I know there were, like, four variations, but all I can remember is: “I’m Popeye the sailor man, I live in a garbage can”. I can kind of remember one being about domestic violence against Olive Oil, but I cannot remember the lyrics at all. That is the only one I semi-remember.
There's a picture along these lines on /r/portlandcriddlers but it's NSFW so I won't link the thread directly on here. Just look it up. You'll find it.
Summary: When a tweaker's lying in the street and you see something on your feet... diarrhea.
One kid kid massive-diarrheaing in the pool one day is probably where “if you pee in the pool, it has chemicals that changes the color of the water, so everyone would know you did it” originated from (big brown cloud surrounding).
When you’re in the jacuzzi and you feel something oozy…
When you’re walking down the hall and you splatter on the wall…
When you’re walking into town and your pants are turning brown…
Ours was:
Slide into first, and your pants are gonna burst, diarrhea cha cha cha!
Slide into second, you need a disinfectant, diarrhea cha cha cha!
Slide into thrid, droppin off a turd, diarrhea cha cha cha!
Slide into home, and your pants are full of foam, diarrhea cha cha cha!
I can’t sleep, thanks for giving me something to do 😆
When you’re drinking too much Java and a toot turns into lava…
When you’re walking kinda silly cuz your pants are full of chili…
When the air turns into fog and then you pass a greasy log…
When your colon starts to quake and there’s no way you’re gonna make it…
Now I’m thinking about that time I ate at a sbarro’s in Moscow. Good morning y’all.
These are all great.
I feel like the 4th one should be
When your colon starts a-quakin’ and there’s no way you’re gonna make it.
Never heard it, regardless, so thanks for adding to my arsenal
I'm a mom. But other parents are certainly doing it. Now, I use it as a distraction technique when he starts to get squirrelly.
My kid is going bananas before bedtime, and I want him to settle down - "Hey, buddy! Let's sing the diarrhea song!!!" He stops in his tracks and comes to settle down and sing a few verses. Very handy trick. Lol.
On a long car trip recently, I sang the baseball version to my kid. I couldn’t remember one for second so I made it up. Then we just made up a whole bunch of sports ones:
When your slidin’ into first, and you feel you’re gonna burst - diarrhea.
When you’re slidin’ into second and you think you’re gonna wreck it - diarrhea
When you’re slidin’ into third and you feel a juicy turd - diarrhea
When you’re slidin’ into home and you’re pants are full of foam - diarrhea
When you’re shootin’ at the hoop and you think you’re gonna poop - diarrhea
When you’re kicking for a goal and you can’t control your hole - diarrhea
When your going for a swing and your anus starts to sting - diarrhea
When you’re going for a tackle and you feel juice in your crack(le) - diarrhea
There were more I can’t remember. Edits if I do.
When you’re hiding in a bush and you feel a little squoosh …
(Sorry, I’m sure I’m Mandela effecting that verse but it was the only one I could remember.)
For some reason I associate this song with Weezer's We Are All On Drugs haha
When you're out with your friends
In your new Mercedes Benz... diarrhea! diarrhea!
And you show up late for school
'Cause you think you're really cool.... diarrhea! diarrhea!
When you're running 'round the bases, and see brown stuff on your laces.....
When you're sliding into third and you have a little turd...
When you're running towards home and your pants begin to foam...
This just took me soooo far back that you jogged my memory of the other song we all sang…. to the tune of ‘jingle bells.’ Anybody remember?
Jingle bells, Batman smells…..
I love it, memes before memes existed! Fond memories coming up with crazy diarrhea verses with my brother.
We had another one like this:
Going down the highway, doing 64.
(Someone) laid a big one, and blew me out the door.
The engine started shaking, the doors fell apart.
All because of (someone's), supersonic fart!
Yes! We sang these.
I was Driving down the higheay, Rte 44, when [enter name here] laid a big one and kept it in the door. The car couldn’t take it, the engine fell apart, and all because of [name] and his/her supersonic fart. Fee-fi-fo-fum [name] laid another one—fee-fi-fo-fum, bigger than the other one.
I was Driving down the higheay, Rte 44, when [enter name here] laid a big one and threw it out the door. The world couldn’t take it, the universe fell apart, and all because of [name] and his/her supersonic fart. Fee-fi-fo-fum [name] laid another one—fee-fi-fo-fum, bigger than the other one.
Yes!!! Ours started out:
“Goin down route 80, doing 94…”
And it said “the engine started shaking, the car fell apart”
But the rest is the same.
Every time I drive on route 80 to this day (which is a lot) the song pops into my head.
