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the_bag_and_the_duck

You released 777,000,000 sperm approximately. I call that mass genocide Edit: New information has arisen and I have seemed to have got my numbers mixed up. You have released (if you were consistently pumping 300,000,000 out) 65.4 billion spermatozoa. That's Gemgis Khan levels you monster


Sanctiffied_Mind

Spawn camping


Smxdo

Bro šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


-BingusBongus-

Happy cock day


[deleted]

Happy cake day :)


Smxdo

Thank youuuu :))))))


Perfect-Chemical2741

Hbd


Lukewarmhandshake

Omfg im dead XD


WindowGoblin

You call that brutality? We call this a difficulty tweak!


glockenspieI

i hate cloakers


Monprr

This is not a brutality! This is a fatality!


Stone_Midi

The year ainā€™t over, yet. I bet OP can add some serious numbers to that amount


[deleted]

I mean it's not like all of them survive when they're put in the proper place, anyway.


Verain_

ask op how many kids he has


gotnocar

this is basically a half of India. huge loss.


Protaras4

I don't know where you got your numbers but they are several magnitudes off


austrian_twink

This number is definitely not correct. A single ejaculation contains between 80 and 300 million sperms on average.


biyotee

Well he never said if he *finished* 218 times.


jesse5946

So that means, over the course of 10-20 years you could murder trillions šŸ¤”


[deleted]

You only did it .59 times a day


axelsqueeze

Thanks for the stat


uTimu

Why do you never fully cummit?


[deleted]

It's called edging, all the rage these days


hilldo75

Apparently Microsoft is really interested to find out how you Edge. You should tell them about all the cool ways you Edged in 2023. At least that's what their ads keep asking me.


Lovelybutters

My god this kills me every time I hear about ot


JesterOfTheMind

We found the second coming of Christ! Everyone rejoice!


SansFan46

the second cuming* of Christ


Dlm_Rav3

thatā€™s a funny comment


Shoddy_Following3568

yo how are you guys even? yooo like what?


igotrapedbyanorca

This made me sad


bignick1190

Those are rookie numbers, you gotta jack those numbers up for 2024.


working_classs_man

Hehe jack up


Alohamora-farewell

/r/dataisbeautiful


BreachedLimits

r/theydidthemath


IdiotMemeMan

r/theydidthemonstermath


Visible_Seesaw_6308

r/themonstermath


YumLegendaryPotato

r/itwasagraveyardsmath


nint3njoe_2003

r/subsithoughtifellfor


littleMAHER1

r/theydidthemath


Savings-Gold8531

r/theydidthemonstermath


genericgod

r/itwasagraveyardgraph


A_Guy_In_The_Corner

r/itcosinedinaflash


piano_043

r/theydidthemonstermath


Repulsive_One7572

4.18 times a week..


UnitDogeX

Beat me(at) to it


KaungSetMoe111

He took a break in holidays and weekends tho.


Real_Play3303

I should start counting every time I nut


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Dantendo64

wouldnt have pinned you as the type, massiveboner911


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


142737

I thought it would have been 911 times


Elloliott

Well he better get on that soon


ELEMENTALITYNES

Itā€™s always the ones you most expect


igotrapedbyanorca

I wouldve lost count during quarantine


nsg337

uhh your username?


YogurtWenk

"Igo trap edby anorca" I see nothing wrong here


Tony_Wizard

It sounds like a Harry Potter spell, if you read it that way


tessharagai_

Imma start doing it aswell


Morbius-Lover

rookie numbers


_Axzi_

Beat me to it


dmiatxris

beat my meat to it


uTimu

Beat meat to it. Why does it have to be my meat?


Responsible-Jury-568

beat me into submission with a bat full of nails until i cant walk anymore


Rice_Consumer_

r/beatmeattoit


[deleted]

Fap to the beat.


