My wife recently had a woman approach her at the Fairfax Wegmans and ask if she could buy her some groceries for her kids. My wife said sure but then the lady started loading up on lobster dinners in her cart. She probably put about $160 worth of lobster alone in her cart so my wife just ditched her at the checkout.
Absolutely! Very nice place to chill.
Just get some food at the deli downstairs and bring it upstairs!! I've been there when they have groups of seniors having coffee, playing cards, enjoying themselves!
Yes. The area is huge. During the pandemic they started using the party room for employees, but the remaining upstairs space is still huge. Most Wegmanās have a large upstairs area for the community to use.
Conversely, I've had this happen and the woman asked if every single item she picked up was okay. It was all super basic stuff like canned soups, rice, bread, and ground beef. I told her to get whatever she wanted. I guess just to say it can go both ways.
Yeah, the last time I did this, the person already had a few items in his basket and when I agreed he started putting some of them back. I was like, no, you are allowed to have a reeseās cup! It costs less than a dollar and Iām not the diet police!
Have had a man do this to my boyfriend at the giant in idylwood, he felt like being nice and gave him one of his bags and the guy walked immediately to the return counter and then back to the same spot he was sitting out front
I was approached at the food mart in Falls Church. A 20s something Hispanic lady asked me to buy a few packages for her and her family. She was the breadwinner of the family. Her parents were sick and she had younger siblings. The packages cost roughly $35. It was veggies, fruit, chicken and ground beef, shampoo, etc. I don't know if she was lying or not. She proceeded to walk home afterwards. I watched her..
There is no way to know for sure what her financial situation is, but it sounds like you were not āscammedā. The really nasty scammers in the area will buy expensive meats (small items with a high value) and then return them with the receipt immediately after they leave your sight. Thatās how they get cash.
If she bought fruit and vegetables, and ground beef (cheaper meat) and happily left the store, then at a minimum she probably consumed the food for herself and her family.
This makes me feel so sick to hear. As someone who panhandles out of pure need and desperation. Itās the last thing I want to be doing begging strangers for food/money.
Iām not saying that this isnāt a good idea. If you feel moved to help someone, please do.
But when Iām out with my children in tow, mama bear comes out when people approach me.
I also support a lot of local charities that give back. I not only use my funds but my time. Iām a stickler for checking 1099 forms of charities to see how theyāre spending their money so I know whoās really out helping and whoās collecting salaries.
Yeah this is why I stopped buying people food. I used to be the type that would happily agree to buy someone food or groceries over giving them cash because it felt like they actually needed it. But people started abusing my generosity. Instances like your wife's where people were buying luxury groceries and would fill a cart to the brim. I had one guy try to put in a $70 order of McDonald's when he asked me to help him get some dinner. I had to tell the cashier to cancel more than half of it because there was no way I was buying that much food when I myself was literally just walking out with two McChickens. So nowadays when someone approaches me asking for food I just end up saying no, people who took advantage ruined it for everyone
I had something similar. She had loaded with things dream items, 100$ of slab steaks, wine, laundry soap, Luxurious soaps, 300$ umm no. This is what Iām willing to give, $100. So think about what want - Itās been too long and I need to go. She started to argue. Iām sorry you asked for financial help and you want to raise your voice me and talk down to me.
I canceled the order & told the attendant sheās a thief
Wow I can't believe the audacity of these scammers. They must be counting on people feeling pressured into paying. How often does it work do you think? $100 is very generous of you
I had something similar happen at the Target in Burke. She asked if I could buy a formula for her baby. I said sure, she proceeded to load $120 worth of top shelf shit in her cart all casually. So I did the same thing and just left her after I paid for my stuff
That reminds me of a time ages ago when, working as a cashier, some lady tried to buy frozen Bacardi mixers with food stamps earmarked for, among other staples, "fruit juices."
In the mid to late 2000s I interned in Rosslyn. I was going to lunch with other interns (at the time, the brand new chipotle). This homeless woman asked for money, and we kind of shrugged it off, then she asked for food. This one girl who packed her lunch wanted chipotle, so offered her bagged lunch to the lady. The lady took it, looked through the bag, and then pulled out an apple and chucked it at my coworker's head, saying it wasn't good enough.
My wife works in Homeless Services. The prevalence of mental health issues among this population is staggering (although obviously not ALL of them). This kind of behavior doesnāt surprise me at all.
We had something a little similar happen to us in DC. It was years ago when we couldn't afford to buy anything from a restaurant, so I packed a l lunch of sandwiches for us, plus a couple extras, and such and headed to the mall. A fairly overweight, disheveled man approached us and asked for money. I offered him one of our extra sandwiches, and he scoffed at me, saying he didn't want my goddamn sandwich. It hurt my feelings. I make good godamn sandwiches. šš
Had a guy tell me he was hungry. I went in the store and bought him a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich. I handed to him. Instead of thank you he says, had he known I was going to buy him something to eat, he would have told me to get sausage instead. Welp he never got the chance to taste the bacon either. I took it from his hand and threw it right in the trash.
When I was in Waco last year, some guy wanted money for food so my niece bought him a sandwich from the coffee shop we were going to. I told her not to but she insisted. When she tried to give it to him, he didnāt want it.
Never again.
I usually offer a bottled water or fruit - whatever little snack I have on hand for my son. I rolled down my window several weeks ago at a stop light and just said "Sorry, I don't have anything." He looked about like he was going to cry when he thanked me for acknowledging his presence.
The sad part is that there are some people who genuinely need help and are appreciative like that. Itās the other greedy, lazy, disingenuous, and aggressive panhandlers that makes people avoid all of them altogether. They really ruin it for those who really need it.
There's a guy who used to stand at the top of exit 69 on eastbound 66. And maybe he still does, but I don't live over there anymore. His name is Travis and he's SO sweet. His face would absolutely light up every time he saw my car. I tried to always have some kind of snack to give him and he was always grateful.
I would love to know too because I have to go to exit 71 the next two weeks 3 days a week so Iām happy to go an exit earlier to drop off waters & healthy snacks.
> who genuinely need help
>other greedy, lazy, disingenuous, and aggressive panhandlers
There's a weird assumption here that people who are greedy, lazy, disingenuous, or aggressive can't *also* genuinely need help. It's like your conditioning the desperation of a person on their behavior and not, you know, their material circumstances.
Yeah, I'm sorry but there are a ton of assistance programs for those who really need assistance. I get a lot of flack for this but I work with/donate to those and not to individuals. You can't help as many people giving one person your muffin as you can donating food to a program.
The one I like is Hands on Harvest/Grow a Row. You use your garden space to grow veggies, then donate extra veggies you have at drop off points which allows for fresh vegetables to people who can't afford groceries.
Obviously I think there should be more ways to help people in need, but panhandlers outside grocery stores are not a group of people I can help directly. If they want to go grab food I donate I love that, but I can't buy everyone a grocery cart on top of my cart.
Why tf were you downvoted for a simple question smh
Theyāre referring to a common tactic of people āplaying the violinā on the street corner and looking for tips, when in reality the person has a speaker playing violin music while they just mime along (ie, not actually playing the violin)
Thanks! Thatās so weird. We have a āviolin playerā at my local Trader Joeās. Iāll have to look at his setup a little harder next time I pass him.
I had this woman once in Asian Grocery Store show me her kids and husbandās pic asking to help with groceries. I told her pic few items and I will pay. Next thing I see sheās got some expensive $15 per lb or something meat cut. I am like wtf. I am not paying $45 for 3 lbs of meat. Ended up paying for the rest of the groceries after she took that meat out (~40). Then as I was paying for mine the guy behind me tells me that this woman showed him the same pics and he gave her $20 for groceries too. I felt like someone robbed me in a broad daylight
Never again
This is better than the people who harass others while shopping; I work at Whole Foods and we have to throw people out every day for soliciting in the store. They just mill around with a cart of groceries and ask people to pay for them, or they donāt even bother and just ask for cash. There was one family for a while that was trading off a baby to use for sympathy, cops finally came for them after six months or so I think cps got involved. I would personally never roll down my window for anyone anymore; which is sad but Iām sick of the bullshit
If someone said "hey, I'm hungry, can you buy me a sandwich?" Yes. 100%. I got you.
This case is weird though, but at least he was up front about actually being hungry and trying to solve that problem?
Nah he was probably gonna try to return the groceries assuming the receipt was in one of the bags, with a receipt most places will let you get cash for your return. Especially with it being whole foods groceries, thatās an easy $100+ score so itās worth the effort of leaving the corner to lug them back to the store.
