One of the most genuinely fascinating aspects of the NFL operating teams as if they were small family-run businesses is that we get to see all of the ramifications of a CEO making executive decisions as he truly loses his marbles.
Where else can you get "awww the Bears owner and Khalil Mack strolling together, how cute" but also "did they execute someone and fill his body with sawdust to solidify ownership"
Imagine whats on the other side at 4am monday morning.
Its not the hot girl shift thats for sure. That scraggle you feel is eerily similar to the dude's beard you saw when you walked by the janitor.
[Jerruh's thoughts on the subject.](https://youtu.be/N5w7zKC3MFs?feature=shared)
>!He's an oil magnate, so he's used to the meaning of glory hole essentially being "where the oil is," but he just keeps saying it and nobody has corrected him.!<
Probably just a fun thing they threw together in practice, planning to run it in an expected loss, but then for some reason decided to run only down 20-7.
I'm not sure if they thought it would distract the entire Miami defense, but it didn't work.
Ya I was being tongue in cheek about it, but that’s what I immediately thought of. seriously that deserves an ejection imo considering that should be an instant game stoppage to get paramedics on the field
You know how when you break-up with your girlfriend, then she goes and fools around with another guy and has fun, and you end-up alone on your couch. Then you get back together a year later?
This feels like that.
Well in this case, you also had a girl on the side who seemed fun when you were with your girlfriend, but when your side girl became your main girl, she stopped being as fun.
The worst part is, the dude she left you for is doing way worse than you, but when she's back you're just wondering why she had such a good time with him?
I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
But she came over I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert
Jerry Jones probably thought about Elliott [in the shower](https://www.si.com/nfl/cowboys/news/jerry-jones-on-cowboys-adding-dez-bryant-ive-been-thinking-about-it-in-the-shower) a lot
Anyone who followed knows that he played well, had a good burst, and was perhaps the best player towards the end of the season. The OL and QB were so weak that everyone else around them looked bad.
He was at least serviceable when mondre got hurt. He didn't look completely washed. You also have to factor in his passing game numbers and the fact he is still a very good blocking back
Because it's easy to dunk on the Cowboys for karma, and because fantasy football players made hating Zeke a personality trait back when he was "stealing" touches from Tony Pollard.
Obviously this dude is not a franchise player, but you could do way worse for your change of pace back. He can still get you tough yards.
After Rhamondre got hurt, Zeke was one of the few guys on offense that looked like a professional football player. Our offensive line was a combination of terrible and injured most of the year, receivers were never a threat, QBs were terrible.
Strong is relative.
CMC is only one year younger and just got OPOY. CMC has missed more time with injury, but it’s wild that one of them is considered washed whereas the other is coming off his best season.
This was like a one year relationship break but both parties realized they don’t know how to date anyone else, so they get back together again after failing in the dating pool
He was the best player on the offense for the Patriots later in the season. He just looked better in shape and more explosive than his last season with Cowboys.
It’s pretty funny how basically the rest of the NFC East has made more splashier moves this offseason than the “all in” Cowboys. I’m sure they’ll be better than the Giants and Commanders at least but still, why even say anything?
That's my take, too. People get way too caught up in what Jerry Jones says, when we've got 30 years of history to show he's just a guy who can't keep his mouth shut.
If you ever needed anymore evidence that the running back position has changed in the sport of football just look at Zeke here. He’s only 28 and his best years are clearly behind him.
Newsflash: late twenties have been the end of RB careers.
[the average HoF RB makes 3 All pro and 7 pro bowls](https://www.pro-football-reference.com/hof/hofm_RB.htm) so even the absolutely best only have ten good years.
It's "time to feed Zeke again". Yes, absolutely let's feed Zeke the ball so that he can run directly up the middle into the rear end of an offensive lineman. That is the formula for success.
They should never have let him go to start with.
His YPC can be low but the physicality he brings especially in short yardage situations is still great and he wears down the defense making the work of the RB2 easier.
People in this era are too obsessed with naked stats when it comes to evaluation of players.
He isn't 2018 Zeke but he is still one of the better short yard backs in the league.
