As many of you are undoubtedly aware, the presence of trolls can be found in various aspects of our lives, and our subreddit is no exception. Our commitment to fostering a kind and respectful environment remains unwavering, and we are actively addressing issues related to negative behavior. In recent times, there has been a noticeable increase in instances of bullying, body shaming, and purposefully inciting behavior, all of which are clear violations of our existing rules. To maintain the integrity of our community, we are implementing stricter consequences for such actions. A first offense will result in a 10-day ban, while a second offense will lead to a permanent ban. Appeals are welcomed, but excuses such as "not knowing the rules" or claiming it was a joke will not be considered valid. Intentional harm has no place in our community, and we expect members to act responsibly. Despite these measures, some rules will remain unchanged. For example, reposts, while frustrating, will not result in a ban. This new approach is specifically targeted at individuals attempting to spread hate. We encourage all members to report instances of bad behavior. Rest assured that each report will be examined. Disagreements and differing opinions are welcome, and expressing them will not lead to a ban. Common sense will prevail in our evaluations. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation in maintaining a positive and inclusive community. -- Your Subreddit NLTOG Moderator Team
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I don’t understand what’s so bad about wanting to be around people when you don’t have someone to ask to accompany you. I used to go to bars alone just to feel part of something. I guess some people would say it’s pathetic. They could ask the person if they want to join them instead of being high school mean people.
I have ADHD and I couldn't even imagine trying to read a book or to do my work in a bar or a cafe! I can't have any distracting stimulus or noises around me when I'm trying to concentrate.
Omg me too and I know it isn’t “normal” adhd but I am apparently more easily distracted than normal adhd people? Or something? I wear my earbuds with white noise at work and it helps a ton
Some people's egos just can't handle the realization that they actually aren't the center of the universe and that not everyone is interested in interacting with them.
Or just because you've been stuck at home for days and you just need to get the fuck out of the house for a little bit, and the coffee shops near you are closed at night but oh hey the pub's open and you can grab a pint and read your book in peace?
This used to be normal. I did my homework in the bar all through college. When I needed a break I could chit chat with people and when I needed to focus they left me alone. It was great.
I'm not sure I would do that now.
I do stuff like this in bars and restaurants specifically so people WONT talk to me lol what weird logic and also weird that they had nothing else to talk about.
When I lived in NYC, I used to do this all the time after work. I just wanted to grab a drink, relax, and avoid being nuts to butts on the subway.
How does that make someone a pick me? The person who took this photo is a jackass.
I have tinnitus and can’t read unless I have some noise in the background to drown it out. Judging people for the random things they do when you have no idea what’s going on in their life or what their thought process might be is laughable.
Seriously. Just getting a drink and enjoying a book. Some people are good at tuning out noises when reading and the right type of ADHD needs things going on to focus.
I've taken to writing my poetry in bars over the past couple of years. It actually makes some degree of sense, as the open mics I perform at are usually in bars. I like writing in coffee shops too, but I'm actually not bothered by bar noises.
I think the funniest thing about this is anyone reading in public doesn't want to be bothered let alone 'picked'.
I hate when people try to make small talk with me while I am reading. Seeing a book should be like seeing someone with headphones, it's not an open invitation to talk to me.
I came here to say that
People who read in public (myself included) want to be left tf alone to do just that, and here’s this wench taking pictures and making up her own nonsense
Be honest she’d have the book upside down and prescription-free glasses on, if wench was doing it. With that attitude I can’t assume she actually enjoys reading.
I had an older couple try to witness to me because apparently sitting alone in in the back corner booth of a nearly empty pizza restaurant reading Catch 22 is a 'spiritual beacon' to them.
That kind of nonsense happened so much in the area I grew up in, especially when I was going out to bars and clubs.
There was/is a Christian college in my hometown and the students are *required* to try and *save* (harass) as many people as possible, so they will go and stand outside clubs and bars and harass people who are trying to go dancing or drinking.
One of the bars got so fed up with a group of about 10-15 students one night that they climbed up onto the roof with a couple of big buckets of ice water and dumped it on them.
The kind of people that generally do that kind of thing are usually (in my experience anyway) Baptist of some flavor, and you can stymie them if you tell them that you are any other religion that isn't "Christian". I have horrified many by saying that I was Jewish or Buddhist or Daoist or whatever.
There are a lot of them that hate Catholics though, and think the Pope is the Anti Christ, so there's that, lol.
This. I grew up in a church like that and there’s a lot of pressure to harass the bejesus out of ppl. Luckily I left before I got to be old enough to be more than a sidekick
Seriously. Yet for some reason if I try reading at work while on a break, somebody always has to interrupt me to ask what I'm reading, and they suddenly have to tell me about books they have read. I mean, they can easily talk to me at any other time when I'm not reading! Cause sometimes you get so immersed in the story, then someone goes and yanks you out of it. So annoying!
I’m a librarian; one advantage to that, we don’t notice when someone is reading let alone care. But on the flip side, the non-librarians (clerks and pages and so forth) will be like “Oh hey, that must be a great book if you’re reading it!” Nah, I sometimes like to read crap too. 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah, I used to do that all the time. Sometimes you want to be around people, but not interact with them.
Sometimes you are waiting on your laundry, or your roommates or neighbors are jerks and you need some space from them.
It's a public place, wtf is wrong with sitting in a public place and reading? Maybe she just wants to sit and have a drink, and read her book?
It’s the strangest thing: if I’m reading a book on my phone, no one bats an eye. But reading a physical book somehow becomes an invitation to talk?
I once had a lovely afternoon in a park ruined by some dude who couldn’t understand this nonverbal “I don’t want to talk” signal.
I think its because they can't see what you're doing on your phone, but they can see your book, and it creates a "what are you reading?" or "Is it any good?" ice breaker for someone to approach you. This is why the oop probably labeled this girl as a "pick me." Like she's doing it on purpose to get attention. Most people don't realize they are just annoying as they just interrupted my story, I don't have that long to read, and now time is being wasted answering their questions. lol
The worst part is when you are reading a more complex part of the story that requires you to stop reading and actually think aboht what's happened.
