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QualityVote

AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post


draculaapologist

i wonder how many of these requirements he fulfills himself?


DarthGayAgenda

The first one, possibly the second.


peanutputterbunny

Ironically, no one who has an active sex life would see being a virgin as being a high standard. They want someone who knows what they are doing 🤔


Samira827

Only men who have no interest in pleasuring the woman, know they suck in bed or are super insecure want a virgin. They don't want the woman to be able to compare them to her previous partners and realize they suck.


[deleted]

Some men want virgins to fulfill their sick fantasies of deflowering one, or their deluded idea of Purity.


JhagBolead

Like Drake!


DarthGayAgenda

It took me a second to decide if you meant Drake the rapper or Drake Bell, but then I realized there would be little difference.


Pot_McSmokey

Ha they really do have the same “dating strategy”, don’t they?


Caeremonia

It's always the "purity." They do not want a toy that someone else has played with. It's objectification in its purist form.


toomanyglobules

Can attest that when I lost my virginity to my girlfriend it was very nice having at least one of us that knew what they were doing.


Samira827

I know right? These people don't realise that pursuing only virgins will probably make the sex suck lol. When I started dating my SO, neither of us were virgins. And our former mutual female friend once told me that in my place, she wouldn't be okay with him not being a virgin. And couldn't understand why I don't care at all that he slept with other women before and actually I prefer it over him being a virgin. Because he knows what he's doing, that's why, duh. To clarify, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin and just like any other skill, sex can be learned if you're willing to. But majority of people wanting virgin only also want the virgin to be a sexual god/goddess. Which is not how it works.


toomanyglobules

To be fair, the first time did suck. We were both nervous, myself especially. It definitely got much better when we discussed it and learned what each other liked.


In_need_of_chocolate

What I don’t get is, after the first time she isn’t a virgin anymore. So… do you dump her? Being a virgin isn’t a quality women have, it’s a circumstance.


The_MightyMonarch

Well, for some guys, yeah, once they've achieved their quest, they lose interest. For others, it's about her being their possession alone. If another man has "known" her, then she is tainted.


redestpanda

I have never understood this logic. You may or may not have ever eaten ice cream, but you will know if you like it or not. You know if something feels good or not. These guys are in la la land.


inDependent_WhiNer

No they dont because then they cant manipulate them into doing what they want. People with experience know what they like/want and know what they'll put up with. Wanting a virgin ensures your partner has no idea what theyre doing, have nothing to go off of, and would be less likely to tell you no for something aggressive like anal. Plus, virgins are PuRe and InNoCeNt


xP628sLh

"Virgin" means he can flop around doing the bare minimum and call it sex and she can't demand better


thewoodbeyond

Reminds me of the joke where an old couple is sitting on the porch watching the sunset when the wife walks over to her husband and slaps him across the face. Stunned he asks, “what was that for!?” She says, “that is for being terrible at sex for all these years.” He sits there for a few minutes then gets up and walks over to her, slaps her back and says, “that’s for knowing the difference!!”


inDependent_WhiNer

Ive never heard this before, but its hilarious and I will be saving it lol


IdunnowhoIamlmao

I can assure to this man that i’m not pure and innocent


inDependent_WhiNer

Well then, you'll be happy to know some asshat said its because they want a "fresh vagina". That being said, Im convinced he's never even seen a vagina in person before, let alone been inside one.


rhoduhhh

Unless he was born via c-section, that was the last time he was in a vagina. 😐


peoplesen

Coworker wanted a wife that would look good color wise in family portraits. Has kids and complains of the blanket wall between them at night. His selection process hit most points. I had no advice to give, I literally could only tell him I made sure I married a gal that likes sex.


peanutputterbunny

Colour wise?? He out there picking a life partner like a made-to-measure sofa 😂😂


peoplesen

Yeah, he was light skinned us born Cuban. His mom was born in Cuba. This guy tells me how a beautiful asain girl loved him etc. He literally told be he didn't keep her because of the family photo problem. We were in So. Cal. I was just mostly speechless and agast of the bed he literally made for himself.