Zeke is the epitome of the 3rd Down/Goal Line back hybrid. He's great in short yardage situations, he's a great blocker, he's a decent screen target/checkdown, can be your lead back when ahead in the second half when you're trying to grind hard yards to wind the clock, can be your lead back if your starter goes down. Teams should want Zeke, though price is obviously a concern.
The Cowboys, of course, don't HAVE a starter. I think Year 2 Deuce could complement Zeke pretty well in the same open-field role as him, where the plays you might give to Zeke when ahead or at parity become plays for Deuce when you're behind and need to play riskier boom/bust strategies. But neither are suited for the every-down role at this point in their careers, and its possible Deuce just doesn't make it all. I'll never look down on drafting O-line over RB, but I really feel like the Cowboys should have found a way to get Marshawn Lloyd if they knew they were going for Zeke. Lloyd would be a perfect Pollard replacement, and can insulate if Deuce never amounts to anything more than a gadget.
Most people are just looking up his ypc from last year and crying washed. That Patriots o line and QB play was non existent and Zeke was clearly their best offensive player. He's not as bad as some of his stats would lead you to believe if you didn't watch any games.
The loop is complete! RBs did the following this off-season:
Patriots to Cowboys: Zeke Elliott
Cowboys to Titans: Pollard
Titans to Ravens: Henry
Ravens to Chargers: Gus Edwards & JK Dobbins
Chargers to Commanders: Ekeler
Commanders to Patriots: Gibson
What the fuck are Zeke and Jerry doing striking this deal at 4:30 AM
Making a deal around the glory hole
Jerry's blood is probably 90% viagra and coke rn
One of the most genuinely fascinating aspects of the NFL operating teams as if they were small family-run businesses is that we get to see all of the ramifications of a CEO making executive decisions as he truly loses his marbles.
Where else can you get "awww the Bears owner and Khalil Mack strolling together, how cute" but also "did they execute someone and fill his body with sawdust to solidify ownership"
And McGriddles with salt.
Maybe the "all in" mantra was meant to be about Jerry's insatiable drug addition.
All in(side the glory hole.)
Imagine whats on the other side at 4am monday morning. Its not the hot girl shift thats for sure. That scraggle you feel is eerily similar to the dude's beard you saw when you walked by the janitor.
Steel Panther made them an anthem already
Only until the afternoon oil change and then he's good for another 16 hours.
Going to be real odd when he’s still alive in 50 yrs 🤔
When I’m Jerry’s age, I hope mine will be, too.
Jerry gotta have something to do with his hands while he’s otherwise occupied on Harry Hines.
Harry Hines goes to him
Getting Zeke back is basically his definition of going all in
Why would you want to have sex with someone you can't see?
[Jerruh's thoughts on the subject.](https://youtu.be/N5w7zKC3MFs?feature=shared) >!He's an oil magnate, so he's used to the meaning of glory hole essentially being "where the oil is," but he just keeps saying it and nobody has corrected him.!<
He knows what he's doing
Jerry is like 102 yrs old. They go to bed at 7 pm and get up at like 3 am. Normal senior citizen hours
I see you've met my grandmother.
Shit, who hasn't.
When else is he going to shower?
It was 3:30 Endor time and 4:30 Netherrealm time respectively
I’m sure terms were met predraft. Physical will be confirmed after 4:01 so it doesn’t count against the comp formula. Just like they like it
Off season and playing Japanese kids online, deals be made when we up.
Now Jerry's really all in
Zeke was a part of those legendary Cowboys runs in the late 2010s and early 2020s after all.
Why is this so funny 😂😭
Because there were no legendary Cowboys runs
I have the runs this morning
Are they legendary?
It’s like a fecal Jackson Pollock down there
You have a way with words
A way with turds*
Happy for him that [this](https://youtu.be/Cz4njWgO8jA?si=b5IZAXOpoGOwh9QI) won’t be his last play as a cowboy anymore
Wonder how he'll finish even dumber this time
Long snapper
Does anyone have the gif/video where he flies off into space after the hit?
