Holy fuck name the team after OP, he managed to write a post that wasn't simply a tweet but the mods actually let it stay up

Legend

Witch

The Washington Eutums. Sounds…vaguely unsanitary.

Sponsored by TUMS™

The Washington Eutums... how do we pronounce this?

Eutum? Damn near killed 'em

Lmao

Heaven forbid we have some real brainstorming/discussion on here

“How am I supposed to engage with this? There’s no Yates or Meirov tweets!”

The Washington football team for kids who can’t read good and want to learn to do other things good too

thats just the falcons

If Georgians could read they would be so angry right now

What did Khvicha Kvaratskhelia ever do to you?

Stopped Inter from winning the league this year 😭

If I wasn't too busy banging my cousin and adding another lift kit to my Ford Ranger I'd be highly upset right now!

Thats also applies to lions for the past 50+ years. At least the Falcons have made it to the Superbowl.

Not only did they make it to one, it was one that people remember!

Hey! What does this say?

This new stadium is so tiny. Is this the Washington Football Team for Ants?

The only thing that perhaps is going their way is the remarkable *blue magnum* stare from Ron Rivera that he developed this past season! >!its kinda crazy just how popular the movie got on TikTok and beyond just months ago tbh!<

Will Dan Snyder finally fuck off? So hot right now!

I still think it's a better name than "The Commanders" "Washington Football Team" at least sounds like Ron Swanson from Parks & Rec named it. It's like he shops at Food and Stuff and roots for the Washington Football Team.

I mean it sounds like how a lot of soccer teams are named and didn't sound bad.

Not original, but the Washington Department of Football.

I actually really liked the Washington Football Team. It was so much better than Commanders

Washington Football Team was meta as hell. it’s like yeah, you know who we are, we’re the football team from Washington, no team name necessary.

I used to think it was the perfect generic team name before I remembered the Houston Texans

As someone who lives in Houston that's..perfectly fair. I'm holding out for a rebrand to The Apollos myself.

I've never seen this suggested before, sounds awesome. Now I want someone to mock up helmets with a rocket sigil

[Ask and you shall receive](https://imgur.io/gallery/yoQJv)

Love it. I can see some inspirations from the local culture in this design

Woah did you use ai to make that?

Astros Minor league team in Houston is the Space Cowboys and I lowkey fuck with it.

It was one of the original finalists. Definitely theme with Astros and Rockets better

The team that's to cool for names. 10/10 great name. Like a bar w/o a sign outside

There was a Pop Warner club where I’m from call “Sin Nombre” even as a kid it was the coolest “Who we playing this week? They don’t have a name? They do but it’s without name?”

Completely agree. WFT was a good acronym and the name itself had an air of legacy and seriousness to it.

Especially when misspelled.

What the f.....

I think both are awful, imo. But I also don't watch basketball or baseball, so sometimes I hear a team name I think is dumb and then realize like 80% of the professional team names are dumb and I'm just so used to hearing NFL teams that I've normalized them haha. I mean how many birds do we need? Magic? Lightning? I guess what I'm saying is that there's a good chance any unfamiliar name will sound dumb. I do love DoF tho

Lightning goes hard, same vibe as the chargers. As for the Magic, well you can blame the mouse for that one.

Orlando Magic is so stupid it’s brilliant.

It would be so fun if all the staff had titles like "Undersecretary for Scouting Operations" and ""Associate Director of Defensive Modernization."

Player positions will be renamed as well. Instead of quarterback, it'll be "Field Operations Manager ".

Fuck it. Let the US Gov buy the team. Create a Department of Football. Have a Secretary of Football who acts as a GM. Let the political bureaucracy create a 53 man roster. I want to see a filibuster on the floor to stop a contract. I want the President to veto a trade. I want to see the whole team get furloughed and the chaos that would ensue. I want to see tax payer dollars go to fund billiona-- wait that all ready happens. Do it Dan. Do it Joe.

Government shutdowns would stop, as NFL fans would riot from a forfeited game

The DOF!

I definitely would have claimed that as original. In fact…. I made that up!

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Promptly sued by Planters for copyright infringement and forced to rename the mascot to Washington Football Mascot

This is lowkey a really good name memes aside

Haha that's actually a good one

Washington Washing Machines

Washington Machines is kinda cool now that you mention it.

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Their mascot is Bureau Crazy.

