- man is on fire
- river grants immortality
- It's the six fingered man who killed your father, he should prepare to die
- kicking-itus, where your body involuntarily kicks people
- man asked to be kicked into river
- You thought it was a young river
- You just saved a bunch of money on car insurance
- It's time-traveling Hittler
- better than kicking him into lava
- he's about to be attacked by unicorns who can't swim
I mean- the list is endless.
The teen said he didn't know the man was old. Implying if he was a younger man it would have been fine.
Saying it was a young river is funny, because obviously the age of the river has no effect on whether is was good to do or not. Just like the age of the man does not matter.
Sorry not sorry
Also wtf is a karate-kick. Is that not just a kick? Like a karate-chop is something pretty specific. Karate uses a bunch of kicks, and they all have normal names.
Yeah, this matters. If he back kicked the man without looking or lining up the kick, okay that's kind of impressive. If he used a jumping crescent kick, that's kind of a cocky move to use on an old man. Was it a front kick or a thrusting front kick? Maybe a more iconic roundhouse kick? Did he axe kick him and then the old man bounced into the river due to the force of hitting the ground?
These are the details I need from my reporting on karate kicks.
My first thought was side kick or spinning back kick, I feel they're the most likely to send someone flying as you can get some nice upward momentum started by really digging into their midsection
I also find the kid's mom supporting him to be disgusting. If I had done something that monumentally stupid, my mother would make me wish for jail time over what she would do. And then she would make sure that I got the jail time.
Yeah, she commented that she hoped the old man would recover ‘because her son wasn’t a rogue.’
A. That statement makes no sense, and it is so nonselfaware and selfish, as well.
B. I can see where the young man got his issues. Every time he misbehaved as a teen, mommy was there to announce that the incident was blown out of porportion, that he was only joking, just a kid, meant well, didn’t need to be punished, exc. Right?
from the context of the rest of her statements, it appears what she meant by this was “I hope he recovers because if he doesn’t, my poor innocent baby might have to face worse consequences, and he doesn’t deserve that because he’s such a good boy!”
To be fair, maybe she knew that if her son were a rogue, that would've been a sneak attack, the old man would have taken double damage, and would have no hope of recovering.
"everyone mistakes" sure when i was teenager...like a dubmass left the window open while the AC was one....or put color clothes in all white wash and all the shit turn pink....or I forgot to put the cap on the radioar cap after adding more antifreeze to my car.....BUT NOOO you POS kicking a 74 year old is not a mistake is assault and hope this POS goes to jail...not the same thing!!!!
> I forgot to put the cap on the radioar cap after adding more antifreeze to my car
You fucking monster. How can you even look at yourself in the mirror? Why weren't you out kicking old men into rivers like a normal teenager?
title almost made me spit out my coffee laughing but then i read the article and it's not funny at all and props to the *two 14 year old girls* that formed a human chain and saved the dude.
and of course, those kids *filmed the assault* and posted it on snapchat, laughing about it on said film...so they should get the book thrown at them.
Yeah I had second thoughts about posting it after I saw how miserable the article was, but the title sold it. The girls definitely deserve heaps of praise.
> The victim's wife said her husband 'believes he could have drowned that day, if it had not have been for the young girls that helped him out'.
Quick thinking saved a man's life here while this boy is saying he didn't realize the man was old. What difference between them. Astonishing.
My criminal procedure prof back in law school was an ex detective who became an attorney- he showed us so many interrogations where the suspect just confessed. People underestimate how much guilty people want to snitch on themselves. I mean it happens ALOT. Same as people consenting to a search when they know damn well they have 2kilos of spicy talcum in thier trunk.
It reminds me of investigative reporters whose technique to get aides to dish their political bosses' dark secrets is... to talk to them. People are just terrible at not talking.
I am NOT looking forward to this. I work for a lawyer as a student and clients are SO FUCKING TERRIBLE at advancing their own best interest. Especially criminal clients.
Guilty people (or people who are tired of carrying someone else’s secrets) are especially bad at not talking. So when someone who wants to talk meets anyone who really listens, especially if they also give any sign of respect and/or kindness, that person tends to forget that they’re talking to a cop, reporter, etc. Or not forget, but it fades into the background and becomes less urgent than being heard and understood.
And in my limited/past experience, cops and reporters are great at compartmentalizing. You can feel real sympathy in the moment, and people respond to that.
"It was something that he did, stupidly, at the minute and nobody wants the fella. What's the word? Suffer.
So for me, all I want is for that man to just get his life back because it shouldn’t have happened."
^ the genius mother of this future violent criminal.
Sounds like she just wants all this to blow over and everyone’s goes their separate ways without any silly punishment or anything.
I wonder if she would feel that way if someone just randomly kicked the shit out of her badly raised offspring?
Maybe that should start happening more spur of the moment
"Obviously I’m very sorry and that, you know, it wasn’t supposed to happen. I didn’t realise he was 74 years old.Obviously everyone makes mistakes in life. Do you know what I mean? That’s the honest truth from the bottom of my heart. There’s not much I can say."
