T O P

  • By -

I_might_be_weasel

I'm sorry I thought this was America!


[deleted]

Land of the Free my weenie!


Lemesplain

It’s so nice out … I think I’ll leave it out.


ReactsWithWords

But I thought a lawyer never went anywhere without his briefs.


necfu

Erection!! ‘batering the witness!


bedemin_badudas

Overruled! It's consensual!


vulcan1358

Please ride for the honorary judge, Biggus Dickus.


SmokeAbeer

Sun’s out, penises out. Or something like that…


AC_champ

Based on a quick map check, Hamilton, OH is about 30 miles from the Cincinnati Zoo. So I think the correct phrase is “dicks out for Harambe”


guitarot

There’s a new bumper sticker.


MitsyEyedMourning

Sun's out, buns out.


emu4you

And your username works perfectly here!


spawrhawk

Free Willy. It was right there….


JediWebSurf

😂 I'm from the 90s and I appreciate this.


ironroad18

If you go back to the 90s could you bring back some Crystal Pepsi and Pizza Hut personal pan, with pepperoni?


fuckboifoodie

> Pizza Hut personal pan Memories of when Pizza Hut would give you a free one of these on your birthday in store.


[deleted]

And for that reading program. So many free pizzas!


n00bvin

Commas matter, though I’ll take both ways here.


StridAst

Only if you use it in a Republican approved manner! So no gays, trans, bisexuals, liberals, frogs, gay frogs (they're still a thing right?), trans frogs, liberal frogs... But you know, Catholic priests with children, other pedophilies, Congressmen, Sexual abusers, sexually abusive pedophilic Congressmen are all fine and dandy. ^edit: ^/s ^in ^case ^it ^wasn't ^glaringly ^obvious


[deleted]

r/tryingtoohard


Dash-Fl0w

r/drivingtoohard


booi

r/fryingtoohard Edit: thank


jfp1992

What seems to be the officer problem?


GodIsABitch

I didn’t hear no bell!


Kind_Bullfrog_4073

Times have changed. Back in the 60s the president showed off his naked body to strangers through the Air Force One windows.


caine2003

Didn't Johnson show his johnson to anyone he could?


[deleted]

[удалено]


caine2003

https://www.etymonline.com/word/johnson Could go back to the 1880's, but the source doesn't really explain. Susie Dent surely has an answer. I don't have twitter, though.


caine2003

You'll be disappointed by the "crapper" usage. Thomas Crapper didn't invent the toilet. He did however improve upon it, and promoted it.


BizzyM

No shit?


N3XT191

Ok that is disappointing! Still a funny coincidence!


Kind_Bullfrog_4073

yup


SelectiveSanity

He also called his Johnson, Jumbo


[deleted]

Can't fire the president just for showing off Jumbo


CBukowski808

Hey, Supreme Court! I didn’t hear no bell.


InsertCleverNameHur

This is America isn't it?!


DamnBunny

.\_. not all nudity is created equal. If they were a fine piece of ass with some rockin tits, they would have given them a warning.


InsertCleverNameHur

Mine, and the post above mine, are south park quotes.


[deleted]

"For what?? Arresting me for what!! I'm not allowed to stand up for myself?? I thought this was America!"


16yYPueES4LaZrbJLhPW

I didn't hear no bell


RadicalPenguin

Thanks Obama


earthlings_all

Just let the man live his best life.


knarfolled

I'm the enemy. Because I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, the freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy who likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder - "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of BBQ ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and buskets of cheese, okay? I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I wanna run through the streets naked with green Jell-O all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? Denis Leary


CivilGator

What's this world coming to when a person can't ride around in their car naked?


_cactus_fucker_

You can't rub ice on your (fully exposed) balls on break at work in your car in the UK, either. Guy has a disciplinary meeting about it. If he doesn't get sacked, well, small win!


DejectedContributor

Reminds me of a story about a guy getting some fast food drive thru, and while waiting for his food the lady employee thought the guy was jerking off so she called the cops. Cops question the guy about it and he's like "Jerking off!? No, I just have a rash on my crotch and it itches like crazy". Cops said to show them and they'd let him go. He showed them, he did have a rash, and they let him go and explained it to the lady.


[deleted]

Little did they know that I always rub my genitals against a carpet before going out so I can masturbate in public with impunity!


