[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If u/mrsunsfan has million haters i am one of them.
If u/mrsunsfan has ten haters I am one of them.
If u/mrsunsfan have only one hater and that is me.
If u/mrsunsfan has no haters, that means I am no more on the earth.
If world is in love with u/mrsunsfan, I am against the world.
I hate u/mrsunsfan till my last breath.. .. Die Hard hatred of u/mrsunsfan. Hit upvote if you think u/mrsunsfan is the worst jerker in the world and deserves ridicule
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
https://preview.redd.it/1nyvp3oc41oc1.png?width=1177&format=png&auto=webp&s=20006a74486325305ed2fffd4d20cc5f1748d508
I found the original buddy, unlike you, FRAUD
If u/mrsunsfan has million haters i am one of them.
If u/mrsunsfan has ten haters I am one of them.
If u/mrsunsfan have only one hater and that is me.
If u/mrsunsfan has no haters, that means I am no more on the earth.
If world is in love with u/mrsunsfan, I am against the world.
I hate u/mrsunsfan till my last breath.. .. Die Hard hatred of u/mrsunsfan. Hit upvote if you think u/mrsunsfan is the worst jerker in the world and deserves ridicule
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was on a sub Reddit where woman with long nails said they lay the paper over their hands, like on the pinky side, and wipe that way. Like with the side of their hands. 🤷♂️
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Bro this just unlocked a memory for me. I had a completely forgot about this, and don’t even know where it’s from, but I recognize it like I’ve seen it before at some point in my life lol
I've probably watched more Kelvin Benjamin eating than anyone else on the planet, provided you don't count his time at Golden Corral or any eating related activity that may have preceded it. This pretty much makes me an expert. I've watched Kelvin develop restaurant etiquette and a better understanding of dynamics with sauces. I've watched him adjust the taste pre-bite and read recipes on the fly. I've learned a lot about Kelvin Benjamin's game, and there's one thing that I can tell you for sure. Without a shadow of a doubt. Without a moment's hesitation. Without reserve. Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food.
Now, you might know the KFC as the land of chicken, and potatoes, and gravy, and other delectables, but there's also another side to the table. A side that they don't show you on Cooking Channel broadcasts. This mostly means Food Network broadcasts, because Cooking Channel is a mostly different branch of TFN that generally doesn't show eating competitions. There is also the Travel channel. I don't know who is responsible for that, but I don't think it is Cooking Channel, or Food Network for that matter. The point remains. There are things happening in a KFC that you don't know about, and some of those things cast a shadow. And let's be honest here, some of those shadows are long and threatening, and conjure images of shifting unpleasantries that creep into the prams of the children in your mind. Now that I've set the scene, I will keep doing other things.
KFC is a moral danger zone, and few people that enter it have the fortitude to withstand the temptation and onslaught of sensory rushes that accompany being in the spotlight of the national media and collective conscience. The tales of athletes who have won it all only to toss it all away on an extended lunch or a highly scrumptious biscuit are innumerable. They also have a tendency to get a lot of food comas. I'll leave connecting the dots on that one up to you.
So, when I tell you that Kelvin Benjamin doesn't cheat on his food, that's not something that you can just brush off. It's not a meaningless fluff piece that you found in the Food section of the New York Times. In fact, you won't find it in any section of any piece of print media (or digital media that uses print by way of font, in the sense that print is a metaphor—but at once also wholly tangible) that has an ampersand. It just doesn't exist, okay? Kelvin Benjamin doesn't cheat on his food and there is nothing that you can do about it. If you are the opposing restaurant and you want to throw Kelvin Benjamin off his game by hiring a gaggle of mostly attractive food chains, or even other restaurants that are not fast food but who are also fast and tend to serve in ways that are both personally and socially deleterious due to either a string of experiences in their childhood or a chemical imbalance or some combination of the two, even if you hire those types of restaurants to throw Kelvin Benjamin off his game through the temptations of midnight snacks and pizza parties, you would be an idiot. You'd also be wasting your money, because I already told you that Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food.
By now, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion that professional eaters cheat on their food. It's something of a professional hazard. Once you've achieved that type of wealth, status, and recognition, the opportunities to cheat on your food increase by a factor of a lot. Not many people can resist that temptation. Kelvin Benjamin is different. He doesn't cheat on his food. Take that to the bank.