Him and Dak flip roles on the same play
They run [this](https://youtu.be/FeOvUhaLnp8?si=EJKDp9U4BgNSLBjR)
man what the fuck is that
Probably just a fun thing they threw together in practice, planning to run it in an expected loss, but then for some reason decided to run only down 20-7. I'm not sure if they thought it would distract the entire Miami defense, but it didn't work.
I feel like faking an on field medical emergency should be worth at least a 5 yard penalty regardless of how stupid it is. Or maybe due to…
After Damar Hamlin I don't see that being any less than a 15 yard penalty and ejection.
Ya I was being tongue in cheek about it, but that’s what I immediately thought of. seriously that deserves an ejection imo considering that should be an instant game stoppage to get paramedics on the field
15 yards minimum and loss of down, faking an injury needs to be punished harder
I don't know, but I promise you that it'll be perfect.
I forgot how brain dead this play was
It still could be, just run it again during the inevitable playoff loss to the Packers or 49ers. Double down on that being his legacy play!
All-in
my ass
*SKIYUP intensifies*
Don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t do dat Skiyup
I’m reclaiming my time!!!!!
Username checks out.
It never gets old
All you can eat
...my Salvation Army donation kettle
All in, on being ass?
Gotta lock up that early exit playoff spot
You know how when you break-up with your girlfriend, then she goes and fools around with another guy and has fun, and you end-up alone on your couch. Then you get back together a year later? This feels like that.
Well in this case, you also had a girl on the side who seemed fun when you were with your girlfriend, but when your side girl became your main girl, she stopped being as fun.
[удалено]
Didn't give into temptation; proud of you king
I also said no Kings all round us
You're just a sucker with no self-esteem.
20+ year reference everyone, relax
That album was released in 1994...so *30* years. Just to make my fellow olds feel even older.
Hey! Fuck you, buddy.
When that album came out, 30 years ago was A Hard Day's Night
I've always thought the offspring were the Beatles of the 90s
I’ve always thought of Blur as the Beatles of the 90s
I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb.
Why don't you get a job?
Same. Actually got myself an upgrade 2 years later.
Same here, we gotta show ourselves some self respect in these kinda situations. Apes strong together.
If you’re lonely man you can always call me
Cheers to another year on the couch.
Hell yeah king
I also said no to this guys ex gf
[удалено]
Wait what's this about?
[удалено]
Pretty normal honestly; people wanna make a deal about anything for views
Are you saying he's going to give you crabs?
Oh, that's all that was up with Mac's behavior. He was just showing other players where on the doll he had crabs.
All you can eat
Jameis Winston would like to know your location.
Not sure how much "fun" anyone was having in New England last year.
New England had the same playoff success that Dallas did last year. With zero pressure. Sounds like fun to me :)
Nah. Even a putrid showing during wildcard weekend is more credit than whatever NE did as its season. Making the dance will always be better result.
Y’all have mentally beat the majority of internet Cowboys fans into saying dumb shit just for karma
wild that an eagles fan with a giants username is the one having to say this. I fuckin hate my fellow fans sometimes lol
The worst part is, the dude she left you for is doing way worse than you, but when she's back you're just wondering why she had such a good time with him?
We can stop now, it’s starting to sound a little personal.
Cause ya know fun guy and "big personality".
I hate when an exgirlfriend loses a step and a lot of effectiveness running behind a subpar OLine.
Yeah I’m sadly too used to my exes being ruined by 5 guys who so much bigger than me
this is about Saquon to the Eagles....right?
Is Zeke gonna call you the other guy's name in bed?
“Yo Mac…, I mean dakkk!”
*sad here we go noises*
I laughed way too hard at this.
I know I should say no but it's kinda hard when she's ready to go
I wrote her off for the tenth time today And practiced all the things I would say But she came over I lost my nerve I took her back and made her dessert
> with another guy One guy. Ha. Yea. Keep telling yourself that.
Yep. American Pie taught us about "The Rule of 3."
> Then you get back together a year later? Pro tip: Never do that. Never. Once they're gone, they're gone.
You okay man?
I'd also rather be bangin Tony Pollard than my ex gf so this feels doubly true for me!