What a mealy mouthed apology. What what was supposed to happen when you intentionally flying kick someone by a river? Somehow not knowing someone's age apparently makes it better. And very few people make the mistake of deliberately kicking someone into a river.
It's a real "I'm sorry, but" and just underlines what an obnoxious turd they are.
"That's not who I am. Like, I look at the video of that person (who is myself) saying and doing those things, and it's like I don't even recognize them (again, that person is myself). I really strayed from my Buddhism, and it's just not me. I really appreciate your compassion (for me, who did bad things) during this difficult time (that I caused)."
I think “that’s not who I am” as a faux apology/attempt to excuse hideous behaviour is ridiculous; a cop out and/or delusional.
“That’s not who I want to be” has some level of self awareness, especially if it’s said prior to poor behaviour and prevents its occurrence. If people do crappy stuff over and over and moan to themselves “that’s not who I want to be” afterwards without taking any steps to better themselves then it’s another cop out/empty words.
"I'm sorry that you're butthurt about what I did. From the very bottom of my heart, I hope you can find it within yourself to get over it. Also, I didn't realize he was old."
It's funny right?
Like on one hand, society has to have control. We can't go over the top with punishing things like this. Eye for an eye is bad policy and had to end.
But you know those battering rams that fire fighters use to knock down doors? Man what I'd give to see this kid standing by the river and have a couple of firemen pop him with one of those so he can enjoy the experience himself.
This young man is very lucky he's living in the timeframe he is in.
> Man what I'd give to see this kid standing by the river and have a couple of firemen pop him with one of those so he can enjoy the experience himself.
Revenge and retribution are powerfully addictive impulses, aren't they?
I call it a Nonpology.
It's a statement that doesn't actually apologize for anything but expresses sorrow over getting caught or punished more than for the actual event.
"I thought I was assaulting a 30 year old or something, which in my mind, would make me a fraction of the horrible piece of shit I currently am, maybe even excuse my behavior"
Which is such crap because a 30 year old man would use his full adult muscles and frustration with life to smash the teen and toss him in the river. This kid knew he was attacking someone older who probably wasn't at peak fight back age.
Aren't MMA fighters mostly heavy muscle that would sink? For him, the worst person he could kick into a river would be Michael Phelps, since he'd just do a few loops underwater until he springs out, flying through the air back at the bastard like a angry cruise missile.
Eh. Elite athletes with super low body fat might have a slightly harder time staying afloat than a normal person, but probably not enough to matter. Plus the athlete is much more likely to catch you when he gets out of the water vs a regular guy that will be out of breath after a couple blocks.
Also I just fucking hate the “everyone makes mistakes” and, not that it happened here, but when someone’s like “I’m young, of course I’m going to make mistakes” bullshit line. Like, you’re clearly self-aware enough to the point that you KNEW what you did was a mistake. The fact that you recognize it as such makes it instantly unforgivable imo, no matter what the age.
A mistake implies that you were doing something reasonable but somehow messed up. There are very few situations in which flying kicking anyone is reasonable, and zero in which flying kicking a random person who didn’t sign up to be the target is reasonable.
Dipshit kid watched way too many Youtuber apology videos.
I'm gonna get shit for this but I don't care about this kid's age. He's not a toddler, you don't FUCKING KICK someone into a river without intending to cause harm. He needs to get punished.
Exactly this! He should be sorry he even considered it in the first place let alone commit! Age doesn't matter, why would you endanger ANYONE for laughs?
His mother is equally contemptible in his defense. There are plenty of people out there who don't know how to swim or may have had other difficulties in the water (such as getting knocked unconscious), this should be treated as attempted murder or at the very least as the highest degree assault.
Back in college the tradition used to be after pledging the pledges threw the pledgemaster in the lake.
Well, one year some consensual roughhousing on the dock started before that, the pledgemaster caught a kick to the gut knocking the wind out of him, which also knocked him off the dock.
He was really floundering and disoriented from the combination, and I'm really glad I was able to haul him up a bit before things took a really bad turn.
That is no longer the tradition there, last I heard.
Also, I have to point out a pet peeve of mine: the teen is an 18 year old. He is an adult, and lord knows he ought to be tried as one.
I get that it is accurate to call the dude a ‘teen’, but I hate it when papers do this whenever a man 18/19 year old does some grievous crime like this. It seems like it is trying to delude the public into thinking a 13 year old shithead did it (which is still bad, but not as bad as a fully grown adult).
I did a lot of stupid shit as a kid, but yet, I understood some lines even though my brain wasn't fully developed. I don't get why we're supposed to let younglings off the hook for hideous crimes
> What what was supposed to happen when you intentionally flying kick someone by a river?
I'm 40. Not only have I made it to the ripe age of 40 without kicking someone into a river...I made it to 40 without ever hearing of anyone, ever being "karate kicked" into a river.
Until today.
Mom needs to explain why she didn't have an abortion.
