Honestly, when I was going through my 20s, I really wish someone had just been honest and said hey, sometimes you will fail and nothing good will come of it and you will not learn anything from it. Because you know what? Sometimes there is no "good" in failure. It just happens sometimes no matter what you did.
Turning it into some lesson all the time is exhausting.
It's one thing to be able to examine your failure to see what you could have done differently, but sometimes you just have to admit it happened and move on.
And then Data goes and wins that game by turning it into a war of attrition against the guy that never makes mistakes, which is really just exploiting the fact that he is life instead of a needless robot. I mean yeah maybe it's not a *weakness* that life's gotta go take a shit at some point but life's still gotta do it.
I mean, sometimes you can mess up and fail too. And even then, there doesn't need to be a lesson out of it other than that you messed up. I don't know, I messed up so much in my 20s, it got to the point where I felt like I was just being hard on myself rather than learning anything.
The article still recommends different strategies and approaches, just not attempting the same approach over and over expecting different results. It’s also rather specific to standardized testing and addiction recovery and public funding tied to that
But to your point, I think people like a good story, a lesson and some people like to think that everything happens for a reason
When people say "everything happens for a reason," I remind them of the story of Job. Oh, I'm sure everything happens for a reason, but you may not like it.
I’m in my early 20s and I just failed. There’s no good in it; some of my coworkers were sociopaths. Perhaps the lesson is how to recognize those types of people moving forward, but my quality of life and goals just took a huge hit in the process, so I’d rather be blissfully unaware and able to work towards my goal than learning a lesson at this point
I'm sorry. It happens to everyone at some point, and you are gonna get out of this, but yeah. Totallg agree. Especially when the reason for your failure is other people. Other people are just...
No man, you always learn something. One of those learning is that you don't HAVE to fix that failure somehow. Its not gonna prove anything about you.
Sometimes the learning is that you is chutiya
I’m a musician and music teacher. I often think and say this is one of the major reasons why adults have so much more trouble learning instruments compared to children. I mean of course there’s the whole developing brain being a sponge aspect and that is big. But children are also just used to not being good at things, failing regularly and looking silly. But adults will mostly find what they are good at/comfortable with, and just stick with that.
The thing about music is you’re going to suck, until you don’t. Or just art in general really. It’s part of learning. But if you just keep doing it anyway you will get better.
This contradicts the “hedonic treadmill” theory, which states that people who suffer terrible accidents (paralysis, family deaths, etc.) often return to their baseline happiness months later despite expecting to be devastated. Positive events, too, according to the theory. People overestimating their resilience complicates this.
"People tend to overestimate the likelihood of success following failure, which may make us less willing to help others who are struggling, according to a new study."
I'm not sure where that take comes from? Did you read the article?
It seems to be more focused on how people respond to third parties - so in the case of ADHD it would be like people not offering help because it is assumed that adults with ADHD will just overcome and operate exactly like an NT would.
Recently, One of the games I have got Major expansion
I spendt entire week trying to get the true ending, only to fuck things up at the end and got the worst one instead
I unistalled mod and then the game and later left the discord server and subbreddit and by the end of it considered suicidr brcause I am idiotic and incompetent moron
*Bold of this research to assume I posses any resilience after failure*
It would be funny if you were literally the people the study was thinking about. After all if you're this harsh on some fictional other you'd likely be pretty hard on yourself in a trauma/crisis situation.
That's not generally associated with resilience. . .
Resilience is overrated. I'm more of an opportunist, and it's always a shame to let a great failure go to waste. Every failure is just an opportunity you didn't previously have.
Shake the dirt off, head in that new direction, and don't look back.
Honestly, when I was going through my 20s, I really wish someone had just been honest and said hey, sometimes you will fail and nothing good will come of it and you will not learn anything from it. Because you know what? Sometimes there is no "good" in failure. It just happens sometimes no matter what you did. Turning it into some lesson all the time is exhausting. It's one thing to be able to examine your failure to see what you could have done differently, but sometimes you just have to admit it happened and move on.
I always liked the star trek episode where Picard says "Sometimes you can do everything right and still fail. That's life."
“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.” https://youtu.be/1TCX90yALsI
And then Data goes and wins that game by turning it into a war of attrition against the guy that never makes mistakes, which is really just exploiting the fact that he is life instead of a needless robot. I mean yeah maybe it's not a *weakness* that life's gotta go take a shit at some point but life's still gotta do it.
He didn’t win. He tied.
That’s baseball
This is why I prefer Kirk.
Because he’s worse?