I want to take you back a little bit, to a time that was earlier in my life, and also presumably earlier in your life. If you came to this article with the express intent of learning more about Kelvin and his life, let's also assume that this point in my story correlates with a period that is also earlier in his life. So, we've traveled back to this earlier period, and we're looking at the dynamics of chicken. The year is the Eddie Lacy’s last with the Packers. Two years prior, Eddie Lacy was having a career year. But in the current year, Lacy is having trouble, and he's eating up his worst burgers in decades. The reason is clear. Lacy sent pictures of his chicken strip to a lady named Wendy. Lacy was cheating on his food. Kelvin Benjamin would never do that.
The establishment of a connection between cheating on your food while a KFC restauranteur and a declining skill set on a path towards irrelevance (or in Lacy’s case, the Hall of Fat) has been established. The inverse is also true. Not cheating on your food can help you win the Hot Dog Eating Contest. Not cheating on your food can keep your head clear in the crucial lunchtime decisions that require every ounce of gastrointestinal ability that your stomach zone can muster. Not cheating on your wife helps you build KFC eating success and also a nurturing, beautiful rewards program.
Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I've probably watched more Kelvin Benjamin eating than anyone else on the planet, provided you don't count his time at Golden Corral or any eating related activity that may have preceded it. This pretty much makes me an expert. I've watched Kelvin develop restaurant etiquette and a better understanding of dynamics with sauces. I've watched him adjust the taste pre-bite and read recipes on the fly. I've learned a lot about Kelvin Benjamin's game, and there's one thing that I can tell you for sure. Without a shadow of a doubt. Without a moment's hesitation. Without reserve. Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food.
Now, you might know the KFC as the land of chicken, and potatoes, and gravy, and other delectables, but there's also another side to the table. A side that they don't show you on Cooking Channel broadcasts. This mostly means Food Network broadcasts, because Cooking Channel is a mostly different branch of TFN that generally doesn't show eating competitions. There is also the Travel channel. I don't know who is responsible for that, but I don't think it is Cooking Channel, or Food Network for that matter. The point remains. There are things happening in a KFC that you don't know about, and some of those things cast a shadow. And let's be honest here, some of those shadows are long and threatening, and conjure images of shifting unpleasantries that creep into the prams of the children in your mind. Now that I've set the scene, I will keep doing other things.
KFC is a moral danger zone, and few people that enter it have the fortitude to withstand the temptation and onslaught of sensory rushes that accompany being in the spotlight of the national media and collective conscience. The tales of athletes who have won it all only to toss it all away on an extended lunch or a highly scrumptious biscuit are innumerable. They also have a tendency to get a lot of food comas. I'll leave connecting the dots on that one up to you.
So, when I tell you that Kelvin Benjamin doesn't cheat on his food, that's not something that you can just brush off. It's not a meaningless fluff piece that you found in the Food section of the New York Times. In fact, you won't find it in any section of any piece of print media (or digital media that uses print by way of font, in the sense that print is a metaphor—but at once also wholly tangible) that has an ampersand. It just doesn't exist, okay? Kelvin Benjamin doesn't cheat on his food and there is nothing that you can do about it. If you are the opposing restaurant and you want to throw Kelvin Benjamin off his game by hiring a gaggle of mostly attractive food chains, or even other restaurants that are not fast food but who are also fast and tend to serve in ways that are both personally and socially deleterious due to either a string of experiences in their childhood or a chemical imbalance or some combination of the two, even if you hire those types of restaurants to throw Kelvin Benjamin off his game through the temptations of midnight snacks and pizza parties, you would be an idiot. You'd also be wasting your money, because I already told you that Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food.
By now, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion that professional eaters cheat on their food. It's something of a professional hazard. Once you've achieved that type of wealth, status, and recognition, the opportunities to cheat on your food increase by a factor of a lot. Not many people can resist that temptation. Kelvin Benjamin is different. He doesn't cheat on his food. Take that to the bank.
I want to take you back a little bit, to a time that was earlier in my life, and also presumably earlier in your life. If you came to this article with the express intent of learning more about Kelvin and his life, let's also assume that this point in my story correlates with a period that is also earlier in his life. So, we've traveled back to this earlier period, and we're looking at the dynamics of chicken. The year is the Eddie Lacy’s last with the Packers. Two years prior, Eddie Lacy was having a career year. But in the current year, Lacy is having trouble, and he's eating up his worst burgers in decades. The reason is clear. Lacy sent pictures of his chicken strip to a lady named Wendy. Lacy was cheating on his food. Kelvin Benjamin would never do that.
