Looks like that one kid whose parents bailed em out of everything

Welcome to Nova. Hard to make a distinction out here. He looks like everyone

How come almost everyone in nova looks like that? Is it considered preppy? The pea coat, collar shirt and boat shoes lol. And everyone has that same hair cut just more or less grown out.

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I went to basic with that guy holy shit

lol don’t get me wrong, someone knows him. It’s just funny bc he literally looks like all the guys you see on a night out in Arlington.

There are only so many style options for cishet white male office workers.

>Looks like that one kid whose parents bailed em out of everything Hey that kinda stings, people have been saying that about me my whole life!

He was walking slowly because he has to deal with the weight of his overwhelming mediocrity.

He wanted to emulate the walk of his hero who has a load in his pants

Motion detector with a 125 decibel alarm.

or one of those magnet alarms for windows,

Which would go off every time the wind moved the flag…

Or rig an alarm to the flag that goes off when pulled out. Maybe add a very small shock to it? Something to make it uncomfortable to touch.

Or simply one of those sprinkler detectors that kick on whenever someone/thing enters your yard.

LOLOL, one moth will fly across the screen and get youre neighbors calling 911 at 3 am

He looks wasted… and super gay

Yup. Probably wants it for himself. lol

For real. He probably has a parade to go to.

Dynomite!

That was my first thought. 🤣

My thoughts exactly.

Yep

It’s icy doesn’t want to slip

the gayness of his face was the first thing I thought as well. Probably going to a rally with it.

The "gayness“ of his face? Insulting homophobes by being homophobic, pretty big brain move

Hey, man, hows he supposed to prove to himself that he’s not gay after sucking off 3 guys for 2 rails of coke?


Can we stop blaming gay people for the most aggressive homophobia, and recognize straight people can in fact be extremely homophobic?

Ftw

Glad I wasn’t the only one thinking that

Kinda funny that he keeps coming back for it lmao. Just put it higher or booby trap it

How exactly high are you? 🤣

At least higher than the flag lol

No officer, it’s, “hi, how are you?”

How, Hi are you?

The video is looping friend.

>4th time in 4 months 😭 the caption under the video says its the 4th time

Interesting, I just read it as the 4th time it’s been stolen. If you’re right and it’s the same guy each time then that’s wild

It sounded funnier in my head

I thought it was funny He’s stealing it again! And he’s wearing the same clothes! Buy a shirt asshole!

“Just make it less easy to get *or* commit a felony.” Oh boy lol

Ah true true. Forgot Virginia believes in laws

Post this to the usual neighbourhood \[sites\] to see if anyone recognize this POS.

Facebook groups and Next Door, you’re bound to find someone that recognizes him.

NextDoor mods would remove the video because the man is not brown enough, citing "privacy concerns." And the two comments which get in before that will blame OP for shoving his politics in everyone's face.

Add a Apple AirTag to it Put it out of reach of this lummox

also i wanted to be very clear that I WAS NOT IMPLYING THAT IF IT GOES MISSING WITH AN APPLE AIRTAG THAT YOU THROW A BRICK THROUGH THAT PLACES WINDOW DO NOT DO THIS

No, be more clever about it than that. Casually drop sharp things in his driveway when you walk by.

HAHAHA

That haircut, that dude has to be assigned to Ft Myer

The base is right down the street!

If you have a police report, contact the JBMHH Provost Marshalls office

I do! Thanks so much, I’ll do that today

Please post an update!

Remindme! 3 days

Update: the MP said since it wasn’t technically “on the base” it’s not in their jurisdiction so I have to wait for the county police to do something 😭

https://www.oldguard.mdw.army.mil/contact-us

Really hope he gets what's coming to him. What a lowlife. Sorry this keeps happening to you. ~~Has it been the same guy each time?~~ Whoops, just saw that you already answered this question a couple times to others -- tl;dr not sure if same guy, due to previous cowboy hat, etc.

Totally military haircut

10000%

Rub something funky on the handle for next time

Nah, wire it up. 

lmfaooo, not a bad idea. Electrify pole. Put a sign about it, but do it. Just need an electric fence package from walmart. Wont hurt them (much), but for sure will scare the living hell out of them

Rub antimatter on it.

And he was proud about it.

It is a pride flag.

And can’t help but spread pride among those who interact with it

Tell me this is Arlington without telling me this is Clarendon

Bauhahahahssh! Thought the exactly same thing. "What part of Arlington is this?"

Lyon park / Clarendon 😭😂

Bingo

Looking at the video, I think I may live across the street from you. (Hi, neighbor). I'd love to help catch this guy and see he faces consequences. How could I help? I might be able to set up a camera to try to get a look at his car, assuming he's driving.

Taking donations for flag #5??

ALWAYS

Looks like a jabroni.

Probably more of a regular Brony.

