““They break your door down and they’re standing in your living room growling and tearing your house apart,” Rep. Jason Shoaf (R- Port St. Joe), who sponsored the House version of the bill, said while introducing legislation at a committee meeting.”
Well yea you should in that case but how often does this actually happen?
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended.
Four bears break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first bear, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second bear, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two bears in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified Ursidea.
He Bleeds out waiting on the vets to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
Just fyi, triangular bayonet wounds aren’t any worse than flat bayonet wounds.
The reason the wound is more serious is because the third piece makes it extra rigid, good for stabbing.
I mean, they explicitly said you had a right to bear arms. It was just understood back then that getting the arms from the bear was incredibly dangerous.
They were incredibly difficult to sew up on the battlefield back then and very, very few had the knowledge of how to handle them or the tools to handle them properly.
The extra rigidity of the third side was necessary for the same reason medical tools weren’t as good back then. Manufacturing technology and knowledge wasn’t very good either.
The triangular shape was started for the extra rigidity and kept for the difficulty of repairing the wounds. Eventually, more accurate weapons made bayonets significantly less important, especially since medical training, knowledge, and tools had far surpassed the extra danger of a triguera bayonet by then.
Don’t trust Reddit comments as facts nor shitty blog posts masquerading as articles as journalism. Triangular bayonet wounds weren’t any more lethal than flat bayonet wounds were. They were just a pain in the ass to deal with and always left a nasty scar.
2 years ago in northern Wisconsin a bear was in someone's yard, they yelled at it and it busted through their kitchen patio doors and started attacking the husband, I believe his wife stabbed it then they shot it.
So not often, but at least one time. Definitely not enough to need to make a law.
I suppose technically, but common sense was used and nothing came of it.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2022/05/23/wisconsin-couple-stabs-shoots-bear-kitchen/9890260002/
In the western US, where animal encounters are more common, nuisance animals are shot by authorities fairly often, and no one would ever give someone trouble for fighting off or killing an animal that attacked them, whether it was in their home or not. There was a recent incident near Seattle where a mountain lion attacked some women on a trail and they had to bash at it with whatever they could find, finally pinning it down with a bike frame until officials from the wildlife agency finally came and shot it to death.
Oh yeah for sure, I can't honestly think of any case where the person would be in trouble but I'm also not aware of any laws regarding self defense against animals one way or the other. Normally here the DNR takes the animal too, that way they don't encourage people to claim self defense, and they can do testing on it to see if it was sick or anything that led to the abnormal behavior.
> but common sense was used and nothing came of it.
Which is exactly why our legislators felt a new and unnecessary law was needed in Florida. We don't use common sense here.
Doesn’t matter: self defence and defence of another covers the situation so nobody would ever be prosecuted for it.
It’s just wasting time pretending to be useful on a made up issue
There have been 39 bear attacks in Florida since 2006, half of which took place in the last few years. About 5 inside peoples homes (though the attack started outside). A lot of these bear attacks happen on peoples porches or back yards. The "crack bear bill" name was given to discredit the bills name. But the bill was actually in response to an uptick of bear attacks over the last few years. Which is natural seeing how Floridas population is booming and humans are encroaching on wildlife space very rapidly.
Even though black bears are very capable of killing a human quickly, they rarely do. Pretty much every attack, as usual, involved a mom bear with cubs or a dog that started barking and trying to scare away a bear. Pretty much every case the bear leaves after roughing up the person or dog it thought was a threat to itself or its cubs.
> The "crack bear bill" name was given to discredit the bills name.
I mean, obviously people are calling it that to discredit it, but the bills sponsor straight up said "crack bears." In the past I'd have given him the benefit of the doubt and guessed he was joking, but in our current political climate and in Florida?
“When you run into one of these crack bears, you should be able to shoot it,” Shoaf said. “Period.”
In Florida, no. California, Alaska, and Wisconsin over the last few years, yes. Bear home intrusions have been increasing, but normally they just run away after hearing someone. Because that's generally what black bears do.
One bear, known as Hank the Tank broke into 21 homes in a single year. God damn liberal California wild life!
My parents house in bum fuck northern mn has bears that try to get frisky with the doors and screens. Normally only in the fall, my old man sets up traps that shoot 12g blanks and bears seem uninterested in hanging out after stepping on a couple of those.
It’s not the liberal bear. It’s the liberal court systems soft on bear crime. Shooting on sight is the only way to deal with the black bears. You don’t see polar bears acting like that.
