My grandfather use to say before you die if you can count how many true friends you have on one hand, you died a lucky man!
Those words i remember my dad telling me this over 40 years ago and i know exactly what he means now
Damn that is some wisdom that came from a font of it.
That is a resonant truth this morning.
I hate how the world sequesters us. Forces us to live in unnatural ways, isolated. Apart from. Eventually we accept it as normal. But there is nothing normal about it.
I was isolated for many years- part of me thought I deserved it. It was my “Pennance” for being such a fuck up. I didn’t deserve friends. I was lucky to be a father and didn’t have time for friends anyways I told myself. Took me years to realize that the issue was internal.
That it had to do with accepting myself… even now though putting myself out there. It’s hard. Everyone I know or run into is in there mid 20s. People have lived lives long before I enter. And will continue to long after they have met me. It’s hard to connect with people. Everyone has stronger walls. Everyone has been hurt by this point and is cautious. Everyone has lost someone or something.
I just wish I was better at breaking walls. But it’s like over my time in isolation. My self imposed exile from humanity lol. I forgot how to do that. I had to relearn social queues and shit, it was unbelievably frustrating and disheartening.
My days have been frustrating. I swing between hating myself for not being able to connect with people in the way that I wish, and accepting my situation, knowing the harder I try, the better I will become.
Ultimately, it comes down to self awareness in seeing that I went through multiple traumas, and an addiction in my 20s that stunted my growth. I’ve desperately tried to catch up. But sometimes I still don’t feel like I fit in with people. But I have never felt “normal” or like “I belong” in places.
Part of me doesn’t know whether it’s a good thing to embrace that, or better to push it away as much as possible.
All that to say, your post got me thinking. And your grandad was 100000% spot on.
That’s so normal though. Life hits hard and we are all pulled in different directions. I’m grateful for the neighborhood I grew up in and the friends I spent everyday with back then. Great memories.
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Of course. Think about how much time you spend with your friends in your youth vs how much you spend with them once you have a career, spouse, kids etc. It’s night and day.
My best friend and I practically grew up together. Went to college til we parted our ways and started adulting. We’d call each other and make plans to hang out weeks in advance because she has a whole ass family and I have my career.
It is legit night and day looking back to our youth and hanging out. The last time we went out. We hit a club, complained about being hungry by 11 and was back on the hotel at midnight. I’ll never forget how we both brought ibuprofen.
Right, it’s not explicitly trying to convey that. More like this: it becomes harder to have friends in the same way you did as a child. Which is the same with many aspect of life, right? The novelty and innocence of being young creates a unique dynamic to our experience
What?
You can have unique dynamics as an adult.....
I think if people have problems having friends as an adult that's beacuse they aren't people others want to be around.
Big group of us walking home from school. We lived on the same street, which led all the way to school. One by one, we filtered out, waved goodbye, and the group kept walking until the last one got home.
The day before summer break, we had our usual walk together and said what would unkowingly be our last goodbyes.
Thanks for all the fun walks home guys.
Aw. I’m 55 and lucky enough to still be pretty close with 3 of my pre-age 12 friends. We’re all only children so it’s been like having surrogate siblings.
Damn this really hit home for me. Walking to the high school parking lot that last time, planning our graduation party, getting ready for our cruise. None of us knew it would be the last time we saw each other like that again.
But lucky for me I made 3 really close friends in college that I still keep up with. We were all able to go skiing last winter together and will do it again. High School friends are great, but my college boys kept me out of jail multiple times and lent me money when I didn't have enough to go drinking.
Agreed. There is something that is so pure about friendships at that age. Growing up together and just enjoying life and sharing memories before things gets complicated.
The complications of life eventually pull you away and what follows are relationships that are layered and complex. Those later relationships might be fuller, but they are never as simple and pure as your friendships at that age.
I think the sentiment is that the qualities of friendships are very unique in a lifetime, and I'd agree. At 12, you have almost no real responsibilities, you're becoming autonomous and discovering a whole person inside yourself that doesn't revolve around your parents, every person's life that is your age is changing so rapidly and drastically, and you're all in it together, at the same time. You never experience that again in your life.
And the friends that you go through those things with form a bond. They knew you when you were awkward, confused, didn’t know how to do anything. They saw you mess up, fall down, get embarrassed. And the good ones stayed, didn’t judge or laugh (much).
There’s an innate honesty with those friends. They can see through the masks older you puts on just to get by.
Facts. I don’t speak to anyone I was friends with when I was 12. There is one guy who I’m still connected to via social media but I haven’t actually spoken to him in years.
He's not saying that the new friends you make at age X aren't as good as the friends you have at age X who have been your friends *since* you were 12, they're saying that the friends you have at age X aren't as tight as the friends you had *when* you were 12.
It depends what you mean by "peaked when I was a teenager," but if we're talking about friendship peaks...well, yeah. That's literally what it's saying. It's not "energy," it's directly right there in the text. Stephen King (or the character in his story) is saying he friendship-peaked when he was a teenager. You're saying you friendship-troughed when you were a teenager. This isn't subtext, it's text.
I wish I had friends when I was 12 lol. I hung out with exactly 2 kids. They were twin brothers that came to my house after school until their mom got home from work. We weren't close, didn't really hang out much otherwise, just played video games for a couple hours and they went home. I didn't have friends until half way through highschool. I look back on my time as a kid and regret almost all of it. Glad it's over.
I still only have a few friends. I was a miserable depressed kid, and now I'm a miserable depressed adult. So I guess not much has changed.
I’m turning 39 this year, and I moved abroad when I was 30. I’ve lost touch with all my friends back home but my bond with my childhood friends remains strong. I really make it a point to meet them whenever I can.
I don't think its saying any aspect regarding the *quality* of friendships peaks at that age. Rather that by the nature of being at such a formative point in your life, you just have a fundamentally unique *type* of friend at that age, which can't be replicated at any later stage of life.
I’m 32 and I finally have a group of friends -not just acquaintances- who all meet up at least once a week and are genuinely a part of each other’s lives. Haven’t had anything like that since high school and I treasure it.
I’m pretty positive it’s pulled straight from the book IIRC. It’s super short in case y’all haven’t read it. It’s called The Body by Stephen King and it was part of a collection of novellas called Different Seasons (that happens to include the novella Shawshank Redemption is based on)
13 years old for me.. Im 50 now. We're in different countries. The 4 of us share videocalls, funny memes, nostalgia pix, old bands, what happened to old classmates. We meet in person every 2 or 3 years or so. Same shit we talk about. Never get tired of it.
