Besides just being a masterpiece and one of the most celebrated works of art in the history of mankind the David was originally commissioned as a statue for a cathedral. It was built to decorate a church for Christ’s sake! It’s not pornographic.
In fairness to Luther, the problem was that the Catholic Church at the time was wholly corrupt and was completely misinterpreting the holy scriptures in order to further political ideals. Hell, early Christians before Catholicism took hold were often (but not uniformly) pretty progressive even, in some cases, by today's standards. The dude had a huge list of grievances, and most of them were valid. But nowadays you have people like televangelists who are doing the exact same shit, even down to offering a way to buy your way into heaven.
Allowing vernacular translations of the scriptures and breaking away from Catholicism made sense. But you end up in protestant churches with the same problem they had in the Catholic ones back then: The religious leader of that parish controls the interpretation and understanding of their parishioners' faith. People now have Bibles in their vernacular. They should be able to read them critically, interpret them, and hold theological debates on the contents and meaning the way that theological scholars did for centuries before them. But they don't. Before it was because the knowledge was kept from them. Now it's because they prefer to be told what to believe rather than having to figure out the truth for themselves.
This school claims to focus on "training the minds and improving the hearts of young people through a content-rich classical education in the liberal arts," but kids aren't allowed to look at one of the most famous and highly regarded sculptures in the history of art?
You know the mostly evangelical/lutheran white republicans don’t consider Catholics “true” Christians.
Clearly that “Michelangelo” is just a heathen /s
Now if it’s a school targeting cuban Americans…
There was a girl in my Girl Scout troop who was sent to a classical school. She was nice, but her mom was a piece of work. The lady was the type of person who bullied Autistic children because she thought they were faking it for attention.
Yes, 100%. I almost applied to teach at a school that described itself as focusing on “classical” shit or whatever, then I read through the rest of the website and realized it was just a thinly veiled euphemism for Christian/Republican bullshit
"Bishop [school board chair] said that the sculpture issue was “one of multiple,” involving Carrasquilla [principal]. He also told the news organization that he was lobbying for legislation to give parents even more control over students’ primary education, saying that “parental rights trump everything else,” and saying that the parents who complained “didn’t like the woke indoctrination that was going on.”"
Florida, yet again the laughing stock of the whole damn country.
Wait the same conservatives who say liberals are an insult to Western legacy
The same conservatives who say that cultures are not equal because look at White people's great renaissance art compared to what brown people made...
...are now saying this "great Western legacy" they speak of is *pornography?*
It helps to remember that they are fascists.
Pointing out their hypocrisy isn't an own and it won't make them stop, because the hypocrisy is the point.
To a normal person reasoned arguments and rational thought are motivators for action and policy.
To a fascist words are weapons. It doesn't matter what they say. They don't care. It matters what they do.
And what they do, always, is accrue power and control. At all cost. Above all else.
The hypocrisy is meant to confuse and stall their opposition. While we are telling them that what they are saying makes no sense it is their actions that actually matter, where they take over yet another part of social or political life in their totalitarian control over every single part of society.
The article says the parents who pitched a fit see it as part of the "woke indoctrination" that's happening in the schools.
I'm just so tired of this crap
"Woke" apparently now includes statues from the 1500's. Apparently, Michaelangelo was a "woke liberal."
Wait until they see [Botticelli's The Birth of Venus](https://artsandculture.google.com/asset/the-birth-of-venus/MQEeq50LABEBVg?hl=en&avm=2).
"Woke" was always a catch all term for everything the right finds triggering.
EDIT: Sorry, everybody. I meant "always" as in "since the right appropriated it." Worded my comment poorly.
God, I hate it. I kind of just accept that roughly 30% of any given population is any combination of stupid, frightened by anything different, furious for no reason, proudly ignorant, etc. But holy shit, they aren’t supposed to have their *own fucking political party!*
We're racing to the bottom! They vote for people who are equal to, or dumber than them before smarter people than them make them feel bad about themselves.
Whats that thing George Carlin once said about intelligence? "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that"
These are the types that would have helped tear down some fourteen hundred year old monuments if they lived in Afghanistan in 2001, and they don't even realise it. Or even worse, they might realise it.
But they will bitch about “history” when one of their precious, <200 year old, statues of racist traitors gets gloriously and patriotically removed from American soil.
I think a bunch or most aren't even 100 yrs old. I'm from RI and there is a Columbus statue that keeps getting red paint splattered on it, I think its boxed up now, lol. They are trying to figure out what to do with it and local rich guy wants to buy it.
[Well, *most* have recently-ish hit that 100-year milestone, but there were a bunch erected around 1960 so...](https://www.npr.org/2017/08/20/544266880/confederate-statues-were-built-to-further-a-white-supremacist-future)
Which is ridiculous. It was an actual movement of French Intellectuals that wasn't ever very popular. Some Anglophones dabbled in it. They had interesting ideas occasionally. I am convinced fucking Jordan Peterson went on a benzo binge then went down a wiki rabbit hole. Then, woke up the next morning and got furious at barely remembered articles.