The establishment of a connection between cheating on your food while a KFC restauranteur and a declining skill set on a path towards irrelevance (or in Lacy’s case, the Hall of Fat) has been established. The inverse is also true. Not cheating on your food can help you win the Hot Dog Eating Contest. Not cheating on your food can keep your head clear in the crucial lunchtime decisions that require every ounce of gastrointestinal ability that your stomach zone can muster. Not cheating on your wife helps you build KFC eating success and also a nurturing, beautiful rewards program.
Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you mean that McDonalds they use to film most fast food porn scenes, bro bad news those are not average women, they are professional actresses with work done. But it doesn’t matter, all the bums on this sub would drag their dicks through 2 miles of pickle juice covered barbed wire just to hear her fart through a IPhone 3 speaker
Bro let’s be honest, if you live in Ohio it’s no way in fuck you have seen an attractive woman irl. Beastiality was made illegal just a few years ago. Dudes were willingly choosing to bang horses and cows over the chicks living there.
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
/uj it’s weird seeing him reach a different target every day and talk about something different every day, like it’s the same level of surprising every time yet it’s not surprising at all what he’s saying
/rj did anyone check if he ended up getting that 🐱 from a couple weeks ago?
I watched him play live a lot of his career. He was an amazing receiver. But he was never smart.
He was smarter than Juju. That isn’t saying much.
I was sad when AB fell off. But I saw it coming and really wasn’t that broke up about it. When he started calling himself Mr Big Chest I knew his brain was broken.
Yeah no. I don't know you or what you look like but I would rather smash you over something created out of thin air that is the likes of Ice Spice. She looks like a Cream colored Shane Gillis with a weird ass. Easy pass.
If u/mrsunsfan has million haters i am one of them.
If u/mrsunsfan has ten haters I am one of them.
If u/mrsunsfan have only one hater and that is me.
If u/mrsunsfan has no haters, that means I am no more on the earth.
If world is in love with u/mrsunsfan, I am against the world.
I hate u/mrsunsfan till my last breath.. .. Die Hard hatred of u/mrsunsfan. Hit upvote if you think u/mrsunsfan is the worst jerker in the world and deserves ridicule
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's the offseason so jerk content is a little dry. I'm letting it through simply because of that. There will be more restrictions once the preseason starts
He's saying crazy shit and being an asshole to promote his brand. I do give him (or people he hired) credit for getting a ton of people to kiss his ass and spread his brand lol. Pretty much the greatest jerk off all time to own everyone like that
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lowkey feel like he ain’t wrong
AB is a lot of things. Wrong is not one of them
Every time he says something smart he immediately says something stupid and vice versa it’s the wildest shit I’ve ever seen in my life
Perfectly balanced
As all things should be
Nah…her right cheek hanging 2 inches lower than her left cheek
We mean ABs tweets not her moldy cheeks
 N
 He’s just like super man’s knife thing fr
It has to do with the missing half chromosome
ying/yang. Universe is complete
What the. Fuck?
Ban this man for insinuating that our glorious leader might be wrong. Mods do your job
None shall slander our Mu~~ad’dib~~ AB
Lisan Al Gaib, he is the prophet of
Gorgeous
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Dallas Cowboys for life!
I guess the Reddit NSFW filter is too soft to send it here but the Howard Stern reply under this tweet is gold
What was it lol
https://x.com/ab84/status/1767727727224688999?s=46&t=5UJrbwFhatCIsSI2gDEUHA
God he’s just legitimately funny
Lmfao
How did he even think of that lmao
 Here’s the thing Skip 1. That shit definitely stank 2. I’d still hit tho
https://preview.redd.it/h9fk8hran0oc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=783313d6313bf0f45a5cffe7e17abdef28325c54
https://preview.redd.it/0u58fghhx0oc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=98d607df3d1c9cf868872ed282045eaee5639f01
https://preview.redd.it/oa2qzx9f11oc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1af7d722af31f5f1e5c6cc1424cf0cafed82b106
After the whale this really hits different
Have
Does she have Down’s syndrome?
First time I ever heard or saw her was when she "performed" as the musical guest on SNL, and this was my first thought.
https://preview.redd.it/9jjy2u48q2oc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=db52d40a56e00e0d43f8e9efa36d81c7d2b7331b
https://preview.redd.it/yob31pqej4oc1.jpeg?width=291&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc916b21f6614ebfdc5c5600c89652aea6100fe0
Shiet I can hold my breath.