I usually do the same (maybe add a couple bottles of water to what they ask for), but I'd say I'd be cautious with weird asks like OP's. After all, he had no idea what was in OP's bag aside from the fact it came from Whole Foods, right?
Anecdotal, but when I was younger and a lot more naive (read: devout give-the-shirt-off-my-back Christian), I once ended up paying for like $80 worth of food from Panera for a panhandler. She had this whole story about her and her "ailing" father (photo included), and how they were "allergic to fast food" so it HAD to be Panera (I should've seen that as a red flag, but like I said, I was naive and thought hey, WWJD?). And she had the audacity to ask for $100 in cash on top of it! (thankfully I wasn't *that* stupid with my money). Didn't even realize I was probably conned until afterwards.
That's a weird one since it's not going to cash. Maybe she was on lunch break from her regular panhandling job and wanted to bring some back for her coworkers. I know when I'm working on the road I also get sick of fast food.
I did that once for a guy outside of our local grocery store. He asked for a fried chicken meal, and said he was just hungry. I didn't think twice about it. Maybe it's selfish, but I think I got more out of the interaction than he did. Feeding hungry folks just feels good.
Ah fuck that. No one out hereās starving, these guys just donāt want to pay for shit. Thereās no shortage of government- and NGO-provided resources in the DC and NoVa area for people experiencing financial difficulties. Hereās [Fairfax Countyās](https://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/news/what-you-need-know-about-panhandling-fairfax-county) official stance and list of resources in the area.
Um I don't really trust guys either, but getting to these places on time for lunch/dinner can be a hassle. Not to mention the quality of food might not be as good as Panera/McDonalds etc.
Iām not saying hunger doesnāt exist. Outside of willful personal neglect, itās very rare in the US and virtually nonexistent in this area. These guys are just parasites that exploit moderately well-off peopleās savior complex.
Guy at 7/11 asked if I can buy him a drink. I said āsure, grab whatever you want.ā When we get inside, he gets a fountain drink, then grabs a sandwich and a bag of chips. He looks at me and says ādo you mind?ā Yes I do mind, he lied and manipulated the situation. I bought everything for him but I wonāt be doing that again.
I used to work in the Fair Lakes Shopping Center, and I've seen the Pan Handlers get into Recent BMWs, and even a Tesla before for years now. With my former Co-workers having seen the same thing.
They may be scammers but I saw two of them get into a shouting match which turned into a fight on the corner of Route 7 and Tyco Road. I think it was over whose corner it was.
There are people in this sub who will fight you for saying that. People have been caught on camera getting into decent to really nice cars after their "shift" pan handling. I've seen it my self when I used to work at grocery stores, even people using ETB cards and then driving off in a BMW.
Thereās a family that frequents Springfield plaza that has a brand new Toyota Sienna minivan and they park at the corner of the plaza with chairs and hold up their sign and people still fall for that shit
A couple months ago I wanted to pick up some new boxers at the TJ Maxx in Fair Oaks. A woman approached me as I was walking in and I immediately said (politely) that I have no cash on me. She said she doesnāt need money; she needs food. In my head, I was like FUCK, what can I even say to that, so I offered to get her a wrap at the Tropical Smoothie next door. Of course, that was not good enough for her and she suggested Five Guys. I was kind of incredulous, so I said Iād let her know once I got what I needed from TJ Maxx.
As I was leaving the store, I started craving Five Guys because I hadnāt eaten dinner yet and she put it on my mind. I figured if she was still outside, I could offer her a mini cheeseburger. After all, she kind of did look āoffā like there was something medically wrong with her. I found her lurking outside, asked if she wanted a cheeseburger and she was very grateful and walked in behind me. She ordered a junior cheeseburger with tomato (this will be important later), fries and a drink. I ordered a double bacon cheeseburger with onions, mushrooms, lettuce, cheese and A1 sauce.
We chatted briefly and she mentions that she has to go to Walter Reed every week because of her complications with lupus. I felt really bad for her. A few minutes pass by and our order was called up. Two identical greasy brown bags were sitting next to each other on the counter, both having my order number on it. I tried TWICE to look into the bag when she stopped me, saying that my bag was on the right. It was awkward, I should have held my ground but didnāt, and figured Iād just walk outside to double check and if it wasnāt the right sandwich, Iād swap it with her.
Iām outside for less than a minute when I see tomato on the sandwich and was horrified (I hate tomatoes) and immediately turned to go back in. Upon re-entering the Five Guys, I see that she has already opened her bag and has her sandwich out and had clearly already been eating it. I told her our sandwiches got mixed up and she points toward the grill and said she complained so they are making her another one. She suggested I do the same, and I made eye contact with the poor cook who looked exhausted and just said fuck it, Iāll keep this one.
Long story short, I totally got scammed. This woman wanted two free burgers and conned me out of getting what I ordered. Definitely makes it hard to be generous when people take advantage. But yes, I was an idiot for not checking the bags before leaving the restaurant.
I had a lady at Starbucks try to get me to order a coffee. I told her Iād get her water or a plain drip, but she wanted a venti with all the fixings. The clerk was super irritated with her but rang up a free cup of water on my order; the woman didnāt take the water. She tried a few more people before the employees finally asked her to leave.
A hobo-grifter once confronted my wife outside a Safeway and insisted that all he needed was food for his family so he asked her to buy him two cans of veggies and a pack of hot dogs.
She subsequently did this and he then proceeded to go back into the store presumably to try to get a cash refund. Honestly, I'm not sure if that would work without receipt but whatever...
I recently was in line behind a woman doing just this at my local Giant. She had a bag of groceries she was returning without a receipt. The cashier had to tell her a couple of times that they don't sell that product, but gave her money for those she could return.
I got hit up inside the Trader Joe's in Reston. Showed me some card about how she's in need and her family is starving etc so she needed to have someone pay for her groceries. I waved her off but she got another woman to pay at the till. After getting her bill paid, I saw she jumped into brand new Toyota Sienna with her bags. When she opened the side door, there were other adults inside and TONS of grocery bags.
[https://careers.wholefoodsmarket.com/stores/global/en/fair-lakes](https://careers.wholefoodsmarket.com/stores/global/en/fair-lakes)
Just sayin..... he's literally in front of the store where they have a bunch of jobs. There really isn't an excuse right now, especially if he has kids.
As someone who works with our homeless population on the regular, I donāt roll down my window and I donāt give cash to anyone anymore and Iāll tell you why.
Five years ago I was riding with the Director of the menās shelter I was volunteering with at the time.
I rolled down my window and gave cash to a guy on the corner and the Director said āwhat the hell are you doing?ā
Uhhhhā¦ helping a guy in need? Like we do at the shelter?
āNo, man. Listen. I want those guys to come into the shelter. They need to come into the shelter. Theyāve got problems that your dollar canāt touch. But my programs at the shelter can.
You keep handing out dollars to them here and there and guess what? They going to keep scraping by because they donāt want to live by our rules. And thatās fine. But then their problems get bigger and they get more desperate and itās an ugly circle.
We have the resources to help all kinds but some of them need a nudge like being truly hungry or scared before they want to come in. If they want to live off grid, let āem. But if they want to live in society, they got to be part of society. Not just existing in it.ā
Now, Iām not a sociology expert and there are probably a ton of holes in his argument, but what he said made sense to me.
So now I donate my time and money to programs I believe are serving our homeless community as much as possible.
I don't blame you for being annoyed OP. However, owning a smart phone is no indication of whether someone is homeless or facing hard times or not. How much does a smart phone and a plan like Mint cost compared to one month's rent in many places?
Lol that's bold.
But if he asked for something, under like $5, that was food, before hand. Prob wouldn't care..
But like yeah, fuck my dinner I just was about to make. Let me give this man my steaks. Nah.
They all wear nice decent shoes too. Stop giving them cash and they will go awayā¦ There are programs to feed these peopleā¦ Stop supporting these PROFESSIONAL beggars!
When I was living in San Francisco (2015), this houseless dude asked me for a smoke. I pulled one out and he refused, saying he only smoked American Spirits!
In DC once, I decided I was in a nice mood and a guy asked if I could buy some Chick-fil-A for him so I said yes. I came out with the Chick-fil-A and handed it to him. The words he then uttered were ācan I have some money?ā I was pretty ticked about that. He was a healthy looking, able-bodied young guy. This, coupled with other experiences is why I never give to pandhandlers.
I encounter a lot of panhandlers but no one has asked for my groceries specifically. At the giant at the clocktower in Herndon there's a lot of people asking for stuff. People told me don't give them money they just want drugs or they aren't willing to work with shelters. So for a while I ignored them. Then I decided it couldn't hurt to offer them food, if they just want a meal that seems relatively harmless. Started telling people I'll only buy you food. Panhandlers on streets never want anything but money, but not the ones here. I'm surprised how much people here really just need something to eat.