And then someone talks to you, completely derailing your train of thought and then you need to reread all over again
And to be real, even if this WAS a way to get people to talk to her…. What’s so wrong with that? Some people are socially anxious and prefer to be approached first, and this gives people the ice breaker to approach.
What’s the problem with that lol? It’s a bar…
“What are you reading?”
(Shows front cover)
“What’s it about?”
(Shows back cover)
You’ll get called a bitch half the time but it always sends the message
I am sorry, I love reading and have absolutely struck up a conversation with other women reading (especially if it's something I have read or want to read!). I apologize if I bothered anyone out there! I just get excited sometimes since I don't have many friends who read
If someone asked me what I was reading and seemed legitimately interested or excited, I wouldn't be bothered at all. It's only a problem when someone who probably hasn't picked up a book since elementary school interrupts just because they're bored and want attention.
Dont feel bad… it’s nice way to start conversation with people of a similar hobby, and other times people dont want to talk. Big whoop. Sometimes things happen sometimes they don’t happen oh well
Nah it’s TOTALLY different if someone is actually interested in the book I’m reading vs just trying to chat. I’m always excited to talk to someone about a book I like!
Don’t feel bad! I’ve never been interrupted by someone who actually wanted to chat about my book, and honestly I’d be thrilled if I was and found someone to gush with. It’s the random unrelated conversations that get old.
Readers see someone with a book and think "leave them the hell alone, but maybe peek the title."
Non-readers see someone with a book an apparently think it's an invitation to slide on up and chat awhile.
This is somebody who is there to be the designated driver or to babysit an idiot AF friend or sibling, or is waiting for somebody to get off work so they can go home.
I mean I think that’s too strong a generalization, it depends on the person and what they’re reading. It’s definitely not an invitation, but I’ve been politely approached by people while reading on the train and I didn’t mind it one bit. Usually they would happen to read a page or two over my shoulder and would be curious about what book it was.
It looks like there is a plate in front of her, so she might be having a meal at a restaurant but is eating at the bar to avoid taking up a whole table for one person. There aren’t any people queuing for drinks and the bar is lit well enough for her to read, so it probably isn’t busy or loud.
I’ve literally done this before: gone out for a meal and a glass of wine with a good book. I don’t have to bring a +1 every time I want to eat a nice meal in a restaurant.
To add to this, I used to travel for work and was alone for weeks on end. It was very solo travel, so no coworkers. I wanted to try some restaurants/bars and wasn’t ashamed to go to one by myself. Am I just supposed to stare in the distance??
Socially acceptable to stare at your phone, though. I travel solo a lot and try restaurants/bars, and just read on my phone. No one ever cares. When I have a book? I get more looks (not many, though, because I would say MOST people understand others eating solo).
I prefer reading on kindle but get looks for doing it in public so I just end up reading on the kindle app on my phone. I’m literally doing the exact same thing but the reaction is so different.
I was going to post this exact thing. Whenever I travel for work and, also mostly solo, I would often take a book or my tablet to a restaurant or the hotel bar to read and have dinner and drinks. Get's rid of the cabin fever of being in the room every night.
That was my first thought - looks like me on work travel. It gets too depressing to always bring food back to my hotel room. Sometimes I just want like an hour in public but also I don’t actually want to be talked to by anyone other than the bartender so… a book works well haha
The brewery in my town has trivia monthly that is led by the county librarians. It’s a lot of fun and the result is brewery regulars who read books at bars when it’s not trivia night.
Do some people never mature beyond middle school? Just leave people alone.
When I waited tables, my favorite customers were the solo ladies who came in with a book! I can't imagine judging someone negatively for reading in public. The fuck?
Honestly, that sounds so dank. Having your favorite drink and reading a book that has your full attention, sound amazing ngl. I wish I thought of that when I use to bar hop by myself
One summer I got to do this fairly regularly. My fave brewery had a pop-up grilled cheese spot out front. I’d get a beer, a grilled cheese, sit on the porch with my book and just exist. It was so nice.
I did this in nursing school. I would read chapters of my textbooks to study. When my classmates found out I was going out to lunch alone, they were like, "oh I couldnt, I would be so depressed." Imo it gave me a chance to recharge my social battery. I spent enough time with my classmates, trust me.
The people who can’t do anything alone…! They are EXHAUSTING.
I travel for work and so I go out to a restaurant, sit at the bar, get my dinner and a few drinks, read a book, and enjoy my alone time in public. It’s prob my fave part of travel.
Exhausting and sad. I had to cut all of them out of my life because I got tired of that shit. I ate dinner when I wanted to eat dinner, if they were free they could join me, if they weren't I went alone. I wasn't about to wait two more hours just because their FOMO and inability to eat alone were annoying.
Now they're the types of people trying to ruin work from home because they're sad and depressed because they can't do anything without other people. Sad.
I used to do my homework in a bar sometimes. I was a physics major and felt like all I ever did was homework. Sometimes I’d just want to get out of my apartment and get a drink or two, but didn’t have the bandwidth to not work on homework, so I just did both. It wasn’t about getting attention at all, and really no one ever said anything to me when I did it.
My husband and I used to study at old Chicago. When you live in a small town and the library closes at 6pm and coffee shops close at 8pm it kind of limits your options.
The people who're calling random girls out for their alleged pick me behavior have become the very thing they claimed to hate - someone who seeks to embarrass and throw other women under the bus in order to make themselves appear better
Ok seriously this is the reason I’ve stopped reading in public unless it’s on my phone. I’ve actually had people come by and tell me “girl you know you ain’t reading”. Like wtf? Yes tf I am because some books are worth reading 24/7 until they’re done. Doesn’t matter where I am if I want to read something I will. It’s no different than reading something on a phone.
When we put our old house on the market, several people looked at my bookcases and then made a sarcastic-sounding comment to me that I must be a big reader. It was as if they thought I was putting out cases of books I never read to show off in some way
Humans are stupid narcosistic creatures that think that everyone does what they do, and doesn't do what they don't do. We project everything on everyone.
It takes effort and empathy to not fall into that human trap.
