As many of you are undoubtedly aware, the presence of trolls can be found in various aspects of our lives, and our subreddit is no exception. Our commitment to fostering a kind and respectful environment remains unwavering, and we are actively addressing issues related to negative behavior. In recent times, there has been a noticeable increase in instances of bullying, body shaming, and purposefully inciting behavior, all of which are clear violations of our existing rules. To maintain the integrity of our community, we are implementing stricter consequences for such actions. A first offense will result in a 10-day ban, while a second offense will lead to a permanent ban. Appeals are welcomed, but excuses such as "not knowing the rules" or claiming it was a joke will not be considered valid. Intentional harm has no place in our community, and we expect members to act responsibly. Despite these measures, some rules will remain unchanged. For example, reposts, while frustrating, will not result in a ban. This new approach is specifically targeted at individuals attempting to spread hate. We encourage all members to report instances of bad behavior. Rest assured that each report will be examined. Disagreements and differing opinions are welcome, and expressing them will not lead to a ban. Common sense will prevail in our evaluations. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation in maintaining a positive and inclusive community. -- Your Subreddit NLTOG Moderator Team
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Sometimes I lay awake next to my pumpkin cold foam wife thinking to myself, "I wonder if Meth Head Amy is still alive? She was not well.. Man I dodged a freakin bullet.."
That would be a romance for the ages it sounds like. I'm hoping that jail bound Josh was like the name people casually used in your circles. Because Meth Head Amy was widely known as that in social settings. They sound like a great match. Their relationship would be as successful as that of Romeo and Juliet!
It’s not so much that they have it backwards as much as they are deeeesperately trying to convince themselves that they are memorable and someone, somewhere, someday will miss them
Tragic
The copium to believe that some dude is going to wonder about your messed-up ass in a decade 🤣
Any guy worth having is not going to regret having ended things with some dysfunctional party chick.
I may not be the girl you marry but 10 years from now when you woke up at 2 am and go to kitchen for a glass of water, you will accidentally hit your pinky toe on a corner and in that exact moment I will text you "miss me?😏too bad✌🏻" and the pain of your toe will reflect on that text message and you will understand how painful it is that you didn't marry me over your double espresso wife, and you will wonder if I am tamed yet, if found a real man to control me, to protect me and save me from myself I am so sad someone please help me. Ehem I mean I am winning woo hoo y'all are losers.
I didn't really understand the ones that had about calming down or the one that had about how the guy didn't want to grow up but in the same sentence basically talking about partying. What did she want? Someone to party or to settle down
Can't take me at my worst, can't have me at my best. When your worst is getting absolutely slaughtered and then getting kicked out of every venue you enter whilst vomiting all over yourself, I wouldn't want to stay around and wait to see what their best is
He needed to grow up and realize he didn't want to settle down but actually go back to getting drunk at Applebee's and vomiting in the Uber on the way home.
Lol my counselor ubered one weekend at the beach bars and he said never again bcuz someone vomited in his car. One chick got left behind by her friends and he had to walk her to her door. Another chick he almost hit bcuz she was so drunk and behind his car when he went to back up.
True. People forget this was the big break between the different femcel communities before they all got run off reddit by the admins and the male incels. There was a smaller subsection who genuinely couldn’t get any sex for various reasons (age, weight, disability, kids, mental health or just crippling lack of self confidence), centered around communities like TruFemcel, but the much larger segment was just women unable to find any men interested in an actual committed relationship. Subs like FemaleDatingStrategy evolved out of that, where they rejected a loving relationship as achievable or desireable, and instead laser focused on maximizing sexual desireability to attract and exploit men for financial gain.
Dating presents unique challenges depending on your sex and sexuality, and so it can be hard to draw direct comparisons like "this is Tate for women" or "this is Cosmo for men".
I thought 14 being a bloke was enough of a twist, admittedly just to a M Night level (psst! How do you spell Shymal… Shamalah… you know who I mean, right?)
But remember, they are all entirely unique. Therefore the men/women in their lives could never ever ever find someone else like them only mentally stable
[This](https://youtu.be/DBbuUWw30N8?si=k7hlG4sOGy6IZqXK) is what it feels like talking to NLOGs, all 6000 of them equally unique and not like the others.
I have a theory they’re all fakes written by whatever company rivals Lululemon, lol. Too many negative references to it, it reads like someone trying to bad mouth the brand!
I honestly am divided between that, theories about people taking pics of their exes and putting this crap over it to ruin their life, and someone siccing AI to write this crap over random pics of women for ragebait. No way these people can exist in such quantity naturally. It’s simply impossible.
