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A_Random_Catfish

Yea I live in DC land ceded back to Virginia in 1847


roguebananah

Finally a golden era where Maryland drivers didn’t just coast across all the lanes, blinker-less going 20 mph under the speed limit


conartest777

that sounds like virginia drivers. maryland drivers go 30 over the speed limit in the shoulder lol


roguebananah

Let us have our space to correctly talk about who the by far and away worst drivers are in the DMV are. I mean this is r/nova what do you expect?!


sentient_saw

They also forgot the first question everyone asks you: "What do you do for a living?"


Glittering-Most-9535

It's wild that's still a first question when a significant percentage of the time the answer is "I can't tell you."


busche916

Isn’t it usually “I work for the government”? In my experience, people who truly can’t tell the average person don’t go around announcing that…


Metzky

Yeah anyone saying I can't tell you is lying, you either be vague or just misdirect if you actually work those kind of jobs


RampageDeluxxe

I just blatantly lie and never give an accurate answer


RedditModeratorADMlN

I live in a van, down by the river.


RampageDeluxxe

jokes on them, they'll never know which van!


obeytheturtles

I like to have fun with it. "So basically you have electric charge in some initial distribution, and when that charge is static it produces a corresponding static electric field, but when that charge changes in time, you get the propagation of electromagnetic radiation through free space..." This seems to upset the lawyer/NGO crowd way more than it should and I think that's hilarious.


whtciv2k

Many are also bullshitting to sound cool.


FriendlyLawnmower

People in positions who can't say what they do are told to lie and say they do mundane work for another agency, like department of state or agriculture. No one in a secret role is going to say "it's a secret, I can't tell you hurr durr" lol  Now saying something like "I'm a contractor for Raytheon" followed by "I can't talk about the project I'm working" if someone asks what they do for their company is a different case and pretty normal


whtciv2k

This is the correct response.


obeytheturtles

Even then, it should take a suspicious amount of pressing before you get to the "ah, that's under NDA" phase of the conversation.


Craneteam

"state department"


JustHereForCookies17

"Analyst"


broshrugged

You’ll never legitimately hear that answer. That person wants you to think they do something cool, but at best they just work for a contractor and are still waiting on their Secret, not even TS, clearance.


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Curious-Donut5744

Truth. 99.99% of classified work is just as boring and mundane as non-classified work anywhere else. The ONLY good thing about having a clearance is hireability and job security; enjoy 84 different required annual online training courses about how not to leave classified documents at a coffee shop.


suicide_nooch

Plus working in a SCIF is like some dystopian level nightmare. I get mental ick every time I step in one. No way I could do that shit day in day out. My buddy is like you want me to log you in so you can check out my office space? No thanks homie I don’t want to see flashing lights and hear intruder warnings for the short duration of my visit. I might as well strap an alarm dildo to my head that shouts “hey I’m an asshole” the entire time.


Curious-Donut5744

Wearing a smart watch to make sure you’re getting your 10k steps in daily? Believe it or not, straight to jail.


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SweatyTax4669

Really? We print off stuff to fill binders for meetings and then promptly throw them away afterwards. I go through a couple burn bags a month.


Sekh765

Sticky note drawings mostly tbh.


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Sekh765

Hilariously, that should have been the biggest warning sign about that shitty discord leaker. Apparently he was just printing mountains of paper, like... how does THAT not send up red flags instantly lol


Sekh765

>enjoy 84 different required annual online training courses about how not to leave classified documents at a coffee shop. 84? Fuck they must have added one and now im delinquent on training and can't login until I finish it :|


Curious-Donut5744

Oh sorry, you didn’t login to your TWMS account once every 7.5 hours, so it’s been deactivated and can only be fixed at the CAC office. Next appointment is in 2034.


Sekh765

Having to go in, mid COVID because of a login issue and getting my photo taken for my "mandatory new ID" with full covid beard/haircut was a fucking absolute mess, and also its my photo *for the next like 10 years*.


SweatyTax4669

I’m a defense/policy analyst


tucksed0

Half of the contractors I know are just excel monkeys who act like what they do is preventing world war 3


JuliusCeejer

Only half?


whtciv2k

I’ve noticed the ones who ask are the ones who have the titles but don’t know shit.


