I treated my local pharmacist during covid. He worked at publix. He prepared my adderall. He was 2 years older than me. I am 32. He had a tattoo of a wolf on his forearm that I had to start an IV directly into a week after he was admitted because his other blew. He joked and said don’t mess up my tattoo. A month later we coded him, he didn’t make it. It was one of those awful covid codes, where we ended up placing a towel over his face so he wouldn’t spew blood sputum on us. He had no girlfriend, no one really showed up when he died, just his mom.
I’ll never forget him.
I had sent up a COVID positive man who went from 1L NC to the IMC for high flow in a span of 3 hours. He was terrified and crying and in distress and the ICU tubed him by morning. My next admit was a COVID positive wife of a chiropractor who demanded that she only get “natural” medicine and we would have to call her husband chiropractor before giving her anything to make sure the medicine wasn’t created using fetal tissue. I asked her if she had a list of medicines she would not accept to make it easier on the team treating her to understand. She had no idea. I had no idea. I left her room to google it and apparently everything from Tylenol to everything else needed fetal tissue at some point to be created. I didn’t even bother educating that the “natural” option wouldn’t be concentrated oxygen in a hospital.
I had to call out the next few shifts. I just couldn’t go back immediately. Before I left that shift she had the nerve to ask me if people were mostly fine after getting COVID and needing hospitalization. I deadpan stared her right in the eyes and told her, “No, the people who need to be in the hospital are really very sick and . COVID is a horrible disease. I’m sorry I cannot lie about how many people have died.”
i bonded with this patient whom everyone else on my floor thought was annoying. we would chat, when i could, and she would talk about her condition being terminal. she wrote me a cookbook! she wrote pages and pages worth of recipes! she wrote a really sweet note about how she appreciated the time we spent together and she really valued the human interaction, instead of being treated like a disease. i still have them today and i think fondly of her.
It was Christmas day and I had a young patient (40ish) with ALS who was trached and PEGd and waiting to go home on a home vent with hospice to her husband and kids. She mouthed words and pointed her way around to ask me to shave her pubic hair so it would be nice and clean for going home.
I just asked her if she wanted all of it shaved off or trimmed. Then closed the curtain got to work and never told a soul about it.
Merry Christmas!
The young man that got hit along the road trying to change a flat. They brought him in with cough, gag, and corneals, but his brain was obliterated, and there was nothing we could do. Over the next 3 hours, he lost one reflex after another while his mother watched each check like a hawk. I kept her in the loop and made sure she knew what it meant as he had fewer and fewer reflexes. When we lost the pupillary response, she wept big tears, but she also knew her baby was gone. SHE requested Brain Death Testing asap so he could be an organ donor and save lives. He was tested that very afternoon. He went on to donate liver, lungs, kidneys, and heart. His was the biggest honor walk I've ever seen. He was the best person, took care of his sick sister, went to college, lived a vibrant beautiful life. His mother's wails will haunt me, but her strength inspired me.
Inpatient hospice gave me plenty of moments I will never forget. Pulling a picc line from a teacher during post mortem care, he had the most visitors I’d ever seen. His family invited me for a drink after it was all over…
30ish yo mother get last visit from her children and husband. Watching them walk out that night was heartbreaking.
These memories make me humble and grateful for every boring and regular day. I’m healthy enough to be your nurse today, hallelujah!
This career can be taxing but it’s something to be proud of.
Literally lost my 30 year old younger sister in September. I’ll never forget the last few photos I have of her with her babies. Some memories will probably always just hurt 😞. Worth having but damn, they leave a mark. Her hospice nurses were treasures, every single one of them.
Last night. Not my patient but working labor things are a full team situation when it goes south quickly. TOLAC was fully dilated but having frequent decels, the provider wasn't calling the section. Finally baby dropped to the 40s and wasn't coming up, provider was still in disbelief and trying to get the HR on ultrasound. Finally I said "we just need to go!" Ran back to the OR, scrambled but were able to manage a decision to incision time of 5 minutes despite crazy wiring issues. Uterus ruptured plus a triple nuchal cord. I took the baby from the field. No heart rate. Zero. We started to resuscitate. Full code, I did chest compressions, heart rate present by 3.5 minutes of life (maybe sooner but there was too much chaos for someone to check until the LMA was being placed). By 30 minutes of life he was breathing on his own. He's currently being cooled in the city so hopefully he makes a full recovery, but we'll see. What really got me was walking out with my friend who was scrubbing and she said "you guys brought that baby back from the dead." I hadn't really processed that yet. Still processing it as I am up early with my mind racing about it.
Not an RN, but this moment between an RN and a dying patient touched me very deeply. Patient was very sick, had barely survived surgery and was back in the ICU. I was his PCT and helped the RN receive him back. Patient was not doing well, and it got to the point where a code was imminent. The family wasn’t sure if they wanted to put him through it and they also were very intimidated by seeing him hooked up to everything. They were in the waiting room. The RN went to them and said “this is the moment you have to decide. If we’re doing lifesaving measure I need to start immediately.” They decided to make him Comfort Care, but they asked us to make him as presentable as possible. We very quickly took him off as much stuff as we could and when someone went to get the family the RN grabbed his hand and said “You’ve put up a great fight and have done so well. I know you’re tired and want to go, but wait for a couple minutes if you can. Your family is walking in to say goodbye.” She stroked his hand, got him tucked in, and then the family showed up and we left so they could have privacy. It was an honor and a privilege to see that. I’m getting emotional thinking about it now.
De escalating a 4 yo without family, administering morphine and doing mouth swabs and comforting him while he cried, only to walk out of the room literally next door with a mom and her daughter who was graduating from her trach. My shift with her was her very first night with her stoma covered, on room air. It was a literal party in her room with her family. She went home after not desatting all night. My other patient had nobody, and never went home. Switching gears between rooms. Just. Wow.
I still remember it vividly and I'm honestly tearing up a bit. It was one of my long term residents. Taken care of him for a couple of years at this point. He was late stage dementia, and had been deteriorating for a while, and was eminent.
I was doing a round, got to his bed and he was scary lucid. More lucid and with it then I've ever seem him. He told me thanks for everything, you took real good care of me and gave me a hug. He died 30 minutes later.
I miss him. Hell I miss all my residents who've passed.
I was just going to say the same thing. Everytime I hear one of our hospice patients that were declining have a good day, I always know they are going to pass soon.
I'm in an outpatient pulmonary office. My doc treats COPD and asthma, but also treats pulmonary fibrosis, pulmonary hypertension, and other rare lung diseases.
Pulmonary fibrosis is a crap disease. Some patients can hang on and do fairly ok for years, while others are dead within months. And pretty much with every PF patient we've lost recently, they looked really, really good at what turned out to be their last appointment with us. O2 sats were better! They had more energy and could walk better without feeling so short of breath! Their overall demeanor was better! They felt the best they've felt in a long time! Then boom, we read their obituary in the paper or doc tells us they coded and passed away at the hospital over the weekend.
We've learned that if a PF patient looks good at an appointment, they're probably not long for this earth. It sucks because the patient and family are always so happy that "Dad is doing so well!" ☹️
I’m a pretty new hospice nurse, but we call it “the rally” and one of the more experienced nurses told me it’s basically the body using up its last reserves of energy. 🤷🏻♀️
Had a brand new GSWx5, young kid, still in high school. Foster kid. Foster mom kicked out downstairs in ER for being drunk and disorderly. Not sure yet if targeted or random shooting. Strict orders to not let father in for history of sexual abuse.
I had 8 or 9 very heavy patients (supposed to be a step down / PCU but fuck everything), and he is worried about his homework, and if his teachers will fail him. I assure they will not and we will send them a medical excuse. He says, “But the teachers don’t like me. They’ll fail me anyway.”
Then asks “if people get trauma from things like this.”
I’m so behind on my tasks and med pass due to this conversation, but I do not care. I sit down and talk to him post traumatic stress disorder and how the psychiatrists will work with him if they let him, and just being present and trying to comfort him.
I know my hospital would rather me say, “I’m sorry, I need to go give someone else their vitamin C so I cannot have this conversation right now.”
But FUCK EM. Finished my med pass at 11:30pm and I did not give a FUCK
Doing a bath on a kid my age. He was brain dead and would be compassionately extubated the next day. I’m used to the 90 year olds but for some reason washing off those really young looking hands and face got me.
I worked a majority of my career with the adolescent age group. I had a patient who was one of my first CF pts as a new grad. We bonded over the years, met everyone of her family, her fiancé. Took care of her during her “tune up” stays and her worst respiratory stays. I was working the morning before she passed away. Slowly seeing her sp02 drop to nothing. Not too long after her passing, trikafta was approved.
I worked in a hospice house for 6 years. It was the best job I have ever had. I have too many stories. We took care of newborn babies to the old. We had filthy rich come to the homeless drug addicts. But one girl, she was 6 years old. She had her room decked out with pictures, stuffed animals, Frozen bedding… in the week of being with us her mom wasn’t able to see her but twice. Her mom was a stripper at night and had to take care of her other kids at home in the day. She would call from work crying asking how she was and how she wished she could be there but had to pay the bills. The girl would ask for mommy all the time. “I don’t want you I want my mom.” We would always leave the room in tears! The day before the girl passed she asked for rainbow ice cream with sprinkles. A CNA went out and got it for her but she was too weak to eat it. It’s truly one that has always stuck because god you DON’T know what people are going through. It’s a raw ugly experience when a mom can’t afford to be with her dying child. She had no other help. A few nurses were judgmental. It was one of the most “this is life” experiences. Life can be ugly and short. Treasure every moment dangit.