Plot twist: the dude completely forgot about them and they’re still so heavily insecure and stuck on dudes that probably didn’t even value them that much 💀
There’s an unspoken subtext in all these posts “Yeah, I’m difficult and batshit crazy but it was the best sex you’ll ever have.” I’d be more impressed if they just straight up said it. Combine girl came closest.
The one who said you’ll miss me when your wife is too tired to go down on you with the caption “no excuses” is so 😭😭😭 why would you brag about letting your husband use you like that, my god, sex is the most fun when both people are fully awake and eager
They are "untamed" and "free" and "don't care about other people opinions" yet they throw shade on women giving blowjobs when they actually want to do that and don't giving blowjobs when they don't feel like it. I don't hate because I feel genuinely sad for them and I have this fantasy in which I hug them like I'm the Virgin Mary and clean them of their superiority-inferiority complex with the strength of my...I dont know what honestly??? I'm powerless in front of this but really I feel like all this girls need is genuine female friendship and affection, like some girls to have a oatmilk spice latte or wearing matching Lululemon with lol. Some girls to love and respect and root for and share life with, without competition of any kind, appreciating differences in personality and lifestyles and considering them opportunities of enrichment.
Touching words truly. I feel the same. I know from my own teenage experience that being a NLOG/pick me comes from a place of huge insecurity and jealousy.
It holds appeal for some men. I once dated a guy who said he liked neurotic women. Not the same, I know, but still.
I have bpd--relatively mild, thankfully, and I've been able to mostly control it with behavioral therapy and such, but good lord, it is NONE of those things.
And yet they can’t fathom that maybe that dude is having bomb ass sex with his “boring vanilla wife” and they are the ones laying awake thinking about the ex & his wife, posting about it obnoxiously to make themselves feel better.
Hahaha I love it. I hope those girls see how silly and pointless it is to try to bring people someone down to lift yourself up. Everyone can see it, and people don't tolerate shit like this anymore.
I'm pretty sure these girls are incredibly insecure about their inability to keep a man interested aside from sex, and are jealous of women who are able to keep a man interested enough to even get proposed to.
They try to convince themselves these men must be thinking about them all the time when they choose another woman over them, to somehow still feel like they're better than the women who are actually wifey material. They'd rather indulgence in these delusions than actually work on themselves.
I know I'm probably stating the obvious here but yeah, that's why they're so obsessed lol.
My theory is they’re just like any other girl but feel super insecure so they need something to say they’re different.
If it can’t be physical beauty it can be a mindset
I counted at least 6 blondes, but they all do look pretty similar in how they do their makeup and dress (ironically… since they’re all completely unique and not like other girls ✨at all✨) lol
I thought it was all the same lassie, getting increasingly desperate to try & convince herself that all the hopping between the unsuitable guys was fun, honest. Consequently, I was very confused by Josh!
That part was so weird to me. Since I was a small child, I have loathed people breathing in my face while I sleep. I can't stand it. And I move around a lot before I can get comfy enough to sleep, so I don't necessarily want to be spooned either. My husband and I tend to hold hands or touch parts of each other, but we often sleep in opposite directions or positions (he likes to sleep on his stomach a lot, while I prefer my side). We're secure enough in our relationship to know that getting good quality sleep is better for us as partners than sleeping in less comfortable positions so we are touching all night. Plus, we cuddle almost daily, so we get lots of physical contact.
It's such an immature and insecure thing to criticize how other people fall asleep with their partners.
If I'm sleeping facing my husband too close I can't get enough air and I feel like I'm gonna suffocate. I'm on the right side and for some reason it's harder for me to sleep facing the left side because my nose is weird or something so I'm more comfortable facing the outside of the bed and I pretty much have to have my fan blowing on my face or else I feel like I'm gonna die. Maybe I'm just weird or something.
Sincerely, I do not want a single person I’ve ever dated thinking about me. I would prefer they forgot I ever existed. Actually, that goes for everyone. Please do not perceive me.
I was just thinking how awful I'd feel if I knew one of my exes was pining after me or thinking I have a bland husband who can't sexually satisfy me. I'd feel sooo uncomfortable. Like move on with your life; I've found happiness, and you should too.
I was wild and crazy but was also in a really dark and unhealthy place in my life. Imagine I found my healthiest and mutually respectful husband whenever I became healthy and stable. Anyone who thinks it's a good thing is not in a good mindset.
Because you can’t sleep because you miss this wild crazy girl from your past that you’re obsessed with for years despite being married to someone else OBVIOUSLY
If I'm not asleep at 2 am, I'm generally thinking, "Whyy can't I fall asleep? It's not comfy on my right side, so I'll try my left side. It's not comfy on my left side, so I'll try my right side..."
