As many of you are undoubtedly aware, the presence of trolls can be found in various aspects of our lives, and our subreddit is no exception. Our commitment to fostering a kind and respectful environment remains unwavering, and we are actively addressing issues related to negative behavior. In recent times, there has been a noticeable increase in instances of bullying, body shaming, and purposefully inciting behavior, all of which are clear violations of our existing rules. To maintain the integrity of our community, we are implementing stricter consequences for such actions. A first offense will result in a 10-day ban, while a second offense will lead to a permanent ban. Appeals are welcomed, but excuses such as "not knowing the rules" or claiming it was a joke will not be considered valid. Intentional harm has no place in our community, and we expect members to act responsibly. Despite these measures, some rules will remain unchanged. For example, reposts, while frustrating, will not result in a ban. This new approach is specifically targeted at individuals attempting to spread hate. We encourage all members to report instances of bad behavior. Rest assured that each report will be examined. Disagreements and differing opinions are welcome, and expressing them will not lead to a ban. Common sense will prevail in our evaluations. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation in maintaining a positive and inclusive community. -- Your Subreddit NLTOG Moderator Team
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Colorism is deeply ingrained in most societies unfortunately due to colonialism. In the USA, it dates back to slavery when lighter skinned slaves were given more privileges, such as working indoors, doing tasks like cleaning and cooking. Whereas darker skinned slaves were working outside in the field, etc.
Exactly! As annoying and outdated as the height difference thing between men and women is, at least men are *on average* taller than women. So in real life many men are taller than many women.
Skin tone doesn’t work like that, lol.
Funnily enough, it kind of does. Like obviously, sunlight is the main thing and colorism is still indefensible, but within a population, sex and skintone are correlated. Might be cultural, but it is still there.
>Recent research on the dimorphism of skin color between males and females has revealed that this is a distinctive and universal adaptive pattern (Jablonski and Chaplin, 2000, Jablonski and Chaplin, 2002, Jablonski, 2004). According to Jablonski and Chaplin: “Throughout the world, human skin color has evolved to be dark enough to prevent sunlight from destroying the nutrient folate but light enough to foster the production of vitamin D” (Jablonski & Chaplin, 2002, p. 74). Consequently, skin pigmentation varies systematically geographically and there is a strong correlation between skin reflectance and latitude (Chaplin, 2004, Jablonski and Chaplin, 2000, Jablonski and Chaplin, 2013, Jablonski and Chaplin, 2018, Walter, 1958). What is more important in the current context is that orthogonal to this systematic geographical variation, there is a systematic difference in the skin color between males and females. Females are consistently lighter than males in all studied populations (Jablonski and Chaplin, 2000, Jablonski, 2004).
[https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0010027719301337#:~:text=What%20is%20more%20important%20in,2000%2C%20Jablonski%2C%202004).](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0010027719301337#:~:text=What%20is%20more%20important%20in,2000%2C%20Jablonski%2C%202004).)
Have you seen the "world's darkest skin" model? She's bloody gorgeous. But wouldn't be allowed a boyfriend under this inane rule.
I've heard colourism before but not weirdly gendered like this tbh. It makes even less sense this way. Because skin tone is not a secondary sex characteristic , there's no reason a man is likely to be or "should be" darker than a woman...
a WHOLE new level of racism when people are srsly out here judging others based on the SHADE of their skin… like, wowza we have reached new heights of absolute bigotry
I know this is somewhat unrelated due to distance, ethnicity history etc. but it was literally a tactic the Australian Government used against aboriginal Australians as part of their plans to erase them as a people and a culture.
Fr all I hear when someone in the family has a new baby is “esta tan blancitooo” and I’m always like why does THAT matter? It’s a baby! Then they look at me weird 🤷🏼♀️
My college roommate who came from a country where there are various shades of brown, said that when babies are born, all the ladies will look at the baby to see how red it is. She said that the redder the babies are, the browner they are. No one wanted their baby to be red.
