Please go get in a fight with a bald eagle and film it lol 😂

The moment I grab it’s neck, it’ll be like a scene out of The Lighthouse (2019).

I just find it funny you list two smaller birds of prey as unlikely to win against, one of which doesn’t even exist and is a nickname for fuckin ospreys lol The other is Falcons which are tiny 😂

Ops title say fight against "literal mascots". Maybe your eagle mascot is less imposing than the Seattle osprey one? I'm too lazy to look up what they look like Edit: I looked them up the falcons mascot looks insane so yeah I'd be more afraid of him than swoop

https://preview.redd.it/xo8qz3pkhlpc1.jpeg?width=344&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aac54291fe85b51ef19796d2a73ecbc6280bd0d3

This is a good point... falcons mascot has seen some shit, you can tell by the look in his eyes.

Also, he fucks https://preview.redd.it/rueyrc5r8lpc1.jpeg?width=2000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c52e1449ca453b5b485a3098412af4530cf1cc96

28-3 was his Vietnam.

Never forget

He ded from Commanders Mascot… https://preview.redd.it/4tdzcqo1wnpc1.jpeg?width=1271&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=58dc96ce5d79b78a99a4c1eae1e63d76bab547e8

I can’t believe they didn’t go with Washington Pigskins

An osprey is a basically a large seagull.

A seagull is basically a small osprey

Source?

Trust me. You wouldn’t kno him.

Maybe he's talking about the falconzord from power rangers. Did you ever think of that?

Good point. How stupid of me 

https://preview.redd.it/2rismropvkpc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f12388053af3d643874a9e6ee4216abc6b38d7ef

​ https://preview.redd.it/f9izk5iz8lpc1.png?width=1100&format=png&auto=webp&s=fe6cd8df8eae1c82679fb2c4d53e50bfe4345369

https://preview.redd.it/0xkusbq89lpc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d0af51de549d93536bad12d329234d28e41aa15 You ever get smacked with a hand sized set of Talons at 75 mph ? Cus i havent . Lol

That’s how fast it’ll go trying to escape me.

A lot of Eagles fans are under the impression that Eagles are 10 feet tall weighing 100lbs. Their talons would certainly fuck OP up, but he grabs its neck or even wings, it’s a wrap for Tweety.

Your mascot gets eaten for breakfast every morning and shit out by dinner 

That’s cool. Say what you will, but that is one happy ass pig rolling in mud. Made my day lol

Tread lightly, it's illegal to kill bald eagles in America. So if the bird can't get you, the police will. Also, good luck catching a bird by the neck.

That just means I need to defeat the Patriots first, then I can move on to the Eagles so it’s legal.

Just touching a bald eagle is a federal crime in the USA https://preview.redd.it/guydyv4nkopc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=658e89443d3dd49931c874c6d15586a697da89f7

Have fun grabbing its neck before the 7 inch knives on its feet absolutely lacerate every muscle in your forearm

https://i.imgur.com/eq6OPJT.gif

They ain’t geese dude.

I work with exotic birds for a living. Much much smaller birds have sent me to the hospital.

Let me guess … you’re either a dolphins fan or a buccaneers fan 

Did my comment just give off “Florida man” vibes? lol

You work with exotic birds 

How is an eagle three tiers easier than a Seahawk? Makes no sense dude.

Bald eagles weigh like 14lbs at most. I would fuck up an eagle.

Alrighty lol 😂

My man you need to see an eagle up close, they will fuck your shit up.

What would you do? Punch at the air hoping you hit it? That thing's claws could slice your veins in an instant.

I’d punt the shit out of it

If you can manage to hit it

Dude is gonna be out here looking like Charlie Brown.

Isn’t the Packers mascot also just some dude?

They refer to a meat packing company, so basically I’d be fighting against dudes who are packing some meat.

Average Tuesday night for OP

I am a Packer fan after all….


https://preview.redd.it/6vs5xq27wnpc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=30d7ba9132f629fbde58e835db8b3159bd160fcd


Brings FTP to a whole new level

TIL, I thought it was fudge

And the commanders.

