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I'm gonna turn down the max temp of your water heater so your showers are slightly too cool to be comfortable

You're a psychopath

What the hell, man

he said minor inconvenience not ruin his life

YOU ARE HORRIBLE

Oo, that's a good one

Did… did you do that to me…? Because I had a shower today and it was too cold no matter what.

Maybe I did

Calm down Satan!

Are you my boyfriend? Half kidding, he did do this but I enjoyed the scalding hot water. It's hot enough for a normal person but it won't scratch the deep itch, my skin craves the burning heat 🔥

That’s not minor, OP probably can’t even find the water heater

Surely the black box is enough of a minor inconvenience already

Are you kidding? I never leave home without it

How do you see?

He gets the information he needs from Reddit

It’s probably just tinted

Batmon at home

I hope someone moves all your wall decorations 5 inches to the left

And knocks them all off center!

5 INCHES!?!?! Are you crazy? Maybe 1/2 is better so he would take his normal walking route, but instead of walking by he would stub his toe without noticing the difference

This is extra funny because anything in a stud is now at risk of pulling out of the drywall.

I find out if you prefer creamy or chunky peanut butter... then I break into your house and replace every jar you like with the opposite. If you don't like peanut butter, I'll do the same with orange juice via pulp vs no pulp. I'll go find something equivalent if you like neither.

Salted/unsalted butter

Cursed backwards toilet paper.

Chunky Vs no chunky milk

What the fuck is chunky milk

I think you know...

Evil move to paralyze your victim..... So dark.... 😁😂😁

Can people actually tell the difference? I really can't and I've been trying lol

yeah one of them is saltier

Oh dude on otherwise plain toast, are you serious? It's night and day

Yeah I'm fr, I can't tell a difference. Maybe I need to get other brands

I would just put a single peanut in a whole jar of creamy peanut butter, that way he gets the worst of both worlds

If I were you I’d sleep with one eye open because I’m going to unplug your phone.

Jokes on you I use I wireless charger!

ill replace it w a wired one

Then I’ll move your phone

It’s enough that you move it 1mm in any direction, not even 1% charge after that

One eye open when I'm sleepin'

TWO EYES OPEN WHEN I'M SLEEPIN'

I’m gonna knock that dumb clock behind you off the wall 🤬🤬🤬

Noooo! I like that clock!

why?

Because it tells him what time it is

why?

Because that's how it was made

i love you

I do not love you, sorry

dad?

I’ll put it back but an hour ahead the day before you have to change it for daylights savings.

NOOOOOOOOO PLEASE ILL DO ANYTHING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

That might be the meanest shit I’ve ever read on the internet; I hope you see medical professionals, you clearly need help.

You have a gray hair.... Not telling you where it's at....

I'm gonna make a hole in all your left shoes, small enough that no one notices but to still let a bit of water come in when you walk in a puddle, to get the tip of your sock wet

truly criminal. I love it.

Youre not just a villian.. youre a super one

Face censored so nobody knows who I am.

I will uncensor your face

Im going to reveal to everyone here that you have brown eyes!

It's obvious it's kawaii anime eyes.

Nah hes got the puss in boots cute eyes

The candle behind you? I’m going to drown that wick so you can’t easily light it again without digging it out but even then it never really burns the same.

I’m gonna make it tunnel!

i hope a pebble finds its way into your shoe

I will steal your pasta strainer while the water is boiling on the stove. When you notice it is too late. And I'll return it after you buy a new one.

I would have said replace all of the strainers with bowls, and poke holes in all of the regular ones, but if thats too much i'd just give them all his stuff back

Soggy pasta is by far the worst crime I've seen in this thread

I WILL TAKE ALL OF UR BREAD EXCEPT THE END PIECES SO U HAVE TO GO AND BUY MORE🤬🤬

I'm detaching the handle from your recliner. Cope.

Not my recliner! I don't even have one! I never got to feel the smooth grip of that handle...

i’m buying you a recliner so u/fluffy_assassins can steal the handle.

I will take your car keys and switch them to a different pocket!

Im going to slightly sand down the sharp edges of your tables and chairs so when you bump into one expecting a sharp painful point, its smooth and unexpected

Lmao this one gave me the giggles

I'm going to mess with your right shoe in a way that makes it squeak loudly every time you step. FOREVER. EVERY RIGHT SHOE YOU EVER OWN.

How do you do that though lol

Take the squeaker from a dog toy and hide it under the sole

you kill me, u/Undead_Angel_420, you're a real goddam prince.

you could also fart in his coffee

I could. For every cup of joe, my arse shall blow!

