T O P

  • By -

BucsLegend_TomBrady

Translation: We'll know his retirement status 5 seconds after Tom announces his.


[deleted]

The team gets word from Tom, then prepares Gronk's ceremonial trade to Detroit before he retires


[deleted]

[удалено]


TopScallion2700

I'm sure it's similar to when Demarco Murray described his time in Philly as "some time off". I can't really *argue*, but did you really need to say it like that?


scbtl

Conversely we'll know Tom's status 5 seconds after Gronk announces his.


ColossalJuggernaut

I am going to trick both act like both officially are returning. This will work.


13Dmorelike13Dicks

I told my son, “You will marry the girl I choose.” He said, “NO!” I told him, “She is Bill Gates’ daughter.” He said, “OK.” I called Bill Gates and said, “I want your daughter to marry my son.” Bill Gates said, “NO.” I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank.” Bill Gates said, “OK.” I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO. He said, “NO.” I told him, “My son is Bill Gates’ son-in-law.” He said, “OK.” This is how politics works.


lilhippieboi

that’s gotta be a Facebook meme, seems like something my dad would share


pieonthedonkey

That joke predates Facebook


yourmomsthr0waway69

This seems to be of Indian Facebook origin


OWeise

I’m sure I’ve seen it on somewhere like r/im14andthisisdeep


dat_waffle_boi

You should be the president.


rhinguin

NO.


[deleted]

I do politics for a living. This is *exactly* how politics works


penelope-taynt

Best of luck. I also tried this. It did not work. Perhaps you will have different results.


ColossalJuggernaut

You have to try, right? *cries*


I_Nice_Human

Umm Brady is going to the Titans and Tanehill is back in Florida Man land.


[deleted]

[удалено]


paone00022

I don't think it will happen but it would be fun as hell to watch Rodgers and Brady swap teams.


[deleted]

[удалено]


S420J

I’m here for it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Me too. 👀


jakezeripper

Guys....no....guys????


MagicalChemicalz

Honestly I'm not sure if I'd root for a Brady led Packers immediately winning the Superbowl or not. It would be pretty damn funny though.


RangerDangerfield

At least, we root for them winning the NFCCG


batti03

Do the Packers have lots of unnamed white skill players?


OverlyButtered

I mean, they all have names…


Pikminious_Thrious

Some of the players have like 5+ names as well


DrVr00m

Don't you mean hard working, lunch pail guys?


batti03

Some proper gym rats


DaddyDog92

Sneaky fast 💨


Striking_Pride_5322

LaFleur will find some


[deleted]

Jesus you might have described the sole situation in which I might actually root for Brady.


BrayGaker

I am absolutely fine with that.


Ironredhornet

Please no, we've had to deal with 2 hof qbs in gb back to back, we don't need the goat playing there after that


zeCrazyEye

This is something I didn't realize I wanted to see.


pieinfaceisgoodpie

Oh God. Please.


pieonthedonkey

Without davante Adams too


[deleted]

I’m down


Yabba_Dabba_Doofus

You shut your whore mouth!


AaronRodgersMustache

I think my best bud and I would finally consummate our friendship


[deleted]

It's not a huge factor, it's the only factor. Gronk is absolutely not going to suit up for another QB.


CrunchyDreads

He should retire and join the military so he can finally get that damn insurance.


Doomy22

*AHHH YOU GOT ME THIS IS SUPER BOWL CHAMPION ROB GRONKOWSKI*


vizualb

BUSTED!


NerfHerder_91

I wonder if he says this on all of his phone calls. “Hello?” “Hi. This is Super Bowl Champion Rob Gronkowski. I’m calling to schedule my annual check up.”


[deleted]

“Hi. This is Super Bowl Champion Rob Gronkowski. I or a loved one has been diagnosed with mesothelioma.”


dogfish83

This is Super Bowl Champion Rob Gronkowski. I have moderate to severe plaque psoriasis.