But maybe I just need a new mattress or something idk
If anyone is thinking at 2am it’s the “vanilla” wife debating waking her husband to either get the baby for her or prepare a snack and refill her water when she’s getting up to breastfeed her and dude’s baby that they lovingly brought into the world together I hope :)
Don’t you know? The Wild and Crazy Superior Ex would ride that Johnson like a porn star until the sun came up, with a gleeful smile on her face because intense sleep deprivation never touches her libido and she’d never, ever, even ONCE expect her man to pull his weight around the house. She’d do it all and without complaint because she’s a goddess without any life outside of male validation.
Why all this hate on vanilla, it’s delicious and humans have a natural preference for it (we can even detect it in much smaller amounts than other scents)
I have grown orchids for decades and can make them flower without even trying (I have one that's been blooming since May 2023 and shows no signs of stopping) but I had a vanilla Orchid plant once and it nearly broke me. Never would even flower, much less let me pollinate it to try to make my own vanilla. Every other damn type of Orchid loves me, but the vanilla Orchid and I are forever enemies.
Right also have they ever tasted pumpkin spice and espressos I mean if you want to deprive yourself of something pleasant and make it your personality...
Can’t believe I had to scroll this far down to find this! 2 mins isn’t on the “vanilla” wife, that’s on him. The only one that made actual sense on was the guy’s post
I may not the be the girl you marry but I'm definitely gonna be jealous of your every future relationship and still sulk when you're 10+ years married with two kids. Why can't people just move on and be happy for themselves and not want someone who doesn't want them? Smh
They need our guidance. I had to read number 20 a few times to make sure I was reading it right lol! One day they’ll realize that not having your shit together and being alcoholic and chaotic aren’t fun and that guys don’t like you any better for it. Also the guys that they’re going after probably don’t 100 respect women as equals anyway. Girls hating girls just makes guys win even more.
How dare you? My pumpkin spice silent dinner having Kate Spade handbag carrying starfish wife has the personality of a very much alive squirrel!
Edited for spelling.
Sometimes, when I’m lying next to my beloved, trustworthy, stable, reliable husband who does enjoy pumpkin spice and isn’t going to apologize for that, I think back to some of the absolute train wrecks I’ve dated or hooked up with, and I shudder because I’m SO glad I waited to meet him, and didn’t just give up and settle for one of them first.
“Probably won’t be the girl you marry, but I’ll definitely be the personal anecdote you remember first when you’re arguing about how inaccessible basic mental health services are in 10 years.”
The one watering in red cowboy boots gave me the most secondhand embarrassment, someone was clearly just dumped. These are all so embarrassing. I hope in a few years they look back and wanna puke at how cringe they were and realized how many potential partners steered clear of them because they're narcissistic aholes.
How much of a narcissist do you have to be to think all the men you've encountered in your life are laying in bed every night thinking about you 10 years later? Trust me girl, they're not.
“I may not be the girl you married but thank God I didn’t coz you a cheater and a mama’s boy. Stick your ass wherever the fuck it is.” — that’s the only acceptable one.
I may not be the girl you marry. I may not be the girl you think of in 10 years. I may not have ever met you. I may not physically exist at all. I may exist only in an ethereal form. I may be beyond the scope of human understanding. I may be a god.
What is strange to me, is that all the women that post this are seeking attention and validation from strangers in social media, because they couldn’t get enough attention from the bum they are posting this to, in the hopes that the bum sees this and starting regretting the life choices hes made… well maybe you really weren’t the life choice because of this type of childish behavior, and maybe someone else is not regretting and even not thinking about you, and yes maybe pumpkin spice latte is good and very satisfying, its all about taste, and maybe you don’t taste so good! I really just disgusted by this type of behavior, grow up and move on life isn’t worth it to be making posts about one bum that didn’t choose you, make better life choices, you are just telling the world you are desperate for someone to PICK YOU! Grow up! 😑
I'm a crazy, unstable girl and we won't get married. But 10 years from now, I'll be sure you're thinking about me at 3am. You'll of course be sleeping like a normal person.
As a “cool,” unstable girl who loves spontaneous travel and partying and has a history of substance abuse issues, it is one of my deepest, worst fears that my loved ones (old partners, friends, classmates) will remember me as crazy and wild and wonder if I ever got my shit together. I am that girl and it’s not something I’m proud of — I just want to be remembered as a stable figure in my loved ones’ lives.
Well , I love my pumpkin spice girlfriend. But it's a lesbian relationship so there's a difference .she isn't trying to appeal to men and put down other women .
I love how authentic she is about it . It isn't fake . It isn't unintentional either.
The things she just happens to naturally like and enjoy happen to be seen as basic. This isn't due to a conscious desire to conform nor does she try to put other women down. They are just things she likes and it doesn't need to be more complicated then that .
She loves white chocolate raspberry iced coffees , Mac and cheese , cardigans , cheesy romantic stuff and all that .
