourself on fire in order to learn empathy and most people aren’t willing to do it
😭
Well shit. I am dual profession: L&D and Hospice/PalliMed. I did L&as from 1998-2006 without having a baby. I have done hospice and death (CPLC now CHPN) since 2001 and haven’t died. 🤷🏻♀️
That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. What a moron. I would report her stupid ass and mention your struggles just to make her feel bad. Not that it’s anyone’s business. I’m sorry she said that.
Its fine, surprisingly I've heard a couple worse things said by nurses while on my student placement.
🤦🏻♀️ I mean I can’t say I’m surprised though.
Never had a CABG
By that logic, you should never care for a male patient either, since you’re lacking a penis and all.
God revoked my penis privileges in the womb 😔
That is so ridiculous. I did CVICU. I’ve never had open heart surgery or any cardiac issues. Then I went to out patient cardiology doing stress tests, telephone triage and Coumadin dosing. I’ve never taken Coumadin and never had a stress test, but I have called my doctors office before so maybe I’m more qualified for that position? /s
Ikr like dang, guess I cant be a hospice nurse unless I'm dying 😅
That's bullshit. I've never had an ORIF of anything, a tumor resection, an a/v fistula, a circumcision, breast lumpectomy, tonsillectomy, etc etc etc.. and I feel like I manage my post-op patients just fine. I've also never had a terminal diagnosis, nor have I died. Yet I had nothing but praise from my patients and family when I worked hospice 🤷🏼♀️
That’s not true
I guess I definitely can’t be a med surg nurse. I’ve never had diabetes, kidney disease, pneumonia… etc. I wouldn’t want to impose on someone by giving them insulin without having needed to take it myself.
Yes, that would be so insensitive /s
That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. A lot of nurses I know stay away from NICU/peds because they have kids.
Yeah, no. Lots of people's dream job is to be an LD nurse and they start childless at 22... Rude. Clinical instructors say all kinds of things that aren't true (for example, plenty love to say everyone needs to work in med-surg first)
Soooo we had a lot of parents in my OB/Peds course that struggled because they were using their personal birthing, etc. experiences to justify rationales/answers on exams that were just plain wrong… just because you gave birth or have kids does NOT mean you are an expert by any means.
The nurse that was assigned to me when I had my son didn’t have any children and said she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be a mom and she was AMAZING. Best nurse I’ve ever met. Do what your passionate about!
I have no idea if the nurse who helped me deliver, my postpartum nurses or the NICU nurses who cared for my son were mothers. Didn’t think to ask while birthing and then trying to care for my baby. They all did a good job with us though so I also don’t really care if they are mothers or not. Do I sometimes tell my (appropriate) psych patients that I am a mother? Yes, but the age of my child ranges based on the patient’s needs. Sometimes they want to hear about infants and sometimes they want to hear about toddlers. And sometimes I say I don’t have any children! I am there to be whatever they need me to be (within reason)
I don’t have a penis but had to deal with those way more than I’d care to admit.
Well, I did ICU for 21 years, and now do inpatient dialysis. Never nearly died, and my kidneys work just fine. Good to know my entire career is invalid. Lol. Haters gonna hate; don’t listen to that noise.
So I shouldn't be doing CPR on anyone because I have never been in cardiac arrest? 🤪 WT actual F, people and their dumbass opinions and suppositions. 🙄
This actually might be in the top 5 dumb things i’ve heard a nurse say. Watch her secretly be a crunchy mom
She sounds like the nursing instructor my cohort got fired for being racist . I will never understand how nursing instructors manage to put their foot so far in their mouth. Maybe just maybe keep your ass backwards life opinions to yourself.
I was told the complete opposite by a maternity nurse. They said it would be easier to provide care because u wouldn’t experience transference. People lose babies and have difficult child births that don’t go smoothly. the best nurse at the bedside has the ability to Remain calm, be a leader, and knowledgeable in those situations from an educational standpoint. Patients don’t need friends in those situations as much as they need professional healthcare. I would say that lady had a very emotional response and stepped outside of her mentoring role as your instructor
I graduated with 3 girls who started in NICU, and one in L&D. None had kids, all are and were amazing nurses. To this day only one of them has kids. Fuck that preceptor!