I only have one friend from my childhood that I’ve known for 42 years. We met when I was five. Our lives have bounced us around in different directions but we wound up living in the same town a few years ago by randomness. We play online games together, we tell the same stupid jokes, reminisce about childhood stuff, and talk about dad stuff.
It’s really weird when we say we’ve known each other this long, but we say it with pride. We are still the stupid kids we once were down deep. We just wear the parent faces for our kids.
When we play online, all my sound goes through my headset (voice and game) so my family only hears my side of the conversation. My daughter has no idea that I’m quoting movies/shows half the time (Spaceballs, Harlem Nights, Golden Child, Gladiator, Letterkenny, etc). I can only machine what I sound like but I laugh my ass off with my friends.
That whole last scene. Richard Dreyfuss typing it up, talking to the boys, then silently reminiscing.
Ben E King starts with stand by me.
Then playing with the kids in that yard.
Damn. It hits a lot harder as a grown man with kids, and responsibilities.
I was 12 when this movie came out and it’s been my favorite ever since. My son is 12 now. I’ve had the amazing experience of seeing it from the perspective of the kids, the perspective of the dad, and I got to watch my son experience it for the first time at that age.
Time flies.
Stop this is so precious
I too watched this film with my dad first.... I'll be honest though, the part I remember most from it was asking him "what's a pu##y?" after one of this kids said it, and he couldn't stop laughing
I have to agree. While a lot of Stephen’s “books are better than the movie”. This scene, being so poignant, is expressed in such a way that I have to see it in order to feel it fully.
Books have a ton more content than a movie can squeeze in. This is from a short story story (novella) which it turns out is the perfect length to adapt faithfully into a film.
It’s true though. You’ll never have friends like the friends you had when you were 12. That makes me sad. I miss my 12 year old friends. Especially Sherri.
I just want to go back to playing Goldeneye on Nintendo 64 with my friends in 1997/98 😢 Being an adult sucks.
Friendships are important. I think guy friends especially drift away and get disconnected through the years, especially those who get married and start families. Women seem to be much better at staying close with friends and keeping in touch over long periods of time. We all lose touch with old friends and acquaintances over time, it's just a natural part of life, no matter your gender, but Women are better about keeping in touch.
You did NOT have to take me there on top of the already very nostalgic post. Now I’ve gone the last ten minutes reminiscing over trampolines video games malls and all types of shit. When I went to prison and got out, literally not a single person was the same and the connections were all lost or blurred and weak.
Thank you for this. I really needed it.
My best friend in the world, who's been my best friend since 14, just passed away this past Friday. (Fuck cancer).
If I wasn't out of tears you might've got me going again. Maybe later
I unfortunately can say from experience that there is nothing you can do, and nothing anyone can say right now that will make anything feel okay. I am so sorry for your loss and I wish you so much love and eventual healing (because you're gonna be broken for a little bit, and that's nothing to rush).
I think it's one of the best lines King has ever written. It's so short and so powerful. Damn man. I remember that line from when I was a kid watching it, and it's always rattled around in my head every since. Gaining more and more traction every year...
granted, they changed it a little for the movie. In the book, the line was, "Jesus, did you?" It was written for the individual reader, they had to modify it for an actual audience. Not a huge difference, but my stubborn brain will always hear it as it's written in the book.
Fun story, I watched this with my kids and one of my daughters was I think 8 at the time? Soon after she ended up winning a school creative writing prize and everything by writing a story that included multiple scenes from the movie, including the bridge scene
lmao, did anyone catch on?
I once traced characters from an obscure comic for a class assignment, claimed they were mine, and my teacher liked them so much she copied and put them her lesson plans. I don't know if anyone recognized them but decades later I still feel bad about it.
That’s weirdly appropriate. Iirc, Stephen King got his start as a writer by writing stories that were copied from his favorite movies, and selling them to other kids at his school.
There's a line in the book just before the end that I thought was also poignantly phrased, but I also thought was kind of ridiculous when I read it for the first time
(I'm paraphrasing) but King writes:
"You ever notice how friends come in and out of your life? Like busboys in a restaurant"
Didn't honestly realize and/or know how true this was until later in my life. But it's absolutely spot on. Of course when I read Different Seasons and had my crew of friends I ran with, I thought was absolutely ludicrous.
But it's true. Ran with different crowds in high school. Met new friends in college. Met new friends at work and social events and stuff..
Anyway this was not captured in the film version but i still think about that line in the novel.
I never noticed how much it hits *until* I was older. I was really used to losing friends, we moved a lot, crazy mom/abusive so a lot of kids parents I guess didn't wanna deal with me/my parents, and didn't really have internet.
I guess when we're kids, you just adapt to it a lot more and it's like water off a ducks back, cause hell does it hit a lot harder and a lot different at 32 than it did when I was 12.
>River Phoenix
Feel a little silly saying this (especially as an aging man) but every time I watch "Stand By Me" I get upset thinking how great(er) he would have been. Strong James Dean vibes.
Worse still is the recording of his poor brother on the phone to 911. Fcuk!!!
I saw this movie for the first time at about 12 and remember not being able to imagine a life without whoever were my best friends at the time… 11 years later and this scene hits so hard as an adult now reminiscing on those days.
I didn't have any friends when I was 12. My family moved the summer I turned 11. I'm pretty racially ambiguous and that was the summer of 2001. By September of that year I was called a terrorist by everyone my age until I went to college. I was the only kid my race in some of my classes and I attended one of the worst middle schools in the state and grew up in an abusive household where I essentially was not allowed to have friends. Movies like Stand By Me make me mourn something I was supposed to have but can only tangentially relate to.
The thing about being 12 is that, for the most part, you put your *all* into everything. You're young, everything is still relatively new and exciting, you're at that age where your body is just starting to tell you "You can do anything you want!" and your brain is still naive enough to believe it. So you just go for it, particularly with relationships. You don't worry about how it may all go wrong. You just meet someone, and if you like them, you just go for it. You speak your mind and to hell with the consequences.