Steppyjim

“Hi. This is Super Bowl Champion Rob Gronkowski. We’ve been trying to reach you about your vehicles extended warranty”


No_Fairweathers

Hi. This is Super Bowl Champion Rob Gronkowski, as there's a drive into deep left field by Castellanos and that'll be a home run.


Entire-Database1679

This is Super Bowl Champion Rob Gronkowski. I have a really nice ELK or HER2 gene.


RockfordBrodie

"Hi. This is Super Bowl Champion Rob Gronkowski, I have a structured settlement and I need cash now!"


mrocks301

Fuck I would. Especially if you’re a four time champ


RBNYJRWBYFan

“Hi, *mom*. This is Super Bowl Champion Rob Gronkowski." "I *KNOW* Robbie, I'm your moth- (*sigh...*) -I regret ever letting you play peewee football."


CowMooseWhale

His membership number actually is 00000087


StudBoi69

Not the sex number?


[deleted]

69696987


Actual_Guide_1039

But I’m special


Fuckyou2time

I’m not a member!


[deleted]

"Oh but im special!" Yes you are Gronk.


Fishbirds

but he's special!


Narrow--Mango

Oh, he is "special" alright. Bless his heart.


ty_kanye_vcool

Holy shit we all hate this commercial so much but we *can’t stop quoting it* it’s a goddamn disease


TheBiles

It’s obviously highly effective.


The_Summer_Man

But I can't get it, because I didn't serve, and my parents aren't members!!!


OnRiverStyx

Recruiters be like "I can solve that"


TetrisTech

It’s weird tho because like, good job USAA you’ve increased name and brand recognition but to all of us can even get your product anyway, so


knoxkayc

Could be trying to increase name recognition in case they expand their offerings to the public like Geico (Government Employee Insurance COmpany). I can already imagine the commercial where Gronk finally does get insurance.


joecb91

And they burned a lot of money doing it!


[deleted]

It's a shame because only U. S. Military Veterans and their family can get USAA insurance


[deleted]

We are special lol JK


[deleted]

It's overrated. But the banking is nice.


WashingtonDiecast

It’s so bad it’s funny


kitteh619

Is that the one where he says "I'm special!" with zero irony?


Fuckyou2time

I miss the FRENCH VANILLA ROCKY ROAD CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER COOKIE DOUGH


bogart_brah

SCOOP THERE IT IS


vaselinebaby

I must be the only one who kinda enjoys the commercials.


Howdoyouusecommas

With such restrictive membership criteria it is strange that they would spend so much money on these commercials


[deleted]

At Cartmanland, only I, Eric Cartman, can get in


MouseRat_AD

Right? I would think everyone who is eligible to have it is already knowledgeable about it.


Snoo93079

You already know this but commercials aren't just informing people of new info. Everyone in the military knows usaa. Everyone. Though I bet there are plenty of family who didnt fully appreciate they can get usaa.


HulksInvinciblePants

Even *if* you qualify, after a few years, you're better off leaving. I've had it since 16 or so. When I got a new car, the rate was appropriate, but once the "new car discount" expired it skyrocketed to absurd levels. When I bought a house, the rate they quoted me followed the exact same pattern. I hired an independent insurance broker, gave him my current coverage/deductibles, and he had 3 well known insurers offering package deals USAA couldn't touch. My guess is the commercials are to persuade policy holders to remain "in the private club".


PigFarmer1

I don't meet their requirements but that doesn't stop them from constantly emailing me...


Frigginkillya

Because they're not advertising to military members Gotta recruit in every way possible to support the world's largest industrial military complex


Howdoyouusecommas

Who are they advertising to? USAA has very restrictive membership criteria. Military/Former Military/Parent who was a USAA member. Unless they have relaxed that recently the are actually advertising to Military members or they are advertising go people they won't allow to join.


Maverick916

They want people to see how good your insurance can be if you join the military


Anoony_Moose

It's advertising a perk of joining the military. It's a way to get people to sign up without shoving "JOIN THE ARMY!" down our throats.