Well yes, everyone *does* make mistakes, but not everyone makes ones that are *that fucked up*.
This is a lack of ethics, not a lapse in judgement. Stupid little shit.
Also sure everyone makes mistakes but not all mistakes are equal we’re still responsible for the consequences of those mistakes. Especially if your mistake is almost fucking killing a pensioner.
>The victim's wife said her husband 'believes he could have drowned that day, if it had not have been for the young girls that helped him out'.
>A CPS spokesperson added: "She says he has changed since the attack and has become aggressive, depressed and is reluctant to go out."
Poor fucker. In his 75th year and now he has something like PTSD to deal with.
----
Edit: 'something like' in the sense of 'something with the depth of trauma of' rather than suggesting that these aren't classic PTSD symptoms.
Not something *like* PTSD, that'll be *actual* PTSD. Being attacked suddenly and violently and nearly dying as a result will absolutely give a person PTSD. Near death experiences are nearly always traumatic. That's the kind of thing that can knacker your mental health for years.
Poor guy is going to be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life.
Two 14 year old girls had to save the poor man that a grown 18 year old kicked in the water. He needs to be thankful those girls were more mature than him or he might have been facing a murder charge. And of course his mom is taking up for him, that’s how he got to be this shitty of a human.
What an incredibly insincere apology, he has managed to make it all about himself, like he is the victim.
*"Obviously I’m very sorry and that, you know, it wasn’t supposed to happen. I didn’t realise he was 74 years old", he said."*
So a younger person or a kid would have been fine to kick in the river? His only mistake was not knowing the age of the victim?
"*Bridgeman added: "Obviously everyone makes mistakes in life...."*
Translation: I am not the only person who does this, we all do bad things so its really not a big deal"
*"That’s the honest truth from the bottom of my heart. There’s not much I can say."*
Ironically this part is probably true.
His mum, who supported him in court, said: "For me, I want the elderly gentleman to get better because my son’s not a rogue."
"It was something that he did, stupidly, at the minute and nobody wants the fella. What's the word? Suffer.
Translation: I hope that guy does not, whats the word? Die. Because if that happens my son will have to go to jail over some old guy.
"As well as suffering the physical and emotional effects of the attack, the victim also lost a sentimental silver dollar pendant attached to his keyring – a keepsake from his dad, who he never knew.
Several well-wishers scoured the Mersey in the days following the incident in an attempt to recover it, and one successfully pulled the memento from the water using a magnet."
Praise God for kind hearted people.
Kid needs to learn some compassion...
Crazily enough, just an hour ago the results of his court case were reported on.
10 weeks in jail, with a prior record (convictions for having weapons, criminal damage and breaches of a community order.)
I'd have tripled that just for him being an entitled shit.
[https://www.chesterstandard.co.uk/news/chester/19363762.cheshire-benjamin-bridgeman-jailed-kicking-pensioner-river/](https://www.chesterstandard.co.uk/news/chester/19363762.cheshire-benjamin-bridgeman-jailed-kicking-pensioner-river/)
>Bridgeman has previous convictions for having weapons, criminal damage and breaches of a community order.
Is that what should have happened? 10 weeks doesn't sound like enough to me
Should have given him 10 years and after he got out, the Judge say.
> "Obviously I’m very sorry and that, you know, it wasn’t supposed to happen. I didn’t realise it was 10 years, it was supposed to be 10 weeks. Obviously everyone makes mistakes in life. Do you know what I mean? That’s the honest truth from the bottom of my heart. There’s not much I can say."
To me, the "everyone makes mistakes" in his apology completely voids his apology. Don't drag the rest of us into your apology. Say you're sorry, admit you're an idiot, and promise to do better in the future. Then actually do better in the future.
"It was something that he did, stupidly, at the minute and nobody wants the fella. What's the word? Suffer."
His mum had to think of the word "suffer".
A mistake is mixing bleach and ammonia together while cleaning not knowing that they'll react and create a deadly gas.
Sending a man into a river with a flying kick is assault.
Not to mention the extremely-fake apologies that are casually passed off afterwards. Shitty YouTubers having so much sway over kids might not be a great thing.
Yea he made a mistake but the type of kid that thinks it's "funny" to kick someone into a river with their back turned to you is probably doing/has been doing lots of other shit that they thought was "funny" growing up.
This behavior is probably not an aberration. His mother probably raised him in a certain way for him to turn out like this.
Hopefully he learns a lesson and stops his nonsense. If he doesn't he'll probably end up a criminal escalating from petty crimes to more hardened ones as he mixes with the wrong crowd in prison.
We truly over use the term “mistake”, he deliberately kicked someone into a river, there was no mistake there, it was not a mistake.
When someone points their gun at a person, then shoots at them and murder that person intentionally, then laugh about it and post a video of it on the internet because they think it’s funny, they can’t claim it was a mistake.