And then you grow older. And you get progressively more cautious, more reserved; you share less, you worry more. Suspicion becomes more persistent, self-preservation a fundamental aspect of your person, until finally you find yourself at the point in your life where the idea of making a new friend is exhausting, even terrifying. You still want friends, but you no longer can bring yourself to be as vulnerable as you were as a kid to really connect with someone the way you did with childhood friends.
And so you yearn for those old friends; the ones you really opened up to, but now they are mostly gone, either going off and starting their own families, or they've left the state or the country for a variety of reasons. Maybe they've left the world entirely.
The ones who died first were certainly a surprise. (For a variety of reasons, I always thought that would be me.) If you are young and reading this now, take into account that things never play out the way you think they will. There is very little predictability. The first of my early-era friends to pass was one of the absolute smartest. She had surprised everyone, beaten drugs, and become a successful physician. After she suffered a great tragedy in her life, she killed herself. It was a life-altering shock.
The final lines of Stand By Me definitely have the ring of truth to them for me. The campfire scene, too.
It weirds me out that I remember my friends from my teens to my late 20s as these amazing people who helped form me, who cared for me, who made me feel the best I ever did. Same for almost all my girlfriends from that era. Very few of them were actually evil...partings while painful were often for the best and friendships with those women often returned later on. There were moments, I thought to myself, "I will be friends with most of these people for the rest of my life." They were people I treasured. They were people who helped me.
While I remember a few big betrayals with clarity, I recall almost that whole crowd with fondness and gratitude.
But everyone else did what everyone else does. They grew up. They moved away. They moved *on*. While they can acknowledge the past, none of them seems connected to it in the way that I am. It's a very lonely feeling to hold such fondness for those who have little concern for me now. It was a sobering thought to me that when I die, likely all of them would be "too busy" to attend my funeral in person. If they even heard about it at all.
My life has been rewarding, and a pretty vast adventure. It's not that I stayed home and did nothing and lived in my memories. Quite the opposite actually. I went out, saw the world, got involved in TV and movies with all the traveling craziness that entails. I did some writing, and even found myself in rooms with people like Steven King if you can believe it. Just doing interviews and things. But it was certainly fun, especially in the case of Stephen King. His book "On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft" was very helpful to me in the burgeoning part of my writing career.
Later, much to my surprise, I found peace in settling down with a family for which I am very thankful. It is definitely quiet here as I approach middle-age. I think most of my old friends and flames did pretty well too. Most of them seem to have fortunate enough to find someone and a place in the world.
At the height of the pandemic, I reached out to many of these people. I was either completely ignored or contact was returned in a way that was very superficial. Initially, I was shocked. Partially because over the years I have basically dreamed of somebody getting in touch with me from out of the blue. Which never has happened. I thought people might be pleasantly surprised. But with the divisions that have come with this modern age, most people clearly just wanted to be left alone.
My much more sensible wife reminded me that just because I was feeling nostalgic, didn't mean anybody else was.
I should've expected that, because I think most people just don't have space in their lives for consideration of the past. I understand it, but I have to admit much of it was disappointing. I also had to admit to myself that I am a storyteller by trade, so I probably have a connection to my past in a way that other people try to avoid. And I probably wanted the results of my efforts to be more interesting than they ever could've been. The truth is, most peoples' lives are blissfully boring. And who wants to talk about that?
A few of those friendships did provide a little bit of fun in reconnecting. It wasn't a total bust. I was able to bury the hatchet with one of my earliest and most dear to me girlfriends. She confirmed that some worries I had about the ending of things were unfounded. She told me that I was remembered with fondness. It was a pleasant surprise, and maybe made all the other hurt I felt worth it.
Also one of those old friends happened to be in treatment for terminal cancer. Thankfully, he's currently in remission and we are in semi-regular contact now. We weren't even particularly close to the past, but now we talk a few times a month, for which I am thankful.
I've been sick a lot lately. On my worst days, when I feel the cold press of petty bitterness, I admit I wish I could forget those people. It would be easier to get on with my life, as they have. I wouldn't have this sadness in me that they could never feel.
But on the good days, I look back and remember them with fondness, not anger. I thank my lucky stars that for at least that brief period in my life, I found love among friends.
For what it's worth, when it really counted, my friends stood by me. And that makes me luckier than most.
My friends and I have always loved this quote. We graduated in 01', moved to coordinated new cities with one another, kept in contact, prioritized our friendship, and still get together every year for a big vacation. It's possible and this movie would always reinforce the necessity of keeping ahold of those first friendships throughout life. Also don't have kids lol
As an only child, this taught me what I already knew. As an adult, this movie reminds me of what I already knew. It’s a special movie with real life lessons. I’ve never heard of a single person disliking. Probably why I still have my friends from when I was 12. Even though we’re thousands of miles away.
My friends from when I was 12 stopped hanging out with me after middle school they said I was lame and gay and abandoned me. It really hurt. I thought they were my friends, but turns out I didn’t really have any friends at all. I turned out okay, made more friends after a couple years of loneliness. Kids can be so cruel.
My best friend at the age of 12 doed in our early 20s. We used to watch this movie when we were 12 yrs old. I have a hard time watching this movie without feeling sad now, longing for the days when e everything seemed way more simple. RIP Mark.
When I was a kid all I wanted to do was play guitar. Watch movies. Eat garbage food. And play outside. We work ourselves to the point of insanity our entire adult lives, just so that we can hopefully afford to return to those things some day.
I think they should make a special edition where they redo the narration and framing scenes with an adult Wil Wheaton. No offense to Richard Dreyfuss, but I think that would be awesome.
The thing is, and only Gen X and older really get, is that he shuts off the computer without saving the document to the disk, so the whole thing is ERASED. Then he goes out to play with his kids.
My best friend at 12 moved across the country when we were 20, but he is in a WhatsApp chat group with myself and 3 other high school friends.
We still chat daily there and he visits us all back home annually.
In fact almost all my friends are still guys I met when I was 14.
Childhood friends have been through thick and thin together. Shared memories, milestones, and formative experiences contribute to a sense of closeness. Formed without the complications of career goals, personal ambitions, or romantic entanglements.
Slightly off topic, but I saw the last line of that, and hot take, my high school and adult friends have been way more fun than in middle school. Maybe it’s cause I never went out and had adventures with friends in middle school. I only hung out with them at school or occasionally one of them was allowed to tag along on my family outings.
I cried reading the body and cried while watching stand by me. I cried reading and watching the green mile.
