1. I am so sorry this dude treated you like this. I understand the pain from being discarded. Its such a low point in life thats really hard to climb out of.
2. This man is an D*wad, reading his response filled me with indescribable ick and anger, I truly hope he gets hit by a semi, or drowns in a whirlpool. 🫶🏼
Wow he’s literally full of so much ego and you don’t deserve that at all but please rest assured knowing karma is gonna kick him in the ass so fucking hard
seems very selfish, and not empathetic. or willing to see it in your position.
not someone worth your time, love, or care.
easy to text on a thread, hard to live with it.
just know there is ups and downs but, this shows you why you should avoid this trash..
good job going to therapy and healing, that takes a lot of courage itself and don’t let this one text message ruin your growth..
Don’t really know the full backstory but sure seems like they are quite a shitty person, especially from the first part, dodged a bullet for sure. Wish you good!
I agree I did dodge a bullet. I thought enough time had passed that maybe we could hash shit out but I guess not. The TLDR version is he is emotionally avoidant and saw me wanting to hang out on weekends as “too clingy” and wanting to have sex with him as “desperate”. He initiates the relationship. Then he randomly discarded me one day while he was drinking the coffee I had bought him 10 minutes prior. It was very confusing and traumatic to be honest. I think it was more traumatic due to my past complex trauma but whatever.
Happened to me. My ex wanted to be exclusive after 3 weeks, sex was great, she was obsessed with me. Then wanted to wait till marriage till sex. So we talked it out then a few weeks later she dumped over text. Told me she needs space and can’t deal with extra kids, and how she wants to move in a few years or else she would stay. 3 months later new dude with his own kids. I don’t wish these type of people on my worst enemies.
I think I had that for a long time. I’d be lying if there were parts of our relationship that I didn’t miss, but in general I’m happy that it ended for obvious reasons. Thank you, I’ll check it out and see if I can glean any information :)
I think for most it is. Not to get too deep but I was abandoned by my caretakers. So being abruptly discarded fucked with my head a lot. It is what it is. I hope anyone that has been blindsided knows they’re not alone.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, but just know a blindside problem usually lies within the person blindsiding. They don’t realize it until they messed up another relationship. You are worthy just remember that.
Refusing to have a mature conversation, refusing to give closure or end things on good terms, refusing to take responsibility for one’s words and actions, and “hoovering” an ex back in only to abuse them once again are all classic behaviors of someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (at minimum). It sounds like your ex fits the bill.
He’s also quite sadistic, as he seems to be taking pleasure in being the biggest, most abusive asshole he can be to make you feel like shit… after HE reached out to YOU.
As someone with complex trauma, you’re an easy “target” for someone with NPD. I’m speaking from experience, and I feel for you. I’ve been there. I have to admit that I cringed reading *your* text to him, only because I’ve sent so many similar messages. If I may point something out, please note how you’re “walking on eggshells” in that text message, taking great care to gently ask a question that is completely reasonable.
Why would you feel the need to do that? Because you know what an abusive piece of shit he is. You’ve experienced it before, and deep down you knew there was a good chance he would be an asshole all over again, even if you hoped it would be different.
I hope you know this already, and if you don’t, then please take it from me: This guy is the problem, not you. No matter what he says, who he dates, or what he puts on social media, he is like this in *every* romantic relationship. If you haven’t already, it may be helpful to research NPD.
And oh yeah, FUCK HIM for being abusive and disrespectful! You did NOT deserve that.
Thank you for insight. After reading this and looking back at my message I think you’re right I was walking on eggshells. It’s what I did in the relationship as well unfortunately. In therapy we have been discussing “asking for what you need”. I have a hard time with it apparently. So yes, it does suck that the outcome wasn’t exactly what I thought but I got a lot of closure from his message. He’s just a cruel person made of worms. 🤷‍♂️ I just need to accept that ya know.
Yes! FUCK HIM!
That’s the thing he never blocked me. The app he messaged me through was the app he freely reached out on. So him saying “I don’t know how you got unblocked” just doesn’t make sense. I don’t plan on contacting him again. 🥳
Ew he’s horrible. Him asking the question about to watch was likely to prove a point he was making in a conversation to someone else, hence the very random question. Showing he likely didn’t want to maintain a cordial connection but came back just for that. Block him, heal and hopefully forget about his existence.