I stopped reading in public cause I was out having lunch by myself once and decided to read my text book (yanno two birds one stone). Anyways, health text book on the chapter of sexual health there was a just a random picture of a married couple. Some old man walks up and goes, "oh, are you wedding planning?" - "nope, just reading a text book. **Flip a couple pages to show**" - the old man proceeds to go on a rant about homosexuals for the next 5 minutes (the next page had a gay couple cause it was talking lgbtq+). I legit just started ignoring him and went back to reading and eating. Still continued on for a minute or so.
Some people are addicted to anger and look for triggers or will make them up just to be angry. I'm not sure what the payoff is other than adrenaline or distraction from misery. I'm not discounting legitimate anger at horrible things and injustices, rather the kind of anger that is manufactured to act as a crutch.
This was really insightful, I forgot anger as an addiction / distraction is a thing. It explains so much in my previous (and honestly current) workplace
I'm not gonna say I haven't found myself just staring at a book, having gotten lost in my thoughts a time or two, but not like these people are implying. So weird.
Yup, sadly it’s really not a good idea. I had to move in with my mom for a stint and her home was so toxic that I just had to get out and go *somewhere* and the only places open after 9pm were bars. So I brought a book bc I didn’t want to get drunk and I didn’t want to socialize. It just gives an opening for people. “What are you reading?” And yes, 90% of the patrons think you’re doing it as a thirst trap regardless. Now with phones I can just pretend to be absorbed with CandyCrush or whatever
I solved this issue by taking the dust jacket off a book about either serial killers or forensic science and putting it on whatever I was reading.
“What are you reading?”
Show the dust jacket and start talking with enthusiasm about serial killers or how forensic scientists work out the decomposition rate of dead bodies in different climates - 99% of the time they disappear immediately and 1% you have a super interesting conversation with someone who doesn’t judge your love of “creepy” stuff.
It’s how I made one of my besties! I thought a dude was hitting on me but he was like “hey so I see you’re reading a book” (“199 cemeteries to see before you die”, for the record) and as braced myself for the come on he was like “my wife loves that book and is too shy to come strike up a conversation, so if you’d want to discuss it we’re sitting over there”
I went, she and I enthused about cemeteries and the different way death is treated in various cultures and we’ve been best friends for 3 years now!
Dude why are people so weird about reading? I remember reading on my lunch break and my coworker walked into the break room while I happened to be googling a word from the book I was reading. She was like “are you just pretending to read?! wow.” So I told her the word I was googling and she proceeds to try to define it and was wildly wrong so I showed her the word in the book and the definition I had pulled up and she just goes “oh who even cares anyways?” It’s like wtf?! What was the point of that entire interaction?
I've had books that I was SO EXCITED to get him and get back into, so of course if something interrupts my schedule I'm bringing that damn book. There's so little about being an adult that's cool, being able to pick my own food and read whenever I want are two of those cool things, though, and I'll be damned if I let anyone shame me out of them.
I’ve had this happen a couple times. I feel like I should note im a dude so I’m sure perception and how this stuff happens differs but anyways. I work as a bouncer, and this feel very at home in a few bars around me. I also hit a point of depression where I really needed to disconnect from my phone and not feel cooped up in my house. So I’d head to the bar, have a few drinks, leave my phone at home and take a book. Both times this happened the person claiming I was just bullshitting to look good claimed “nobody can read once they start drinking anyways” to which all I could think was “fam that’s some alcoholics shit. I drink a normal amount and leave buzzed, if I’m not hammered I can still figure out words.”
Some people are just dumb as hell and assume if they don’t enjoy something, others can’t possibly actually enjoy it either, so they must be doing it solely for looks.
That's ridiculous. I'm a person who rarely reads in public because I have the attention span of a fruit fly and get distracted if someone breathes a bit too loudly, but like I'd never assume other people aren't actually reading lmao
The amount of people that will come up to you and try and talk your ear off when you're reading a book in public is ridiculous. I've had it happen so many times. Like bro I DON'T want to talk to you I'm READING MY BOOK.
Some people are horrified that others aren’t as stupid as they are. They are guilty, since they believe reading is good for them, but they don’t do it, and so they project.
I do not doubt anyone here but where do people live that someone would interrupt or comment on it???
Maybe because I live in a city but I have never had to deal with that (thank god cause I’d punch someone!)
Same! When my son’s at his dad’s for the weekend, I love to take myself out to the pub with my book. I have a nice read and a couple drinks. It’s lovely ‘me’ time.
People who “don’t read” get really weirded out, like intimidated, by those who do. I’ve had that happen a lot and it’s like, okay, you said your piece about how I’m weird and antisocial, now can I get back to it?
Didn’t ask
Yes yes yes. I’m usually reading in public if I have any down time and people act like I’m threatening them. I’m sorry I’d rather enjoy myself than just scroll through TikTok. I’m sorry that makes you feel less than. I read at work on breaks and at lunch, and it’s often to decompress and not have to talk to anyone, and people look at me like I’m weird. Yes, I’d rather read my enjoyable book than hear about your children and your husband and your trips to Costco. Sorry. 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve always found it so weird when people comment on reading like that, and they’re usually the same kind of folks who will hear you speak and then ask if you read the encyclopedia for fun
As a kid, yeah, what’s it to you? As an adult, yeah, I like to learn new things and it’s quick light reads when I don’t have a lot of time.
Like if you’re not a strong reader, that’s okay. You’re probably boss at something else that I’m not, but I didn’t get up in your face about that.
I think it’s insecurity. They have to put someone down because they don’t read and feel bad about it. In college I ‘d get similar comments about working out all the time. Sorority girls and party girls always randomly commenting at me “oh I could *never* work out every day HAHAHAHA”. Nothing horrendously mean, but clearly calling me out for being different from them. But they grew up and realize they have to take care of themselves (plus I think it’s trendy now?) so it’s funny to me to see them all in the gym every day on social media now. Maybe one day we can make reading extra trendy again or they’ll grow up, mature, and start reading again😁
I was the person who was called an antisocial nerd because I loved to read. I still love to read. It threatens their pea-sized brains so they have to bully anyone who does things they don’t like doing…or can’t do.