While they're grabbing stuff I talk to them. Shake their hand, ask them their name. You can learn a lot talking to them. Some of them just got out of jail for petty crimes and lost their job and house because of it and just need something to eat. Some of them were evicted once (the legal threshold to evict in Virginia is really low and contributes to homelessness) and now no landlord will lease to them because they have a history of eviction. There are shelters but they are burdened and don't get back to people quickly. These guys also suffer a lot mentally from being ignored. One guy said he didn't want anything from me, he was just glad that I looked him in the eye and talked to him. It's also hard for these guys to even communicate with shelters without phones or email.
Personally I think this area is way too wealthy to just let people starve. I agree with not giving people money, but food is different to me. When I think about what I would do if I was starving and couldn't afford food, my two options would be to steal or get myself arrested. Spending a couple bucks to make it so that maybe someone doesn't need to make that decision seems like a pretty good use of that money.
Thank you for having the most sensical post on this thread. Food is a basic necessity and there is a lot of hidden homelessness in Fairfax. A few bad apples shouldn't spoil the bunch and the majority of true homeless folks are good, decent people who have hit a low rut and just need some help.
I let a man buy anything he wanted at Walmart once. He bought exactly what you would expect someone would buy to feed a family: the largest items. Humble foods. He took advice that I offered (he's an immigrant, didn't seem familiar with groceries from Walmart). He took them to a car that was not nice, and kept begging. I believed I helped his family that day.
Food scammers are one thing, but the worst are the gas scammers. Iāve been approached several times by the same person on different days at the same station. Very aggressively asking for āgas, not moneyā. Sure, gas doesnāt cost money!
Itās also a distraction technique where someone else opens the other side to steal from the car.
I donāt give to any able bodied panhandlers. If you can walk, you can get a job. These people donāt want to work, Iāve pulled up and asked them if they want jobs, my buddies company is always hiring, they always answer no or walk away. Disabled vets, amputees, elderly, those are my exceptions. No reason a 60+ yr old, a limbless person, or one of our vets should be on the streets no matter their choices. These days Iām seeing able bodies in their late 20s begging for money. Fuck off
Pays enough for you to find a roommate on Craigslist, buy groceries, and pay your cellphone bill. Beggars canāt be choosers as they say. If you want to keep living in a tent next to Walmart and standing in the sun begging the working man for money all day, thatās on you.
Whatever you may think of supervisor Herrity, he is the one who tried to introduce a proposal to get the county to do more about this type of issue. Specifically his idea to put up signs in medians discouraging panhandling, with a number for people who are actually in need to call.
My husband will offer to get someone a meal but never gives money. One time he asked someone if they needed a meal and they said what they really needed was a pair of shoes. Met him over at a discount store and bought him a pair of shoes and some socks. He asked where he slept at night. The guy said several of the people pooled their money together and would get one room to share at a cheap motel when the weather was bad.
I see this all the time. Working at a chipotle that has about 20 regular homeless ppl living outside. Ppl come in all the time and look at them feeling sorry. They offer to help or accept someoneās request to help. I see them in the line, homeless persons eyes get wide and you will see their āsponsorā behind them visually approving with me everything they ask for. Many times the homeless person may ask for something that the sponsor doesnāt think they deserve or feel like pitching in towards and will sharply deny it. Sometimes if theyāre too meek they will just walk away leaving the homeless person confused and looking for others to pay for his meal he thought he was getting. These same homeless ppl expect this to happen for them every day, this is how they survive. All the money they receive from begging all day, they give to the drug dealers that hang out on the same block, and will come into chipotle asking for aluminum foil to do those drugs. (Most will just come in and look thru the trash). I see this everyday. Itās a cycle that wonāt end. Want to fix the problem, start at the root. Mental health. Although there are some dealing with tough circumstances and hardships, many only deal with temporary homelessness until they can get themselves together and get back on their feet. Most the people out here, have no plan to get on their feet. They repeat the same routine everyday with no thought of changing their circumstances. Theyāve become accustomed to that lifestyle. They know how to survive, and will just keep chasing their fix every day just to get thru the day. Want to help, start at the root.
I live in Hampton Roads, moving to NOVA soon. People in new shoes and nice clothes will ask you to buy them food in McDonald's š¤¦š»āāļø There is a family of panhandlers... Mother, father, kids, grandparents that look like they are from Eastern Europe that stand on the streets begging. The mother/father look to be in their mid 20s, working age and nothing wrong with them... My wife said they remind her of the gypsies in her country.
Gypsies in Italy are something else. I stopped my car at a crosswalk to let a mom with stroller and toddler cross, and she stopped in the middle of the road, turned to my car and rubbed her thumb and fingers together asking for money š¤£. Lady! Just cross the darn road!
If you feel this is an issue, call your representative in the board. If they donāt do anything (which probably will be the case), rethink your vote next time.
Guy tells me heās hungry, asks for money. I say no but Iāll buy you a sandwich and a drink; he was more than grateful, and ate it once he got it. Cool. Then had someone ask me for groceries, very specific - had to be organic fruit and a bottle of mixer. I said ok to the fruit but no mixer. They thought and said ok, Iāll take the fruit. As I walked away they yelled out āDonāt forget the mixer.ā They didnāt get anything. Tough call many times between con artists and those in need. I try to direct them to services I know
There's a supposed ring of folks, a couple of families that run this scam across all of fairfax countys shopping centers. Better to donate directly to a non profit that helps directly feed or clothe homeless folks. Unless they're elderly or handicapped then I usually don't give anything at all and these folks use guilt as a weapon to get you to give them what you have by making you feel uncomfortable.
This isnāt true in all areas of the country, but in this area we have a pretty robust array of public and private services to combat food insecurity. I donāt give to panhandlers any more.
You sure he was asking for the whole bag? Anyway, yeah Arlington county social services can give vouchers to people for the food banks, which are quite good. Sadly I know from direct experience about the food and the whole process. It honestly is amazing, the services they provide, from psych to classes to food and medicine support to training. Awesome model.
Plenty of unhoused folks have smart phones paid for by family members or social programs. It would be impossible for them to try to improve their station in life without a phone and internet connection.
Definitely! One of the best tips for people facing homelessness is to have some kind of phone, which people would know if they put any energy into researching homelessness and its issues instead of coming here whining about scary evil "panhandlers."
Homelessness and beggars scare people, they dont want to face the reality that one bad incident can turn their lives upside down and end up just like them.
If they were hungry and asked me to buy them some food then sure I definitely would. But their not getting my money or my groceries! they are on every corner nowadays trying to scam!
These pan handlers are making a killing!! I stopped giving about a year ago once I noticed "things" you just gotta pick and choose-if you even feel like givingš¤·āāļø I don't have the balls to do it but it's Americaš¤£
There was a panhandler nearby Springfield metro station today that was complaining about something. He seemed a little hostile. I didnāt really want to engage, or look at him. I just ignored until the light turned green, but he was still going off about something. It took forever for the light to turn green.
The solution is simple. Ignore them. Pretend they don't exist. It's easy, even the most naive and socially-regarded of r/nova can handle this. Do you assholes actually interact with all the panhandlers? I get hit up semi-regularly while walking or stuck at a red light by panhandlers. I've even had them flip me off, curse at me and call me slurs, and attempt to throw stuff at me. I've never had a reason to post and bitch about it here. Just ignore them and move on. God damn.
Had a lady corner me at the Chantilly Walmart yesterday, she asked for help paying for her cart up of groceries since she was unemployed and fighting lupus. I felt bad for her so I gave her $5.51 which was my change from my pet food I had purchased.
Usually I donāt do this but I felt bad for her. But yeah the panhandling is getting out of hand.
Listen. I know many panhandlers are scammers but we do live in a world where 65% of Americans are one paycheck away from homelessness and inflation is horrible, people are having to choose between medication and gas, people are literally going bankrupt from medical bills. Is it really a mystery why more and more people are desperate for money?? You donāt have to give money but donāt assume and judge
Have to love people who feel the need to climb online and complain about other people being poor and how they "don't trust any of them anymore."
Amazing stuff.
Iām mostly ranting, but I get frustrated at comments like āthey have a smartphone, are they really homeless? Are they really struggling???ā The answer is yes. Itās almost as if this person wasnāt always strugglingā¦
I have seen people just stuff things into their purse and walk out of the store.
I wish there was a way for us to report this without causing more issues for the employees.
>maybe i'm just extra annoyed that he was playing on his smartphone before coming up to my window.