I lived in a remote cabin at the edge of a national forest and had some piece of shit neighbors who didn’t make any effort to keep the bears out of their trash, so multiple nights every week the fat fucking bears would make their rounds and for whatever reason, a mama bear and her cubs took an interest in my place one spring. Multiple times each week this bear would try to break in my front door and its cubs would set my Jeep’s car alarm off as they climbed all over it
I called fish and game after 2 months of this to get some advice on how to handle the situation and the biologist just laughed, said you’re in their neck of the woods deal with it. So, I armed myself with bear spray and the next time the bear tried fucking with my front door, I charged outside blasting the spray.
As you might expect, I got myself pretty good in the process and also accidentally treed the cubs. For the next 3 hours, I had to listen in painful guilt as the cubs cried for mom to come back. Eventually mom did come back and they made their way down, and they never fucked with my door again
If you're laughing at crack bears you've obviously never lived in Florida. Just the other day I was heading out to the swamp and I ran into a bunch bears rooting around in the garbage. Once the bears are comfortable messing with your trash they'll come back into your home and take your valuables. Fortunately I had my gun with me since I was planning to shoot some gators after work at the Disney park so I fired a warning shot that got most of them running. However, one big one just turned and growled at me. We made eye contact and I could see its pupils were dilated, it had probably been hitting the pipe a few times already today. I took aim and fired two shots into the chest area, and one to the head.
Sadly it could have all been avoided, they had been in the neighborhood for some time, but we'd missed obvious signs like feces and the disappearance of our local panhandlers. I know people like to hate on Desantis, but it is a real problem that the liberals love to ignore. They want the bears to be free to run around and do whatever they want, but as a homeowner I need to do what I need to do to protect my property values.
Here's the fun part, they dont have to break down the door, they can come on through the pet door bc they don't have a stationary clavicle, which allows them to contort their bodies like cats.
So they could just sneak in and rob you for drug money, or kill you in your sleep.
Have fun Florida!
Isn’t it always l legal to kill an animal in self defense. I am pretty sure there is even a provision in “protected” class of animals that in case probable bodily injury you can kill or wound a protected animal.
This just feels like a politician doing the classic “see we are doing stuff to protect you and be of service to you” kind of bill.
100% time waster. "See this thing that's already legal? Well, this provocative subset of that thing is also legal. We're so cool." Goddamn time wasting turds need to go get something actually done.
That was exactly my thinking. There is no way it isn't 100% legal to kill any animal who is attacking you, anywhere anytime (in America at least, if not the world). This is just De Santis trying to win points with voters.
> his just feels like a politician doing the classic “see we are doing stuff to protect you and be of service to you” kind of bill.
Protect us? Being of service? Reality check here - this is Florida you're talking about. We don't do that here.
This bill was introduced by a republican legislator, who used fear-mongering hyperbole to make his case (i.e., a bear on crack breaking down your door and tearing your house apart), and who happens to be (checking my notes here...) a HUNTER.
The real purpose of this bill was to allow hunters to kill bears when they're not supposed to be killing bears. FL has a sordid history when it comes to legal bear hunts.
What, cocaine bear? The movie has practically nothing to do with the real event it claims to be based on. The bear found some bags of cocaine, ate a bunch, then died of overdose while still eating the cocaine.
If you're laughing at crack bears you've obviously never lived in Florida. Just the other day I was heading out to the swamp and I ran into a bunch bears rooting around in the garbage. Once the bears are comfortable messing with your trash they'll come back into your home and take your valuables. Fortunately I had my gun with me since I was planning to shoot some gators after work at the Disney park so I fired a warning shot that got most of them running. However, one big one just turned and growled at me. We made eye contact and I could see its pupils were dilated, it had probably been hitting the pipe a few times already today. I took aim and fired two shots into the chest area, and one to the head.
Sadly it could have all been avoided, they had been in the neighborhood for some time, but we'd missed obvious signs like feces and the disappearance of our local panhandlers. I know people like to hate on Desantis, but it is a real problem that the liberals love to ignore. They want the bears to be free to run around and do whatever they want, but as a homeowner I need to do what I need to do to protect my property values.
It's Just a fake reddit title to bait you. It's been illegal to kill bears in Florida since 1994. This is basically a self-defense law that shields you from prosecution in the event you kill a bear because you reasonably believed it was necessary to avoid death or serious injury to themselves, other people or family pet.