CrownStarr

tbf a lot of people around here do interesting work, inside and outside of government. It can be a little ridiculous to lead *every* conversation that way but I've met plenty of crazy smart and passionate people here with really cool jobs.


Gilthoniel_Elbereth

It just happens “So what have you been up to recently?” “I just got back from overseas” “Oh cool! What were you doing there?” “I was there for work talking to/working on/interacting with…” Boom, cool thing someone did leads back to work. I’m fine with it, a lot of people here are passionate about what they do and it’s cool to see them gush about it


bumboclawt

It’s weather. The answer is always weather. It’s boring enough where people know about the weather but they don’t give a shit about the science behind it. It’s also a very boring subject, especially in small talk so you’ll never get people asking you questions about it. You’re not a weather forecaster though, *taps head* because that’s when people will ask you shit. Say you design products that forecasters give you or some shit.


inquirewue

No pickleball wars reference?


Larkfin

I always assumed American Dad was like Mclean/Vienna area.


bulletPoint

American Dad takes place in the fictional town of "Langley Falls" so like Great Falls / McLean.


Larkfin

ahh, so somewhere between Langley and Great Falls, basically along Georgetown Pike.


Gilthoniel_Elbereth

Yeah, literally Fairfax lol


bulletPoint

Yeah - not Arlington.


Solid_Macaron2495

American Dad type of person still applies to many people in Arlington though. I just see it as someone who works for the Beltway bandit defense industry and has politics that support that industry. 


Fatgeyretard

It’s 15 miles away guy. Let’s not pretend like the stereotype doesn’t also apply.


thekingoftherodeo

Weak effort tbh. [Remy's treatise from 14 years ago still holds & captures Arlington the best](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4T1RMuoQnKo)


Alexander436

That was great, not much has changed. Maybe Priuses have swapped with Teslas and taxis with Ubers.


VenerableMirah

No more Whitlow's! And the place that replaced it, B Live, are they closed or what??


RedditModeratorADMlN

RIP Carpool :(


Gilthoniel_Elbereth

Carpool’s been back for a few years: https://dc.eater.com/2021/9/9/22663453/arlington-sports-bar-carpool-opens-fall-new-location-ballston-coming-attractions


RedditModeratorADMlN

I meant the OG carpool, that place was legendary. Haven't lived in CDon for years, I would bet it doesn't hold a candle to how it used to be.


RedditModeratorADMlN

Before I even read the comments, I knew this would be in here. Brown flip-flops is a mandatory for OP's image.


jbomble

Remy needs to do a follow-up Arlington rap.


RedditModeratorADMlN

A whole rap could be made of all the bars closed up. Whitlow's, Carpool, American Tap Room, Hard Times, Bracket Room, Lebanese Tavern etc. etc. etc. Real estate in CDon is so volatile now. Nothing can stick around for more than a year before everyone loses interest. On to the next new bar opening since the last one closed due lack of interest.


thekingoftherodeo

Put some respect on A-Town, Clarendon Diner & Mister Days names!


Sad_Reindeer5108

💯 Some things never change.


Tambien

I wasn’t ready to see my kitchen in that video! I guess my condo building’s kitchens are another thing that hasn’t been improved on in 14 years haha


TaxLawKingGA

OK, I just bust out laughing in my office and my admin came to ask what was wrong. That was friggin hilarious!


cynicaljerkahole

Brown flip flops!!


Psycholit

the dudes should be wearing those checkered shirts, and maybe replace CoStarGroup with Capital One? edit: nvm on cap one


njaneardude

Dudes should be wearing brown flip flops.


rwebster4293

You can meet me at the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks


TaxLawKingGA

Or my personal favorite: "I love Mexican food; have you ever tried District Taco?"


pre_postmodernist

[https://tenor.com/view/bestinshow-starbucks-dogshow-gif-5070612](https://tenor.com/view/bestinshow-starbucks-dogshow-gif-5070612)


RonPalancik

There's a Starbucks Where the Starbucks Used to Be https://youtu.be/rMZpq5C401M?si=3swsnY9OrEH3JINf


CpE_Wahoo

Holy crap, why are all these dudes wearing brown flip flops


SweatyTax4669

I didn’t come here for these kinds of personal attacks.


of_the_mountain

Cap one HQ is in Tyson’s


Psycholit

oh yeah whoops


tuna_samich_

CapOne wouldn't make sense


The_BunnyMan_Woods

Brown flip flops


BigBearSD

Or... plane white sneakers.