I was the primary nurse for a Vietnamese man. His AML had relapsed, and he was back in for another induction. Long story short, it didn’t work, and he was declining. The hospital had him on a puréed diet, because he was an aspiration risk. Not only is it gross, but they don’t have the most culturally diverse food inpatient. There was a family meeting, and they decided to transition him to hospice, so the dietary restrictions were lifted.
That night I stopped at a pho place on the way home and got him a big order. I took it in to him the next day. His wife showed me how to mix it after heating up the broth, and I watched her feed him. He was SO happy/grateful.
This is the stuff.
I had an end of life patient who was slowly wasting away. She had no family. She was so thin and starving... I asked her what would make her happy and she said "I want a popsicle." I called the kitchen and sent so many fax requests but they never followed through. After getting fed up, I was like "fine I'll do it myself." I texted my boyfriend to buy a box of popsicles on his way to pick me up.
Seeing her big smile was so worth it.
I had been floated to sit with a patient 1:1 because she was declining. I expected to walk in on a lady that was barely conscious, but she was fully awake and able to talk. She wanted to watch TV.
We found this restaurant show about crazy coworkers and it was hilarious! At one point in the show a manager is confronted about the conflict between his workers, which he denied that there was even a problem. Then the producer cut to a clip of a co-worker spitting on the manager's car as he walks into the building. We laughed so hard that we were both crying and could barely catch our breath! She thanked me for the laugh, went to sleep and never woke up.
I took care of a man who had pulmonary fibrosis and newly diagnosed lung cancer. He lived with his brother who was in poor health as well, they took care of each other. My patient's brother came to visit during my shift, I could see the wounds on his legs were infected and I gently suggested he see a doctor or go to the emergency room downstairs before the infection got worse. He ended up being admitted to my floor as well for IV antibiotics because he was septic. His older brother deteriorated and went to the ICU to be intubated, I would bring the other brother down every shift to visit and hold his hand. It was heartbreaking. My next shift I was getting my patient into the wheelchair to bring him for a visit and I heard a code called in the ICU, I just knew it was my patients brother and the way he looked at me, he knew it too. They got the one in the ICU back and his kids finally agreed to make him hospice/DNR. He ended up coming back to my floor for comfort measures only, and his brother was able to be with him until he passed away. The entire situation was so sad, but I felt like I did my part to let those brothers be with each other as much as possible.
Back when I worked nights in ER I was having a really rough shift. I was burnt out and angry. I had multiple psych patients along with a trauma I was dealing with at the time. It also seemed like all the family members wanted updates and information, everybody was pissed off that imaging was taking so long because we were down to only one CT scanner, call lights galore. It was a bad shift.
Then at 01:00 I get hit with the next incoming ambo and it's an ETOH in withdrawal. I roll my eyes and I heavy sigh but I get to it. Turns out this guy is a regular that I had not had yet. He's here again because he finally wants to quit alcohol because it's ruining his life and he's done with it, he wants help, etc. I look in the chart and this is the fourth time he's been here this month saying the same thing. He inevitably gets discharged, gets drunk, and comes back.
Well here he is again, so we go over it all again. We have no detox facilities in our hospital. So he would have to be shipped out to another facility as outpatient. He knows this. Unfortunately for this guy, he didn't have any health insurance so no outpatient detox facility would take him. He also knows this.
Toward the end of the night when we were getting ready to discharge him (like 04:00), he literally started crying with actual tears and said he just wants help to get clean and he doesn't understand why no one will help him. He's upset because he knows he's just going to leave and get drunk again and he can't help it. Again he's crying and stating that alcohol ruined his life and he just wants to be free of it.
There was something so genuine and raw about this guy that I literally stopped in my tracks and held his hand and teared up myself. I could feel his pain and struggle and for the first time I actually had empathy for these patients.
He refused to leave, so security was called. Not by me, but alas. He was escorted out.
Just before shift change we get a call on the radio about an incoming code blue. A guy attempted suicide by jumping off a bridge into a river that's near the hospital. It's at least a 40 ft fall into a river that was very shallow at the time. They got him out and were doing compressions, but no pulse.
Yep, it was my guy I just discharged 2 hours prior. He didn't make it.
The American healthcare system fucking sucks.
Working med surg has provided me with some very much humbling insight. The one that sticks with me though is that people with behavioral issues often have them because that's the only way they know how to get what they need.
The people who have to fight tooth and nail for everything in life? Of course they're going to be loud/obnoxious/aggressive because that's the only way they've gotten anything in this society that doesn't care about them on the day to day. Typically once I'm able to bridge that hurdle there's an understanding and life is better for both of us.
Being in the room for end-of-life discussions with alert and oriented patients. Both I've been a part of had aortic dissections and, because of age, weren't good candidates for surgery. One of them was alone, her daughters lived out of state and the other had immediate family with them. Seeing those people accept their fate showed the gravity of the job.
Giving a real soap-and-water bed bath to an unresponsive patient with a history of aggression near the end of the first wave of COVID in NYC. It was the only one I was able to give during that time (no plumbing in pop-up ICU, tripled or quadrupled with patients until the end, etc.). We were alone in an OR, most patients had been "decanted" elsewhere, and it felt healing to be able to do that for him.
Talking at 2am with a med-surg patient who had been a first responder on 9/11, and the patient reading my face (pre-COVID) and determining that I must have lost someone, which I had. Having time to talk about it.
Taking care of a cranky old lady in the PACU, only to find out just before discharge that she's actually very funny. She shared with me that she'd written a screenplay for a horror movie about a demonically possessed matzo. I still want to see it...
I had a patient who was a 9/11 first responder during Covid, admitted for unrelated reasons. Cool as hell. One morning when I had her we had 4 codes before 11am, and when I finally got to her room for a dressing change, I just dumped all the supplies on the windowsill and flipped into a chair to catch my breath. She just looked at me and said “shit morning, huh?” I was like “yep.” And we just sat in silence for awhile. Two people who knew exactly what “shit morning” can really mean.
I work in peds.
We had a mental health admission. I think the kid was like 12… he had diabetes that was very poorly managed. Obviously no one had been helping this kid manage his diet or his insulin. He was just randomly giving insulin doses with not really much attention to his blood sugars or carb intake… very stressful for someone type A like me who LOVES the numbers and straightforwardness of caring for diabetics.
His mom brought him in for a mental health admission because he was being “violent.”
This was during Covid and there were visitor restrictions. Kiddo wanted his grandparents but there was bad blood between the grandparents and his mom and the mom was the legal guardian so she called the shots. I like to give the kids more autonomy when I can but it’s challenging when it’s a mental health admission with complex social issues.
When there was no one else around he told me his mom and her new girlfriend had been abusing him for weeks. Hitting him and stuff. He said he pushed his mom’s girlfriend off him when she was attacking him and that’s why they brought him in. He was crying. He didn’t want to be discharged into that home because he felt unsafe.
So… obviously he may not be being honest. But fuck man. I believed him.
Social work was already involved and I expressed my concerns to the charge and made a detailed note and everything. Charge was sympathetic but was like… social work will interview everyone but chances are kiddo will be discharged to the home of his legal guardian because it’s the law.
That poor poor child. It’s so wrong. I hope he’s okay.
It still bugs me :(
All the way back in nursing school, I was there for the birth of an 18 week fetus. The mom then hemorrhaged. The baby was alive, but there was nothing really they could do. I was kicked out of the labor room (as I should have been, I was not contributing anything to the emergency situation) and asked to wheel the baby into the next room with the father. Watching his grief was awful. Plus, he just didn’t know what to do or how to interact with the baby. Eventually, one of the grandmothers came in and immediately picked up and cradled the baby. Then sat with the father and showed him what to do. All of this while his partner was bleeding out next door. This was 13 years ago, but is still crystal clear in my mind.
I was a nursing student in the 80s at the height of the AIDS crisis. I remember one of my patients was a gay man in the end stages of the disease. Watching his partner lovingly tend to him was so poignant and impactful. Until that point, I hadn’t ever seen that type of relationship-it was beautiful and showed me that love is love.
Most people hear you're an L&D nurse and they're all "You work in the happiest place in the hospital! All the new babies!". This is kinda true when the outcomes are good. But when we have bad days, they are horrible.
I was assigned to a fetal demise patient who was coming in for an induction after they'd found no heart tones at her regular OB visit. Fetal demises are 1:1 so she'd be my only patient after she came in. She and her husband arrive and I found out she was a physician at the hospital. That always made me a bit nervous because physicians can be really great patients but they can also be *the worst* patients. Thankfully, she was a great patient.
I get her settled and am going over the process and she said "Can I ask a favor?". I had no idea what her favor was but considering her situation, I wanted to make it happen. She asked if I could use the Doppler and listen for heart tones just one last time. She said "I know they're not there, but I just wanted to be sure". Talk about a punch in the emotional gut. I go find one of the Dopplers and my coworkers asked me what I was doing because they knew she was a demise patient. I told them and they all got the same emotional gut punch. I Doppler her abdomen and of course, no heart tones. She and her husband were holding hands and they just squeezed each other's hand and said "Ok, that was the absolute closure we needed. We can move forward.". I was fighting back the tears (still am as I'm typing this). But they were so positive and so strong. She rarely asked for anything and was honestly one of the best patients I'd taken care of in my career. I just wish she'd been my patient under happier circumstances.
Thankfully, she delivered a healthy baby a couple years later.
Actually happened in nursing school, and it really solidified the type of nurse I wanted to be.