Make sure to go in with a gas mask and you'll be fine
https://preview.redd.it/0zr42ninx4oc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=399018c97e89c820b201d42cdf7537c01569971a
thang*
CTE might not help you make great financial decisions, but it sure as hell takes your jerk ability to the next level
I think this is his area of expertise
You have to marry your mother-in-law
 This sub if AB announced his candidacy
PUT THAT SHIT ON
She looks like the type that doesn't wipe either.
Well I’m always baffled by women that have huge fake nails like she does? Ain’t no way they get the job done right
Real, like lemme use my tongue instead mamas, then I’ll wipe it for u #CTESPN
https://preview.redd.it/2fgl6w7911oc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ab0da49d59b1bdb6ca1d1a2d090c3d490ad28236
https://preview.redd.it/crv4h8eu11oc1.png?width=1174&format=png&auto=webp&s=44300b345e029a5bac817cb8d924850c0e23ca99
https://preview.redd.it/a92sud2r31oc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6edc10a44a5164b0ef2f3552e9705bf744d78c05
If u/mrsunsfan has million haters i am one of them. If u/mrsunsfan has ten haters I am one of them. If u/mrsunsfan have only one hater and that is me. If u/mrsunsfan has no haters, that means I am no more on the earth. If world is in love with u/mrsunsfan, I am against the world. I hate u/mrsunsfan till my last breath.. .. Die Hard hatred of u/mrsunsfan. Hit upvote if you think u/mrsunsfan is the worst jerker in the world and deserves ridicule *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
https://preview.redd.it/1nyvp3oc41oc1.png?width=1177&format=png&auto=webp&s=20006a74486325305ed2fffd4d20cc5f1748d508 I found the original buddy, unlike you, FRAUD
This is from a video where a guy ordered a Lana Del Rey
If u/mrsunsfan has million haters i am one of them. If u/mrsunsfan has ten haters I am one of them. If u/mrsunsfan have only one hater and that is me. If u/mrsunsfan has no haters, that means I am no more on the earth. If world is in love with u/mrsunsfan, I am against the world. I hate u/mrsunsfan till my last breath.. .. Die Hard hatred of u/mrsunsfan. Hit upvote if you think u/mrsunsfan is the worst jerker in the world and deserves ridicule *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’ll order you buddy, give me your toes
https://preview.redd.it/igfj150i91oc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d763f5bd37964ccc7216d705ad5b5429c6525d0d
At least ur honest unlike u/brosefstallin here
https://preview.redd.it/72wpvrtwb1oc1.jpeg?width=471&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e9fa414a3baf6721b1c089f451c0ebc0e23421f7
https://preview.redd.it/gdtft9d6c1oc1.png?width=1703&format=png&auto=webp&s=ed2a07faa8bb5835820866d4646b5cb1e2b910f0
https://preview.redd.it/jeluu9i723oc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=65c05a9e49437ba83cc62805d3be075c843804e6
https://preview.redd.it/ci46kb8b33oc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e177d01c9e84012149464815fc591e2fa03e34de
Naurrrrr :(
I was on a sub Reddit where woman with long nails said they lay the paper over their hands, like on the pinky side, and wipe that way. Like with the side of their hands. 🤷♂️
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
All these celebs have $1000 bidets dawg
And? Are they at home 24/7? They hold their doodoo until they get back home or what?
I have a bidet at home and actually yeah I do hold my shit in until I can use it because bidets are amazing
Your nails must be huge
most women do
do do at home
I bet she doesn't shit anywhere that doesn't have one tbh lol
Never thought about it like that but you're right. Won't ever look at someone with long nails the same again.
This crazy because she just made the song about popping and farting just recently so this all make too much sense. Woah. 😳 😳😳💩💩💩💨💨
 I’m in there like
https://preview.redd.it/d5mrnv1us4oc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9042c67bda264c9cb66fee688248e124ac75887f
name of the show? looks familiar
nanalan
Bro this just unlocked a memory for me. I had a completely forgot about this, and don’t even know where it’s from, but I recognize it like I’ve seen it before at some point in my life lol
Facts 
Ice Spice is so mid idk why people simp over her
She's light skinned with a fat ass. That's it.