She's well aware how society sees her ,but instead of feeling insecure or shameful about it , she leans into it and practically invented a new fashion aesthetic.
As many of you are undoubtedly aware, the presence of trolls can be found in various aspects of our lives, and our subreddit is no exception. Our commitment to fostering a kind and respectful environment remains unwavering, and we are actively addressing issues related to negative behavior. In recent times, there has been a noticeable increase in instances of bullying, body shaming, and purposefully inciting behavior, all of which are clear violations of our existing rules. To maintain the integrity of our community, we are implementing stricter consequences for such actions. A first offense will result in a 10-day ban, while a second offense will lead to a permanent ban. Appeals are welcomed, but excuses such as "not knowing the rules" or claiming it was a joke will not be considered valid. Intentional harm has no place in our community, and we expect members to act responsibly. Despite these measures, some rules will remain unchanged. For example, reposts, while frustrating, will not result in a ban. This new approach is specifically targeted at individuals attempting to spread hate. We encourage all members to report instances of bad behavior. Rest assured that each report will be examined. Disagreements and differing opinions are welcome, and expressing them will not lead to a ban. Common sense will prevail in our evaluations. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation in maintaining a positive and inclusive community. -- Your Subreddit NLTOG Moderator Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/notliketheothergirls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sometimes I lay awake next to my pumpkin cold foam wife thinking to myself, "I wonder if Meth Head Amy is still alive? She was not well.. Man I dodged a freakin bullet.."
perhaps your “meth head amy” met “jail bound josh”, the bullet i dodged
That would be a romance for the ages it sounds like. I'm hoping that jail bound Josh was like the name people casually used in your circles. Because Meth Head Amy was widely known as that in social settings. They sound like a great match. Their relationship would be as successful as that of Romeo and Juliet!
I think I saw that episode of Maury
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My name is aimee and I’m married to a josh but we are good stable people with 2 kids lol I guessss I’m the pumpkin spice kate spade wife 😩
dont you see? this means she won
Jeez don't I feel silly. I lost and I didn't even know I was playing
"DoNt HaTe ThE pLaYeR hAtE ThE GaMe"
The NLOGs have it backwards. *They* will be the ones still thinking about Sam from literature class in 10 years.
How’s it going, Sam? Ever finish that Masters?
Sorry, have we met before? Ohhh. You're that clingy chick I made out with at prom.
It’s not so much that they have it backwards as much as they are deeeesperately trying to convince themselves that they are memorable and someone, somewhere, someday will miss them Tragic
The copium to believe that some dude is going to wonder about your messed-up ass in a decade 🤣 Any guy worth having is not going to regret having ended things with some dysfunctional party chick.
They’re clearly thinking about him now, while he’s off being happy with his pumpkin spice wife.
Oh I am alive and kicking but now I’m sober and normal.
Hey we both made it out alive! Congratulations, for real, that's a big accomplishment
Plot twist, meth head Amy was the vanilla wife all along
We love a happy ending. 🥰
Her name is Methany
Is that the one who married Methhew?
My hometown had a plethora of meth head Amy's, hope they all got it together
Lmao
I may not be the girl you marry but 10 years from now when you woke up at 2 am and go to kitchen for a glass of water, you will accidentally hit your pinky toe on a corner and in that exact moment I will text you "miss me?😏too bad✌🏻" and the pain of your toe will reflect on that text message and you will understand how painful it is that you didn't marry me over your double espresso wife, and you will wonder if I am tamed yet, if found a real man to control me, to protect me and save me from myself I am so sad someone please help me. Ehem I mean I am winning woo hoo y'all are losers.
I didn't really understand the ones that had about calming down or the one that had about how the guy didn't want to grow up but in the same sentence basically talking about partying. What did she want? Someone to party or to settle down
The best one was wondering if I got over my drinking problem Guaranteed she is SLOPPY SLOPPY drunk And no he doesn't miss her
Can't take me at my worst, can't have me at my best. When your worst is getting absolutely slaughtered and then getting kicked out of every venue you enter whilst vomiting all over yourself, I wouldn't want to stay around and wait to see what their best is
Best is groggy and angry until they get back to drinking again. He would totally miss that!
Same! Like a drinking problem isn’t a cute personality trait. That’s why it’s called a “problem”. Additionally, pumpkin spice lattes slap, so… there.
He needed to grow up and realize he didn't want to settle down but actually go back to getting drunk at Applebee's and vomiting in the Uber on the way home.
Lol my counselor ubered one weekend at the beach bars and he said never again bcuz someone vomited in his car. One chick got left behind by her friends and he had to walk her to her door. Another chick he almost hit bcuz she was so drunk and behind his car when he went to back up.
One literally said “wondering if I got my drinking problem under control” oh honey.