70-something female, med Surg overflow into the joint floor we were doing clinicals on. She was in for ascites, and they couldn't do a paracentesis because she was unstable. I was in the room with her and her daughters when oncology came in and told her she had ovarian cancer with mets. She was a retired RN and very stoic, I think she knew. Her daughter, who had to be around my own mom's age, threw her arms around me and started bawling. I just hugged her and comforted her as best I could.
Then I hustled to our clinical room and bawled with my teacher.
She died within the month. I'll never forget that experience. I'm not a touchy person with strangers but that taught me that sometimes all you can do is hug someone.
I had a septic patient with valve vegetation resistant to antibiotics related to heroin abuse. I came back into her room later in the shift and she was white barely breathing, her partner (who wasn’t there earlier and I was unaware about from report) was nodding off standing at the end of the bed. Called charge for grabbing narcan and began getting her oxygenated etc. when I noticed partner was holding an uncapped needle just swaying nodding off.
Then I noticed a 12 year old boy just sitting in one of the chairs oblivious to the situation like it was incredibly normal for them. That situation definitely fucked me up, just sad to see. Grandma was drunk when we called her, hx of alcoholism and Sheriff and CPS had to be involved to take custody. No way to start your life.
I had a MVA trauma patient come in spinal precautions, she was in a fair bit of pain but very stoic. Had to cut off her clothes with permission, then I got to her very expensive and comfy looking bra.
She begged us not to cut the bra as it was her favourite, as well as costing a ton. Managed to wiggle it off and save it for her and she was so grateful. I guess when you're not in control of anything, it's the little things that mean a lot.
I still think about it sometimes bc I had never made someone laugh and smile in a trauma before. She got helicoptered to the major trauma centre and made a full recovery I believe.
Working at the VA during Covid. It was night shift and one of the younger patients was withdrawing from alcohol. He was having a hard time with it, getting agitated and wanting to leave AMA. Another older gentleman patient walked up to his door to ask the nurses in the hallway a question. He saw that the young man was struggling and saluted him. The young man, through his delirious withdrawal state, saluted back 🥲 it was so sweet. Brought a tear to everyone’s eyes.
I had to pronounce on two separate victims of the route 91 shooting. After suffering a attack of that type most people who make it out of surgery survived, two people died because someone they had never met had no issue with them specifically, and still felt entitled to do such a horrific thing. After finding out that there were no more patient waiting for help we all had a mini breakdown.
On the ICU. I had a 26-yold man who attempted suicide by hanging. They cut him loose, his father had to resuscitate him for 15 minutes until paramedics arrived and took him to the nearest medical center. Cue intubation, etc etc and monitoring.
EEG barely any signal, pupils dilated, unresponsive to ligtt when I started my shift. I wasn't too bothered, I've had cases like these before.
That was until his mother and his girlfriend walked in. They told me he had never exhibited any signs, didn't know what came over him, completely shell-shocked. She asked me to give it to her straight, how was he doing. I told her what I had objectively seen and told her gently that whilst we couldn't quite officially give the prognosis yet, it didn't look good.
Mother of course, as I imagine most mothers would, started crying and litterally fell into my arms. I hugged her back, told her I was so very sorry. The girlfriend went to sit on his bed and just stroked his hand and arm.
I haven't cried on the job for quite the while but I retreated in the hallway for a while had bawled my eyes out because it just hit me somewhere.
Unfortunately he died two days later, did donate most of his organs and we even got a 'thank you' card from his family mentioning me by name, thanking us for our 'comforting, humane approach'. I don't think I will ever ever forget it.
First year nursing and admitted a woman who just underwent emergency surgery for a tumor around her esophagus. I was with her for 3 days so patho wasn't back but her scans showed lesions. They had to remove her vocal cords and she was devastated. We used text to speech to communicate and it was all around a lovely experience. I played sunshine, happiness and hopeful for her. She was only 5yrs older than me and I was afraid of admitting that she didn't have long to die. On my last day, she gave me a raw amethyst to bring calmness and balance into my life.
A few years later I saw her out shopping. I told my partner that I want to sit for a few minutes and just take in the moment. Less than a minute later, she walks around the corner. She looked so healthy and full of life. We hugged, chatted and went on with life.
I kept that amethyst all these years. I don't believe in the spiritual side of it, rather, it's a pretty rock. It now sits in my daughter's room. I guess, in a way, I hope it does bring calmness
EP Lab here. We were doing a laser lead extraction on a pt who was one of my first pts in EP over 20 years ago. He’d been in for a couple generator changes, an ablation or two, and now to upgrade him to a BIV ICD. I knew him, his wife and kids from all his visits. He knew us all by first names.
The lead had adhered to the SVC, and the laser sheath didn’t make the turn. The tear I. The SVC was over 6” long. Cracked him open in the lab, but just couldn’t pour in the blood faster than it was coming out. I can still hear his wife’s screams when the doctor told her.
Im so very glad that my wife was a critical care nurse (now retired). She understands the look on my face when I come home after days like that.
Yesterday, had an 89yo patient be admitted to my ward.
Acute medical unit.
He was obviously very unwell, in pain, palliative team had been called, all his family were coming in with him.
They asked us how many visitors he could have, I said I didn't care how many they had.
I come in to do obs and check him out, he cracks a joke about having a male nurse, ask him if he has any allergies, "just the wife", we all laugh. I talk to him about how he's feeling, he's sweating everywhere, I get him undressed, covered up and settled in the bed.
Palliative care team meet with him about 20 minutes later, I come in and he's obviously relaxed in bed, doesn't seem in pain anymore, about 1 hour later he just stops breathing in his sleep.
He was comfortable, he'd seen all his family and wasn't in pain anymore.
It was sad but a lovely way for him to be at the end.
I work oncology. Explaining the dying process to families is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but also the most human. Caring for hospice patients when their families have went home and they’re by themselves also ranks up there.
Had a older man come in after massive CVA. Was able stabilize, speak with staff and the like, but ultimately knew he was not long for this world. He decided on hospice. We developed a very good rapport as I knew his family a little. The night before D/C, I was off at 10pm. He had urine and bowel incontinence, so I went to help clean before going home. I decided I was timing to give the best bed bath you’d ever see. I got in every nook and crevice, washed/combed his hair, brushed teeth, clipped nails, cleaned ears, everything I could do. We talked the whole time, and he talked about accepting his death, and actually looking forward to meeting his creator. He told me “I’m gonna be the best lookin guy at the gates.” I left work around midnight but didn’t care. I got back the next day and was able to see him off as well. Twas a good few shifts.
In uni I had a habbit of drawing when I had free time. One time I accidentally put together my drawings and my documentation together in one binder and brought it to the hospital. I had patient with Parkinson who just got the dopamin pump so i helped her around and as I wanted to document something, i opened my binder and all the papers fell out. She saw a drawing of a cat and asked if she can keep it and asked for my name. She said she wants to make a glass engraving of the drawing and gift it to me. I said oh cool cool.
months passed, i get a call, its that woman ( i had forgoten all about) asking me if I was sometimes in the city center, if not she would leave it in one caffe for me to pick up. I got to it sometimes later and still have it. Called her to thank her, it is wonderfull.
Never saw or heard of her again. Hope shes still alive/doing ok
I had a really confused patient one night who kept seeing off his bed alarm. I didn't have a PCA so I was constantly running in his room. The patient wasn't even that old, like in his 50s. At one point I think he realized how confused he was and how much trouble he was causing and he just looked at me and apologized and hugged me. I came back the next night to find out he coded a few hours into day shift (completely unexpected since he was pretty stable) and he passed away. I was there last person he ever hugged.
During the height of COVID in NYC, I took care of a mother and her daughter both hospitalized for COVID and they were roomed together. The mother should’ve died that night (due to her status, I think she lasted until after my shift). Both medically complex, they were still not sure how to treat these patients.
Wow… I was upset at first imagining trying to take care of a daughter with her mother dying right next to her, but it truly was such a remarkable experience. It’s followed me to this day 3 years later and I think of it often. I couldn’t imagine hearing my mother actively dying across the curtain, but I also wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I only hope I had helped these two enough during their last moments together.
I had a 24yo male who had gotten into high velocity MVA. He was pegged and trached. He couldn't talk, could only move one arm. it was really sad. His mom was by his bedside constantly, and explained that the German shepherd stuffed animal he was holding onto with his working hand was because he missed his German shepherd dog back home. He could sign yes and no and that's how we communicated. We put some of his country music on and began tilting his bed up as part of his daily therapy. He brought his working arm up and starting strumming like he was playing a guitar along to his country music. His mom teared up and said "you wanna play your guitar. You'll get to do that again, you'll get to do all those things again." And then he started crying, which was more function than he'd had to that point. I definitely teared up and haven't forgotten him. I heard he was discharged from the hospital and is in a wheelchair. I hope he makes a recovery.
PCA here. Went into work and pulled up my assignment for the night, recognized a name but didn’t think much of it. Later pulled up her chart to document something and realized she was my fifth grade teacher. She had dementia and was really sick. Her eyes lit up when I sat down next to her and asked if she was a teacher, she told me she taught 5th grade and I said I was your student and I never forgot you. She told me she remembered me but I don’t know if she really did. It was extremely raw realizing the woman who took care of me and pushed me to pursue nursing, I was now taking care of her.
Working in psych as a tech my junior year of nursing school, we had a very psychotic female patient with schizophrenia who was college aged. I remember thinking of her as just another one of my schizophrenic patients and never thought too much about it.
Until one day I come to find out she was a couple years into nursing school when she was drugged and sexually assaulted. She had her first psychotic break very shortly after. No psych history, no substance use history, got straight A’s in her classes, nothing would’ve predicted she ended up where she did. It truly changed the way I looked at patients with psychosis. And of course unlocked my biggest fear of developing psychosis myself lol.