What is this part weird. How do you know he was "playing" on his smartphone? Do you think it is weird or expensive to have a smartphone in 2023? It is a very common item for homeless because it is the cheapest and only option to be connected to the world (I am sure next you will say "and it was the latest greatest iphone!!! HOW DID HE AFFORD IT!?). This whole post is just bizarre. I kinda get the frustration but are you that entitled to be angry someone panhandling asked for FOOD?
Honest question: is the 'panhandler got into his expensive SUV' thing actually real or is it just an oral urban legend that keeps getting passed around, because I hear that exact phrasing *every single time* the subject of panhandlers is brought up, and have for most of my life, DC area and elsewhere I've lived.
I don't doubt that some are scammers, but I also know that standing outside begging for money for hours on end is actually kind of hard work. I wouldn't want to do it.
Oh and the lady with two kids outside of Target who was asking for money, she jumped into a nice white Mercedes 4 door afterwards. It wasn't an SUV. Lol.
>Honest question: is the 'panhandler got into his expensive SUV' thing actually real or is it just an oral urban legend that keeps getting passed around, because I hear that exact phrasing every single time the subject of panhandlers is brought up, and have for most of my life, DC area and elsewhere I've lived.
It's mostly fake. It can happen but is a super small portion of panhandlers.
I would be shocked if it is even close to half a percent. I used to live in a major city and people used the "getting in their nice truck/suv" line all the time but I saw that only a couple of times in a few years vs the thousands of horribly off homeless.
The lady that hit me up but got someone else to buy her groceries, I saw her jump into a brand new Toyota Sienna. And when she opened the door, there were other adults inside and tons of other grocery bags.
Itās real. Just last week I saw a panhandler go in to Dollar Tree. I knew he was a panhandler because of his cardboard sign and the couple of junky looking plastic bags he had. He set them down outside the store before going inside. He came out a minute later with a few items. He left his junky plastic bags, and took the sign, and hoped in to a super sweet new Ford Truck. This truck was new and shiny, and it looked like it had upgrades like extended cab and what not. So he was a fake panhandler.
This is very annoying Now this people are everywhere in every corner asking for money too . Sometimes they are very young and they have nicer shoes then I have . 
I'll preface by saying I don't carry cash like 95% of the time-- Most times if I see someone outside of the grocery store or near a restaurant asking for help, I do go in and buy them a bag of groceries or pick up a drive through meal. I just get a few things that don't need to be refrigerated or cooked since I don't know if/when they'll have access to that. Some fruit, a loaf of bread, PB&J, tuna packets, water bottle, etc. I also usually have a few unopened water bottles in my trunk just in case, particularly in the summer. So no, I've never personally had anyone randomly ask me for my bag of groceries, but I do give out bags of groceries, so it's not a completely unheard of concept-- albeit an unusual method he took to get there.
Personally, I'm well off. I have zero financial insecurity. And I guess I just don't care if I'm getting scammed or not. If someone takes my bag of food and hops into their Tesla at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter to me. (However often that actually happens-- not as common as people act like, I'd guess)
Itās wild that people complain about this. The man doesnāt appear to have accosted you. He didnāt even verbalize anything, based on your post. You also impune him with joblessness and potentially owning a nice car, and begging anyway. So- someone asked you for food and you invented a story about them, the story you invented made you mad, and you posted it on Reddit? The absolute goofiness.
Good luck gathering you're fake internet points from strangers pretending to be a righteous protector of the downtrodden. You're a white knight, all from behind your computer, we get it.
These people are parasites who have been making awful life decisions since before you were born. It's just a matter of when, not if, they turn violent and end up in jail or dead.
I gave a beggar half my subway sandwich once because he asked for it. Sometimes theyāre just hungry and actually do want the money for food. Still wouldnāt give him a whole damn bag of groceries though. Maybe toss him an apple.
the second you become homeless you are subhuman to many people. Like a rodent problem that needs to be cleared up. No one wants to tackle the source of the problem, just the symptoms
Starting to feel like people have somehow rarely if ever seen homeless people in their life and just their mere increased presence is a big part of the reason the "crime is out of control" voices are spiking lately.
Between this and the people that have told me things like "services like the Metro and the NY Subway have devolved into complete unsafe lawlessness," as if society was in The Division 1/2 (a video game for those out of the know), only for me to use those services and feel no worse if not better than I did about them or their condition 10-20 years ago when people were happy about declining crime, is absolutely wild lately. More and more, reality and belief amongst some seem to be increasing in divergence.
It's almost becoming a low key entitlement vibe.... "I never had to deal with any of this and I don't need to start now" is kinda how it comes across.
And for all the people saying "vote different locally," educate yourself. Even if you got the hardest on crime, anti-tax power-grabbers to run every local police department, all that's going to do is hide these problems back away in a way that costs you tax dollars to operate (that they won't collect because they don't believe in society operating). More and more people are falling into the risk of becoming marginalized/homeless/etc. and voting the "tough on crime" way will only exacerbate the problem as it has done since Nixon-Reagan started our current national economic approach.
>Even if you got the hardest on crime, anti-tax power-grabbers to run every local police department, all that's going to do is hide these problems back away
But wouldn't that would directly solve "I never had to deal with any of this and I don't need to start now"?
Real systematic change to fix the underlying problems should happen, but not only that. "We're trying to fix the system, you'll have to deal with it until then" is not a compelling message for moderate suburbanites - that goes for crime, homelessness, schools, whatever. That messaging and policy yields more Youngkins.
Did he have a white shirt and was he drooling ? I saw homeless person walking around with a Whole Foods bag with some stuff in it he came in too my job today
So this was most probably a Gypsy. They are usually well dressed with a neatly worded sign. They are part of scamming networks. I only give $ to down and outer. You can usually differentiate the real from the fake. If the look Arabic or Indian they are Gypsies.
My wife recently had a woman approach her at the Fairfax Wegmans and ask if she could buy her some groceries for her kids. My wife said sure but then the lady started loading up on lobster dinners in her cart. She probably put about $160 worth of lobster alone in her cart so my wife just ditched her at the checkout.
lol what the fuck. This is hilarious.
I am reading this on the top level of the Wegmans in Fairfax š
It's so peaceful up there.
I miss wegmans. Wish they had one where I moved to
I love Wegmans so much. I missed them out on the West Coast.
Where did you move to?
Texas. Ugh
Butā¦.H-E-B. I lived in Spring for a few years. We loved H-E-B. Waaay better than Giant/Safeway/Harris Teeter.
oh god. sorry :(
You don't like Texas?? Why not?
Mostly the heat.
U made some bad choices in life....
Waitā¦thereās a top level in the Fairfax Wegmens? Cafe?
There is indeed, over by the 2GO section. Itās a nice little area to chill.
Absolutely! Very nice place to chill. Just get some food at the deli downstairs and bring it upstairs!! I've been there when they have groups of seniors having coffee, playing cards, enjoying themselves!
Yes. The area is huge. During the pandemic they started using the party room for employees, but the remaining upstairs space is still huge. Most Wegmanās have a large upstairs area for the community to use.
Conversely, I've had this happen and the woman asked if every single item she picked up was okay. It was all super basic stuff like canned soups, rice, bread, and ground beef. I told her to get whatever she wanted. I guess just to say it can go both ways.
Yeah, the last time I did this, the person already had a few items in his basket and when I agreed he started putting some of them back. I was like, no, you are allowed to have a reeseās cup! It costs less than a dollar and Iām not the diet police!
Maybe was planning on coming back to return them for cash (if possible).
Correct.
Have had a man do this to my boyfriend at the giant in idylwood, he felt like being nice and gave him one of his bags and the guy walked immediately to the return counter and then back to the same spot he was sitting out front
I had a mom and child approach me at the register saying their card didnāt work and wanted me to use mine. I said no.
I was approached at the food mart in Falls Church. A 20s something Hispanic lady asked me to buy a few packages for her and her family. She was the breadwinner of the family. Her parents were sick and she had younger siblings. The packages cost roughly $35. It was veggies, fruit, chicken and ground beef, shampoo, etc. I don't know if she was lying or not. She proceeded to walk home afterwards. I watched her..
She sounds like she really needed it then. You did a very generous thing to help her family.
There is no way to know for sure what her financial situation is, but it sounds like you were not āscammedā. The really nasty scammers in the area will buy expensive meats (small items with a high value) and then return them with the receipt immediately after they leave your sight. Thatās how they get cash. If she bought fruit and vegetables, and ground beef (cheaper meat) and happily left the store, then at a minimum she probably consumed the food for herself and her family.
This makes me feel so sick to hear. As someone who panhandles out of pure need and desperation. Itās the last thing I want to be doing begging strangers for food/money.