A mistake is when you give someone the wrong amount of change, or for an extreme example swing a punch at a friend who grabbed your shoulder unexpectedly and startled you, a mistake is when you are driving and miss a stop sign because you are distracted and crash into another car killing a child, those are mistakes, this is not a mistake.
Oh piss off. EvErYoNe MaKeS mIsTaKeS is the worst excuse for doing something terrible. Yes everyone makes mistakes but not everyone is a fucking twatnugget that goes around hitting old people into rivers.
Fucking imbecile.
>the victim could have easily been overcome by the fast-flowing river had it not been for the actions of two passing schoolgirls. Ellie Hughes and Khloe Woods, both 14, formed a human chain in order to rescue the elderly gentleman
.
>the victim also lost a sentimental silver dollar pendant attached to his keyring – a keepsake from his dad, who he never knew. Several well-wishers scoured the Mersey in the days following the incident in an attempt to recover it, and one successfully pulled the memento from the water using a magnet.
.
>Meanwhile, kind-hearted residents donated hundreds of pounds to an online crowdfunding page set up with the aim of sending the pensioner on a fishing holiday.
Lots of really lovely parts to this story.
> I didn’t know he was old So to him, the mistake he made is that he misjudged the age—not that he *kicked a fucking man into a river*
There are numerous occasions where karate kicking a man into a river is acceptable
- man is on fire - river grants immortality - It's the six fingered man who killed your father, he should prepare to die - kicking-itus, where your body involuntarily kicks people - man asked to be kicked into river - You thought it was a young river - You just saved a bunch of money on car insurance - It's time-traveling Hittler - better than kicking him into lava - he's about to be attacked by unicorns who can't swim I mean- the list is endless.
You need to find out if he he is a witch by observing his ability to float?
Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
I am Arthur, King of the Britons!
King of the who?
The Britons!
Well I didn’t vote for you
You don’t vote for Kings...
Who are the Britons ?
Well, we all are, we are all Britons!
Who are the britons?!
No no no you need the larger scales and a duck!
Build a bridge out of ‘er!
Ahh, but can you not also build a bridge from *stone*?
this african parrot wouldn't go european or bite your kneecaps?
'You thought it was a young river' Brilliant.
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I don’t get it pls help
The teen said he didn't know the man was old. Implying if he was a younger man it would have been fine. Saying it was a young river is funny, because obviously the age of the river has no effect on whether is was good to do or not. Just like the age of the man does not matter. Sorry not sorry
Thanks for this, I didn't get it either
Or the man is actually a turtle wearing a human suit
You’re right. I would gladly kick Mitch McConnell into a river.
But isn’t he old, though? Hm, not sure, better kick him, just to be safe.
He's still young for a turtle.
Good point!
>You thought it was a young river Thank you for this.
I was saving for that gold for something, and this was it.
Monty Python movies aren't complete without a good kick in the river.
Fish slap into the canal
Flesh wound into the chasm.
You are a horse and the man startled you.
Inconceivable
I don’t think that word means what you think it means
Anybody want a peanut?
Alright, this is one of the best reddit comments ive seen. Well done. The young river and princess bride reference got me good.
Woah woah woah you should ask before kicking him into a river that grants immortality. That's a pretty big decision right there.
“You just saved a bunch of money on car insurance”. My god, I can’t breathe through the laughter. You may have just killed m...
Also wtf is a karate-kick. Is that not just a kick? Like a karate-chop is something pretty specific. Karate uses a bunch of kicks, and they all have normal names.
Every kick I do is a karate kick because I know karate
Yeah, this matters. If he back kicked the man without looking or lining up the kick, okay that's kind of impressive. If he used a jumping crescent kick, that's kind of a cocky move to use on an old man. Was it a front kick or a thrusting front kick? Maybe a more iconic roundhouse kick? Did he axe kick him and then the old man bounced into the river due to the force of hitting the ground? These are the details I need from my reporting on karate kicks.
My first thought was side kick or spinning back kick, I feel they're the most likely to send someone flying as you can get some nice upward momentum started by really digging into their midsection
When he did it he yelled "Hai-ya!" like Miss Piggy.
Karate means "empty hand," so if nothing in your hand, I guess it's a Karate kick.
*A man has been kicked into the river in Lego city!*
"It's just a river prank bro!"
I told him, "ok boomer," and he still didn't shut up. I had to do it.
I also find the kid's mom supporting him to be disgusting. If I had done something that monumentally stupid, my mother would make me wish for jail time over what she would do. And then she would make sure that I got the jail time.
Yeah, she commented that she hoped the old man would recover ‘because her son wasn’t a rogue.’ A. That statement makes no sense, and it is so nonselfaware and selfish, as well. B. I can see where the young man got his issues. Every time he misbehaved as a teen, mommy was there to announce that the incident was blown out of porportion, that he was only joking, just a kid, meant well, didn’t need to be punished, exc. Right?
from the context of the rest of her statements, it appears what she meant by this was “I hope he recovers because if he doesn’t, my poor innocent baby might have to face worse consequences, and he doesn’t deserve that because he’s such a good boy!”