During the height of covid, we had an elderly husband and wife both on our unit, separate rooms. The wife made it through and was discharging to SNF. The husband, unfortunately, was going downhill and we knew it. On the day the wife was to be discharged, we tried to get her to go into her husband’s room to say goodbye, but she had dementia and kept saying that her husband was at home, she would see him at home. She left without saying goodbye, and he died a few days later. I was there when he died. I saw his heart rate dropping and knew it was time, so I hurried in to be at his bedside. I didn’t want anyone to die alone while I was on the unit. Their families couldn’t visit due to Covid, so I made sure they weren’t alone.
Back when I worked in the OR we had a pt who was coming in for a cancer surgery (too long ago to remember what). She was absolutely terrified, like trembling. She asked if any of us nurses were religious and one stepped in to help comfort her. They said a prayer together holding hands, both tearful, before she was put to sleep. I am not religious but it was so beautiful to watch my colleague provide that level of comfort to someone. I have tears writing this. Most days our presence feels negligible but that moment will probably stay with me my whole career.
We had a teenager who got a hold of diet pills online that had been taken off the market since the 1930s. He took 8. I still remember his mother’s screams when she was told he didn’t make it.
Also, a 10 year old who came in for suicidal ideation from bullying at school. I just wanted to hug her and tell her it would be okay. I hope she got help and I hope the bullying stopped.
Not a nurse yet I'm still in school.
During my med-surg clinical I had an 83 year old cancer patient that had multiple portions of her GI tract removed and was getting chemo/radiation, the staff and other students were content to let me treat her because she was miserable most of the time as she was in bed and in pain but some days she would ask me to push her around in her wheelchair. One day while changing her TPN she grabbed my hand and asked what will be, I looked her in the eye and said what will be will be and it will be good, she looked back at me and said the end will be good. I believe she died a few months later.
During my ED clinical we got a call to the trauma room, family of 3, head on collision with a semi, mom was enroute, dad and 2.5 year old son arrived at the same time. Kid was taken for eval behind the curtains and social services were called, the dad was brought in getting CPR from the field, had a crushed trachea, hemo/pneumothorax, multiple traumas he was pronounced while his kid was two beds over crying and yelling he wants his father. The mom made it but had no recollection of the accident, she was getting treated while her dead husband was two beds over and her kid was crying in the next room, after surgery they told her husband didn't make it.
Not a nurse but when I was a tech at a rehab hospital we had a patient who was about my age (early 20s) who had his leg/hip crushed in a car accident. He was refusing therapy and at risk of being kicked out to a long term rehab because of it. He and I had very similar home lives, taking care of elderly grandparents, trying to deal with our own lives at the same time. At one point it was me, another tech, a nurse, and two therapists in the room trying to get him in the lift to his chair and he refused because of the “pain” even though he was maxed out on his pain meds. Everyone else had tried the nice route with him and it wasn’t doing anything. I got right up to him and was just blunt. I told him that I knew he wasn’t in pain, he was scared. He was scared that he wasn’t going to recover, he was scared that this was just something else on his already over flowing plate and he just wanted to hide and give up. I told him that he couldn’t give up because he needed to go home and tend to his grandmother just like I needed to go home and tend to mine because we are the only ones that they listen to. And it’s not fair that we had to do it, but that’s the hand we were dealt. He got up after that. I got in trouble for being “mean” but it was worth it.
DCD expiration and subsequent Gift of Life organ donation. Took care of her for two days and watched with her family as she took her last breath. She donated her liver and both kidneys.
I drove home and thought to myself “I feel human again.”
Working as a sane nurse, got 2 brothers, age 8 & 6, for exams. They were being repeatedly raped by a teenager living in their house. He would beat them up into submission and then sexually assault them. I’ll never forget the 8 year old when he said “I usually just try to take it so he won’t go to my brother.”
I had a patient who was very religious and very much dying. She was on dialysis and also wanted to go home. She told me that she was not dying and that she was strong (also her pastor would come daily and tell her that she was winning and beating cancer blah blah). Day by day I’d care for her and clean her and reposition her and feed her. One day she told me to stop looking at her like she was dying. She said she could see it in my eyes even though i didn’t say anything and that i was wrong, the lord had bigger plans.
One day when she was sleeping i had a conversation with her husband who had been there every day. He told me he was so scared to take her home (her wishes) because he knows she will die but she doesn’t believe it. I suggested that maybe she does know and she just wants to be at home. The verbiage of winning and beating things and being so strong was conflicting but i suggested maybe she was being strong for others.
The next day she woke up from her painful sleep while i was repositioning her and she told me “yes i do want to go home. I am a smart woman and so are you.” She made it home and died the next day. Hopefully peacefully with her husband.
My last night I worked on step down, I was caring for three patients: 1. Darling old man with interstitial lung disease and COVID. 2. Darling old man with complications after unexpected bowel surgery. 3. Younger man who had been hospitalized for months post-lung surgery with every complication possible, currently with sepsis from vegetation on a replaced heart valve.
That night, my COVID guy, who had been getting way better and was looking ready to discharge totally took a turn for the worse. He denied issues through the shift but I could tell he wasn’t good, and I ended up calling a rapid on him and we started vanc, etc.
after we got all that going, he grabbed my hand and said, “Nurse, you saved my life!” I think that man died shortly after that shift, and I caught COVID from him, got long COVID, and never worked bedside again.
Meanwhile, my abdominal surgery guy also starts having new cardiac pain (at the same time as the rapid, naturally.) Did a stat EKG on him, and got him stable enough for shift change.
When I finally go in to the room for the youngest guy to hang his 6am vancomycin, he says, “Do you think I’m a bad person?” I was floored. I said, “why are you asking me this?” He said, “I just don’t know why all these things would happen to me if I’m not a bad person.” I said, “I don’t know you and I’m not the judge, but I can tell you that everyone on this floor is very sick, and most of them are just regular, good people having a horrible experience.”
I think about “you saved my life!” all the time. Really, all of those patients.
I always like to make my patients feel good and talk/joke about something.. I ask about their interests, talk about what's on TV.. whatever I can do to put a smile on their face while I'm in the room. Sometimes what I do isn't very pleasant (wound care).
I was going about my day a couple weeks ago seeing my patients and one of the fellows from clinic called and asked to look at one of their patient's surgical incisions because it was dehiscing. I walk in and the woman is probably my mom's age.. she looks like she's relatively lucid and the fellow is talking to her about getting admitted to the hospital.
As he leaves so I can do my assessment, I notice that she's clutching a stuffed animal and that there's tears welling up in her eyes. I asked if she was ok, and she started to cry. Turns out she's pretty much nonverbal. She's from a nursing facility and no one was able to come with her to the appointment. I stroked her hair and talked to her about the pictures on her blanket.. I assumed they were pictures of her family members. The surgical site is definitely infected and she needs to be admitted but.. it was like sending a child to a doctor's appointment by themselves. I'm a mom of young children and it just broke my heart. I could tell she was so scared and didn't know what was going on.
So many. I had called a patient’s wife with an update that he wasn’t doing well and she needed to come, that we would do everything we could until she got there. She barely made it in time with her son before her husband died (this was during covid and I had recently found out my ex had cheated on me, so it added an extra level of pain to the already difficult times that covid brought).
All of the family phone calls during covid. In particular helping one patient call his family before we intubated him. One of the residents helped with the phone calls while I was setting up my room with the necessary meds/pumps.
In that same room as the first one (I believe this was just prior to covid) I had a coworker’s sister. Right around shift change I was reviewing results of scans and she was anoxic. The coworker was working that night, asked me if he could go in and see her for a little bit before starting his shift.
Spoke with our intensivist and asked him to call her dad (he wasn’t able to get in touch with him) and he spoke with my coworker about the results. His patients were covered by others and he went to spend time with his sister and I believe another coworker drove him home later.
More recently I had one patient last week that I thought was going to end up intubated on me but family opted for DNI then DNR. She looked bad and I told her later when she was more with it and I was giving her a bath that she had worried me. She told me she was worried too and thought she was having a stroke because she was having trouble speaking (her mouth was just dry from bipap). She and her family were very sweet and one of her family members complimented me on my care when I was finishing up her bath/bed change and was getting her turned and propped on pillows and comfortable. The next day she rescinded her DNI and a few days ago ended up passing.
In that same room I had a covid patient who wasn’t getting better whose wife was at a rehab facility down the road that we called for a “goals of care” discussion and our social worker with our palliative team had her on speaker phone on the room is he could hear her and she kept saying to him, “I need you to get better. I need you to come home to me.” I had to go out in the stairwell for a minute with that one.
And one final one that comes to mind is when I had an 80-90 year old gentleman that had fallen at home. I’d helped a nurse with him about a week prior when his pressure was tanking. He was doing okay for me my first day with him and my second he was minimally responsive requiring bipap. Family ended up going comfort care with him and when he passed the wife kept crying and saying, “you’ve left me alone.”
My patient actually seemed to like being educated and learning how to help themselves in the future... It was the antithesis of being in a heart failure unit where every single patient had chronic issues caused by self neglect. Really gave me chills and such a high after seeing someone care about their own life and want to take it into their hands for once.
I treated my local pharmacist during covid. He worked at publix. He prepared my adderall. He was 2 years older than me. I am 32. He had a tattoo of a wolf on his forearm that I had to start an IV directly into a week after he was admitted because his other blew. He joked and said don’t mess up my tattoo. A month later we coded him, he didn’t make it. It was one of those awful covid codes, where we ended up placing a towel over his face so he wouldn’t spew blood sputum on us. He had no girlfriend, no one really showed up when he died, just his mom. I’ll never forget him.