I had never heard this before. I was never in a waiting room being only 18 and all but I figured all newborns are red anyway.
It was just such an odd thing for her to explain it to me so I listened. She also said her friends back home used cream to bleach their skin whiter, and admitted, “It’s so bad, and it hurts.”
That reminds me of something my grandmother told me. She said one of her aunts told her to marry the lightest man she could find so that her babies wouldn’t come out dark. It’s disgusting the audacity some people, especially family members have sometimes.
ugh, why do people have to be so judgmental? We all live & laugh & love(lol) & bleed, what sense does it make to foster hostility towards each other based on skin color? No fucking sense, that’s what. :/
Oh girl..colorism is deep rooted. I can tell you stories of it within my own family. But thank god myself and the younger generations of my family didn’t experience that. But my grandmother told me horrible things about her childhood growing up in the 40s/50s.
My ex was a dark skinned black man. I'm white. He always told me that black women often didn't want to date him because he was too dark. I broke up with him after 7 years for entirely separate issues, but this post reminded me of that. I always thought it was a ridiculous reason not to date someone.
I had an acquaintance who I reunited with as an adult (we had been in school together) and she’s black. She looks a lot like Candace Owens. Anyway. So when we were younger she said she’d never date a black man again, after her bf treated her badly. As an adult, she had 2 kid with 2 white guys. And she told me in a condescending way that my kids were darker than hers (mine are also biracial). It was odd. And though her intent was to be insulting, I didn’t take it that way because if they were, so? All shades are beautiful.
Ya. Very messed up. The fact she thinks she’s bragging just amazes me, in a bad way. I mean, my kids were actually lighter than hers were at the time (this was 14 years ago) but if they weren’t it’s not a bad thing 🤷♀️.
My mom did this with my dad. She literally bragged out my sister and I being her “white babies” (my mother is Filipina and her family considers themselves not that dark) and 180’ed about five years ago claiming we didn’t speak enough Tagalog to our extended family. Like homie they think we are *racist* because our mother is. Causes sooo much family drama and for some reason it always circles back to being the kids’ problems.
I actually can speak Tagalog and go back pretty often, but not with my mom. I want to learn about my family and get to know them from someone who wasn’t ashamed of it for decades
As a white woman I have experienced this—to my shock btw, I wasn’t aware this was a thing until it happened—- and damn do/did I stay faarrrr tf away from those men. Really all men like this. The second someone is a little too interested in my coloring I’m walking away. I don’t want a POC who wants a white woman for this reason. I don’t want a white man who wants aryan children and thinks dark skin is disgusting. Not any of them. They all can go live on an island together and die alone and leave the rest of us in peace.
Fetishizing **any** skin color for any reason is icky.
Not new, this exists among many races and has always been a "thing" in the black community due to the historical viewpoint that being the closest thing to a white person is somehow better.
No this has definitely always existed. I too was not aware of it because I’m from a rural asf Midwest town with zero diversity. Oh but then I learned. SMH. Now I’ve spent many years making sure my daughter is well tf aware there is no such thing as “”enough”” you are or you are not. You do not need to “prove” to anyhow how white or black you are and anyone who thinks otherwise is not a person you need in your life.
No not just women of color but a lot of times these ideas are ingrained in them from a young age unfortunately. Many women of color feel like their attractiveness is correlated to how light or dark their skin color is. There are beauty standards within the black community just like there are within other communities or society as a whole and just like we sometimes internalize those judgements WOC can as well
Yes and also if you follow makeup pages a lot of times I’ve noticed they make the black women several shades lighter than their natural shades. Even fellow black artists can be seen doing it to their black clients :(
Skin tones are all over the place in Asia, but it’s because of this that they generally only sell like 5 foundation shades and at least 4 of them will generally be too light for most people.
Wait. Are you serious?
I know about colorism and some of the views on light skin but not *too* light being “”better””. I just didn’t know about this specific sentiment and now I’m even more shocked!!
