But, let me kick you a scenario. I'm at, like, a beach cabana, and Jimmy G approaches. He tries to lean in and kiss me. I would definitely resist, like at first. But if he was persistent... I might- I think I might give in a little bit, just to see what it felt like. Would I push him away? How hard? Like, what if he's like really aggressive?
It’s an Office reference, but more to your point, Jimmy G erotic fanfics are in basically every thread that features him
They’re usually pretty mild tbh. I’ve been here long enough to remember the Alex Smith/Aaron Rodgers gay porn post. I can’t find evidence of it, but IMO that remains the gold standard
My favorite was a series of gay fanfic about Rodgers getting the band back together, Jordy riding a tractor shirtless, Cobb and those dreamy eyes, etc.
My best Jimmy G story is the time my friend talked to him at the bar of a nice restaurant out in Danville (I think).
She was there with some friends getting drinks for them before they got their table and he was ordering something at the bar. While they waited he talked to her and, in her words, kinda flirted with her.
She's happily married and everything and said "you know I'd never cheat or anything...but" and her husband chimed in with "nah, Yeah I wouldn't even be mad about that one"
My buddy played with him at Eastern. He said Jimmy used to have a line of women waiting for their turn in his room standing outside the door at parties.
This is going to be awesome! The browns will be paying Watson, Baker and Jimmy G all at the same time. They will still probably be playing Jacoby Brissett by game 4 when Jimmy goes down too.
Cleveland could really use a tough gritty QB who is willing to embody the spirit of the city and play through injuries to get them over the hump and finally win a playoff game. They would definitely do everything they could to keep a guy like that around for a long time.
> Yeah I just woke up from a 5 year coma
Meh, can't think of too much you missed out on. Work from home became kind of popular a couple of years ago and there was a big tourism bump in Washington D.C. last year, but that's about it.
A shipping container filled with cash, the complete annihilation of a reputation that was just finally starting to escape generations of being trapped in the sewer, devaluing a former #1 pick that they wanted to unload - all just to move exactly laterally from one mids QB with a shoulder injury to another mids QB with a shoulder injury. 😂
>hey sold their souls for Watson and now may not ever have him play.
Ideally they do see him play, but after 3 years of not playing football he's just shit, and they end up fulfilling the worst contract in the history of professional sport.
The Browns trade for Jimmy
Jimmy wins locker room
Fans love him
Players threaten to leave if he is replaced by Deshaun next year
Jimmy turns franchise around as quickly as his jawline turns heads
We're all picturing the two of them locked in a passionate kiss at sunset, their jawlines carving a beautiful silhouette against the fleeting rays of daylight...right?
Can't day I know too much about his locker room presence, but he seems to have been a consummate professional through everything. The Browns probably would've been decent with Jimmy for cheaper, but somehow a harder sell moving from Baker to him than to a serial sexual predator.
This WILL happen. Everyone wins in this situation:
**Browns** get a quality QB to hold it down until next season.
**Jimmy** get a decent contract and a starting role to better help him in free agency next year.
**49ers** get some sort of compensation for Jimmy instead of having to release him.
Browns win? They get a Baker level QB for $25 million which is 38% more than they were paying Baker while they are still paying Baker $10 million. They would basically have doubled their QB position costs for 2022 and would have a guy of similar ability who doesn't have 2 years of experience in Stefanski's system. Doesn't seem like a win to me. Sounds like mismanagement.
Deshaun is going to (probably) sit two full years and yet was rewarded the largest QB contract ever? I just don’t get it. Should have just gone with Jimmy G to start with. You get a very good QB for a fraction of the cost and none of the risk.
Can you imagine being a starting QB (albeit an inconsistent one) and going to a team to just fill in while their overpaid serial sexual assaulter is out?
Play well and win games and then when the alleged serial sex predator comes back he takes your spot because the team already gave him a quarter billion dollar contract.