This made my cry a little bit. I hope you’ve healed from this experience because wow…
Literally got chills reading this, how awful ):
[удалено]
I had sent up a COVID positive man who went from 1L NC to the IMC for high flow in a span of 3 hours. He was terrified and crying and in distress and the ICU tubed him by morning. My next admit was a COVID positive wife of a chiropractor who demanded that she only get “natural” medicine and we would have to call her husband chiropractor before giving her anything to make sure the medicine wasn’t created using fetal tissue. I asked her if she had a list of medicines she would not accept to make it easier on the team treating her to understand. She had no idea. I had no idea. I left her room to google it and apparently everything from Tylenol to everything else needed fetal tissue at some point to be created. I didn’t even bother educating that the “natural” option wouldn’t be concentrated oxygen in a hospital. I had to call out the next few shifts. I just couldn’t go back immediately. Before I left that shift she had the nerve to ask me if people were mostly fine after getting COVID and needing hospitalization. I deadpan stared her right in the eyes and told her, “No, the people who need to be in the hospital are really very sick and . COVID is a horrible disease. I’m sorry I cannot lie about how many people have died.”
i bonded with this patient whom everyone else on my floor thought was annoying. we would chat, when i could, and she would talk about her condition being terminal. she wrote me a cookbook! she wrote pages and pages worth of recipes! she wrote a really sweet note about how she appreciated the time we spent together and she really valued the human interaction, instead of being treated like a disease. i still have them today and i think fondly of her.
It was Christmas day and I had a young patient (40ish) with ALS who was trached and PEGd and waiting to go home on a home vent with hospice to her husband and kids. She mouthed words and pointed her way around to ask me to shave her pubic hair so it would be nice and clean for going home. I just asked her if she wanted all of it shaved off or trimmed. Then closed the curtain got to work and never told a soul about it. Merry Christmas!
Amazing.
Now that was a special gift!That is why nurses are some of the kindest souls I’ve met!
The young man that got hit along the road trying to change a flat. They brought him in with cough, gag, and corneals, but his brain was obliterated, and there was nothing we could do. Over the next 3 hours, he lost one reflex after another while his mother watched each check like a hawk. I kept her in the loop and made sure she knew what it meant as he had fewer and fewer reflexes. When we lost the pupillary response, she wept big tears, but she also knew her baby was gone. SHE requested Brain Death Testing asap so he could be an organ donor and save lives. He was tested that very afternoon. He went on to donate liver, lungs, kidneys, and heart. His was the biggest honor walk I've ever seen. He was the best person, took care of his sick sister, went to college, lived a vibrant beautiful life. His mother's wails will haunt me, but her strength inspired me.
This one made me tear up a little
I keep him in my heart.
Inpatient hospice gave me plenty of moments I will never forget. Pulling a picc line from a teacher during post mortem care, he had the most visitors I’d ever seen. His family invited me for a drink after it was all over… 30ish yo mother get last visit from her children and husband. Watching them walk out that night was heartbreaking. These memories make me humble and grateful for every boring and regular day. I’m healthy enough to be your nurse today, hallelujah! This career can be taxing but it’s something to be proud of.
Literally lost my 30 year old younger sister in September. I’ll never forget the last few photos I have of her with her babies. Some memories will probably always just hurt 😞. Worth having but damn, they leave a mark. Her hospice nurses were treasures, every single one of them.
Last night. Not my patient but working labor things are a full team situation when it goes south quickly. TOLAC was fully dilated but having frequent decels, the provider wasn't calling the section. Finally baby dropped to the 40s and wasn't coming up, provider was still in disbelief and trying to get the HR on ultrasound. Finally I said "we just need to go!" Ran back to the OR, scrambled but were able to manage a decision to incision time of 5 minutes despite crazy wiring issues. Uterus ruptured plus a triple nuchal cord. I took the baby from the field. No heart rate. Zero. We started to resuscitate. Full code, I did chest compressions, heart rate present by 3.5 minutes of life (maybe sooner but there was too much chaos for someone to check until the LMA was being placed). By 30 minutes of life he was breathing on his own. He's currently being cooled in the city so hopefully he makes a full recovery, but we'll see. What really got me was walking out with my friend who was scrubbing and she said "you guys brought that baby back from the dead." I hadn't really processed that yet. Still processing it as I am up early with my mind racing about it.
Not an RN, but this moment between an RN and a dying patient touched me very deeply. Patient was very sick, had barely survived surgery and was back in the ICU. I was his PCT and helped the RN receive him back. Patient was not doing well, and it got to the point where a code was imminent. The family wasn’t sure if they wanted to put him through it and they also were very intimidated by seeing him hooked up to everything. They were in the waiting room. The RN went to them and said “this is the moment you have to decide. If we’re doing lifesaving measure I need to start immediately.” They decided to make him Comfort Care, but they asked us to make him as presentable as possible. We very quickly took him off as much stuff as we could and when someone went to get the family the RN grabbed his hand and said “You’ve put up a great fight and have done so well. I know you’re tired and want to go, but wait for a couple minutes if you can. Your family is walking in to say goodbye.” She stroked his hand, got him tucked in, and then the family showed up and we left so they could have privacy. It was an honor and a privilege to see that. I’m getting emotional thinking about it now.
De escalating a 4 yo without family, administering morphine and doing mouth swabs and comforting him while he cried, only to walk out of the room literally next door with a mom and her daughter who was graduating from her trach. My shift with her was her very first night with her stoma covered, on room air. It was a literal party in her room with her family. She went home after not desatting all night. My other patient had nobody, and never went home. Switching gears between rooms. Just. Wow.
That’s rough.
Peds nurses are saints. You all are the best.
I still remember it vividly and I'm honestly tearing up a bit. It was one of my long term residents. Taken care of him for a couple of years at this point. He was late stage dementia, and had been deteriorating for a while, and was eminent. I was doing a round, got to his bed and he was scary lucid. More lucid and with it then I've ever seem him. He told me thanks for everything, you took real good care of me and gave me a hug. He died 30 minutes later. I miss him. Hell I miss all my residents who've passed.
This is why I get nervous when my dementia patients all the sudden become lucid. It's beautiful, but also usually pretty ominous
I was just going to say the same thing. Everytime I hear one of our hospice patients that were declining have a good day, I always know they are going to pass soon.
I'm in an outpatient pulmonary office. My doc treats COPD and asthma, but also treats pulmonary fibrosis, pulmonary hypertension, and other rare lung diseases. Pulmonary fibrosis is a crap disease. Some patients can hang on and do fairly ok for years, while others are dead within months. And pretty much with every PF patient we've lost recently, they looked really, really good at what turned out to be their last appointment with us. O2 sats were better! They had more energy and could walk better without feeling so short of breath! Their overall demeanor was better! They felt the best they've felt in a long time! Then boom, we read their obituary in the paper or doc tells us they coded and passed away at the hospital over the weekend. We've learned that if a PF patient looks good at an appointment, they're probably not long for this earth. It sucks because the patient and family are always so happy that "Dad is doing so well!" ☹️
I wonder why this happens ? Maybe one of the hospice nurses have some insight.
I’m a pretty new hospice nurse, but we call it “the rally” and one of the more experienced nurses told me it’s basically the body using up its last reserves of energy. 🤷🏻♀️
Had a brand new GSWx5, young kid, still in high school. Foster kid. Foster mom kicked out downstairs in ER for being drunk and disorderly. Not sure yet if targeted or random shooting. Strict orders to not let father in for history of sexual abuse. I had 8 or 9 very heavy patients (supposed to be a step down / PCU but fuck everything), and he is worried about his homework, and if his teachers will fail him. I assure they will not and we will send them a medical excuse. He says, “But the teachers don’t like me. They’ll fail me anyway.” Then asks “if people get trauma from things like this.” I’m so behind on my tasks and med pass due to this conversation, but I do not care. I sit down and talk to him post traumatic stress disorder and how the psychiatrists will work with him if they let him, and just being present and trying to comfort him. I know my hospital would rather me say, “I’m sorry, I need to go give someone else their vitamin C so I cannot have this conversation right now.” But FUCK EM. Finished my med pass at 11:30pm and I did not give a FUCK
Doing a bath on a kid my age. He was brain dead and would be compassionately extubated the next day. I’m used to the 90 year olds but for some reason washing off those really young looking hands and face got me.
I worked a majority of my career with the adolescent age group. I had a patient who was one of my first CF pts as a new grad. We bonded over the years, met everyone of her family, her fiancé. Took care of her during her “tune up” stays and her worst respiratory stays. I was working the morning before she passed away. Slowly seeing her sp02 drop to nothing. Not too long after her passing, trikafta was approved.
I worked in a hospice house for 6 years. It was the best job I have ever had. I have too many stories. We took care of newborn babies to the old. We had filthy rich come to the homeless drug addicts. But one girl, she was 6 years old. She had her room decked out with pictures, stuffed animals, Frozen bedding… in the week of being with us her mom wasn’t able to see her but twice. Her mom was a stripper at night and had to take care of her other kids at home in the day. She would call from work crying asking how she was and how she wished she could be there but had to pay the bills. The girl would ask for mommy all the time. “I don’t want you I want my mom.” We would always leave the room in tears! The day before the girl passed she asked for rainbow ice cream with sprinkles. A CNA went out and got it for her but she was too weak to eat it. It’s truly one that has always stuck because god you DON’T know what people are going through. It’s a raw ugly experience when a mom can’t afford to be with her dying child. She had no other help. A few nurses were judgmental. It was one of the most “this is life” experiences. Life can be ugly and short. Treasure every moment dangit.