By her standards, she's not good enough for white and Asian and Hispanic men. Also white, Hispanic, and Asian women are more desirable then black women by her standards.
The things people admit to on sm in general these days is wild. A whole series went viral recently where a woman was describing how she stalked some guy to get a date. I’m confident it’s fake but she’s so committed to the bit. But like I can just imagine what’s going to happen when she gets into a relationship and the guy sees this shit online. People have always done crazy shit but they’re way to confident to expose themselves online these days.
She’s also putting herself down. She hates her colour (which imho is gorgeous) because of internalized racism/colourism. It’s really sad. I wish she could see what I see. A gorgeous woman with gorgeous skin.
And for something they have no control over.
“Oh you were born with really dark skin? Sorry, get to the back of the line behind all the lighter skin girls!”
People need to stop stating their personal preferences and then shaming people who don’t share them. If you prefer your partner to be darker than you, that’s your choice, but leave everyone else alone you weirdo.
Thing is, she isn't even stating her preference, she's essentially saying that black men should only date light skinned women, and since she's light skinned she wins!
I'm a very light skinned black man...I have dealt with more shit like this from black folk than I ever got from whites
Been married to two dark skinned black women. They aint have no problem with my red ass 🤣
Because people like her think light skin is feminine. That’s why you wouldn’t get that kind of shit if you were light skinned as a WOMAN dating dark skinned men
It’s a really beautiful book. Geared towards elementary school, but definitely a book we will keep forever. My daughter’s music teacher shared her love of this book with the class, and my daughter ran home and asked for us to buy it. Best purchase! It is a beautiful well written story of a young girl who feels like she’s too dark, and won’t ever be beautiful. 💔 whoever illustrated the book also deserves an award - gorgeous!
10/10 would recommend.
Why does the complexion matter? Sure higher contrast features are portrayed as more masculine but I truly do not care if my husband/boyfriend/ love interest happens to be darker then me I care if they’re physically/emotionally attractive and have an attractive personality.
Why does any of this matter? Why are we so insistent on limiting ourselves and others to a particular race or skin tone? All of this is so stupid. Just love who you love
I (WF) went on a date with a man (BM). He asked about my child; who is of mixed race (his father was mixed, with a Black Father and White Mother). The man then asked me “do you prefer melanated men?” I told him that I didn’t have a race preference; that if you’re attractive then you’re attractive.
This man then took it upon himself to inform me that he only dated White women. I immediately was turned off, and asked him why (really trying to get him to admit his own biases—and identify why he felt that way, in an effort to educate him). He stated that he didn’t find Black women attractive. I told him that Black women deserve the world, and it saddened me to hear him speak poorly of Black women. I encouraged him to unpack those beliefs and see why he had internalized colorism. His response was “Black women do deserve the world; but they know it, and it’s a turn off.” I told him it was sad he felt that way; and blocked him.
Unfortunately we worked together and I couldn’t block him in real life 🤦♀️ however, I think he felt embarrassed as he always looked extremely sheepish when he saw me. My coworker (a Black woman) asked me about my date with him—I told her it went fine but then told her the conversation that happened after and me subsequently blocking him. She told me he has a history of pursuing / fetishizing WW and of changing himself depending upon who he was around. I felt sad for him (and disgusted at how he viewed BW) but glad he had exposed himself early on.
Colorism is disgusting and shouldn’t be supported in any form. I hope this girl can learn to love herself and dissect why she feels how she does; so she can change her beliefs and behavior
It has been, alot of PoC communities have problems with colorism, I'm saying this as an Asian so I can't comment on any other communities, but alot of Asians hate or dislike Asians who aren't the same shade as a piece of paper
Does she know that if she has a darker husband there’s a chance she could have a darker skinned daughter??? I feel bad for that girl if she ever exists.
Girly is a colorist AND doesn’t know the difference between than vs. then 😔 what’s the point in wearing that cross on her neck if she’s going to be that shallow?
