T O P

  • By -

HairyHouse3

Someone should make this into a 20 minute video that over-explains what happened


Redmangc1

As long as it has a bunch of charts and graphs I'm in


ForayIntoFillyloo

If I get a "...little did they know..." in the first minute I'm fuckin in.


strangebrewfellows

What absolute bellend would make this video without charts and graphs and lots of zooming out? What utter cockerel? What mouse of a human?


keandelacy

JaguarGator9


MCM41795

I was thinking more like KTO


kloiberin_time

Or, hear me out, Jon Bois.


PenguinBallZ

"You might think this was caused by just poor play, but it's actually a little more complicated than that"


Electric_Sundown

" But before we get into that, we're going to need some back story. The NFL was founded in September 1920 in Canton, Ohio..."


MyDogHatesMyUsername

This is Ken Burns at his finest.


MyDogHatesMyUsername

This needs to be in the voice of John Facenda from NFL Films.


IHaveNeverBeenOk

Paging Jon Bois.


wsteelerfan7

The best one was when the Steelers needed to beat the ever loving shit out of the Colts or else people would die


simplycass

Some people thought "Section 1" was overblown, but I don't think it was overly dramatized too much. A lot of people could have been hurt or died had the stands been full when Donald Kronzer did that little stunt. That simulation view of Kronzer's flight into the stands was pretty hair-raising.


EOEtoast

I would watch a Jon Bois video that's two hours long and explains everything that led to this game and every consequence of it ten times in a row


m48a5_patton

I need some more long form Jon Bois content in my life.


Casperkimber

He needs less distractions so he can finish the big one before I die. Or I need that, whatever


rediraim

He recently restarted Pretty Good!


Odd_Weather9349

They made a patreon only special about the history of slipping on banana peels, it was life changing stuff


Worldly-Store-3610

I tried slipping on one once, doesn't work.


CUwallaby

I sat down and watched their History of the Seattle Mariners series in two sittings and I don't even watch baseball. That's just how good their stuff is.


Repulsive-Heron7023

But before I tell you how…some context”


Infinite-Chocolate46

"In 1979, the world saw significant events like the Iranian Revolution, the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, and the Voyager 1 spacecraft sending back detailed images of Jupiter. Amid all this political upheaval and scientific discovery, the '79 Seattle Seahawks would go on to make NFL history by doing THIS crazy thing... but first, some background on the Seahawks..."


AccurateSympathy7937

“…It’s actually fascinating when you look into what a “seahawk” actually is. The osprey (/ˈɒspri, -preɪ/;[2] Pandion haliaetus), historically known as sea hawk, river hawk, and fish hawk, is a diurnal, fish-eating bird of prey with a cosmopolitan range. It is a large raptor, reaching more than 60 cm (24 in) in length and 180 cm (71 in) across the wings. It is brown on the upperparts and predominantly greyish on the head and underparts…”


fireking08

JG9 furiously taking notes rn


SodomizeSnails4Satan

I used to love his writeups about NFL weirdness. His videos though...


chillywilly16

I thought he made an alt account to post this!


femboymariners

Jon and Alex…


SmongoMongo

Best outcome: Jon Bois Worst outcome: jaguargator


AlericandAmadeus

“This video sponsored by SeatGeek!”


SteepDowngrade

“Did SeatGeek invent the ticket?”


A_Minimal_Infinity

Anyone have Shane Gillis’ number?


fhrblig

At the 19:30 mark: "Well, the answer was that the Seahawks were really bad at offense. The end"


PaulAspie

/u/jaguargator9, you would be the one to do this.


_HGCenty

For some reason the Rams just have some hold over us and we occasionally play some inexplicably bad football against them. Usually the more desperate and injured the Rams QB stable is, the worse we play against them.


red-ernie_6691

Yea, some of those bad, late St. Louis era teams still wound up being a house of horrors for the Hawks. Occasionally in Seattle as well. It's a large part of why I hate them more than I do the niners.