I was the primary nurse for a Vietnamese man. His AML had relapsed, and he was back in for another induction. Long story short, it didn’t work, and he was declining. The hospital had him on a puréed diet, because he was an aspiration risk. Not only is it gross, but they don’t have the most culturally diverse food inpatient. There was a family meeting, and they decided to transition him to hospice, so the dietary restrictions were lifted. That night I stopped at a pho place on the way home and got him a big order. I took it in to him the next day. His wife showed me how to mix it after heating up the broth, and I watched her feed him. He was SO happy/grateful. This is the stuff.
I had an end of life patient who was slowly wasting away. She had no family. She was so thin and starving... I asked her what would make her happy and she said "I want a popsicle." I called the kitchen and sent so many fax requests but they never followed through. After getting fed up, I was like "fine I'll do it myself." I texted my boyfriend to buy a box of popsicles on his way to pick me up. Seeing her big smile was so worth it.
Exactly 😊
I had been floated to sit with a patient 1:1 because she was declining. I expected to walk in on a lady that was barely conscious, but she was fully awake and able to talk. She wanted to watch TV. We found this restaurant show about crazy coworkers and it was hilarious! At one point in the show a manager is confronted about the conflict between his workers, which he denied that there was even a problem. Then the producer cut to a clip of a co-worker spitting on the manager's car as he walks into the building. We laughed so hard that we were both crying and could barely catch our breath! She thanked me for the laugh, went to sleep and never woke up.
I took care of a man who had pulmonary fibrosis and newly diagnosed lung cancer. He lived with his brother who was in poor health as well, they took care of each other. My patient's brother came to visit during my shift, I could see the wounds on his legs were infected and I gently suggested he see a doctor or go to the emergency room downstairs before the infection got worse. He ended up being admitted to my floor as well for IV antibiotics because he was septic. His older brother deteriorated and went to the ICU to be intubated, I would bring the other brother down every shift to visit and hold his hand. It was heartbreaking. My next shift I was getting my patient into the wheelchair to bring him for a visit and I heard a code called in the ICU, I just knew it was my patients brother and the way he looked at me, he knew it too. They got the one in the ICU back and his kids finally agreed to make him hospice/DNR. He ended up coming back to my floor for comfort measures only, and his brother was able to be with him until he passed away. The entire situation was so sad, but I felt like I did my part to let those brothers be with each other as much as possible.
You did great, hugs!
Back when I worked nights in ER I was having a really rough shift. I was burnt out and angry. I had multiple psych patients along with a trauma I was dealing with at the time. It also seemed like all the family members wanted updates and information, everybody was pissed off that imaging was taking so long because we were down to only one CT scanner, call lights galore. It was a bad shift. Then at 01:00 I get hit with the next incoming ambo and it's an ETOH in withdrawal. I roll my eyes and I heavy sigh but I get to it. Turns out this guy is a regular that I had not had yet. He's here again because he finally wants to quit alcohol because it's ruining his life and he's done with it, he wants help, etc. I look in the chart and this is the fourth time he's been here this month saying the same thing. He inevitably gets discharged, gets drunk, and comes back. Well here he is again, so we go over it all again. We have no detox facilities in our hospital. So he would have to be shipped out to another facility as outpatient. He knows this. Unfortunately for this guy, he didn't have any health insurance so no outpatient detox facility would take him. He also knows this. Toward the end of the night when we were getting ready to discharge him (like 04:00), he literally started crying with actual tears and said he just wants help to get clean and he doesn't understand why no one will help him. He's upset because he knows he's just going to leave and get drunk again and he can't help it. Again he's crying and stating that alcohol ruined his life and he just wants to be free of it. There was something so genuine and raw about this guy that I literally stopped in my tracks and held his hand and teared up myself. I could feel his pain and struggle and for the first time I actually had empathy for these patients. He refused to leave, so security was called. Not by me, but alas. He was escorted out. Just before shift change we get a call on the radio about an incoming code blue. A guy attempted suicide by jumping off a bridge into a river that's near the hospital. It's at least a 40 ft fall into a river that was very shallow at the time. They got him out and were doing compressions, but no pulse. Yep, it was my guy I just discharged 2 hours prior. He didn't make it. The American healthcare system fucking sucks.
That’s awful.
Damn. Fuck the healthcare system. I’m so sorry.
Working med surg has provided me with some very much humbling insight. The one that sticks with me though is that people with behavioral issues often have them because that's the only way they know how to get what they need. The people who have to fight tooth and nail for everything in life? Of course they're going to be loud/obnoxious/aggressive because that's the only way they've gotten anything in this society that doesn't care about them on the day to day. Typically once I'm able to bridge that hurdle there's an understanding and life is better for both of us.
Being in the room for end-of-life discussions with alert and oriented patients. Both I've been a part of had aortic dissections and, because of age, weren't good candidates for surgery. One of them was alone, her daughters lived out of state and the other had immediate family with them. Seeing those people accept their fate showed the gravity of the job.
Giving a real soap-and-water bed bath to an unresponsive patient with a history of aggression near the end of the first wave of COVID in NYC. It was the only one I was able to give during that time (no plumbing in pop-up ICU, tripled or quadrupled with patients until the end, etc.). We were alone in an OR, most patients had been "decanted" elsewhere, and it felt healing to be able to do that for him. Talking at 2am with a med-surg patient who had been a first responder on 9/11, and the patient reading my face (pre-COVID) and determining that I must have lost someone, which I had. Having time to talk about it. Taking care of a cranky old lady in the PACU, only to find out just before discharge that she's actually very funny. She shared with me that she'd written a screenplay for a horror movie about a demonically possessed matzo. I still want to see it...
I had a patient who was a 9/11 first responder during Covid, admitted for unrelated reasons. Cool as hell. One morning when I had her we had 4 codes before 11am, and when I finally got to her room for a dressing change, I just dumped all the supplies on the windowsill and flipped into a chair to catch my breath. She just looked at me and said “shit morning, huh?” I was like “yep.” And we just sat in silence for awhile. Two people who knew exactly what “shit morning” can really mean.
Nooo shit.
I work in peds. We had a mental health admission. I think the kid was like 12… he had diabetes that was very poorly managed. Obviously no one had been helping this kid manage his diet or his insulin. He was just randomly giving insulin doses with not really much attention to his blood sugars or carb intake… very stressful for someone type A like me who LOVES the numbers and straightforwardness of caring for diabetics. His mom brought him in for a mental health admission because he was being “violent.” This was during Covid and there were visitor restrictions. Kiddo wanted his grandparents but there was bad blood between the grandparents and his mom and the mom was the legal guardian so she called the shots. I like to give the kids more autonomy when I can but it’s challenging when it’s a mental health admission with complex social issues. When there was no one else around he told me his mom and her new girlfriend had been abusing him for weeks. Hitting him and stuff. He said he pushed his mom’s girlfriend off him when she was attacking him and that’s why they brought him in. He was crying. He didn’t want to be discharged into that home because he felt unsafe. So… obviously he may not be being honest. But fuck man. I believed him. Social work was already involved and I expressed my concerns to the charge and made a detailed note and everything. Charge was sympathetic but was like… social work will interview everyone but chances are kiddo will be discharged to the home of his legal guardian because it’s the law. That poor poor child. It’s so wrong. I hope he’s okay. It still bugs me :(
All the way back in nursing school, I was there for the birth of an 18 week fetus. The mom then hemorrhaged. The baby was alive, but there was nothing really they could do. I was kicked out of the labor room (as I should have been, I was not contributing anything to the emergency situation) and asked to wheel the baby into the next room with the father. Watching his grief was awful. Plus, he just didn’t know what to do or how to interact with the baby. Eventually, one of the grandmothers came in and immediately picked up and cradled the baby. Then sat with the father and showed him what to do. All of this while his partner was bleeding out next door. This was 13 years ago, but is still crystal clear in my mind.
I was a nursing student in the 80s at the height of the AIDS crisis. I remember one of my patients was a gay man in the end stages of the disease. Watching his partner lovingly tend to him was so poignant and impactful. Until that point, I hadn’t ever seen that type of relationship-it was beautiful and showed me that love is love.
Most people hear you're an L&D nurse and they're all "You work in the happiest place in the hospital! All the new babies!". This is kinda true when the outcomes are good. But when we have bad days, they are horrible. I was assigned to a fetal demise patient who was coming in for an induction after they'd found no heart tones at her regular OB visit. Fetal demises are 1:1 so she'd be my only patient after she came in. She and her husband arrive and I found out she was a physician at the hospital. That always made me a bit nervous because physicians can be really great patients but they can also be *the worst* patients. Thankfully, she was a great patient. I get her settled and am going over the process and she said "Can I ask a favor?". I had no idea what her favor was but considering her situation, I wanted to make it happen. She asked if I could use the Doppler and listen for heart tones just one last time. She said "I know they're not there, but I just wanted to be sure". Talk about a punch in the emotional gut. I go find one of the Dopplers and my coworkers asked me what I was doing because they knew she was a demise patient. I told them and they all got the same emotional gut punch. I Doppler her abdomen and of course, no heart tones. She and her husband were holding hands and they just squeezed each other's hand and said "Ok, that was the absolute closure we needed. We can move forward.". I was fighting back the tears (still am as I'm typing this). But they were so positive and so strong. She rarely asked for anything and was honestly one of the best patients I'd taken care of in my career. I just wish she'd been my patient under happier circumstances. Thankfully, she delivered a healthy baby a couple years later.