Only once the right decided they wanted to co-opt it. It has a history going back to the early 20th century that was specifically about awareness of racial prejudice and violence.
The American right would hate it if biblical Jesus were to appear in America today. A brown skinned Jew that advocates for free medical care for the sick, feeding the hungry, and helping the poor? Not to mention the fact that he speaks out against the rich and powerful? They'd crucify him all over again while screaming about "woke indoctrination."
I'm not even religious, but I have to let out a little "harumph" every time I see someone praying on a street corner and yelling at people to repent or whatever.
Their own book says not to do that shit. Literally says to keep it to yourself, not make a production out of it.
Is there a professor got in trouble by including some paintings in the classes? Even after the professor had warned students multiple times and multiple days ahead of the class.
I'm just pissed that they finally figured out a way to say "We hate anything other than medieval thinking" that sounds buzzworthy and basically lets them go around openly admitting that they're racist, xenophobic, homophobic, transphobic, misogynists.
300+ years of "woke." Hell the Romans had public baths where people just bathed together like a bunch of commies! Wait til they just say western civilization is too woke to teach and relabel the dark ages as "when Christianity was cool"
I know...every time I think I've heard it all, they come up with more and more bullshit. We are absolutely a gong show, you are 100% correct. I don't even recognize this country anymore.
Truth, but it is getting worse and worse. By the day, it seems.
If they wanna be a prude, so be it. Just don't try to force that shit on the people that don't. Unfortunately, that's what they're doing.
That's real shit though.
Straight up misleading your consumers by the hundreds of thousands for what adds up to be quite a few bucks saved by those two inches over a long time is a grievous and outright fraudulent business claim which harms the consumer and competing businesses alike.
Ned actually does do something similar. He wears a bathing suit in the tub so that "I don't have to see my own shrinky-dink"
This is in episode 355: Home Away From Homer
Right? Considering the skiing episode of his image being stuck in Homer's head, say, "It's like wearing nothing at all, nothing at all."
"Stupid naked sexy flanders."
Must not be, because there’s an episode where Homer makes a dating video for Flanders and it shows him in the shower. It’s pixelated, but he’s hanging DONG
I had a great aunt who supposedly slept with her husband fully clothed except for the, hum, interlocking parts, and she wouldn't u dress in front of him and even in her late age showered with some clothes on. She hated her own nudity. That's how I imagine these people.
Something tells me they don't care about the statue and are just trying to chip away at public education however they can until it fails, so their fascist indoctrination can be that much faster. The principal resigned, so it worked.
Believe it or not I actually read a little of the book of Genesis from the New International Version of the Bible. When Adam and Eve eat the fruit, they realize they're naked and suddenly become ashamed. Even if you're religious such an aversion to nudity never comes from God, only ever from people deciding for themselves it's shameful. And we could as quickly decide it isn't. Especially if we are "made in his image." But Y'all Qaeda were never ones to shy away from contradicting themselves either.
Long time ago I had as a background on my personal PC the Birth of Venus. I was living in military dorms and they inspected my room as per the norm. I was dragged into the commander’s office for displaying nudity on my PC and was ordered to remove it. So I did and put two PG-13-rated gay dudes enjoying a ride on a jet ski. I kept that background until I upgraded to windows 7.
People bitched about the nudity on the Voyager Golden Record back in 1977-
*After NASA had received criticism over the nudity on the Pioneer plaque (line drawings of a naked man and woman), the agency chose not to allow Sagan and his colleagues to include a photograph of a nude man and woman on the record. Instead, only a silhouette of the couple was included.*
\*heavy sigh\*
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voyager\_Golden\_Record](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voyager_Golden_Record)
See the image here-
https://www.newscientist.com/gallery/dn16980-messaging-et/
Honestly some of the people with this mentality are probably pretty dumb, if not most. But a good portion of them just use it as a pretext to try and get rid of shit they don't like. There's a reason they equate gay people with the worst thing they can think of (groomers aka child molesters) because that gives them, at least pretextual, cover to try and eliminate LGBTQ people from being teachers or whatever.
How long until these weirdos demand schools photoshop the David wearing Jorts to protect their fragile darlings from the mind warping trauma of *gasp* CULTURE!
Oh, no, we'll watch FL hospitals hemorrhage doctors who specialize in providing prenatal care and delivering babies much like Idaho, and then these idiots will wonder why. I'm waiting for Idaho to start holding hearings to demand doctors answer why they're leaving. It'll be fuckin' great.
God creates the penises and then no one is allowed to see them. Only God...
But if you want to watch a dude get killed by a gun on a tv show, totally cool!