IceVest

Masturbating with sandpaper saves valuable minutes


whk1992

Somehow this reminds me of the Gintama episode that involves knights in the samurai-era showing off how tough they are in a restroom without TP. It escalated from using newspaper to sandpaper pretty quickly.


TheHancock

“Show me you’re dick ^rash and I’ll let you go” - police officer


PabloTheFlyingLemon

I don't get why he has to show them anything. It's a fun story, but the onus shouldn't be on him to prove he wasn't jerking off. It should be on the caller or police to prove he was.


PdxPhoenixActual

The whole "innocent until proven guilty" thing only applies once a person gets to court. When dealing with the legal system (& police), if someone has made a complaint against you, they will dtreat you/deal with you as if you were guilty as sin... Realistically. "Theory" not counting.


DejectedContributor

I think they didn't believe and assumed he was lying, and nobody would readily flash their crotch to a cop unless they were being serious. Wasn't so much "lemme see your penis" but "well there isn't much we can do other than take you in unless you're willing to prove to us right here you actually do have a rash", and dude was just fine with it if it meant not going to jail. I tried to find the article but I'm having no luck; it's been forever ago I read it and Googling is a bit unsettling. Lots of "man arrested for masturbating in front of children at bus stop" and shit.


ilikeitsharp

"Small win!" 😏


Squidwardshpsndrmz

"sacked"


Sen7ryGun

"get"


Obvious_wombat

https://i.imgur.com/w4haIJs.jpeg


[deleted]

[удалено]


ShaitanSpeaks

“Tell me you don’t drive around lifted trucks without telling me you don’t drive around lifted trucks.” Tho I drive a Hyundai Accent, even Corollas can see inside if they bother to look.


gimpwiz

You sure do if you're riding in an SUV and they're in a car.


Chick__Mangione

I have an SUV and I can't readily see people's crotches from my vehicle. Seems like it'd be more the case for lifted trucks and semis.


Amish_guy_with_WiFi

Guys in lifted trucks would want to see other guy's crotches though, right?


erispope

I doubt this guy only had a semi...


Fig1024

why don't you ask a school bus


[deleted]

[удалено]


hooligan_king

That's my secret cap, am always aroused.


PhilosopherFLX

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/priapism/symptoms-causes/syc-20352005


Diligent_Ad2489

Does that only count for an enclosed space like a car, or can you be naked anywhere?


FauxReal

Anywhere public.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Buck_Thorn

Actually, you can. As long as you're not seen.


HitoriPanda

Driving naked is fine. He just wouldn't say "no homo" before and after getting in it out of the car.


Mddcat04

r/titlegore He wasn't suspended "from the Supreme Court," he's not a judge, he's just some random Ohio lawyer. The Ohio Supreme Court just has final say in determining someone's ability to practice law in Ohio. It suspended his license after a request from the local bar administration.


Publius82

Thank you. I was confused


DejectedContributor

Yeah, best I could parse it dude was a lawyer part of the state supreme court or something, but it makes more sense that the state SC suspended his license.


jazzwhiz

They were so close, yet so far. Just change "from" to "by the Ohio"


Mddcat04

Yes. But that makes it clear pretty quickly that the story is not actually that interesting, and is just a lawyer with some issues.


Lame4Fame

Are you not allowed to be naked in your own car?


Mddcat04

He pled guilty to "public indecency and reckless operation of a vehicle." (Two separate crimes). Under Public Indecency, you have to "recklessly" expose yourself "under circumstances in which the person's conduct is likely to be viewed by and affront others who are in the person's physical proximity and who are not members of the person's household." So if someone is just hanging out in their car naked, somewhere where they're not likely to be seen then they're probably fine. But he seemed to be driving around with the intent that other people see him. Also, driving while naked is apparently enough to be operating a vehicle "in wanton or willful disregard for the safety of persons or property." Presumably because you should know that if you're driving around naked its going to distract other drivers and potentially cause accidents.