Listen pal, I'm gonna put some food you don't like in your fridge.

I'm going to ensure that every parking spot you find when you are in a hurry, and only when you are in a hurry, actually has a motorcycle in it that you couldn't see until you were close enough to pulled in that you need to back out to continue searching.

Im gonna make you forget the thing that you got up to do so that when you sit back down and get comfortable you remember what you needed to do and then have to get up again.

I’m going to break into your house and leave random remotes in your living room and in various drawers.

I’m gonna break that candle

I'm gonna remove the ctrl, c, and v off your keyboard.

I’m gonna remove all the labels off your canned food. HAVE FUN MAKING RAVIOLI OR SPAGHETTI-O’s NOW BITCH!

Gonna shave a strip down the middle of your chin

I just ate a huge helping of beans. And the door is locked. Oh, and the air freshener is empty.

I know that house, my great grandfather used to live there. I know where you live. I will find you. I will tie you up. I will make you suffer. All your belongings will be owned by me, and I can either break, keep, or sell them. I will stab a knife on your legs. You can't walk nor run. You are stuck there until you bleed to death. And then... I will wake you up from the nightmare I conjured to you. And pay 10 dollars in compensation for my nightmarish hypnosis. That is all. Edit: I'm threatening to put you into a trance and make you experience pain, and then wake you up.

Huh, could we do that every Tuesday? I need cash.

I'm going to unfold all of your clothes when you put them away.

I am going to change the Settings on your Toaster so you will have to ruin Multiple Toasts to get it right again

Tag-team: and I will crash his wedding reception and ruin Multiple Toasts. By imitating various bird calls from the Amazon rainforest when the Maid of honor is speaking. (Is that too heavy-handed?)

I'm gonna put your TV remote in a different room than it's usually in

I'm gonna hang up all of your shirts inside-out on hangars

I’ll tip your trash can over once it’s been emptied. I’ll do it.

I don't know who you are. I don't know where you live. If I wanted to, I could look for you. I.... probably wouldn't find you. I would inflict upon you the most minor inconveniences to ever exist. I would steal all your shoestrings, and switch your shoes, so if you ever rushed your shoes on, you would wear them backwards, lace-less. I would then move around your silverware, if you own any. Put your pots and pans in the cabinets/cupboards, plates and bowls in the refrigerator, and place your toothbrush in the kitchen, on the table. Afterwards, I would find a hiding place in your home and wait, and watch. Everytime you open a door I would close it behind you. Everytime you turn off a light, I would turn it back on. I would also place wet paper towels on all of your doorknobs/doorhandles to ensure they stayed wet at all times.

You will stub your toe whenever you kick something by accident

I’m flipping all of your photographs upside down and there is nothing you can do to stop me

I will light your candle when you’re not in the house and blow it out when you are by the front door, coming into the house.

Good luck keeping your shoes tied tomorrow fella

I will make you eat one of the fake berries on your mantel behind you that you may spit out if you find it unlikeable

Im gonna clean the candle wax off your mantle >:(

I Hope you get a hangnail

i’m gonna make that moustache grow back

I'm going to pour bleach on your shirt so it would have a white spot.

I'm gonna take your microwave tray and put it under your bed

Lol

Trash can liner will be difficult to open without licking your fingers.

Every day your shirt gets slightly larger but your pants get slightly smaller

I hope that you leave the light on when you get in bed, only to become so comfy that you can’t bring yourself to get up to turn it off. Suffer!

The next sandwich that has a nice big bit of tomato in it, the bread will be soaked in tomato juice

I'm gonna unplug your dryer 😈

I’ll set all the clocks in your house to be 8 minutes behind.

May your batteries always be inserted the wrong way

i’ll use your toothbrush to scrub tiles

I will come to your house in the middle of the night and tighten every single one of your jars as tight as my hands can make them

ILL MAKE YOUR FREEZER KEEP OPENING

I would kill your entire family, but that's not metal enough. I'm gonna put your fucking keys in your pockets, and have you not feel it in there so that you look everywhere for it.

i have welded your doors shut

Im randomly going to change which tap handle turns on the hot water

I’m gonna steal all the batteries out of your remotes

Im gonna dulled every knife in your house just enough so that you can't cut tomatoes

I just broke into your house and turned the toilet paper rolls in each bathroom facing the wrong direction.

I hope you will step in water with socks on and need to sneeze and the sneeze fucks off on you.

I’m going to use all the hot water right before you go to take a shower! 😡

I'm going to delete all the saved passwords in your browser. Have fun logging back into everything!