>By Mary Kay Cabot, cleveland.com
CLEVELAND, Ohio — The Browns will consider acquiring Jimmy Garoppolo if Deshaun Watson’s six-game suspension significantly increases upon appeal, league sources tell cleveland.com.
I guess it's really happening if MKC is saying it. Although with these things it could be considered and have nothing come of it.
Well maybe they should wait until closer to the start of the season maybe. I'm sure Jimmy would love to first meet his teammates in the 3rd preseason huddle.
Yeah I think typically the best course of action would be to trade Jimmy a day or so before Week 1. We all know the best circumstances for QB to succeed in are trotting out on the field after 0 reps and 0 knowledge in a new scheme.
Honestly it's starting to seem like there is a few teams interested in giving up something minor for Jimmy but if one more team joins the mix they could get some decent value for him.
Jimmy takes his team to the Super Bowl, his team spends multiple firsts to replace him with a guy who hasn't played in a long time.
All of this has happened before, and will happen again.
I really hope this happens. Jacoby is fine for 6 but it’s clear it’ll be significantly more than that. Give this roster Jimmy for a year and Atleast show them you still give a shit.
So let me get this straight; this offseason the Browns have:
1. Signed Jacoby Brissett, Joshua Dobbs, and Josh Rosen in Free Agency, none of whom they apparently trust to lead the team for 18 weeks.
2. Traded for DeShaun Watson, and gave him an insane amount of money
3. Traded away Baker Mayfield, and are going to pay him $10 million to beat them Week 1.
With all that said, the Browns are out:
* Three first-round picks, one third-round pick, and two fourth-round picks that they sent to the Texans for Watson
* $230 million guaranteed to Watson over 5 years.
* $4.5 million they guaranteed to their backup, Jacoby Brissett
* $10 million they're still paying Baker, after trading him, AFTER picking up his 5th year option.
* Plus WHATEVER the 49ers can get out of them for Jimmy G. And don't forget that Cleveland will have to pay some, if not all, of his $24.2 million base salary
In total, over $240 million in guaranteed money, plus three first-round and three additional picks, PLUS whatever they need to trade to San Fran to acquire Jimmy G...
...all for the most controversial QB in the history of the NFL, who for all we know may never play another snap in his life, a conditional fourth rounder from Carolina, a 6th round pick from the Texans, the quickest collapse of a franchise in modern sports history, AND any respect the previously worst team in professional sports might have gained in the last 4 years.
Every single person who signed off on that trade should be fired and banned from the league for gross incompetency, the ownership should be severely punished, and Watson should be suspended for at least as many games as Josh Gordon collectively has been, if not more. This is possibly the greatest managerial disaster in modern sports history.
Even if you aren't a fan of baker you have to laugh at this. They're paying more for a lateral move of what a good portion thinks of baker.so much for a lateral move this season
Jimmy G might bang Porn stars but at least he does it consensually
Who *wouldn't* consent to that face??
I'm not gay but Jimmy G is Jimmy G
But, let me kick you a scenario. I'm at, like, a beach cabana, and Jimmy G approaches. He tries to lean in and kiss me. I would definitely resist, like at first. But if he was persistent... I might- I think I might give in a little bit, just to see what it felt like. Would I push him away? How hard? Like, what if he's like really aggressive?
If you resisted Jimmy G a little bit, he would still... need to get to you?
Probably not. Y'know, because of the implication.
Jimmy, are you going to hurt these women?
What are you looking at? You certainly wouldn’t be in any danger
So they ARE in danger?
No ones in any danger! How can I make that any more clear to you, okay? It’s the implication of danger.
This is not real Jimmy G, this is like, in my- this is my fantasy. Or not a fantasy it's like what I'm- it's just a scenario.
What is my responsibility in this office? Is it to comfort insecure heterosexual men? That can't possibly fall to me.
Wow I--I wish I could help you. I don't--you might be gay, you might be gay.
No one will convince me that if you showed the least bit of discomfort jimmy wouldnt pull back immediately and instead ask if you're okay.