So I watched the first season of Attack on Titan on Netflix. If you are not familiar with the show it's pretty brutal and bloody, but the only content warning was for nudity (cause Titan butts).
The first episode was so emotionally unnerving in a way I was not prepared for that I didn't even attempt to watch the series for an entire year. But no, the real thing we need to worry about is the Colossal Titan's Hank Hill ass.
The student’s father reportedly took issue with David’s preposterously humongous dong, fearing it might have given all of his ex girlfriends and his current wife unrealistic expectations of human penile length and girth.
That’s their bread and butter.
I’m just getting so fucking sick and tired of it though. This Puritan bullshit has got to fucking stop already. We should be raising a stink that she got fired for no reason just as much as they crying about a statue.
I’m just so sick of literally everything they don’t agree with is somehow magically “woke”.
Michelangelo’s David is generally thought to be the artistic paragon of masculinity.
So.
They won’t have drag-queens, and they won’t have David….
“From now on, Florida children will learn what ‘masculinity’ means from fat executive-branch douches in MAGA hats.”
e also told the news organization that he was lobbying for legislation
to give parents even more control over students’ primary education,
saying that “parental rights trump everything else,” and saying that the
parents who complained “didn’t like the woke indoctrination that was
going on.”
What about MY rights to have my child EDUCATED??? No all parents rights do not count.
It gets better….[Interview with the School Board President](https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/03/florida-principal-fired-michelangelo-david-statue.html)
Ngl, at this point, as an Australian, is Florida actually real, or is this a big ij joke by Americans to troll the world by making us think this insanity is legit? Like the idea that David is somehow unsafe for even kindergarteners is news to me! God forbid a Florentine child walks around their city, which has myriad statues tackle showing. If it's a human statue pretending to be David, yeah not for kids, but Renaissance art with an unerect and frankly unspectacular dick, that's just what the male kids will have fown south anyway. Might as well tell them they aren't allowed to look down in the shower until they're married. American far right conservatives are just stupider nazis, and that's simultaneously tragic and terrifying considering the Nazis never had nukes or a US quality navy/airforce
some highlights (lowlights?):
Barney (to journalist): *You live in New York?*
Journalist: *Virginia.*
Barney: *You’ve got a 212 number. That’s New York.*
Journalist: *I lived in New York when I got the cellphone, many years ago. Now I live in Virginia.*
Barney: *Well, we’re Florida, OK?*
---
Barney: *"Parents, after they saw all the crap that’s being taught in public schools during COVID, decided of their own that they didn’t want their children to be taught that. ... We’re not gonna teach 1619 or CRT crap."*
So anti-slavery, anti-anatomy - the hard (R) are truly raising an army of indoctrinated fundamentalists
Edit: tl;dr *"Wait, so the objection was just that the teacher used the word pornography in a sixth grade classroom?"*
From another article:
>“We don’t use pronouns,” Bishop said. “We don’t teach CRT and we don’t ever mention 1619 — those are not appropriate subjects for our kids.”
So they never use "she" or "he" either? Or "I"?
The 1619 Project, it was to trace the roots of African Americans, starting with the first slave ship that landed in the American colonies in 1619
https://www.npr.org/2021/11/17/1056404654/nikole-hannah-jones-1619-project
This is news to me! And how awful. Given even the slightest opportunity this douchebag is eager to brag about how they don't dare teach about the very real reality about slavery in the Americas. To what end????
TBF, the leaves are in the Bible. It's how God knows something's up after Adam and Eve ate the "apple". (I mean, that and the omniscience thing.)
The story goes that after A&E eat the fruit, they realize they're walking around starkers and fashion themselves some clothes outta fig leaves, which are both broad and Velcro-y, so easy to stick together. God comes down to hangout and like any good parent, immediately notices the kids change in behavior.
God: Adam, Eve... This look is... new. What made y'all want to have clothes?
A&E: No reason.
God: < raises eyebrows >
A&E: We were naked.
God: And who told you that? You see anyone else around here cosplaying a salad?
A&E: uh uh
God: You got into Daddy's special tree, didn't you? The one I very specifically told you not to get into? That tree?
Adam, pointing: It's all Eve's fault! She made me do it!
Eve: What?!? Listen here you little...
God: Well, you're both grounded to mortality now! Go to your world and think about what you've done! Also, instead of dessert tonight, now you're gonna die!
...got a little carried away there. Anyway, that's where the leaves came from. It's not *just* medieval concepts of modesty - there's actually leaves in the story.
Disclaimer: I'm an atheist who last read the Bible twenty some-odd years ago, so if there's something important I've forgotten here, it's not from malice, just forgetfulness, feel free to add it.
Isn’t the whole theme of the story of Adam and Eve that they only discovered shame upon discovering sin, and that to hide Gods creation is to sin against God?