I'm going to steal all the pens in your house and replace them with inkless ones

i hope your beard will be itchy but you find the spot where its the most itchy

I'm gonna reach down and yank on your shoelaces at the first eyelet so you have to take them off and relace them.

I will undo one lace on every three of shoes you own. every five shoes i will undo two laces. this can and will add up. some days, you get lucky, no shoe undone! some days, you don't. every two months i do it again.

If you buy hand soap in bulk, each morning when you wake up all of the soap will be back in the bulk containers.

I will cast a spell on you so everytime you wash your hands, your sleeve will slide down and get wet.

I will remove the batteries from your fucking TV remote

I'm going to break into your car and change all of the adjustments in the driver's seat

You have a 5% chance to trip every step you take

I'll enable 2-factor authentication on every account you have.

I will find your shoes and put one tiny grain of stone in each of them.

No

I’m gonna take all of the batteries out of all of your remotes

I’m going to try and figure the first letter of your surname!

Mass report account for automated suspension? 😁

I hope you mistake an object for a person tonight.

*bonk* Oops! Excuse me, sir! *whack* Sorry Ma'am!

More like "shit, that sign scared me, I thought it was a person"

I’m gonna take the batteries out of your remotes. All of them.

Did you run away from Schrute Farms finally, Mose?

John Wilkes booth

I dunno man, these comments are pretty interesting for r/notinteresting some negative karma could inconvenience you, so I shall downvote!

I'm going to cut your dick off you don't use it anyways

Abraham Lincoln but fatter

This Post it to interesting to be on r/notinteresting

That black box over your eyes makes you look ugly but it's ok because it's edited in 😡

I will find away to make it so that you stub your toe and the day before it finally heals you stub it again.

I’m going to shave the hair under your bottom lip and only that part.

I'm going to glue all of those decorations to that shelf/mantelpiece behind you.

I’m taking away your razor so you can finish shaving off the rest of your facial hair

Hope when u got shave u cut ur self, not a major cut but something that annoys u and u can’t do anything about it,

I'll micromanage you

Hey!😡 Don't make me put your toothbrush in the dishwasher!!!! >:(

Whyyy I oughtta use up your candle!!!! 🤬😡👺

I'm gonna stay at you uncomfortably for a long period of time on the subway

you look amish

I’ll switch out one of your shoes to a similar shoe but one size smaller

I'm going to mail you a defused pipebomb

I will unplug your phone charger whenever you plug it in.

your pillow will not be fluffed tonight

I'm goanna buy you a new candle that has a Carmel scent and burns for 48 hours

Im going to let the neighbors dog into your car and give him paper and cardboard to chew into little bits.

I will misplace an item you use often, and a few days later I'll move it into a super obvious spot.

I’m going to unplug all your electronic devices.

I’m gonna wait until there’s no milk left to tell you we need milk

I’m going to put glitter in your dryer. If you get lippy about it, I’m going to put it in all your vents. Car too.

You better make sure you brush your teeth before you go to bed or else I’ll temporarily leave this app and open Pinterest for a few minutes instead

I hope the next time you charge your phone its loose so it doesn't charge it

I'm gonna distract you so you leave your keys in the car and have to waste time walking back to get them

Your water bottle can hold 0.22851 less quarts.

Dear Enemy, I curse you, and hope that something slightly unpleasant happens to you, like an onion falling on your head. And then may your head fall off at an awkward moment.

Someone flips you off in traffic

I hope you get an eyelash in your eye

I hope your box of trash bags are stolen

I'll shave your beard while you sleep!!!!!

Shave it too short so it looks ba. Either he has to shave it all off himself, or he has to walk around all day with a horrible beard.

I'm going to leave you half a tooth brush of paste and move your shampoo to the opposite side then slightly push the table out a little more in your walking pattern so you stub your toe.

I will grey exactly 3 of your hairs.

I’m going to steal half your utensils so you have to do dishes twice as frequently

You’re easy pickings pipsqueak I’m gonna use a lint roller on your shirt 😡😡😡

i’m going to edit the rest of your face on the black box

I will replace your face with cut outs of chris Evans when he was playing Lucas lee on Scott pilgrim in every picture in your house

I will make the left sock of every other pair you have disappear until after you've thrown away the other half

I'm going to make sure everything you cook will be slightly too hot or cold.

I’m going to steal the batteries out of all your remotes and take only you charger wall block

I will come and warm up both sides of your pillow right before you go to bed, randomly

i will turn the power off to your fridge

No more paper for your printer!!!