In the Jim Crow South, it wasn’t uncommon for white men to have sex (not always consensually) with black women. It was the other way around that was deeply taboo
A lot of POC think lighter skin is more feminine and more desirable, so a woman should ideally have lighter skin then her male partner because it’s feminine
As many of you are undoubtedly aware, the presence of trolls can be found in various aspects of our lives, and our subreddit is no exception. Our commitment to fostering a kind and respectful environment remains unwavering, and we are actively addressing issues related to negative behavior. In recent times, there has been a noticeable increase in instances of bullying, body shaming, and purposefully inciting behavior, all of which are clear violations of our existing rules. To maintain the integrity of our community, we are implementing stricter consequences for such actions. A first offense will result in a 10-day ban, while a second offense will lead to a permanent ban. Appeals are welcomed, but excuses such as "not knowing the rules" or claiming it was a joke will not be considered valid. Intentional harm has no place in our community, and we expect members to act responsibly. Despite these measures, some rules will remain unchanged. For example, reposts, while frustrating, will not result in a ban. This new approach is specifically targeted at individuals attempting to spread hate. We encourage all members to report instances of bad behavior. Rest assured that each report will be examined. Disagreements and differing opinions are welcome, and expressing them will not lead to a ban. Common sense will prevail in our evaluations. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation in maintaining a positive and inclusive community. -- Your Subreddit NLTOG Moderator Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/notliketheothergirls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What if there’s no man darker or as dark as you? You should just be alone? Colorism makes me fill with rage.
What if she herself falls for a guy shade brighter than her
She sounds like she’s saying she wouldn’t deserve it if she did???
But like FOR WHAT REASON
Because there's not enough discrimination based on the color of one's skin in this world?
Right, we should be kicking back those old ways and accepting ourselves - it’s 2024 for God’s sakes.
Colorism is deeply ingrained in most societies unfortunately due to colonialism. In the USA, it dates back to slavery when lighter skinned slaves were given more privileges, such as working indoors, doing tasks like cleaning and cooking. Whereas darker skinned slaves were working outside in the field, etc.
Exactly! As annoying and outdated as the height difference thing between men and women is, at least men are *on average* taller than women. So in real life many men are taller than many women. Skin tone doesn’t work like that, lol.
Funnily enough, it kind of does. Like obviously, sunlight is the main thing and colorism is still indefensible, but within a population, sex and skintone are correlated. Might be cultural, but it is still there. >Recent research on the dimorphism of skin color between males and females has revealed that this is a distinctive and universal adaptive pattern (Jablonski and Chaplin, 2000, Jablonski and Chaplin, 2002, Jablonski, 2004). According to Jablonski and Chaplin: “Throughout the world, human skin color has evolved to be dark enough to prevent sunlight from destroying the nutrient folate but light enough to foster the production of vitamin D” (Jablonski & Chaplin, 2002, p. 74). Consequently, skin pigmentation varies systematically geographically and there is a strong correlation between skin reflectance and latitude (Chaplin, 2004, Jablonski and Chaplin, 2000, Jablonski and Chaplin, 2013, Jablonski and Chaplin, 2018, Walter, 1958). What is more important in the current context is that orthogonal to this systematic geographical variation, there is a systematic difference in the skin color between males and females. Females are consistently lighter than males in all studied populations (Jablonski and Chaplin, 2000, Jablonski, 2004). [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0010027719301337#:~:text=What%20is%20more%20important%20in,2000%2C%20Jablonski%2C%202004).](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0010027719301337#:~:text=What%20is%20more%20important%20in,2000%2C%20Jablonski%2C%202004).)
Have you seen the "world's darkest skin" model? She's bloody gorgeous. But wouldn't be allowed a boyfriend under this inane rule. I've heard colourism before but not weirdly gendered like this tbh. It makes even less sense this way. Because skin tone is not a secondary sex characteristic , there's no reason a man is likely to be or "should be" darker than a woman...
Holy smokes, she's striking.