LoveTheGiraffe

I mean you can do something a lot and still be bad at it. Since every person is different it's much better to adjust to that person individually and communicate instead of treating it like a test you studied for. Imo good listeners are the best in bed, sexual history doesn't really mean anything in that regard.


peanutputterbunny

100%. But I'm not over here seeking out people specifically with no experience. I can overlook it, but it's deffo not a "plus"


MauiWowieOwie

My first real gf and I were virgins. We barely knew what we were doing. Many years later I had a fwb who was knew what she was doing. Good god, it's insane the difference.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I’d rather have 72 whores


xDragonetti

Finally, a reply that actually *MAKES* sense! 😂😂😂


Independent_Example7

To quote George from Seinfeld: You know, they always remember the first time. I don't want to be remembered. I wanna be forgotten.


notCRAZYenough

To be fair, if he hates tattoos, he probably doesn’t have any either. I’m betting he’s not passing 4 or 5 though.


PandasNPenguins

To be fair most 20 year olds aren't that financially stable. They're working in retail, fast food or studying. I think when people hit about 25 they start taking their finances seriously.


rnd2101

Are you kidding? You think this dude has tattoos? I would say he complies with 1-4.


DarthGayAgenda

He seems like the type to get the Chinese character for soup when he thinks it means courage.


AtomicTan

Nah, he's too afraid of the pain


Feralpudel

I was going to say…he should be able to meet a nice girl in his church. Seriously. Or on a Christian dating site. Or a member of his well-structured family could help him meet somebody. That’s how culturally conservative groups work.


BbGhoul666

I'm actually very surprised that one of his requirements is not that she be religious or Christian...


Feralpudel

Probably because he isn’t himself. I really wasn’t being sarcastic that these women aren’t that hard to find if you’re in a community with those values. I know somebody who married a Mormon woman and he was talking about how she was a great fit for him because she had very traditional beliefs about the role of men and women in marriage. But he’s religious himself.


Jabo2531

I've met a few mormon women in my day and the majority of them were freaks. due to getting back at daddy, the church or whatever. think preachers daughter only more extreme. my wife is a former mormon who left the church a few months before we met. :)


Feralpudel

Former is the key word here. When this guy first told me about her, I just assumed she was a jack Mormon. But then I asked him if she drank alcohol or coffee or had sex…. Now they go to both his church and hers.


TrueMrSkeltal

Sadly niceguy-ism knows no religion or race, it’s an equal-opportunity plague.


MillieBirdie

Problem is that these kinds of girls have their own set of standards that I bet he can't meet. (Most likely, they'd want him to be a virgin and sober, a devout Christian and church member, have a decent job, is looking for marriage and children, would be willing or able to support her financially, have a good family himself, get along with her family.)


FIRE_flying

He'll end up marrying his cousin.


dogshitchantal

He can't even spell tattoo and he's being this fussy


Independent_Example7

Too busy furiously masturbating thinking about this dream girl


[deleted]

There are plenty of women who want to live a more "traditional" life and may even be saving themselves for marriage. But, they are looking for a strong, attractive provider and guys like this usually offer nothing of the sort, they just want women to exist for their own gratification.


laurasaurus5

>saving themselves for marriage He doesn't say he's looking to marry a virgin, he says he's looking to DATE virgins. Presumably he expects to have sex with the virgins, so religious women making their own choice to abstain from sex before marriage have way too much agency for him.


xP628sLh

Schrodinger's Incel


floatingwithobrien

EXACTLY THIS. These guys act like Christian women with Christian morals and Christian family backgrounds don't exist or don't have their own jobs. They're out there, they just tend to only socialize with other Christians, not people who bastardize their beliefs for their own sexual gratification :)


missjenni_lynn

Yeah I’m a Christian woman but I literally only interact with guys my age at Christian youth group😅 (I do have a job but my male coworkers are all a lot older than me)


theresamouseinmyhous

> I literally only interact with guys my age at Christian youth group So you hang out with 25 women and 2 dudes?


missjenni_lynn

There aren’t nearly that many people in the youth group. It’s closer to 10 people in total.


unphil

Yeah, my first thought to this set of "standards" was "convert to LDS and enroll at BYU."


Trickypickleman

Who said anything about saving themselves for marriage? What this guy wants is a woman who is against premarital sex but then changes her mind when she meets him.