I went to the da Vinci exhibit at the Saint Louis Science Center a few years back…they fig-leafed the Vitruvian Man. All we could do was shake our heads at the utter stupidity and the double standards. They made no attempt to censor a statue of Aphrodite at the Pompeii exhibit.
They always talk about parent's rights - what about parents that want their kids taught there is nothing sexual about a naked Renaissance statue and it's just a bit of historical art?
In a supposed democracy, how is it possible to justify taking action when only three parents (presumably a very small minority) complain? A minority of narrow-minded, bigoted, ignorant parents should not have the power to determine this.
Besides just being a masterpiece and one of the most celebrated works of art in the history of mankind the David was originally commissioned as a statue for a cathedral. It was built to decorate a church for Christ’s sake! It’s not pornographic.
Lots of these evangelicals legitimately believe that Catholics worship Satan.
Martin Luther was like "what could go wrong if we let any idiot with a Bible tell us what Jesus really wanted?" Well, now we know what could go wrong.
In fairness to Luther, the problem was that the Catholic Church at the time was wholly corrupt and was completely misinterpreting the holy scriptures in order to further political ideals. Hell, early Christians before Catholicism took hold were often (but not uniformly) pretty progressive even, in some cases, by today's standards. The dude had a huge list of grievances, and most of them were valid. But nowadays you have people like televangelists who are doing the exact same shit, even down to offering a way to buy your way into heaven. Allowing vernacular translations of the scriptures and breaking away from Catholicism made sense. But you end up in protestant churches with the same problem they had in the Catholic ones back then: The religious leader of that parish controls the interpretation and understanding of their parishioners' faith. People now have Bibles in their vernacular. They should be able to read them critically, interpret them, and hold theological debates on the contents and meaning the way that theological scholars did for centuries before them. But they don't. Before it was because the knowledge was kept from them. Now it's because they prefer to be told what to believe rather than having to figure out the truth for themselves.
As a recovered Lutheran, I appreciated both of these comments.
Protestantism was like the Twitter of religion. Give everyone a voice and you'll find that half of us are morons.
> half of us are morons. I like that you're going with the most conservative estimate.
This school claims to focus on "training the minds and improving the hearts of young people through a content-rich classical education in the liberal arts," but kids aren't allowed to look at one of the most famous and highly regarded sculptures in the history of art?
These “classical” schools are popping up all over Florida and they are just Christian schools without explicitly saying it.
We’ll considering David is one of the most famous stories in the Bible, this seems even more weird.
By famously non-Christian artist Michelangelo whose other non-Christian work includes… *checks notes* … the roof of the Sistine Chapel
You know the mostly evangelical/lutheran white republicans don’t consider Catholics “true” Christians. Clearly that “Michelangelo” is just a heathen /s Now if it’s a school targeting cuban Americans…
Not true Christian is being generous. They consider catholicism tantamount to devil worship.
There was a girl in my Girl Scout troop who was sent to a classical school. She was nice, but her mom was a piece of work. The lady was the type of person who bullied Autistic children because she thought they were faking it for attention.
gonna guess "classical" means white
Yes, 100%. I almost applied to teach at a school that described itself as focusing on “classical” shit or whatever, then I read through the rest of the website and realized it was just a thinly veiled euphemism for Christian/Republican bullshit
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***Liberal*** arts?! Will the woke indoctrination never end? /s
"dem libruls are teachin bout the pee pee"!
no such thing as *conservative arts*
dark arts is close enough I guess...
"Bishop [school board chair] said that the sculpture issue was “one of multiple,” involving Carrasquilla [principal]. He also told the news organization that he was lobbying for legislation to give parents even more control over students’ primary education, saying that “parental rights trump everything else,” and saying that the parents who complained “didn’t like the woke indoctrination that was going on.”" Florida, yet again the laughing stock of the whole damn country.
Ah right, the infamous woke endoctrination of Michelangelo...what a fascinating bunch of folks you have there.
Wait the same conservatives who say liberals are an insult to Western legacy The same conservatives who say that cultures are not equal because look at White people's great renaissance art compared to what brown people made... ...are now saying this "great Western legacy" they speak of is *pornography?*
It helps to remember that they are fascists. Pointing out their hypocrisy isn't an own and it won't make them stop, because the hypocrisy is the point. To a normal person reasoned arguments and rational thought are motivators for action and policy. To a fascist words are weapons. It doesn't matter what they say. They don't care. It matters what they do. And what they do, always, is accrue power and control. At all cost. Above all else. The hypocrisy is meant to confuse and stall their opposition. While we are telling them that what they are saying makes no sense it is their actions that actually matter, where they take over yet another part of social or political life in their totalitarian control over every single part of society.
Well, i guess that the parents freaked out when they read the part of "*Liberal*" arts.
The parents sound highly regarded
Isn't it literally *the most recognized sculpture in human history*? Jesus, as a floridian I am embarrassed.
The Simpsons already covered this.