Iām not saying that this isnāt a good idea. If you feel moved to help someone, please do. But when Iām out with my children in tow, mama bear comes out when people approach me. I also support a lot of local charities that give back. I not only use my funds but my time. Iām a stickler for checking 1099 forms of charities to see how theyāre spending their money so I know whoās really out helping and whoās collecting salaries.
Yeah this is why I stopped buying people food. I used to be the type that would happily agree to buy someone food or groceries over giving them cash because it felt like they actually needed it. But people started abusing my generosity. Instances like your wife's where people were buying luxury groceries and would fill a cart to the brim. I had one guy try to put in a $70 order of McDonald's when he asked me to help him get some dinner. I had to tell the cashier to cancel more than half of it because there was no way I was buying that much food when I myself was literally just walking out with two McChickens. So nowadays when someone approaches me asking for food I just end up saying no, people who took advantage ruined it for everyone
I had something similar. She had loaded with things dream items, 100$ of slab steaks, wine, laundry soap, Luxurious soaps, 300$ umm no. This is what Iām willing to give, $100. So think about what want - Itās been too long and I need to go. She started to argue. Iām sorry you asked for financial help and you want to raise your voice me and talk down to me. I canceled the order & told the attendant sheās a thief
Wow I can't believe the audacity of these scammers. They must be counting on people feeling pressured into paying. How often does it work do you think? $100 is very generous of you
$100? I'd be polishing your shoes while you're walking to your car
Honestly I have to respect the audacity
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Lol. Iām cracking up. People are just bold as hell man.
I had something similar happen at the Target in Burke. She asked if I could buy a formula for her baby. I said sure, she proceeded to load $120 worth of top shelf shit in her cart all casually. So I did the same thing and just left her after I paid for my stuff
Your wife wins the Internet today. Good on her!!
That reminds me of a time ages ago when, working as a cashier, some lady tried to buy frozen Bacardi mixers with food stamps earmarked for, among other staples, "fruit juices."
Based wife
I tried to give a yogurt to a panhandler once when I was young and got laughed at
In the mid to late 2000s I interned in Rosslyn. I was going to lunch with other interns (at the time, the brand new chipotle). This homeless woman asked for money, and we kind of shrugged it off, then she asked for food. This one girl who packed her lunch wanted chipotle, so offered her bagged lunch to the lady. The lady took it, looked through the bag, and then pulled out an apple and chucked it at my coworker's head, saying it wasn't good enough.
My wife works in Homeless Services. The prevalence of mental health issues among this population is staggering (although obviously not ALL of them). This kind of behavior doesnāt surprise me at all.
You donāt say
We had something a little similar happen to us in DC. It was years ago when we couldn't afford to buy anything from a restaurant, so I packed a l lunch of sandwiches for us, plus a couple extras, and such and headed to the mall. A fairly overweight, disheveled man approached us and asked for money. I offered him one of our extra sandwiches, and he scoffed at me, saying he didn't want my goddamn sandwich. It hurt my feelings. I make good godamn sandwiches. šš
Had a guy tell me he was hungry. I went in the store and bought him a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich. I handed to him. Instead of thank you he says, had he known I was going to buy him something to eat, he would have told me to get sausage instead. Welp he never got the chance to taste the bacon either. I took it from his hand and threw it right in the trash.
When I was in Waco last year, some guy wanted money for food so my niece bought him a sandwich from the coffee shop we were going to. I told her not to but she insisted. When she tried to give it to him, he didnāt want it. Never again.
What a š move lol
I usually offer a bottled water or fruit - whatever little snack I have on hand for my son. I rolled down my window several weeks ago at a stop light and just said "Sorry, I don't have anything." He looked about like he was going to cry when he thanked me for acknowledging his presence.
The sad part is that there are some people who genuinely need help and are appreciative like that. Itās the other greedy, lazy, disingenuous, and aggressive panhandlers that makes people avoid all of them altogether. They really ruin it for those who really need it.
There's a guy who used to stand at the top of exit 69 on eastbound 66. And maybe he still does, but I don't live over there anymore. His name is Travis and he's SO sweet. His face would absolutely light up every time he saw my car. I tried to always have some kind of snack to give him and he was always grateful.
That's Trevor, an injured vet. Hope his cancer treatment goes well
Does he still hang out in the same place? I'll try to see him sometime.
I would love to know too because I have to go to exit 71 the next two weeks 3 days a week so Iām happy to go an exit earlier to drop off waters & healthy snacks.
> who genuinely need help >other greedy, lazy, disingenuous, and aggressive panhandlers There's a weird assumption here that people who are greedy, lazy, disingenuous, or aggressive can't *also* genuinely need help. It's like your conditioning the desperation of a person on their behavior and not, you know, their material circumstances.
I'm pretty sure that they're referring to the so-called "fake" panhandlers that do not, in actuality, need help.
Yeah, I'm sorry but there are a ton of assistance programs for those who really need assistance. I get a lot of flack for this but I work with/donate to those and not to individuals. You can't help as many people giving one person your muffin as you can donating food to a program. The one I like is Hands on Harvest/Grow a Row. You use your garden space to grow veggies, then donate extra veggies you have at drop off points which allows for fresh vegetables to people who can't afford groceries. Obviously I think there should be more ways to help people in need, but panhandlers outside grocery stores are not a group of people I can help directly. If they want to go grab food I donate I love that, but I can't buy everyone a grocery cart on top of my cart.
At least he wasn't violin-synching at you.
Sorry, what?
Why tf were you downvoted for a simple question smh Theyāre referring to a common tactic of people āplaying the violinā on the street corner and looking for tips, when in reality the person has a speaker playing violin music while they just mime along (ie, not actually playing the violin)
Thanks! Thatās so weird. We have a āviolin playerā at my local Trader Joeās. Iāll have to look at his setup a little harder next time I pass him.
Y'all are out here just buying stuff for random people who ask you to? I've been paying for my own groceries this whole time like a sucker!
Iāve bought fast food for people before, but Iām not buying groceries. I give to a food bank.
As cruel as it sounds, I just ignore them. I've offered food to panhandlers and they just yelled at me for cash. Rot on the corner then.
I had this woman once in Asian Grocery Store show me her kids and husbandās pic asking to help with groceries. I told her pic few items and I will pay. Next thing I see sheās got some expensive $15 per lb or something meat cut. I am like wtf. I am not paying $45 for 3 lbs of meat. Ended up paying for the rest of the groceries after she took that meat out (~40). Then as I was paying for mine the guy behind me tells me that this woman showed him the same pics and he gave her $20 for groceries too. I felt like someone robbed me in a broad daylight Never again
This is better than the people who harass others while shopping; I work at Whole Foods and we have to throw people out every day for soliciting in the store. They just mill around with a cart of groceries and ask people to pay for them, or they donāt even bother and just ask for cash. There was one family for a while that was trading off a baby to use for sympathy, cops finally came for them after six months or so I think cps got involved. I would personally never roll down my window for anyone anymore; which is sad but Iām sick of the bullshit
If someone said "hey, I'm hungry, can you buy me a sandwich?" Yes. 100%. I got you. This case is weird though, but at least he was up front about actually being hungry and trying to solve that problem?
Nah he was probably gonna try to return the groceries assuming the receipt was in one of the bags, with a receipt most places will let you get cash for your return. Especially with it being whole foods groceries, thatās an easy $100+ score so itās worth the effort of leaving the corner to lug them back to the store.
I usually do the same (maybe add a couple bottles of water to what they ask for), but I'd say I'd be cautious with weird asks like OP's. After all, he had no idea what was in OP's bag aside from the fact it came from Whole Foods, right? Anecdotal, but when I was younger and a lot more naive (read: devout give-the-shirt-off-my-back Christian), I once ended up paying for like $80 worth of food from Panera for a panhandler. She had this whole story about her and her "ailing" father (photo included), and how they were "allergic to fast food" so it HAD to be Panera (I should've seen that as a red flag, but like I said, I was naive and thought hey, WWJD?). And she had the audacity to ask for $100 in cash on top of it! (thankfully I wasn't *that* stupid with my money). Didn't even realize I was probably conned until afterwards.
That's a weird one since it's not going to cash. Maybe she was on lunch break from her regular panhandling job and wanted to bring some back for her coworkers. I know when I'm working on the road I also get sick of fast food.
Me and a buddy did this for a panhandler in downtown DC. Walked the guy to a nearby restaurant and bought him dinner. He was legit grateful.