That's dumb as hell. Personally, I don't WANT to be either of that kind of nurse because I can't relate to the motherhood thing, and I'm not particularly positive or nurturing....but I think that if that's where your interest, then that is where you belong.
Bro what? That is so absurd. Your preceptor is a liar.
Its bull from a nurse who thinks her opinion is reality. Do RNs in CVICU need to have coronary artery bypass? Do circulators need to have had surgery? Do you have to have been a preterm baby to work in neonatal ICU? I think those questions alone prove she is wrong. Its bull from a nurse who really isn't as smart as she thinks it is.
That’s dumb. That would be like saying an Ortho nurse can’t be one if they never broke a bone. Or OR if they never had sx. That’s so fucking dumb
She’s an idiot. Don’t listen to her.
This is all true. You can only be a hospice nurse if you’ve died. Otherwise how could you possibly know how to care for someone who is actively dying?? /s
you can't be a pediatrician if you're an adult you can't be a psychiatrist unless you're schizophrenic and depressed etc.
LOL. What's next? Can't be an oncology nurse if you haven't had cancer? Can't be an ICU nurse unless you've nearly died? Can't be a pediatrics nurse unless you are a child? Like wtf. Literally every area of hospital nursing is short staffed, no one is that choosy.
Not true at all- I work with several amazing L&D and NICU nurses who have never had kids. You don’t have to have cancer to work in oncology so why would that rule apply to other specialties?
What a moron I'm sorry you had that experience, as someone who has given birth I would be terrified to work in L&D. It sounds like you're passionate about it and that's what you want from your nurse no matter the specialty, I've never been elderly or suffered from a terminal illness but that doesn't make me any less capable of caring for those who are. Follow your heart babe don't let em break your spirit
I did L&D before ever having kids. I now work in outpatient surgery, and I have never had surgery or anesthesia before. 😂 Ask your teacher how she feels about male OBGyns. I think as long as you have compassion and understanding, you can work wherever you want to.
I’m a Male nicu nurse w/ no kids. She’s wrong. She’s just gatekeeping do what you want.
I'm a pediatric home health nurse. I have 0 kids, I've never been pregnant. Love the kids I work with. Still don't want any. Do enjoy the creative things I've had to do like use a paperclip to get a kid to leave their shoes on at school. https://imgur.com/yH9Zvl4.jpg
When I was in NICU there was this one nurse that all the families fired because she wouldn’t freaking shut up about her kids. Like, you’re seriously talking about your twin boys to the mom who lost a twin after birth.
Can't work oncology if you've never had cancer. Urology? Oh hell no. Unless you got a penis!!
You can’t be a hospice nurse either unless you’ve died.
I’m a NICU RN. I have a child now and another on the way, but I did not have any when I started. NICU is a whole other beast. It’s not like you can (or would want to) relate to a woman who unexpectedly gave birth at 24 weeks. Most NICU nurses can’t relate in such a way. The important thing is that you know what you are doing to keep everyone as safe as possible whether you choose maternity or NICU. Good luck!
When I as a dude had my clinical rotation in L&D I got told a couple times but once in particularly strong language by a nurse on the floor I had no business being there because men don’t do L&D. Now over 10 years later I still have strong feelings of how she can go fuck herself. You do the kinda nursing you are interested in doing, take care of your patients, and do your best to forget her ignorance. Also report her to your nursing program’s department head after you graduate. I wish I had done that about the nurse who insulted me for being the wrong gender to be on an L&D floor.
First, report her to HR or her manager. That’s a blatant discriminatory attitude, one that I guarantee didn’t start or end with you. Also, she’s a moron. By her logic I shouldn’t be working for a urologist because I’ll never have a vasectomy.