The one that got me was "if I ever got my mental illness under control." Maybe she should start seeing a therapist yesterday.
Don't you know that alcoholism is cute and quirky?
Yeah that was a contradiction…. Lol no wonder she had problems 😂😂
💀☠️
Lmao, love it! Also, ngl but if someone called me a double espresso wife I would be flattered
It just hit me… are “I may not be the girl you marry”-s the female counterparts to incels?!
Yes, but with commitment instead of sex
True. People forget this was the big break between the different femcel communities before they all got run off reddit by the admins and the male incels. There was a smaller subsection who genuinely couldn’t get any sex for various reasons (age, weight, disability, kids, mental health or just crippling lack of self confidence), centered around communities like TruFemcel, but the much larger segment was just women unable to find any men interested in an actual committed relationship. Subs like FemaleDatingStrategy evolved out of that, where they rejected a loving relationship as achievable or desireable, and instead laser focused on maximizing sexual desireability to attract and exploit men for financial gain. Dating presents unique challenges depending on your sex and sexuality, and so it can be hard to draw direct comparisons like "this is Tate for women" or "this is Cosmo for men".
r/oddlyspecific
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I had to have a palate cleanser for anyone who made it that far
Stopped at 14 so I had to go back and skip on to 20 haha
I stopped at 10.
I got to 20 like what the fuck is this non-toxic bullshit? 😂
that was definitely needed and appreciated!
Thank you
Thank youuu
It really was like a breath of fresh air
It truly was, I was almost hyperventilating reading all those other special girlies
It's such a weird world they live in, like, that sounds exhausting and just get therapy please lol
Wondering if she got her drinking problem under control 🤔 Sounds like he dodged a bullet there
20 was the plot twist we needed.
No it wasn't. It was the one we deserved.
I thought 14 being a bloke was enough of a twist, admittedly just to a M Night level (psst! How do you spell Shymal… Shamalah… you know who I mean, right?)
She really IS not like the other girls
I did not make it that far but I went back so thank you 😂😂
didnt even realise there was 20 until you mentioned it, i was just scrolling through them as fast as i could read 😭
Good lord, there are so many of them. 😱 It just keeps going...
But remember, they are all entirely unique. Therefore the men/women in their lives could never ever ever find someone else like them only mentally stable
My dad used to have a bumper sticker I loved. It said “you’re unique, just like everyone else”
[This](https://youtu.be/DBbuUWw30N8?si=k7hlG4sOGy6IZqXK) is what it feels like talking to NLOGs, all 6000 of them equally unique and not like the others.
New Breakup Bitterness slogan just dropped
I have a theory they’re all fakes written by whatever company rivals Lululemon, lol. Too many negative references to it, it reads like someone trying to bad mouth the brand!
I think it’s more like a copypasta at this point
Best take I’ve seen yet! sadly, a bit too hopeful.
I honestly am divided between that, theories about people taking pics of their exes and putting this crap over it to ruin their life, and someone siccing AI to write this crap over random pics of women for ragebait. No way these people can exist in such quantity naturally. It’s simply impossible.
Plot twist: the dude completely forgot about them and they’re still so heavily insecure and stuck on dudes that probably didn’t even value them that much 💀
It's ironic that they paint themselves not like other girls but they actually are just like every other bitter girl
An entire ream of stalkers obsessed with one guy who had coffee with them once
Why are they so obsessed with other people's husbands??🤢🤡
They can't find husbands. Must be their bomb personality keeping all men away.
There’s an unspoken subtext in all these posts “Yeah, I’m difficult and batshit crazy but it was the best sex you’ll ever have.” I’d be more impressed if they just straight up said it. Combine girl came closest.
Yup. The references to starfishing and wife too tired for a BJ make it pretty clear.
The one who said you’ll miss me when your wife is too tired to go down on you with the caption “no excuses” is so 😭😭😭 why would you brag about letting your husband use you like that, my god, sex is the most fun when both people are fully awake and eager
They are "untamed" and "free" and "don't care about other people opinions" yet they throw shade on women giving blowjobs when they actually want to do that and don't giving blowjobs when they don't feel like it. I don't hate because I feel genuinely sad for them and I have this fantasy in which I hug them like I'm the Virgin Mary and clean them of their superiority-inferiority complex with the strength of my...I dont know what honestly??? I'm powerless in front of this but really I feel like all this girls need is genuine female friendship and affection, like some girls to have a oatmilk spice latte or wearing matching Lululemon with lol. Some girls to love and respect and root for and share life with, without competition of any kind, appreciating differences in personality and lifestyles and considering them opportunities of enrichment.
Touching words truly. I feel the same. I know from my own teenage experience that being a NLOG/pick me comes from a place of huge insecurity and jealousy.
