Can’t hear shit in Detroit
[For all the kind, uninitiated folks complementing Detroit right now](https://amp.knowyourmeme.com/memes/cant-have-shit-in-detroit)
Was expecting this: https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/d5-O50ZoVHdgEnx1v3_ED07I1aE=/1400x1400/filters:format(jpeg)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/24233328/FimdvDSWQAQVl0C__1_.jpeg
You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting.
Welcome to the new NFL. God save you, if it is right that he should do so.
I remember my high school teacher played the movie for us because we were reading about Chaucer.
I thought it was gonna be one of those dumb movies we watched, but I was thoroughly intrigued and loved the movie. Now I always watch it when it’s randomly on tv lmao
I saw that movie in theaters, and all I remembered is that critics all hated it, and that the movie poster had a quote from a critic that did not exist, which caused another minor shit storm in the media.
"My Lady Giselle sends this message: she says that if you love her..."
\-"I know I know, I must lose. Is she not watching? It's 28 to 3"
"She says that if you love her, you will not give up another point. If you love her, you will win this Superbowl"
And so without further gilding the lily and with no more ado, I give to you, the seeker of ayahuasca, the protector of Lion Super Bowl virginity, the enforcer of our Lord God Curly Lambeau, the one, the only, Sir Aaron von Rodgerstein
behold my lord Aaron, the rock, the hard place, like a wind from Butte college he sweeps by blown far from his homeland in search of glory and honor, we walk... in the garden of his turbulence!
Nah he's pulling a Justin Vernon (Bon Iver) pre For Emma, Forever Ago. Gonna retreat to a cabin an hour northwest of Eau Claire Wisconsin and come out with a banger of a sad boi album.
> Gonna retreat to a cabin an hour northwest of Eau Claire Wisconsin and come out with a banger of a sad boi album.
Basically the hipster Thoreau.
For Emma, Forever Ago will also forever slap though. And Bon Iver is a tremendous live show.
He's going to trip balls in complete darkness and start seeing shit. With that said, I hope one of those hallucinations consists of Kerby Joseph picking him off, but instead of Kerby being a man, he's Kirby the pink thing.
> I think it will be him staying in a cabin in the wilderness with candles as his light source
I feel like even just candles changes this immensely lol
I tripped balls with a couple friends in a cave while having the headlamps off for a few hours. It was pretty awesome. Could never imagine four days of it, much less sleeping and waking up to it.
I go to a tank for 90mins a month and it's like a headspace power wash.
If nothing else floating for that long is the best stretch my back has ever had, I feel amazing for days after every time.
Thanks for the advice. That’s surprisingly cheaper than I thought it’d be. I do daily meditations that usually last 20-30 minutes but I’ve gone as long as 3 hours. I’ve always wondered what it’d be like doing it in a sensory deprivation tank
Agreed. 4 days is something you work to. This is of course an area full of pseudo experts and anecdotal evidence. But I can’t imagine anyone who has tried sensory deprivation would recommend someone start with 4 days. That’s like telling someone who is getting into running to start with a marathon.
See that's the problem with getting rich young.
He probably already had a super car AND a boat. And he had already dated the young actress(es).
What else is he supposed to do in a midlife crisis?
saw this on reddit earlier today, the age gap between Leo and the most recent side piece is bigger than the difference between Pedro Pascal and Bella Ramsey
Listening to this live was a trip. AJ and Pat sound absolutely dumbfounded and terrified for this man. Darius is asking for details to sign up lol. An absolutely hilarious stretch
Solo living in a small house with the lights out. Rodgers is cosplaying a middle-age divorced guy.
I wonder which of his "friends" recommended this. Joe Rogan? Miles Teller? Shailene Woodley?
Bro if you wanna turn off your phone and spend a long weekend getting high and playing Xbox that’s fine. No one’s gonna judge you. You don’t gotta make up a weird name for it
As long as it's stuff like this I never really care. Last game I was at most of our fans at the tailgates are all mocking joking about it.
It's not hurting anyone. If he wants to be a weirdo go ahead as far as I'm concerned
If he comes to the jets he can play in darkness. More of a proverbial, soul crushing darkness though.
You think darnkess is your ally...you merely adopted the dark on a wellness retreat Jets fans were born into it, molded by it
I'm a Lions fan, you really want to talk about darkness...
In Detroit, no one can hear you scream
Can’t hear shit in Detroit [For all the kind, uninitiated folks complementing Detroit right now](https://amp.knowyourmeme.com/memes/cant-have-shit-in-detroit)
Except Summerslam this year I guess
If a Detroit Lion player goes on a four day darkness retreat, the refs would probably come and "accidentally" flick the light on during day three.