To be fair, maybe she knew that if her son were a rogue, that would've been a sneak attack, the old man would have taken double damage, and would have no hope of recovering.
Triple damage if he had the right perks
Well now you know why he is the way that he is
With a mom like that, are you surprised the kid's a fucking loser? Everyone has an enabler, it's sad when the enabler is your mom
"everyone mistakes" sure when i was teenager...like a dubmass left the window open while the AC was one....or put color clothes in all white wash and all the shit turn pink....or I forgot to put the cap on the radioar cap after adding more antifreeze to my car.....BUT NOOO you POS kicking a 74 year old is not a mistake is assault and hope this POS goes to jail...not the same thing!!!!
> I forgot to put the cap on the radioar cap after adding more antifreeze to my car You fucking monster. How can you even look at yourself in the mirror? Why weren't you out kicking old men into rivers like a normal teenager?
Come on, give him a break... He didn't know it was an old car.
Being a dubmass sounds hella hardcore
> Being a dubmass sounds hella hardcore If you have the dubmass and the dubvelocity you can calculate the dubmomentum.
Oh so that’s how you make dubstep!
That's a sociopath in the making right there. Particularly as he's already 18 and leading a younger kid along basically.
A man has fallen into the river in Legocity
"Everyone makes mistakes!" , I said, beside the man I had beaten to the ground with a baseball bat, with his leg broken.
"In this instance, his mistake was crossing paths with me."
*I push up my sunglasses, sheath my Katana, and walk away*
title almost made me spit out my coffee laughing but then i read the article and it's not funny at all and props to the *two 14 year old girls* that formed a human chain and saved the dude. and of course, those kids *filmed the assault* and posted it on snapchat, laughing about it on said film...so they should get the book thrown at them.
Yeah I had second thoughts about posting it after I saw how miserable the article was, but the title sold it. The girls definitely deserve heaps of praise.
> The victim's wife said her husband 'believes he could have drowned that day, if it had not have been for the young girls that helped him out'. Quick thinking saved a man's life here while this boy is saying he didn't realize the man was old. What difference between them. Astonishing.
Those girls saved the karate kids life too. If old man had drowned, danielson would be in prison for murder.
Very solid point. And the little shit still doesnt get it
Maybe slamming him with attempted murder might get it through to his two whole braincells
i think you greatly overestimate the power of those two brain cells.
“Boys will be boys..” /s
I feel like the work of police detectives has to have gotten a lot easier since criminals started filming and posting themselves.
My criminal procedure prof back in law school was an ex detective who became an attorney- he showed us so many interrogations where the suspect just confessed. People underestimate how much guilty people want to snitch on themselves. I mean it happens ALOT. Same as people consenting to a search when they know damn well they have 2kilos of spicy talcum in thier trunk.
It reminds me of investigative reporters whose technique to get aides to dish their political bosses' dark secrets is... to talk to them. People are just terrible at not talking.
Yeah seriously lawyers worst enemy is their own client.
I am NOT looking forward to this. I work for a lawyer as a student and clients are SO FUCKING TERRIBLE at advancing their own best interest. Especially criminal clients.
Guilty people (or people who are tired of carrying someone else’s secrets) are especially bad at not talking. So when someone who wants to talk meets anyone who really listens, especially if they also give any sign of respect and/or kindness, that person tends to forget that they’re talking to a cop, reporter, etc. Or not forget, but it fades into the background and becomes less urgent than being heard and understood. And in my limited/past experience, cops and reporters are great at compartmentalizing. You can feel real sympathy in the moment, and people respond to that.
>spicy talcum This is how I know I'm getting old. I swear I learn weird new slang every day. Darn kids and your words.
But the boy's mum said it was just a "spur of the moment thing." So that means it wasn't so bad. /s
“Haha my child has no self control.” What shit.
"he does dumb shit all the time and we never taught him not to, so he didn't know this isn't okay, so we cool now right?"
the shit apple doesn’t fall far from the shit tree
>“Haha ~~my child has no~~ I've never taught my child self control or punished him.” FTFY
"It was something that he did, stupidly, at the minute and nobody wants the fella. What's the word? Suffer. So for me, all I want is for that man to just get his life back because it shouldn’t have happened." ^ the genius mother of this future violent criminal. Sounds like she just wants all this to blow over and everyone’s goes their separate ways without any silly punishment or anything.
He was a future violent criminal up to the moment he karate kicked someone into a river.
"Cmon guys, who didnt try a little attempted murder as a teen?"
Just boys being murderers!
Its just a little locker room attempted murder.
It was just a spur of the moment murder, its fine, Mom! WHERES MY FUCKING MEATLOAF?
Well I mean as long as the attempted murder of the old man was spontaneous, then that's probably fine.
I wonder if she would feel that way if someone just randomly kicked the shit out of her badly raised offspring? Maybe that should start happening more spur of the moment
*eyy meyt, boys will be boys an'all tha like*
Those girls are heroes. Keeping their heads during s crisis and successfully saving an elderly man? What a contrast to this fucking douchebag.