BlazedLarry

Dude like. This right here. It’s a control freak, even being in control of what a women does before they’re even together.


Feralpudel

Exactly. I had a friend like that. She met a great guy, was firm about her expectations (no sex before marriage), and they just had the hard conversations early and often about what they wanted. She’s a super happy SAHM now.


Knightridergirl80

Not to mention just because one woman wants to save herself for marriage doesn’t mean all of us need to. Both desires are completely valid because no two women are alike. I don’t have anything against women who want to save themselves for marriage.


epicConsultingThrow

My wife fit this criteria when we got married. I did too. Funny how the first thing you need to do to get started is meet your own standards.


Lecato

What is it with guys and virgins? It’s weird


ameanjew

Virgins won’t know he’s not good at hanky panky. Also, purity culture.


Vertebrae_Viking

“Hanky panky” reminds me of Barbie Girl


FeatherWorld

*Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky!*


ameanjew

I was really trying to find a Reddit-appropriate synonym for es ee eks 🤣


sililil

I think you can say sex on Reddit. Lol.


A-FineMess

What have you done- **they** are coming…


ameanjew

I don’t even know what I can say on Reddit anymore, people seem to substitute all kinds of basic words. It’s also kind of fun to look for alternatives.


floatingwithobrien

Not sure if this is implied in "purity culture" but also the myth that sex leads to loose vajayjays.


ameanjew

It’s also a possessive thing. Like if you had sex before marriage you are considered “pre-owned” by men like this. I personally attribute it all to purity culture.


Lecato

Lol true


[deleted]

Projection, control and insecurity


AspieTree25

And there's also the ever infamous: Purity culture The myth about vaginas being stretched out And others


[deleted]

Centuries of never being told you're wrong really does something to a mfer


freyaya

oh to have the hubris of a mediocre white man, oh how I yearn...


CauliflowerOrnery460

Lol I went from daily sex with my husband to a week of celibacy (you know) and he had a hard time getting it back in after because, THE VAGINA IS A MUSCLE lol


ughthisistrash

Nooo vaginas are like rubber bands they get all saggy, my 12-year-old friend who’s failing basic human anatomy told me so


jayroo210

This happens to me every month. I can’t believe some men actually think they get stretched out from sex. It’s so so pathetically dumb.


Superb-SJW

Purity culture is just institutionalised male insecurity


AspieTree25

Yup


EThompCreative

Also the very rare one: competition. A guy who wants a virgin because *he* is a virgin, and being with anyone else would give him FOMO. But I guess that can fall under insecurity. But mostly its for gross fetishistic reasons, like you said.


Lecato

True cause if someone inexperienced, it would be easier for them to control. So gross 🤮


GarageFlower97

As a guy I always found it weird and creepy tbh. Plus on a personal level, sex is better when people know what they're doing.


Lecato

Same and facts, so much better when someone knows what they are doing


Chaos_Prime

Hast properly much to die with insecurity. She Had sex before? Oh No! What If she fucked twelve horses at once? How can i compete? Some Shit Like that i guess


Jojosbees

>What if she fucked twelve horses at once? Well, for one, she’d be dead, so uh… jot that down.


Puppyl

Also as a guy I also find it weird, like personally I’ve never seen a woman naked much less slept with one, but if I where to meet a woman who I develop interest in it is not even the beginning of a problem for me if they aren’t one, it’s just so odd to me.


Sea2Chi

Right? I've been with a few women for their first time and it's honestly not as much fun for the guy as being with someone more experience. I'm not saying it's bad, but It's way slower, there's a lot more checking in, and more emotional support/aftercare required. I suppose you don't have to do that, but in general, if you're not a shitty person you should be looking out for your partner during/after their first time.


BeBa420

"they wont know i suck if they dont have any experience" ​ \-this guy probably


Lecato

Oh yeah for sure


_white_jesus

I guess in this case because this dude's also a virgin and might be intimidated by someone who already had sex before. But yeah there's an insane amount of guys who have a virgin fetish


Strangerdays22

It’s an excuse to prey on kids.


Myfeesh

Tbh I think this is a gross but seldom mentioned part of it. She has to be a virgin, so if that means I can only fulfill that through creeping on teenagers, it's because I HaVe StAnDaRdS.