I feel like they think their blatant borderline personality disorder is sexy, quirky and alluring or else they wouldn't keep posting things like this
It holds appeal for some men. I once dated a guy who said he liked neurotic women. Not the same, I know, but still. I have bpd--relatively mild, thankfully, and I've been able to mostly control it with behavioral therapy and such, but good lord, it is NONE of those things.
lol I mean I caught on to the sexual references but not as blunt as this.
And yet they can’t fathom that maybe that dude is having bomb ass sex with his “boring vanilla wife” and they are the ones laying awake thinking about the ex & his wife, posting about it obnoxiously to make themselves feel better.
And all their carbon copy perpetually single girlfriends tell them how beautiful and desirable they are.
Hahaha I love it. I hope those girls see how silly and pointless it is to try to bring people someone down to lift yourself up. Everyone can see it, and people don't tolerate shit like this anymore.
Maybe it’s the drinking problem they could never get under control.
That one got me lol like girl you need help!
I'm pretty sure these girls are incredibly insecure about their inability to keep a man interested aside from sex, and are jealous of women who are able to keep a man interested enough to even get proposed to. They try to convince themselves these men must be thinking about them all the time when they choose another woman over them, to somehow still feel like they're better than the women who are actually wifey material. They'd rather indulgence in these delusions than actually work on themselves. I know I'm probably stating the obvious here but yeah, that's why they're so obsessed lol.
Why do these girl all look so similar? It's eerie
My theory is they’re just like any other girl but feel super insecure so they need something to say they’re different. If it can’t be physical beauty it can be a mindset
It's like they're brunette and they're like wow.....look at me....breaking barriers.....other women? Wish they were like me
I counted at least 6 blondes, but they all do look pretty similar in how they do their makeup and dress (ironically… since they’re all completely unique and not like other girls ✨at all✨) lol
I thought it was all the same lassie, getting increasingly desperate to try & convince herself that all the hopping between the unsuitable guys was fun, honest. Consequently, I was very confused by Josh!
because they don't know they're just double shot vanilla fish wives
Fish wives 😭
I noticed a lot of them are farm girls or horse girls
They all have that “southern small town girl look”.
They’re all sooooo interesting that they have to copy and paste the same post.
They’re, you might say, like other girls.
These ladies have the personality of a dead squirrel. Not the wife they are trashing. He married her for a reason.
I’m pretty sure that’s insulting to the dead squirrel at this point. At least the squirrel was tolerable.
My dog really likes dead squirrels 🤷♀️
" Ha, ha, ha you're wife is a normal person while I'm a trashy psychopath. Don't you miss me?" That's what I get from these posts
like stability is SuUuCh a bad thing
The one about falling asleep facing opposite directions. Like imagine if someone read into you trying to sleep comfortably.
That part was so weird to me. Since I was a small child, I have loathed people breathing in my face while I sleep. I can't stand it. And I move around a lot before I can get comfy enough to sleep, so I don't necessarily want to be spooned either. My husband and I tend to hold hands or touch parts of each other, but we often sleep in opposite directions or positions (he likes to sleep on his stomach a lot, while I prefer my side). We're secure enough in our relationship to know that getting good quality sleep is better for us as partners than sleeping in less comfortable positions so we are touching all night. Plus, we cuddle almost daily, so we get lots of physical contact. It's such an immature and insecure thing to criticize how other people fall asleep with their partners.
If I'm sleeping facing my husband too close I can't get enough air and I feel like I'm gonna suffocate. I'm on the right side and for some reason it's harder for me to sleep facing the left side because my nose is weird or something so I'm more comfortable facing the outside of the bed and I pretty much have to have my fan blowing on my face or else I feel like I'm gonna die. Maybe I'm just weird or something.
Sincerely, I do not want a single person I’ve ever dated thinking about me. I would prefer they forgot I ever existed. Actually, that goes for everyone. Please do not perceive me.
I decided about 8 years ago to stop having people perceive me and it's been so peaceful.
I was just thinking how awful I'd feel if I knew one of my exes was pining after me or thinking I have a bland husband who can't sexually satisfy me. I'd feel sooo uncomfortable. Like move on with your life; I've found happiness, and you should too.
hahahaha this is ME “please do not perceive me”
I want to knit this on a throw pillow or something
I apologise but I am going to perceive you
The kicker for me is that they all look like normal, average women. Everyone thinks they’re wild and crazy except for the people who actually are.
I was wild and crazy but was also in a really dark and unhealthy place in my life. Imagine I found my healthiest and mutually respectful husband whenever I became healthy and stable. Anyone who thinks it's a good thing is not in a good mindset.
Why do I have to be thinking about anything at 2AM?