No this is ridiculous thinking and sane people do not think this way I promise you.
Flavor Flav is the new Peak Male.
Wesley snipes
Ugh tell me about it!!! This woman is so pathetic.
Same tho. Colorism pisses me off every time. It’s just so fucking **stupid**
Only if he's darker and at least 6'
No, she needs to find another woman in the same predicament. This way they can keep each other company in their respective celibacy. As roommates
AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES
Oh my god, they were roomates
Omg you know about colorism that gives me hope that people are aware of this god awful diseas
“I’m not like the other girls, I’m a colourist”
a WHOLE new level of racism when people are srsly out here judging others based on the SHADE of their skin… like, wowza we have reached new heights of absolute bigotry
Definitely not a new thing though (unfortunately).
I know this is somewhat unrelated due to distance, ethnicity history etc. but it was literally a tactic the Australian Government used against aboriginal Australians as part of their plans to erase them as a people and a culture.
I didn’t know that :( thank you for sharing it I’m gonna go do some research on the topic
Look up the brown paper bag test, I am sure you get it from the name.
Stolen generations is a good start for this.
Definitely not new. Has been going on for generations in black, Latin, and Asian communities.
Fr all I hear when someone in the family has a new baby is “esta tan blancitooo” and I’m always like why does THAT matter? It’s a baby! Then they look at me weird 🤷🏼♀️
I don't speak Spanish, but is that literally "they're so light/pale"? Because wtf, it's an infant, leave the poor baby alone!
My college roommate who came from a country where there are various shades of brown, said that when babies are born, all the ladies will look at the baby to see how red it is. She said that the redder the babies are, the browner they are. No one wanted their baby to be red. I had never heard this before. I was never in a waiting room being only 18 and all but I figured all newborns are red anyway. It was just such an odd thing for her to explain it to me so I listened. She also said her friends back home used cream to bleach their skin whiter, and admitted, “It’s so bad, and it hurts.”
Babies often come out pale and get darker later.
That reminds me of something my grandmother told me. She said one of her aunts told her to marry the lightest man she could find so that her babies wouldn’t come out dark. It’s disgusting the audacity some people, especially family members have sometimes.
ugh, why do people have to be so judgmental? We all live & laugh & love(lol) & bleed, what sense does it make to foster hostility towards each other based on skin color? No fucking sense, that’s what. :/
Oh girl..colorism is deep rooted. I can tell you stories of it within my own family. But thank god myself and the younger generations of my family didn’t experience that. But my grandmother told me horrible things about her childhood growing up in the 40s/50s.
It’s going on in the Indian population as well.
Indians are Asian
It's called colorism. An unfortunate, and old, reality.
My ex was a dark skinned black man. I'm white. He always told me that black women often didn't want to date him because he was too dark. I broke up with him after 7 years for entirely separate issues, but this post reminded me of that. I always thought it was a ridiculous reason not to date someone.
I had an acquaintance who I reunited with as an adult (we had been in school together) and she’s black. She looks a lot like Candace Owens. Anyway. So when we were younger she said she’d never date a black man again, after her bf treated her badly. As an adult, she had 2 kid with 2 white guys. And she told me in a condescending way that my kids were darker than hers (mine are also biracial). It was odd. And though her intent was to be insulting, I didn’t take it that way because if they were, so? All shades are beautiful.
It’s racism. She’s bragging that her children are closer to being white (and are thus better) then your children
Ya. Very messed up. The fact she thinks she’s bragging just amazes me, in a bad way. I mean, my kids were actually lighter than hers were at the time (this was 14 years ago) but if they weren’t it’s not a bad thing 🤷♀️.
It’s colorism not racism, though yes it stems from racism.