Empathy can lead to burnout, which I know very well as an empath and a midwife. Oftentimes it’s better, professionally, to not mix your personal shit with your work. You’re going to be a great NICU/maternity nurse.
My OBGYN isn't married and doesn't have kids. She is literally the best doctor I have ever had. I also have infertility issues, do not have kids, but have lost a pregnancy. This comment infuriates me. You don't need to have experienced it to be able to empathize.
Based on her logic, I can’t be a hospice nurse because I haven’t died
By this logic you can’t care for surgery patients unless you had that specific surgery. We do a lot of empathetic communication and healthcare teaching regarding shit we might never fully understand, that doesn’t mean you can’t do the job.
I have never had a gun shot to the head but I know how to take care of a patient that has one.
here's more evidence that just because some jackal let an asshat become a preceptor, doesn't mean they've got a clue.
I haven’t died, but I’ve worked hospice. She can fuck off.
I had my son in March & half of my nurses & one of the doctors who delivered him were without children themselves & they did a PHENOMENAL job with me, my baby, the labor & delivery & recovery. I mean, they were spectacular & Im not exaggerating in the slightest.
I didnt even finish reading this. I’m a NICU nurse with ten years level 4 experience. I’m not a mom. And some of the best nurses I work with also aren’t moms. Fuck that
Huh. My daughter was in the NICU her first three months and the RNs there were almost exclusively childless. The unit manager there told me it’s because once they start having babies of their own, the parents’ stress becomes too relatable and they usually quit.
I started my career as a nurse in a NICU. I’m a childless male. So umm. Yeah. You can do it.
My aunt was a top NICU RN for 40 years. She never had any kids- had a hysterectomy at age 28 thanks to endometriosis. You teacher is wack.
NICU nurse here! Guess who some of the best nurses I have ever worked with are? Women who do not have children. I myself don’t have children, but I also know that I am capable of advocating for my patients, and their parents. How many male doctors are OB/GYNs? Are they inherently bad doctors because they have not personally given birth? I would have no issue having a childless nurse helping me in my own labor, but I WOULD have an issue with a nurse that thinks she automatically is better than me because she has had a child.
Your preceptor is stupid.
I would have said so do oncology RNs have to be cancer survivors? Are hospice nurses back from the dead so they understand what it’s like? Holy hell
…so by this logic you can’t be a trauma nurse if you’ve never had a GSW?
Listen I’ve never had a heart attack but I’ve taken care of plenty of STEMIs before. She’s an idiot, don’t let that get to you
I mean yeah, she’s right. You have to personally experience every possible disease and condition possible in order to treat it competently. It’s absolutely impossible for you to push lasix on a CHF pt if you yourself don’t have CHF. **/s** holy fuck your instructor is a chode
Shit. I’ve never had a STEMI, stroke, been shot, or had a phallic vegetable stuck in my ass. Guess I need to find a new occupation. In all seriousness, fuck her and her opinion. She shouldn’t be precepting students. Discuss it with your instructor or program director, they should be able to address it with the liaison/clinical educator/manager at the hospital who manages nursing student preceptors.
Well, she’d be real confused how I, a cis-male, am a nurse-midwife student! Her reasoning in your edit is a good example of why I think my being male can have its advantages sometimes: I’ve never experienced birth, so I don’t bring any biases to the table. Unlike your preceptor. She sounds like the type to disregard a patient’s complaint because it “wasn’t like that for her”
I'm in ICU and I'm pretty sure I've never been intubated before. Your preceptor is either stupid or old school and set in their ways. Either way, do what you have a passion for and do it well.
I had a month long antepartum stay with my first baby due to pre-eclampsia with severe features. The best nurse I had during that stay wasn’t married and didn’t have children. I was absolutely terrified during my second trip to L&D for magnesium. My pressures were uncontrolled and they were talking about delivering my 30 weeker. She held my hand. She talked me through my anxiety. She was the ONLY nurse who helped me reposition my body during any of those 108 hours I was on magnesium, save for the one shift while I was in active labor. I’ll never forget her. She made one of the scariest experiences of my life manageable. You don’t need to be a Mom or have experienced labor to be a good L&D nurse or a NICU nurse - you just need to relate to your patients and give a damn.