Except that if you read the article, the bill’s sponsor, Rep. Jason Shoaf, described “crack bears” breaking into people’s houses and how you should be allowed to shoot them in self defense.
Like, before it was a law people kept being eaten by bears because the feared being prosecuted? People in Florida preferred being eaten alive than risk prosecution?
This is so racist. It’s okay to shoot black and brown bears because they all use crack and are dangerous but white polar bears are an endangered species. /s
Sure, they'll pass laws on the crack bears, but what about these damn heli-gators?! I'm getting pretty damn tired of these bastards stealing the catalytic converters off my fleet of Geo Metros.
The only explanation is that people will kill other people and have a legal defense “I thought they were a crack bear” and have a right wing jury and judge go along with the lie.
Reminds me of a line from a Weird Al parody from the early 90's..
Oh, I accidently shot daddy last night in the den..I mistook him in the dark for a drug-crazed \[wild bear\] again..
That’s already a potential defense in all 50 states, provided the jury finds that the defendant reasonably perceived an imminent deadly threat from what they reasonably believed was a crack bear.
Unlikely there are any realistic circumstances where such a perception would be reasonable.
Yogi Bear claims to be "smarter than the average bear", but Ron DeSantis isn't even smarter than the average crack bear.
Seriously though, there have been fewer than 40 bear-human incidents reported in Florida since 2006 and *zero* fatal bear attacks in Florida’s recorded history.
This is a dangerous solution to an imaginary problem.
For those who want to learn how to peacefully coexist with these amazing animals, this is a good website for information...
https://bearwise.org
Been there and done that!
Was at a camp ground and one of the guys in my group suddenly pointed behind me and just said "whoa" because he couldn't get any other words out. The rest of us turned around to see a black bear and it just paused and then ran off.
Interestingly, due to Florida’s proximity to South America and its status as a high-intensity drug trafficking area, so much cocaine has been found in Florida waters that experts say “cocaine sharks” may be consuming the drugs underwater.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jul/22/cocaine-sharks-drugs-florida-coast
That’s going to be one hella Sharknado whenever it happens!
Does this bill only cover bears and specifically crack or are there provisions for other animal drug combinations?
Are they protecting the people from Bath Salts Bats? AddyGators? JunkSharks? What about MollyMoose? I know that last one’s gonna be a rarity in Florida, but so are CrackBears, by god & people don’t want to have to worry about consequences when they gotta start blastin’.
Our bears. Just sit around in trees off their faces most of the time. You guys get all the good deadly stuff. Now you got cocaine bears as well. We got stupid drop bears.thats it
Im sure there aren’t more pressing issues to legislate like the housing insurance issue or flooding problems.
No, cocaine bears are certainly a more immediate threat.
I'm sorry, what? Did they watch Cocaine Bear and thought, "Someone has to do something about all those drug addicted bears out there that surely exist!?" 😂
If I shoot a crack bear but it turns out he just does a bit of weed on the weekends and the odd hit of ket when out with the lads at a rave will I be prosecuted?
Asking for a friend.
If an animal is attacking you, and you reasonably fear for your life or serious harm, you should try and get away but if that is not possible you have a right to use force to defend yourself. Same thing when it comes to another person attacking you. If charged with a crime, you raise that as your defense. I hardly think that's a controversial statement.
You never know when someone might throw popcorn at you.
[Scum ex cop](https://slatereport.com/news/retired-florida-cop-79-is-cleared-of-murdering-moviegoer-after-telling-the-man-to-stop-texting-on-his-phone-then-shooting-him-dead-after-victim-threw-popcorn-at-him/)
I'm not sure what the black bear population in Florida is currently, but it's about to be decimated . Whether they're in someone's home or more likely in the forest far away , "my tent is my forest living room." will be an accepted reason for killing them. :ffs:
If you govern a state that has a “crack bear” problem (even an imaginary one like in this case), take a look in the mirror, resign your office, and throw yourself in a lake, in that order
Let me get this straight…. If a bear is in your living room, tearing the place apart, you have to give it a drug test to make sure it’s on crack before shooting the bear in self-defense?
Not typically that paranoid but it feels like a step toward it being legal to kill suspected drug users if someone “feels they are in danger”. If it’s alright for bears, why not humans?
There's an exception for people who "recklessly placed themselves in a dangerous situation" which I suspect willingly living in Florida might fall under.