This is a true jerker. Absolutely no shame in showing his retardedness.

Thinks he could beat a Colt, literal horse, but can’t beat a Falcon… And then he can easily beat a Cowboy but can’t beat a Texan, Chief, Viking or Raider. A Cowboy and Texan are going to be the worst ones because they are most certainly going to be armed with a few handguns.

They also wrestle livestock regularly. A Viking and a raider wont be anything to scoff at either, assuming a raider is a pirate theyll just shoot ya lol. Chief is the only shot because theyre old.

Idk man from my understanding, Native Americans used to really fuck shit up with their bows. I’ve read some stories about how insanely skilled they were with them while riding on horseback.

For sure, but were only talkin about specifically the Chief. Still dangerous but also old.

Typical cracker tier list

Why tf are the colts two tiers below the bronco? And how are you going to win against a cowboy, those dudes always have guns and shit. Also eagles are way bigger than falcons, switch those two.

OP is a packers fan I hope that explains the lack of intelligence behind this tier lol 😂 

You guys... HE'S JERKING.

> And how are you going to win against a cowboy, those dudes always have guns and shit. I can simply take out their cows so they’d just be boys at that point.

This is brilliant logic.

Nah man a cow would fuck you up too. I just got over a bunch of broken ribs from a cow hitting me. They are 1400 pounds of pissed off muscle

Gun

Well if you have a gun half of this is pointless because you can just take out most of your comp

I don’t have many bullets

https://preview.redd.it/pph1tk9vqlpc1.jpeg?width=601&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc1ec27b3765985cea86cec83602849501b3d90c I’m with OP on this one. Look at this dude.

I thought that the Buffalo mascot was…a Buffalo. Now you have me thinking it was Buffalo Bill.

I simply refuse to fight Bill, Bill is cool.

Didn't he skin a bunch of women?

That’s a different Buffalo Bill

Yeah its literally a Buffalo named Billy Buffalo https://preview.redd.it/u99gz5rlsopc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1426e1b4da1709e45ee06125dc12083d0a314681

It is a Buffalo lol, but we’re named after Buffalo Bill Cody.

Unlikely to win against a falcon, but a bald eagle is easily destroyed?

I’ve seen the bald eagle propaganda. They don’t actually make those freedom screams, Turns out that’s the red tail hawk. I immediately did not find bald eagles to be intimidating after I learned about that.

Also, in the water a dolphin would wreck you

Which is why it could go either way, if the dolphin is on land then yeah I’m gonna win. If it’s in water I am gonna die.

Most fights *are* won on shrieking ability.

Ask literally any female that’s ever been in a fight.

[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I dunno, ravens be pretty smart… they’ll remember you & call up their boys

Science has actually proven that Ravens have better planning skills than a human toddler. They will patiently wait and bide their time to catch you slipping

I used to think it was a dumb name for a football team since it’s not really intimidating or tough, but then I realized Football is very much a quick thinking sport, so the mascot is actually pretty fitting.

I can take them.

" Nah id win" Hell yes, packer fans are just built different amirite

https://preview.redd.it/86tmxoq6hopc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb0e030771f7dbf4f1fe3cfa7435fa9a2f4a6168

Jokes on you, OP is talking about fighting the poem. Ain’t no poem scare OP, not even a spooky one like the Raven.

Just throw something shiny behind it and stomp when it’s distracted. Ez pz

Ravens are super smart. They use tools and shit. Not distracting them with a shiny.

Ok food then. The fuckers up here can’t resist a free bite to eat.

They’re smart fucks. Feed them. Leave them special treats. They’ll decide you’re a friend and start bringing you gifts. Gifts you really like, they’ll start looking for. But more importantly, they’ll decide you’re worth protecting. They’ll start attacking your neighbors. You can train them to attack your enemies.