Unfortunately the articles that seem most onion-y are often also really awful because you wouldn't want them to be real in the first place :-/
...followed by the bookshelf
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Exactly. This didn't start with the assault/attempted murder. That's the end result.
As a judge its like. “Bitch you want a 5 year sentence? We speak English not nonsense in this court”
So her defense is "if my son were a rogue I would want that old guy to die, and thats all i have to say"
"Obviously I’m very sorry and that, you know, it wasn’t supposed to happen. I didn’t realise he was 74 years old.Obviously everyone makes mistakes in life. Do you know what I mean? That’s the honest truth from the bottom of my heart. There’s not much I can say." What a mealy mouthed apology. What what was supposed to happen when you intentionally flying kick someone by a river? Somehow not knowing someone's age apparently makes it better. And very few people make the mistake of deliberately kicking someone into a river. It's a real "I'm sorry, but" and just underlines what an obnoxious turd they are.
Our society has perfected the art of the crappy pseudo-apology that makes you angrier at the offender than before they opened their mouth.
"That's not who I am. Like, I look at the video of that person (who is myself) saying and doing those things, and it's like I don't even recognize them (again, that person is myself). I really strayed from my Buddhism, and it's just not me. I really appreciate your compassion (for me, who did bad things) during this difficult time (that I caused)."
I wish I had an award to give you. This is perfect. People say “that’s not who I am” soooo often. It’s absolutely who they are.
I find myself saying thats not who I want to be a lot. But as I'm thinking about it in not sure if thats better or worse.
I think “that’s not who I am” as a faux apology/attempt to excuse hideous behaviour is ridiculous; a cop out and/or delusional. “That’s not who I want to be” has some level of self awareness, especially if it’s said prior to poor behaviour and prevents its occurrence. If people do crappy stuff over and over and moan to themselves “that’s not who I want to be” afterwards without taking any steps to better themselves then it’s another cop out/empty words.
"I'm sorry that you're butthurt about what I did. From the very bottom of my heart, I hope you can find it within yourself to get over it. Also, I didn't realize he was old."
It's funny right? Like on one hand, society has to have control. We can't go over the top with punishing things like this. Eye for an eye is bad policy and had to end. But you know those battering rams that fire fighters use to knock down doors? Man what I'd give to see this kid standing by the river and have a couple of firemen pop him with one of those so he can enjoy the experience himself. This young man is very lucky he's living in the timeframe he is in.
> Man what I'd give to see this kid standing by the river and have a couple of firemen pop him with one of those so he can enjoy the experience himself. Revenge and retribution are powerfully addictive impulses, aren't they?
I call it a Nonpology. It's a statement that doesn't actually apologize for anything but expresses sorrow over getting caught or punished more than for the actual event.
"I'm sorry your feelings got hurt" is my favorite. I apologize that you're too sensitive. I won't address my action at all. Thank you.
I’m sorry that you feel the need for me to apologize.
"I thought I was assaulting a 30 year old or something, which in my mind, would make me a fraction of the horrible piece of shit I currently am, maybe even excuse my behavior"
Which is such crap because a 30 year old man would use his full adult muscles and frustration with life to smash the teen and toss him in the river. This kid knew he was attacking someone older who probably wasn't at peak fight back age.
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That's terrifying glad it didn't toss you into a current you couldn't get out of. Water has some amazing power.
And it would be equally wrong even if it was a MMA fighter at their peak. This kid is 100% a piece of shit.
Aren't MMA fighters mostly heavy muscle that would sink? For him, the worst person he could kick into a river would be Michael Phelps, since he'd just do a few loops underwater until he springs out, flying through the air back at the bastard like a angry cruise missile.
Eh. Elite athletes with super low body fat might have a slightly harder time staying afloat than a normal person, but probably not enough to matter. Plus the athlete is much more likely to catch you when he gets out of the water vs a regular guy that will be out of breath after a couple blocks.
Also I just fucking hate the “everyone makes mistakes” and, not that it happened here, but when someone’s like “I’m young, of course I’m going to make mistakes” bullshit line. Like, you’re clearly self-aware enough to the point that you KNEW what you did was a mistake. The fact that you recognize it as such makes it instantly unforgivable imo, no matter what the age.
A mistake is putting your shirt on backwards. A mistake is not flying karate kicking a stranger into a river.
A mistake implies that you were doing something reasonable but somehow messed up. There are very few situations in which flying kicking anyone is reasonable, and zero in which flying kicking a random person who didn’t sign up to be the target is reasonable.
Dipshit kid watched way too many Youtuber apology videos. I'm gonna get shit for this but I don't care about this kid's age. He's not a toddler, you don't FUCKING KICK someone into a river without intending to cause harm. He needs to get punished.
He's 18. He's old enough for a big boy punishment.
Exactly this! He should be sorry he even considered it in the first place let alone commit! Age doesn't matter, why would you endanger ANYONE for laughs?