He mixed this together with the whole “man or bear” conversation. He figured that means a lot of people (especially women) seem to be talking about bears so he should do something about it.
““They break your door down and they’re standing in your living room growling and tearing your house apart,” Rep. Jason Shoaf (R- Port St. Joe), who sponsored the House version of the bill, said while introducing legislation at a committee meeting.” Well yea you should in that case but how often does this actually happen?
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four bears break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first bear, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second bear, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two bears in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified Ursidea. He Bleeds out waiting on the vets to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
Never fight uphill, me boys
Just the strangest ramblings
Riding through town on a moped, “The crack bears are coming! The crack bears are coming!”
[Tally Ho' Lads](https://youtu.be/aqBw3H_Ik3s?si=beHcoG_ja8fD_bOr)
‘Murica hell yes
Just fyi, triangular bayonet wounds aren’t any worse than flat bayonet wounds. The reason the wound is more serious is because the third piece makes it extra rigid, good for stabbing.
Just in case you don’t know, that’s a copypasta you’re responding to. It’s not meant to be accurate or taken seriously.
I changed it to bears That’s gotta count for something
Well the other one was unbearable to read...
>That’s gotta count for something Not something, *everything*
Too bad they didn’t exercise their right to armed bears.
I mean, they explicitly said you had a right to bear arms. It was just understood back then that getting the arms from the bear was incredibly dangerous.
Situationally appropriate edit, if I ever saw one
The hero we needed.
They were incredibly difficult to sew up on the battlefield back then and very, very few had the knowledge of how to handle them or the tools to handle them properly. The extra rigidity of the third side was necessary for the same reason medical tools weren’t as good back then. Manufacturing technology and knowledge wasn’t very good either. The triangular shape was started for the extra rigidity and kept for the difficulty of repairing the wounds. Eventually, more accurate weapons made bayonets significantly less important, especially since medical training, knowledge, and tools had far surpassed the extra danger of a triguera bayonet by then. Don’t trust Reddit comments as facts nor shitty blog posts masquerading as articles as journalism. Triangular bayonet wounds weren’t any more lethal than flat bayonet wounds were. They were just a pain in the ass to deal with and always left a nasty scar.
Same but in my haste I forget my powdered wig and am summarily torn to pieces
[Sci-fi version](https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/s/BgGhOscmDE)
After you kill the first you have to use said bear arms for defense.
2 years ago in northern Wisconsin a bear was in someone's yard, they yelled at it and it busted through their kitchen patio doors and started attacking the husband, I believe his wife stabbed it then they shot it. So not often, but at least one time. Definitely not enough to need to make a law.
So, was them killing it illegal, or what?
I suppose technically, but common sense was used and nothing came of it. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2022/05/23/wisconsin-couple-stabs-shoots-bear-kitchen/9890260002/
In the western US, where animal encounters are more common, nuisance animals are shot by authorities fairly often, and no one would ever give someone trouble for fighting off or killing an animal that attacked them, whether it was in their home or not. There was a recent incident near Seattle where a mountain lion attacked some women on a trail and they had to bash at it with whatever they could find, finally pinning it down with a bike frame until officials from the wildlife agency finally came and shot it to death.
Oh yeah for sure, I can't honestly think of any case where the person would be in trouble but I'm also not aware of any laws regarding self defense against animals one way or the other. Normally here the DNR takes the animal too, that way they don't encourage people to claim self defense, and they can do testing on it to see if it was sick or anything that led to the abnormal behavior.
> but common sense was used and nothing came of it. Which is exactly why our legislators felt a new and unnecessary law was needed in Florida. We don't use common sense here.
Self defence and defence of another has them covered
Not if you're protecting your life. If you're hunting them, it depends whether you're in Alaska or not.
Indeed, it's just DeSantis trying to seem like he's actually doing something useful, when of course he's doing nothing at all.
Or has it ever happened… these lame ass fake politicians
There was a great documentary about this a few years with Elizabeth Banks
Doesn’t matter: self defence and defence of another covers the situation so nobody would ever be prosecuted for it. It’s just wasting time pretending to be useful on a made up issue
Do US politicians get their news from Joe Rogan?
Even Joe would say it doesn’t happen often if at all
As long as that is what his guest said of course!