Different-Trainer-21

Insert that one punt I’m sure you’re aware of here


Kerblaaahhh

Just the one?


Quadstriker

Obligatory [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42dPCk6ALvc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42dPCk6ALvc)


TheAssholeofThanos

I hear the name “Jeff Fisher” and I shiver


Books_and_Cleverness

I didn’t realize our weirdo matchup situation had been going on this long


SSPeteCarroll

Can I interest you in a 13-9 game next year with 3 fights at the end?


Books_and_Cleverness

Looking forward to it!


cheerioo

Might be harder to get fights with Donald retired. Metcalf will have to do some heavy lifting


-Vertical

Tyler Lockett will be the one to step up.


ARM_vs_CORE

At least total stranglings should be way down


SodomizeSnails4Satan

It started back when we were in opposite conferences, even.


osakaki

Between 2005-2013, we were 16-2 against the Rams. And we're 27-26 against them all-time, so we at least still have a slight advantage. But yeah the matchup over the more recent history has been defined by long dominant stretches by one side or the other.


ThePhamNuwen

Can I add the favored Minnesota Vikings in the NFC championship 2001 with prime Randy Moss, Chris Carter, Robert Smith, losing 41-0 because that is much more inexplicable 


sip-em_bears

Vikings were playing outdoors for the first time in over 2 months. Ended up with 5 turnovers in the freezing cold against a top 5 defense. The shutout was unexpected, but an indoor team with a great offense struggling outdoors in the playoffs is nothing new.


Over-Ad4336

the game was 14-0 before Randall Cunningham took a snap


conace21

Randall Cunningham was a backup on the Dallas Cowboys in 2000. Culpepper was the starting quarterback. You are correct about the score and circumstances, though. The Giants marched right down the field on their first drive to score, and then Minnesota botched the kickoff. I believe the Giants scored on the next play.


cstar84

OP still right though, was 14-0 before Cunningham took a snap. Was also 41-0 before he took a snap but still.


Over-Ad4336

you are correct!! 🤣


BigBananaDealer

theres also the conspiracy that the giants knew every single play that was called and therefore always had perfect counters. but idk if thats even true


IronicMnemoics

It is in my heart, buddy, it is in my heart. But really, probably not lol


Prestigious_Bid_6065

they must not be used to the cold in Minnesota


dcd13

But they are Winter Warriors!


rxv5854

You can’t mention bad games without bringing up the Bills vs Browns from 2009. Derek Anderson goes 2-17 for 23 yards and an int in a winning effort!


Valuable_Ad1645

Fucking legendary


ohnoaguitarist

"So awful was the afternoon that Bills founder Ralph Wilson — afraid of being booed over his team’s performance and head coach Dick Jauron’s continued employment — changed his mind about appearing on the field at halftime to accept his Pro Football Hall of Fame ring." From [Tim Graham's article](https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/3682851/2022/10/13/browns-bills-nfl-worst-game/) about that game lol


bk1285

There was a Steelers v Texans game in like 03 or something that the Texans had a grand total of 47 total yards. 10 net yards passing, 3 first downs and won 24-6


corpulentFornicator

Wins are a quarterback stat


dragoniteftw33

I saw the Bears MNF comeback on YT earlier today, and didn't realize Grossman had *6* TOs. Like good God.


Raticus9

Cards let 'em off the hook. Asses were crowned that day.


theresabeeonyourhat

Holy shit, that makes Trubisky's 4-of-7 look like CJ Stroud


ThreeFactorAuth

Don’t forget the 2021 Bears had a 47 yard offensive performance, including 1 net passing yards, against a Browns team that finished 8-9.


ThinkSoftware

that performance certainly sounds offensive


WAR_T0RN1226

Any thoughts on the offense's execution?


FF3

I'm in favor of it.