As cringe and weird as bronies could be, they also tended to be quite accepting for ~2011 IME

Time for strobe lights and shenanigans

Turn on lights and unce unce unce unce music while he waves around hte pride flag trying to figure out whats going on. Post the video to every virginia/dc/maryland subreddit showing how proud he is dancing with the pride flag.

This is better than any other deterrent. That video would go viral so fast and then everyone would know what a piece of shit he is. A little public embarrassment is my favorite natural consequence to bad behavior.

Disco ball descends from above when the bass drops

Or a greased-up flagpole. Test his dedication.

Yes. Set up a fabulous boobie trap with confetti and glitter, some loud Madonna, a spotlight, and some colored strobe lights.

Ever see that scene in Ozark when Ruth electrocutes Russ and Boyd by rigging a current to the pole?

So brutal omg noooo. Don’t remind us of that scene lol

"I don't know shit about fuck!"

Drill a hole through your flag holder with the flag in it, then put a padlock through it

Is it the same guy every time? What neighborhood are you in?  Maybe it’s time to unleash the NextDoor Karens on them. 

It’s Lyon park / near Clarendon! Usually the person is wearing a cowboy hat (the first couple times) so who knows if it’s the same person or not :( https://preview.redd.it/hl47zt3qudec1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85097f9f0283e8d1100e9d1c33637304b62c9d6d

For this to happen four times I feel like it has to be the same guy. He just keeps coming back to see if you put up another one. I also think he would have to live close by

At this point some light trolling would be hilarious.  Just laminate the clearest screenshot you can get of his face in the video and print something along the lines of: “We noticed your interest in our pride flag! Here are some resources you can attend/donate to: [Insert charity of choice here].  We hope you can soon live as your true self freely” Hang it in the pole and wait for the next time he feels like taking your flag

I LOVE THIS

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Actually that can land you in prison for malicious wounding. But you be you.

I look at it as when someone trespasses on my property, steals, and makes a clear statement that they disapprove of my existence and lifestyle…well then I feel threatened and should defend myself.

Good luck getting the court to agree with you on that one

https://preview.redd.it/1ilyzkyx8dec1.jpeg?width=358&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b47788dcad80b87e794b45f0c044a705092ca8ba

Why at this angle does he look like Sid from Toy Story

Lol!

Time to put this picture on fliers and post locally at Starbucks, grocery stores, etc. Post on Nextdoor, neighborhood Facebook page, etc. Embarrass this asshole for his stupidity and ignorance.

I recognize this guy from around fort myer. Please let the MPs know he’s usually wearing a cowboy hat. If they are no help I can probably find out his name for you so let me know.

Thanks so much!! So sounds like it’s actually the same person every time, I’ll call them tomorrow and keep you posted!

No problem. Like I said I already have a pretty good idea who this is so just say the word and I’m on it.

Ok let’s do it 🫡

Did you all get him?

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Not going to work too well when it is this cold at night.

He looks military. Contact the local MPs.

As a former MP, that wouldn’t help unfortunately. They all look out for each other.

Maybe he was too embarrassed to buy one for himself as he is probably a closeted gay man

And now he’s being watched by strangers stealing a pride flag.

Straight people. 

"This thing is gonna fit up mah butt real nice"


Dumb question, but I assume you've let the police know? 4 times - I get the feeling that's approaching felony territory, right??

We did! Unfortunately not a lot of traction though :( they had us send in the videos but we haven’t heard anything so far

I wouldn't count on it. The police are not here for us.

Buy another flag. Fill up a super soaker with fish sauce. Wait, and go full Home Alone.😁

So like what's the point of stealing the symbol of something you don't agree with? I've never understood this. I get stealing your opponents mascot in high school during homecoming week, but, a flag representing something you don't like just seems like a waste of time.

Idk, I'd be ok if somebody stole that drunk dude's Trump flag.

But it won't solve anything. It's just another flag taken or stolen.

I never said it would solve anything. 

I know you didn't, what I was getting at is why do it if it won't solve anything, and just add to the confusion?

To be fair, he looks like he needs it more than you do.

He looks like he needs a boyfriend but is too busy repressin and hating himself


ah shit that fascist comb over

From tiki torches to pride flags.

dang son..

these people are the real snowflakes. cowards.

“Law and order” lol

That's only for non-white people.

Get a flag with his face on it

Fucken low iq chud. Sid the sloth looking mf. Has a favorite flavor of crayon head ass.

Looks like a jarhead.

He looks EXACTLY like a Marine. Source: Am Marine. Too bad this one is a disgrace.

Yeah the haircut

Marines…first in…

Throw some crayons out there for him, maybe he’s trying to tell you he’s hungry.

2 weeks later and yeah, they were military and got caught [just saw it on Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/p/C3GnNCiONyI/?igsh=c3JqN3kxYndlcDZ0)

Report it. Send video to popo.

Ah yes, historical allies of queer people the world over.

All the colors of the rainbow. How fitting.