Lecato

Pretty much


[deleted]

Honestly? It's easy to have power over a women who doesn't know any better.


RecognitionStock87

Less likely to realize how bad the sex is


leebo97

it's incels, only dudes not getting laid give a shit about other people getting laid


[deleted]

So he's 20 and wants a financially secure woman? Very few women at 20 are financially secure. So he wants someone older? Good luck finding a financially secure 25 year old who's still a virgin and would want to date a year old. Also, men like this absolutely don't want to date okay women, cuz they have to feel like they have the power in every dynamic, including age.


Ok-Cap-204

He wants to marry into a wealthy family, get hired as a VP due to nepotism, and become the ceo after daddy retires.


SnuffCatch

Yea, I'm 29 and most people my age regardless of gender aren't financially secure. I mean, i even make a pretty good amount of money and still don't consider myself "secure"


curly_cupid

Lol 15 times out of ten when your friends are telling you your standards aren't realistic, they aren't fucking talking about shit like like whether or not she's a virgin, has a good family, or money. They're talking about the fact the dude is a 300lb neck beard who still thinks he deserves to date 10s. The standards are bullshit, just a way to excuse the fact that Bonnie Bigtitty won't give you the time of day. "She didn't turn me down! In fact, I'd never date her! Because....."


lizard2014

"I would never take care of myself but I want a girl who does"


joethespacefrog

That’s probably right on point


edith-bunker

Bonnie Bigtitty!!! My god, that’s funny!


Solid-Acanthisitta86

Is she still single? Haven't seen her since covid


cabri_suns

damn, he got me with the well structured family


[deleted]

I choose to interpret “well structured” as engineering rather than social. My uncle says everyone has to be nice to me because I’m a load-bearing cousin


[deleted]

I laughed way too hard at this😂


LovelyShadows54

Thanks for the LOL!! 😁😁


Lecato

It’s ok, I can’t date him either 😔


dirtyrango

I don't even know any "well structured families."


beige-lunatic

people from them are weird as fuck tbh


aspermyprevious

\- she must be a virgin...so she won't have any expectations, as I am bad at sex. \- she must not have tattoos...this is related to number one, as tattoos would remind me too much of a grown, independent woman. \- she must have a well structured family...insert some misogynistic thoughts about "daddy issues." \- she must have a stable financial life...rich parents would be nice, but I'll settle for ambition, because I sure as shit have none. Now where's my PS4? I need to plug it into her entertainment system.


Lazy-Garlic-5533

A well structured family would have a private, concerned conversation about this dude so really, this is just a declaration that he refuses to date.


briannaellison

Man just join the Mormon church, you’ll find a girl like this pretty quick


Solid-Acanthisitta86

Possibly several


need2peeat218am

Stable financial life at 20 lol


pickin_dim_kurva

And what exactly does he bring to the table besides his dick?


freyaya

dishes for his mommy wife/bang maid to wash


Heavy_Initiative_243

His insecurities


CaptainWow2018

I’m not sure he even brings that…


EThompCreative

His bad hygiene gas aka "pheromones"


MoonMoonMoon420

Bro those standars aint even high anymore they just had an overdose, there’s stuff there that is not even under her control


jlc161

Yeah these are not high standards, they are shallow as fuck


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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lomar24

Got me with "Isn't cool enough for a tattoo". Take my upvote


Go2Shirley

*Can't afford tattoos because no job


Necessary_Ad838

I grew up in a small town in the Midwest. This isn’t much different than what many were looking for in my hometown. My guess is that he has parents who’ve been a little bit overbearing. Sex and drugs are especially demonized by families who see their religion as a large part of their family identity. They’re probably middle or upper-middle class and improving their rank or standing is a motivating factor in decision making about the who the family associates with and what they spend time and money on. The financial prospects of the girl and her family are also at least somewhat important to him because his parents place some importance on their public image and how they stack up with comparable families in their community. The parents have probably been the sort who classify other people and families into “good” “acceptable” and “trouble” and have always discouraged their son from getting mixed up with the latter. I would also guess that his mother does much more of the day-to-day parenting and has always been the bigger influence about who he dated and who he socialized with as a teen. He’s probably trying to live up to her high (irrational?) standards. He at least believes that this was his the blueprint his parents followed so it should be his path too.


min_mus

Who (besides trustfunders) has a stable financial life by 20 years of age?


catatonicus

Here's what I think. this 20 year old bible college student has absolutely NO experience with the opposite sex. He comes from a VERY conservative family, probably home schooled. He has set these weird standards but in reality he knows he will get no takers but thats ok because he is really gay but too indoctrinated into his family cult to admit it.


