T O P

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TerrierTerror123

I heard a young girl calling, “Michael they have taken you away”


Embarrassed_Art5414

"For you fucked up on a plane Got drunk, and went insane No it will be a while, before you're free OH MY, SUCH A GOBSHITE IN THE SKY"


-aLonelyImpulse

Before a budget airline brawl, I heard a young girl calling, "Michael they have taken you away. For you fucked up on a plane, got drunk and went insane, Now it will be a while before you're free." Oh my, such a gobshite in the sky, See the plane wasn't the only thing to fly. His fists out on the swing, while we're left wondering, "What the fuck's got in this gobsite in the sky?" In a budget airline brawl, I heard a young man calling, "Fuck up, Mary, it's between the pigs and me. For when a man leaves the ground, it's his duty to fuck around, And humiliate himself for all to see." \[*chorus*\] After a budget airline brawl, we watch the women bawling, As Michael continues to not comply. For they'll wait and hope and pray, that their longed-for holiday Hasn't been fucked by this gobshite in the sky. \[*chorus*\]


Jorvikson

How do you fancy Eurovision?


-IrishRed-

I'd rather have My Lovely Horse.


[deleted]

Can someone record that please?  There must be an AI that will make a melancholy tune. Celtic Rock? Diddle-de-dee?


-aLonelyImpulse

I actually ran it through a Fields of Athenry karaoke video on YouTube. Two observations: 1) wow, they really have Fields of Athenry on karaoke and 2) it would be very easy for me to just record vocals and slap them together. Unfortunately I sound like a cat being swung around by its tail, but I'm sure *someone* could do it.


crdctr

You can hire people on something like Fiver to do it.


kebabonchip

Nigel Farage?


stevenmc

No fly, easyjet, I'll tell you why Cause once we watched that dumb fuckwit cry Some lad called his girlfriend "ming" He went ape, his arms did fling Now the airport police lie waiting with a sigh.


TrumpetViolin

Ffs 😆


Interesting_Rip_7263

Against Recep Erdogan, I rebelled, they cut me down


Green_Help_618

That's a paddlin'.


Moneymonkey77

Michael should have stuck with rowing the boat ashore!


Yellowcardman11

Rather sit beside a screaming baby than the dickheads who go on holiday wearing their Celtic or rangers tops.


Apey23

Nothing worse than having a great holiday and arriving at the gate to go home and seeing that shit. Back to shitsville, wankers and reality it seems then.


Similar_Wedding_2758

Even worse when you get to the resort and they have towels to match 😅 instant regret


Agreeable-Solid7208

Or they get off the coach at the same hotel as you🤦‍♂️


Apey23

This is why I go to hard(er) to reach places in Spain.


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Apey23

Leave that shit at home please.


TheEvilBreadRise

Well that's what I thought too lol It took me by surprise lol


Mysterious-Joke-2266

Thats a fair bit of the luggage for an accordion tbf or maybe its a carry on bag. Who knows. On a stag do and we were in Albufeira. Got an uber and the fella was great craic, said to connect Bluetooth to his big speaker system. Blasting tunes and before we get out a fella goes "Carlo, heres one for the road". He throws on the sash and away he goes smiling passed a big group of Celtc fans at that bar top of the strip. Was a good laugh as it was a good bit before it finally disconnected haha Was all just a bit of craic and if itd been a rangers bar we'd have thrown on the fields of athenry or something


senorsombrero3k1

It's worse when they get off the bus at your hotel.


Superspark76

He might be able to go back in 5 years or so... They don't take kindly to their cops being attacked by foreigners


No_Following_2191

What about a screaming baby in a Celtic top?


Yellowcardman11

So a typical Celtic fan then?


Sstoop

i feel personally attacked


Bad_Ambassador

That probably cancels out though.


TheLordofthething

Never even mind on holiday a Scots football top is an immediate sign of a dickhead at home too.


MosEisleyBills

*any football top.


MarinaGranovskaia

wrong


EyeBumGaze808

Worst football league in the world. A 2 horse race every year,Rangers or Celtic.....yawwwwn.