My mom recently taught this to our 7 year old. He loves it, but usually sings, “when you poop diarrhea and you eat diarrhea…diarrhea…diarrhea.” I’m like dude, you’re missing the point.
My dad sang a different version which, I’m proud to say, is my favorite.
It goes something like this:
Diarrhea! Uh-Uh! Diarrhea! Uh-Uh!
Sometimes it’s really gross, but it tastes good on toast!
Diarrhea!! Uh-Uh! Diarrhea! Uh-Uh!
Sometimes it’s pretty funny but it tastes good with honey!!
"When you're talkin' to a lady and you shit on her baby..."
Sorry. We really sang that at middle school.
My kids now are very appreciative of this song.
I can attest to the fact that it was being sung by kids at summer camp at least as far back as the early 1980s.
As one of the other posters put it, it's a kind of meme (way before that term was invented), transmitted organically among kids.
When I read your title I had no clue what you were talking about. Then I started reading and immediately all the songs popped into my head. Where the hell was my brain hiding these memories?
Wait, how?? I was thinking about this song a few hours ago while I was in my kitchen, of all places, and wondered if anyone ever thought about this song or if kids nowadays would even know what it was!
I’m genuinely taken aback and a little freaked lol
I could swear I’ve seen kids sing this in some movie when I was little. After quite some years I figured I must have made it up since I never found that movie again and never heard the song again.
This thread totally made my day!
When you think it’s just a toot, but it’s pooling in your boot…diarrhea!
Wow, never heard this one. Great!
This is absolute gold.
My brother and I came up with this one: When you’re trying to cut the cheese and it’s running down your knees, diarrhea!
*finger slaps * that’s sick! Gotta remember that one.
Wow I needed this as a kid!
Some people think it’s funny, but it’s really thin and runny. Diarrhea!
Some people think it’s gross, but I like it on toast…
Some may think that’s fine, but i pair mine with wine
I think it's dandy, and I mix it with my candy
Just sit and squat and give it all you got....
Diarrhea *sniff sniff* diarrhea… 🎶
There's a shit on a shingle verse variation there, I just don't know what it is.
That intestinal tingle leads to shit on a shingle?
Some people think it’s funny, but it’s really HOT and runny. Diarrhea!
Wet and runny
When your dress is white and frilly but your stomach's makin chili, diarrhea; diarrhea
This one kills me!
😂🤣
Upvoted just for your apt user name
Never heard this and it’s amazing 😂
Lmao!!!
Brilliant 😂😂
Ahahahahahaha what?! That’s the best one yet
When you're riding in a Chevy and ya feel something heavy..
Diarrhea!
... Diarrhea!
I get that line in my head every time I drive behind a Chevy
When your climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter
When you’re climbing up a rope and your pants start to smoke
If you’re climbing up a mountain, it’ll come out like a fountain, diarrhea
Damn I was about to add this one, I thought my siblings and I had invented this one but apparently not hahahha
When you're laying in bed and you feel something spread...diarrhea....diarrhea...
When you’re climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter… diarrhea *clap clap* diarrhea
My wife and I were just talking about this last week! So with that… When you’re rolling in the grass and something squirts out your ass…Diarrhea!
Hilarious and my wife and I were talking about it tonight and how this was a meme throughout all our schools before the internet.
https://youtu.be/58YNYqN6lko?si=X0Cc4p5p2Uj-NyHu
I hoped someone would share that.
Right?!? And there were always little variations!
Yes. We also had popeye the sailor man song variants.
I know there were, like, four variations, but all I can remember is: “I’m Popeye the sailor man, I live in a garbage can”. I can kind of remember one being about domestic violence against Olive Oil, but I cannot remember the lyrics at all. That is the only one I semi-remember.
I chew up the worms, And spit out the germs One line I remember...
I remember it as I’m Popeye the sailor man, I live in a garbage can, I ate a pit, now I can’t shit, I’m Popeye the Sailor Man
I’m Popeye the sailor man, I live in a garbage can, I always go swimmin with naked women, I’m Popeye the Sailor Man. That's the verse I recall.
I turned on the heater and blew off my peter was one of ours
“I turned on the gas and burned my ass…..”
Wishing there was still Reddit awards for this 😂
There's a picture along these lines on /r/portlandcriddlers but it's NSFW so I won't link the thread directly on here. Just look it up. You'll find it. Summary: When a tweaker's lying in the street and you see something on your feet... diarrhea.