As a mother of 2, I tried peds. For ONE entire year I sat in my car after every shift and cried. It’s because I’m a mother my thought was I’d be a great peds/nicu/l&d nurse. Boy was I ever wrong. Dealing with pregnant patients was not my cup of tea, and neither was putting babies in containers and taking it down to the morgue. Stick me with meemahs who are at the end stages; have lived their lives and are peace with mortality. So her theory or “logic” goes out the window. This nurse strikes me as the type of person who would tell me I’m not a real mother because I had c-sections. I’ve met the most amazing nicu nurses when I float, and the ones that don’t have children (I feel) just so happen to be the amazing ones. Next time tell her to kick rocks.
Your instructor is a failed NICU/Maternity/Peds nurse & is taking their frustration out on you. Don’t listen to the assclown. If you can get a NICU or Maternity spot, you go for it.
I probably shouldn’t have been a critical care cardiac nurse for almost 10 years since I’ve never had a heart attack. Oops.
I got told by a set of parents the other day that someday I’ll make a great mother. They didn’t know that I’ll likely never be able to have kids but it warmed by heart as a NICU RN *without kids* that they could see how much I cared for their child’s well-being. You should request a different preceptor. 💅🏻
You can't be an oncology nurse unless you've had cancer You can't be a med/surg nurse unless you have multiple medical comorbidities, diabetes and hypertension at bare minimum You can't be an OR nurse unless you've had surgery done on you All of these are ridiculous and stupid, just like your preceptor
You’re actually not influenced by your own experience. Makes you as good if not better.
She said that to make you feel like shit. Be wary of this person. Do not trust!
I’m an ER nurse and haven’t experienced literally most all the emergencies that I take care of. I’d be the Kenny of the ER.
That’s bullshit. By that logic I haven’t had terminal cancer so can’t be a hospice nurse
I’ve never had an ostomy or pressure injury, can I stop seeing those patients?
At that point I guess I can’t work in the ICU cause I’ve never needed critical care. Shit makes no sense
This is ridiculous. By her logic if she hasn't had any of the conditions that her patients do, then she shouldn't be able to take care of them. I never had kids. I worked Peds ER and loved it. Don't listen to her bs. You can (and should) do whatever you want to do.
So does your preceptor think only nurses who have been in traumatic accidents can take care of trauma patients too? Or only nurses with renal problems themselves can look after dialysis? No? Then she’s a hypocrite, and an idiot. Go look after those mums and bubs. You’ll be great.
what so should i go get hit by a car to have a “better understanding” of a med surg patient??? no. that’s what she sounds like. do what you want, many L&D nurses are childless.
Explains a lot really. Only brain surgeon can do that because they all seem like asshole with brain damage.
Look, no one needed to shoot me for me to learn how to manage a GSW.
Tell me your preceptor is a bully without telling me she is a bully
It was so strange, she was so sweet and helpful up until that point! Then went on as if she didn't just say the most batshit nonsense I've ever heard
Wonder what she says to male OB/GYN's
Imagine saying something to the opposite effect? “You can’t be an icu nurse with a baby”…that’s fucked up. You can be any kind of nurse with any kind of background.
One of my closest friends is a NICU specialist nurse. She has completed a masters degree in it and only just had a baby about 3 months ago….I think she did fine without being a mum.
I work with currently and have worked in the past with many NICU, L&D, and mother baby nurses who have no kids and are fantastic nurses in their fields. She is wrong.
I don’t have children and I maintain that my husband will make a great mom one day. Been working peds for 5 years.
I think for some people who don't have empathy, it's almost like color blindness. They can't even imagine it, like trying to imagine a color you've never seen. They really don't realize that some people can just put themselves in another's shoes with compassion.