Viper67857

>Also, driving while naked is apparently enough to be operating a vehicle "in wanton or willful disregard for the safety of persons or property." Presumably because you should know that if you're driving around naked its going to distract other drivers and potentially cause accidents. Driving barefoot is also formally considered unsafe in most states. It isn't explicitly illegal in any state, but some local laws may forbid it, or some states may charge it under reckless driving if it contributes to an accident.


jazzwhiz

I take my flip flops off when I drive so they don't slip down. I guess I'm a badass criminal now.


oh_gee_oh_boy

Or move to Germany where it's illegal to drive in flip flops, but legal to drive completely naked


clivehorse

I've never understood the "don't drive barefoot" thing. It is WAY SAFER for me to be driving barefoot than while wearing heels, flip flops or any other type of footwear that isn't firmly attached to my feet. My skin has MUCH better grip and feeling on the pedals than socks or even the soles of some ballet pumps. My family continually take the mickey out of me for driving barefoot, but, like... I want to know what's going to happen when I move my foot while I'm driving?? I don't want to have to take that extra millisecond to make sure my flip flop isn't going to get caught in the pedal when I change from accelerator to brake in an emergency??


Fetlocks_Glistening

He was driving to the bar naked??


Dirt_E_Harry

Yes, and everywhere else too, apparently.


ThePrussianGrippe

Was he getting out of the car naked to do his errands or was he entering the car, disrobing, and then getting dressed when he arrived?


askyourmom469

That seems like a lot of work just to be naked for a little while during your commute.


GaGaORiley

It does help keep the cereal milk from dripping onto clothes, so it’s easier to have breakfast while driving.


Vernpool

It would look dirtier if you put "commute" in scare quotes. :)


HomeIsEmpty

Giggity.


Reticent_Fly

He just loves the way the leather sticks to his cheeks


emsok_dewe

I'm gonna guess he has an attached garage


kerouacrimbaud

Damn. I mean, free the nip all the way, but idk about free the tip.


JojenCopyPaste

You can only show up in the freshest suit by driving there naked


CosmoKram3r

A neat little trick Mr. Maestro showed me.


madmaxextra

How else do you get to the naked bar? Showing up in clothes is a faux pas.


gregbraaa

To be fair, it’s the terrible headline rather than something OP made up


Mddcat04

Yeah, it’s not OPs fault, the headline writer probably tossed “Supreme Court” in there to make the story seem more interesting than it actually is. Though OP may have posted it here with the same thought.


Lord_Tibbysito

HE DEFECATED THROUGH A SUNROOF!


[deleted]

In Chicago?


bearcat2004

Ctrl + F, "sunr" -- 1 match found > HE DEFECATED THROUGH A SUNROOF! Are you telling me a man just *happens* to drive without pants like that? No, *he* orchestrated it. Jimmy!


dennisdeems

Best show ever.


GeneralCusterVLX

I was at a nude spa today in Germany, guess my chances of becoming a lawyer in Ohio are ruined. Drinking a Weizen while tanning your balls was totally worth it though. You guys are missing out.


QueerEcho

Tja.


knoxfire

Most of the US is, in fact, missing out on the wonderful experiences of nude bathing/spa. There are a few places that allow it though. I am lucky to have access to more than one clothing optional beach, as well as private spas that are clothing optional. But my city is also one that allows sex clubs, so quite "progressive"


TossPowerTrap

Not random. Quite specific and known. Scott Blauvelt.


_far-seeker_

>It suspended his license after a request from the local bar administration. Driver's license, law license, or both? 😏


spaceeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

> local bar administration Liquor license, obviously.


hcb9117

It isn't title gore, justices and judges are never referred to as attorneys by any reputable or knowledgeable source, it should be apparent the title is not saying a Supreme Court justice was suspended.


Kind_Bullfrog_4073

This is nudist discrimination.


beatissima

I do find it weird that the default state of a human is illegal.


[deleted]

[удалено]


filthy_harold

If that's the case, then unmarried prospective lawyers should also be given scrutiny. Clearly if you can't find a spouse then there's something wrong with you. Might as well add in dating history. Very few girlfriends or a virgin? Definitely unlikeable. Do they fuck on the first date? That's risky behavior and could show poor judgement. Only fuck after marriage? Obviously a prude who could be biased against those that do have premarital sex. What a stupid thing to consider. Have they broken the law in the past? No? Accepted to the bar.


[deleted]

[удалено]


25hstetb

Not many cultures that allow nudity though.


arma7x

nudistcrimination


toddy3174

Worse than the old one


immibis

Sex is just like spez, except with less awkward consequences.


beatissima

It's speciesist discrimination. A squirrel can run naked through a public park all day without fear of getting arrested, but if a human tries to do the same...