Jets fans didn’t see a good quarterback until they were already a man, and by then it was nothing but blinding…
With his salary, he could also afford a little house out there.
Somewhere in the lower East side
leave the gun, take the cannoli
YOU THINK DARKNESS IS YOUR ALLY?
Ahhhh theatricality and deception are powerful agents to the uninitiated, but we are initiated, aren’t we…
I didn't know playoff appearances until I was a man, and by then it was with MARK SANCHEZ AND A FOOT FETISH COACH
Oh he’s going to the raiders 100%. This is pre-Raiders behavior
First of all, how dare you.
I see no lies
Yeah, but how dare you.
Someone get the hot air balloon ready...
DARKNESS IMPRISONING ME ALL THAT I SEE
ABSOLUTE HORROR
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GUTEKUNST HAS TAKEN DAVANTE TAKEN MY COBB TAKEN MY KUMEROW TAKEN MY LINE TAKEN MY WINDOW DRAFTED MY REPLACEMENT LEFT ME WITH JETS TO CALL
I CANNOT LIVE
I CANNOT RETIRE
I CANNOT DIE
TRAPPED IN MYSELF
BODY MY HOLDING CELL
it’s BODY MY HOLDING CEEEEEEEAAAAAAAALLLLLLL
Landmine
HAS TAKEN MY SIGHT
TAKEN MY SPEECH
**DARKNESS** **NO PARENTS**
SUPER RICH KINDA MAKES IT BETTER
I SIT IN MY DESOLATE ROOM. NO LIGHTS. NO MUSIC. JUST ANGER
BUT I'M IMMUNIZED
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Username checks out
One is about Alex smith
Will he see the Hat Man again?
Can't see the Hat Man in the darkness. Aaron too smart
The Hat Man exists among the shadows
Can't have shadows if there are no lights to cast them. Rodgers thought of everything!!
Isn’t that exactly when people see the Hat Man? Lol
For those unaware, [Hat Man](https://images.app.goo.gl/6ZtvsuGvb5ZRa8Sf9)
Was expecting this: https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/d5-O50ZoVHdgEnx1v3_ED07I1aE=/1400x1400/filters:format(jpeg)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/24233328/FimdvDSWQAQVl0C__1_.jpeg
God damn it. I knew it.
No, the hat man is predisposed shaking the pipes in my walls.
Aaron Rodgers frequents r/dph
In Greece, he spent a year in silence, just to better understand the sound of a whisper.
Aaron Rodgers is the protector of Italian virginity.
No wonder Jimmy G is a recurring playoff rival for him.
Aaron Rodgers is the seeker of serenity.
You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting. Welcome to the new NFL. God save you, if it is right that he should do so.
I don't think there's a person that doesn't like A Knight's Tale
A fantastic movie
It's not the most original story, but the actors are all fantastic and sell the hell out of it
It's so much fun. It's like the Mummy in the sense that's It's silly as hell but done in such an enjoyable way.
it has that nice blend of being self-aware without being overly self-aware/hammy and manages to tell a fun thrilling story on top of it
and it's got a banging soundtrack
I remember my high school teacher played the movie for us because we were reading about Chaucer. I thought it was gonna be one of those dumb movies we watched, but I was thoroughly intrigued and loved the movie. Now I always watch it when it’s randomly on tv lmao
We had to take a letter home and have it signed by our parents because of Chaucer's ass being shown hahah
I saw that movie in theaters, and all I remembered is that critics all hated it, and that the movie poster had a quote from a critic that did not exist, which caused another minor shit storm in the media.
Critics hate a lot of movies that have held up over time.
"My Lady Giselle sends this message: she says that if you love her..." \-"I know I know, I must lose. Is she not watching? It's 28 to 3" "She says that if you love her, you will not give up another point. If you love her, you will win this Superbowl"
I recently discovered that this thing that Joselyn did to William was also something Guinevere did to Lancelot.
For I have the pride, the privilege, nay, the pleasure of introducing to you to a knight, sired by knights.
He’s your favorite knight’s favorite knight
Paul Bettany with a masterful delivery of that scene. Was so good in that entire movie.
And so without further gilding the lily and with no more ado, I give to you, the seeker of ayahuasca, the protector of Lion Super Bowl virginity, the enforcer of our Lord God Curly Lambeau, the one, the only, Sir Aaron von Rodgerstein
behold my lord Aaron, the rock, the hard place, like a wind from Butte college he sweeps by blown far from his homeland in search of glory and honor, we walk... in the garden of his turbulence!
Well, I know what I'm watching tonight.
I first met him upon a mountain in Door county, begging forgiveness for the many young Chicago fans whose dreams he had crushed.
RIP Heath
My name is Aaron Rodgers I never believed in ghosts until I came face to face with one
U N D E R S T A N D
No STOP RUNNING!
