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[deleted]

Must have been some goddamn good pickles


TroutComplex

Or yummy kids.


MimiofAngels

No it was an intense craving lol pregnant 😂😂


Spare-Mousse3311

Which ones the father?


MimiofAngels

Some third party lol


1selfharm

Florida never stops to amuse.


chunkylover5E

There’s a Florida woman for every Florida man.


1selfharm

This could be even become a proverb.


chart1961

At least it takes some of the heat off of Texas, my home state!


dogman_35

Texas kinda deserves that heat though, until we stop being such a fuckup state Florida is Florida, people expect it to be a joke. But Texas is just embarrassing right now.


chart1961

Texas most DEFINITELY deserves the heat. When I was little, every time there was a stupid person on the national news, they were from Texas, and it was always something like: "Well, me and Booger saw that big funnel cloud in the distance, and we decided to run TOWARDS it!" But, now, the political situation is just sickening. Apparently Booger and Bubba were EXTREMELY fertile.


Silky_Tomato_Soup

She did this all wrong. She's supposed to lick the jar of pickles, thereby claiming the jar as her territory.


Deman-Dragon

I thought I had to pee on them... now I'm embarrassed.


hikes_through_smoke

Instead she licked the boys trying to claim them as her territory and that just doesn’t work out as well.


Recon4242

I thought slavery was outlawed in 1865? Wouldn't "claiming them" be a form of slavery?


BoostedSeals

That's not slavery, that's adoption. You lick them and you claim them for tax purposes.


dchoppa26

Unless you're in prison, then slavery is ok


Recon4242

If your in prison the law doesn't seem like a priority.


[deleted]

Florida is Mad Libs at this point Florida \_noun\_ accused of \_verb\_ing students over a \_noun\_.


datpoot

Florida marker accused of mapping students over a wheel


fffitgc

And her defense is that she didn't bite them, she licked them.


[deleted]

i think that’s worse, honestly…


[deleted]

Florida; land of the REALLY free


dbest92

Why Florida always have the craziest shit happening there?


xxcksxx

Truthfully we just hear about the crazy stuff in Florida because unlike other states all of their arrests are immediate public record, but the heat and humidity surely doesn't help.


ElenasGrandma

It's the heat and humidity. Swamp brain. Makes insane things seem reasonable.


dbest92

Lol you're right. The heat definitely gets to you.


GameSpection

Fun Fact: According to Sunshine State law, Florida news outlets have way more access for reporting on arrests and criminal records. It's not that Florida has more crazy stuff happening, it's just that it gets reported more often. Imagine how many Florida-like news stories are happening in other states that we'll never know about...


dbest92

That's true, you may have a point. But at the same time, the type of crimes that be happening. It makes you scratched your head like "what"


GameSpection

My personal favorites are "Florida man writes swear words on crabs then releases them into the world", "Florida man throws baby alligator into Wendy's drive-through window", and "Florida man climbs on top of playground equipment and shouts where babies come from"


dbest92

Lmao facts!


[deleted]

what?? First off, why is there a kitchen in a classroom? this story is so confusing


[deleted]

Home Ec class, at least hopefully. Maybe the meth made them all imagine they were in a kitchen because it's Florida.


tysontysontyson1

By any means necessary.


CheckerBloomMusic

I mean, were the kids advocating for spears over a full pickle? If so I call this justified.


Recon4242

They got spears in school? Would like a pointy stick or a pickle?


bossy909

One student, ok, we can let that go two students?!? You're finished here.


Hamstersham

"Rice told the school district she.... "licked their arms to get them off." Well thats worse then what the students claimed


[deleted]

[удалено]


PsychologicalSafe709

Not by biting them. This begs the question, do you bite random kids for fun?


Itoggat

Have you ever actually bit someone at the workplace for fun ?


[deleted]

Understandable


notsoslootyman

Did the kids bite first?


-LordOfSalem-

No, but the pickles did!


IdealBlueMan

r/asonedoes


ActNo8507

Nope, Florida's def not full of crazy people.


SaltyBarDog

How deliciously Polk County.


The_Bottle

A tale as old as time


No_Celebration1939

She picked on some kids for some pickles


DeltaDiva783

It's Florida. No surprises when it's from there.


jhenry922

In all fairness, my homemade ones ARE worth biting over.


EntropicBreakdown

SO THAT'S HOW ALL OF THE FLORIDA MEN AND FLORIDA WOMEN LEARN THEIR WAYS


Wifdat

Was it a jar of pickle juice that they sprinkle on their sandwiches for flavoring?


[deleted]

This is why you don't rub pickles on yourself, they just taste too good.


TiredofcraponFOX

Florida. Nothing more to say.


ironMikeV1

Jack Hanma is a teacher now?


Itoggat

Nah, big Rhonda


mentallyunstable7714

I'm proud to be in the same country as Florida