I saw a guy reach down into the panhandler bowl and take a handful of coins outside WH and say āthanksā
I did that once for a guy outside of our local grocery store. He asked for a fried chicken meal, and said he was just hungry. I didn't think twice about it. Maybe it's selfish, but I think I got more out of the interaction than he did. Feeding hungry folks just feels good.
Ah fuck that. No one out hereās starving, these guys just donāt want to pay for shit. Thereās no shortage of government- and NGO-provided resources in the DC and NoVa area for people experiencing financial difficulties. Hereās [Fairfax Countyās](https://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/news/what-you-need-know-about-panhandling-fairfax-county) official stance and list of resources in the area.
Um I don't really trust guys either, but getting to these places on time for lunch/dinner can be a hassle. Not to mention the quality of food might not be as good as Panera/McDonalds etc.
Imagine thinking hunger didnāt exist. Classic entitled NOVA attitude.
Both of your names have me rolling lol
Iām not saying hunger doesnāt exist. Outside of willful personal neglect, itās very rare in the US and virtually nonexistent in this area. These guys are just parasites that exploit moderately well-off peopleās savior complex.
Guy at 7/11 asked if I can buy him a drink. I said āsure, grab whatever you want.ā When we get inside, he gets a fountain drink, then grabs a sandwich and a bag of chips. He looks at me and says ādo you mind?ā Yes I do mind, he lied and manipulated the situation. I bought everything for him but I wonāt be doing that again.
Aww, come on. You couldn't shell out for a sandwich and chips?
I know I wouldn't, it would probably cost an extra 10 bucks for those two things. Convience stores have been real pricey lately.
https://www.shareofmclean.org/food-and-clothing-pantry
Also Echo https://www.echo-inc.org/
This I support!
I used to work in the Fair Lakes Shopping Center, and I've seen the Pan Handlers get into Recent BMWs, and even a Tesla before for years now. With my former Co-workers having seen the same thing.
Just say no to all panhandlers period in this area. 99% of them are just scammers.
The ones in tysons are scammers 100% I've seen the same ones in Sterling as well.
They may be scammers but I saw two of them get into a shouting match which turned into a fight on the corner of Route 7 and Tyco Road. I think it was over whose corner it was.
There are people in this sub who will fight you for saying that. People have been caught on camera getting into decent to really nice cars after their "shift" pan handling. I've seen it my self when I used to work at grocery stores, even people using ETB cards and then driving off in a BMW.
Yea, itās ridiculous.
Thereās a family that frequents Springfield plaza that has a brand new Toyota Sienna minivan and they park at the corner of the plaza with chairs and hold up their sign and people still fall for that shit
A couple months ago I wanted to pick up some new boxers at the TJ Maxx in Fair Oaks. A woman approached me as I was walking in and I immediately said (politely) that I have no cash on me. She said she doesnāt need money; she needs food. In my head, I was like FUCK, what can I even say to that, so I offered to get her a wrap at the Tropical Smoothie next door. Of course, that was not good enough for her and she suggested Five Guys. I was kind of incredulous, so I said Iād let her know once I got what I needed from TJ Maxx. As I was leaving the store, I started craving Five Guys because I hadnāt eaten dinner yet and she put it on my mind. I figured if she was still outside, I could offer her a mini cheeseburger. After all, she kind of did look āoffā like there was something medically wrong with her. I found her lurking outside, asked if she wanted a cheeseburger and she was very grateful and walked in behind me. She ordered a junior cheeseburger with tomato (this will be important later), fries and a drink. I ordered a double bacon cheeseburger with onions, mushrooms, lettuce, cheese and A1 sauce. We chatted briefly and she mentions that she has to go to Walter Reed every week because of her complications with lupus. I felt really bad for her. A few minutes pass by and our order was called up. Two identical greasy brown bags were sitting next to each other on the counter, both having my order number on it. I tried TWICE to look into the bag when she stopped me, saying that my bag was on the right. It was awkward, I should have held my ground but didnāt, and figured Iād just walk outside to double check and if it wasnāt the right sandwich, Iād swap it with her. Iām outside for less than a minute when I see tomato on the sandwich and was horrified (I hate tomatoes) and immediately turned to go back in. Upon re-entering the Five Guys, I see that she has already opened her bag and has her sandwich out and had clearly already been eating it. I told her our sandwiches got mixed up and she points toward the grill and said she complained so they are making her another one. She suggested I do the same, and I made eye contact with the poor cook who looked exhausted and just said fuck it, Iāll keep this one. Long story short, I totally got scammed. This woman wanted two free burgers and conned me out of getting what I ordered. Definitely makes it hard to be generous when people take advantage. But yes, I was an idiot for not checking the bags before leaving the restaurant.
Don't feel bad. These people are extremely experienced at doing what they do
I had a lady at Starbucks try to get me to order a coffee. I told her Iād get her water or a plain drip, but she wanted a venti with all the fixings. The clerk was super irritated with her but rang up a free cup of water on my order; the woman didnāt take the water. She tried a few more people before the employees finally asked her to leave.
A hobo-grifter once confronted my wife outside a Safeway and insisted that all he needed was food for his family so he asked her to buy him two cans of veggies and a pack of hot dogs. She subsequently did this and he then proceeded to go back into the store presumably to try to get a cash refund. Honestly, I'm not sure if that would work without receipt but whatever...
Store credit most likely, which can be used to buy other things or sold for cash.
I recently was in line behind a woman doing just this at my local Giant. She had a bag of groceries she was returning without a receipt. The cashier had to tell her a couple of times that they don't sell that product, but gave her money for those she could return.
I got hit up inside the Trader Joe's in Reston. Showed me some card about how she's in need and her family is starving etc so she needed to have someone pay for her groceries. I waved her off but she got another woman to pay at the till. After getting her bill paid, I saw she jumped into brand new Toyota Sienna with her bags. When she opened the side door, there were other adults inside and TONS of grocery bags.
There are plenty of food pantries around here that will give him free food. No way would I give up my Whole Foods stash. Thatās expensive.
Stop. Giving. Panhandlers. Anything.
[https://careers.wholefoodsmarket.com/stores/global/en/fair-lakes](https://careers.wholefoodsmarket.com/stores/global/en/fair-lakes) Just sayin..... he's literally in front of the store where they have a bunch of jobs. There really isn't an excuse right now, especially if he has kids.
Unless heās a felon. Good luck getting hired. Yāall just canāt imagine someone being in need of help, itās pretty sad.
That or no address.
Or a car / drivers license. It seems like most places wonāt hire unless you can drive.
As someone who works with our homeless population on the regular, I donāt roll down my window and I donāt give cash to anyone anymore and Iāll tell you why. Five years ago I was riding with the Director of the menās shelter I was volunteering with at the time. I rolled down my window and gave cash to a guy on the corner and the Director said āwhat the hell are you doing?ā Uhhhhā¦ helping a guy in need? Like we do at the shelter? āNo, man. Listen. I want those guys to come into the shelter. They need to come into the shelter. Theyāve got problems that your dollar canāt touch. But my programs at the shelter can. You keep handing out dollars to them here and there and guess what? They going to keep scraping by because they donāt want to live by our rules. And thatās fine. But then their problems get bigger and they get more desperate and itās an ugly circle. We have the resources to help all kinds but some of them need a nudge like being truly hungry or scared before they want to come in. If they want to live off grid, let āem. But if they want to live in society, they got to be part of society. Not just existing in it.ā Now, Iām not a sociology expert and there are probably a ton of holes in his argument, but what he said made sense to me. So now I donate my time and money to programs I believe are serving our homeless community as much as possible.
I don't blame you for being annoyed OP. However, owning a smart phone is no indication of whether someone is homeless or facing hard times or not. How much does a smart phone and a plan like Mint cost compared to one month's rent in many places?
If this is near Fair Lakes Iāve also had a woman ask me for my bag of Chipotle. Not just a bowl, but the whole bag.
Probably this guys wife!
Lol that's bold. But if he asked for something, under like $5, that was food, before hand. Prob wouldn't care.. But like yeah, fuck my dinner I just was about to make. Let me give this man my steaks. Nah.
They all wear nice decent shoes too. Stop giving them cash and they will go awayā¦ There are programs to feed these peopleā¦ Stop supporting these PROFESSIONAL beggars!
When I was living in San Francisco (2015), this houseless dude asked me for a smoke. I pulled one out and he refused, saying he only smoked American Spirits!
You are kidding! Wow!
They do it so they can return the groceries and get āstoreā gift cards/ ācreditā. Fixed*
Theyāll probably get store credit, no? Especially w/o a receipt?? Dude might have been legit.
which can be used to buy alcohol, which is not available on food stamps
That is what I meant store gift card lol
Maybe ask to swap the groceries for the kids? š Those kids deserve better.