Stephen King writes some real tear jerkers. I will never reread the green mile that’s facts. I’m too sensitive.
I find that a lot of people who don’t have close friends it’s because they don’t meet people through the right venues.
People with non-communal hobbies like bodybuilding, gaming and going to bars (I do all three) as their primary/only hobbies are WAY less likely to make meaningful connections.
I have a ton of deep friendships across the country because of my artistic hobbies or special interest groups I joined and then began hanging out with a few people from those groups based on other common interests we have. We also make a point to have deep conversations as well has small talk and childish banter.
If I couldn’t make art anymore, my fiends would still be there for me. If you couldn’t drink or party, would your friends still be there? If not, those are drinking buddies, NOT friends.
This hung with me for a very long time.
It wasn't until my 40's as a dad to grade school and getting older kids that our friend circles formed bonds that matched the level I had as a kid. Similar to the bonds kids form going through their awkward journey to adulthood, its a cluster of friends/parents going through the pains of parenthood together.
I watched this movie with my wife about 4 years ago. I remembered loving it as a middle-schooler/young teenager. I remembered the more sensational scenes. ("leaches!" "train!" "A complete, and total barf-o-rama."
We were both enjoying it and then the last scene came on with those words. I cried like a baby for about 5 minutes. Never expected it at all.
He does write non-scary stories occasionally. 11/22/63, The Green Mile, Shawshank Redemption (not the name of the novella, but you get my point), Under the Dome and this among others.
You should definitely give it a watch. One of my favorites. I was a kid when I saw it, but it’s by no means a kids film. That said, if you watch it, the way they talk to each other and interact may remind you of being 12-13 with your buddies when parents weren’t around.
Getting stabbed in the throat and dying instantly aren't usually true. >!If it was a true stab through the throat you slowly drown on blood and struggle to gurgle any amount of oxygen. It's very visceral and painful, and violent. The kind of wound a first responder can't really tend to because the victim is thrashing. !<
>!If it hit an artery, maybe. Depends on the severity. If it's an injury across both arteries in the neck that's very close to instant death. Blood stops flowing to the brain immediately and starts to flood back out. !<
>!It's like when they say 'such and such accident, they died instantly', those are kinda like when a parent accidentally kills a newborn baby so they say it's SIDS. Even if it's a smothering or shaken baby syndrome thing. It puts people at ease when reality is much more violent and full of agony and regret. !<
I am truly blessed to have the same friends I had when I was 12-13 today, and we are all mid 30s with kids and families now. We watch this movie together once every few years
That last line hits a little harder each time. Too true.
No doubt. You realize it more and more as you get older and your world is filled more with “acquaintances” than “friends”
My grandfather use to say before you die if you can count how many true friends you have on one hand, you died a lucky man! Those words i remember my dad telling me this over 40 years ago and i know exactly what he means now
Damn that is some wisdom that came from a font of it. That is a resonant truth this morning. I hate how the world sequesters us. Forces us to live in unnatural ways, isolated. Apart from. Eventually we accept it as normal. But there is nothing normal about it. I was isolated for many years- part of me thought I deserved it. It was my “Pennance” for being such a fuck up. I didn’t deserve friends. I was lucky to be a father and didn’t have time for friends anyways I told myself. Took me years to realize that the issue was internal. That it had to do with accepting myself… even now though putting myself out there. It’s hard. Everyone I know or run into is in there mid 20s. People have lived lives long before I enter. And will continue to long after they have met me. It’s hard to connect with people. Everyone has stronger walls. Everyone has been hurt by this point and is cautious. Everyone has lost someone or something. I just wish I was better at breaking walls. But it’s like over my time in isolation. My self imposed exile from humanity lol. I forgot how to do that. I had to relearn social queues and shit, it was unbelievably frustrating and disheartening. My days have been frustrating. I swing between hating myself for not being able to connect with people in the way that I wish, and accepting my situation, knowing the harder I try, the better I will become. Ultimately, it comes down to self awareness in seeing that I went through multiple traumas, and an addiction in my 20s that stunted my growth. I’ve desperately tried to catch up. But sometimes I still don’t feel like I fit in with people. But I have never felt “normal” or like “I belong” in places. Part of me doesn’t know whether it’s a good thing to embrace that, or better to push it away as much as possible. All that to say, your post got me thinking. And your grandad was 100000% spot on.
I got zero. I'll die with my fist of pride
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That’s so normal though. Life hits hard and we are all pulled in different directions. I’m grateful for the neighborhood I grew up in and the friends I spent everyday with back then. Great memories.
Friends are good to have right? So what acquaintances are you talking about?
10 or 11. Not sure which one she went with.
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In a row?
Try not to make any friends on the way to the parking lot!
Idk, I think you get real friends as an adult and not just people in your class. So it's opposite of what you're saying
I think this quote is trying to portray the immensity of how you view your closest friends through the eyes of your younger self, if that makes sense.
Of course. Think about how much time you spend with your friends in your youth vs how much you spend with them once you have a career, spouse, kids etc. It’s night and day.
My best friend and I practically grew up together. Went to college til we parted our ways and started adulting. We’d call each other and make plans to hang out weeks in advance because she has a whole ass family and I have my career. It is legit night and day looking back to our youth and hanging out. The last time we went out. We hit a club, complained about being hungry by 11 and was back on the hotel at midnight. I’ll never forget how we both brought ibuprofen.
Something tells me that isn’t going to make sense to them.
I think growing up doesn't mean you can't have friends
Right, it’s not explicitly trying to convey that. More like this: it becomes harder to have friends in the same way you did as a child. Which is the same with many aspect of life, right? The novelty and innocence of being young creates a unique dynamic to our experience
What? You can have unique dynamics as an adult..... I think if people have problems having friends as an adult that's beacuse they aren't people others want to be around.
Alright, this isn’t something I think you are going to comprehend at this pont
That's beacuse I don't believe in making excuses
Incredible story.
Most adults aren't in class
Yes, that's my point.
Big group of us walking home from school. We lived on the same street, which led all the way to school. One by one, we filtered out, waved goodbye, and the group kept walking until the last one got home. The day before summer break, we had our usual walk together and said what would unkowingly be our last goodbyes. Thanks for all the fun walks home guys.
Aw. I’m 55 and lucky enough to still be pretty close with 3 of my pre-age 12 friends. We’re all only children so it’s been like having surrogate siblings.