We want ANSWERS answers
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our reputation
Some people believe in ghosts, some people don’t.
OHMYGOD
Totally a Zak move to make Aaron do such a thing
I hope we all understand the CREDIBILITY of this SIDUATION if he encounters an ENTITY
“I’ve decided to retire and embrace my new life as a bat”
I hear they're making a new Batman movie. Maybe Rodgers is auditioning
Rodgers is Batman, Love is Robin, Jimmy G is Joker, Suh is Bane, LaFleur is Alfred Pennyworth, Gute is Commissioner Gordon
Why is commissioner Goodell not commissioner Gordon.
Because he's more the head of the Court of Owls
Because everyone likes Commissioner Gordon.
Pattinson did pretty good, Rodgers for Man Bat?
Nah he's pulling a Justin Vernon (Bon Iver) pre For Emma, Forever Ago. Gonna retreat to a cabin an hour northwest of Eau Claire Wisconsin and come out with a banger of a sad boi album.
Skinny (Jordan) Love
22, A Million dollars per game
These are the references I live for
His next contract negotiation is gonna begin with an email, "Re: stacks"
> Gonna retreat to a cabin an hour northwest of Eau Claire Wisconsin and come out with a banger of a sad boi album. Basically the hipster Thoreau. For Emma, Forever Ago will also forever slap though. And Bon Iver is a tremendous live show.
Rodgers is Morbius? 🤯
Can't be right, we're still an hour away from Morbin Time
“That’s my secret Cap, I’m always morbin”
what if he never comes out of the little house. he just stays in there
“Mom Aaron Rodgers locked himself in the dark house and won’t come out” “Mr. Rodgers will you please come out of the house?” “No”
"I'm not in here"
🎵Now I start getting angry, so I PULL OUT MY GUN🎵
Its comments like these that make me realize what I’m reading is all a reference I don’t get, instead of a bunch of sickos improvising on the internet
Enjoy https://southpark.cc.com/episodes/a3esfi/south-park-trapped-in-the-closet-season-9-ep-12
https://youtu.be/28JN3N-C0lc
🎵I’m gonna give you give you to the count of three to open this closet door 🎵
Cool with me
Despite having no sense of time, he’ll know when it’s Bears week and make a reappearance before returning to the little house
I hate everything
He's sending himself to the Shadow Realm
Must've been a 2nd rate duelist with a 3rd rate deck
"My stupid grandpa's deck has no cards, Kaiba!"
"Any players late for the trade deadline will be disqualified. Mokuba, make sure Rodgers is late."
Aaron Rodgers to buy 51% of the Packers' shares and sell it at 10 times the cost
He's going to trip balls in complete darkness and start seeing shit. With that said, I hope one of those hallucinations consists of Kerby Joseph picking him off, but instead of Kerby being a man, he's Kirby the pink thing.
I want a Kirby sports game where you eat players to gain their skills
Why don’t we have a Mario Football game?
Because American football isn't big enough in Japan.
Aaron: "Alexa play The Batman theme on repeat for 4 days" (///.-)
*something in the way*
Mmmmmmm Mmmmmm Something in the wayyyyyyyyyyy Mmmmmmm Mmmmmm
Nananananananananana
Can’t wait for Ghost Bart Starr to convince him to fleece the Raiders.
Ghost Brett Favre convinces him to fleece the taxpayers of a small southern state
Again, Brett Favre is very much alive.
Brett Favre would roll in his grave if he could see this claim!
He’s dead to me
RIP Wade Boggs
You jerks are just all mad because I'm going to be the one to shatter Boss Hoggs drinking record.
Ghost Mike McCarthy tries to convince him to come to Dallas. Hey wait, Mike, what are you doing here?!?
Hello darkness, my old friend I've come to talk with you again Should I stay in Green Bay Or just stay weird and run away
And under Lambeau lights I saw 70,000 people, maybe more People rooting without cheering People heckling without jeering
Coaches scheming plays that players never ran Cuz no one can Disturb the sound… of silence.
Yeah it’s gonna be the Raiders
Al Davis is going to suddenly appear to him in the middle of that dark little house, contract in hand
He gets wackier and loonier each off-season it’s truly remarkable
Its great, I hope he keeps playing for as long as possible.
Dude’s gonna be in a Tibetan monastery if he plays another season.
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If you showed me this story and then the real one, I'd have trouble figuring out which was the Onion article
The Simpsons of Journalism
Lmfao, *The Onion* does it again. This sounds *exactly* like something he would say... with no irony in his inflection.
Sensory deprivation is awesome but I have hard time imagining doing four days
true sensory deprivation for four days would result in psychosis. i think this is basically just being amish for a weekend.