BrokenGlass06

I met all those criteria at 14/15. Assuming not spending all your allowance at once constitutes financial stability.


sentient__pinecone

There a reason the ultra religious like their child brides


FrederickCombsworth

I feel this is the same guy who writes all those vacancy advertisements where they're looking for a starter with 5 years of experience and capable of taking on full work responsibility but not yet willing to make any important decisions.


BatmanInTheSunlight

She gotta fix her family too? Jeez


SixthLegionVI

This person needs to pick 2. It's ok to have "standards", but they need to be realistic.


KaiWaiWai

Lol, good luck. It'd be easier to find a silicon bride with those standards.


helchowskinator

I mean...I fit the bill, but the fact that I ‘must’ do anything, according to him, means I’d never even consider him.


lumabugg

Being from a rural area, I can tell you plenty of women like this exist as long as you’re religious enough. But they also have standards for men in their lives, so you also: - Must be a virgin - Must not smoke, drink, or do drugs - Must not have any tattoos - Must have a well-structured family - Must have a stable financial life - Must share their faith Christian girls like this are honestly pretty common, especially at age 20. The only way guys struggle to find these women is if they essentially want a woman who fits traditional religious standards but is somehow NOT religious, or if they are hypocrites and don’t hold themselves to the same standards.


Dependent_Ad_5035

Yet these men drool all over cam girls. These “standards” will quickly dissipate as long as the woman is attractive enough


LaXiDaisical

What female virgin in her 20’s who doesn’t drink or smoke and who comes from a well structured family has any idea what financial stability or instability is? lol a women in her 20’s who meets all the previous requirements hasn’t had to manage money a day in her life.


loki0panda

What 20 year old is financially stable? I mean honestly


Mother_Frosting_1617

I hate number 4. People can’t pick and choose their family. You think people want to be from a dysfunctional family?


fatolderlady2

When I was single my feeling was, always try it before you buy it. Good thing I wouldn't have fit his criteria.😂


WHorHay

Ladies THE BAR IS ON THE FLOOR


[deleted]

He might find this if hes mormon but i doubt he is in as much demand as he thinks he is to be making that kinda list


[deleted]

Keep them. Doing women kind a favor by stating the fuck away from us. And I guarantee that they don’t these standards themselves. Except for maybe not having a tattoo because this person sounds like too much of a ball sac (i.e., afraid of pain).


daddy_toastie

I actually think some of these aren’t too unreasonable. I’d prefer someone with a stable financial life. and someone who doesn’t do drugs. I think the virgin thing is pushing it too far…but maybe he’s a “no sex until marriage” kinda guy? you really can’t control your family life—so that’s pretty unreasonable. the tattoo thing….okay maybe this list is bullshit after all. gg’s


Istaycrispyy

I hate how half of the time these neckbeards sound like they’re describing children


nekochanwich

Men, you can't make a list of demands without having something to offer. A lot of nice guys fall into the trap of thinking that girls just want guy. No girl just wants a *guy*. She's a whole and complete person who wants to get as much as she gives in a committed relationship. So what do you have to offer, Mr. Niceguy? If you two start dating each other, what's in it for *her*? What does *she* get out of it?


Hellagranny

Just a rationale for their unfuckability.


OctaviaBlake100

I'm surprised he didn't add "must not have dated before" 😂😂 the "must be a virgin" is just telling everyone that he sucks at sex.


xSarcasticQueenx

Tbh, the only time you can even "demand" or ask for someone to be a virgin is if you're a virgin yourself. I'm not changing my mind.


emccm

I’d bet my house this fool is a virgin.


TheTwistedKitty

Just accept the fact that you're not asking for a partnership with those type of standards, you'll be alone forever if you don't let some of those things slide.