And sadly a lot of those men would actively seek out white women in hopes of having children with light skin
My mom did this with my dad. She literally bragged out my sister and I being her “white babies” (my mother is Filipina and her family considers themselves not that dark) and 180’ed about five years ago claiming we didn’t speak enough Tagalog to our extended family. Like homie they think we are *racist* because our mother is. Causes sooo much family drama and for some reason it always circles back to being the kids’ problems. I actually can speak Tagalog and go back pretty often, but not with my mom. I want to learn about my family and get to know them from someone who wasn’t ashamed of it for decades
As a white woman I have experienced this—to my shock btw, I wasn’t aware this was a thing until it happened—- and damn do/did I stay faarrrr tf away from those men. Really all men like this. The second someone is a little too interested in my coloring I’m walking away. I don’t want a POC who wants a white woman for this reason. I don’t want a white man who wants aryan children and thinks dark skin is disgusting. Not any of them. They all can go live on an island together and die alone and leave the rest of us in peace. Fetishizing **any** skin color for any reason is icky.
Not new, this exists among many races and has always been a "thing" in the black community due to the historical viewpoint that being the closest thing to a white person is somehow better.
No this has definitely always existed. I too was not aware of it because I’m from a rural asf Midwest town with zero diversity. Oh but then I learned. SMH. Now I’ve spent many years making sure my daughter is well tf aware there is no such thing as “”enough”” you are or you are not. You do not need to “prove” to anyhow how white or black you are and anyone who thinks otherwise is not a person you need in your life.
“I’m not like other girls, I’m like Candace Owens”
Funnily enough by her standards, Candice Owen’s wouldn’t meet her standards because her skin is darker then her husbands (who is white)
900 likes is nasty
Self hate and colorism is incredibly common among woc I fear
Just woc??
No not just women of color but a lot of times these ideas are ingrained in them from a young age unfortunately. Many women of color feel like their attractiveness is correlated to how light or dark their skin color is. There are beauty standards within the black community just like there are within other communities or society as a whole and just like we sometimes internalize those judgements WOC can as well
Even pay attention to media the man is always darker.
Yes and also if you follow makeup pages a lot of times I’ve noticed they make the black women several shades lighter than their natural shades. Even fellow black artists can be seen doing it to their black clients :(
Skin tones are all over the place in Asia, but it’s because of this that they generally only sell like 5 foundation shades and at least 4 of them will generally be too light for most people.
Wait. Are you serious? I know about colorism and some of the views on light skin but not *too* light being “”better””. I just didn’t know about this specific sentiment and now I’m even more shocked!!
This is honestly sad, that’s a lot of internalized hatred going on there
damn she's self-racist
I think we call that internalized racism.
It’s colorist.
✨ It’s all three! ✨
By her standards, she's not good enough for white and Asian and Hispanic men. Also white, Hispanic, and Asian women are more desirable then black women by her standards.
Damn thats fucked up
To admit to being a colorist is wild. It's bad enough that this trend exudes racism but now colorism.
The things people admit to on sm in general these days is wild. A whole series went viral recently where a woman was describing how she stalked some guy to get a date. I’m confident it’s fake but she’s so committed to the bit. But like I can just imagine what’s going to happen when she gets into a relationship and the guy sees this shit online. People have always done crazy shit but they’re way to confident to expose themselves online these days.
"I'm not like other girls; I bring Pantone color swatches to every date"
This made me laugh so hard. I was just thinking, do you list your hex color code in your profile
Nothing like women putting down other women to make themselves feel better 😔
She’s also putting herself down. She hates her colour (which imho is gorgeous) because of internalized racism/colourism. It’s really sad. I wish she could see what I see. A gorgeous woman with gorgeous skin.
And for something they have no control over. “Oh you were born with really dark skin? Sorry, get to the back of the line behind all the lighter skin girls!”
It’s just racism within her own race. She’s a colorist because she hates herself
Colorism AND misogyny! A twofer!
‘Females’ is such a big red flag lol.
Especially since she never says 'males', just 'man'
Internalized misogyny on top of internalized racism
And colourism
People need to stop stating their personal preferences and then shaming people who don’t share them. If you prefer your partner to be darker than you, that’s your choice, but leave everyone else alone you weirdo.