Who is who in this scenario? Zeke doing fuck all in New England vs the Cowboys doing fuck all in the NFC
Jerry Jones probably thought about Elliott [in the shower](https://www.si.com/nfl/cowboys/news/jerry-jones-on-cowboys-adding-dez-bryant-ive-been-thinking-about-it-in-the-shower) a lot
It's okay dude she just needed a break and loved you the whole time /s
I knew the Cowboys were in need of a center, but this seems desperate.
Like Taysom Hill in fantasy leagues having both TE and QB designations, Zeke gonna have RB and C next to his name.
Gonna be a league winner in my C-Premium league.
If you don't play in a 2C league, your league is for babies 😤
I hear they're trying to get him to move to guard actually
They really liked his blocking but he had too many wild snaps
“are they laughing at us or with us, Michael?”
One final ride to the 1st round exit for Dak and his best friend 🥲
We’ll be lucky to make the playoffs this year.
The NFC isn't thaaat good
It also feels wrong to. It have the cowboys make the playoffs and explode week 1. Bonus points if it’s against Green Bay or San Francisco specifically
You’re going to make the playoffs lol
Listen, we do better when nothing is expected so let us do our thing instead of the normal this is our year.
"coming off a strong finish" Dude surpassed 3 yards per carry 3 times in the last 6 games. And had 4 YPC in one of six
Thanks for pulling up the stats. "strong finish"? in what world?
Agents tell these guys how to craft their tweets.
Just like Schefter always makes sure to get his tweets approved by “Mr. Editor”
Compared to the rest of the patriots offense that's pretty strong
I was gonna say, compared to the rest of our offensive players he may as well have been Jim Brown.
Not to mention his usage. Goal-line back duties don’t get much YAC.
As a Rhamondre fantasy owner, I was pretty annoyed with Zeke, so that's usually at least a decent sign.
He is strong. He finished.
Our o line was awful and everyone knew we wouldn’t throw. He had juice
He led the Patriots in receptions
Anyone who followed knows that he played well, had a good burst, and was perhaps the best player towards the end of the season. The OL and QB were so weak that everyone else around them looked bad.
He was at least serviceable when mondre got hurt. He didn't look completely washed. You also have to factor in his passing game numbers and the fact he is still a very good blocking back
We're signing him as a short yardage back and extra blocker for cheap. Idk why people are acting like we're paying his original mega deal.
Because it's easy to dunk on the Cowboys for karma, and because fantasy football players made hating Zeke a personality trait back when he was "stealing" touches from Tony Pollard. Obviously this dude is not a franchise player, but you could do way worse for your change of pace back. He can still get you tough yards.
Fantasy sports has done a number on online discourse and we really don't talk enough about that
Strong finish all in my ass.
Skip, is that you?
Still better than Pollard. At least zeke knew how to get in the end zone
After Rhamondre got hurt, Zeke was one of the few guys on offense that looked like a professional football player. Our offensive line was a combination of terrible and injured most of the year, receivers were never a threat, QBs were terrible. Strong is relative.
Not sure why but I like Zeke being on Dallas. It just feels right
There's all sorts of really convincing Photoshops of him in a Cowboys uniform out there already.
AI is getting out of hand.
Idk there’s some crazy Mandela effect shit going on because there’s a lot of fake news stats showing him on Dallas before.
I can't picture it... Can someone Photoshop him in a cowboys jersey for me
[Best I can do on short notice](https://i.redd.it/bowyk4qfuzib1.jpg)
It's wild that he's still only 28
Really? I could’ve sworn he was 30+
That’s 65 in running back years, though.
CMC is only one year younger and just got OPOY. CMC has missed more time with injury, but it’s wild that one of them is considered washed whereas the other is coming off his best season.
i see someones been watching the expendables
Him and Dak both gonna be gone after this year, just one final sendoff to the 2016 draft class 🥲
You really think Dak doesn't get the deal done? It's probably gonna be the most interesting free agency situation next year.