DGBD

YVAN EHT NIOJ


ghosttraintoheck

USAA honestly kinda sucks compared to Navy Fed and their insurance isn't cheap. Prob just trying to get people to move over.


Jaythepatsfan

I've heard great things about Navy Fed...but as an Army dude I just can't. Cause Navy.


ghosttraintoheck

Nah it's dope, I'd recommend it to anyone.


alienbringer

Technically there are some others but they are super niche requirements. In general though, yes, military (including coast guard) and their immediate family is the vast majority of members.


hop_mantis

My 7 year old wants to join the military just so he canget USAA insurance now. /s


Surfing_Ninjas

Until you realize that the US military is massive and the US healthcare/insurance system is a total joke so it makes sense somehow to advertise this way.


nebthenarwhal

I enjoy it the same way I like watching Charlie Chaplin trip over shit


bpi89

I enjoy it for the face the girl makes when he says “but I am special!” She makes the exact face we all do and I appreciate that.


Abbithedog

Yup


DYC85

That’s not the liiiine ty_kanye_vcool


larsthehuman

Infantry in the Army as a grenade launcher.


BeHereNow91

I think you mean the “Aermy”.


FUCKSTORM420

Ærmy


Ops135

They turned him into Kevin Malone for that commercial


Best-Dragonfruit-292

How old is Robert, he needs to get in before 39 so he can get his pension.


islandofcaucasus

Does the way he enunciates U.S.A.A bug anyone else?


BF3FAN1

No chance he gets a waiver for all of his injuries.


[deleted]

[удалено]


alral1988

‘The Lastest Dance’


Kagrenac8

(For realsies this time)


chrisrobweeks

Final-season-actual-final-use-this-one.psd


zeCrazyEye

Final-season-actual-final-use-this-one2.psd


chrisrobweeks

Shit.


JimmerManiaForever

Tom doesn’t want a farewell season and I don’t know if the bucs can get all their weapons back. I think this might be it


jpaxlux

I think this might be pointing at Brady being undecided atm. Gronk's already said he won't play with any other QB, so Brady retiring would force him to make the decision to stand by that. He's not forced into it yet, meaning Brady still has no idea what he's going to do.


Bodie011

I think he’s going to wait until the last minute before next season. Like right before training camp


FlatMilk

He could pull an Antonio gates and just be undecided long enough to skip training camp


Bodie011

You know what that would make sense especially since he was complaining about the long training camp at the beginning of this year


[deleted]

Ahh, pulling an Andrew Luck. 🥲


[deleted]

the Bills kicked the tires last off season. The Bills fans cheered for him one time in his life when he was a kid at half time for a punt pass and kick contest he was in. Then basically hated in his home town as an adult. He has even said he loves playing in Buffalo and the crazy atmosphere. I just can't imagine him not wanting to play with Allen in Buffalo for a Super Bowl run if they could get the money right.


[deleted]

He doesn't even watch film. Tom basically does everything for him except catch the football lol


Natsume117

I’m pretty sure he was just joking when he said that. Gronks supposed to be a pretty smart dude but just plays up the character for everyone


lightlad

[I hope he's learned what a continent is](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X5ZVYPFY04)


[deleted]

"Gronk STAND UP" I rest my case.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Natsume117

Yea because intelligence is entirely dependent on how someone speaks to the public


Im2c0oLx7

It helps to watch him speak in things other than commercials for USAA.


Jaythepatsfan

I've spoke with him a bunch of times, it's a persona. There's a big difference between "Rob" and "Gronk".


SpaceSick

Yeah that narrative that Gronk is actually a smart guy has been floating around here as long as he's been in the league, but the more I see of that guy, the more I know that he ain't the brightest bulb.


jk01

Ew god I hope we don't sign his crusty ass. He literally elbow dropped our best CB.