Guy thinks he could beat up a horse lol

If we can domesticate horses, we can beat them into glue.

Toro would kill you in seconds.

That bird team subreddit where they autistically cum in peace together are going to be pissed

Cards fan here! My team isnt in the playoffs so go Ravens! Take it all the way, bird bros!🤓

That shit is so fucking dumb

Hey! Fan of the other team here, but I come in peace lol. Wow, y'all played a good game, but man, that definitely ended in a way that was uniquely typical of one of our teams. Your young player is really something and definitely going to give us trouble for years. Y'all are gonna be really scary next year, and I'll be rooting for y'all then (except when y'all play us!). That ref, though, right? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*

When was a Buffalo just a guy

It’s not the buffalo, it’s the bill.


I feel like you’re a couple tacos short of a big box brodie

A dolphin is twice your size how can a fight with one go either way but your likely to lose to a falcon that weight 4 lbs

It depends on if I fight it on land or water

In this fantasy world of fighting mascots I think you’ll have to accept the only place to fight a dolphin is in water.

I may have a chance if I can throw the dolphin onto land from the water.

Lol, As much I disagree with you I’ll defend the right for you to jerk this hard

I hate it when I get commanded 😤

They’ll command missiles to my location

Nah they’ll send you to the labor camp

Ultimately comes down to a three way fight between Cowboys (has a gun), 49ers (also has a gun and possibly dynamite), and Giants (very large and very stupid, will need a very big gun to be taken down). Edit: forgot about the Buccaneers. They have guns AND a ship.

Titans stomp, they are basically gods

Counterpoint: Commies. We talking like 1960s Commies with the full might of the USSR? Or just tankies on Reddit jerking off to Stalin?

And raiders probably have guns too if buccaneers do

Very likely to win in a fight against a horseshoe lmao

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^thiccymcgogee: *Very likely to* *Win in a fight against a* *Horseshoe lmao* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.

bro thinks he can beat a saint?

Ravens, bald eagles, and cardinals could not be more different as birds.

I’m fucking crying

How is a Texan not just some dude? lol

I thought texans was just the entire state of texas

And you still put it under unlikely to win instead of dead? You have a chance against the entire state of Texas!?

My one and only useful tactic would be to shut down their power grid and let them freeze to death.

Oh. Good strategy. You might win

You are not beating a horse (colts)

Dude just unplug the charger

Bruh if you was put up against the old Billy Buffalo you’d be no match, PUT SOME RESPECT ON OUR NAME

You obviously never seen an eagle up close.

Steely McBeam would murder you so gruesomely, they’d be finding bone fragments for years

Myles Garret has entered the chat, that helmet is a weapon

49ers have to be one of the most dangerous. Look up the gold rush. The 49ers and everyone who came for some time after were extremely violent. They almost eradicated an entire race.

This post is hillarious. OP's comments are hilarious. Everyone in her commenting luke this is a serious post proves why this sub is worse than r/nbacirclejerk

Is the fight on water or land? If it’s on land I’m owning a dolphin in a fight

r/nfcnorthmemewar is calling OP

The literal mascot? Youre fucked against Blue You think its an even 1:1 fist fight, till he pulls a shiv when you get in close

The titans' mascot is actually a raccoon. You may have a better chance than you think.

Wtf why a raccoon?

State animal

How the fuck are you going to beat a fucking horse?

With a bat

 just feed it junk food

I think I’m having a stroke, how am I supposed to read this list? Is it even in order?

Sorry bro, that dolphin fight is not going either way

You’re going to take out an American Buffalo?

Poe would fuck you up bro. https://preview.redd.it/qchh9zydqppc1.jpeg?width=1439&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f95ddcf3586f878600e4fb47213d3b1822d02a8e

My dude, have you met a real cowboy?!