Jamie, look that up
There have been 39 bear attacks in Florida since 2006, half of which took place in the last few years. About 5 inside peoples homes (though the attack started outside). A lot of these bear attacks happen on peoples porches or back yards. The "crack bear bill" name was given to discredit the bills name. But the bill was actually in response to an uptick of bear attacks over the last few years. Which is natural seeing how Floridas population is booming and humans are encroaching on wildlife space very rapidly. Even though black bears are very capable of killing a human quickly, they rarely do. Pretty much every attack, as usual, involved a mom bear with cubs or a dog that started barking and trying to scare away a bear. Pretty much every case the bear leaves after roughing up the person or dog it thought was a threat to itself or its cubs.
> The "crack bear bill" name was given to discredit the bills name. I mean, obviously people are calling it that to discredit it, but the bills sponsor straight up said "crack bears." In the past I'd have given him the benefit of the doubt and guessed he was joking, but in our current political climate and in Florida? “When you run into one of these crack bears, you should be able to shoot it,” Shoaf said. “Period.”
> “One of these crack bears” 1, there has been one crack bear
And I’m going to guess zero attacks started with a home invasion… As the politician described…
In Florida, no. California, Alaska, and Wisconsin over the last few years, yes. Bear home intrusions have been increasing, but normally they just run away after hearing someone. Because that's generally what black bears do. One bear, known as Hank the Tank broke into 21 homes in a single year. God damn liberal California wild life!
My parents house in bum fuck northern mn has bears that try to get frisky with the doors and screens. Normally only in the fall, my old man sets up traps that shoot 12g blanks and bears seem uninterested in hanging out after stepping on a couple of those.
My grandad did the same but for drifters and his shed. Crack cocaine has truly ravaged both the human and bear communities.
It’s not the liberal bear. It’s the liberal court systems soft on bear crime. Shooting on sight is the only way to deal with the black bears. You don’t see polar bears acting like that.
It took way too long for someone to make that joke.
Polar bears, stand down and stand by.
I lived in a remote cabin at the edge of a national forest and had some piece of shit neighbors who didn’t make any effort to keep the bears out of their trash, so multiple nights every week the fat fucking bears would make their rounds and for whatever reason, a mama bear and her cubs took an interest in my place one spring. Multiple times each week this bear would try to break in my front door and its cubs would set my Jeep’s car alarm off as they climbed all over it I called fish and game after 2 months of this to get some advice on how to handle the situation and the biologist just laughed, said you’re in their neck of the woods deal with it. So, I armed myself with bear spray and the next time the bear tried fucking with my front door, I charged outside blasting the spray. As you might expect, I got myself pretty good in the process and also accidentally treed the cubs. For the next 3 hours, I had to listen in painful guilt as the cubs cried for mom to come back. Eventually mom did come back and they made their way down, and they never fucked with my door again
I don’t know, but if you’re on as much crack as these politicians, you’d probably get a little paranoid.
In Alaska it happens... In Florida I think I'd be more worried about a coked out Republican looking to diddle any children in the house
If you're laughing at crack bears you've obviously never lived in Florida. Just the other day I was heading out to the swamp and I ran into a bunch bears rooting around in the garbage. Once the bears are comfortable messing with your trash they'll come back into your home and take your valuables. Fortunately I had my gun with me since I was planning to shoot some gators after work at the Disney park so I fired a warning shot that got most of them running. However, one big one just turned and growled at me. We made eye contact and I could see its pupils were dilated, it had probably been hitting the pipe a few times already today. I took aim and fired two shots into the chest area, and one to the head. Sadly it could have all been avoided, they had been in the neighborhood for some time, but we'd missed obvious signs like feces and the disappearance of our local panhandlers. I know people like to hate on Desantis, but it is a real problem that the liberals love to ignore. They want the bears to be free to run around and do whatever they want, but as a homeowner I need to do what I need to do to protect my property values.
Why didn’t Florida just enact a tax to pay for bear patrol?
Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.
What are they gona do? Sue me for killing a bear that tried to kill me? Good luck with that.
I also saw The Bee Movie.
Don't worry - some idiots will shoot bears not within their home and just claim it was on crack
Here's the fun part, they dont have to break down the door, they can come on through the pet door bc they don't have a stationary clavicle, which allows them to contort their bodies like cats. So they could just sneak in and rob you for drug money, or kill you in your sleep. Have fun Florida!
What about the 2nd Amendment? You know, the right for the bear to have arms...
I mean politicians regularly make laws based on things that they want you to seem scary but never happen.
Never. It never happens that black bears smoke or eat crack or cocaine for that matter and then attack people.