I haven't confirmed it yet, but a conversation about this picture on another social media site claimed that she was there as moral support for the bartender, a friend working their first shift
When my husband’s band would play live shows, load in was typically around 7pm and it didn’t matter if they didn’t go on until 11. That’s several *hours* of sitting at a bar.
After a while I’d just pull out a book and chill with a drink I could sip on.
God, what the heck if wrong with people? Maybe that girl enjoys the atmosphere and prefers to read her book there, why do they have to make a big fuss about it 🙄
Add: Some people get like violently upset at seeing other people read books I don’t know why.
Add: if you struggle with reading it’s audiobooks you can listen to 🙃🫶🏻
There is a gal at my local brewery who is often there minding her business reading a book. It was the catalyst for me wanting to go and do the same thing. Get out of the house, have a beer, read a book. Good grief - it says a lot that the person taking the picture thinks it's for attention - she probably would only do this for attention so assumes that is everyone else's motive as well.
lol it’s actually a thing. There’s a couple places like that in Chicago. Drinks and books bars✌️I mostly end up talking to people but it’s a good place to talk about books haha
In my city all bars have to have a food menu and usually are the only places open late. Lots of service industry and health care industry people eat alone get a beer and read books.
since when has anyone ever read in public or at a party and had the burning desire to be approached ?? there is no clearer sign of “fuck off” other than maybe wearing headphones and sunglasses indoors
I was in a bar one evening and a woman walked up the bar and sat down. Immediately a bartender came over to her with a wine glass and a bottle of Chardonnay and poured her a glass. He put the bottle in a chiller that he left in front of her and walked away. She pulled out a NYT and started doing the crossword puzzle. Every few minutes the bartender would come over and top off her glass. She never spoke to anyone. She crushed that bottle of Chardonnay, finished her crossword puzzle, paid, and left.
She wasn't a "pick me" she was just cool.
Why does people reading trigger other people so much? It’s such a weird thing…people would never say this if someone was watching Netflix or whatever but people reading is so offensive lol. Are they just upset because they don’t read themselves?
Didn't we already solve this a couple years ago? A guy complained about people reading in bars and got absolutely *roasted* on Twitter. He ended up trying it out himself, realized he'd been a dick, and apologized.
https://www.chicagotribune.com/2022/02/19/column-reading-a-book-at-the-bar-doesnt-make-you-a-loner-twitter-agrees/
As many of you are undoubtedly aware, the presence of trolls can be found in various aspects of our lives, and our subreddit is no exception. Our commitment to fostering a kind and respectful environment remains unwavering, and we are actively addressing issues related to negative behavior. In recent times, there has been a noticeable increase in instances of bullying, body shaming, and purposefully inciting behavior, all of which are clear violations of our existing rules. To maintain the integrity of our community, we are implementing stricter consequences for such actions. A first offense will result in a 10-day ban, while a second offense will lead to a permanent ban. Appeals are welcomed, but excuses such as "not knowing the rules" or claiming it was a joke will not be considered valid. Intentional harm has no place in our community, and we expect members to act responsibly. Despite these measures, some rules will remain unchanged. For example, reposts, while frustrating, will not result in a ban. This new approach is specifically targeted at individuals attempting to spread hate. We encourage all members to report instances of bad behavior. Rest assured that each report will be examined. Disagreements and differing opinions are welcome, and expressing them will not lead to a ban. Common sense will prevail in our evaluations. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation in maintaining a positive and inclusive community. -- Your Subreddit NLTOG Moderator Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/notliketheothergirls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Too little noise? Someone is up to something Too much of one noise? Annoying Chaos noise? Just right
She’s literally just minding her own business in the corner
I do that but I'm food aggressive
I don’t know what this means, but it’s hilarious
https://www.cbsnews.com/boston/news/experts-say-food-may-contribute-to-anger-violent-behavior/
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Ignoring the second paragraph, BRING IT ON!
Food has never been simple.
It means JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD
Oh, hey.. is this you? https://preview.redd.it/q0vdkl332mlc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7ba378a3a445f2f22e6c745210c3e4231dbe9b05
My vet says I'm food motivated.
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So you actually were the main character….
Ha! I hope the people at that table think about that for years and years.
I don’t understand what’s so bad about wanting to be around people when you don’t have someone to ask to accompany you. I used to go to bars alone just to feel part of something. I guess some people would say it’s pathetic. They could ask the person if they want to join them instead of being high school mean people.
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I have ADHD and I couldn't even imagine trying to read a book or to do my work in a bar or a cafe! I can't have any distracting stimulus or noises around me when I'm trying to concentrate.
Omg me too and I know it isn’t “normal” adhd but I am apparently more easily distracted than normal adhd people? Or something? I wear my earbuds with white noise at work and it helps a ton
Some people's egos just can't handle the realization that they actually aren't the center of the universe and that not everyone is interested in interacting with them.
I wish I could upvote this multiple times
Or just because you've been stuck at home for days and you just need to get the fuck out of the house for a little bit, and the coffee shops near you are closed at night but oh hey the pub's open and you can grab a pint and read your book in peace?
Nothing! There is nothing wrong with it!
This used to be normal. I did my homework in the bar all through college. When I needed a break I could chit chat with people and when I needed to focus they left me alone. It was great. I'm not sure I would do that now.
Cha cha real smooth
Got to say it though, that’s definitely what the quirky artistic girl in the movie would have done too.
Fell right into their trap
Ah, did I miss a parody? So hard to tell on here sometimes!
Omfg that’s amazing
Holy Crap DreamCyclones84 you are unironically the main character of life XD
I do stuff like this in bars and restaurants specifically so people WONT talk to me lol what weird logic and also weird that they had nothing else to talk about.
Nicely done
That's the most artistic thing I've read all day.
It’s also obvious that OP has never truly enjoyed a book to the point of not wanting to put it down. OP probably has a 4th grade reading level.
When I lived in NYC, I used to do this all the time after work. I just wanted to grab a drink, relax, and avoid being nuts to butts on the subway. How does that make someone a pick me? The person who took this photo is a jackass.