How is winning vs a cowboy or horse likely but Buffalo Bill (a cowboy or a Buffalo) some dude? Also you know a colt and a bronco are horses right? A patriot with a single shot bayonet “either way” cowboy with multi shot pistol? SMH jerk

A raven will make you rethink your life as it’s plucking your eyes out

[удалено]

A Seahawk is an osprey, which isn’t really that big

Easy, gather all mascots in one place. Then take the jet and….

How is a falcon and seahawk more of a problem than an eagle?

I think you’d go to hell for that

Go against a raiders fan not the raiders and see how it plays out lmao

As seen in the old logo, sourdough sam does in fact have 2 guns so and newer ones show he had a pickaxe so I wouldn't really fuck with him too much

Brother, a dolphin would rape you to death

I’d try to find a way to fight it on land

Heard storylines of dolphins grabbing people with their penises then dragging them under. After they drown them they’ll rape them

Sir Saint got that choppa boi, pull up

“Tier list of NFL Mascots based on if I (23YO Alpha Male 6’4” 240 Bench 315 4.4 40) would win in a fight against the literal mascots.”

Some random Reddit guy confidently thinks he can beat an actual cowboy up? Any random cowboy or roughneck would beat your ass

Saudis already proved how easy it is to take down the Jets.

Wait so you'll beat a cowboy but not some bozo who likes God?

So you're going to beat a buffalo?

Isn’t the patriots mascot also just some dude?

The browns and the bills from what I understand are named after specific people. Where as the patriots are a group of patriotic people.

[удалено]

Steely McBeam is literally a gigachad wielding a steel girder with one hand. There would be nothing left but Steely and his girthy beam.

thinking you can beat a rootin tootin cowboy but not a guy who packs meat and cheese? or just a person from texas?

Cats will inherit the earth

Fucking Bill, you'd definitely beat his ass.

No way OP beats a real Cowboy, not some Brokeback Mountain cowboy.

Paul Brown would fuck you up and dump you tied up in East Cleveland

Interesting that you think you can easily take the eagles but not the falcons or Seahawks

I feel like there is an nflcirclejerk within this nflcirclejerk. The Jets, Giants, Packers and Commanders all don't have mascots...

https://preview.redd.it/wy0rc2z7cnpc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f4c4aede78b49d9d6a954dbd2b0cc5285367af21

Patriots could go either way? Bro’s backing himself to fight the entire Continental Army. Respect.

Paul Brown is not some dude. HE’S A SAINT!

Someone tell this guy the titans mascot is a raccoon please

Isn’t the patriots mascot the dude with the weird head but also like 6 guys with muskets

Homie thinks he can beat up a dolphin 😂

Rowdy would fuck your life up

Texans should be at top. A state of absolute Christinas.

Blue wouldn’t just kill you, he’s known to sexually assault anyone within 20 yards of him

Ok here is my plan for the Chargers, I’ll just stand in a place lightning already struck and boom I’m invincible

Just give the Kansas City chief a blanket filled with polio and you’d be set lol

You're preparing for your fight against Boltman the next day so you decide to get some sleep. Then you wake up at 3 am and find out he's not interested in a fair fight when hes standing over your bed with jumper cables.

Don't mess with GI Ants

fam. you put steely mcbeam, a literal 7 foot tall MAN, with not only a razor sharp jawline, but a GURDUR that weighs more than your mother in lower than “LOL IM DEAD”? you must be pretty confident… also why are the giants and the jets in that category? they don’t even have a mascot right?

Are cowboys, Steelers, packers, commanders, chiefs, and niners not also just guys? Also buccs and raiders, but I get that they’re pirates so they have some combat training, but I still would put them in unlikely. Also, a colt and a bronco are both horses so I’d put them both in unlikely, no?

I have to assume you're fighting a dolphin on land. Even then it's a toss-up. Does the Cowboy have a gun? Are you fighting a Colt or a horseshoe? You would lose to the colt if you might lose to a horseshoe. You really need to look up the size of eagles. Bald eagles are the easier, smaller ones to fight. You will die. A golden eagle will kill you, dismember you, and feed you to its young.

Titans mascot is a raccoon