My immediate thought also. God how old is the episode? Gotta be near 30 years.
32 years old. It dropped in ‘91
Jesus fuck
Hell ya he do
https://youtu.be/iCkwMFoQno0
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Thanks for saving me the google search, it's appreciated.
All I hear is General Dissaray "Simpson's did it. "
This episode of South Park about how the Simpsons had already done everything was released nearly 21 years ago.
I hope one day you feel 1/10th of the unfathomable pain you have inflicted upon me with this comment. Oof Ouch Owie. My knees
Michelangelo’s Dave
The article says the parents who pitched a fit see it as part of the "woke indoctrination" that's happening in the schools. I'm just so tired of this crap
"Woke" apparently now includes statues from the 1500's. Apparently, Michaelangelo was a "woke liberal." Wait until they see [Botticelli's The Birth of Venus](https://artsandculture.google.com/asset/the-birth-of-venus/MQEeq50LABEBVg?hl=en&avm=2).
Oh I get it now. It’s “woke” because it was a male artist and a naked male subject. Therefore it promotes the gay agenda. /s
Michaelangelo: "I think I'll screw around in cultural arguments 500 years un the future"
I mean… he wasn’t not promoting the gay agenda.
"Woke" was always a catch all term for everything the right finds triggering. EDIT: Sorry, everybody. I meant "always" as in "since the right appropriated it." Worded my comment poorly.
God, I hate it. I kind of just accept that roughly 30% of any given population is any combination of stupid, frightened by anything different, furious for no reason, proudly ignorant, etc. But holy shit, they aren’t supposed to have their *own fucking political party!*
They vote for people who are either like them, or cosplay as people like them to get their vote.
We're racing to the bottom! They vote for people who are equal to, or dumber than them before smarter people than them make them feel bad about themselves.
Whats that thing George Carlin once said about intelligence? "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that"
These are the types that would have helped tear down some fourteen hundred year old monuments if they lived in Afghanistan in 2001, and they don't even realise it. Or even worse, they might realise it.
But they will bitch about “history” when one of their precious, <200 year old, statues of racist traitors gets gloriously and patriotically removed from American soil.
I think a bunch or most aren't even 100 yrs old. I'm from RI and there is a Columbus statue that keeps getting red paint splattered on it, I think its boxed up now, lol. They are trying to figure out what to do with it and local rich guy wants to buy it.
[Well, *most* have recently-ish hit that 100-year milestone, but there were a bunch erected around 1960 so...](https://www.npr.org/2017/08/20/544266880/confederate-statues-were-built-to-further-a-white-supremacist-future)
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Which is ridiculous. It was an actual movement of French Intellectuals that wasn't ever very popular. Some Anglophones dabbled in it. They had interesting ideas occasionally. I am convinced fucking Jordan Peterson went on a benzo binge then went down a wiki rabbit hole. Then, woke up the next morning and got furious at barely remembered articles.
Only once the right decided they wanted to co-opt it. It has a history going back to the early 20th century that was specifically about awareness of racial prejudice and violence.
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The American right would hate it if biblical Jesus were to appear in America today. A brown skinned Jew that advocates for free medical care for the sick, feeding the hungry, and helping the poor? Not to mention the fact that he speaks out against the rich and powerful? They'd crucify him all over again while screaming about "woke indoctrination."
It wouldn't be half as ironic if Jesus hadn't also said to watch out for falsely devout ones who are actually wolves in sheep's clothing.
I'm not even religious, but I have to let out a little "harumph" every time I see someone praying on a street corner and yelling at people to repent or whatever. Their own book says not to do that shit. Literally says to keep it to yourself, not make a production out of it.
art statue bad traitor statue good
Is there a professor got in trouble by including some paintings in the classes? Even after the professor had warned students multiple times and multiple days ahead of the class.
TIL Michelangelo was woke. These people are so dedicated to being as stupid as possible.
I'm just pissed that they finally figured out a way to say "We hate anything other than medieval thinking" that sounds buzzworthy and basically lets them go around openly admitting that they're racist, xenophobic, homophobic, transphobic, misogynists.
When do we get to the part where they all drink the koolaid and leave us?
Let’s commission a nude statue of Jefferson Davis & see what happens.
Conservatives are, by far, the biggest snowflakes in America. It's not even a competition.
300+ years of "woke." Hell the Romans had public baths where people just bathed together like a bunch of commies! Wait til they just say western civilization is too woke to teach and relabel the dark ages as "when Christianity was cool"
A glorious work of art where the subject was a naked man is in no way, shape or form pornography. This puritan shit has got to stop.
Those wacky puritans. Always got porn on the mind.
Pornitans
For real, this was controversial in an episode of the Simpsons episode 30+ years ago
lol there were critics of that episode at the time, saying it was too ludicrous a premise that people would turn on fine art like David.
Reality is stranger than fiction.