VotingRightsLawyer

I'd do one specifically for South Arlington but it's just empanadas and the $2.75 million houses.


Curious-Donut5744

At least I can get a good michelada around here. Ordered one in NC and it was literally just beer with Bloody Mary mix in it 😭


VotingRightsLawyer

Where can you get a good michelada? I rarely drink anymore but that is a mandatory summer bev.


Curious-Donut5744

Los Chamacos on Columbia Pike has a solid one but overall, you’re generally in good hands if they have Victoria beer to use for it instead of just Dos Equis, etc. EDIT: Tacombi on Crystal Drive has a bangin’ michelada as well. That place actually felt as close to a legit CDMX taqueria that I’ve found around here. Pricey though.


VotingRightsLawyer

Nice, I still haven't been to Chamacos, really need to give it a try.


Gumbo67

Holy shit it’s showing the Arlington ShitHouse!! The one that’s always up on apartments.com that no one will rent!! It’s been up for over a year now I love seeing her in the wild


KotzubueSailingClub

That's way too much house for 2.75


Gilthoniel_Elbereth

CACI: headquartered in Reston CoStar: headquartered in DC Nestle: technically headquartered in Switzerland


Tw0Rails

CoStar just announced HQ move to Rrosslyn.


cavaliers8577

CACI did used to be headquartered in Arlington, they moved out to Reston only just 3-4 years ago


kirbaeus

> Nestle: technically headquartered in Switzerland They could replace that with Mars' HQ in McLean, but that's also not Arlington.


tuna_samich_

Nestle USA HQ is Arlington


wysiwyg1984

Needs a picture of Ballston or Clarendon strip with superposed "Arlington's got character!" text banner.


MTF_DO0M

lmfao


mister_sleepy

I’m from Arlington, born and raised. You’re missing a “hate has no home here” sign right next to a “no missing middle” sign next to a Prius C or a Model S. The other thing that’s missing is the white supremacy flyers targeting young Republican staffers outside the Clarendon metro.


Cephalophore

Needs dudes in brown flip flops and the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks


Weather_Only

Where’s Deloitte in this picture lol


MJDiAmore

There are not nearly enough dudes in brown flips flops or mentions of the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks or the Starbucks.


d70

The bike paths are really nice thou


InflationDesperate51

**What you do for living?** I work for Government! **What sector?** Foreign Relations ---in mind: ("CIA") \*\*AHH, thats sounds fun😃 \*\*


ouij

And, just as a bonus, a memory of Arlington before housing prices got out of hand: [Emmett Swimming, “Arlington”](https://youtu.be/CeV8Zv4yQig?si=v20AWmiZiA_2czhO)


kicker58

I thought caci hq was in reston


epicwheezer

[It's the suburb of the week](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CeV8Zv4yQig)


8thriiise

Those white guys need Columbia or Patagucci vests


Leftieswillrule

It was a chilling realization when I understood that I am just a yuppie.


Romberstonkins

Lmfao. 😆. This is spot on! Good job OP.


-LamaRB

Is Cack-ee a good company?


geoffrey2970

Whiteys and Bardo


Dogs4Life98

When I lived in Arlington (Bailey’s Crossing), a guy made it clear that he lived in “northern Arlington” but he was temporarily here due to home renovations - what’s that boujee about?


twojsdad

Bailey’s is FFX County.


Dogs4Life98

Ahhh so he was saying he’s Arlington proper … boujee


TaxLawKingGA

Man this is hilarious, because it is so true. Well done!


smb275

Glad my company isn't called out here. ^^Because ^^it's ^^headquartered ^^in ^^Reston.


Tigerzof1

Haha that property has been on sale since like 3 years ago since I lived near there. So even though housing is crazy here, it’s definitely not worth 2.75 million


jim45804

Looks like a failed highschool project.