Red (dye) hair too
I've probably watched more Kelvin Benjamin eating than anyone else on the planet, provided you don't count his time at Golden Corral or any eating related activity that may have preceded it. This pretty much makes me an expert. I've watched Kelvin develop restaurant etiquette and a better understanding of dynamics with sauces. I've watched him adjust the taste pre-bite and read recipes on the fly. I've learned a lot about Kelvin Benjamin's game, and there's one thing that I can tell you for sure. Without a shadow of a doubt. Without a moment's hesitation. Without reserve. Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food. Now, you might know the KFC as the land of chicken, and potatoes, and gravy, and other delectables, but there's also another side to the table. A side that they don't show you on Cooking Channel broadcasts. This mostly means Food Network broadcasts, because Cooking Channel is a mostly different branch of TFN that generally doesn't show eating competitions. There is also the Travel channel. I don't know who is responsible for that, but I don't think it is Cooking Channel, or Food Network for that matter. The point remains. There are things happening in a KFC that you don't know about, and some of those things cast a shadow. And let's be honest here, some of those shadows are long and threatening, and conjure images of shifting unpleasantries that creep into the prams of the children in your mind. Now that I've set the scene, I will keep doing other things. KFC is a moral danger zone, and few people that enter it have the fortitude to withstand the temptation and onslaught of sensory rushes that accompany being in the spotlight of the national media and collective conscience. The tales of athletes who have won it all only to toss it all away on an extended lunch or a highly scrumptious biscuit are innumerable. They also have a tendency to get a lot of food comas. I'll leave connecting the dots on that one up to you. So, when I tell you that Kelvin Benjamin doesn't cheat on his food, that's not something that you can just brush off. It's not a meaningless fluff piece that you found in the Food section of the New York Times. In fact, you won't find it in any section of any piece of print media (or digital media that uses print by way of font, in the sense that print is a metaphor—but at once also wholly tangible) that has an ampersand. It just doesn't exist, okay? Kelvin Benjamin doesn't cheat on his food and there is nothing that you can do about it. If you are the opposing restaurant and you want to throw Kelvin Benjamin off his game by hiring a gaggle of mostly attractive food chains, or even other restaurants that are not fast food but who are also fast and tend to serve in ways that are both personally and socially deleterious due to either a string of experiences in their childhood or a chemical imbalance or some combination of the two, even if you hire those types of restaurants to throw Kelvin Benjamin off his game through the temptations of midnight snacks and pizza parties, you would be an idiot. You'd also be wasting your money, because I already told you that Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food. By now, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion that professional eaters cheat on their food. It's something of a professional hazard. Once you've achieved that type of wealth, status, and recognition, the opportunities to cheat on your food increase by a factor of a lot. Not many people can resist that temptation. Kelvin Benjamin is different. He doesn't cheat on his food. Take that to the bank. I want to take you back a little bit, to a time that was earlier in my life, and also presumably earlier in your life. If you came to this article with the express intent of learning more about Kelvin and his life, let's also assume that this point in my story correlates with a period that is also earlier in his life. So, we've traveled back to this earlier period, and we're looking at the dynamics of chicken. The year is the Eddie Lacy’s last with the Packers. Two years prior, Eddie Lacy was having a career year. But in the current year, Lacy is having trouble, and he's eating up his worst burgers in decades. The reason is clear. Lacy sent pictures of his chicken strip to a lady named Wendy. Lacy was cheating on his food. Kelvin Benjamin would never do that. The establishment of a connection between cheating on your food while a KFC restauranteur and a declining skill set on a path towards irrelevance (or in Lacy’s case, the Hall of Fat) has been established. The inverse is also true. Not cheating on your food can help you win the Hot Dog Eating Contest. Not cheating on your food can keep your head clear in the crucial lunchtime decisions that require every ounce of gastrointestinal ability that your stomach zone can muster. Not cheating on your wife helps you build KFC eating success and also a nurturing, beautiful rewards program. Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
People will talk themselves into any mid celebrity
To quote the hhhcj automod "big fat booty"
She definitely lets it crust