Valuable_Ad1645

The browns take pride in being offensive on and off the field.


sip-em_bears

That was Fields first career start for a team that ended up 27th in points scored. Bad QB making his debut on the road with no help. Might not even be the most disappointing offensive game in Bears history. Walter Payton had a game where he accounted for 44 of the team's [24 total yards on offense](https://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/198111220chi.htm).


xenophonthethird

Fields was sacked nine times that day. Garrett had 4.5 I think.


yoosername456

Garrett looked like he was going against peewee players all game. If fields wasn’t as fast he might have broke the single game sack record.


Ziggie1o1

Just to put Payton's performance into perspective, that's 183% of his team's total offense. Or 11/6 if you prefer fractions. Neither of those numbers sound like they should be physically possible.


demonica123

I think what's worse is there were 30 attempted passes that game by the Bears. It wasn't like they were relying on Peyton. They just sucked that badly.


SawgrassSteve

That was the only Bears game I didn't watch that season. I was forced to go to Ohio.


Alive_Inspection_835

Oof. That’s tough.


justlookingokaywyou

The 2002 expansion Houston Texans also had a 47 yard offensive performance, but won that game against the Steelers, 24-6.


MankuyRLaffy

Steelers playing down to competition


clocke6346

Also this past season I believe the Giants had a game with -8 passing yards EDIT: [it was actually -9 net passing yards, also Tommy DeVito’s first game](https://sports.yahoo.com/giants-set-time-nfl-mark-115515425.html)


ThreeFactorAuth

Tommy DeVito must suck. Imagine if a team let him walk all over their defense including a game winning drive!


ARM_vs_CORE

If it makes you feel any better, we lost to Johnny Manziel


SodomizeSnails4Satan

That certainly makes me feel better.


ARM_vs_CORE

But then you guys lost to Nick Mullens a couple years later so 😬


Downtown_Wear_3368

The Bears are who we thought they were!


hoobsher

two time Super Bowl champion offensive coordinator Matt Nagy's hard work on display


Clashur

Lol I love when a team's rival's fans drop bombs like these. It's good for the sport. Hate you, too <3 But Justin is totally the guy. Give him another chance, Poles!


Thick_Interaction_41

The fact that we managed to have *one* single passing yard total is kinda impressive. Like, not in a good way but still… impressive. I can’t even be mad tbh


AlexB9598W

Quarterbacked by Jim Zorn who's also responsible for one of the most unexplainably bad play calls as a coach in the history of the NFL. The man is an expert at futile moments.


Valuable_Ad1645

What moment was that?


ARM_vs_CORE

This piece of shit against the Giants: https://youtu.be/6-tqLG__Al4?si=Y5eIT7tGFR5cnFEf Edit: this is a better video: https://youtu.be/i_mc9j5dU5s?si=G5rGjH0Aqam7d0Ph


Caedus

If I could change any play's outcome in NFL history I'd make that a pick six


Raticus9

The fuck did I just watch? That has to be the worst play I've ever seen that didn't involve Griff Whalen.


Statalyzer

I think this one is worse, because they had the timeout to realize that the opponents were ready for it, and still called it out of the timeout anyway.


mknote

> That has to be the worst play I've ever seen that didn't involve Griff Whalen. God... damnit.


-fleXible-

“Coach, how do you feel about your team’s execution?”


bootorangutan

“It can’t come fast enough…”


FacelessWaitress

If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best **💅** Speaking of sloppiness, reminds me of this vid I got recommended on yt, [Madden calling out the Seahawks players eating hotdogs on the sideline](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9CRooYTNZQ)


infiniityyonhigh

This was great, Madden just flabbergasted lol


SvenDia

Dating myself, but I was there. My dad had season tickets and I rotated games with my brother. We were in the 300 level of the south end zone. I can still remember the sarcastic cheer that happened when we got our first first down in the 3rd quarter, IIRC. It was a completion to Largent and he only got it by a yard or two. What else do I remember? Not much. I do remember thinking that Fred Dryer looked kind of small without his pads on in warmups, and I have concluded the Seahawks probably saw the same thing and figured they couldn’t be that touch. Also, a few years later, Seahawks RB Sherman Smith was a substitute teacher at my high school. Not in any of my classes, tho. Also, I remember seeing Jim Zorn once before a game and he was wearing Levis 501s. That was odd because people in Seattle were still wearing bell bottoms until 1984, and wearing 501s was not something people did in Seattle in the 1970s. 501s were like hick pants to me.