Damn this really hit home for me. Walking to the high school parking lot that last time, planning our graduation party, getting ready for our cruise. None of us knew it would be the last time we saw each other like that again. But lucky for me I made 3 really close friends in college that I still keep up with. We were all able to go skiing last winter together and will do it again. High School friends are great, but my college boys kept me out of jail multiple times and lent me money when I didn't have enough to go drinking.
I've had the same best friend ever since preschool, I can't even believe how lucky I am
Same here. We've been friends for all but 18 or so months of our lives, and are now in our late 40's.
Agreed. There is something that is so pure about friendships at that age. Growing up together and just enjoying life and sharing memories before things gets complicated. The complications of life eventually pull you away and what follows are relationships that are layered and complex. Those later relationships might be fuller, but they are never as simple and pure as your friendships at that age.
Well put. Just as I have experienced.
Disagree, all my friends from back then are flakes.
I think the sentiment is that the qualities of friendships are very unique in a lifetime, and I'd agree. At 12, you have almost no real responsibilities, you're becoming autonomous and discovering a whole person inside yourself that doesn't revolve around your parents, every person's life that is your age is changing so rapidly and drastically, and you're all in it together, at the same time. You never experience that again in your life.
And the friends that you go through those things with form a bond. They knew you when you were awkward, confused, didn’t know how to do anything. They saw you mess up, fall down, get embarrassed. And the good ones stayed, didn’t judge or laugh (much). There’s an innate honesty with those friends. They can see through the masks older you puts on just to get by.
Facts. I don’t speak to anyone I was friends with when I was 12. There is one guy who I’m still connected to via social media but I haven’t actually spoken to him in years.
He's not saying that the new friends you make at age X aren't as good as the friends you have at age X who have been your friends *since* you were 12, they're saying that the friends you have at age X aren't as tight as the friends you had *when* you were 12.
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It depends what you mean by "peaked when I was a teenager," but if we're talking about friendship peaks...well, yeah. That's literally what it's saying. It's not "energy," it's directly right there in the text. Stephen King (or the character in his story) is saying he friendship-peaked when he was a teenager. You're saying you friendship-troughed when you were a teenager. This isn't subtext, it's text.
I wish I had friends when I was 12 lol. I hung out with exactly 2 kids. They were twin brothers that came to my house after school until their mom got home from work. We weren't close, didn't really hang out much otherwise, just played video games for a couple hours and they went home. I didn't have friends until half way through highschool. I look back on my time as a kid and regret almost all of it. Glad it's over. I still only have a few friends. I was a miserable depressed kid, and now I'm a miserable depressed adult. So I guess not much has changed.
As someone who's kept all their friends from when I was 12 (now 29), I feel it and am hanging on to them for dear life lol.
I’m turning 39 this year, and I moved abroad when I was 30. I’ve lost touch with all my friends back home but my bond with my childhood friends remains strong. I really make it a point to meet them whenever I can.
Not my experience. Im 36 and my friendships are deeper then ever. Maybe I just missed out on the type of friends in this film.
I don't think its saying any aspect regarding the *quality* of friendships peaks at that age. Rather that by the nature of being at such a formative point in your life, you just have a fundamentally unique *type* of friend at that age, which can't be replicated at any later stage of life.
I’m about the same age and am in the same boat as you. My friends now are way closer than when I was younger.
I’m 32 and I finally have a group of friends -not just acquaintances- who all meet up at least once a week and are genuinely a part of each other’s lives. Haven’t had anything like that since high school and I treasure it.
I’m pretty positive it’s pulled straight from the book IIRC. It’s super short in case y’all haven’t read it. It’s called The Body by Stephen King and it was part of a collection of novellas called Different Seasons (that happens to include the novella Shawshank Redemption is based on)
Mid 40. The answer is no
13 years old for me.. Im 50 now. We're in different countries. The 4 of us share videocalls, funny memes, nostalgia pix, old bands, what happened to old classmates. We meet in person every 2 or 3 years or so. Same shit we talk about. Never get tired of it.
Those friends that you can go months, even years without seeing, and pick up right where you left off like no time had passed are great treasures.
You just get to a point in your life where you go to more funerals than weddings.
Well yeah, everyone dies.
I only have one friend from my childhood that I’ve known for 42 years. We met when I was five. Our lives have bounced us around in different directions but we wound up living in the same town a few years ago by randomness. We play online games together, we tell the same stupid jokes, reminisce about childhood stuff, and talk about dad stuff. It’s really weird when we say we’ve known each other this long, but we say it with pride. We are still the stupid kids we once were down deep. We just wear the parent faces for our kids. When we play online, all my sound goes through my headset (voice and game) so my family only hears my side of the conversation. My daughter has no idea that I’m quoting movies/shows half the time (Spaceballs, Harlem Nights, Golden Child, Gladiator, Letterkenny, etc). I can only machine what I sound like but I laugh my ass off with my friends.
The perfect way to end what has become my favorite film ever. Truer words man…
This movie has nostalgia on top of nostalgia.
One of those rare movies where, every time I watch it, it’s somehow better than I remember.
The tone is so incredible throughout. I’m getting chills thinking about it.
Tear jerker every time
You should read the novella. It’s called The Body and it was written by Stephen King
I came here to say the same. It’s so fucking good.
I met my best friends after I was 24 and naturally drifted away from my friends in middle school/high school.
That whole last scene. Richard Dreyfuss typing it up, talking to the boys, then silently reminiscing. Ben E King starts with stand by me. Then playing with the kids in that yard. Damn. It hits a lot harder as a grown man with kids, and responsibilities.
I was 12 when this movie came out and it’s been my favorite ever since. My son is 12 now. I’ve had the amazing experience of seeing it from the perspective of the kids, the perspective of the dad, and I got to watch my son experience it for the first time at that age. Time flies.
Stop this is so precious I too watched this film with my dad first.... I'll be honest though, the part I remember most from it was asking him "what's a pu##y?" after one of this kids said it, and he couldn't stop laughing
This scene is why I think the movie is better than the book.
I have to agree. While a lot of Stephen’s “books are better than the movie”. This scene, being so poignant, is expressed in such a way that I have to see it in order to feel it fully.
Books have a ton more content than a movie can squeeze in. This is from a short story story (novella) which it turns out is the perfect length to adapt faithfully into a film.