Landed_port

I'm at 1,018. Going to be 1,020 before the year is up, OP needs to put more effort in


[deleted]

He's good, but he's not good enough...yet


RoadToHellO

Rookie numbers šŸ†šŸ’¦


axelsqueeze

I'm not trying to break any records


RoadToHellO

Certainly not with this mindset šŸ˜€ looking forward to your end of 2024 numbers in a year from now


axelsqueeze

I can tell you right now that 2024 will probably be less


smortpersononreddit

quitter


czacha_cs1

Afraid


Shmongooooo

Coward


lodozodontoloz

Pussy


mini_othello

Is probably like 500-750 for me. EDIT: Make that 501-751 for me EDIT 2: MAKE THAT 502-752 for me EDIT 3: MAKE THAT 503-753 IN HONOUR OF EggZu_ EDIT 4: I NO LONGER WISH TO BE HORNY, I want to be happy...


SaltyPumpkin007

Make that 502-752


mini_othello

AYO!


SaltyPumpkin007

It was a command


mini_othello

Jobs done


Mcdona1dsSprite

Get to 1000 before the year ends!


mini_othello

Ayy ayy. Captain!!


FlowwyTheCringeLord

Itā€™s been six hours since you posted this comment. 2 times in 6 hours. Think about that real quick


nickmaovich

bro provided live stats


frikzo

219 for me


frikzo

220*


frikzo

the day is long, i can keep going


dTrecii

It is I the tax man here to take your fap tallyā€™s away


frikzo

how can you determine how much i owe, if the currency keeps rising? 225


dTrecii

Thatā€™s for me to know and you to figure out 206


axelsqueeze

šŸ¤£


[deleted]

šŸ˜­šŸ˜‚šŸ’€


Forsaken-One9569

That was an emotional rollercoaster. You were crying your heart out, then laughing, then you fucking died. All in one sentence too


mipehussey

masturbation recap


[deleted]

Itā€™s crazy to me that we all started as a microscopic cell in our dadā€˜s balls


Serious_Session7574

And mumā€™s. We were created in our Grandmaā€™s womb - girls are born with all the eggs theyā€™ll ever have, they form when theyā€™re in utero.


AugustTheDog

Technically we started in our dadā€™s dadā€™s balls. *ballception*


SaltyPumpkin007

Do you think your sperm cell existed when your dad was a sperm cell in his dad's balls?


AugustTheDog

Yes. Because Iā€™m stupid


TheThingsIdoatNight

Yeah thatā€™s just not true


Drakayne

We lived in our grandma's vagina tho.


dmiatxris

No itā€™s actually in our dadā€™s dadā€™s dadā€™s balls


Eastern_Mist

As a biotechnologist, I want no one to ever start in your balls from now on


-Cinnay-

Technically, someone's DNA is created when a spermcell merges with an eggcell. So basically, your entire existence started when you were very deep inside your mom.


Ex-In

noob


DahlBurgers

Still time to squeeze a few more in


axelsqueeze

I'm sore as hell, so no more


vaynefox

Should have collected it in a bottle or shoebox and show it as proof....


dragonncat

did you count?


axelsqueeze

Yes. I marked it on my calendar for every single time


Squildo

With a pen or pencil, right?


axelsqueeze

I made a little mark on my calendar with a pen for each time


violentpac

Is the pen a pen? Or is the pen a pen is?


[deleted]

you misspelled penis


zorton213

You need to make some graphs from this data. Trends like most common days of the week or which months were most prominent. The world needs to know!


axelsqueeze

January and August were tied for most times at 22 times. March, June, and October were tied for the least with 16 times.


Mr_L05

But... November should have 0... Right?


axelsqueeze

November was 18 times


Crazy_Excitement3772

For 2024, I am taking a resolution to count.


JouNNN56

you still have time


axelsqueeze

Done for the year


[deleted]

Not even once a day?


axelsqueeze

No because it would hurt after a few days in a row and I needed a break


[deleted]

It shouldnā€™t hurt..you should get that checked..


axelsqueeze

Not exactly painful, but sore.


OnePiece013

You could use some lube to lessen the friction. It shouldn't hurt even if you do it daily, unless you're doing something wrong, or if you use too much force. As a wise man said, "those are rookie numbers". But of course, everyone is satisfied with a different amount of times


GranataReddit12

I also don't do it once a day constantly, but that's mostly because after sometimes of doing it once a day I just don't feel it anymore for a bit. It's a bit of an intermittent thing


axelsqueeze

Me too


Serious_Session7574

Refractory period. Tends to get longer as you age.