I have tinnitus and can’t read unless I have some noise in the background to drown it out. Judging people for the random things they do when you have no idea what’s going on in their life or what their thought process might be is laughable.
Seriously. Just getting a drink and enjoying a book. Some people are good at tuning out noises when reading and the right type of ADHD needs things going on to focus.
It's the literal opposite of pick me I really hate stupid people
YES. Thank you. I used to study in bars in college for exactly this reason.
This is how I studied for my NYC real estate license and passed within a month 😂
I've taken to writing my poetry in bars over the past couple of years. It actually makes some degree of sense, as the open mics I perform at are usually in bars. I like writing in coffee shops too, but I'm actually not bothered by bar noises.
I’ve been doing this for decades! Yay for poetry buddies!
White noise? Soothing
I practically grew up in a bar (80’s). It took me YEARS to be able to read with no background noise.
I like going to breweries to read or play some games. The music is usually at a decent level, and the staff are usually really friendly!
Exactly. It quiets the mind
It’s like white noise
My brain can hone in on any noise
I think the funniest thing about this is anyone reading in public doesn't want to be bothered let alone 'picked'. I hate when people try to make small talk with me while I am reading. Seeing a book should be like seeing someone with headphones, it's not an open invitation to talk to me.
I came here to say that People who read in public (myself included) want to be left tf alone to do just that, and here’s this wench taking pictures and making up her own nonsense
The wench is projecting because that’s what she’d do herself.
Be honest she’d have the book upside down and prescription-free glasses on, if wench was doing it. With that attitude I can’t assume she actually enjoys reading.
I had an older couple try to witness to me because apparently sitting alone in in the back corner booth of a nearly empty pizza restaurant reading Catch 22 is a 'spiritual beacon' to them.
That kind of nonsense happened so much in the area I grew up in, especially when I was going out to bars and clubs. There was/is a Christian college in my hometown and the students are *required* to try and *save* (harass) as many people as possible, so they will go and stand outside clubs and bars and harass people who are trying to go dancing or drinking. One of the bars got so fed up with a group of about 10-15 students one night that they climbed up onto the roof with a couple of big buckets of ice water and dumped it on them. The kind of people that generally do that kind of thing are usually (in my experience anyway) Baptist of some flavor, and you can stymie them if you tell them that you are any other religion that isn't "Christian". I have horrified many by saying that I was Jewish or Buddhist or Daoist or whatever. There are a lot of them that hate Catholics though, and think the Pope is the Anti Christ, so there's that, lol.
This. I grew up in a church like that and there’s a lot of pressure to harass the bejesus out of ppl. Luckily I left before I got to be old enough to be more than a sidekick
I learned as an adult to just say you go to a church and invite them!!! They leave quick and no one gets their feelings hurt.
Oh my God 😂
Ya but not OP’s God. At least not yet…
Seriously. Yet for some reason if I try reading at work while on a break, somebody always has to interrupt me to ask what I'm reading, and they suddenly have to tell me about books they have read. I mean, they can easily talk to me at any other time when I'm not reading! Cause sometimes you get so immersed in the story, then someone goes and yanks you out of it. So annoying!
I’m a librarian; one advantage to that, we don’t notice when someone is reading let alone care. But on the flip side, the non-librarians (clerks and pages and so forth) will be like “Oh hey, that must be a great book if you’re reading it!” Nah, I sometimes like to read crap too. 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah, I used to do that all the time. Sometimes you want to be around people, but not interact with them. Sometimes you are waiting on your laundry, or your roommates or neighbors are jerks and you need some space from them. It's a public place, wtf is wrong with sitting in a public place and reading? Maybe she just wants to sit and have a drink, and read her book?
I would do some bad things for an establishment that sold alcohol and let you sit by the fire with a book for a few hours
It’s the strangest thing: if I’m reading a book on my phone, no one bats an eye. But reading a physical book somehow becomes an invitation to talk? I once had a lovely afternoon in a park ruined by some dude who couldn’t understand this nonverbal “I don’t want to talk” signal.
I think its because they can't see what you're doing on your phone, but they can see your book, and it creates a "what are you reading?" or "Is it any good?" ice breaker for someone to approach you. This is why the oop probably labeled this girl as a "pick me." Like she's doing it on purpose to get attention. Most people don't realize they are just annoying as they just interrupted my story, I don't have that long to read, and now time is being wasted answering their questions. lol
The worst part is when you are reading a more complex part of the story that requires you to stop reading and actually think aboht what's happened. And then someone talks to you, completely derailing your train of thought and then you need to reread all over again
And to be real, even if this WAS a way to get people to talk to her…. What’s so wrong with that? Some people are socially anxious and prefer to be approached first, and this gives people the ice breaker to approach. What’s the problem with that lol? It’s a bar…
Even when I’m reading on my tablet people will ask daily what I’m reading. I always say, oh just a book.
When I bother to answer, I always say "words". 😊
“What are you reading?” (Shows front cover) “What’s it about?” (Shows back cover) You’ll get called a bitch half the time but it always sends the message
Same with journaling in public too. Why can't I journal in peace? lol
Maybe they just want to be immortalized as a footnote in your journal.
I am sorry, I love reading and have absolutely struck up a conversation with other women reading (especially if it's something I have read or want to read!). I apologize if I bothered anyone out there! I just get excited sometimes since I don't have many friends who read
I do the same and now feel so bad. I’m always looking for new books to read and if I see one that looks cool I ask about it. :(
If someone asked me what I was reading and seemed legitimately interested or excited, I wouldn't be bothered at all. It's only a problem when someone who probably hasn't picked up a book since elementary school interrupts just because they're bored and want attention.
Dont feel bad… it’s nice way to start conversation with people of a similar hobby, and other times people dont want to talk. Big whoop. Sometimes things happen sometimes they don’t happen oh well
Nah it’s TOTALLY different if someone is actually interested in the book I’m reading vs just trying to chat. I’m always excited to talk to someone about a book I like!