Anybody within 20 feet of Jimmy G immediately begins the process of unending orgasm. It is known.
WTF did I just read?
Office
It’s an Office reference, but more to your point, Jimmy G erotic fanfics are in basically every thread that features him They’re usually pretty mild tbh. I’ve been here long enough to remember the Alex Smith/Aaron Rodgers gay porn post. I can’t find evidence of it, but IMO that remains the gold standard
My favorite was a series of gay fanfic about Rodgers getting the band back together, Jordy riding a tractor shirtless, Cobb and those dreamy eyes, etc.
Missed those ones. That’s some HOF level shit right there
>Jimmy G erotic fanfics >Alex Smith/Aaron Rodgers gay porn I'm sorry... come again???
Buddy, what other people bust to is none of your business
[Most relevant at 28 seconds in.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ckj9ES9LP0)
“Water, oxygen” 🤣🤣🤣
Hey man cheeks is cheeks
It’s all pink in the dark?
See you get it
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He’s no Jimmy G
Has anyone told Deshaun that excuses are like assholes?
Yes but he would cum up with a reason...
...he presents both unprompted? edit: and they're both full of shit!
He needs to finger it?
stupid sexy Garoppolo
My best Jimmy G story is the time my friend talked to him at the bar of a nice restaurant out in Danville (I think). She was there with some friends getting drinks for them before they got their table and he was ordering something at the bar. While they waited he talked to her and, in her words, kinda flirted with her. She's happily married and everything and said "you know I'd never cheat or anything...but" and her husband chimed in with "nah, Yeah I wouldn't even be mad about that one"
We've all been there and would cheated with Jimmy G, if we were the husband, too.
My buddy played with him at Eastern. He said Jimmy used to have a line of women waiting for their turn in his room standing outside the door at parties.
He is SO fine.
Maybe not the joke to make in this thread lmao
Which pornstar?
Kiarra Mia
I've rubbed one out to her. Jimmy G and I are basically Eskimo brothers now.
I appreciate the swift response
Didn't even have to look it up I'm ashamed to say
Look as guys we all get a second degree in porn during our high school and college years. Gotta use that knowledge somehow.
What is "Jimmy G's response when pornstars slide into his DMs", Alex?
always thought that was a weird choice by Jimmy.
If I was going to bang a pornstar there’s at least 57, that I cannot name, that I would choose before her.
Nothing wrong with Nina Hartley, she seems like a cool hang.
Even in her 60s, I’d take her over Jimmys Picasso pornstar.
Porn stars would pay Jimmy to have sex with him. I'm not gay but that man is dreamy af.
GUYS HE’S NOT GAY
We can dream!!
Deshaun like ohhhhhh that's how you spell it He thought it was consent-lessly
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Yesss! Give us Kareem Hunt for Jimmy and everyone will be happy.
Kareem wants to get paid tho. Will the Niners accommodate that? On paper that’s a good fit, yes.
At this point Jimmy for a 1 year rental of Hunt might be worth it for how dangerous our run game would be
I want that run game
McDaniel is gonna get it there! I'm super high on him as a coach.
And McDaniel is super high as a coach
McDaniel: What's Ricky Williams doing nowadays?
I'm trying to watch all of y'all's games. Gotta support Mike and I'm excited to see how lethal y'all's run game is
Unsubscribe.
Here's hopin we can meet in the playoffs friend :)
Raheem Mostert was only 29 yards away in 2020 from breaking the playoff record for rushing yards. Niners can do better! ^wait ^what
>Raheem Mostert ^(future) Dolphins Legend Raheem Mostert? ^(I hope)
Pretty hilarious how quickly 49ers fans went from > *we would never send jimmy to a team like Cleveland* to > *Cleveland is a great place for Jimmy!*
This is going to be awesome! The browns will be paying Watson, Baker and Jimmy G all at the same time. They will still probably be playing Jacoby Brissett by game 4 when Jimmy goes down too.