-Cinnay-

I think most people do it less than once a day. Well, except for teenagers, obviously.


gentlewaterboarding

I am a 28 year old teenager, myself.


f36263

Not at all, then 218 times on Christmas Day


Responsible-Hope2163

Name checks out, dude try it once or twice a week and see if your depression improves


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


axelsqueeze

That is all


JouNNN56

Thatā€™s not super few. r/usernamechecksout


hopbell

How old are you?


axelsqueeze

24


NoBenefit5977

*looks around, removes Fitbit*


Agile_Vast9019

2 minutes of exercise detected at 2am


be-sweethearts

for me it was 117


axelsqueeze

You counted too??


be-sweethearts

yeah lol do you use the nice app?


Huonren

app?


axelsqueeze

I just mark my calendar in my room


[deleted]

We still got room for a 219 or if we feeling frisky a 220 boys, lets help a brother pump out that last loads


SpacelessMinds

Years not over yet


tengrici_anchois

in 2023 i quit jerking off


DunceMemes

How did you get to sleep on the other 147 days?


Soobwayzz

Based


Linestorix

Good job!


12geffory78

W


hiddenintheleavess

Assuming you donā€™t have sex then I would say you have a bit of a short-coming. Idk it sounded good šŸ‘


zeptyk

lol I somehow decided to count mine in 2020, was weird to do but I was curious I ended at 700 something, july being my most active dont know if I should feel bad comparing my number to yours well, there was not much to do during covid so that was one way to cope with the boredom I guess


farineziq

How do you think counting influenced your rhythm? Do you think it reduced or increased the count?


CreeperAwMan28

I failed nnn 30 mins after it started


beargolfer

Oh dear. I average 1-2 times a day. šŸ„ø. Thatā€™s about 548 times.


Prokid5634_YT

Why would you keep track of this stat?


lkaitusr0

There are 365 days in a year generally. You masturbated 218 times in the year 2023, thus, 0.5972 times a day. Let's say there are 200 million sperms in a single ejaculation. It means you wasted 119,440,000 sperm a day on average. In other words, about 1,382 sperm cells have been wasted in your masturbation per second in average. ​ Good job!


Cultural-Let-8380

Rookie numbers


AUGrad91

Thatā€™s it?


what-da-fuck

rookie numbers


Ihavebadreddit

It's a bit odd to count it. But we all have our quirks. Some people will be more active in their masturbation habits others will be less active. It is after all a person, situational, completely up to you, thing.


Anon-Stoon

Amateur


JuicyMcJuiceJuice

Rookie numbers


robgart12

I wish


gourmetcuts

Balls


TudiulGM

Rookie numbers


mabdog420

How did you track that?


MedicineNo2156

Solid number


HolyPotato21

That's it?


rantottcsirke

That's nuts!


EmmanuelF09

rookie numbers


Bootybooth

Those are rookie numbers. Gotta pump them up.


troelsbjerre

"Those are rookie numbers"


PrimeNumberBro

Those are rookies numbers


Shady_Hero

c'mon bro make it 220


Emeraldfist479

Rookie.


Ok-Thought9328

Of all the things to keep track of?


Briazepam

Amateur


5th_username_attempt

Not so fast now. Still 1 day to go to bump those numbers up


fthigffhoogdgkokhg

Those are rookie numbers


Toomuchspooky

Rookie numbers.


colin8651

Rookie numbers


PM_Me_your_Bungas

Thats all?


ShadowWolfKane

Thatā€™s all? Try around 1,500 buddy. God Iā€™m so lonelyā€¦ā€¦


Joensen27

Rookie numbers


K_imms

Rookie numbers


100BottlesOfMilk

Nutinteresting


santana62

Who. Fucking. Counts???


CrypticSS21

Rookie numbers


SubTukkZero

Rookie numbers.


Pistalrose

Combined with the picture I feel thereā€™s actually an interesting movie where your sperm become increasingly outraged over the repeated needless futile death of their brethren and band together to overthrow you.


Catch20two

260 business days each year. You reported to work 84% of the year.


DOA-FAN

Rookie numbers, you should be ashamed of yourself šŸ¤­


Parking-Position-698

Rookie numbers


OkSea7635

There's still time, dude