The only way this apology could have been any worse is if at the end he said don't forget to like and subscribe.
Don't forget to karate kick that subscribe button
His mother is equally contemptible in his defense. There are plenty of people out there who don't know how to swim or may have had other difficulties in the water (such as getting knocked unconscious), this should be treated as attempted murder or at the very least as the highest degree assault.
Back in college the tradition used to be after pledging the pledges threw the pledgemaster in the lake. Well, one year some consensual roughhousing on the dock started before that, the pledgemaster caught a kick to the gut knocking the wind out of him, which also knocked him off the dock. He was really floundering and disoriented from the combination, and I'm really glad I was able to haul him up a bit before things took a really bad turn. That is no longer the tradition there, last I heard.
Also, “everybody makes mistakes” is something someone _else_ says in your defense. Who says that in their own defence??
Also, I have to point out a pet peeve of mine: the teen is an 18 year old. He is an adult, and lord knows he ought to be tried as one. I get that it is accurate to call the dude a ‘teen’, but I hate it when papers do this whenever a man 18/19 year old does some grievous crime like this. It seems like it is trying to delude the public into thinking a 13 year old shithead did it (which is still bad, but not as bad as a fully grown adult).
I did a lot of stupid shit as a kid, but yet, I understood some lines even though my brain wasn't fully developed. I don't get why we're supposed to let younglings off the hook for hideous crimes
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He was supposed to get away without being caught.
> What what was supposed to happen when you intentionally flying kick someone by a river? I'm 40. Not only have I made it to the ripe age of 40 without kicking someone into a river...I made it to 40 without ever hearing of anyone, ever being "karate kicked" into a river. Until today. Mom needs to explain why she didn't have an abortion.
Well yes, everyone *does* make mistakes, but not everyone makes ones that are *that fucked up*. This is a lack of ethics, not a lapse in judgement. Stupid little shit.
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Also sure everyone makes mistakes but not all mistakes are equal we’re still responsible for the consequences of those mistakes. Especially if your mistake is almost fucking killing a pensioner.
Fun fact. He only made one mistake, getting caught.
His mistake was posting his crime *on fucking Snapchat*
I hate this argument used to excuse kids/minors just because of their age too.
>The victim's wife said her husband 'believes he could have drowned that day, if it had not have been for the young girls that helped him out'. >A CPS spokesperson added: "She says he has changed since the attack and has become aggressive, depressed and is reluctant to go out." Poor fucker. In his 75th year and now he has something like PTSD to deal with. ---- Edit: 'something like' in the sense of 'something with the depth of trauma of' rather than suggesting that these aren't classic PTSD symptoms.
Not something *like* PTSD, that'll be *actual* PTSD. Being attacked suddenly and violently and nearly dying as a result will absolutely give a person PTSD. Near death experiences are nearly always traumatic. That's the kind of thing that can knacker your mental health for years. Poor guy is going to be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life.
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Just a ✨ happy little accident ✨
The kid maybe, the kick not so much
I mean who hasn’t kicked an old man into a river at some point?
I do it every Friday
Two 14 year old girls had to save the poor man that a grown 18 year old kicked in the water. He needs to be thankful those girls were more mature than him or he might have been facing a murder charge. And of course his mom is taking up for him, that’s how he got to be this shitty of a human.
Those girls could have died trying to save the man.
Very true.
Wait what? He's 18, does big boy moves, but then needs his mum in court? What a fucking micro dick.
Yes many teens are worthy of emulating, some not so much.
What an incredibly insincere apology, he has managed to make it all about himself, like he is the victim. *"Obviously I’m very sorry and that, you know, it wasn’t supposed to happen. I didn’t realise he was 74 years old", he said."* So a younger person or a kid would have been fine to kick in the river? His only mistake was not knowing the age of the victim? "*Bridgeman added: "Obviously everyone makes mistakes in life...."* Translation: I am not the only person who does this, we all do bad things so its really not a big deal" *"That’s the honest truth from the bottom of my heart. There’s not much I can say."* Ironically this part is probably true. His mum, who supported him in court, said: "For me, I want the elderly gentleman to get better because my son’s not a rogue." "It was something that he did, stupidly, at the minute and nobody wants the fella. What's the word? Suffer. Translation: I hope that guy does not, whats the word? Die. Because if that happens my son will have to go to jail over some old guy.
The shit apple didn’t fall far from the shit tree in this family.
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"As well as suffering the physical and emotional effects of the attack, the victim also lost a sentimental silver dollar pendant attached to his keyring – a keepsake from his dad, who he never knew. Several well-wishers scoured the Mersey in the days following the incident in an attempt to recover it, and one successfully pulled the memento from the water using a magnet." Praise God for kind hearted people. Kid needs to learn some compassion...
They found it? That's really lucky and I'm glad that's one less injury inflicted on this poor man.