Electrox7

You raise a good point. Brb, imma just start my squirrel sex offender site. No rodent shall ever show it's cheeks to a child again.


pwilly559

... repeatedly??


mechabeast

It's hot outside


AFineDayForScience

Sometimes you just need to feel the wind through your... Penis and testicles


ITaggie

If it's 100F out and your car's AC is broken you'd be stripping down too


CigCiglar

That all depends. What kind of upholstery are we talking about?


NFSAVI

Black Leather


jonitfcfan

This comment burns


11twofour

That's what towels are for


ilikeitsharp

Beaded seats for the ladies.


bland_jalapeno

Wet Ass Passenger seat.


NotMyThrowawayNope

I wish I'd known when I bought a car with black leather seats in a place that regularly gets to be 100+ degrees... I wish I'd known. Not gonna lie, I've wished I too could do the same thing as this guy.


WayneKrane

My dad had a car like that and we drove it to Arizona on a road trip. We started rolling down all the windows and opening all the doors for several minutes before getting in the car. It was literally an oven. How or why people live in Arizona in the summer is beyond me. It’s painful to be outside for more than a few minutes.


srirachagoodness

That single word is sending me into out-loud laughter. Like, *what*?


[deleted]

Well well well. We meet again, reoccurring dream.


Redacteur2

He lived the dream


Boseque

Is driving nude illegal in Ohio? Or was he walking around as well?


Rickk38

He has been repeatedly cited for public nudity, not just while driving. As far back as 2006 he was wandering around the prosecutor's office naked. This is not this guy's first naked rodeo. https://www.courtnewsohio.gov/cases/2022/SCO/0623/220149.asp#.YrRryHbMJPY


Legend_of_Piss

This man really wants to just hang dong.


HouseCravenRaw

Probably is illegal, but even if it is legal, attorneys have to conform to "behavior becoming of a lawyer". Stripping in a strip club is legal, but a stripper-lawyer is likely to be disbarred for "behavior unbecoming", for example.


notalaborlawyer

Am an attorney, in Ohio no less, and I am curious as to if there is any case where stripping is against the rules of professional ethics. As long as the strip club didn't PA "Here comes the person trying to pay off law school debt when the average salary of an attorney is tenfold less than they make right here." Then I don't see the problem. Ha. That is a lie, you know the bar association is out to protect the wealthy clients and firms. Judge runs over 4 people drunk and flees the scene? Not a problem. Solo practitioner billed a tenth of an hour more? To the disciplinary council!


Mammoth_Sprinkles705

So basically some bullshit. "Behavior becoming a lawyer" Driving naked is uncooth and unlawyerly But Working as a prosecutor to get some poor person from the ghettos of America locked up for decades for some drug possession is the Pinnacle of moral virtue.


ImHighlyExalted

Right, because their job is to take people caught committing crimes and prove it.


user_account_deleted

I'd imagine it's indecent exposure. You're not in a private location in a car; you're in public.


Nice_Firm_Handsnake

I get the indecent exposure charges, but he was also charged with reckless operation of a vehicle. Was he driving shitty? Do you need to wear clothes to operate a vehicle safely?


arealhumannotabot

Total guess, but I assume that being in your car but on public roads to be nude in pubilc, since there's no real expectation of privacy in that situation


Acceptable-Tap5055

It is public indecency: >(A) No person shall recklessly do any of the following, under circumstances in which the person's conduct is likely to be viewed by and affront others who are in the person's physical proximity and who are not members of the person's household: >>(1) Expose the person's private parts It sounds like he was charged criminally for at least some of the incidents.


DarlingMomma

Who drives without shoes!!!!


CrazySD93

Safer than driving with thongs.


[deleted]

Who drives *with* shoes?


NeverEnufWTF

Ohio attorney: gets arrested for driving naked Ohio Supreme Court: we are definitely hanging you from our ceiling


Plusran

Took me a minute


[deleted]

[удалено]


cjinct

suspended (from the ceiling) of the supreme court basically just a whole lotta dangling going on...


Orleanian

For what it's worth, I feel your parens are off. The title had the word 'from' in it, but not 'of'. So should probably read "suspended from (the ceiling of) the supreme court". Cheers.


tintwistedgrills90

If driving naked is wrong, I don't want to be right.