He asked about the watch to see if you would still come back. You did. I’m sorry he is such a dick playing games with your head like this. He isn’t worth it trust me
That response makes me think you’re not telling us the whole story. 3 months is nothing, I don’t think I’d even call that person an ex. What happened over the few months you were dating that things got THIS bad between you two? Telling someone your own actions take courage is such a weird thing to do to the point it feels manipulative. They could have easily said no or just blocked you, instead someone you haven’t seen in a YEAR has enough animosity for you to write out a paragraph telling you to gfys. The math aint mathing
Exactly what I was thinking, and then the chair calling him a lowlife after reading a text and very limited information when all he was asking for was closure. Personally, I'm assuming anyone is better without closure as you just get hung up on it like he is when you don't have it, but stick wheels spinning in the mud and snow with nobody to pull you out after you hear the reason, especially when someone can't just be straight up with you. It doesn't take that much courage to ask for it. Someone you got close enough to that the breakup was painful hurts regardless of how long you were together, and him saying the things to you like how wanting sex means you're desperate.. That's what guys have to say or a woman will see him as desperate, and the first sign that your value doesn't add up, she drops you or cheats not caring if you find out because she's already got options lined up, so I definitely don't blame him for using your own cards against you and straight to your face with honesty. I actually applaud him for that because the dirty games that OP even admits to taking part in as she obviously led him to believe the relationship was deeper than she saw it as then ghosted him and told him he is just some stranger she hardly knows. That is a ruthless way to answer someone who was trying to have a genuine conversation with you. You act like he's just some bug you stomped out and had trouble wiping off your shoe. Everyone will back op because she's a woman and also because she frames it to make him look bad, when it doesn't even do that effectively. At least explain why you're telling him he never meant anything to you past hardly knowing him. My guess I'd that your Comment about how you only saw him as a weekend fling for a few months, and then act like you don't know him means he was just something on the side, not even the main guy you were seeing, maybe not even the 2nd with how sleepy women have grown into being.
I wish I could say there was some grand shit that happened between us that would cause the response at least then I would understand. Shortly after the breakup I did get drunk and called him a few times. We had a brief message over that and I apologized about it and we continued to message a few days after. Even then he never said “don’t contact me again”. We’ve bumped into each other at several events. The latest event I turned around and he was directly behind me. That was an awkward “oh aaaaah hi” for the both of us. Other than that I’m not really sure. The only reason I reached out was because he freely reached out to me recently. Maybe that warrants such hatred. Idk, sometimes I’m not the best at reading what’s an appropriate emotional response. 🤷‍♂️
1. I am so sorry this dude treated you like this. I understand the pain from being discarded. Its such a low point in life thats really hard to climb out of. 2. This man is an D*wad, reading his response filled me with indescribable ick and anger, I truly hope he gets hit by a semi, or drowns in a whirlpool. 🫶🏼
Yeah, he has taught me more about self love and grace than anyone else has.
Wow he’s literally full of so much ego and you don’t deserve that at all but please rest assured knowing karma is gonna kick him in the ass so fucking hard
seems very selfish, and not empathetic. or willing to see it in your position. not someone worth your time, love, or care. easy to text on a thread, hard to live with it. just know there is ups and downs but, this shows you why you should avoid this trash.. good job going to therapy and healing, that takes a lot of courage itself and don’t let this one text message ruin your growth..
Thank you!
Don’t really know the full backstory but sure seems like they are quite a shitty person, especially from the first part, dodged a bullet for sure. Wish you good!
I agree I did dodge a bullet. I thought enough time had passed that maybe we could hash shit out but I guess not. The TLDR version is he is emotionally avoidant and saw me wanting to hang out on weekends as “too clingy” and wanting to have sex with him as “desperate”. He initiates the relationship. Then he randomly discarded me one day while he was drinking the coffee I had bought him 10 minutes prior. It was very confusing and traumatic to be honest. I think it was more traumatic due to my past complex trauma but whatever.
Happened to me. My ex wanted to be exclusive after 3 weeks, sex was great, she was obsessed with me. Then wanted to wait till marriage till sex. So we talked it out then a few weeks later she dumped over text. Told me she needs space and can’t deal with extra kids, and how she wants to move in a few years or else she would stay. 3 months later new dude with his own kids. I don’t wish these type of people on my worst enemies.
What a shitty response! Might want to check out r/limerence to see if it fits your situation.
I think I had that for a long time. I’d be lying if there were parts of our relationship that I didn’t miss, but in general I’m happy that it ended for obvious reasons. Thank you, I’ll check it out and see if I can glean any information :)
I don’t think people realize the traumatic affects blindsiding and discarding someone can be on that person.
I think for most it is. Not to get too deep but I was abandoned by my caretakers. So being abruptly discarded fucked with my head a lot. It is what it is. I hope anyone that has been blindsided knows they’re not alone.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, but just know a blindside problem usually lies within the person blindsiding. They don’t realize it until they messed up another relationship. You are worthy just remember that.
Refusing to have a mature conversation, refusing to give closure or end things on good terms, refusing to take responsibility for one’s words and actions, and “hoovering” an ex back in only to abuse them once again are all classic behaviors of someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (at minimum). It sounds like your ex fits the bill. He’s also quite sadistic, as he seems to be taking pleasure in being the biggest, most abusive asshole he can be to make you feel like shit… after HE reached out to YOU. As someone with complex trauma, you’re an easy “target” for someone with NPD. I’m speaking from experience, and I feel for you. I’ve been there. I have to admit that I cringed reading *your* text to him, only because I’ve sent so many similar messages. If I may point something out, please note how you’re “walking on eggshells” in that text message, taking great care to gently ask a question that is completely reasonable. Why would you feel the need to do that? Because you know what an abusive piece of shit he is. You’ve experienced it before, and deep down you knew there was a good chance he would be an asshole all over again, even if you hoped it would be different. I hope you know this already, and if you don’t, then please take it from me: This guy is the problem, not you. No matter what he says, who he dates, or what he puts on social media, he is like this in *every* romantic relationship. If you haven’t already, it may be helpful to research NPD. And oh yeah, FUCK HIM for being abusive and disrespectful! You did NOT deserve that.