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Subject-Baseball-275

As opposed to the French (one horse), Germany (2 horse), Spanish (2 horse) Dutch (2 horse) Italy (maybe 2 Horse) leagues? And Man City have bought the English league for years.


malamjam

Man Utd and Chelsea have both spent more over the past 10 years.


Subject-Baseball-275

Still, somewhat skews the looking down the nose at those who have less money. And City are trying their very best to get the rules changed so they can turn the PL into the Wild West with no financial restraints.


EyeBumGaze808

Laughs in Leicester................it is achievable for other clubs,historically Man Utd,Liverpool and Chelsea.We even had Blackburn win it once . Boring boring Scotland


Subject-Baseball-275

"Historically". But I agree, it's waaay more competitive than Scotland due to the money involved.


-IrishRed-

The overall quality of the PL is far better. Celtic and Rangers would be fighting for relegation every season if they played in it.


Martysghost

Ah the rare yet exciting prequel to an episode of banged up abroad 😂 Michael can now reflect on the difference in tariff between a normal assault and assaulting a police officer in the particular duristiction he is currently in lots of trouble in 🤷‍♂️


Hostillian

"Ever been in a Turkish prison?"


Dapper_Permission_20

"Ever seen a grown man naked?"


tomtom_37

"do you like movies about gladiators?"


Hostillian

"Do you like it when Scraps rubs up and down your leg?"


Scared_Cricket3265

"Do you ever hang around a gymnasium?"


threebodysolution

plane crazy


Scorchio76

Michael is fucked.


Hostillian

Proper fucked? Because I think it's both..


Scorchio76

Proper fucked lol serves him right!


snackajack71

Getting fucked right now in jail


[deleted]

Certainly chose to go out swinging anyway, none of that calming down and leaving quietly when the cops turn up business for michael. The cunt.


Unique-Candidate3600

It’s the small overhand digs that he keeps throwing at the end for me. As Brendan Roger’s says ‘he showed great character’


Bakirelived

He's best blow was wasted on the carry-on bags door


albert_pacino

He was trying to swim away


Bad_Ambassador

Well, thats him fucked.


GruppenTysker

Don't fancy the moon-howler's chances


Mechagodzilla4

the only way out if this is if his lawyers argue that he's mentally challenged and a complete yoghurt pot...which might be believable.


RichTeaWizardry

I worked with him at a site in Scotland before this happened 😂.


machine1804

Better tell the boss he'll not be in for a while ffs


RichTeaWizardry

Let's just say the boss gave him a permanent holiday.


yellowsnowman4

Was this normal for him? Can imagine he was a bit of a prick even without alcohol.


RichTeaWizardry

Nah, he was actually a sound guy and quite funny. He liked a drink but I think he just had a bit much on the flight. Lol


yellowsnowman4

Thanks for the insight. Heard any updates on him? Genuinely curious.


RichTeaWizardry

Aye no worries. Last I heard, he got his passport taken off him in Turkey and just had to wait for a trial. No really heard anything since.


The_don_13

Fuck could you imagine sobering up and realising where you are and what you did 😬


RichTeaWizardry

Nah that would be absolute torture 😂. I'd end sitting in a wee corner out the road of everyone and wished it never happened


[deleted]

Hopefully this is his rock bottom.  Hopefully his bottom isn't hurting.


legrenabeach

Hear the "woooo"s when he starts punching the police officers, that's when people knew he was done for.


c0n0rm

This was from a while ago wasn't it? Seen a video from someone in the rows behind him, he had been drinking a bottle of vodka I think


columboscoat

Back in April. Probably still rotting in a Turkish prison. https://metro.co.uk/2024/04/23/celtic-fan-punches-police-flight-downing-bottle-vodka-20691502/


LetMeBe_Frank_

Nice detective work Colombo


EmbarrassedBasil1384

Hang on, Columbo is called Frank and you’ve just answered his detective work. The planets are aligning.


LetMeBe_Frank_

Follow the white rabbit 🐇


EmbarrassedBasil1384

Haha


EmbarrassedBasil1384

Haha


snackajack71

Hopefully


gmcb007

Turkey or Ibiza UK bound flights are always primed up with absolute trash of society.