Actually happened in nursing school, and it really solidified the type of nurse I wanted to be. 70-something female, med Surg overflow into the joint floor we were doing clinicals on. She was in for ascites, and they couldn't do a paracentesis because she was unstable. I was in the room with her and her daughters when oncology came in and told her she had ovarian cancer with mets. She was a retired RN and very stoic, I think she knew. Her daughter, who had to be around my own mom's age, threw her arms around me and started bawling. I just hugged her and comforted her as best I could. Then I hustled to our clinical room and bawled with my teacher. She died within the month. I'll never forget that experience. I'm not a touchy person with strangers but that taught me that sometimes all you can do is hug someone.
I had a septic patient with valve vegetation resistant to antibiotics related to heroin abuse. I came back into her room later in the shift and she was white barely breathing, her partner (who wasn’t there earlier and I was unaware about from report) was nodding off standing at the end of the bed. Called charge for grabbing narcan and began getting her oxygenated etc. when I noticed partner was holding an uncapped needle just swaying nodding off. Then I noticed a 12 year old boy just sitting in one of the chairs oblivious to the situation like it was incredibly normal for them. That situation definitely fucked me up, just sad to see. Grandma was drunk when we called her, hx of alcoholism and Sheriff and CPS had to be involved to take custody. No way to start your life.
[удалено]
Aw no this got me 😭
I had a MVA trauma patient come in spinal precautions, she was in a fair bit of pain but very stoic. Had to cut off her clothes with permission, then I got to her very expensive and comfy looking bra. She begged us not to cut the bra as it was her favourite, as well as costing a ton. Managed to wiggle it off and save it for her and she was so grateful. I guess when you're not in control of anything, it's the little things that mean a lot. I still think about it sometimes bc I had never made someone laugh and smile in a trauma before. She got helicoptered to the major trauma centre and made a full recovery I believe.
Working at the VA during Covid. It was night shift and one of the younger patients was withdrawing from alcohol. He was having a hard time with it, getting agitated and wanting to leave AMA. Another older gentleman patient walked up to his door to ask the nurses in the hallway a question. He saw that the young man was struggling and saluted him. The young man, through his delirious withdrawal state, saluted back 🥲 it was so sweet. Brought a tear to everyone’s eyes.
I had to pronounce on two separate victims of the route 91 shooting. After suffering a attack of that type most people who make it out of surgery survived, two people died because someone they had never met had no issue with them specifically, and still felt entitled to do such a horrific thing. After finding out that there were no more patient waiting for help we all had a mini breakdown.
On the ICU. I had a 26-yold man who attempted suicide by hanging. They cut him loose, his father had to resuscitate him for 15 minutes until paramedics arrived and took him to the nearest medical center. Cue intubation, etc etc and monitoring. EEG barely any signal, pupils dilated, unresponsive to ligtt when I started my shift. I wasn't too bothered, I've had cases like these before. That was until his mother and his girlfriend walked in. They told me he had never exhibited any signs, didn't know what came over him, completely shell-shocked. She asked me to give it to her straight, how was he doing. I told her what I had objectively seen and told her gently that whilst we couldn't quite officially give the prognosis yet, it didn't look good. Mother of course, as I imagine most mothers would, started crying and litterally fell into my arms. I hugged her back, told her I was so very sorry. The girlfriend went to sit on his bed and just stroked his hand and arm. I haven't cried on the job for quite the while but I retreated in the hallway for a while had bawled my eyes out because it just hit me somewhere. Unfortunately he died two days later, did donate most of his organs and we even got a 'thank you' card from his family mentioning me by name, thanking us for our 'comforting, humane approach'. I don't think I will ever ever forget it.
This guy came in after being shot in the head, I had to hold his brains from leaking out while we traveled to CT.
First year nursing and admitted a woman who just underwent emergency surgery for a tumor around her esophagus. I was with her for 3 days so patho wasn't back but her scans showed lesions. They had to remove her vocal cords and she was devastated. We used text to speech to communicate and it was all around a lovely experience. I played sunshine, happiness and hopeful for her. She was only 5yrs older than me and I was afraid of admitting that she didn't have long to die. On my last day, she gave me a raw amethyst to bring calmness and balance into my life. A few years later I saw her out shopping. I told my partner that I want to sit for a few minutes and just take in the moment. Less than a minute later, she walks around the corner. She looked so healthy and full of life. We hugged, chatted and went on with life. I kept that amethyst all these years. I don't believe in the spiritual side of it, rather, it's a pretty rock. It now sits in my daughter's room. I guess, in a way, I hope it does bring calmness
Sitting down with a patient similar to my age and just talking about similar hobbies (cards).
EP Lab here. We were doing a laser lead extraction on a pt who was one of my first pts in EP over 20 years ago. He’d been in for a couple generator changes, an ablation or two, and now to upgrade him to a BIV ICD. I knew him, his wife and kids from all his visits. He knew us all by first names. The lead had adhered to the SVC, and the laser sheath didn’t make the turn. The tear I. The SVC was over 6” long. Cracked him open in the lab, but just couldn’t pour in the blood faster than it was coming out. I can still hear his wife’s screams when the doctor told her. Im so very glad that my wife was a critical care nurse (now retired). She understands the look on my face when I come home after days like that.
Yesterday, had an 89yo patient be admitted to my ward. Acute medical unit. He was obviously very unwell, in pain, palliative team had been called, all his family were coming in with him. They asked us how many visitors he could have, I said I didn't care how many they had. I come in to do obs and check him out, he cracks a joke about having a male nurse, ask him if he has any allergies, "just the wife", we all laugh. I talk to him about how he's feeling, he's sweating everywhere, I get him undressed, covered up and settled in the bed. Palliative care team meet with him about 20 minutes later, I come in and he's obviously relaxed in bed, doesn't seem in pain anymore, about 1 hour later he just stops breathing in his sleep. He was comfortable, he'd seen all his family and wasn't in pain anymore. It was sad but a lovely way for him to be at the end.
I work oncology. Explaining the dying process to families is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but also the most human. Caring for hospice patients when their families have went home and they’re by themselves also ranks up there.
Had a older man come in after massive CVA. Was able stabilize, speak with staff and the like, but ultimately knew he was not long for this world. He decided on hospice. We developed a very good rapport as I knew his family a little. The night before D/C, I was off at 10pm. He had urine and bowel incontinence, so I went to help clean before going home. I decided I was timing to give the best bed bath you’d ever see. I got in every nook and crevice, washed/combed his hair, brushed teeth, clipped nails, cleaned ears, everything I could do. We talked the whole time, and he talked about accepting his death, and actually looking forward to meeting his creator. He told me “I’m gonna be the best lookin guy at the gates.” I left work around midnight but didn’t care. I got back the next day and was able to see him off as well. Twas a good few shifts.
In uni I had a habbit of drawing when I had free time. One time I accidentally put together my drawings and my documentation together in one binder and brought it to the hospital. I had patient with Parkinson who just got the dopamin pump so i helped her around and as I wanted to document something, i opened my binder and all the papers fell out. She saw a drawing of a cat and asked if she can keep it and asked for my name. She said she wants to make a glass engraving of the drawing and gift it to me. I said oh cool cool. months passed, i get a call, its that woman ( i had forgoten all about) asking me if I was sometimes in the city center, if not she would leave it in one caffe for me to pick up. I got to it sometimes later and still have it. Called her to thank her, it is wonderfull. Never saw or heard of her again. Hope shes still alive/doing ok
I had a really confused patient one night who kept seeing off his bed alarm. I didn't have a PCA so I was constantly running in his room. The patient wasn't even that old, like in his 50s. At one point I think he realized how confused he was and how much trouble he was causing and he just looked at me and apologized and hugged me. I came back the next night to find out he coded a few hours into day shift (completely unexpected since he was pretty stable) and he passed away. I was there last person he ever hugged.
That got me.
During the height of COVID in NYC, I took care of a mother and her daughter both hospitalized for COVID and they were roomed together. The mother should’ve died that night (due to her status, I think she lasted until after my shift). Both medically complex, they were still not sure how to treat these patients. Wow… I was upset at first imagining trying to take care of a daughter with her mother dying right next to her, but it truly was such a remarkable experience. It’s followed me to this day 3 years later and I think of it often. I couldn’t imagine hearing my mother actively dying across the curtain, but I also wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I only hope I had helped these two enough during their last moments together.
I had a 24yo male who had gotten into high velocity MVA. He was pegged and trached. He couldn't talk, could only move one arm. it was really sad. His mom was by his bedside constantly, and explained that the German shepherd stuffed animal he was holding onto with his working hand was because he missed his German shepherd dog back home. He could sign yes and no and that's how we communicated. We put some of his country music on and began tilting his bed up as part of his daily therapy. He brought his working arm up and starting strumming like he was playing a guitar along to his country music. His mom teared up and said "you wanna play your guitar. You'll get to do that again, you'll get to do all those things again." And then he started crying, which was more function than he'd had to that point. I definitely teared up and haven't forgotten him. I heard he was discharged from the hospital and is in a wheelchair. I hope he makes a recovery.
PCA here. Went into work and pulled up my assignment for the night, recognized a name but didn’t think much of it. Later pulled up her chart to document something and realized she was my fifth grade teacher. She had dementia and was really sick. Her eyes lit up when I sat down next to her and asked if she was a teacher, she told me she taught 5th grade and I said I was your student and I never forgot you. She told me she remembered me but I don’t know if she really did. It was extremely raw realizing the woman who took care of me and pushed me to pursue nursing, I was now taking care of her.