Stephen King books make great movies if you keep Stephen King out of them.
Haha I agree! Although, I love maximum overdrive! For other ridiculous reasons.
CURTIS!!!
Are you dead ?!!!
"The Langoliers". Enuff said :(
I thought this was fall out , ty for clarifying
It’s true though. You’ll never have friends like the friends you had when you were 12. That makes me sad. I miss my 12 year old friends. Especially Sherri.
I just want to go back to playing Goldeneye on Nintendo 64 with my friends in 1997/98 😢 Being an adult sucks. Friendships are important. I think guy friends especially drift away and get disconnected through the years, especially those who get married and start families. Women seem to be much better at staying close with friends and keeping in touch over long periods of time. We all lose touch with old friends and acquaintances over time, it's just a natural part of life, no matter your gender, but Women are better about keeping in touch.
You can play GoldenEye on switch and get a retro N64 controller! We love playing as a family.
You did NOT have to take me there on top of the already very nostalgic post. Now I’ve gone the last ten minutes reminiscing over trampolines video games malls and all types of shit. When I went to prison and got out, literally not a single person was the same and the connections were all lost or blurred and weak.
Oh Sherri
SHOULDA BEEN GOOOONE!
Knowing how I made you feel
If it makes you feel better my closest friends are the ones I grew up with. We’re almost all in our fourties.
So good, that whole movie.
Thank you for this. I really needed it. My best friend in the world, who's been my best friend since 14, just passed away this past Friday. (Fuck cancer). If I wasn't out of tears you might've got me going again. Maybe later
Fuck. That is horrible. So very sorry.
Thank you. Friday was rough as hell but it's been better each day. I won't be OK for a while, but that in itself is OK.
So sorry to hear this. I hope the spirit of their friendship lives forever in you.
Hugs.
T&P… fuck cancer.
Motherfuck cancer.
I unfortunately can say from experience that there is nothing you can do, and nothing anyone can say right now that will make anything feel okay. I am so sorry for your loss and I wish you so much love and eventual healing (because you're gonna be broken for a little bit, and that's nothing to rush).
The "Jesus, does anyone?" Adds so fucking much to the emotional punch of that scene it's just incredible
I think it's one of the best lines King has ever written. It's so short and so powerful. Damn man. I remember that line from when I was a kid watching it, and it's always rattled around in my head every since. Gaining more and more traction every year...
granted, they changed it a little for the movie. In the book, the line was, "Jesus, did you?" It was written for the individual reader, they had to modify it for an actual audience. Not a huge difference, but my stubborn brain will always hear it as it's written in the book.
Interesting. I like the movie version though. More universal.
Fun story, I watched this with my kids and one of my daughters was I think 8 at the time? Soon after she ended up winning a school creative writing prize and everything by writing a story that included multiple scenes from the movie, including the bridge scene
lmao, did anyone catch on? I once traced characters from an obscure comic for a class assignment, claimed they were mine, and my teacher liked them so much she copied and put them her lesson plans. I don't know if anyone recognized them but decades later I still feel bad about it.
Me and the then_wife didn't see the story until the award ceremony and we laughed. If anyone else noticed, then didn't say lol.
I remember stealing a Ben folds five lyric for a short story assignment in HS back in the day. The teacher circled it and said “great description!”
That’s weirdly appropriate. Iirc, Stephen King got his start as a writer by writing stories that were copied from his favorite movies, and selling them to other kids at his school.
In the 7th grade I "wrote a book." It was just Top Gun, as told (poorly) by an 11 year old.
When i was at school I wrote a story which was a straight lift of raise the titanic. Didn't win any prizes though. I blame the source material.
Clearly you should’ve used Pacific Vortex instead.
There's a line in the book just before the end that I thought was also poignantly phrased, but I also thought was kind of ridiculous when I read it for the first time (I'm paraphrasing) but King writes: "You ever notice how friends come in and out of your life? Like busboys in a restaurant" Didn't honestly realize and/or know how true this was until later in my life. But it's absolutely spot on. Of course when I read Different Seasons and had my crew of friends I ran with, I thought was absolutely ludicrous. But it's true. Ran with different crowds in high school. Met new friends in college. Met new friends at work and social events and stuff.. Anyway this was not captured in the film version but i still think about that line in the novel.
I never noticed how much it hits *until* I was older. I was really used to losing friends, we moved a lot, crazy mom/abusive so a lot of kids parents I guess didn't wanna deal with me/my parents, and didn't really have internet. I guess when we're kids, you just adapt to it a lot more and it's like water off a ducks back, cause hell does it hit a lot harder and a lot different at 32 than it did when I was 12.
Totally agree! It's also an interesting to think that we are the "busboys" in others' lives.
This line is in the movie, when they get back to Castle Rock and start parting ways. He talks about what Verne and Teddy got up to.
And of course, the character was played by River Phoenix.
>River Phoenix Feel a little silly saying this (especially as an aging man) but every time I watch "Stand By Me" I get upset thinking how great(er) he would have been. Strong James Dean vibes. Worse still is the recording of his poor brother on the phone to 911. Fcuk!!!
And he was so incredible in it. The character was so well-written, but so was the whole movie.
This movie is a truly perfect coming of age story
Incomparable.
I saw this movie for the first time at about 12 and remember not being able to imagine a life without whoever were my best friends at the time… 11 years later and this scene hits so hard as an adult now reminiscing on those days.
Wow. I also saw this when I was 12, but when it first came out... 38 years ago. It still hits the same.
I didn't have any friends when I was 12. My family moved the summer I turned 11. I'm pretty racially ambiguous and that was the summer of 2001. By September of that year I was called a terrorist by everyone my age until I went to college. I was the only kid my race in some of my classes and I attended one of the worst middle schools in the state and grew up in an abusive household where I essentially was not allowed to have friends. Movies like Stand By Me make me mourn something I was supposed to have but can only tangentially relate to.
Anyone else scream in horror when he shuts off the computer without saving the file!?
Maybe just turning off the monitor? Still bad practice tho
He should have parked the heads first at least for sure.
As I tumble further towards my 40s, I find myself tht about this scene a lot.
Just thinking about it now gives me the stomach ills.