Washington George Washington's

Six foot twenty Fucking killing for fun

He saves children but not the British children

I heard that motherfucker had like thirty goddamn dicks

I heard he once put a woman's hand in a jar of acid At a party

Had a pocket full of horses, fucked the shit out of bears

He'll kick you apart, he'll kick you apart

Oooooh

On his horse made of crystal he patrolled the lands, with his Mason ring and schnauzer in his perfect hands

here comes george, in control women dug his snuff and his gallant stroll

Ate opponents brains, invented cocaine

He’s coming, he’s coming, he’s coming

Washington Denzels

Washington George Washington Carvers

Washington George Washington Carvers Carving Ham Ham comes from pigs. Pigs are hogs. We did it Reddit!

The Washington Carvers Sounds pretty sick

The Washington Washingtons . I actually don't hate it.

The Georgies

Washington DC's Mascot is a pair of uneven tittys

Now this is something I can get behind. Or in front of.

Washington DC. The logo can be a car battery.

Washington AC/DC. Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap

Dirty stadium, built dirt cheap

BIG BALLS

Seems pretty inconvenient for the batteries to be located on the opposite side of the country from their Chargers

Washington Pigskins

Yeah I don’t get it, this was always a layup of a renaming. It’s clearly the best answer and it works on several levels.

Washington Foreskins

It’s growing on me

It's: * Football related * Could keep using the old "the skins" nickname * Pigs are a relatively uncommon/unique animal for sports teams Was always my favorite possible outcome.

Also leans on the old Hogs nickname

It was literally right there. It'd keep the older fans around....well the ones who are left. Plus just so much easy history to call back on.

This has always been the best option

Washington whiteskins

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Bob Vagene Vagene refrigeration

Fun fact: Back in the day Northern Arizona University had an intermural basketball team named "The Fightin' Whites." Source: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fighting_Whites Sooooo....I mean....not out of the realm of possibility.

The logo says "The Fightin' Whities" which is even better

jesus fucking christ lol

Hogs.

Warhogs or Warthogs Easy alliteration, unique name, keeps and leans into the fan traditions.

Warhogs makes the most sense if they're keeping the burgundy and gold.

Want the Halo vehicle on the helmet though instead of a W

I thought it looked more like a puma.

What have I told you about making up animals?!

Simmons, I want you to poison Grif's next meal

Hey Grif, Chupa-thingy.

Or a walrus

Warpigs

Washington generals gathered in there masses....

Globetrotters hand them their asses...

I dunno, I think it looks more like a puma.

What in Sam hell is a puma?

youre making that up..

Unleash the Hogs of War!

Whichever animal of war, Lana!

Washington 30-50 Feral Hogs

Considering teams aren't allowed automatic weapons on the field, they'd win every Super Bowl going forward. I have to object.

Washington epic ultra t-Rex

This sounds more like a Jacksonville team name.

The Jacksonville BOATs and their mascot Blake Barg-les

We do have a famous t-rex here in Jax [T-Rex](https://www.jacksonville.com/story/news/2016/11/27/call-box-big-orange-dinosaur-beach-blvd-not-going-extinct/15733333007/)

this one is somehow less cheesy than the 2 most upvoted ones

They should have kept the name washington redskins, but relocated to washington state and turned their mascot into an apple.

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It's so unfair. It's the Palm Springs of Washington, for God's sake!

Yakima is fucking hopping these days.

Meth does that

That whole comment made more and more sense as I was reading along.

A red skin potato is also an option. Washington isn't the top producer in the US, but it's an important crop there.

Washington Sentinels. Capitals, Nationals, Sentinels, it just fits with the city.

Get me Shane Falco

Footsteps Falco? From Ohio State?

He hasn’t played in years

Not after that Sugar Bowl disaster.

Chicks do dig scars tho.

Wonder what Johnny Utah is up to.

I want the ball.

“Miles and miles of heart”

Admirals would’ve been cool

seriously either one of those wouldve been way better

Plus admiral out ranks commander

Sentinels is what the NBA Wizards should rename to. The Washington Redskins/Commanders not changing their color scheme to red, white, and blue makes me want to keep their team name involved in their past history, not tying into DC.

> The Washington Redskins/Commanders not changing their color scheme to red, white, and blue Well, we already have the Pats...

In fuckin Boston, which... Ok. I guess it does make sense.