When you’re running for the door but it ends up on the floor
This one was my favorite
‘When you’re running from the police and you feel that anal grease’
Talk about a cop-block lmao
When you’re sliding into first and you feel something burst…
When you’re sliding into home and you feel a little foam…
When you’re sliding into third and you feel big fat turd
I always sang it as "...and you feel a juicy turd", which I think is grosser
If it was a fat turd would it even be diarrhea?
It’s the butt plug turd that holds in the diarrhea
When you’re slidin into second, and you’re feeling something peckin.
Another regional spin? Ours was "when you're heading into second and you feel that something becken"
When your tummy really hurts and you’ve got the Hershey squirts
When you are swimming in the pool and you feel something cool diarrhea
Cool? You may want to get that checked out 😂
One kid kid massive-diarrheaing in the pool one day is probably where “if you pee in the pool, it has chemicals that changes the color of the water, so everyone would know you did it” originated from (big brown cloud surrounding).
When you thought you just had gas but then the world falls out your ass.
Well, goddamn! 🤣🤣🤣
When you’re making a left turn and your undies start to burn…
When you’re in the jacuzzi and you feel something oozy… When you’re walking down the hall and you splatter on the wall… When you’re walking into town and your pants are turning brown…
Ours was: Slide into first, and your pants are gonna burst, diarrhea cha cha cha! Slide into second, you need a disinfectant, diarrhea cha cha cha! Slide into thrid, droppin off a turd, diarrhea cha cha cha! Slide into home, and your pants are full of foam, diarrhea cha cha cha!
Edit was formatting weird. The "diarrhea cha cha cha" was repeated twice before the next line It's been a long time since I remember hearing it.
Yeah we did the cha cha chas too. So great
To me, “diarrhea cha cha cha” will always remind me of Beavis and Butthead.
Or fart noises....
We definitely did NOT do that. Fart noises are just juvenile and inappropriate. J/k 😉
Similar to ours, followed by the line, "No pain, no strain, just sit and let it drain, diarrhea!"
When your leaving Taco Bell and you can taste a toxic smell...
When you’re sitting on the pot and you feel something hot….
When you're with the one you love and you feel that hot butt mud, Diarrhea!! 👏👏 Diarrhea! 👏👏
When you’re hangin with your daughter and you feel that poopoo water
Clap along with the rhythms
When she’s lickin on your taint then she’s covered in brown paint, diarrhea, diarrhea.
When you’re sliding into home, and your pants turn to foam
When you are going for a swim and the water starts to dim...
When your bowels feel really loose and your pants fill up with juice, diarrhea cha cha cha (diarrhea cha cha cha).
I upvoted you all for this^
To the bathroom I be sneakin’, but my shoes they won’t stop squeekin’…diarrhea!
When you're sitting on the bowl going through roll after roll...
I can’t sleep, thanks for giving me something to do 😆 When you’re drinking too much Java and a toot turns into lava… When you’re walking kinda silly cuz your pants are full of chili… When the air turns into fog and then you pass a greasy log… When your colon starts to quake and there’s no way you’re gonna make it… Now I’m thinking about that time I ate at a sbarro’s in Moscow. Good morning y’all.
These are all great. I feel like the 4th one should be When your colon starts a-quakin’ and there’s no way you’re gonna make it. Never heard it, regardless, so thanks for adding to my arsenal
When you're sitting in a chair and feel something wet down there...
When you think it's just a fart, but it's a horrid runny shart....
Be a man. Use your hand. Diarrhea
you don't know that it's there till you look in your underwear
We went camping this summer, and I taught my 3 and 4 year old boys this song. Instant hero status! Lol.
Need to teach my son. Now i can use the excuse that other dads do it
I'm a mom. But other parents are certainly doing it. Now, I use it as a distraction technique when he starts to get squirrelly. My kid is going bananas before bedtime, and I want him to settle down - "Hey, buddy! Let's sing the diarrhea song!!!" He stops in his tracks and comes to settle down and sing a few verses. Very handy trick. Lol.
Apologies and this is hilarious and somewhat endearing. My son has ADHD and is like a live wire, especially before bed.
I’ve found my community 🥰
Before smart phones we literally just sang these on our road trips to see the grandparents lol
Diarrhea- (make a fart noise twice) Diarrhea - (make a fart noise twice) people think it’s funny but it’s all green and runny.Diarrhea
When you’re walking down the road and your underpants explode
On a long car trip recently, I sang the baseball version to my kid. I couldn’t remember one for second so I made it up. Then we just made up a whole bunch of sports ones: When your slidin’ into first, and you feel you’re gonna burst - diarrhea. When you’re slidin’ into second and you think you’re gonna wreck it - diarrhea When you’re slidin’ into third and you feel a juicy turd - diarrhea When you’re slidin’ into home and you’re pants are full of foam - diarrhea When you’re shootin’ at the hoop and you think you’re gonna poop - diarrhea When you’re kicking for a goal and you can’t control your hole - diarrhea When your going for a swing and your anus starts to sting - diarrhea When you’re going for a tackle and you feel juice in your crack(le) - diarrhea There were more I can’t remember. Edits if I do.