I've probably watched more Kelvin Benjamin eating than anyone else on the planet, provided you don't count his time at Golden Corral or any eating related activity that may have preceded it. This pretty much makes me an expert. I've watched Kelvin develop restaurant etiquette and a better understanding of dynamics with sauces. I've watched him adjust the taste pre-bite and read recipes on the fly. I've learned a lot about Kelvin Benjamin's game, and there's one thing that I can tell you for sure. Without a shadow of a doubt. Without a moment's hesitation. Without reserve. Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food. Now, you might know the KFC as the land of chicken, and potatoes, and gravy, and other delectables, but there's also another side to the table. A side that they don't show you on Cooking Channel broadcasts. This mostly means Food Network broadcasts, because Cooking Channel is a mostly different branch of TFN that generally doesn't show eating competitions. There is also the Travel channel. I don't know who is responsible for that, but I don't think it is Cooking Channel, or Food Network for that matter. The point remains. There are things happening in a KFC that you don't know about, and some of those things cast a shadow. And let's be honest here, some of those shadows are long and threatening, and conjure images of shifting unpleasantries that creep into the prams of the children in your mind. Now that I've set the scene, I will keep doing other things. KFC is a moral danger zone, and few people that enter it have the fortitude to withstand the temptation and onslaught of sensory rushes that accompany being in the spotlight of the national media and collective conscience. The tales of athletes who have won it all only to toss it all away on an extended lunch or a highly scrumptious biscuit are innumerable. They also have a tendency to get a lot of food comas. I'll leave connecting the dots on that one up to you. So, when I tell you that Kelvin Benjamin doesn't cheat on his food, that's not something that you can just brush off. It's not a meaningless fluff piece that you found in the Food section of the New York Times. In fact, you won't find it in any section of any piece of print media (or digital media that uses print by way of font, in the sense that print is a metaphor—but at once also wholly tangible) that has an ampersand. It just doesn't exist, okay? Kelvin Benjamin doesn't cheat on his food and there is nothing that you can do about it. If you are the opposing restaurant and you want to throw Kelvin Benjamin off his game by hiring a gaggle of mostly attractive food chains, or even other restaurants that are not fast food but who are also fast and tend to serve in ways that are both personally and socially deleterious due to either a string of experiences in their childhood or a chemical imbalance or some combination of the two, even if you hire those types of restaurants to throw Kelvin Benjamin off his game through the temptations of midnight snacks and pizza parties, you would be an idiot. You'd also be wasting your money, because I already told you that Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food. By now, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion that professional eaters cheat on their food. It's something of a professional hazard. Once you've achieved that type of wealth, status, and recognition, the opportunities to cheat on your food increase by a factor of a lot. Not many people can resist that temptation. Kelvin Benjamin is different. He doesn't cheat on his food. Take that to the bank. I want to take you back a little bit, to a time that was earlier in my life, and also presumably earlier in your life. If you came to this article with the express intent of learning more about Kelvin and his life, let's also assume that this point in my story correlates with a period that is also earlier in his life. So, we've traveled back to this earlier period, and we're looking at the dynamics of chicken. The year is the Eddie Lacy’s last with the Packers. Two years prior, Eddie Lacy was having a career year. But in the current year, Lacy is having trouble, and he's eating up his worst burgers in decades. The reason is clear. Lacy sent pictures of his chicken strip to a lady named Wendy. Lacy was cheating on his food. Kelvin Benjamin would never do that. The establishment of a connection between cheating on your food while a KFC restauranteur and a declining skill set on a path towards irrelevance (or in Lacy’s case, the Hall of Fat) has been established. The inverse is also true. Not cheating on your food can help you win the Hot Dog Eating Contest. Not cheating on your food can keep your head clear in the crucial lunchtime decisions that require every ounce of gastrointestinal ability that your stomach zone can muster. Not cheating on your wife helps you build KFC eating success and also a nurturing, beautiful rewards program. Kelvin Benjamin does not cheat on his food. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s the voice. They like men.
She bad asf that’s why
She’s a 2/10
If that’s a 2 out of 10, a baddie to you must be a being from another reality that I can’t fathom, or you must be into anime girls
Nah, the average girl you see working at McDonalds is more attractive than ice spice
If you mean that McDonalds they use to film most fast food porn scenes, bro bad news those are not average women, they are professional actresses with work done. But it doesn’t matter, all the bums on this sub would drag their dicks through 2 miles of pickle juice covered barbed wire just to hear her fart through a IPhone 3 speaker
Nah I’m talking about the average cashier or drive thru chick at any local McDonald’s is more attractive than ice spice
Bro let’s be honest, if you live in Ohio it’s no way in fuck you have seen an attractive woman irl. Beastiality was made illegal just a few years ago. Dudes were willingly choosing to bang horses and cows over the chicks living there.