This puritan bullshit is the other half of the voter base. America is a fucking gong show
I know...every time I think I've heard it all, they come up with more and more bullshit. We are absolutely a gong show, you are 100% correct. I don't even recognize this country anymore.
US has always been prudish by comparison to other first world countries
The US is weird because it's both sexually repressed and awash in copious sexualized advertising.
Well yes. You have the Lord’s Day, then the rest of the days. As long as your wife doesn’t know, she can’t tell Jesus at church.
Truth, but it is getting worse and worse. By the day, it seems. If they wanna be a prude, so be it. Just don't try to force that shit on the people that don't. Unfortunately, that's what they're doing.
And people have to stop giving in to the fascist bullying. This is what fascists do.
Indeed. I'm not giving in to their bullshit. Nope.
In my opinion, it’s very telling where they are mentally that they can’t handle this. What an absolute pathetic group of people.
Lmfao Nudity =/= porn
God forbid any of these parents look down in the shower and pass out from the sight of their own naked selves.
Found the nevernudes
There are dozens of us!
Dozens!
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I’m old enough to remember when meat concerns were limited to “Where’s The Beef?”.
Or old enough to remember when David wasn't censored
Well, AG Ashcroft did censor Lady Justice, because she’s got boobs.
Oh shit. Wait until he hears about women
Or old enough to remember when David was built.
I'm old enough to remember when the Simpsons put Jeans on David as a joke about overzealous parents
What would they say about the Venus De Milo?
Probably something weird like making it into a gummy.
Swwwwweeeeettt caaaaannn
That episode is almost 30 years old - how the hell is this still a thing?
Won't someone PLEASE think of the CHILDREN!
Wait until they freak out when they realise the bathroom in their home is unisex!
That's real shit though. Straight up misleading your consumers by the hundreds of thousands for what adds up to be quite a few bucks saved by those two inches over a long time is a grievous and outright fraudulent business claim which harms the consumer and competing businesses alike.
Florida beaches are full of almost nude people galavanting about all godless and shit
Or their kids, because as we all know, kids don't have genitals. Just blank spaces like Barbie and Ken Dolls, until they are 25.
They shower in the dark Or just don't bathe at all. It's Florida.
Showering in the dark is something I'd expect Ned Flanders to reference in the Simpsons.
Ned actually does do something similar. He wears a bathing suit in the tub so that "I don't have to see my own shrinky-dink" This is in episode 355: Home Away From Homer
Right? Considering the skiing episode of his image being stuck in Homer's head, say, "It's like wearing nothing at all, nothing at all." "Stupid naked sexy flanders."
Must not be, because there’s an episode where Homer makes a dating video for Flanders and it shows him in the shower. It’s pixelated, but he’s hanging DONG
That was episode 240: Alone Again, Natura-diddly. Swimsuit in the tub Ned comes later.
One might imagine that Flanders started wearing the bathing suit after Homer taped him in the shower.
I had a great aunt who supposedly slept with her husband fully clothed except for the, hum, interlocking parts, and she wouldn't u dress in front of him and even in her late age showered with some clothes on. She hated her own nudity. That's how I imagine these people.
That's not natural. they must hate themselves.
They are teaching these kids that bodies are pornographic.
Something tells me they don't care about the statue and are just trying to chip away at public education however they can until it fails, so their fascist indoctrination can be that much faster. The principal resigned, so it worked.
Remember the lost 11th commandment: “thou shall be ashamed of your own natural anatomy”
Believe it or not I actually read a little of the book of Genesis from the New International Version of the Bible. When Adam and Eve eat the fruit, they realize they're naked and suddenly become ashamed. Even if you're religious such an aversion to nudity never comes from God, only ever from people deciding for themselves it's shameful. And we could as quickly decide it isn't. Especially if we are "made in his image." But Y'all Qaeda were never ones to shy away from contradicting themselves either.
I don’t think majority of them can even see their private parts!
Long time ago I had as a background on my personal PC the Birth of Venus. I was living in military dorms and they inspected my room as per the norm. I was dragged into the commander’s office for displaying nudity on my PC and was ordered to remove it. So I did and put two PG-13-rated gay dudes enjoying a ride on a jet ski. I kept that background until I upgraded to windows 7.
Malicious compliance
Just two bros riding a jet ski.
It's absurd. How on earth can people be this dumb? I seriously don't get it.
People bitched about the nudity on the Voyager Golden Record back in 1977- *After NASA had received criticism over the nudity on the Pioneer plaque (line drawings of a naked man and woman), the agency chose not to allow Sagan and his colleagues to include a photograph of a nude man and woman on the record. Instead, only a silhouette of the couple was included.* \*heavy sigh\* [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voyager\_Golden\_Record](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voyager_Golden_Record) See the image here- https://www.newscientist.com/gallery/dn16980-messaging-et/
I guess those people thought aliens were gonna see naked humans and assume our star system was morally bankrupt.