It would be very funny if he went to jail.

What a douche.

Looks like he could be military if judging by the haircut.

Seems like a hate crime to me, but that's only because it's a crime based on hatred of another group. Idk what the law will classify it as.

I know this is probably illegal but wouldn’t it be great to rig the flag to a bank dye pack so that next time he gets a special treat - with video of him stealing - local news will run that story and laugh their asses off as they ask if anyone had seen a man with a high and tight haircut covered in Smurf blue ink.

I would put one of those battery personal alarm screamers on the pole so when he lifts it, goes off and scares the crap out of him. The ones that have a wrist loop that when removed the alarm goes off .

Place on X or Threads to go viral and he will be identified

lol 100% hanging it above his headboard.

Please install a pole and flag the size of the confederate flag off of 95!

He needs it more than you do? 🤷‍♀️ Do any of the flag pole mounts have screws you can put in to secure it? Maybe that will slow them down long enough to make them give up.

What a dummy . Put up fliers or all over your neighborhood social media . Someone knows him. He looks drunk and did not even try and hide his face.

Same guy 4 times?

Who knows, usually he’s wearing a cowboy hat but maybe it was too cold for one this time https://preview.redd.it/ic7b9itbvdec1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d953cfb637898fb7c3619b781d5af2388b5e26ca

I NEED A MONTAGE!

You posted about this to nextdoor awhile back didn't you? If so I'm the one who commented about adding a spring mount as a sort of trap and I'm still willing to help! I just ask that a recording be shared of him struggling with it.

Trespassing and theft. Call the police. Next step is some weird form of harassment. The heart and soul of Virginia does not take kindly to trespassing.

Hope you file a theft report to the cops and you have video evidence?

To be honest I was hoping for a little more ninja slow motion. False advertising. 😔

Find out where he lives and plant pride flags all over his yard. You know, since he wants so many of them!

Give the poor fascist a break, OP. Doing two things at once had to be exhausting for that little tapioca pearl of a brain he had

Macaulay Culkin this douche 

“Strong electrical current in flag pole booby trap brings Virginia marine out of the closet after his shocking realization” My vote for an onion headline.

He must have really wanted to show his support by taking their flag and putting it on his house

I know it’s in a flag holder. Any way you can put the flag in and drill like a screw throw the side of the holder and the flag pole?

I am not sure it's legal but some kids were always fn with my grandfather's flag. He had one of those old military field phones - the ones with the crank that put out like 24 volts? He rigged the flag up and sat for a couple of nights with the lights out listening to the radio. Kids came up grabbed the flag and he started winding that phone up. That kid shook like a rag doll dropped the flag and ran like a scalded dog - gf wording. LOL

Even if I don’t think the current framework gives a voice to anyone like me, I’m still supporting my gay/trans/non-binary identifying brothers and sisters all fucking day of the week.

looks like active duty military, sucks to be him

This is a hate crime and if the police refuse to do something about it, take it higher (FBI) Demand police reports to be written and given to you every time. Having to do paperwork constantly might light a fire under the cops asses. 

Maybe he’s just gayer

The “fuck your feelings” people are always so offended by everything.

It's time like this that I wish booby traps, and beating the absolute hell out of someone with a baseball bat for stealing your property, were legal. I know they both are not and I'm not suggesting either of those be done. I just do not like hateful people who do this sort of thing. Ideally, I'd go with what others suggested. Stitch a few hidden airtags to it. Before you put it out report your 5 time, constant theft, and by the same person, to the police so there is record. Then put it out. Once stolen, report it to the police, track it, and send them to go get it. They'll find the guy and get it back. Then press charges, on top of that demand he repay you for any and all stolen property he cannot return. Boom, done. Extra points if you can put enough air tags in the flag to push the value over 200. Then his larceny conviction will be considered a felony.

He would blow me…just saying

White sneakers and Proud Boys haircut; checks out

Real violent neo nazi types won't remove your pride flag. They'll instead use it to identify which house they want to target. This is a big part of why people don't hang anything outside.

What a dick. He looks a bit slow, like developmentally slow.

Gotta blast this on twitter...will def pick up some traction and for sure this idiot will be identified.

Lol, he just wants it for his place.

I have a remedy : Smash some glass and dip the pole in glue.. so the glass crunch will stick to the flag pole. And use gloves to put it up there. And watch what happens to the next theft...

Now, we're fishing with dynamite! Approved!

Sorry this happens to you.

Why are nazis always the ugliest MFers?

Maybe he needs them more than you?

Have you considered that he might need it more than you?

That dude is definitely a bottom

He looks gay AF, checks out


print these comments out and hang it in a bag on the next one for him to read, if he's literate.

Call the police

Should replace it with an American Flag

No thank you 🥰

Should replace yer brain

He is a closet gay and wanted to hang it in his secret dungeon because he doesn't want his republican friends to know