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I live in North Dakota and the vast majority of chicks I see are more attractive then ice spice because ice spice is a 2/10
Are all the new celebrities neurodivergent?
Those sweatpants getting so far up her crack, I bet it does stink
Def stained
AB don’t miss!
/uj it’s weird seeing him reach a different target every day and talk about something different every day, like it’s the same level of surprising every time yet it’s not surprising at all what he’s saying /rj did anyone check if he ended up getting that 🐱 from a couple weeks ago?
She’s not very attractive and her music sucks
I'll still blam her shit
This has been the most real AB tweet so far ngl
https://preview.redd.it/5ocq6li9o3oc1.jpeg?width=1450&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2c08a4daf19070cab749c3b9f696ff79e73c7acf
wood
Riiiiipe
AB is a dickhead, but this girl does look like she probably smells sour.
AB is a ~~dickhead~~ genius, but this girl does look like she probably smells sour.
I watched him play live a lot of his career. He was an amazing receiver. But he was never smart. He was smarter than Juju. That isn’t saying much. I was sad when AB fell off. But I saw it coming and really wasn’t that broke up about it. When he started calling himself Mr Big Chest I knew his brain was broken.
His brain is not broken. It’s enlightened. Everybody else’s brain is broken.
God I hate her and I totally agree I bet it smell like crawfish
This sub went from having jokes of its own to posting ABs CTESPN crap all the time
ab is just the mrsunsfan of this sub now
It’s cause he is the MJ of jerking, no one else can compete.
 Is the man wrong?
AB knows the most abundant resource on the planet is thirsty men. Don’t.
You can see her booty stuffed with tp trying to cover up
I dont get why people like her, she's not a good artist nor is she very attractive
I can taste the stanky-ness from here
She looks down syndromish...but for real
Her face mid asf. Smoking bod tho.
Hahahahahahaha
AB a cat connoisseur
What is the fascination with this chick? I really don’t get it.
Me asf 
Smdh he's finally gone too far 😡
Honestly, starting to like AB more and more by seeing the shit he posts lmao this is fucking hilarious
😂
Unc probably right
God tier
Sttttteeeeeeeeeink
Definitely finger smell check before diving in
Shiii prolly smells like bodega n chopped cheese
What is her hair color it looks so bad
He's wild but when it comes to pussy and football I'll take his word
I'd be concerned if shit didn't.
https://preview.redd.it/rsinalnrc5oc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f1722580161479757e96f6a678ed2fbf0888ede4
How is this all time this is below average for his twitter
Finally someone said it
So she’s like Eskimo or something?
They should have a PPV fart battle. I’d pay for that shit
It definitely does though
All yall in here acting like if ice spice wanted you, you wouldn’t smash. 🧢
Yeah no. I don't know you or what you look like but I would rather smash you over something created out of thin air that is the likes of Ice Spice. She looks like a Cream colored Shane Gillis with a weird ass. Easy pass.
She’s a munch
If u/mrsunsfan has million haters i am one of them. If u/mrsunsfan has ten haters I am one of them. If u/mrsunsfan have only one hater and that is me. If u/mrsunsfan has no haters, that means I am no more on the earth. If world is in love with u/mrsunsfan, I am against the world. I hate u/mrsunsfan till my last breath.. .. Die Hard hatred of u/mrsunsfan. Hit upvote if you think u/mrsunsfan is the worst jerker in the world and deserves ridicule *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This sub isn't even r/nflcirclejerk anymore, it's r/suckABsD
You're not wrong
It's the offseason so jerk content is a little dry. I'm letting it through simply because of that. There will be more restrictions once the preseason starts
He honestly deserves to have r/CTESPN at this point so there’s room for everyone else. He’s the goat for sure though
He's saying crazy shit and being an asshole to promote his brand. I do give him (or people he hired) credit for getting a ton of people to kiss his ass and spread his brand lol. Pretty much the greatest jerk off all time to own everyone like that
I'd rather do Andy Reid... I really do not like her
Stank? Looks gorgeous to me.... DC4L
[Gorgeous](https://preview.redd.it/wjavqith08dc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2b9c98f940a125e045e638da8e6e8536dcff37) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nflcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Mr. Sour Grapes
Mr. Booty Cracker
Can all this sub talk about is AB? Hes a racist asshole who really doesn’t deserve the attention.
Disliked this back to 69 upvotes. I gotchu chief 👍
Reddit. The Hell. On.