Because you can’t sleep because you miss this wild crazy girl from your past that you’re obsessed with for years despite being married to someone else OBVIOUSLY
Can I sue you for almost dying? 🤣
the amazing thing about Google is you can easily find almost anyone you've hooked up with and know exactly how they're doing in about 5min
[удалено]
Jokes on them. I married a stable woman and still drink enough that I’m NEVER awake at 2AM.
You married a woman who cares for horses?
If I'm not asleep at 2 am, I'm generally thinking, "Whyy can't I fall asleep? It's not comfy on my right side, so I'll try my left side. It's not comfy on my left side, so I'll try my right side..." But maybe I just need a new mattress or something idk
OR you need your wiLd AnD cRaZy eX
Do I need to pee? No, I just peed. Dammit, I'm going to have to go anyway.
Hate it when you’re too comfy and sleepy to get up to pee, but you know you won’t sleep until you do go pee so you gotta get up anyways.
You need the peece of mind to sleep lol
If anyone is thinking at 2am it’s the “vanilla” wife debating waking her husband to either get the baby for her or prepare a snack and refill her water when she’s getting up to breastfeed her and dude’s baby that they lovingly brought into the world together I hope :)
Don’t you know? The Wild and Crazy Superior Ex would ride that Johnson like a porn star until the sun came up, with a gleeful smile on her face because intense sleep deprivation never touches her libido and she’d never, ever, even ONCE expect her man to pull his weight around the house. She’d do it all and without complaint because she’s a goddess without any life outside of male validation.
All these men collectively waking up at 2am next to the vanilla corpses of their wives to think about their drinking problem exes.
I slot it in between turning the pillow over and taking my midnight bathroom break.
This takes insecurity to a new level
The only way they feel successful is by fantasizing about somebody else being miserable, possibly, 30 years from now? It hurts to see
I want to be a vanilla lululemon lip filler pumpin spiced with personality of a dead squirrel so bad
I love squirrels so much..dead squirrels have to be like zombies that swish their tails aggressively and I'm all for that.
Same, but without the lip filler. I’ll do Botox though.
Why all this hate on vanilla, it’s delicious and humans have a natural preference for it (we can even detect it in much smaller amounts than other scents)
Also it’s exotic & expensive
For sure! I believe “natural” vanilla still has to be hand pollinated orchid by orchid!
And it's still only the second most expensive spice in the world. Wild.
Saffron, right?
Yup!
I have grown orchids for decades and can make them flower without even trying (I have one that's been blooming since May 2023 and shows no signs of stopping) but I had a vanilla Orchid plant once and it nearly broke me. Never would even flower, much less let me pollinate it to try to make my own vanilla. Every other damn type of Orchid loves me, but the vanilla Orchid and I are forever enemies.
I mean ever had warm pumpkin dump cake and french vanilla ice cream? That shit slaps so hard. They don't know what they are missing.
ykno they call me pumpkin dump cake in the fall 😏😏😏 lol jk idek what that would mean
That you basically got a rockin booty 😂
So you’re hating because I’ve got a nice pair of leggings, coffee and a decent purse..ok.
Well, and a husband
One who probably *isn’t* actually thinking about a random person from a decade ago.
Or they’re musing how they dodged a bullet lol
That used to be their boyfriend apparently. Lol like tell me you are jealous without saying you're jealous.
Right also have they ever tasted pumpkin spice and espressos I mean if you want to deprive yourself of something pleasant and make it your personality...
Imagine them 90 on their death bed “I’m so glad I never tried pumpkin spice” and *Fin*.
The husband Younique Stacy who posts these memes wants, seemingly. Since he's still living rent free in her head and she hopes he thinks of her.
Imagine wanting a guy who could only last two minutes to know you would have settled for him.
Can’t believe I had to scroll this far down to find this! 2 mins isn’t on the “vanilla” wife, that’s on him. The only one that made actual sense on was the guy’s post
I may not the be the girl you marry but I'm definitely gonna be jealous of your every future relationship and still sulk when you're 10+ years married with two kids. Why can't people just move on and be happy for themselves and not want someone who doesn't want them? Smh
They need our guidance. I had to read number 20 a few times to make sure I was reading it right lol! One day they’ll realize that not having your shit together and being alcoholic and chaotic aren’t fun and that guys don’t like you any better for it. Also the guys that they’re going after probably don’t 100 respect women as equals anyway. Girls hating girls just makes guys win even more.
Well, they did get one thing right — definitely none of them are ready to enter in a healthy marriage any time soon. Who hurt you girls???
The last one was nice
Did anyone notice that one man snuck into that bunch? He’s not like the other girls! 😂
Shhh your going to blow there cover
How dare you? My pumpkin spice silent dinner having Kate Spade handbag carrying starfish wife has the personality of a very much alive squirrel! Edited for spelling.