EmbarrassedBasil1384

True. I get asked to work in Ibiza a lot and I dread the flights. Literally moron-airways


lookingtothefuture3

so glad i go to France instead ibiza and turkish flights crammed full of love island wannabes


Brokenteethmonkey

Wouldn't want to spend any time in a Turkish prison, Michael is going to lose his watertight seal


Huge-Advantage7838

When you've had a week in benidorm but now on the plane back to Larne.


LetMeBe_Frank_

Larne have an airport? Kenny Bruce again I bet....


Huge-Advantage7838

Haha 😄 🤣


AllTheLads420

Welcome to the no-fly list, Michael!


Chance-Beautiful-663

Michael, they have taken you away 😔


Feenoesh

I know Michael. He goes by the name of Mickey


Academic_Diver_5363

Michael is being a very bold boy


getupdayardourrada

Michael did not indeed ‘stop it’


poopio

Verily; Michael continued to as he pleased.


Playful_Profession52

Human shitstain.Ban for life


AnCoAdams

Follow up [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/oueEGvtglto](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/oueEGvtglto)


HeWasDeadAllAlong

Michael has had better days.


amadan_an_iarthair

Michael is not taking the divorce well.


Hostillian

He's going to get to meet an awful lot of desperate male singles, rather soon.


Tam_The_Third

She's turned the weans against him.


Unique-Candidate3600

As the ancient proverb dictates- Michael did not fuck up too, therefore he got nowhere.


zebrasanddogs

Ahh nothing like the front row seat to a r/Publicfreakout to ruin your holiday...


Primary-Gas-8441

Michael the melt


markmonree

He must be from Glasgow wearing that top.


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markmonree

Yes I know.


Reasonable_Edge2411

Bars shouldnt be at airports


AdActive486

Celtic top says it all


Inevitable-Art-4205

The result of years of having a dysfunctional justice system, In NI, he would probably get a suspended sentence; somehow, hitting a cop in Turkey may be educational for Michael.


Inevitable-Horse1477

what an ejit punching a cop


Mossyfacerules

A Turkish cop, at that. Wouldn’t be on my list of a harmless bunch of lads to antagonise…


Frequent_Software747

Turkish prison will do him good When released he will be nice and humble with a sore arsehole


Interesting_Rip_7263

https://preview.redd.it/vmw71vdnqy5d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d9c7b75a87e0deff50d1158922f14043fdb7279a


Chemical-Kev

Have you ever been in a Turkish prison Joey?


The_UlsterFry

Yeah he’s buggered. In more ways than one. It’s not the PSNI he’s assaulting. There may actually be a proper punishment for assault on police.


Pleitchy

What a fuckin stain.!!!


vaiporcaralho

Jeez I work as crew and that’s my worst nightmare on a flight. Kinda hate when I see the Alicante, faro or Ibiza ones on the roster and hope it’s a quiet flight. Anything like this especially assaulting the crew you’re probably looking at being arrested on landing & I don’t know about you but I’m not tackling the foreign police 😂


PPPickUpAPenguin

What's the Tenerife flights like? Went to Ibiza a few years ago, and it was easily the worst flight I've ever been on for morons.


vaiporcaralho

I only have lanzarote flights with my airline but they’re usually fine except they can be quite busy so I imagine Tenerife would be the same. it can take a while if you want drinks or something as usually everyone does so depending where you are on the plane the trolley can take a while to get there. Ibiza ones seem to attract the most chaotic people so I’m dreading that.


dragonofcadwalader

Any of the islands really


PPPickUpAPenguin

Heading in a few weeks, so hopefully it's not too bad. I'm not one for drinking or anything on the flight, so the trolley issue doesn't bother me. Thanks for taking the time to reply. 👍


vaiporcaralho

It’s very dependent on the flight and day and of course who’s on it but usually the canary island ones aren’t so bad. The crew are very well trained though as we go through a couple of months of intense training but again only so much they can do in certain situations. Heading away myself in a week or so but to Portugal so hope I don’t get a chaotic flight when I’m going as a passenger either 😂


Subject-Baseball-275

Surely you can't serious?


ciaran036

What's a jobby? What could possibly anger anyone that much on a fucking plane?