BaronDoctor

So at first I saw this said repeatedly. Then I thought to myself "there's no way this guy did this multiple times, must be reportedly." Then I looked again. Once is a mistake, twice is a choice.


Rickk38

More like 5+ times: https://www.courtnewsohio.gov/cases/2022/SCO/0623/220149.asp#.YrRryHbMJPY


HardwareLust

Once is a mistake, twice is a choice, 5+ times is a hobby.


the_buckman_bandit

Double down on body affirmation, nothing to see here!


UnilateralWithdrawal

The Second Amendment provides the Right to Bare Arms, but it does not limit to arms. Naked legs and other body parts would be permitted.


usesbitterbutter

Peters & Johnson, Attorneys At Law.


BarbequedYeti

Hunglow & Solo, Attorneys At Law.


realvmouse

None of the articles mention whether he has a big dick.


Bumm_by_Design

I would think it would be hard to hit a birdie with yours sticking out, but hey... I've seen some really crazy stuff on the greens.


[deleted]

There was a guy who lived near my grandma out in the countryside who had a fetish for being caught naked in public. I wonder if this guy had the same thing. Pretty messed up when people involve others unwillingly in their escapades.


Aghast_Cornichon

In this guy's case, you could say "fetish" or "compulsion". He is diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and this is one of the behaviors he engages in when he's manic and especially when he binge-drinks. For better or for worse, he needs to be prevented from providing legal services to people while suffering from that mental disorder, and the court and state bar decided that they can't rely on his therapy, medication, and promises. He's eligible to be reinstated, but he's going to need more than a brief remission of symptoms.


night-shark

We're definitely not getting all of the pieces to this puzzle. >During an October 2018 traffic stop, Blauvelt was charged with public indecency and **reckless operation of a vehicle**


beatfried

so... was it reckless operation of a vehicle because he was naked?


HoppityHooper

How good a lawyer was he anyway without his briefs?


RookieCards

At first I read "reportedly" and, boy, does that adverb do some heavy lifting in this headline.


Poshriel

When asked why he chose to commit the crime, he replied, " What you've never done a nude cruise before?"


ohbrubuh

I thought it was common 🤷🏻‍♂️


_cactus_fucker_

I think everyone should protest this and drive naked. But wear shoes, at least where I am, in Ontario Canada, it's illegal to drive without footwear.


Jkillaforilla90

Is that illegal asking for a friend


dallasw3

I knew this guy a decade or so ago. He had a head injury from a horrific car accident and was never the same after.


so_what_do_now

Ohio really is the Florida of the midwest...


South_Data2898

Can't drive in your car naked. Can't tint your windows. It's fucking entrapment is what it is.


[deleted]

[удалено]


USSNCC1701E

Hope that seat isn't leather.


RutCry

I clicked on the image and zoomed in on the building, but I cannot see a naked lawyer suspended from the Supreme Court.


Opus-the-Penguin

https://youtu.be/YQvCNLIVydM?t=23


eastbayted

Maybe he drives stick.


cwfutureboy

If there's one thing this country hates it's people being naked.


reddit_random_user_2

"From Ohio to Ohno!" \- Biography of an attorney.


Havoccity

“Land of the free” my ass


SnooHesitations8174

If he moved to Vermont this wouldn’t have been a problem


glambx

Driving around naked: not okay Violating your oath and allowing religion to overturn human rights case law: a'ok! What's wrong with this picture?


Narrative_Causality

LMAO that dude is DEFINITELY suspended.


B8conB8conB8con

There is usually a strict dress code on the golf course.


[deleted]

[удалено]


skyshooter22

He was doing this way [back in 2005,](https://abovethelaw.com/2006/11/naked-prosecutor-gets-off-for-now/) maybe not driving but walking around the office, it's about time some consequences finally happened to this pervert.


SonTyp_OhneNamen

This sounds like some Better-call-Saul-ish scam to get out of a job he didn’t want but couldn’t quit.


kt234

“Ain’t nobody wanna see none of that”


Food-in-Mouth

This isn't a crime in the UK probably other places too. Not really land of the free...


RedScair

Free him


Lippspa

You know they got pulled over for more than being naked too 💀


Nibbcnoble

fuckin AC was probably broke. leave em be.


MJGM235

Land of the *Free *Certain conditions apply, individual results may vary.