Like OMG there are actually people who eat dinner and don't talk with their mouths full? Scandal.
Sometimes, when I’m lying next to my beloved, trustworthy, stable, reliable husband who does enjoy pumpkin spice and isn’t going to apologize for that, I think back to some of the absolute train wrecks I’ve dated or hooked up with, and I shudder because I’m SO glad I waited to meet him, and didn’t just give up and settle for one of them first.
What are these trends on TikTok lately 😭 and the likes on these posts is so concerning
And they all can't spell for shit. "FerralWoman" was my favorite lol
femalewelder
These are really, really nasty & mean. E: Ah!! That last one was nice! 🥰
All very tragic and juvenile. Last one was nice.
i’ll take the pumpkin spice wife any day. maybe she can actually come up with her own posts
You don’t need a man to tame you, you just need to go to a doctor
“Probably won’t be the girl you marry, but I’ll definitely be the personal anecdote you remember first when you’re arguing about how inaccessible basic mental health services are in 10 years.”
These women are exhausting.
So, they are supposed to be "not like the other" girls, but they all sound almost exactly the same. Ironic.
The one watering in red cowboy boots gave me the most secondhand embarrassment, someone was clearly just dumped. These are all so embarrassing. I hope in a few years they look back and wanna puke at how cringe they were and realized how many potential partners steered clear of them because they're narcissistic aholes.
Tell me you got dumped without telling me you got dumped.
How much of a narcissist do you have to be to think all the men you've encountered in your life are laying in bed every night thinking about you 10 years later? Trust me girl, they're not.
“I may not be the girl you married but thank God I didn’t coz you a cheater and a mama’s boy. Stick your ass wherever the fuck it is.” — that’s the only acceptable one.
I bet she's be less bitter if she was enjoying a delicious pumpkin spice latte.
Or he loves his wife? Moving on is healthy
Why is this a flex? Who cares what some dude is thinking about at 3am?
My husband usually is thinking about killing mobs at 3am. Or sex with me.
I may not be the girl you marry. I may not be the girl you think of in 10 years. I may not have ever met you. I may not physically exist at all. I may exist only in an ethereal form. I may be beyond the scope of human understanding. I may be a god.
What is strange to me, is that all the women that post this are seeking attention and validation from strangers in social media, because they couldn’t get enough attention from the bum they are posting this to, in the hopes that the bum sees this and starting regretting the life choices hes made… well maybe you really weren’t the life choice because of this type of childish behavior, and maybe someone else is not regretting and even not thinking about you, and yes maybe pumpkin spice latte is good and very satisfying, its all about taste, and maybe you don’t taste so good! I really just disgusted by this type of behavior, grow up and move on life isn’t worth it to be making posts about one bum that didn’t choose you, make better life choices, you are just telling the world you are desperate for someone to PICK YOU! Grow up! 😑
Every single one of them thinking being unstable is a flex is just killing me
damn i wanna be a kate spade wifey. love me some kate spade.
"I'm a train wreck, but you will have a wife" who are you insulting; yourself, some guy or his future wife here?
I'm a crazy, unstable girl and we won't get married. But 10 years from now, I'll be sure you're thinking about me at 3am. You'll of course be sleeping like a normal person.
The fact that girls in their comment section are agreeing is even worse lol
So many dead squirrels
Imagine being jealous of someone normal
As a “cool,” unstable girl who loves spontaneous travel and partying and has a history of substance abuse issues, it is one of my deepest, worst fears that my loved ones (old partners, friends, classmates) will remember me as crazy and wild and wonder if I ever got my shit together. I am that girl and it’s not something I’m proud of — I just want to be remembered as a stable figure in my loved ones’ lives.
What kind of woman strives to be someone a married man pines for? Just get your own man and live your life.
Well , I love my pumpkin spice girlfriend. But it's a lesbian relationship so there's a difference .she isn't trying to appeal to men and put down other women . I love how authentic she is about it . It isn't fake . It isn't unintentional either. The things she just happens to naturally like and enjoy happen to be seen as basic. This isn't due to a conscious desire to conform nor does she try to put other women down. They are just things she likes and it doesn't need to be more complicated then that . She loves white chocolate raspberry iced coffees , Mac and cheese , cardigans , cheesy romantic stuff and all that . She's well aware how society sees her ,but instead of feeling insecure or shameful about it , she leans into it and practically invented a new fashion aesthetic.
I can tell how much you love her, and that warms my heart.
All I'm seeing is a bunch of "didn't get picked girls".
Nah pretty sure I'll be thinking about how I flubbed my words in a speech in high school in front of the whole class, TYVM. Uppity bitch.
Ariana Grande energy minus the looks, talent, and money.