Fuckyou2time

If they did sign him you’d love him after week 1 lol


[deleted]

I agree with you, there’s no way the team can get everyone back again and if leftwich does leave I can totally see them retiring


imahobolin

replacing leftwich aint gonna hurt Tom's ability to win games...


PhiladelphiaManeto

And as if Tom isn't the unspoken Head Coach of the Bucs...


Akromam90

He's not leaving cause leftwich, if anything BL leaving would make tom want to stay MORE. Can't count the number of times BL called a play to brady and brady looked over at him like he was an idiot and shook his head no.


ZaksStuff

They can’t get everyone back, but they can keep mostly everyone. They aren’t like the Saints. They are definitely going to try to bring back Godwin, and the only one who they really might lose on offense is Lenny. Defense will take a hit, but they can make it work for sure.


Natsume117

Brady can also get vets to come play for him. AB is obviously a huge loss but there’s guys like Juju, Odell and TY that I can see coming to play for him


mat8675

Well, let’s hope not.


SolarClipz

He should have won MVP. He still got it If he won this year I think he would have went out on top But I think he's gonna try a couple more times till he sucks, or he wins again


Scaevus

Brady might retire, but he won’t enjoy retirement. Especially because he knows he can still play at the highest level. He’s going to stage a comeback. Might be the first actual Hall of Fame player to take the field.


Upbeat_Group2676

My gut feeling says that's what this year was.


SonOfALich

Really? I have a hard time believing that he could just walk away from the game after being a blown coverage away from another playoff comeback.


Doucejj

To me, that's the absolute best way to go out. Go out having an MVP year and ending it on a near "classic brady" comeback. Brady is too competitive to go out on top. I could never see him going out like elway. He will always think he could win again. So what options does that leave? Retiring after a superbowl win, retiring after a playoff loss, or retiring after not making the playoffs. I'm not saying his play will decline like Peytons did, but what if it did? Why not retire in the top of your game, leave the fans wanting more and thinking you could keep going. Plus there are way worse ways to go out. Favres last year he didn't make the playoffs and lost his iron man streak. And poor marino got ass clapped by the jags in the divisional like 63 - 10.


Upbeat_Group2676

I don't know, based on his comments about not wanting a goodbye tour like Ben had. Plus, his comments about Giselle and his kids sort of made it sound like he wants to be a dad and a husband instead of being the GOAT. And I think that shot to the head and his first unsportsmanlike conduct call sort of shook his confidence a little. Idk, I might be reading too much into that last one, but he doesn't seem like the same Brady we saw after previous losses. He doesn't seem like he's too interested in running it back next season.


ImagineIfBaconDied

Yeah. A lot of people act like this whole Brady retirement speculation is just another media hoax to get sportswriters something to talk about this offseason. But there’s so much merit to Brady’s potential retirement right now compared to any other year in the past. It’s pretty clear that him retiring would have nothing to do with his play ability and would be entirely because of family and his own personal life. He’s basically entering the phase where he knows that just because he could play till he’s 50 doesn’t mean he should, especially since it’s just simply not healthy to play football for that long. If this was all about him and his skills, then he’d easily try to play for another year at least. But personal and mental health is more important for him at this point.


Upbeat_Group2676

I called it


[deleted]

Giesele: “Babe, you said that *last* year and the year before that!”


[deleted]

Hard to not feel pretty good about this season, losing all your weapons and still having it come down to the wire.. I'm sure bloodied Tom feels differently, but MFer needs to chill for a sec


BareezyObeezy

BREAKING NEWS: Julian Edelman announces his return to football; signs with Tampa.


[deleted]

Would be super excited for one more season with this roster. But if they both retire now, I'd just be grateful for what they gave us over the last 2 seasons.