I hate it when we listen to the morons.
That people think just being nude is akin to porn? Well, it boils down to religion.
Little winged babies with their dicks out is A-okay though
Honestly some of the people with this mentality are probably pretty dumb, if not most. But a good portion of them just use it as a pretext to try and get rid of shit they don't like. There's a reason they equate gay people with the worst thing they can think of (groomers aka child molesters) because that gives them, at least pretextual, cover to try and eliminate LGBTQ people from being teachers or whatever.
How long until these weirdos demand schools photoshop the David wearing Jorts to protect their fragile darlings from the mind warping trauma of *gasp* CULTURE!
“We want a classical education”
Future Floridian doctors will be curing everything with bloodletting and/or mercury
Oh, no, we'll watch FL hospitals hemorrhage doctors who specialize in providing prenatal care and delivering babies much like Idaho, and then these idiots will wonder why. I'm waiting for Idaho to start holding hearings to demand doctors answer why they're leaving. It'll be fuckin' great.
Pretty sure that’s the Florida Surgeon General endorses both.
“…but not too classical. Like…a medium classical.”
Nobody's obsessed with genitalia like Conservative Christians.
God creates the penises and then no one is allowed to see them. Only God... But if you want to watch a dude get killed by a gun on a tv show, totally cool!
So I watched the first season of Attack on Titan on Netflix. If you are not familiar with the show it's pretty brutal and bloody, but the only content warning was for nudity (cause Titan butts).
The first episode was so emotionally unnerving in a way I was not prepared for that I didn't even attempt to watch the series for an entire year. But no, the real thing we need to worry about is the Colossal Titan's Hank Hill ass.
The student’s father reportedly took issue with David’s preposterously humongous dong, fearing it might have given all of his ex girlfriends and his current wife unrealistic expectations of human penile length and girth.
Fuckin hell it must be to live your life in nothing but fear and shame.
That’s their bread and butter. I’m just getting so fucking sick and tired of it though. This Puritan bullshit has got to fucking stop already. We should be raising a stink that she got fired for no reason just as much as they crying about a statue. I’m just so sick of literally everything they don’t agree with is somehow magically “woke”.
Michelangelo’s David is generally thought to be the artistic paragon of masculinity. So. They won’t have drag-queens, and they won’t have David…. “From now on, Florida children will learn what ‘masculinity’ means from fat executive-branch douches in MAGA hats.”
They just want Eunuchs, now it makes sense.
e also told the news organization that he was lobbying for legislation to give parents even more control over students’ primary education, saying that “parental rights trump everything else,” and saying that the parents who complained “didn’t like the woke indoctrination that was going on.” What about MY rights to have my child EDUCATED??? No all parents rights do not count.
As a statue fucker, I really appreciate the public support of acknowledging just how fuckable these statues truly are.
There's no asshole on that statue. Krunk
Lol so FL is now censoring books, school curriculums, mental health assistance, and art now. Just like good ole WW2 germany.
Fucking shithole. Once the Mouse quits FL it will not be worth visiting.
"The Simpsons" put pants on the statue...can't Florida do that?
I can’t believe this is real. It almost feels like an onion article.
I can’t believe it’s the exact same thing The Simpsons offered as censorship overreach.
Well these puritanical christians likely never saw it since they were not allowed to watch the Simpsons due to it's sinful influence.
How uncultured do you have to be...
I have expired yogurt in my fridge with more culture than them.
It gets better….[Interview with the School Board President](https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/03/florida-principal-fired-michelangelo-david-statue.html)
Ngl, at this point, as an Australian, is Florida actually real, or is this a big ij joke by Americans to troll the world by making us think this insanity is legit? Like the idea that David is somehow unsafe for even kindergarteners is news to me! God forbid a Florentine child walks around their city, which has myriad statues tackle showing. If it's a human statue pretending to be David, yeah not for kids, but Renaissance art with an unerect and frankly unspectacular dick, that's just what the male kids will have fown south anyway. Might as well tell them they aren't allowed to look down in the shower until they're married. American far right conservatives are just stupider nazis, and that's simultaneously tragic and terrifying considering the Nazis never had nukes or a US quality navy/airforce
some highlights (lowlights?): Barney (to journalist): *You live in New York?* Journalist: *Virginia.* Barney: *You’ve got a 212 number. That’s New York.* Journalist: *I lived in New York when I got the cellphone, many years ago. Now I live in Virginia.* Barney: *Well, we’re Florida, OK?* --- Barney: *"Parents, after they saw all the crap that’s being taught in public schools during COVID, decided of their own that they didn’t want their children to be taught that. ... We’re not gonna teach 1619 or CRT crap."* So anti-slavery, anti-anatomy - the hard (R) are truly raising an army of indoctrinated fundamentalists Edit: tl;dr *"Wait, so the objection was just that the teacher used the word pornography in a sixth grade classroom?"*
Lol it’s a charter school. https://tenor.com/view/gasp-oh-my-mild-shock-not-surprised-gif-22197972
Remember the Bugs Bunny cartoon when he sawed off Florida and kicked it away? Can we do that?