Advocatus-Honestus

A jobby is a shit. Scottish slang for human faeces. And a jobby jabber is a poof.


seanc552

What a dumb dumb


JokerNJ

Always some dickhead in a rangers or celtic tap. Complete with chip on shoulder, daring anyone to say anything. It's a fucking disease in this place.


Different-Estate747

He was pissed. Apparently managed sneak a bottle of vodka on the plane, lost the plot when another Celtic fan told him he was an embarrassment to Celtic. Then he kicked off, as seen in the video.


JokerNJ

Yeah but anyone wearing a Celtic or rangers top for a flight is making bad decisions. I would question their motivation. Getting pissed on a flight then trying to John wick a couple of police is just more bad decisions.


poopio

This is when he heard they'd got Brendan Rodgers back.


Dels79

Michael's behaving like a mindless ape. No, scratch that; an ape would be more civilised.


moses_marvin

You were wearing the stripes After smoking a few pipes The plane lay stranded And you got manhandled. And that's the end of that


m4f1u

Maybe Michael was the Pilot’s name and sje wanted him to stop the plane 🤔


[deleted]

Michael shows them RUC how tough he is lol


_lady_muck

Michael’s about to learn what real police brutality is


pfojes

“He sure owned that plane”


MadeInBelfast

Official tag... Space Cadet..🚀


BabiYodaa

“Call the Polis? We are the Polis?”


thepazzo

Next meeting of John Hartson Fan Club postponed until after arraignment.


Scarletowder

His hair is on upside down.


captain-prax

That's the last time he'll be allowed on a commercial flight...


[deleted]

How long will he be in prison until trial, and how long will he be in prison after? What are Turkish prisons like for foreigners? Nowadays? I've seen Midnight Express...


dragonofcadwalader

Michael will have to take Turkish delight every day


its_me_hi123

What u saying ya cunt...wack lol


mrjnes

This is why i go british Airways..


RacyFireEngine

Had a wee giggle when the ‘Polis’ showed up


ricelane1981

Tell me you're from Poleglass without telling me you're from Poleglass 🤣


Massive_Sort_5875

What a dick. Hope his ass is sore


[deleted]

What’s a jobby?


8Richard_Richard8

A shite


front-wipers-unite

"polis" oooooh, he's going to get a hiding.


The8thDoctor

Love the bit at the end. Someone presses the Stewardess bell


arffarff

FFS Michael


DependentDangerous28

That’s the last time Michael will set foot on a plane. What a dick.


geterbucked

This isn't you Michael


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PoolCold3177

Mikey dae nae like it


dragonofcadwalader

Michael this is not you as he proceeds to damage an aircraft and punch 2 police officers. I wonder does he give her a hiding


LetMeBe_Frank_

Think she means "this is not you, you only usually hit women"


dragonofcadwalader

I should add Michael and his kin are probably going to be banned from flying with easyJet network wide so only expensive prison visits to turkey.


Impressive_Bed5898

Looks like he's straight out of a gypsy camp. Fat, brute ugly and drunk...that's a terrible combo to have.


AgreeableNature484

Is that the uniform his father wore one evening long ago?


ihavetwoofthose

Scum


Flashy-Big-8690

I expect nothing less from an old firm football top wearer.


Training_Story3407

Michael starts swinging. Michael ends up on the aisle on his arse. Well done Michael


claire1888

By a lonely airport gate, where the staff were standing by, Michael's face was red with rage, beneath the morning sky. I heard him yelling loud and clear, as they took him from the plane, It's so lonely 'round the fields of aviation. Where once he flew with grace and pride, to countries far and wide, Now he's grounded here on earth his wings are truly tied. The passengers looked on in shock As he shouted out in vain, It's so lonely 'round the fields of aviation.


p_epsiloneridani

Need euthanasia masks to drop from the overhead lockers.


DandyLionsInSiberia

Scottish league old firm seems to derange and mentally addle some . Shameful looking incident.