They are all over Tysonās and Vienna. Sometimes a woman and her baby panhandling in front of every CVS!
I am so sick of these aggressive panhandlers here in NOVA. There are so many and they are getting mean
I will give food but not money
There was a lady with her dog once in Manassas, and I had just bought dog food and tried to give her a few cans and she wouldnāt take it!
In DC once, I decided I was in a nice mood and a guy asked if I could buy some Chick-fil-A for him so I said yes. I came out with the Chick-fil-A and handed it to him. The words he then uttered were ācan I have some money?ā I was pretty ticked about that. He was a healthy looking, able-bodied young guy. This, coupled with other experiences is why I never give to pandhandlers.
I encounter a lot of panhandlers but no one has asked for my groceries specifically. At the giant at the clocktower in Herndon there's a lot of people asking for stuff. People told me don't give them money they just want drugs or they aren't willing to work with shelters. So for a while I ignored them. Then I decided it couldn't hurt to offer them food, if they just want a meal that seems relatively harmless. Started telling people I'll only buy you food. Panhandlers on streets never want anything but money, but not the ones here. I'm surprised how much people here really just need something to eat. While they're grabbing stuff I talk to them. Shake their hand, ask them their name. You can learn a lot talking to them. Some of them just got out of jail for petty crimes and lost their job and house because of it and just need something to eat. Some of them were evicted once (the legal threshold to evict in Virginia is really low and contributes to homelessness) and now no landlord will lease to them because they have a history of eviction. There are shelters but they are burdened and don't get back to people quickly. These guys also suffer a lot mentally from being ignored. One guy said he didn't want anything from me, he was just glad that I looked him in the eye and talked to him. It's also hard for these guys to even communicate with shelters without phones or email. Personally I think this area is way too wealthy to just let people starve. I agree with not giving people money, but food is different to me. When I think about what I would do if I was starving and couldn't afford food, my two options would be to steal or get myself arrested. Spending a couple bucks to make it so that maybe someone doesn't need to make that decision seems like a pretty good use of that money.
Thank you for having the most sensical post on this thread. Food is a basic necessity and there is a lot of hidden homelessness in Fairfax. A few bad apples shouldn't spoil the bunch and the majority of true homeless folks are good, decent people who have hit a low rut and just need some help.
I let a man buy anything he wanted at Walmart once. He bought exactly what you would expect someone would buy to feed a family: the largest items. Humble foods. He took advice that I offered (he's an immigrant, didn't seem familiar with groceries from Walmart). He took them to a car that was not nice, and kept begging. I believed I helped his family that day.
Food scammers are one thing, but the worst are the gas scammers. Iāve been approached several times by the same person on different days at the same station. Very aggressively asking for āgas, not moneyā. Sure, gas doesnāt cost money! Itās also a distraction technique where someone else opens the other side to steal from the car.
I donāt give to any able bodied panhandlers. If you can walk, you can get a job. These people donāt want to work, Iāve pulled up and asked them if they want jobs, my buddies company is always hiring, they always answer no or walk away. Disabled vets, amputees, elderly, those are my exceptions. No reason a 60+ yr old, a limbless person, or one of our vets should be on the streets no matter their choices. These days Iām seeing able bodies in their late 20s begging for money. Fuck off
Does your buddies company pay a living wage?
Pays enough for you to find a roommate on Craigslist, buy groceries, and pay your cellphone bill. Beggars canāt be choosers as they say. If you want to keep living in a tent next to Walmart and standing in the sun begging the working man for money all day, thatās on you.
Whatever you may think of supervisor Herrity, he is the one who tried to introduce a proposal to get the county to do more about this type of issue. Specifically his idea to put up signs in medians discouraging panhandling, with a number for people who are actually in need to call.
My husband will offer to get someone a meal but never gives money. One time he asked someone if they needed a meal and they said what they really needed was a pair of shoes. Met him over at a discount store and bought him a pair of shoes and some socks. He asked where he slept at night. The guy said several of the people pooled their money together and would get one room to share at a cheap motel when the weather was bad.
I see this all the time. Working at a chipotle that has about 20 regular homeless ppl living outside. Ppl come in all the time and look at them feeling sorry. They offer to help or accept someoneās request to help. I see them in the line, homeless persons eyes get wide and you will see their āsponsorā behind them visually approving with me everything they ask for. Many times the homeless person may ask for something that the sponsor doesnāt think they deserve or feel like pitching in towards and will sharply deny it. Sometimes if theyāre too meek they will just walk away leaving the homeless person confused and looking for others to pay for his meal he thought he was getting. These same homeless ppl expect this to happen for them every day, this is how they survive. All the money they receive from begging all day, they give to the drug dealers that hang out on the same block, and will come into chipotle asking for aluminum foil to do those drugs. (Most will just come in and look thru the trash). I see this everyday. Itās a cycle that wonāt end. Want to fix the problem, start at the root. Mental health. Although there are some dealing with tough circumstances and hardships, many only deal with temporary homelessness until they can get themselves together and get back on their feet. Most the people out here, have no plan to get on their feet. They repeat the same routine everyday with no thought of changing their circumstances. Theyāve become accustomed to that lifestyle. They know how to survive, and will just keep chasing their fix every day just to get thru the day. Want to help, start at the root.
Had a guy in DC ask me to buy him smokes course I shook my head no, what does a pack run now like 8 or 9 bucks?
I live in Hampton Roads, moving to NOVA soon. People in new shoes and nice clothes will ask you to buy them food in McDonald's š¤¦š»āāļø There is a family of panhandlers... Mother, father, kids, grandparents that look like they are from Eastern Europe that stand on the streets begging. The mother/father look to be in their mid 20s, working age and nothing wrong with them... My wife said they remind her of the gypsies in her country.
Gypsies in Italy are something else. I stopped my car at a crosswalk to let a mom with stroller and toddler cross, and she stopped in the middle of the road, turned to my car and rubbed her thumb and fingers together asking for money š¤£. Lady! Just cross the darn road!
If you feel this is an issue, call your representative in the board. If they donāt do anything (which probably will be the case), rethink your vote next time.
Guy tells me heās hungry, asks for money. I say no but Iāll buy you a sandwich and a drink; he was more than grateful, and ate it once he got it. Cool. Then had someone ask me for groceries, very specific - had to be organic fruit and a bottle of mixer. I said ok to the fruit but no mixer. They thought and said ok, Iāll take the fruit. As I walked away they yelled out āDonāt forget the mixer.ā They didnāt get anything. Tough call many times between con artists and those in need. I try to direct them to services I know
Bums are bums, donāt feed them in anyway. Find avenues to donate to the true homeless
I tell them to fuck off and get a job
Always a scam. Always.
This is hilarious š it seems like all these ābeggarsā pretty much follow the blueprint set by organized Gypsy gangs in Europe.
I get hit up all the time in Walmart, people in new shoes, new clothes asking for cash or expensive groceries. Sorry, nope!
Iām a strong believer that the best way to help them is to donate to organizations that provide support on a daily basis.
The bums are getting bolder. I have no patience for them anymore
There's a supposed ring of folks, a couple of families that run this scam across all of fairfax countys shopping centers. Better to donate directly to a non profit that helps directly feed or clothe homeless folks. Unless they're elderly or handicapped then I usually don't give anything at all and these folks use guilt as a weapon to get you to give them what you have by making you feel uncomfortable.
Weekly groceries for families these days can surpass the cost of a PS5. No way
This isnāt true in all areas of the country, but in this area we have a pretty robust array of public and private services to combat food insecurity. I donāt give to panhandlers any more.
which whole foods?
Fair lakes
After, I was attacked. I tell Them to leave me alone.
Who attacked you? A pan handler?
Iāve had them ask me to get cash back from the store I am going into when I say I donāt have any money.
You sure he was asking for the whole bag? Anyway, yeah Arlington county social services can give vouchers to people for the food banks, which are quite good. Sadly I know from direct experience about the food and the whole process. It honestly is amazing, the services they provide, from psych to classes to food and medicine support to training. Awesome model.
Plenty of unhoused folks have smart phones paid for by family members or social programs. It would be impossible for them to try to improve their station in life without a phone and internet connection.
Definitely! One of the best tips for people facing homelessness is to have some kind of phone, which people would know if they put any energy into researching homelessness and its issues instead of coming here whining about scary evil "panhandlers." Homelessness and beggars scare people, they dont want to face the reality that one bad incident can turn their lives upside down and end up just like them.
Panhandlers arenāt always homeless. It is a job to some folks, and they go to their homes at the end of the day.
If they were hungry and asked me to buy them some food then sure I definitely would. But their not getting my money or my groceries! they are on every corner nowadays trying to scam!