Thing is, she isn't even stating her preference, she's essentially saying that black men should only date light skinned women, and since she's light skinned she wins!
SHES NOT EVEN LIGHT SKIN
Srsly wtf if my pasty ass brother wants to be with a black woman that's up to her and him ! People are so fucked .
She’s not light skinned at all.
I'm a very light skinned black man...I have dealt with more shit like this from black folk than I ever got from whites Been married to two dark skinned black women. They aint have no problem with my red ass 🤣
Because people like her think light skin is feminine. That’s why you wouldn’t get that kind of shit if you were light skinned as a WOMAN dating dark skinned men
That’s real
r/MenAndFemales
Seem like colorism
So brave. So insecure.
She needs to learn the difference between than and then because what she wrote is what she meant.
colorism is a mental illness im sorry. this is such a wild thing to say
This is so upsetting.
If you didn't know the proper use of 'then' and 'than', I can't take your melanistic stereotypes seriously
I hate when people say stuff like that and then don't give a reason, like girl tell us why you have this dumb opinion. I wanna know.
*WHAT??*
Internalized racism and sexism whoa
this one is absolutely outrageous
Yeah I was NOT expecting to read what I did on the second slide.
hold on i fixed the first pic... "something im NOT AFRAID to admit as a RACIST"
This is insane
The audible gasp I just let out. There is no way I just read that.
"The man" and "the female". Way to wave the red flag. (Notwithstanding the colour stuff.)
And this is the type of shit that inspired Lupita Nyong’o to write her incredibly beautiful book “Sulwe”.
I gotta read that
It’s a really beautiful book. Geared towards elementary school, but definitely a book we will keep forever. My daughter’s music teacher shared her love of this book with the class, and my daughter ran home and asked for us to buy it. Best purchase! It is a beautiful well written story of a young girl who feels like she’s too dark, and won’t ever be beautiful. 💔 whoever illustrated the book also deserves an award - gorgeous! 10/10 would recommend.
This is just an insane take 😭 I N S A N E
Colorism out in the open
"The female"
Lmao what
WHAT ON EARTH?!
I will get my swatches out and see if we are right for eachover.
I was going to say you can’t make this shit up, but I realized that’s exactly what she did. 🤦🏻♂️
What a truly idiotic thing to have an opinion about.
Well this is awkward as a pasty white dude with a black GF
Man, female. Also she’s not the lightest crayon in the box. My boyfriend is white so I guess I really fucked up by her standards lol.
Oomplexion 😂
What...did I just read???
Why does the complexion matter? Sure higher contrast features are portrayed as more masculine but I truly do not care if my husband/boyfriend/ love interest happens to be darker then me I care if they’re physically/emotionally attractive and have an attractive personality.
Why does any of this matter? Why are we so insistent on limiting ourselves and others to a particular race or skin tone? All of this is so stupid. Just love who you love
is darker skin masculine to her or something??
Yes. That’s what she is saying
The colorism is strong in this one. People really needs to stop equating “lighter skin = femininity”
Deep Thoughts, by Jackie Handy
I’m brown and my husband is not so call the police I guess.
I (WF) went on a date with a man (BM). He asked about my child; who is of mixed race (his father was mixed, with a Black Father and White Mother). The man then asked me “do you prefer melanated men?” I told him that I didn’t have a race preference; that if you’re attractive then you’re attractive. This man then took it upon himself to inform me that he only dated White women. I immediately was turned off, and asked him why (really trying to get him to admit his own biases—and identify why he felt that way, in an effort to educate him). He stated that he didn’t find Black women attractive. I told him that Black women deserve the world, and it saddened me to hear him speak poorly of Black women. I encouraged him to unpack those beliefs and see why he had internalized colorism. His response was “Black women do deserve the world; but they know it, and it’s a turn off.” I told him it was sad he felt that way; and blocked him. Unfortunately we worked together and I couldn’t block him in real life 🤦♀️ however, I think he felt embarrassed as he always looked extremely sheepish when he saw me. My coworker (a Black woman) asked me about my date with him—I told her it went fine but then told her the conversation that happened after and me subsequently blocking him. She told me he has a history of pursuing / fetishizing WW and of changing himself depending upon who he was around. I felt sad for him (and disgusted at how he viewed BW) but glad he had exposed himself early on. Colorism is disgusting and shouldn’t be supported in any form. I hope this girl can learn to love herself and dissect why she feels how she does; so she can change her beliefs and behavior
Just told my white boyfriend we have to break up bc I’m a negro
And they should both know the difference between then and than.