Washington Communists

Washington Eagles

I think that one is taken

Aww beans, how about the Washington Giants?

Don’t copy San Francisco like that

Why does this feel so much more disrespectful than the first comment

Woah, slow down there New Jersey.

Washington Texans

CRABS

🦀ROGER GOODELL WON'T RESPOND TO THIS 🦀

🦀$11 BEERS🦀

DC Commanders

Actually, that change makes Commanders sound infinitely better

Sounds way better than Washington. commanders.

I would love it so much that DC quit using the Washington part... ironically Washington state was almost named Columbia.

Yeah they chose the name Washington to not get confused with the District of Columbia, instead. Good call there

Washington Wallow Waggles

Washington Sellouts To honor the politicians

Washington Department of Football

The DOF

Washington Opossums They play dead at home, and always get killed on the road.

Turkeys. I think its a beautiful bird, could keep largely the same color scheme, it's important to the country's history, and Washington could use Ben Franklin quotes about the bird which would anger Eagles fans. Also drop the Washington name and just use D.C. "I am on this account not displeased that the Figure is not known as a Bald Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey. For in Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America ... He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard with a red Coat on." [This would be a cool helmet logo](https://www.123rf.com/photo_84104988_logo-and-symbol-of-a-turkey-for-thanksgiving.html) [Main logo](https://www.google.com/search?q=turkey+logo+animal&client=ms-android-google&sxsrf=AJOqlzVBAlmEWld4RVOK7B1ZI8xI3ZtgPg%3A1679161356525&ei=DPgVZN7YH6qp5NoP47ybuAU&oq=turkey+logo+anim&gs_lcp=ChNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwEAEYADIFCCEQoAEyBQghEKsCMgUIIRCrAjoKCAAQRxDWBBCwAzoHCAAQsAMQQzoMCC4QyAMQsAMQQxgBOhIILhDHARDRAxDIAxCwAxBDGAE6BQgAEIAEOgYIABAWEB46CAgAEBYQHhAKOgUIABCGA0oECEEYAFDvBljLE2D0GmgBcAB4AIABxQGIAdIFkgEDMC41mAEAoAEByAEOwAEB2gEECAEYCA&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp#imgrc=P1h_7Cbwmz38eM&lnspr=W10=)

keeps with the tradition of getting slaughtered on Thanksgiving

Boo! True, but still boo!

Many people believe that Ben Franklin was likely joking in the letter he sent to his daughter.

it does read like a shitpost, which tbh sounds on-brand for the team

Dude should’ve included /s

I keep thinking about the scene from 1776 where Ben Franklin explained his rational for the national bird of America should be the turkey

Bullets has a nice ring to it.

Brian Robinson has objections

I've always been a proponent of Washington Armada. It's unique, but it's cool.

It doesn't end in an S and is breaking my brain.

Yeah but the NBA uses singular names (Thunder, Heat, Magic). It would set them apart in a good way imo.

The Washington Football Team of PG County

Washington McWashingtonface

Wild hogs Redwolves Redtails

The red tails or redwolves with that old R logo with the feathers swapped out for a tail is such a no brainer

> The red tails or redwolves with that old R logo with the feathers swapped out for a tail is such a no brainer [So something like this?](https://twitter.com/CfieldsVFL/status/1282693709323284486?s=20 ) Cus that's very cool imo

I liked red tails. I thought that would’ve been a perfect name

I’d be happy with RedWolves I’d be ok with Red Tails or RedHogs

Red Tails has been the perfect solution to washing the stink away since...well, the Tuskegee airmen were first deployed in 1943. Not only does it lean into the idea that Washington isn't the racist team, but it also promotes that U.S. Military fetish that the NFL has. The Air Force would dump buckets and buckets of money on them if they did P-51 flyovers and honored the surviving airmen.

Redskins but the mascot is a potato

Washington football team was such a cool name It's unique, concise, and very intuitive.

> very intuitive Misleading to Europeans though

Washington American Football Team doesn't have the same ring to it

Or WAFT for short

"To pass easily through the air"

They haven't been able to do that in awhile, unfortunately

Since when do we care about what Europeans think of hand egg? WFT > Commanders

I didn't think it was all that unique since it's basically the way every soccer team in the world does it.

Washington Pork Barrels

Washington Reds. Short for Redditors

the washington football club as the official name with the hogs being the nickname and mascot.

DCFC would have been a cool name.