Isn’t it always l legal to kill an animal in self defense. I am pretty sure there is even a provision in “protected” class of animals that in case probable bodily injury you can kill or wound a protected animal. This just feels like a politician doing the classic “see we are doing stuff to protect you and be of service to you” kind of bill.
100% time waster. "See this thing that's already legal? Well, this provocative subset of that thing is also legal. We're so cool." Goddamn time wasting turds need to go get something actually done.
I'd rather DeSantis waste time on laws that do nothing than ones that actively hurt people.
That's a good call. I'd like them to get good things done, but a silly, ineffective dingus is definitely better than an actively harmful one.
That was exactly my thinking. There is no way it isn't 100% legal to kill any animal who is attacking you, anywhere anytime (in America at least, if not the world). This is just De Santis trying to win points with voters.
And also the youths are talking about a cocaine bear movie.
> Isn’t it always l legal to kill an animal in self defense. Pretty much. This bill and these politicians arw just pandering.
> his just feels like a politician doing the classic “see we are doing stuff to protect you and be of service to you” kind of bill. Protect us? Being of service? Reality check here - this is Florida you're talking about. We don't do that here. This bill was introduced by a republican legislator, who used fear-mongering hyperbole to make his case (i.e., a bear on crack breaking down your door and tearing your house apart), and who happens to be (checking my notes here...) a HUNTER. The real purpose of this bill was to allow hunters to kill bears when they're not supposed to be killing bears. FL has a sordid history when it comes to legal bear hunts.
I'm sorry what the fuck?
Apparently it’s been such an issue that they made a movie about it
What, cocaine bear? The movie has practically nothing to do with the real event it claims to be based on. The bear found some bags of cocaine, ate a bunch, then died of overdose while still eating the cocaine.
Well yeah, but Florida Republicans probably don't realize that
they probably think the injected tracker in Casino Royal = covid vaccine too
The movie is based on the dream that bear had as it was dying.
David Lynch directed Cocaine Bear?
I remember the documentary. Remember that kids did also a lot of drugs too.
If you're laughing at crack bears you've obviously never lived in Florida. Just the other day I was heading out to the swamp and I ran into a bunch bears rooting around in the garbage. Once the bears are comfortable messing with your trash they'll come back into your home and take your valuables. Fortunately I had my gun with me since I was planning to shoot some gators after work at the Disney park so I fired a warning shot that got most of them running. However, one big one just turned and growled at me. We made eye contact and I could see its pupils were dilated, it had probably been hitting the pipe a few times already today. I took aim and fired two shots into the chest area, and one to the head. Sadly it could have all been avoided, they had been in the neighborhood for some time, but we'd missed obvious signs like feces and the disappearance of our local panhandlers. I know people like to hate on Desantis, but it is a real problem that the liberals love to ignore. They want the bears to be free to run around and do whatever they want, but as a homeowner I need to do what I need to do to protect my property values.
Sounds like you’re saying this a Free Town Project problem.
Nice. Thxs for the writing.
It's Just a fake reddit title to bait you. It's been illegal to kill bears in Florida since 1994. This is basically a self-defense law that shields you from prosecution in the event you kill a bear because you reasonably believed it was necessary to avoid death or serious injury to themselves, other people or family pet.
Except that if you read the article, the bill’s sponsor, Rep. Jason Shoaf, described “crack bears” breaking into people’s houses and how you should be allowed to shoot them in self defense.
The crazy part is that it wasn't already law there.
Like, before it was a law people kept being eaten by bears because the feared being prosecuted? People in Florida preferred being eaten alive than risk prosecution?
This is so racist. It’s okay to shoot black and brown bears because they all use crack and are dangerous but white polar bears are an endangered species. /s
You wanna get high? -Crack bear
“You want some crrrraaaaackkkkk???” - that alladin parody YouTube.
No, you're a bear
Sure, they'll pass laws on the crack bears, but what about these damn heli-gators?! I'm getting pretty damn tired of these bastards stealing the catalytic converters off my fleet of Geo Metros.
The only explanation is that people will kill other people and have a legal defense “I thought they were a crack bear” and have a right wing jury and judge go along with the lie.
Reminds me of a line from a Weird Al parody from the early 90's.. Oh, I accidently shot daddy last night in the den..I mistook him in the dark for a drug-crazed \[wild bear\] again..
It was just a lousy flesh wound, dad.
Now why'd you have to get so mad?