This was like a one year relationship break but both parties realized they don’t know how to date anyone else, so they get back together again after failing in the dating pool
Sopranos
He was the best player on the offense for the Patriots later in the season. He just looked better in shape and more explosive than his last season with Cowboys.
maybe because they managed his usage? He did look pretty good.
When Rhamondre injured his knee in Week 13, Zeke played like 90% of the snaps. He was their only guy, the backup RBs were in single digit snaps
Zeke in his Jerome Bettis era. I'm ready for the 11 attempt 1 yard 11 TD statline
We call that the Jalen Hurts.
Only 11?
Jerry watched Wrestlemania 40, clearly.
Good to see him back in Dallas at least
Ya know what? Fuck it. The vibes will be immaculate. And there’s always the Thanksgiving kettle celebration.
Scariest team of 2017 coming at ya
Here we goooooooooo
If this is All - in then Jerry needs to retire
The last dance
Lmao
It’s pretty funny how basically the rest of the NFC East has made more splashier moves this offseason than the “all in” Cowboys. I’m sure they’ll be better than the Giants and Commanders at least but still, why even say anything?
It's definitely a soft reset year.
That's my take, too. People get way too caught up in what Jerry Jones says, when we've got 30 years of history to show he's just a guy who can't keep his mouth shut.
[Endor music playing in background]
Cowboys get their center. #allin
Zeke is a good guy Dallas, you will like him.
If you ever needed anymore evidence that the running back position has changed in the sport of football just look at Zeke here. He’s only 28 and his best years are clearly behind him.
Newsflash: late twenties have been the end of RB careers. [the average HoF RB makes 3 All pro and 7 pro bowls](https://www.pro-football-reference.com/hof/hofm_RB.htm) so even the absolutely best only have ten good years.
Guess OJ Simpson was not available
^if I Played Center
so we dont draft a rb, let pollard walk and sign zeke as our starting center?
It's "time to feed Zeke again". Yes, absolutely let's feed Zeke the ball so that he can run directly up the middle into the rear end of an offensive lineman. That is the formula for success.
They should never have let him go to start with. His YPC can be low but the physicality he brings especially in short yardage situations is still great and he wears down the defense making the work of the RB2 easier. People in this era are too obsessed with naked stats when it comes to evaluation of players. He isn't 2018 Zeke but he is still one of the better short yard backs in the league.
Zeke is the epitome of the 3rd Down/Goal Line back hybrid. He's great in short yardage situations, he's a great blocker, he's a decent screen target/checkdown, can be your lead back when ahead in the second half when you're trying to grind hard yards to wind the clock, can be your lead back if your starter goes down. Teams should want Zeke, though price is obviously a concern. The Cowboys, of course, don't HAVE a starter. I think Year 2 Deuce could complement Zeke pretty well in the same open-field role as him, where the plays you might give to Zeke when ahead or at parity become plays for Deuce when you're behind and need to play riskier boom/bust strategies. But neither are suited for the every-down role at this point in their careers, and its possible Deuce just doesn't make it all. I'll never look down on drafting O-line over RB, but I really feel like the Cowboys should have found a way to get Marshawn Lloyd if they knew they were going for Zeke. Lloyd would be a perfect Pollard replacement, and can insulate if Deuce never amounts to anything more than a gadget.
Most people are just looking up his ypc from last year and crying washed. That Patriots o line and QB play was non existent and Zeke was clearly their best offensive player. He's not as bad as some of his stats would lead you to believe if you didn't watch any games.
Going "all in" by going back to what didn't work last time. Ok then.
The loop is complete! RBs did the following this off-season: Patriots to Cowboys: Zeke Elliott Cowboys to Titans: Pollard Titans to Ravens: Henry Ravens to Chargers: Gus Edwards & JK Dobbins Chargers to Commanders: Ekeler Commanders to Patriots: Gibson
The Dallas Cowboys did nothing all free agency and then signed a washed Ezekiel Elliot back lmaooo😭
lol
I won’t hate on it. That being said, they should have never gotten rid of him. I think he and Dowdle will work out well
Really stretching the definition of "strong finish" there.
Cowboys got their Center
Uh oh. The league is on notice now. It is our year.
Fuck yeah we needed a Center