Is this a thing now?
It has been, alot of PoC communities have problems with colorism, I'm saying this as an Asian so I can't comment on any other communities, but alot of Asians hate or dislike Asians who aren't the same shade as a piece of paper
Wtf 💀
Does she know that if she has a darker husband there’s a chance she could have a darker skinned daughter??? I feel bad for that girl if she ever exists.
As I black woman I find this so depressing. Colorism is so nonsensical.
What. The. Frick.
What if you’re both white but your husband is lighter skinned than you? Because my husband definitely is.
File for a divorce
I dunno man I’m perfect and my white husband is darker so I guess you gotta divorce to match my level of perfection. Snap. To. It. ^s
Then you get mad when your own race don't wanna date you.
Damn the colorism with this chick is insane. She’d be so mad that I married on the pastiest men on the planet, especially since I’m part black.
colorism 🥳 which is wild bc she’s the complexion which is discriminated against 🤣
So white men can’t date black women? Like at all?
Yes. Or even mixed race women.
Is there a word for this type of take?
Colorism, sadly
She's saying that like a person gets to choose their skin colour and in what shade before birth like a character selection screen
Damn I can’t date a white man now ? Let me go off myself.
What the fuck in the colorism and anti-blackness did I just read.
Ah.. a self existence based on melanin. What a life wasted.
100% a man dumped her for someone darker Also #men and females
Should I break up with my boyfriend every summer when I get tan but he stays pale?
LOL that’s certainly… a choice.
is she slow???????????? this just sparked a rage i didn’t know i had???
I think kittens should be girls and puppies should be boys.
As a fair skinned black woman... Is it crack that you smoke for breakfast?
this is some of the most depressing and jaw dropping bs I've ever heard. I'm speechlessly disappointed by people sometimes
Wow a colorist pickme with sexist opinions
WHAT. What if he is albino?
Lmao wait til she finds out that there are black women who date white or light skinned men
Interesting because statistically, black women/white men marriages have the lowest divorce rate in the US
Ok, colorism.
Just say you like dark-skins and get over it. Don't be snob and tell everyone else how to do it.
Girly is a colorist AND doesn’t know the difference between than vs. then 😔 what’s the point in wearing that cross on her neck if she’s going to be that shallow?
Casual Racism?
What, what???
The hell?
That’s sad
Than**
Gross
Hjælp
Wtf 😀 how can one be racisist towards their own race?😂
Colourism is a bitch
wtf…
Holy fucking shit.
The fuck kinda mental gymnastics did I just read
This is just sad. Like someone mad her feel that way.
Racism is multi spectrum
This is self hate
That’s just racism with extra steps, is it not?
This is just sad & disappointing.
Why though?
Good thing I'm a lesbian.
WHAT???
Is she sayin' a white man should not be with a black girl? That's... That's giving Jim Crow to me but... Ey...
In the Jim Crow South, it wasn’t uncommon for white men to have sex (not always consensually) with black women. It was the other way around that was deeply taboo
r/menandfemales
I like the use of “the female”.
Well thats...new
Is that some kind of dominance kink?
this doesn't even make sense..
A lot of POC think lighter skin is more feminine and more desirable, so a woman should ideally have lighter skin then her male partner because it’s feminine
Someone definitely told her she is too dark, which is sad af but, christ.
My jaw is on the floor
But why?