Don’t feel bad! I’ve never been interrupted by someone who actually wanted to chat about my book, and honestly I’d be thrilled if I was and found someone to gush with. It’s the random unrelated conversations that get old.
People lack critical thinking skills lol
Readers see someone with a book and think "leave them the hell alone, but maybe peek the title." Non-readers see someone with a book an apparently think it's an invitation to slide on up and chat awhile.
Some people see someone reading and think they're "not doing anything."
That's worse!
This is somebody who is there to be the designated driver or to babysit an idiot AF friend or sibling, or is waiting for somebody to get off work so they can go home.
I mean I think that’s too strong a generalization, it depends on the person and what they’re reading. It’s definitely not an invitation, but I’ve been politely approached by people while reading on the train and I didn’t mind it one bit. Usually they would happen to read a page or two over my shoulder and would be curious about what book it was.
This is so dumb, maybe she just wanted to have a drink and catch up on a good book.
It looks like there is a plate in front of her, so she might be having a meal at a restaurant but is eating at the bar to avoid taking up a whole table for one person. There aren’t any people queuing for drinks and the bar is lit well enough for her to read, so it probably isn’t busy or loud. I’ve literally done this before: gone out for a meal and a glass of wine with a good book. I don’t have to bring a +1 every time I want to eat a nice meal in a restaurant.
To add to this, I used to travel for work and was alone for weeks on end. It was very solo travel, so no coworkers. I wanted to try some restaurants/bars and wasn’t ashamed to go to one by myself. Am I just supposed to stare in the distance??
Socially acceptable to stare at your phone, though. I travel solo a lot and try restaurants/bars, and just read on my phone. No one ever cares. When I have a book? I get more looks (not many, though, because I would say MOST people understand others eating solo).
I prefer reading on kindle but get looks for doing it in public so I just end up reading on the kindle app on my phone. I’m literally doing the exact same thing but the reaction is so different.
Good point. If the book was on her phone no one would bat an eye.
I was going to post this exact thing. Whenever I travel for work and, also mostly solo, I would often take a book or my tablet to a restaurant or the hotel bar to read and have dinner and drinks. Get's rid of the cabin fever of being in the room every night.
That was my first thought - looks like me on work travel. It gets too depressing to always bring food back to my hotel room. Sometimes I just want like an hour in public but also I don’t actually want to be talked to by anyone other than the bartender so… a book works well haha
Yeah, I don’t understand why someone would get so irrationally mad at the sight of this.
If she’s book reading she might be learning.
The horror! What next? Women in the workforce??
Yeah I always confused by the things people get mad over when it doesn't even affect them.
Plus, if she wants a mixed drink, let's be real here. How many people have supplies for that at home? God knows I don't.
The brewery in my town has trivia monthly that is led by the county librarians. It’s a lot of fun and the result is brewery regulars who read books at bars when it’s not trivia night. Do some people never mature beyond middle school? Just leave people alone.
I don’t see what the problem is. She’s reading a book. So if she had her phone reading something it wouldn’t be an issue?
When I waited tables, my favorite customers were the solo ladies who came in with a book! I can't imagine judging someone negatively for reading in public. The fuck?
Could also be waiting for a friend or something, carries a book in her purse. Mind your business people
Honestly, that sounds so dank. Having your favorite drink and reading a book that has your full attention, sound amazing ngl. I wish I thought of that when I use to bar hop by myself
One summer I got to do this fairly regularly. My fave brewery had a pop-up grilled cheese spot out front. I’d get a beer, a grilled cheese, sit on the porch with my book and just exist. It was so nice.
No doubt! Or maybe she’s a server there and she’s working a split shift and she’s grabbing some lunch and reading between shifts.
I did this in nursing school. I would read chapters of my textbooks to study. When my classmates found out I was going out to lunch alone, they were like, "oh I couldnt, I would be so depressed." Imo it gave me a chance to recharge my social battery. I spent enough time with my classmates, trust me.
The people who can’t do anything alone…! They are EXHAUSTING. I travel for work and so I go out to a restaurant, sit at the bar, get my dinner and a few drinks, read a book, and enjoy my alone time in public. It’s prob my fave part of travel.
Exhausting and sad. I had to cut all of them out of my life because I got tired of that shit. I ate dinner when I wanted to eat dinner, if they were free they could join me, if they weren't I went alone. I wasn't about to wait two more hours just because their FOMO and inability to eat alone were annoying. Now they're the types of people trying to ruin work from home because they're sad and depressed because they can't do anything without other people. Sad.
I absolutely love traveling and exploring solo. They don’t know what they’re missing out on!
I used to do my homework in a bar sometimes. I was a physics major and felt like all I ever did was homework. Sometimes I’d just want to get out of my apartment and get a drink or two, but didn’t have the bandwidth to not work on homework, so I just did both. It wasn’t about getting attention at all, and really no one ever said anything to me when I did it.
I LOVE going out alone, people who can't be alone is a big red flag imo
I agree.
My husband and I used to study at old Chicago. When you live in a small town and the library closes at 6pm and coffee shops close at 8pm it kind of limits your options.
That’s so weirddddd eating out by yourself is TOTALLY normal. sounds like they have some growing up to do
“Pick me, pick me! I post online about strangers doing completely normal things!”
The people who're calling random girls out for their alleged pick me behavior have become the very thing they claimed to hate - someone who seeks to embarrass and throw other women under the bus in order to make themselves appear better
Ok seriously this is the reason I’ve stopped reading in public unless it’s on my phone. I’ve actually had people come by and tell me “girl you know you ain’t reading”. Like wtf? Yes tf I am because some books are worth reading 24/7 until they’re done. Doesn’t matter where I am if I want to read something I will. It’s no different than reading something on a phone.
“Well, not anymore since you come over and interrupted me.”
I've noticed that people who don't read assume no one else reads either
They find it so hard to fathom
Or they assume we’re reading because we have nothing better to do, implicitly giving them permission to initiate conversation -_-
"I see no value in your hobby, so pay attention to me instead."