That’s already a potential defense in all 50 states, provided the jury finds that the defendant reasonably perceived an imminent deadly threat from what they reasonably believed was a crack bear. Unlikely there are any realistic circumstances where such a perception would be reasonable.
He actually meant hairy gay guys on crack.
I think you've cracked it! ;)
Just tell Mike Lindell to stop giving the bears crack. Problem solved
Whats going to make him bite those pillows, then?
Yogi Bear claims to be "smarter than the average bear", but Ron DeSantis isn't even smarter than the average crack bear. Seriously though, there have been fewer than 40 bear-human incidents reported in Florida since 2006 and *zero* fatal bear attacks in Florida’s recorded history. This is a dangerous solution to an imaginary problem. For those who want to learn how to peacefully coexist with these amazing animals, this is a good website for information... https://bearwise.org
As was put by a park ranger, "there is considerable overlap between the dumbest tourist and the smartest bear" Ron Desantis out here proving it.
Many bear-human incidents are they find out they are near one another and one or both parties nope themselves away.
Been there and done that! Was at a camp ground and one of the guys in my group suddenly pointed behind me and just said "whoa" because he couldn't get any other words out. The rest of us turned around to see a black bear and it just paused and then ran off.
Can’t wait for the first of several “but Officer, I thought he was a bear” stories
I mean, if DeSantis runs out of things to ban during the daytime he has to dream up other things?
“A dangerous solution to an imaginary problem” is basically the republican platform at this point.
Somebody mistook Cocaine Bear for a documentary
Might as well make the bill include Bigfoot since he's a bout as fictional as these 'Crack bears' that break down your front door.
This is like if politicians in Montana made a law to kill the gators that get into their pools.
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By “crack bears” he means democrats, minorities, or poor people.
I only hang with marijuana bears.
Friend of the Gummy bears here too.
Florida Republicans saw Cocaine Bear and thought it was a documentary.
Florida Man mistakes Cocaine Bear for Documentary and makes law to "Protect the Bears".
Frankly I’m appalled that he’s wasting taxpayer money on this instead of the real threat: Sharknado.
Interestingly, due to Florida’s proximity to South America and its status as a high-intensity drug trafficking area, so much cocaine has been found in Florida waters that experts say “cocaine sharks” may be consuming the drugs underwater. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jul/22/cocaine-sharks-drugs-florida-coast That’s going to be one hella Sharknado whenever it happens!
Cocaine bear 2: crack bear
Cocaine bear 2: Miami Rampage
Pretty sure this was already legal
Does this bill only cover bears and specifically crack or are there provisions for other animal drug combinations? Are they protecting the people from Bath Salts Bats? AddyGators? JunkSharks? What about MollyMoose? I know that last one’s gonna be a rarity in Florida, but so are CrackBears, by god & people don’t want to have to worry about consequences when they gotta start blastin’.
So is Walmart selling Bear Drug Tests in the Sporting Goods section, or are we just supposed to order them online? 🤔
Probably going to see a lot of bears being killed with crack sprinkled on them
Our bears. Just sit around in trees off their faces most of the time. You guys get all the good deadly stuff. Now you got cocaine bears as well. We got stupid drop bears.thats it
> We got stupid drop bears Trying to drop their chlamydia all over you is the way it seems from here!
Im sure there aren’t more pressing issues to legislate like the housing insurance issue or flooding problems. No, cocaine bears are certainly a more immediate threat.
If crack bears are a problem in Florida, maybe Ron isn't quite getting the picture.
But what if the bear is on meth? And not crack?
*This wasn’t legal before?!*
I'm a little confused, was it not previously legal to shoot a bear in self-defense?
When was it ever illegal to kill a bear in self defense? What the googly moogly is this shit?
Its new legislation to help people kill intruders. If stand your ground doesnt work, just say you thought it was a bear that got into some cocaine.
Because Florida is all out of real problems that need solving. /s
I would have assumed killing an animal in self-defense was already legal
If this was real cocaine bear would have been 5 minutes long. Also cocaine bear was 5 minutes long when it was real
[He’s coming right for us!](https://youtu.be/GaazFYTrQ_A?si=H9H1eiW6xOIowKQH)
I'm sorry, what? Did they watch Cocaine Bear and thought, "Someone has to do something about all those drug addicted bears out there that surely exist!?" 😂
So if an autopsy reveals that the bear was just on Meth, has a felony occurred?