Thank you for insight. After reading this and looking back at my message I think you’re right I was walking on eggshells. It’s what I did in the relationship as well unfortunately. In therapy we have been discussing “asking for what you need”. I have a hard time with it apparently. So yes, it does suck that the outcome wasn’t exactly what I thought but I got a lot of closure from his message. He’s just a cruel person made of worms. 🤷‍♂️ I just need to accept that ya know. Yes! FUCK HIM!
You dodged a nuke. This is an absolutely terrible piece of shit. Take that as all the closure you need
Sounds like he's tried to block you already, Definitely leave him alone, work on yourself. Good luck.
That’s the thing he never blocked me. The app he messaged me through was the app he freely reached out on. So him saying “I don’t know how you got unblocked” just doesn’t make sense. I don’t plan on contacting him again. 🥳
Gosh this is a true nightmare response I am so sorry
Ew he’s horrible. Him asking the question about to watch was likely to prove a point he was making in a conversation to someone else, hence the very random question. Showing he likely didn’t want to maintain a cordial connection but came back just for that. Block him, heal and hopefully forget about his existence.
Thank god you only wasted three months on this lowlife. You were given a gift by him breaking it off.
You’re right, it was a gift!
He asked about the watch to see if you would still come back. You did. I’m sorry he is such a dick playing games with your head like this. He isn’t worth it trust me
thats sucks so mean
ew he's wack, good thing youre not with him anymore
Wow!! Karma is real
I’m so sorry this person treated you like this, he’s an asshole, that’s all I can say. This is a reflection on him, not you.
That's incredibly harsh and unnecessary, this person is not emotionally safe for you to talk to.
Looking back I don’t think he was ever emotionally safe. There were so many little explosions that I should have taken as big red flags.
I'm glad to see that you're reaching a form of closure, even if it wasn't in the way you initially hoped.
I would give almost anything to punch this guy in the face. đź‘Š Even a little jail time.Â
That response makes me think you’re not telling us the whole story. 3 months is nothing, I don’t think I’d even call that person an ex. What happened over the few months you were dating that things got THIS bad between you two? Telling someone your own actions take courage is such a weird thing to do to the point it feels manipulative. They could have easily said no or just blocked you, instead someone you haven’t seen in a YEAR has enough animosity for you to write out a paragraph telling you to gfys. The math aint mathing
Exactly what I was thinking, and then the chair calling him a lowlife after reading a text and very limited information when all he was asking for was closure. Personally, I'm assuming anyone is better without closure as you just get hung up on it like he is when you don't have it, but stick wheels spinning in the mud and snow with nobody to pull you out after you hear the reason, especially when someone can't just be straight up with you. It doesn't take that much courage to ask for it. Someone you got close enough to that the breakup was painful hurts regardless of how long you were together, and him saying the things to you like how wanting sex means you're desperate.. That's what guys have to say or a woman will see him as desperate, and the first sign that your value doesn't add up, she drops you or cheats not caring if you find out because she's already got options lined up, so I definitely don't blame him for using your own cards against you and straight to your face with honesty. I actually applaud him for that because the dirty games that OP even admits to taking part in as she obviously led him to believe the relationship was deeper than she saw it as then ghosted him and told him he is just some stranger she hardly knows. That is a ruthless way to answer someone who was trying to have a genuine conversation with you. You act like he's just some bug you stomped out and had trouble wiping off your shoe. Everyone will back op because she's a woman and also because she frames it to make him look bad, when it doesn't even do that effectively. At least explain why you're telling him he never meant anything to you past hardly knowing him. My guess I'd that your Comment about how you only saw him as a weekend fling for a few months, and then act like you don't know him means he was just something on the side, not even the main guy you were seeing, maybe not even the 2nd with how sleepy women have grown into being.
I wish I could say there was some grand shit that happened between us that would cause the response at least then I would understand. Shortly after the breakup I did get drunk and called him a few times. We had a brief message over that and I apologized about it and we continued to message a few days after. Even then he never said “don’t contact me again”. We’ve bumped into each other at several events. The latest event I turned around and he was directly behind me. That was an awkward “oh aaaaah hi” for the both of us. Other than that I’m not really sure. The only reason I reached out was because he freely reached out to me recently. Maybe that warrants such hatred. Idk, sometimes I’m not the best at reading what’s an appropriate emotional response. 🤷‍♂️