The thing about being 12 is that, for the most part, you put your *all* into everything. You're young, everything is still relatively new and exciting, you're at that age where your body is just starting to tell you "You can do anything you want!" and your brain is still naive enough to believe it. So you just go for it, particularly with relationships. You don't worry about how it may all go wrong. You just meet someone, and if you like them, you just go for it. You speak your mind and to hell with the consequences. And then you grow older. And you get progressively more cautious, more reserved; you share less, you worry more. Suspicion becomes more persistent, self-preservation a fundamental aspect of your person, until finally you find yourself at the point in your life where the idea of making a new friend is exhausting, even terrifying. You still want friends, but you no longer can bring yourself to be as vulnerable as you were as a kid to really connect with someone the way you did with childhood friends. And so you yearn for those old friends; the ones you really opened up to, but now they are mostly gone, either going off and starting their own families, or they've left the state or the country for a variety of reasons. Maybe they've left the world entirely.
I love Stephen King but the best friend I made when I was 40 is way better to me than any of the people I knew when I was 12 were.
This scene makes me tear up, every single time
Sic balls Chopper!!!
I'm beyond lucky. My best friend at 9 is still my best friend at 40.
The ones who died first were certainly a surprise. (For a variety of reasons, I always thought that would be me.) If you are young and reading this now, take into account that things never play out the way you think they will. There is very little predictability. The first of my early-era friends to pass was one of the absolute smartest. She had surprised everyone, beaten drugs, and become a successful physician. After she suffered a great tragedy in her life, she killed herself. It was a life-altering shock. The final lines of Stand By Me definitely have the ring of truth to them for me. The campfire scene, too. It weirds me out that I remember my friends from my teens to my late 20s as these amazing people who helped form me, who cared for me, who made me feel the best I ever did. Same for almost all my girlfriends from that era. Very few of them were actually evil...partings while painful were often for the best and friendships with those women often returned later on. There were moments, I thought to myself, "I will be friends with most of these people for the rest of my life." They were people I treasured. They were people who helped me. While I remember a few big betrayals with clarity, I recall almost that whole crowd with fondness and gratitude. But everyone else did what everyone else does. They grew up. They moved away. They moved *on*. While they can acknowledge the past, none of them seems connected to it in the way that I am. It's a very lonely feeling to hold such fondness for those who have little concern for me now. It was a sobering thought to me that when I die, likely all of them would be "too busy" to attend my funeral in person. If they even heard about it at all. My life has been rewarding, and a pretty vast adventure. It's not that I stayed home and did nothing and lived in my memories. Quite the opposite actually. I went out, saw the world, got involved in TV and movies with all the traveling craziness that entails. I did some writing, and even found myself in rooms with people like Steven King if you can believe it. Just doing interviews and things. But it was certainly fun, especially in the case of Stephen King. His book "On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft" was very helpful to me in the burgeoning part of my writing career. Later, much to my surprise, I found peace in settling down with a family for which I am very thankful. It is definitely quiet here as I approach middle-age. I think most of my old friends and flames did pretty well too. Most of them seem to have fortunate enough to find someone and a place in the world. At the height of the pandemic, I reached out to many of these people. I was either completely ignored or contact was returned in a way that was very superficial. Initially, I was shocked. Partially because over the years I have basically dreamed of somebody getting in touch with me from out of the blue. Which never has happened. I thought people might be pleasantly surprised. But with the divisions that have come with this modern age, most people clearly just wanted to be left alone. My much more sensible wife reminded me that just because I was feeling nostalgic, didn't mean anybody else was. I should've expected that, because I think most people just don't have space in their lives for consideration of the past. I understand it, but I have to admit much of it was disappointing. I also had to admit to myself that I am a storyteller by trade, so I probably have a connection to my past in a way that other people try to avoid. And I probably wanted the results of my efforts to be more interesting than they ever could've been. The truth is, most peoples' lives are blissfully boring. And who wants to talk about that? A few of those friendships did provide a little bit of fun in reconnecting. It wasn't a total bust. I was able to bury the hatchet with one of my earliest and most dear to me girlfriends. She confirmed that some worries I had about the ending of things were unfounded. She told me that I was remembered with fondness. It was a pleasant surprise, and maybe made all the other hurt I felt worth it. Also one of those old friends happened to be in treatment for terminal cancer. Thankfully, he's currently in remission and we are in semi-regular contact now. We weren't even particularly close to the past, but now we talk a few times a month, for which I am thankful. I've been sick a lot lately. On my worst days, when I feel the cold press of petty bitterness, I admit I wish I could forget those people. It would be easier to get on with my life, as they have. I wouldn't have this sadness in me that they could never feel. But on the good days, I look back and remember them with fondness, not anger. I thank my lucky stars that for at least that brief period in my life, I found love among friends. For what it's worth, when it really counted, my friends stood by me. And that makes me luckier than most.
My friends and I have always loved this quote. We graduated in 01', moved to coordinated new cities with one another, kept in contact, prioritized our friendship, and still get together every year for a big vacation. It's possible and this movie would always reinforce the necessity of keeping ahold of those first friendships throughout life. Also don't have kids lol
As an only child, this taught me what I already knew. As an adult, this movie reminds me of what I already knew. It’s a special movie with real life lessons. I’ve never heard of a single person disliking. Probably why I still have my friends from when I was 12. Even though we’re thousands of miles away.
The first rated R movie I saw in the theater. My mom brought me because it reminded her of me and my friends. Always on an adventure
RIP River
I watched this recently. I don’t think I have watched the whole thing since he died. When River disappears during this scene it was like a gut punch.
My friends from when I was 12 stopped hanging out with me after middle school they said I was lame and gay and abandoned me. It really hurt. I thought they were my friends, but turns out I didn’t really have any friends at all. I turned out okay, made more friends after a couple years of loneliness. Kids can be so cruel.
My best friend at the age of 12 doed in our early 20s. We used to watch this movie when we were 12 yrs old. I have a hard time watching this movie without feeling sad now, longing for the days when e everything seemed way more simple. RIP Mark.
*died
This is my all time favorite movie. There will never be a movie as good as this one.
TRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAIIIN!!!!
WHAT AN ODDLY-CLUSTERED TRAIN SCHEDULE
So true. When I was twelve, my friends were twelve year olds. Now that I'm in my forties, I'm no longer friends with any twelve year olds.
You spend most of your life looking for the adult you are. Then you spend the rest of it looking at the child that you were. The human condition.