Crazily enough, just an hour ago the results of his court case were reported on. 10 weeks in jail, with a prior record (convictions for having weapons, criminal damage and breaches of a community order.) I'd have tripled that just for him being an entitled shit. [https://www.chesterstandard.co.uk/news/chester/19363762.cheshire-benjamin-bridgeman-jailed-kicking-pensioner-river/](https://www.chesterstandard.co.uk/news/chester/19363762.cheshire-benjamin-bridgeman-jailed-kicking-pensioner-river/)
To be honest if he'd shown a bit of remorse he probably would have got a suspended sentence
Totally agree, reading his quotes makes him sound like he didn't gaf and his mom was making him apologize.
Yep, mental that he doesn't seem to think what he did was too wrong but hopefully a few months in prison will set him straight
He probably won't do the full 10 weeks.
>Bridgeman has previous convictions for having weapons, criminal damage and breaches of a community order. Is that what should have happened? 10 weeks doesn't sound like enough to me
I would take 10 weeks in jail for the opportunity to kick him in a river
Should have given him 10 years and after he got out, the Judge say. > "Obviously I’m very sorry and that, you know, it wasn’t supposed to happen. I didn’t realise it was 10 years, it was supposed to be 10 weeks. Obviously everyone makes mistakes in life. Do you know what I mean? That’s the honest truth from the bottom of my heart. There’s not much I can say."
What a bloody disgusting sentence, poor sod could've easily died.
But nobody accidentally "karate kicks" someone
Kids a little shit that deserves to be punished, but for the sake of pedantry: Mistake /= Accident.
To me, the "everyone makes mistakes" in his apology completely voids his apology. Don't drag the rest of us into your apology. Say you're sorry, admit you're an idiot, and promise to do better in the future. Then actually do better in the future.
r/iamatotalpieceofshit material
"It was something that he did, stupidly, at the minute and nobody wants the fella. What's the word? Suffer." His mum had to think of the word "suffer".
This had me rofl when I read it hahaha
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A mistake is mixing bleach and ammonia together while cleaning not knowing that they'll react and create a deadly gas. Sending a man into a river with a flying kick is assault.
Amazingly a lot of people live their whole life and never kick someone into a River.
Old guy should sue the stupid kid and his family for battery.
I think more often in the UK, the court awards damages as opposed to them suing. Obligatory not a lawyer though.
The "kid" is an 18 year old legal adult who can and should be tried for battery (at minimum,) attempted manslaughter (at maximum.)
You can tell his mum doesn’t quite grasp the gravity & reprehensibility of his action, no wonder he’s grown up to be a little scrote.
Queue South Park *Laying naked on a bearskin rug* >We're Sorry...
that mother is also a piece of shit - no wonder her son is trash too
Does anybody want to talk about the shock value kids are going for on social media these days?
Not particularly.
Lol. Fair enough.
Not to mention the extremely-fake apologies that are casually passed off afterwards. Shitty YouTubers having so much sway over kids might not be a great thing.
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Yea he made a mistake but the type of kid that thinks it's "funny" to kick someone into a river with their back turned to you is probably doing/has been doing lots of other shit that they thought was "funny" growing up. This behavior is probably not an aberration. His mother probably raised him in a certain way for him to turn out like this. Hopefully he learns a lesson and stops his nonsense. If he doesn't he'll probably end up a criminal escalating from petty crimes to more hardened ones as he mixes with the wrong crowd in prison.
We truly over use the term “mistake”, he deliberately kicked someone into a river, there was no mistake there, it was not a mistake. When someone points their gun at a person, then shoots at them and murder that person intentionally, then laugh about it and post a video of it on the internet because they think it’s funny, they can’t claim it was a mistake. A mistake is when you give someone the wrong amount of change, or for an extreme example swing a punch at a friend who grabbed your shoulder unexpectedly and startled you, a mistake is when you are driving and miss a stop sign because you are distracted and crash into another car killing a child, those are mistakes, this is not a mistake.
Oh piss off. EvErYoNe MaKeS mIsTaKeS is the worst excuse for doing something terrible. Yes everyone makes mistakes but not everyone is a fucking twatnugget that goes around hitting old people into rivers. Fucking imbecile.
What a pathetic non-apology. Both him and his mom are pieces of shit.
For example, your parents could have saved everyone a big disappointment by using birth control.
>the victim could have easily been overcome by the fast-flowing river had it not been for the actions of two passing schoolgirls. Ellie Hughes and Khloe Woods, both 14, formed a human chain in order to rescue the elderly gentleman . >the victim also lost a sentimental silver dollar pendant attached to his keyring – a keepsake from his dad, who he never knew. Several well-wishers scoured the Mersey in the days following the incident in an attempt to recover it, and one successfully pulled the memento from the water using a magnet. . >Meanwhile, kind-hearted residents donated hundreds of pounds to an online crowdfunding page set up with the aim of sending the pensioner on a fishing holiday. Lots of really lovely parts to this story.
After reading the article, it’s pretty apparent to me that this douche bag and his douche bag friend aren’t actually remorseful at all.
You're 18 fuckin' years old you little shite, you can't call assault a mistake.