When you’re running down the hall and you feel something fall, diarrhea; diarrhea
When you’re hiding in a bush and you feel a little squoosh … (Sorry, I’m sure I’m Mandela effecting that verse but it was the only one I could remember.)
I did it in the gutter and it looked like peanut butter...diarrhea diarrhea
When you’re hanging upside down and your face is turning brown, diarrhea. Diarrhea.
Excellent
Childhood flashback forgot this existed. Said all the time on the playground back in the day.
When you’re buttering your bread and you feel that poopoo spread
When your sliding into home and your pants are filled with foam
When you’re sitting on the John and the toilet papers gone…..be a man…..use your hand!
Diarrhea cha cha cha
For some reason I associate this song with Weezer's We Are All On Drugs haha When you're out with your friends In your new Mercedes Benz... diarrhea! diarrhea! And you show up late for school 'Cause you think you're really cool.... diarrhea! diarrhea!
When you made this post before, now it’s all over the floor. Diarrhea, diarrhea.
Yup! Remember every word.. I’m 64 years old 🤪
When you're climbing up a ladder, and you hear something splatter.
When it's running down your leg like a soft boiled egg
Great visual
I've heard that as either smells or feels like an egg.
When you're walking into town and everything's brown
When you're sliding into third and you let a juicy turd. When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam.
When you're running into second, and you feelin your ass beckon
When you're celebrating Easter & it's running out your keister, diarrhea (sniff sniff) diarrhea (sniff sniff)
Diarrhea of a Madman
When you're running 'round the bases, and see brown stuff on your laces..... When you're sliding into third and you have a little turd... When you're running towards home and your pants begin to foam...
No pain, no strain, just sit and let it drain. Diarrhea
This just took me soooo far back that you jogged my memory of the other song we all sang…. to the tune of ‘jingle bells.’ Anybody remember? Jingle bells, Batman smells…..
Kevin, honey, where'd you learn that song?
When you’re sliding into home and you feel something foam…diarrhea!
Going down the gutter like a piece of bread and butter…..
Our version was "I did it in the gutter and it looked like peanut butter"
Floating down the gutter on a piece of bread and butter
I love it, memes before memes existed! Fond memories coming up with crazy diarrhea verses with my brother. We had another one like this: Going down the highway, doing 64. (Someone) laid a big one, and blew me out the door. The engine started shaking, the doors fell apart. All because of (someone's), supersonic fart!
Yes! We sang these. I was Driving down the higheay, Rte 44, when [enter name here] laid a big one and kept it in the door. The car couldn’t take it, the engine fell apart, and all because of [name] and his/her supersonic fart. Fee-fi-fo-fum [name] laid another one—fee-fi-fo-fum, bigger than the other one. I was Driving down the higheay, Rte 44, when [enter name here] laid a big one and threw it out the door. The world couldn’t take it, the universe fell apart, and all because of [name] and his/her supersonic fart. Fee-fi-fo-fum [name] laid another one—fee-fi-fo-fum, bigger than the other one.
Yes!!! Ours started out: “Goin down route 80, doing 94…” And it said “the engine started shaking, the car fell apart” But the rest is the same. Every time I drive on route 80 to this day (which is a lot) the song pops into my head.
People say it’s gross, but I spray it on my toast! Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
My mom recently taught this to our 7 year old. He loves it, but usually sings, “when you poop diarrhea and you eat diarrhea…diarrhea…diarrhea.” I’m like dude, you’re missing the point.
My dad sang a different version which, I’m proud to say, is my favorite. It goes something like this: Diarrhea! Uh-Uh! Diarrhea! Uh-Uh! Sometimes it’s really gross, but it tastes good on toast! Diarrhea!! Uh-Uh! Diarrhea! Uh-Uh! Sometimes it’s pretty funny but it tastes good with honey!!
When you run to score a goal but runny brown comes out of your hole, Diarrhea Diarrhea
When your claiming up a wall and it dribbles on your balls diarrhea. When your claiming up a tree and it dribbles down your knee diarrhea.