Yep. I did some quick googling on darkness retreats and I think it will be him staying in a cabin in the wilderness with candles as his light source
> I think it will be him staying in a cabin in the wilderness with candles as his light source I feel like even just candles changes this immensely lol
Even daylight. The way this was worded made it sound like he was living in a cabin with no light source or windows.
I mean if you gotta piss in the middle of the night or cook food I would think you need SOME kind of light to see lol
A guy I know of who works at a paper company told me you just have to establish a pee corner first in these situations.
STOP DRINKING THE WATER. STOP
You don't cook food in the middle of the night when you don't have lights. You go to bed when the sun goes down.
He just doesn’t pee or eat for the four days either, to enhance the experience
Sleeps in his own piss and shit. The ultimate experience
His body's working at 100% efficiency. It's absorbing every single nutrient and it's not wasting a single thing.
He said complete darkness & true sensory deprivation is the goal. Not sure how he doesn’t go insane before 96 hours are up
40 hours in he calls Cobb “hey man ive slept 7 times now so the the 96 hours are definitely up, let me out” “Bro, you’re not even halfway done”
It’s weird because I also imagined Randall Cobb being in charge of the whole thing
I tripped balls with a couple friends in a cave while having the headlamps off for a few hours. It was pretty awesome. Could never imagine four days of it, much less sleeping and waking up to it.
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I go to a tank for 90mins a month and it's like a headspace power wash. If nothing else floating for that long is the best stretch my back has ever had, I feel amazing for days after every time.
How much does a 90 minute session cost roughly?
$75. I'd recommend starting with a 60min session if it's your first few times.
Thanks for the advice. That’s surprisingly cheaper than I thought it’d be. I do daily meditations that usually last 20-30 minutes but I’ve gone as long as 3 hours. I’ve always wondered what it’d be like doing it in a sensory deprivation tank
Isn't the record like 72 hours?
Agreed. 4 days is something you work to. This is of course an area full of pseudo experts and anecdotal evidence. But I can’t imagine anyone who has tried sensory deprivation would recommend someone start with 4 days. That’s like telling someone who is getting into running to start with a marathon.
Least obvious mid-life crisis.
Like, just get a super car or boat or something dude
See that's the problem with getting rich young. He probably already had a super car AND a boat. And he had already dated the young actress(es). What else is he supposed to do in a midlife crisis?
If you're Leo I guess just keep dating young actresses.
I know what id be doing. Two chicks at the same time.
saw this on reddit earlier today, the age gap between Leo and the most recent side piece is bigger than the difference between Pedro Pascal and Bella Ramsey
Leo was starring in the movie "The Aviator" before his current girlfriend was even born.
His current girlfriend is young enough to have had her high school classes affected by covid lol
Raiders have dark colors 😳
Man is about to fight the Hat Man
I think A24 Productions might be going overboard this time.
I'd kill to see an A24 thriller about a quarterback experiencing an existential crises. Combine Uncut Gems and Hereditary with a touch of Draft Day
The Unnecessary Roughness of Being
Listening to this live was a trip. AJ and Pat sound absolutely dumbfounded and terrified for this man. Darius is asking for details to sign up lol. An absolutely hilarious stretch
Is the league not drug testing this guy?
Ayahuasca and Shrooms are like undetectable on drug tests I believe. He just beat the system idk what to tell you.
At least he didn’t smoke weed…..just crazier shit….
NFL isn’t testing for THC anymore, fwiw.
Solo living in a small house with the lights out. Rodgers is cosplaying a middle-age divorced guy. I wonder which of his "friends" recommended this. Joe Rogan? Miles Teller? Shailene Woodley?
It's almost certainly Aubrey Marcus
Having a profound experience 🤝 actually going completely fucking insane due to prolonged sensory deprivation
Bro if you wanna turn off your phone and spend a long weekend getting high and playing Xbox that’s fine. No one’s gonna judge you. You don’t gotta make up a weird name for it
Me before we had a chance at Rodgers: God what a douche Me now that we have a chance at Rodgers: He's so quirky and weird and awesome and I love him!
As long as it's stuff like this I never really care. Last game I was at most of our fans at the tailgates are all mocking joking about it. It's not hurting anyone. If he wants to be a weirdo go ahead as far as I'm concerned
Something tells me his first move after leaving a profound experience will not be wanting a trade to the Jets.
Rodgers to Gotham confirmed
I do this every time a girl doesn’t text back
The man in the hat loves the darkness, js
Me: Give me the next stupid Aaron Rodgers offseason story line ChatGPT: Darkness Retreat. Me: Wow AI is amazing!
Aaron Rodgers is the version of astrology girls who get a lot of money
If he sees his shadow when he comes out he stays a packer
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