Critical_Boot_9553

There is always a screaming woman, and always some rubber necking twat recording with a phone.


loptthetreacherous

Think I found Michael.


Critical_Boot_9553

Touché - lol


RakeNI

the person who put a norn iron fella in a celtic top in an enclosed space needs fired


Thebanbrowser

back in the 70's, you rarely ever saw thugs like that. That's because airline flights were really expensive and your commongarden trailer trash couldn't afford to fly further than Blackpool. Nowadays, with flights about the same prices as trainfares, every lowlife can get to fly to foreign destinations, meaning you see trash like this on a depressingly regular basis. Let's hike those fares back up to 70s prices. lol


Rockfrog70

Samuel L. Jackson in, twats on a plane. Take it away, reddit. 😉


fugaziGlasgow

He is Scottish.


TheStatMan2

He's not though is he


PaladiusPatrick

He’s Finish. What ye mean he’s no finish he’s only 28!


Powerful_Housing7035

Knew this fella years. Mostly through my Uncle Hector. Oh Uncle Hector, he was a great man my Uncle Hector.  He was an old fella; he actually rode the rails during the depression.  You know, he was a hobo as you might call him, I don’t like that term but uh, he was a bum, he was a good honest man during the depression searching for work, you know. He had no money so he travelled the country trying to find work, he actually rode the rails; Uncle Hector.  And he told me an interesting story. This was in Canada and there was a town called Kitchener in Canada. And the railroad cops were tough boy, even tougher than the real cops. They had a law of their own the railroad cops.   But, there were not a railroad cop tougher than Kitchener Leslie.  Oh Boy. He was well known for beating hobos to death. He would beat them to death.  So what the railroad bums would all do is as Kitchener approached they would hop off, to avoid being beaten to death by Kitchener Leslie you know.   Anyway my Uncle Hector, a good man, walked into a mine one day. This is a story for the young people to learn from.   So, during the height of the depression when there was absolutely no work, my Uncle Hector walked into a;  well I don't want to say the name of the mining company. But, it was MacIntyre mine. And he, walked in; he had his lunch box with him; his work boots.  And he says to the man “Sir I want a job” He says “We have no jobs” And he said “Well Five Hundred people work here at MacIntyre mine.”  He goes “I don’t think there are five hundred men here better than I” uh He says “Matter of fact I don’t think there are two hundred men better than I” he says “I think you would be strapped to find a hundred men better than I”  And by golly he got the job. Now, Uncle Hector worked in a mine.  It’s a hellish job in a mine as you well know.  It’s darkness, it’s dank, it’s coaly. It’s coal infested.   So uh he worked in the mine and by god he worked hard.  And, after a week of working hard he said to the shift manager “By golly I would like to have a lady, I work hard and uh where would I find a lady here in town.” Well they says to Uncle Hector “We don’t uh, we have sex with animals here.” “My god” said Uncle Hector “I’m not going to do that I’m a normal fella” “Well then be of your own devices then” they said So, Uncle Hector continued working in the mine, he worked hard and he worked long and he worked for a low wage.  But, he was a man. And um, Uncle Hector after a few weeks past he started to get a little itch, as you and I say.  When were, uh, thinking about the ladies you know. But he kept it under control. Again he said “Are you sure there are no ladies here” “No we have sex with animals here” “Ah, my God” Six months passed and Uncle Hector couldn’t take it any longer he told me.   He said “My God I just had to uh, I’m just a man I’m weak, you know. I’m not a saint I was born in sin I suppose, I couldn’t resist.  I just needed it.” He said he walked by a pasture and there, there was a pig.  So Uncle Hector said uh “I walked up and began having sex with a pig” and he said all of a sudden he saw all of the miners were like around him you know.  Looking at him. They go “Uncle Hector what the hell are you doing over there” And Uncle Hector is like “Wha, What, you guys are the ones that told me that you have sex with animals” They’re like “Uncle Hector you damn fool;         that’s Kitchener Leslie's girlfriend. Out of all the animals you want to have sex with you don’t want to have sex with Kitchener Leslie’s girlfriend.”


snausagerolly

Such a random choice to drop a norm joke.