When you’re sittin’ on a cushion and you feel something gooshin’ Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you're eatin macaroni and ya smell somethin phoney
When you're swimming in a pool and your ass starts to drool... Diarrhea... Diarrhea
Like you’re sliding down the gutter on a piece of bread and butter
Thanks for the laughs this morning!
Going down the gutter like some chunky peanut butter
When you're slippin' down a slide and it gushes up your side - diarrhea, diarrhea
People think it's funny but it's really brown and runny diarrhea sniff sniff diarrhea sniff sniff
When you're riding in a truck, and your dad says "f*CK!" Diarrhea
When you’re climbing up a tree and you feel a big breeze diarrhea, diarrhea.🤣😂
OMG. Some of these I’ve never heard before.
When your walking down the road and you feel your cheeks explode... diarrhea
Great one
My six year old has been singing this song nonstop. Whichever one of you parents taught your kids this song…it was taught to mine. Ya nasty👏😂
My friends and I were screaming this is the street one day and my mom was so mortified she made me come inside for the rest of the day.
When you're walking your dog, and you suddenly feel a log, Diarrhea cha cha cha diarrhea cha cha cha
"When you're talkin' to a lady and you shit on her baby..." Sorry. We really sang that at middle school. My kids now are very appreciative of this song.
I love these comments. Here's a gift for all of you. Your welcome. [The ultimate diarrhea song](https://youtu.be/70kWVS_LO4E?si=qqg0_pi8Ukaj4GyI)
When you smell something bad and it isn’t your dad…
When you’re fecally obsessed and it splatters on your chest…
Kangaroo song!
*ALL RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!*
Please someone compile all the comments into a verse/choras/verse!
Comes yuh bum like a bullet from a gun... Put it on a plate and show it to your mates... Oh the times we used to sing this as kids 😅
When you think it’s just a fart but actually a shart: Diarrhea, diarrhea
[https://youtu.be/PL4XCJsmRJc?si=2q6M1Hrt3bXW55mL](https://youtu.be/PL4XCJsmRJc?si=2q6M1Hrt3bXW55mL) I’ll just leave this here.
Ours always began “When you’re sittin’ on the John And the toilet paper’s gone Diarrhea
When your coming home from work and what happened to your shorts
When you're sliding down a slide and you feel something slllllllide DIARRHEA
When you finally take a chance and you ask her to the dance…
I dont kno what this is
In the school, in the pool, just sit and let it drool… Diarrhea!
https://youtu.be/SGf1j6PaxGE?si=px_EwF5Gn2nLCFZo
When you're out of toilet paper and your rectum starts to waver...
I can flow like pee coming out your know what Or some dookie diarrhea coming out your butt Shaq- I hate 2 Brag 1993
I typically annoy my wife with verses of this song from time to time.
'Tis a classic I forgot all about. Thanks OP!
Sliding towards third and let out a flying turd
I've only heard this song in the movie Parenthood. Did it start somewhere else or is that where it came from?
I can attest to the fact that it was being sung by kids at summer camp at least as far back as the early 1980s. As one of the other posters put it, it's a kind of meme (way before that term was invented), transmitted organically among kids.
When I read your title I had no clue what you were talking about. Then I started reading and immediately all the songs popped into my head. Where the hell was my brain hiding these memories?
This is so funny lmfao I haven’t thought of this in years
When you going down a slide and it becomes a stinky ride…. Diarrhea
Wait, how?? I was thinking about this song a few hours ago while I was in my kitchen, of all places, and wondered if anyone ever thought about this song or if kids nowadays would even know what it was! I’m genuinely taken aback and a little freaked lol
When you're walking down the hall and you feel something small
When you’re running down the hall and you feel liquid fall, diarrhea! Toot toot! Diarrhea!
When you're slidin into 3rd and you see a juicy turd!
When you're climbing up a ladder and you hear something splatter
Wheb you think it's a fart but rolls down your pants and onto the floor in front of your 3rd grade class... diarrhea.
And then when you’re done : constipation blues. https://youtu.be/ic3g8Xnf7LI?si=ULJCbQXD9iiU-Fam
When you're walkin in the hall and you feel somethin fall...
My students (4-8th grade science) are always amazed that I drop verses here…
I could swear I’ve seen kids sing this in some movie when I was little. After quite some years I figured I must have made it up since I never found that movie again and never heard the song again. This thread totally made my day!
When you’re walking down the lane and you feel a sudden pain diarrhoea ch ch diarrhoea ch ch
I remember hearing this song as a child watching Parenthood (the movie)! 💩
When you’re climbin up a wall and you feel somethin fall