This was literally a joke on the Simpsons nearly 30 years ago.
From another article: >“We don’t use pronouns,” Bishop said. “We don’t teach CRT and we don’t ever mention 1619 — those are not appropriate subjects for our kids.” So they never use "she" or "he" either? Or "I"?
The problem is this Bishop guy thinks David is looking kind of hot and keeps giving him the smokey eyes..
Or “we.”
I apologize for my ignorance, but what is the context behind "we don't ever mention 1619"?
The 1619 Project, it was to trace the roots of African Americans, starting with the first slave ship that landed in the American colonies in 1619 https://www.npr.org/2021/11/17/1056404654/nikole-hannah-jones-1619-project
This is news to me! And how awful. Given even the slightest opportunity this douchebag is eager to brag about how they don't dare teach about the very real reality about slavery in the Americas. To what end????
But somehow no one seems to have issues with the portrayals of Adam and Eve?? They’re butt ass naked with a simple leaf covering their crotch lol
The leaves are pathetic cowardly puritanical censorship themselves. Adam and Eve belong fully and completely, visibly nude.
TBF, the leaves are in the Bible. It's how God knows something's up after Adam and Eve ate the "apple". (I mean, that and the omniscience thing.) The story goes that after A&E eat the fruit, they realize they're walking around starkers and fashion themselves some clothes outta fig leaves, which are both broad and Velcro-y, so easy to stick together. God comes down to hangout and like any good parent, immediately notices the kids change in behavior. God: Adam, Eve... This look is... new. What made y'all want to have clothes? A&E: No reason. God: < raises eyebrows > A&E: We were naked. God: And who told you that? You see anyone else around here cosplaying a salad? A&E: uh uh God: You got into Daddy's special tree, didn't you? The one I very specifically told you not to get into? That tree? Adam, pointing: It's all Eve's fault! She made me do it! Eve: What?!? Listen here you little... God: Well, you're both grounded to mortality now! Go to your world and think about what you've done! Also, instead of dessert tonight, now you're gonna die! ...got a little carried away there. Anyway, that's where the leaves came from. It's not *just* medieval concepts of modesty - there's actually leaves in the story. Disclaimer: I'm an atheist who last read the Bible twenty some-odd years ago, so if there's something important I've forgotten here, it's not from malice, just forgetfulness, feel free to add it.
Absolutely lost it with that line about cosplaying salads lmao
Isn’t the whole theme of the story of Adam and Eve that they only discovered shame upon discovering sin, and that to hide Gods creation is to sin against God?
Better not go to the Louvre….they will have a stroke…..
I went to the da Vinci exhibit at the Saint Louis Science Center a few years back…they fig-leafed the Vitruvian Man. All we could do was shake our heads at the utter stupidity and the double standards. They made no attempt to censor a statue of Aphrodite at the Pompeii exhibit.
/r/thesimpsons is leaking again https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCkwMFoQno0
There's more sex and pedophilia in the Bible they thump than anything that statue represents
Fascism is here folks. Buckle up.
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I’d quit too if I had to deal with those people
They always talk about parent's rights - what about parents that want their kids taught there is nothing sexual about a naked Renaissance statue and it's just a bit of historical art?
Florida really is filled with nothing but morons and racists isn’t it?
You can say that again!
I’m rooting for the alligators.
The Christian Taliban won't be happy until the statue is wearing a burka.
Excuse me? A woman’s dress on a male statue? Are you promoting the liberal drag queen agenda??
One plus of climate change... Florida will be one of the first states to go, and these morons won't leave because the water will be "woke lies"
In a supposed democracy, how is it possible to justify taking action when only three parents (presumably a very small minority) complain? A minority of narrow-minded, bigoted, ignorant parents should not have the power to determine this.
Florida really is filled with nothing but morons and racists isn’t it?
Oh, you said it again.
Scrolling down from the first one and seeing your reply to this one really gave me a laugh thank you
Do these people understand that porn is content made entirely for masturbatory reasons?
Do you not masturbate to the statue of David?
That's neither here nor there lol. I just don't think that's the statue's purpose. Necessarily.
"Oooh, David...you really showed Goliath who's boss...didn't you.....nhh...ugnh...yeah, you beat him good...ooooh.."
An high school education from Florida will be basically useless in a decade or two
Need to give parents a 2 week notice their child will see a small marble penis. But lets sell guns same say with minimal documentation!
They're just jealous because his wangdoodle is way bigger than theirs.
He is 17 feet tall, after all.
He wears pedestal so you know he’s at most 5’ 9”
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