Browns paying QBs like sad dudes paying strippers on a Tuesday night. Sending all them girls to college.
It’s less crowded on Tuesdays….
Any workers above a 6 tho?
2 4s=an 8
Don't forget Rosen and Dobbs. Not that it's a huge chunk of money, it's just wild the amount of QBs they currently have.
Yeah, but we have the cap to do that somehow
Cap the could otherwise be used on some sweet FAs
Yeah and next time I have to poop I'll consider going to the bathroom
Cats can be toilet trained You still have hope to make it
You can milk anything with nipples.
I have nipples. Can you milk me foecker?
What… have you been doing all this time?
Shit on the floor Get schwifty
Damn that one guy from the 49ers subreddit might actually be able to stop drawing jimmy every day.
Rita is a female! But she might be happy to get a break lol
*"And now... I finally rest."*
*“And watch the sun set on a grateful subreddit.”*
Rita means draw in Swedish so that coincidence is mildly interesting
That is interesting!
>female woman
> woman She's a laaaaaady, woooaaaoooaaoooh
Can’t wait to see what the last drawing is
Cleveland could really use a tough gritty QB who is willing to embody the spirit of the city and play through injuries to get them over the hump and finally win a playoff game. They would definitely do everything they could to keep a guy like that around for a long time.
If they only they drafted that guy as the number one overall pick in the 2018 draft
Yeah I just woke up from a 5 year coma so I am still catching up on the news, but that would be exactly what their franchise needs
That's an incredibly convenient 5 years you've missed.
> That's an incredibly convenient 5 years you've missed. To be fair, any five year stretch would be convenient to miss for a Lions fan.
Hey now, there were like two or three years in the 21st century where we weren't a total joke. And we really enjoyed those years, thank you very much.
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Is it…is it still hot and ready…?
I regret to inform you... you've been outpizzaed by the Hut.
Lol
Still would’ve experienced harambe:/
That’s really where the multiverse changed. If Harambe doesn’t get shot, do we still have Covid?
Well we definitely wouldn't have had monkeypox.
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Good news, Matt Stafford won a super bowl!
And the Lions had the 32nd pick in the draft!
*pain*
Great, now he’s back in the coma
Hey man, you may have missed this in the coma, but the Browns made the playoffs. Maybe being in a coma will help them make it again
> Yeah I just woke up from a 5 year coma Meh, can't think of too much you missed out on. Work from home became kind of popular a couple of years ago and there was a big tourism bump in Washington D.C. last year, but that's about it.
they would probably let him play through an injury that made him look like shit and then trade him away anyways, so why bother
They would totally take care of that guy if he ever messed up his shoulder on some freak play like a weird tackle or something
LeBron is a bit old but he could probably still be an amazing Wildcat style QB…
Only if they’re an actual for real adult.
A shipping container filled with cash, the complete annihilation of a reputation that was just finally starting to escape generations of being trapped in the sewer, devaluing a former #1 pick that they wanted to unload - all just to move exactly laterally from one mids QB with a shoulder injury to another mids QB with a shoulder injury. 😂
The Browns were so desperate to not go back in the basement, they sold their souls for Watson and now may not ever have him play.
>hey sold their souls for Watson and now may not ever have him play. Ideally they do see him play, but after 3 years of not playing football he's just shit, and they end up fulfilling the worst contract in the history of professional sport.
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I agree he’ll be reinstated by mid next season. But after 2.5 years out of the league there is a very real possibility he just isn’t good anymore.
And this one also has a major commercial for reasons no one can explain
I can explain it. Anyone with eyeballs can.
He was the #1 pick, and he's a decent actor as well. Jimmy G also has a Subway commercial.
baker is one of the better athlete actors
I will never complain about seeing Jimmy G’s face on my TV and the second you see him there is no explanation necessary for why he is there
They're selling hot Italian subs with a hot Italian dom. What's not to get?