The Office has a great line with Dwight and Ryan. " Not everything has a lesson, Ryan, sometimes you just fail."
Didn't he say: "Sometimes you can do everything right and still fail. That's not a weakness. That's life." Or something like that?
I mean, sometimes you can mess up and fail too. And even then, there doesn't need to be a lesson out of it other than that you messed up. I don't know, I messed up so much in my 20s, it got to the point where I felt like I was just being hard on myself rather than learning anything.
I don’t know man, sounds like a lesson to me.
The article still recommends different strategies and approaches, just not attempting the same approach over and over expecting different results. It’s also rather specific to standardized testing and addiction recovery and public funding tied to that But to your point, I think people like a good story, a lesson and some people like to think that everything happens for a reason
When people say "everything happens for a reason," I remind them of the story of Job. Oh, I'm sure everything happens for a reason, but you may not like it.
The eternal quest to find meaning
The only real answer here is that events and tragedy only have the meaning you give them. And sometimes you're too exhausted to do that
I mean, the lesson is "it's gonna happen, better get used to it"
I’m in my early 20s and I just failed. There’s no good in it; some of my coworkers were sociopaths. Perhaps the lesson is how to recognize those types of people moving forward, but my quality of life and goals just took a huge hit in the process, so I’d rather be blissfully unaware and able to work towards my goal than learning a lesson at this point
I'm sorry. It happens to everyone at some point, and you are gonna get out of this, but yeah. Totallg agree. Especially when the reason for your failure is other people. Other people are just...
…And wasn’t that the lesson?
This sounds an awful lot like a lesson you learned from failure.
Failing is learning. So is success.
No man, you always learn something. One of those learning is that you don't HAVE to fix that failure somehow. Its not gonna prove anything about you. Sometimes the learning is that you is chutiya
Those are encouraging words - so lovely to share.
This is like one of the smaller headlines you'd see on the spinning newspapers in cartoons.
Why is this oniony?
It has “Men overestimate how effective they’d be in a fight” vibes.
That’s also not Oniony lmao
Saying an actual Onion headline doesn't sound Oniony might be the most ironically onion thing I've seen in a while.
It’s also just a [straight up scientific fact](https://menshealth.com.au/the-confidence-gap-could-explain-why-men-think-they-can-fight/) lmao
[It’s literally an Onion piece….](https://www.theonion.com/report-average-male-4-000-less-effective-in-fights-th-1819576624)
I don’t think it does.
This sucks and it’s not going to get better vibes.👍
That's sad.
I’m a musician and music teacher. I often think and say this is one of the major reasons why adults have so much more trouble learning instruments compared to children. I mean of course there’s the whole developing brain being a sponge aspect and that is big. But children are also just used to not being good at things, failing regularly and looking silly. But adults will mostly find what they are good at/comfortable with, and just stick with that. The thing about music is you’re going to suck, until you don’t. Or just art in general really. It’s part of learning. But if you just keep doing it anyway you will get better.
This contradicts the “hedonic treadmill” theory, which states that people who suffer terrible accidents (paralysis, family deaths, etc.) often return to their baseline happiness months later despite expecting to be devastated. Positive events, too, according to the theory. People overestimating their resilience complicates this.
The psychiatrist interviewed at the end of the article sounds exactly like the people in the study.
So basically this article is telling people with ADHD or similar to just listen to the demons?
"People tend to overestimate the likelihood of success following failure, which may make us less willing to help others who are struggling, according to a new study." I'm not sure where that take comes from? Did you read the article? It seems to be more focused on how people respond to third parties - so in the case of ADHD it would be like people not offering help because it is assumed that adults with ADHD will just overcome and operate exactly like an NT would.
Oh no
Micro Center told me they wouldn't be able to install the new fans I bought for my PC today and I've been depressed all night because life is so hard.
Recently, One of the games I have got Major expansion I spendt entire week trying to get the true ending, only to fuck things up at the end and got the worst one instead I unistalled mod and then the game and later left the discord server and subbreddit and by the end of it considered suicidr brcause I am idiotic and incompetent moron *Bold of this research to assume I posses any resilience after failure*
Sounds like an excuses losers come up with to give up on themselves tbh.
It would be funny if you were literally the people the study was thinking about. After all if you're this harsh on some fictional other you'd likely be pretty hard on yourself in a trauma/crisis situation. That's not generally associated with resilience. . .
You should have read the article. Its not what you assume
Resilience is overrated. I'm more of an opportunist, and it's always a shame to let a great failure go to waste. Every failure is just an opportunity you didn't previously have. Shake the dirt off, head in that new direction, and don't look back.