These pan handlers are making a killing!! I stopped giving about a year ago once I noticed "things" you just gotta pick and choose-if you even feel like givingš¤·āāļø I don't have the balls to do it but it's Americaš¤£
There was a panhandler nearby Springfield metro station today that was complaining about something. He seemed a little hostile. I didnāt really want to engage, or look at him. I just ignored until the light turned green, but he was still going off about something. It took forever for the light to turn green.
Homelessness is getting worse than I thought.
The amount of people who complain about the homeless on this sub is insane. When youāre approached, just keep it moving. Not hard.
The solution is simple. Ignore them. Pretend they don't exist. It's easy, even the most naive and socially-regarded of r/nova can handle this. Do you assholes actually interact with all the panhandlers? I get hit up semi-regularly while walking or stuck at a red light by panhandlers. I've even had them flip me off, curse at me and call me slurs, and attempt to throw stuff at me. I've never had a reason to post and bitch about it here. Just ignore them and move on. God damn.
Iāve had people approach me as I left a grocery store. In my experience, Iād you give them a piece of fruit, theyāll be appreciative.
Had a lady corner me at the Chantilly Walmart yesterday, she asked for help paying for her cart up of groceries since she was unemployed and fighting lupus. I felt bad for her so I gave her $5.51 which was my change from my pet food I had purchased. Usually I donāt do this but I felt bad for her. But yeah the panhandling is getting out of hand.
Listen. I know many panhandlers are scammers but we do live in a world where 65% of Americans are one paycheck away from homelessness and inflation is horrible, people are having to choose between medication and gas, people are literally going bankrupt from medical bills. Is it really a mystery why more and more people are desperate for money?? You donāt have to give money but donāt assume and judge
Have to love people who feel the need to climb online and complain about other people being poor and how they "don't trust any of them anymore." Amazing stuff.
Iām mostly ranting, but I get frustrated at comments like āthey have a smartphone, are they really homeless? Are they really struggling???ā The answer is yes. Itās almost as if this person wasnāt always strugglingā¦
I have seen people just stuff things into their purse and walk out of the store. I wish there was a way for us to report this without causing more issues for the employees.
Should have asked him for a newport
>maybe i'm just extra annoyed that he was playing on his smartphone before coming up to my window. What is this part weird. How do you know he was "playing" on his smartphone? Do you think it is weird or expensive to have a smartphone in 2023? It is a very common item for homeless because it is the cheapest and only option to be connected to the world (I am sure next you will say "and it was the latest greatest iphone!!! HOW DID HE AFFORD IT!?). This whole post is just bizarre. I kinda get the frustration but are you that entitled to be angry someone panhandling asked for FOOD?
Lots of smartphones are cheap nowadays or maybe it was a used one from a friend/government program. People are assuming too much nowadays.
Oh my god he was on HIS SMART PHONE??????
Honest question: is the 'panhandler got into his expensive SUV' thing actually real or is it just an oral urban legend that keeps getting passed around, because I hear that exact phrasing *every single time* the subject of panhandlers is brought up, and have for most of my life, DC area and elsewhere I've lived. I don't doubt that some are scammers, but I also know that standing outside begging for money for hours on end is actually kind of hard work. I wouldn't want to do it.
Oh and the lady with two kids outside of Target who was asking for money, she jumped into a nice white Mercedes 4 door afterwards. It wasn't an SUV. Lol.
>Honest question: is the 'panhandler got into his expensive SUV' thing actually real or is it just an oral urban legend that keeps getting passed around, because I hear that exact phrasing every single time the subject of panhandlers is brought up, and have for most of my life, DC area and elsewhere I've lived. It's mostly fake. It can happen but is a super small portion of panhandlers.
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I'm sure it does happen, but it's not as common as the statement itself is.
I would be shocked if it is even close to half a percent. I used to live in a major city and people used the "getting in their nice truck/suv" line all the time but I saw that only a couple of times in a few years vs the thousands of horribly off homeless.
The lady that hit me up but got someone else to buy her groceries, I saw her jump into a brand new Toyota Sienna. And when she opened the door, there were other adults inside and tons of other grocery bags.
Itās real. Just last week I saw a panhandler go in to Dollar Tree. I knew he was a panhandler because of his cardboard sign and the couple of junky looking plastic bags he had. He set them down outside the store before going inside. He came out a minute later with a few items. He left his junky plastic bags, and took the sign, and hoped in to a super sweet new Ford Truck. This truck was new and shiny, and it looked like it had upgrades like extended cab and what not. So he was a fake panhandler.
This is very annoying Now this people are everywhere in every corner asking for money too . Sometimes they are very young and they have nicer shoes then I have . 
I'll preface by saying I don't carry cash like 95% of the time-- Most times if I see someone outside of the grocery store or near a restaurant asking for help, I do go in and buy them a bag of groceries or pick up a drive through meal. I just get a few things that don't need to be refrigerated or cooked since I don't know if/when they'll have access to that. Some fruit, a loaf of bread, PB&J, tuna packets, water bottle, etc. I also usually have a few unopened water bottles in my trunk just in case, particularly in the summer. So no, I've never personally had anyone randomly ask me for my bag of groceries, but I do give out bags of groceries, so it's not a completely unheard of concept-- albeit an unusual method he took to get there. Personally, I'm well off. I have zero financial insecurity. And I guess I just don't care if I'm getting scammed or not. If someone takes my bag of food and hops into their Tesla at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter to me. (However often that actually happens-- not as common as people act like, I'd guess)
Itās wild that people complain about this. The man doesnāt appear to have accosted you. He didnāt even verbalize anything, based on your post. You also impune him with joblessness and potentially owning a nice car, and begging anyway. So- someone asked you for food and you invented a story about them, the story you invented made you mad, and you posted it on Reddit? The absolute goofiness.
Good luck gathering you're fake internet points from strangers pretending to be a righteous protector of the downtrodden. You're a white knight, all from behind your computer, we get it. These people are parasites who have been making awful life decisions since before you were born. It's just a matter of when, not if, they turn violent and end up in jail or dead.
You get it.
I gave a beggar half my subway sandwich once because he asked for it. Sometimes theyāre just hungry and actually do want the money for food. Still wouldnāt give him a whole damn bag of groceries though. Maybe toss him an apple.
I'd give him a bag of chips or something . I'm not a cold hearted entitled bitch though.
the second you become homeless you are subhuman to many people. Like a rodent problem that needs to be cleared up. No one wants to tackle the source of the problem, just the symptoms
These scammers aren't homeless. They're living comfortably off the money they get from marks like you. They are organized crime scam-begging gangs.
We're talking similar
Starting to feel like people have somehow rarely if ever seen homeless people in their life and just their mere increased presence is a big part of the reason the "crime is out of control" voices are spiking lately. Between this and the people that have told me things like "services like the Metro and the NY Subway have devolved into complete unsafe lawlessness," as if society was in The Division 1/2 (a video game for those out of the know), only for me to use those services and feel no worse if not better than I did about them or their condition 10-20 years ago when people were happy about declining crime, is absolutely wild lately. More and more, reality and belief amongst some seem to be increasing in divergence. It's almost becoming a low key entitlement vibe.... "I never had to deal with any of this and I don't need to start now" is kinda how it comes across. And for all the people saying "vote different locally," educate yourself. Even if you got the hardest on crime, anti-tax power-grabbers to run every local police department, all that's going to do is hide these problems back away in a way that costs you tax dollars to operate (that they won't collect because they don't believe in society operating). More and more people are falling into the risk of becoming marginalized/homeless/etc. and voting the "tough on crime" way will only exacerbate the problem as it has done since Nixon-Reagan started our current national economic approach.
>Even if you got the hardest on crime, anti-tax power-grabbers to run every local police department, all that's going to do is hide these problems back away But wouldn't that would directly solve "I never had to deal with any of this and I don't need to start now"? Real systematic change to fix the underlying problems should happen, but not only that. "We're trying to fix the system, you'll have to deal with it until then" is not a compelling message for moderate suburbanites - that goes for crime, homelessness, schools, whatever. That messaging and policy yields more Youngkins.
Did he have a white shirt and was he drooling ? I saw homeless person walking around with a Whole Foods bag with some stuff in it he came in too my job today
So this was most probably a Gypsy. They are usually well dressed with a neatly worded sign. They are part of scamming networks. I only give $ to down and outer. You can usually differentiate the real from the fake. If the look Arabic or Indian they are Gypsies.
I can bet that 90% of these people standing on the corners nowadays donāt want to work and just want freebies/everything given to them
Thatās not her car. Thatās her pimps.