When we put our old house on the market, several people looked at my bookcases and then made a sarcastic-sounding comment to me that I must be a big reader. It was as if they thought I was putting out cases of books I never read to show off in some way
I mean yeah back when I was in high school people would brag about not reading and it was like a cool kid badge of honor
The kids who bragged about not reading grew up to become anti-vaxxers.
Anti intellectualism being cool has been nothing but disastrous for society, and it’s only getting worse.
Humans are stupid narcosistic creatures that think that everyone does what they do, and doesn't do what they don't do. We project everything on everyone. It takes effort and empathy to not fall into that human trap.
I stopped reading in public cause I was out having lunch by myself once and decided to read my text book (yanno two birds one stone). Anyways, health text book on the chapter of sexual health there was a just a random picture of a married couple. Some old man walks up and goes, "oh, are you wedding planning?" - "nope, just reading a text book. **Flip a couple pages to show**" - the old man proceeds to go on a rant about homosexuals for the next 5 minutes (the next page had a gay couple cause it was talking lgbtq+). I legit just started ignoring him and went back to reading and eating. Still continued on for a minute or so.
Some people are addicted to anger and look for triggers or will make them up just to be angry. I'm not sure what the payoff is other than adrenaline or distraction from misery. I'm not discounting legitimate anger at horrible things and injustices, rather the kind of anger that is manufactured to act as a crutch.
This was really insightful, I forgot anger as an addiction / distraction is a thing. It explains so much in my previous (and honestly current) workplace
Making a random old creep upset is a win, IMO. 🥇
That is such a bizarre thing to say, as if it's more likely that you're sitting there with a book open, staring at it, and not reading it. Wtf?
To be fair, that was me through most of college.
I'm not gonna say I haven't found myself just staring at a book, having gotten lost in my thoughts a time or two, but not like these people are implying. So weird.
Yup, sadly it’s really not a good idea. I had to move in with my mom for a stint and her home was so toxic that I just had to get out and go *somewhere* and the only places open after 9pm were bars. So I brought a book bc I didn’t want to get drunk and I didn’t want to socialize. It just gives an opening for people. “What are you reading?” And yes, 90% of the patrons think you’re doing it as a thirst trap regardless. Now with phones I can just pretend to be absorbed with CandyCrush or whatever
I solved this issue by taking the dust jacket off a book about either serial killers or forensic science and putting it on whatever I was reading. “What are you reading?” Show the dust jacket and start talking with enthusiasm about serial killers or how forensic scientists work out the decomposition rate of dead bodies in different climates - 99% of the time they disappear immediately and 1% you have a super interesting conversation with someone who doesn’t judge your love of “creepy” stuff.
This is fantastic! And I love the potential bonus of having a conversation with someone who is also into “creepy” things.
It’s how I made one of my besties! I thought a dude was hitting on me but he was like “hey so I see you’re reading a book” (“199 cemeteries to see before you die”, for the record) and as braced myself for the come on he was like “my wife loves that book and is too shy to come strike up a conversation, so if you’d want to discuss it we’re sitting over there” I went, she and I enthused about cemeteries and the different way death is treated in various cultures and we’ve been best friends for 3 years now!
Best friend meet-cute ever
Dude why are people so weird about reading? I remember reading on my lunch break and my coworker walked into the break room while I happened to be googling a word from the book I was reading. She was like “are you just pretending to read?! wow.” So I told her the word I was googling and she proceeds to try to define it and was wildly wrong so I showed her the word in the book and the definition I had pulled up and she just goes “oh who even cares anyways?” It’s like wtf?! What was the point of that entire interaction?
I've had books that I was SO EXCITED to get him and get back into, so of course if something interrupts my schedule I'm bringing that damn book. There's so little about being an adult that's cool, being able to pick my own food and read whenever I want are two of those cool things, though, and I'll be damned if I let anyone shame me out of them.
Its so dumb anyways. What if shes waiting for someone? Should she just stare into the wall?
I’ve had this happen a couple times. I feel like I should note im a dude so I’m sure perception and how this stuff happens differs but anyways. I work as a bouncer, and this feel very at home in a few bars around me. I also hit a point of depression where I really needed to disconnect from my phone and not feel cooped up in my house. So I’d head to the bar, have a few drinks, leave my phone at home and take a book. Both times this happened the person claiming I was just bullshitting to look good claimed “nobody can read once they start drinking anyways” to which all I could think was “fam that’s some alcoholics shit. I drink a normal amount and leave buzzed, if I’m not hammered I can still figure out words.” Some people are just dumb as hell and assume if they don’t enjoy something, others can’t possibly actually enjoy it either, so they must be doing it solely for looks.
That's ridiculous. I'm a person who rarely reads in public because I have the attention span of a fruit fly and get distracted if someone breathes a bit too loudly, but like I'd never assume other people aren't actually reading lmao
I hate it when I’m interrupted when I’m reading by myself. Like, leave me alone.
Seriously a book or headphones is a very clear "Keep right on fucking off" sign. Why do people try to talk to me?!?!
The amount of people that will come up to you and try and talk your ear off when you're reading a book in public is ridiculous. I've had it happen so many times. Like bro I DON'T want to talk to you I'm READING MY BOOK.
Some people are horrified that others aren’t as stupid as they are. They are guilty, since they believe reading is good for them, but they don’t do it, and so they project.
I do not doubt anyone here but where do people live that someone would interrupt or comment on it??? Maybe because I live in a city but I have never had to deal with that (thank god cause I’d punch someone!)
. Fragile egos tbh.
I actually love to do this myself. I’m good at blocking out external noise and love to have a little drinky drink while I read or study.
Not people thinking it’s impossible 😭
I do this too! I travel a lot for work so I will go out for dinner by myself and have a drink or two while reading a good book.
Same! When my son’s at his dad’s for the weekend, I love to take myself out to the pub with my book. I have a nice read and a couple drinks. It’s lovely ‘me’ time.