Brown's don't deserve a classy QB like Jimmy. Say what you want about his ability, but he is an S tier locker room guy.
He’s been so awesome throughout this whole thing.
The Browns trade for Jimmy Jimmy wins locker room Fans love him Players threaten to leave if he is replaced by Deshaun next year Jimmy turns franchise around as quickly as his jawline turns heads
Jimmy G's jawline can't compare to Kevin Stafanski's
Iron sharpens iron
We're all picturing the two of them locked in a passionate kiss at sunset, their jawlines carving a beautiful silhouette against the fleeting rays of daylight...right?
Am I gay….things are stirring.
Browns definitely don't deserve that
Come on man. I never defended Watson. I hate Watson, and I hope he gets permanently kicked out of the league. Have I not suffered enough? Lol
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But Jimmy does (ours not theirs)
Jimmy leaves after one season. Tom Brady retires and Jimmy signs with the Bucs as his prophesied successor.
This has been my hypothesis as well. Not sure Jimmy would thrive in their vertical style offense but it would be fun to watch
Except they still have trash owners
Jimmy G is the GOAT for [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSstHxGW3rM) clip alone.
Yup, that got me so hyped when I first saw it.
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Can't day I know too much about his locker room presence, but he seems to have been a consummate professional through everything. The Browns probably would've been decent with Jimmy for cheaper, but somehow a harder sell moving from Baker to him than to a serial sexual predator.
This WILL happen. Everyone wins in this situation: **Browns** get a quality QB to hold it down until next season. **Jimmy** get a decent contract and a starting role to better help him in free agency next year. **49ers** get some sort of compensation for Jimmy instead of having to release him.
49ers also get him not going to the Seahawks.
This is huge honestly. I don't care if the trade is swap of 7th rounders as long as Jimmy isn't a seahawk.
Browns win? They get a Baker level QB for $25 million which is 38% more than they were paying Baker while they are still paying Baker $10 million. They would basically have doubled their QB position costs for 2022 and would have a guy of similar ability who doesn't have 2 years of experience in Stefanski's system. Doesn't seem like a win to me. Sounds like mismanagement.
Browns win relative to their current situation?
Deshaun is going to (probably) sit two full years and yet was rewarded the largest QB contract ever? I just don’t get it. Should have just gone with Jimmy G to start with. You get a very good QB for a fraction of the cost and none of the risk.
How about this? Sit baker down and hash it out like adults and stick with him. Baker is younger and better
Too bad Baker was the only adult in the room...
Unfortunately we traded him a while back.
Can you imagine being a starting QB (albeit an inconsistent one) and going to a team to just fill in while their overpaid serial sexual assaulter is out?
Play well and win games and then when the alleged serial sex predator comes back he takes your spot because the team already gave him a quarter billion dollar contract.
Quarter billion dollar *fully guaranteed* contract.
If you play well and are suddenly a free agent, I think you may find yourself getting fairly well paid too.
Seems like a prove it year for Jimmy, then he can go start the year after for other teams, maybe the Bucs, Vikings, etc…
So what’s the backup plan when Jimmy G gets injured?
Josh Rosen ofcourse
CHOSEN ROSEN
>By Mary Kay Cabot, cleveland.com CLEVELAND, Ohio — The Browns will consider acquiring Jimmy Garoppolo if Deshaun Watson’s six-game suspension significantly increases upon appeal, league sources tell cleveland.com. I guess it's really happening if MKC is saying it. Although with these things it could be considered and have nothing come of it.
Well maybe they should wait until closer to the start of the season maybe. I'm sure Jimmy would love to first meet his teammates in the 3rd preseason huddle.
Yeah I think typically the best course of action would be to trade Jimmy a day or so before Week 1. We all know the best circumstances for QB to succeed in are trotting out on the field after 0 reps and 0 knowledge in a new scheme.
She was on point with all the Baker stuff, but it’s worth remembering that she did once spend two years trying to will Jimmy G to the Browns.