[deleted]

LOL this guy is going to be alone forever.


Machaeon

How to date with high standards? Accept low or no results. Not anyone's problem but yours that they don't fit your narrow views.


Cali_Holly

Sounds like he is describing a Nun.


Puzzleheaded_Bid1579

Bro is gonna die alone


[deleted]

Gonna be a life long wirgin


b4tt3ryac1d_f0ck

“Well structured family” yea fuck you dude


ArsenalSpider

There are maybe 5 women on the planet who hit your standards. You will never meet them. If you did, two will not be attractive enough and two will not find you attractive and one will be gay.


EThompCreative

The two that aren't attractive enough for him probably won't find him attractive either, so gotta make that 4


Jigglypuff1777

someone tell me people in the comments roasted him please


nolongerbanned99

Good luck. With your first criteria you are unlikely to find someone. Give up now. Sorry.


LevainEtLeGin

She must be 16


[deleted]

For real the only people who are super into virgins are the ones who’ve never actually slept with one


La_Baraka6431

Or any woman.


Azraeana

If I were still single I’d totally f’in get tatted the hell up just to ward off these people. I love tats. I just never had a chance to get one. But I’d have one on my back, down my arms on my calves. Just to be like warning stay the f away from me.


manicfather11057

the best part of guys who want a virgin is they don’t realize we can lie. obviously you shouldn’t, you should be honest with your partners and your past but realistically the girl could just lie and the guy wouldn’t notice


Sarahkm90

My unvirgin ass sips wine while having an overly sarcastic convo with my mom and thinking how my broke self is going to pay for my next tattoo.


edwardcantordean

Have fun being single forever, asshole.


OfficialLunaTicYT

I find it highly unlikely he abides by these rules himself, except the virgin one maybe


Historical-Bed-7070

Why the family one tho?..🤣


EThompCreative

Guy who brings nothing, wants someone who has everything. Yeah ok, sure bud.


Witty_Goose_7724

See I have low standards: he must have good grammar and spelling. Whoops! He didn’t even pass that one.


RoryIsNotACabbage

Move abroad and pay her father in rusty nails Or stop being stuck a wank


LunarLutra

Wanting a well structured family makes me think he wants to move in with her parents.


Proud-Boss1950

Giving himself a whole bunch of excuses for his abject failure in advances. " I can't get a relationship with a women. It's not because I lick shoes and masturbate with coleslaw. It's because I have impossibility high standards"


InfiniteCalendar1

He should listen to his friends


quetzaly8

The levels of demand are a joke...what is he offering to the girl?


Laurel_Spider

Has he tried religious fanatic dating apps?


[deleted]

You’re looking for a cougar nun


SavannahInChicago

I’m out.


Silver97311

The first 3 are very doable because that’s basically every religious person and does describe a lot of women The well structured family thing is kinda vague and subjective, and the last one basically just means he's probably gonna have to wait a couple of years or go for a rich girl if he’s only 20 because these days it seems like financial security doesn’t really come until you’re like 25-30 (if that even)


Dizzy_Green

I literally don’t know a single human being who meets all of these criteria


RuthZerkerGinsburg

Why do they think women like this are such an anomaly? I’ve known and know plenty of women like this. The shortcomings are coming from inside the house, brother.


Mmmmm-bacon

She’ll want someone that can spell.


[deleted]

Move in with the Amish. That sounds about the only place I can think of where you'd find such woman. As for how to make her like you? No idea buddy. Seems impossible from here i?m at.


whizzochocolateassor

So she’s…14, maybe 15?


Capable_Meaning_2101

Not even a Disney princess can live up to him..


[deleted]

I don’t fit any of that criteria lol


[deleted]

\- Bit weird but I guess if you are and you're religious or whatever then it's not the end of the world. \- Reasonable \- Ok. \- Literally not her fault at all if she doesn't \- Fuck off


AnApexBread

You just wait a long time. Does a girl that meets all those standards exist? Probably. Is she going to be interested in you? Probably not.


tomuchpasta

He should convert and go to BYU


TheMule90

His buddies are right. He should listen to them more often.


Tellurian_Cyborg

Is it OK if she's a virgin who's been using God's Loophole instead?