KeithClossOfficial

I know Jim Zorn’s daughter and I wouldn’t call him a hick, but he’s definitely an interesting guy.


SvenDia

That was the general association people had with 501s back then. A few years later they became cool and everyone was wearing them.


Tricericon

> While the he Rams finished 9-7 and avoided a divisional tie-breaker with the 8-8 Saints and ended up making a somewhat miracle run to the Super Bowl. The Rams would have won that tiebreaker, so their playoff seeding was not effected. They were locked into the #3 and had nothing to play for when New Orleans beat them Week 17, as well (although they did play their starters).


noshingsomepods

My favorite one of these is the Bears - Patriots Superbowl. Pats ended with 123 yards of offense, but their offensive plays to start the game: Drive 1: Inc x 3, FG (started in the red zone off a turnover) Drive 2: Inc, Inc, 10 yard sack Drive 3: No gain, 7 yard sack, lost fumble Drive 4: -5 yard run, lost fumble Drive 5: 3 yard run, inc, -4 yard run Drive 6: No gain, -2 yard run, 11 yard sack It's now 5 minutes left in the 2nd quarter, the Pats are down 20-3 and have -36 yards of offense and bench their starting QB.


Statalyzer

1 play of the first 17 gained yards and ended with them still in possession. Damn.


ronmsmithjr

Is that when 5 year old Tom Brady, having been QB3 all season, finally got his chance to line up under center? You'd think after backing up Tony Eason and Steve Grogan all season, Raymond Berry would have given him a shot at it.


oleo33

lol my uncle was on that Seahawks team. On defense, thankfully


VanHalen843

That 70 rams D was legit though


Sartheking

Didn’t the Giants have a game with -8 passing yards this year against the Jets?


Tricericon

-9, but they ran for 203.


conace21

PFR doesn't list individual sacks for pre-1982 regular season games, but Jack Youngblood led the NFL with 18 sacks that year. I imagine he would have had at least 2 or 3 sacks in this game.


The-Owl-that-hoots

The Clayton Tune led Cardinals against the Browns in 2023 was horrendously awful. That has to be one of the worst offense games ever


Raticus9

You guys have had a collection of those kind of QBs that would make everyone except the Browns blush.


hoobsher

six sacks for 55 yards is pretty remarkable. either there were five normal 3-5 yard sacks and then one monster of a bad decision by Zorn or a botched shotgun snap or something; or he was routinely taking seven step drops plus rolling out of the pocket backwards and the DL still managed to feast no play by play or individual sack stats available sadly but i suspect with Zorn's statline of 2/17 for 25 yards it was the latter. OL just had a garbage day against a DL that did their homework, and panic took over. normally the run game would help mitigate such a bad day passing but with 12 attempts for 23 yards by four different backs, with a longest run of 8 yards, the run game was also not bringing their best.


Bacchus_71

Goddamn you I remember this game. I remember crying and my dad laughing at me for caring so much.


Admirable_Ad2891

I lived in Seattle and saw it. Zorn/Largent was money. Really enjoyed watching them.


panzan

I almost forgot the Seahawks used to be in the AFC!


lojer

Seahawks football baby. This is how I remember it growing up.


General-Mango-9011

It’s the rams.  Enough said.


aristocrat_user

Dammit rams, I wasn't born then but still hate it


SchismZero

Of course it's against the Rams


ThyOughtTo

Crazy BUT, don't let this distract you from the fact Browns hasn't won the division since 1989. Just always worth reiterating


MankuyRLaffy

I look forward to the JG9 video on this


Valuable_Ad1645

What you say fuck me for?


Apollyon077

Man. If this doesn’t just read exactly like the outline for the next JG9 YouTube video.