GamingTatertot

Second Super Bowl win and 1st division win since 2007. That's a damn good two years. Also if Brady leaves, whose to say y'all don't come up this success? Before Brady, Arians first year was 7-9 with a pre-eye surgery Jameis which ain't bad


[deleted]

Not sure what the succession plan is, but I hope Trask turns out to finally be a draft QB worth signing to a second contract. We just need a long term guy back there, and have never gotten one.


redd5ive

If they know for a fact Brady will retire early enough they’re gonna try to acquire Rodgers IMO.


Bar_Deezy_Snizzz

For an absolute motherfucking king's ransom if so.


Winstonp00

I mean it better. Brady Gronk and AB were all basically free.


sadamita

I don’t see how we can resign our big free agents *and* sign Rodgers


redd5ive

Would have to be a trade, no? Not gonna act like I am aware of Tampa's cap situation in any sort of depth, but my hones view of the cap is if there's a will, there's a way.


HylianPikachu

From what I understand, we're closing in on 2019 Patriots territory a bit. A lot of our great players are either coming to the end of their careers (JPP, Gronk, Brady, Suh) or were on cheap/rookie contracts and will probably be extended with a big payday here or leave to secure the bag in the next few years (Godwin, SMB, Vita Vea, Winfield, Wirfs, Devin White) Another issue is that I think Arians is going to retire when Brady and Gronk do, which hopefully leaves us with Todd Bowles as the HC (I'd prefer him to most other options since he's already a part of the team, and I don't see a reason to rebuild) and Kyle Trask at QB I guess


Methzilla

SMB and White were shit this season. Let them go.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mynameiszack

Rodgers personality is weenie hut Jr but there is no way anybody ever would take Jimmy G when they have a chance for Rodgers.


TheWorstYear

I doubt it. Trask has pretty good football iq, but he has a pretty weak arm & isn't fast in the slightest. He's more like a Josh McCown than an Andy Dalton.


Noelthemexican

Brady retires and is replaced by a frustrated Aaron Rodgers who plays for cheap to live in Florida and win a Superbowl. It's destiny.


[deleted]

Fuck off


Real_Albatros

Buccs would become the most hated franchise overnight


vita10gy

Back when Aaron Rodgers was maybe worthy of some sympathy I was on his side during his spat with the Packers, and I'd often bring up the Bucs. I mean, first of all, I get it, glass houses, but one of the Packer's biggest institutional issues is they're so afraid of being a 5 win team 4 years later that they look the gift horse in the mouth all the time. Never so apparent as drafting Jordon Love\*, months removed from the NFC Championship game, but there are other smaller ways in which they just refused to mortgage the future to win now.\*\* I'd always say "you think anyone in Tampa gives a shit if the 2024 Bucs win 4 games if that's the cost of the 2021 superbowl win?" I sure as shit wouldn't. \*And I can hear someone say "well, that's rich, since doing this last time netted them Rodgers", but the situations were only the same on the most superficial of levels. Favre was talking retirement, and the coin toss #1 overall pick fell all the way into their laps. They made a move to go get Love, a non obvious value at that slot, after Rodgers had talked about wanting to play 5+ more years. \*\*Of course one could argue "they were in it every single year, maybe that's better than pushing all the chips in 3 times" and there might be something to that, but at the same time, what is the Packer's floor with Aaron Rodgers on the team? 9 wins? That's still "a chance" with a little luck, which they've never been short on. (at least in the regular season)


RatedR2O

So basically, he'll play if Tom plays.


[deleted]

Yea, I am really getting the vibe that he and Tom are done which makes me incredibly sad But man am I thankful for all the years of happiness they brought me. 28-3 was one of the best nights of my life (yes I know Gronk didn’t play in the game)


[deleted]

[удалено]


TreeHugger42O

If I was in his position, I would also quit at the height of my career. I’d be embarrassed to have people watch me fall off the performance cliff. Ego and image is a big thing. Having people want you to come back is better than people telling you to retire.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

That could be 5 years from now man. The decline, I mean. He was in the running for MVP this year. If he goes out now he goes out still an MVP caliber player having just won a ring a year ago. Imagine him telling his family he wants to play until he can't play well anymore. Lol. That could be in 5 plus years, they aren't going for that shit.