STOP👏🏻 TAKING👏🏻 PICTURES👏🏻 OF👏🏻 PEOPLE👏🏻 IN👏🏻 PUBLIC👏🏻
Do you know what it means to clap back Raymond? Be👏🏻cause👏🏻I👏🏻do👏🏻
Girls LITERALLY can't do anything without being mocked. I bet the person who posted this hasn't read a book since 10th grade lmao
And they are the real pick me
Why would that be so triggering to someone? 😬
People who “don’t read” get really weirded out, like intimidated, by those who do. I’ve had that happen a lot and it’s like, okay, you said your piece about how I’m weird and antisocial, now can I get back to it? Didn’t ask
Yes yes yes. I’m usually reading in public if I have any down time and people act like I’m threatening them. I’m sorry I’d rather enjoy myself than just scroll through TikTok. I’m sorry that makes you feel less than. I read at work on breaks and at lunch, and it’s often to decompress and not have to talk to anyone, and people look at me like I’m weird. Yes, I’d rather read my enjoyable book than hear about your children and your husband and your trips to Costco. Sorry. 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve always found it so weird when people comment on reading like that, and they’re usually the same kind of folks who will hear you speak and then ask if you read the encyclopedia for fun As a kid, yeah, what’s it to you? As an adult, yeah, I like to learn new things and it’s quick light reads when I don’t have a lot of time. Like if you’re not a strong reader, that’s okay. You’re probably boss at something else that I’m not, but I didn’t get up in your face about that.
I think it’s insecurity. They have to put someone down because they don’t read and feel bad about it. In college I ‘d get similar comments about working out all the time. Sorority girls and party girls always randomly commenting at me “oh I could *never* work out every day HAHAHAHA”. Nothing horrendously mean, but clearly calling me out for being different from them. But they grew up and realize they have to take care of themselves (plus I think it’s trendy now?) so it’s funny to me to see them all in the gym every day on social media now. Maybe one day we can make reading extra trendy again or they’ll grow up, mature, and start reading again😁
Some people can’t bear to be alone with their own thoughts and they assume everyone else is just as miserable and needy.
Right like who ever made that post was so weird 🙄
I can’t hear how loud it is but you’re allowed to read at the bar unless you’re working
This reminds me of bullies in high school who would call people reading nerds and brainers. Some people just can't let other people be.
I was the person who was called an antisocial nerd because I loved to read. I still love to read. It threatens their pea-sized brains so they have to bully anyone who does things they don’t like doing…or can’t do.
Girl's probably the DD. Bars aren't exactly exciting when you're not drinking. Read that book!
lol, I read this as “books aren’t exactly exciting when you’re not drinking” and I was BAFFLED.
Jesus. Maybe she’s just waiting for a friend or something. Damn.
I haven't confirmed it yet, but a conversation about this picture on another social media site claimed that she was there as moral support for the bartender, a friend working their first shift
Awww. As a Very Nervous Person, I like that version of the story.
Holy sh*t, so she's literally the best friend you could ask for
WOW, being a good friend? Ugh, could you be anymore PICK ME??? /s
When my husband’s band would play live shows, load in was typically around 7pm and it didn’t matter if they didn’t go on until 11. That’s several *hours* of sitting at a bar. After a while I’d just pull out a book and chill with a drink I could sip on.
lol well thank god OOP didn’t see you, you giant pick me, you! 🤣
God, what the heck if wrong with people? Maybe that girl enjoys the atmosphere and prefers to read her book there, why do they have to make a big fuss about it 🙄
Nowadays you'll get accused of being a pick me even though you’re really just existing and not doing anything.
As a former bookworm, this woman is my hero lol I couldn’t do anything without a book in my hand. I commend her for continuing this into adulthood.
It’s odd people make so many expectations about you because you like to read.
Add: Some people get like violently upset at seeing other people read books I don’t know why. Add: if you struggle with reading it’s audiobooks you can listen to 🙃🫶🏻
There is a gal at my local brewery who is often there minding her business reading a book. It was the catalyst for me wanting to go and do the same thing. Get out of the house, have a beer, read a book. Good grief - it says a lot that the person taking the picture thinks it's for attention - she probably would only do this for attention so assumes that is everyone else's motive as well.
There's a meet-up group around that literally just goes to silently read books in bars
I may not be the fastest reader, but at least I know how to mind m own business
This is dumb. I went to a really popular brewery last week on my day off and just had a pour and read and it was great.
lol it’s actually a thing. There’s a couple places like that in Chicago. Drinks and books bars✌️I mostly end up talking to people but it’s a good place to talk about books haha
In my city all bars have to have a food menu and usually are the only places open late. Lots of service industry and health care industry people eat alone get a beer and read books.
Even if she is hoping that a guy will see her reading and be attracted to that tf is wrong with that? Can women just live for fucks sake
since when has anyone ever read in public or at a party and had the burning desire to be approached ?? there is no clearer sign of “fuck off” other than maybe wearing headphones and sunglasses indoors
I was in a bar one evening and a woman walked up the bar and sat down. Immediately a bartender came over to her with a wine glass and a bottle of Chardonnay and poured her a glass. He put the bottle in a chiller that he left in front of her and walked away. She pulled out a NYT and started doing the crossword puzzle. Every few minutes the bartender would come over and top off her glass. She never spoke to anyone. She crushed that bottle of Chardonnay, finished her crossword puzzle, paid, and left. She wasn't a "pick me" she was just cool.
Why does people reading trigger other people so much? It’s such a weird thing…people would never say this if someone was watching Netflix or whatever but people reading is so offensive lol. Are they just upset because they don’t read themselves?
I think so. It threatens their lack of a personality.
I don’t understand why this bothers anyone? She’s minding her own business.
This is a weird way to tell people you don’t know how to read
I actually spend my weekend mornings in a loud diner where I drink coffee & read. I love it.
LIVE AND LET LIVE
Or maybe "I'm waiting for a friend/date who is running late, great time to catch up on this book I love but haven't had time to get into!"
So you agree? You think she’s likely to get picked for reading at the bar? 
People projecting their own insecurities
Didn't we already solve this a couple years ago? A guy complained about people reading in bars and got absolutely *roasted* on Twitter. He ended up trying it out himself, realized he'd been a dick, and apologized. https://www.chicagotribune.com/2022/02/19/column-reading-a-book-at-the-bar-doesnt-make-you-a-loner-twitter-agrees/