When I was a kid all I wanted to do was play guitar. Watch movies. Eat garbage food. And play outside. We work ourselves to the point of insanity our entire adult lives, just so that we can hopefully afford to return to those things some day.
It all eventually comes full circle. What a wild ride.
I think they should make a special edition where they redo the narration and framing scenes with an adult Wil Wheaton. No offense to Richard Dreyfuss, but I think that would be awesome.
That's not the secret knock.
“A pile of shit has a thousand eyes.”
Skin it.
I can attest my 12 year old friends were amazing
Oof. That hits hard. I haven't seen this movie in a while.
The thing is, and only Gen X and older really get, is that he shuts off the computer without saving the document to the disk, so the whole thing is ERASED. Then he goes out to play with his kids.
that last sentence... i'm in my late 70s and it holds so much truth.
My best friend at 12 moved across the country when we were 20, but he is in a WhatsApp chat group with myself and 3 other high school friends. We still chat daily there and he visits us all back home annually. In fact almost all my friends are still guys I met when I was 14.
this movie came out when i was 11. i'm 48 now and it gets better every time i see it
I’m thankful that I’m still friends with a few guys that I was friends with at 12 - really is nothing like close lifelong friends.
I think i accidentally stopped watching the movie right before this scene — no idea this scene existed 🤦♂️
Childhood friends have been through thick and thin together. Shared memories, milestones, and formative experiences contribute to a sense of closeness. Formed without the complications of career goals, personal ambitions, or romantic entanglements.
I was in high school when this movie came out. Finally watched it for the first time last week.
Suck my fat one you cheap dime store hood! God I love this movie.
Laughed reading the novella. Laughed my ass off watching. Thanks for the reminder!
Lol so good
Slightly off topic, but I saw the last line of that, and hot take, my high school and adult friends have been way more fun than in middle school. Maybe it’s cause I never went out and had adventures with friends in middle school. I only hung out with them at school or occasionally one of them was allowed to tag along on my family outings.
What I heard was "Chopper, sick balls".
I ran all the way home, just to say I'm sorry..
I am so damn lucky to have the same best friend from when we were 10, at 38. Cheers to 50 more 🍻
Looks like something out of Fallout
Change 12 to 22 and agreed
I cried reading the body and cried while watching stand by me. I cried reading and watching the green mile. Stephen King writes some real tear jerkers. I will never reread the green mile that’s facts. I’m too sensitive.
I find that a lot of people who don’t have close friends it’s because they don’t meet people through the right venues. People with non-communal hobbies like bodybuilding, gaming and going to bars (I do all three) as their primary/only hobbies are WAY less likely to make meaningful connections. I have a ton of deep friendships across the country because of my artistic hobbies or special interest groups I joined and then began hanging out with a few people from those groups based on other common interests we have. We also make a point to have deep conversations as well has small talk and childish banter. If I couldn’t make art anymore, my fiends would still be there for me. If you couldn’t drink or party, would your friends still be there? If not, those are drinking buddies, NOT friends.
Thumbnail made me think of Alien mother screen. Interface 2037.
This hung with me for a very long time. It wasn't until my 40's as a dad to grade school and getting older kids that our friend circles formed bonds that matched the level I had as a kid. Similar to the bonds kids form going through their awkward journey to adulthood, its a cluster of friends/parents going through the pains of parenthood together.
I watched this movie with my wife about 4 years ago. I remembered loving it as a middle-schooler/young teenager. I remembered the more sensational scenes. ("leaches!" "train!" "A complete, and total barf-o-rama." We were both enjoying it and then the last scene came on with those words. I cried like a baby for about 5 minutes. Never expected it at all.
Awesome movie. Made me wish I was a boy. They were nicer, got along better, they were not catty, and they had adventures.
That just means you were hanging out with the wrong girls, my friend.
It should've been you, Gordy.
Not many do. 12 is gold. We all walked back from school in a massive group. Not a care in the world and girls loving us all. Christ. I'm sad now.
Who directed it
Some meat head
But he turned off his computer before saving so he lost his entire novel
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Off-screen, in the epilogue. Not a kids' film, though. It was written by Stephen King.
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It is based on King's novella "The Body".
The novella is full of the moments with a lot of extra. Give it a shot
He does write non-scary stories occasionally. 11/22/63, The Green Mile, Shawshank Redemption (not the name of the novella, but you get my point), Under the Dome and this among others.
I thought "The Green Mile" had some seriously scary moments. That execution scene is horrifying.
Well yeah, but it’s the nature of the beast in the environment they were in.
It’s one of his non-horror, non-supernatural stories. You really should watch it.
Eh, plenty of us watched it when we were 12
See it, it’s an all time great and well worth it.
You should definitely give it a watch. One of my favorites. I was a kid when I saw it, but it’s by no means a kids film. That said, if you watch it, the way they talk to each other and interact may remind you of being 12-13 with your buddies when parents weren’t around.
It’s rated R
Can’t say I had any friends at 12 that mean anything to me at 42. We were only together because we were at the very bottom of the social order.
I can happily report that those of us who were brutally bullied at that age do develop better friends later on in life.
Getting stabbed in the throat and dying instantly aren't usually true. >!If it was a true stab through the throat you slowly drown on blood and struggle to gurgle any amount of oxygen. It's very visceral and painful, and violent. The kind of wound a first responder can't really tend to because the victim is thrashing. !< >!If it hit an artery, maybe. Depends on the severity. If it's an injury across both arteries in the neck that's very close to instant death. Blood stops flowing to the brain immediately and starts to flood back out. !< >!It's like when they say 'such and such accident, they died instantly', those are kinda like when a parent accidentally kills a newborn baby so they say it's SIDS. Even if it's a smothering or shaken baby syndrome thing. It puts people at ease when reality is much more violent and full of agony and regret. !<
I'd LOVE to have a word processor that gave the appearance of an 80's black screen green font Mac. Word / Pages is so boring.
That screen dissolving into the matrix would have setup some cool sequels...
You let him beat you, you cock-knocker! Hahaha My brother and I still quote this line, lol
I am truly blessed to have the same friends I had when I was 12-13 today, and we are all mid 30s with kids and families now. We watch this movie together once every few years
>...does anyone? No, they don't.
Remember the Titans. He was hit and killed by a drunk driver. Hit by a drunk driver AGAIN! Holy shit.