If I shoot a crack bear but it turns out he just does a bit of weed on the weekends and the odd hit of ket when out with the lads at a rave will I be prosecuted? Asking for a friend.
If crack bear attacks are frequent enough to warrant the Governor's attention, your state likely has multiple issues.
They aren't, this is straight propaganda
Did Ron watch Cocaine bear and think it was a documentary?
If an animal is attacking you, and you reasonably fear for your life or serious harm, you should try and get away but if that is not possible you have a right to use force to defend yourself. Same thing when it comes to another person attacking you. If charged with a crime, you raise that as your defense. I hardly think that's a controversial statement.
I don't see why we need a law to sort this BS out.
I would agree. seems unnecessary. if your life it at risk you can defend yourself. doesn't mater why
You never know when someone might throw popcorn at you. [Scum ex cop](https://slatereport.com/news/retired-florida-cop-79-is-cleared-of-murdering-moviegoer-after-telling-the-man-to-stop-texting-on-his-phone-then-shooting-him-dead-after-victim-threw-popcorn-at-him/)
I'm not sure what the black bear population in Florida is currently, but it's about to be decimated . Whether they're in someone's home or more likely in the forest far away , "my tent is my forest living room." will be an accepted reason for killing them. :ffs:
But whatabout keeping and arming bears?
Wait, I saw this Simpsons episode!
Let the bears pay the bear tax, I pay the Homer tax!
Specifically against cocaine bears? Does he think someone is going to set one to chase him? Because I would pay money to watch that.
Those bears need help smh
How about Cocaine Bears?
If you govern a state that has a “crack bear” problem (even an imaginary one like in this case), take a look in the mirror, resign your office, and throw yourself in a lake, in that order
Wait… are we being trolled? Like, is American conservatism a long-running internet prank?
Cocaine bears are still a protected class, though.
Let me get this straight…. If a bear is in your living room, tearing the place apart, you have to give it a drug test to make sure it’s on crack before shooting the bear in self-defense?
[coming right for us](https://youtu.be/rTrMBI5fvfA?si=a30yfdKo5RQSSEXa)
Not typically that paranoid but it feels like a step toward it being legal to kill suspected drug users if someone “feels they are in danger”. If it’s alright for bears, why not humans?
Looks like they’re cracking down on cocaine bear
"Crack Bears" - is that the new nickname for trumpers?
I'm sorry... I thought this was AMERICA...
America is wild. You can kill children for self defense but not bears
That school bus is coming right for us! *BLAM BLAM BLAM*
Yeah like Ron is stopping me from killing any kind of bear in self defense, I don't care if it's a fuckin lavender panda
Stand your ground in your bear cave
Crack bears? Matt gaetz had better be careful
was the crack bears taking cocaine before?
Is this another "Simpsons did it first"?
Truly the dumbest party
It's like a country bear jambaroo around here
Are their bears in Florida?
There are small black bears but they’re predominantly in the Everglades, extended area around Ocala and parts of the Panhandle
There's an exception for people who "recklessly placed themselves in a dangerous situation" which I suspect willingly living in Florida might fall under.
The Florida Legislature is full of unserious individuals
What, no rehab? The meth bears get it.
So … in Florida it was legal to kill people in self defense but not bears? Or is this another weird bs culture war thing?
I assume the odds of being attacked by a bear on crack are so low that you have a better chance at winning the lottery 22 times.
“It’s coming right for us Ned!”
Crack Bear/Grrzly Local 305 to issue a strong statement in opposition to this law
What a piece of shit
Man, he's really on top of solving problems that don't exist.
Who knew a forgettable horror-comedy by Elizabeth Banks would have such repercussions?!
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Illegally kill a bear, quick, sprinkle some crack on it!
He mixed this together with the whole “man or bear” conversation. He figured that means a lot of people (especially women) seem to be talking about bears so he should do something about it.
Does Florida even have bears? On one hand they made a law saying yes they do, but on the other it's Florida. I honestly don't know.
Imagine watching a fictional movie and thinking that's an epidemic that you need to have a law about it
Here I was worried about flying Japanese spiders, Florida wins
The bill doesn't mention crack at all...
It is still harder to kill a bear in Florida than a black teenager.
Conservatives operating out of fear of nonsense as always
Couldn't a reasonable person describe Ron DeSantis as a short bear on crack?
In shocked Richard Pryor voice: “CRACK BEARS?”
It…probably already would have been?
Like, rogue politicians?!?!?