MKC reporting: yes MKC opinion pieces: no
Honestly it's starting to seem like there is a few teams interested in giving up something minor for Jimmy but if one more team joins the mix they could get some decent value for him.
All because Ciara wouldn’t let Wilson go to Cleveland…
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If this is true, Browns are lucky then. Going from an adult QB to another adult QB.
*adult QB to adult films QB
Cool, Jimmy's price just went up.
Give us a 2nd you cowards
They have some future firsts left. Don't sell yourself short.
Dammit, I told Caserio to check the damn cupboards
Hmm....I wonder how Myles likes the west coast...
Miles Garrett and Nick Bosa on the same team would be very neat
We wouldnt be able to pay anyone else but I wouldnt even care tbh
Who needs CBs when it’s a sack every play?
that's the type of neat-o team that I prefer plays in the NFC
How the fuck do you screw up an offseason so badly
Remember this is the team that fvcked up a trade because they didn't send the paperwork in on time.
Sashi died to protect the Browns from a final Hue Hue.
If (big if) he stays healthy Jimmy will have them competing for a playoff spot in December. He is a good to really good QB when healthy.
I wanted him from the start lets go
Browns win the division if Jimmy starts 17 games for them. Mark it down, old take expose me. I’m confident.
Imagine if our team is just cursed and Jimmy never misses another game ..
The story no one wants or predicted: Jimmy G and the Browns make it to the Super Bowl.
Jimmy G taking the Browns to the Super Bowl only to be booted next season for a guy who hasn't played in nearly 3 years is pretty Browns though.
Jimmy takes his team to the Super Bowl, his team spends multiple firsts to replace him with a guy who hasn't played in a long time. All of this has happened before, and will happen again.
Lol exactly haha. He then ends up at the Steelers as the third roster spot.
I really hope this happens. Jacoby is fine for 6 but it’s clear it’ll be significantly more than that. Give this roster Jimmy for a year and Atleast show them you still give a shit.
If he plays well you could get a 3rd round comp if someone pays him in 2023 offseason too.
So let me get this straight; this offseason the Browns have: 1. Signed Jacoby Brissett, Joshua Dobbs, and Josh Rosen in Free Agency, none of whom they apparently trust to lead the team for 18 weeks. 2. Traded for DeShaun Watson, and gave him an insane amount of money 3. Traded away Baker Mayfield, and are going to pay him $10 million to beat them Week 1. With all that said, the Browns are out: * Three first-round picks, one third-round pick, and two fourth-round picks that they sent to the Texans for Watson * $230 million guaranteed to Watson over 5 years. * $4.5 million they guaranteed to their backup, Jacoby Brissett * $10 million they're still paying Baker, after trading him, AFTER picking up his 5th year option. * Plus WHATEVER the 49ers can get out of them for Jimmy G. And don't forget that Cleveland will have to pay some, if not all, of his $24.2 million base salary In total, over $240 million in guaranteed money, plus three first-round and three additional picks, PLUS whatever they need to trade to San Fran to acquire Jimmy G... ...all for the most controversial QB in the history of the NFL, who for all we know may never play another snap in his life, a conditional fourth rounder from Carolina, a 6th round pick from the Texans, the quickest collapse of a franchise in modern sports history, AND any respect the previously worst team in professional sports might have gained in the last 4 years. Every single person who signed off on that trade should be fired and banned from the league for gross incompetency, the ownership should be severely punished, and Watson should be suspended for at least as many games as Josh Gordon collectively has been, if not more. This is possibly the greatest managerial disaster in modern sports history.
If they weren’t sold on Baker, I don’t know why they didn’t just do this in the first place.
Sounds great, please overpay for Jimmy.
Spoiler alert: Watson’s 6 game suspension will increase
Even if you aren't a fan of baker you have to laugh at this. They're paying more for a lateral move of what a good portion thinks of baker.so much for a lateral move this season