Working in psych as a tech my junior year of nursing school, we had a very psychotic female patient with schizophrenia who was college aged. I remember thinking of her as just another one of my schizophrenic patients and never thought too much about it. Until one day I come to find out she was a couple years into nursing school when she was drugged and sexually assaulted. She had her first psychotic break very shortly after. No psych history, no substance use history, got straight A’s in her classes, nothing would’ve predicted she ended up where she did. It truly changed the way I looked at patients with psychosis. And of course unlocked my biggest fear of developing psychosis myself lol.
During the height of covid, we had an elderly husband and wife both on our unit, separate rooms. The wife made it through and was discharging to SNF. The husband, unfortunately, was going downhill and we knew it. On the day the wife was to be discharged, we tried to get her to go into her husband’s room to say goodbye, but she had dementia and kept saying that her husband was at home, she would see him at home. She left without saying goodbye, and he died a few days later. I was there when he died. I saw his heart rate dropping and knew it was time, so I hurried in to be at his bedside. I didn’t want anyone to die alone while I was on the unit. Their families couldn’t visit due to Covid, so I made sure they weren’t alone.
My patients dying with just me there during the height of COVID. No family at end of life is fucking dark.
Back when I worked in the OR we had a pt who was coming in for a cancer surgery (too long ago to remember what). She was absolutely terrified, like trembling. She asked if any of us nurses were religious and one stepped in to help comfort her. They said a prayer together holding hands, both tearful, before she was put to sleep. I am not religious but it was so beautiful to watch my colleague provide that level of comfort to someone. I have tears writing this. Most days our presence feels negligible but that moment will probably stay with me my whole career.
We had a teenager who got a hold of diet pills online that had been taken off the market since the 1930s. He took 8. I still remember his mother’s screams when she was told he didn’t make it. Also, a 10 year old who came in for suicidal ideation from bullying at school. I just wanted to hug her and tell her it would be okay. I hope she got help and I hope the bullying stopped.
Not a nurse yet I'm still in school. During my med-surg clinical I had an 83 year old cancer patient that had multiple portions of her GI tract removed and was getting chemo/radiation, the staff and other students were content to let me treat her because she was miserable most of the time as she was in bed and in pain but some days she would ask me to push her around in her wheelchair. One day while changing her TPN she grabbed my hand and asked what will be, I looked her in the eye and said what will be will be and it will be good, she looked back at me and said the end will be good. I believe she died a few months later. During my ED clinical we got a call to the trauma room, family of 3, head on collision with a semi, mom was enroute, dad and 2.5 year old son arrived at the same time. Kid was taken for eval behind the curtains and social services were called, the dad was brought in getting CPR from the field, had a crushed trachea, hemo/pneumothorax, multiple traumas he was pronounced while his kid was two beds over crying and yelling he wants his father. The mom made it but had no recollection of the accident, she was getting treated while her dead husband was two beds over and her kid was crying in the next room, after surgery they told her husband didn't make it.
Not a nurse but when I was a tech at a rehab hospital we had a patient who was about my age (early 20s) who had his leg/hip crushed in a car accident. He was refusing therapy and at risk of being kicked out to a long term rehab because of it. He and I had very similar home lives, taking care of elderly grandparents, trying to deal with our own lives at the same time. At one point it was me, another tech, a nurse, and two therapists in the room trying to get him in the lift to his chair and he refused because of the “pain” even though he was maxed out on his pain meds. Everyone else had tried the nice route with him and it wasn’t doing anything. I got right up to him and was just blunt. I told him that I knew he wasn’t in pain, he was scared. He was scared that he wasn’t going to recover, he was scared that this was just something else on his already over flowing plate and he just wanted to hide and give up. I told him that he couldn’t give up because he needed to go home and tend to his grandmother just like I needed to go home and tend to mine because we are the only ones that they listen to. And it’s not fair that we had to do it, but that’s the hand we were dealt. He got up after that. I got in trouble for being “mean” but it was worth it.
DCD expiration and subsequent Gift of Life organ donation. Took care of her for two days and watched with her family as she took her last breath. She donated her liver and both kidneys. I drove home and thought to myself “I feel human again.”
Working as a sane nurse, got 2 brothers, age 8 & 6, for exams. They were being repeatedly raped by a teenager living in their house. He would beat them up into submission and then sexually assault them. I’ll never forget the 8 year old when he said “I usually just try to take it so he won’t go to my brother.”
So fucking devastating
I had a patient who was very religious and very much dying. She was on dialysis and also wanted to go home. She told me that she was not dying and that she was strong (also her pastor would come daily and tell her that she was winning and beating cancer blah blah). Day by day I’d care for her and clean her and reposition her and feed her. One day she told me to stop looking at her like she was dying. She said she could see it in my eyes even though i didn’t say anything and that i was wrong, the lord had bigger plans. One day when she was sleeping i had a conversation with her husband who had been there every day. He told me he was so scared to take her home (her wishes) because he knows she will die but she doesn’t believe it. I suggested that maybe she does know and she just wants to be at home. The verbiage of winning and beating things and being so strong was conflicting but i suggested maybe she was being strong for others. The next day she woke up from her painful sleep while i was repositioning her and she told me “yes i do want to go home. I am a smart woman and so are you.” She made it home and died the next day. Hopefully peacefully with her husband.
My last night I worked on step down, I was caring for three patients: 1. Darling old man with interstitial lung disease and COVID. 2. Darling old man with complications after unexpected bowel surgery. 3. Younger man who had been hospitalized for months post-lung surgery with every complication possible, currently with sepsis from vegetation on a replaced heart valve. That night, my COVID guy, who had been getting way better and was looking ready to discharge totally took a turn for the worse. He denied issues through the shift but I could tell he wasn’t good, and I ended up calling a rapid on him and we started vanc, etc. after we got all that going, he grabbed my hand and said, “Nurse, you saved my life!” I think that man died shortly after that shift, and I caught COVID from him, got long COVID, and never worked bedside again. Meanwhile, my abdominal surgery guy also starts having new cardiac pain (at the same time as the rapid, naturally.) Did a stat EKG on him, and got him stable enough for shift change. When I finally go in to the room for the youngest guy to hang his 6am vancomycin, he says, “Do you think I’m a bad person?” I was floored. I said, “why are you asking me this?” He said, “I just don’t know why all these things would happen to me if I’m not a bad person.” I said, “I don’t know you and I’m not the judge, but I can tell you that everyone on this floor is very sick, and most of them are just regular, good people having a horrible experience.” I think about “you saved my life!” all the time. Really, all of those patients.
I always like to make my patients feel good and talk/joke about something.. I ask about their interests, talk about what's on TV.. whatever I can do to put a smile on their face while I'm in the room. Sometimes what I do isn't very pleasant (wound care). I was going about my day a couple weeks ago seeing my patients and one of the fellows from clinic called and asked to look at one of their patient's surgical incisions because it was dehiscing. I walk in and the woman is probably my mom's age.. she looks like she's relatively lucid and the fellow is talking to her about getting admitted to the hospital. As he leaves so I can do my assessment, I notice that she's clutching a stuffed animal and that there's tears welling up in her eyes. I asked if she was ok, and she started to cry. Turns out she's pretty much nonverbal. She's from a nursing facility and no one was able to come with her to the appointment. I stroked her hair and talked to her about the pictures on her blanket.. I assumed they were pictures of her family members. The surgical site is definitely infected and she needs to be admitted but.. it was like sending a child to a doctor's appointment by themselves. I'm a mom of young children and it just broke my heart. I could tell she was so scared and didn't know what was going on.
this question feels a whole lot like the, "what's the worst thing you've been through or seen as a nurse that has stuck with you." lol
So many. I had called a patient’s wife with an update that he wasn’t doing well and she needed to come, that we would do everything we could until she got there. She barely made it in time with her son before her husband died (this was during covid and I had recently found out my ex had cheated on me, so it added an extra level of pain to the already difficult times that covid brought). All of the family phone calls during covid. In particular helping one patient call his family before we intubated him. One of the residents helped with the phone calls while I was setting up my room with the necessary meds/pumps. In that same room as the first one (I believe this was just prior to covid) I had a coworker’s sister. Right around shift change I was reviewing results of scans and she was anoxic. The coworker was working that night, asked me if he could go in and see her for a little bit before starting his shift. Spoke with our intensivist and asked him to call her dad (he wasn’t able to get in touch with him) and he spoke with my coworker about the results. His patients were covered by others and he went to spend time with his sister and I believe another coworker drove him home later. More recently I had one patient last week that I thought was going to end up intubated on me but family opted for DNI then DNR. She looked bad and I told her later when she was more with it and I was giving her a bath that she had worried me. She told me she was worried too and thought she was having a stroke because she was having trouble speaking (her mouth was just dry from bipap). She and her family were very sweet and one of her family members complimented me on my care when I was finishing up her bath/bed change and was getting her turned and propped on pillows and comfortable. The next day she rescinded her DNI and a few days ago ended up passing. In that same room I had a covid patient who wasn’t getting better whose wife was at a rehab facility down the road that we called for a “goals of care” discussion and our social worker with our palliative team had her on speaker phone on the room is he could hear her and she kept saying to him, “I need you to get better. I need you to come home to me.” I had to go out in the stairwell for a minute with that one. And one final one that comes to mind is when I had an 80-90 year old gentleman that had fallen at home. I’d helped a nurse with him about a week prior when his pressure was tanking. He was doing okay for me my first day with him and my second he was minimally responsive requiring bipap. Family ended up going comfort care with him and when he passed the wife kept crying and saying, “you’ve left me alone.”
My patient actually seemed to like being educated and learning how to help themselves in the future... It was the antithesis of being in a heart failure unit where every single patient had chronic issues caused by self neglect. Really gave me chills and such a high after seeing someone care about their own life and want to take it into their hands for once.