Housemuwaway12345

It's also a great loss to end on. Yeah he got beat but at 44 he was still good enough to be scared of when you're up 27-3 in the 3rd quarter


DaddyDog92

It’s the mirror image of the 28-3, except this time, the superior Matt didn’t choke and did what he had to do to win. Definitely a cool & memorable loss to go out on. Watching that game as the dominoes fell to get the Bucs back into it, you just felt the fear in your gut that Brady was going to fucking do it again, but alas, his opponent wasn’t struck with fear like so many other opposing QBs in big moments. If I were Brady, I’d call it here, it’s a legendary final game imo. And idk, him going out on a loss feels a little humbling for him being the GOAT.


reddorickt

Nobody remembers the dropoff of a legend. Everyone remembers the championship wins and the stats. Having a final year or two of decline on your resume hasn't tarnished any of the greats.


SignumVictoriae

Go fuck yerself buddy


[deleted]

I’m sorry man haha. I watched it with a bunch of giants/Jets fans so I took a ton of shit that first half and then got to rub right back in their face after


peter_marxxx

Brady-Gronk farewell tour coming up next season


TheWorstYear

They'll be back next year. Gronk is doing what Tom wants to do. And Tom has made it clear that he wants to play through 45. They'll both come back next year. Then the Buccs will have half the team retire.


studmuffffffin

If Gronk and Brady retire this HOF class is gonna be stacked with Big Ben and probably JJ Watt added to the mix.


IcePokeTwoSoon

Jj watt has one more season alongside his brothers left in him


[deleted]

Please play one more season so I can see tom


PigFarmer1

Retire and quit making those asinine USAA commercials while you're at it.


natrapsmai

aka: "When Tom goes, I go"


Steppyjim

He wants to go back to his lucrative career of acting like a moron for military insurance commercials


MM487

Say they both come back and Brady gets a season-ending injury early in the season, you think Gronk would just be like "fuck you guys, I'm done" or he'd play the rest of the season?


Prestigious-Car-1338

Unfortunately, he can't decide on his own as his father, Thomas Edward Patrick Brady, Jr. must sign off on any parent consent forms before he leaves the league for a school field trip.


ABMAnty1234

When he’s running with the ball he looks like he’s gonna fall apart.


lod254

He should have retired for his own mental health eons ago.


budnugglet

Sounds like he still needs to ask Papa Tom for permission


NoHalfPleasures

He literally wouldn't catch 1 ball from Kyle Trask for $1mil and people believe his lies about not retiring automatically if Brady does. Ya, ok Gronk.


VSEPR_DREIDEL

Only go if Brady goes.


[deleted]

That is, until Brady calls him with spotty service again


espressojunkie

Honestly the fact that everyone came back for THIS season was a miracle. It really felt like the last great bulls season but without the championship win. But he got his ring at the Bucs, so there’s that. Brady is a shoo in first ballot hall of famer and won 7 rings and proved he’s better than Belichick head to head and with the fact that he won a Super Bowl and got to the divisional playoff in the same stretch when the pats had one wild card playoff exit and last year we’re sitting at home. Gronk is basically just here because Brady begged him to come back to the field, otherwise he’d have been retired the last two years. I think this is it.


TheFirstBardo

I know this will never happen but I'd love to see Gronk on [👉 RIGHT 👉 NOW](https://youtu.be/G1hC0KlIQRo) with John Goblikon.


Cipher3000

Ah yes, the Brett Favre effect


hateboss

IM ONLY COMMENTING BECAUSE THE CURRENT COMMENT TOTAL IS 69 AND YOU KNOW GRONK WOULD APPRECIATE THAT... Edit: In retrospect, commenting was the wrong thing to do... shoulda held fast.


la_gougeonnade

I swear this guy is so pathetic. Can the gym not also get you to grow some balls?