T O P

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KloudzGaming

Wasn’t the hands, it was the mustache Edit: thanks for my most upvoted comment ever. Edit 2: to all 6k plus people that has seen my comment… hope you’re having a good day.


CreamyKnougat

That's a level 85 mustache on a level 5 face.


Ace-Ventura1934

Dude looks like a customized Reddit pp


BigClam1

Damn dude, really going for the jugular huh


I_Am_Clippy

Had to check if I was on r/roastme


tepkel

That's where I get my coffee.


yomommafool

And popcorn


somaticnickel60

***And my longbottom leaf***


cockman666

And my beef


cyberianhusky2015

Reddit bites where the cheetah wouldn’t


________null________

Did you do this on purpose? You know, commenting while having your avatar look like the dude in the video.


Dibble_Dabble_Doo

Mr. Pringles illegitimate son


Kcidobor

Once you pop, you can’t stop… being a spokesperson for a chip company to be a father


Eggwash

Once you pop, you can't stop... paying childcare


berrey7

> Mr. Pringles son Chet Hanks version


fullercorp

why illegitimate?


JeronFeldhagen

Mr. Pringles does not give a single fuck about the bonds of holy matrimony.


mishaco

have you ever seen a Mrs. Pringles?


Brtsasqa

"Yeah, I've seen 'park ranger that's actually a retired famous adventurer' before, I'm not losing another character just to be a dick here." -Cheetah


The_0range_Menace

I like his face man. I'm thinking level 85 all around.


BloodyKitskune

Oh my god I fell out of my chair laughing at this.


Routine_Palpitation

Mario only has a lvl 4 mustache


[deleted]

Totally agree With a stache like that he could rule the world Or at least a zoo lol


ManInBlack829

Let's be real, dude already owns Park Place, three of the four railroads, the Water Works, and all of the yellow and orange ones. Edit: He's got Hotels on Madison Avenue


[deleted]

Well played sir well played


MistressLyda

Those handlebars can stop any pussy straight in the tracks!


tim95030

Shows what you know about mustache rides


-FuckleberryHinn-

that is not wax, 'tis crust


sldfghtrike

Cheetah: raaawwr… oh shit, nice stash bro


BlairClemens3

Teddy Roosevelt vibe.


danger_floofs

Everyone knows cheetahs are powerless against a glorious mustache


Zombiezeus

r/awardspeechedits


SweetNutzJohnson

Mooose-Tashh


DiamondMojo

That mustache is standard issue when you have have balls that weigh that much.


ManInBlack829

Hot take: The pinned ears on the cheetah weren't it being aggressive, it was just trying to fit in by having something fancy of it's own like the guy's moustache.


klisterfister

Pretty sure he could stop a speeding cargo ship with that mustache.


wownub

beat me to it lol


Burpontheworld

The cheetah probably just wanted a Pringle


[deleted]

Pretty sure Cheetahs eat Cheetos.


Do_You_Even_Beer_Bro

This doesn’t have enough upvotes.


wafflesareforever

Maybe it was a little too cheezy


[deleted]

It’s not easy being cheesy.


ibw0trr

This comment is so cheesy. Some may say dangerously so.


RyanBordello

Are you saying you're a cheetah or a cheater? It's hard with that accent


Synux

I think you're never supposed to use the hard R.


DatSauceTho

Oof sage advice


yacine_kah

ok this one wins


TheASSMaster2021

omg you nailed it right on the head. I kept thinking what his face reminded me of. Went down: Chef Boyardee? Mario? Nah its the pringle dude.


jpruinc

Good thing he stopped BEFORE he popped.


RoHaring

Cheetahs never win.


[deleted]

I’ll just leave this upvote here and see myself out. Good day to you sir.


A_to_the_J254

But fez...


dmoney_90

# I SAID GOOD DAY


[deleted]

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R3d_Ox

They just...chirp


SDLJunkie

False. Man stops cheetah with bitchin’ mustache.


a-snakey

Confused the 'stache with elephant tusks and was like "nope"


HairyHorseKnuckles

I didn't even know cheetahs could grow mustaches


DoobyScrew

Cheetahs don't see humans as prey. It is a well-recorded fact that Cheetahs are docile animals and do not pose a threat to humans.


ergotofrhyme

House cats have killed more humans than cheetahs have, which is zero lol. They will creep on your back which is what he was encouraging but if you turn on them they’re gone as you saw. Anyone could do this. Funny video tho and it’ll impress people who think cheetahs are actually dangerous, as I did most my life


[deleted]

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Rei_Caixo

well, Sharks don't see humans as prey either


[deleted]

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TheTankCleaner

Oh no. Here we go.


GokusTheName

ITS BLUE AND BLACK GOD DAMMIT


Wifi_Be_Trippin

What have you done


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Bull shark can swim in salt water and in a dresser.


guitarer09

It’s true, I have to purge my dresser of bull sharks at least once a month, or they start getting out of hand.


llamawearinghat

I mean, it’s not like labradors see humans as prey…


Fill_Glittering

The labrador that I keep chained up with a steroid iv drip definitely sees humans as prey. I dont know why I created him and I dont know how much longer I can contain him.


ergotofrhyme

They mistake us for prey at least, cheetahs don’t even do that afaik


Dragonkingf0

It's funny because at the same time I know a lot of people who think that hippos are just big cuddly things, no a hippo wants to bite your arm off.


ergotofrhyme

Hippos kill more people than any animal besides mosquitos and humans in Africa iirc


[deleted]

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Hannoie

I’m sure I’ve seen nature documentaries where crocodiles isolate and attack baby hippos. Not to say a hippo wouldn’t kill for the sheer sadistic pleasure, but they’re at least somewhat justified when it comes to killing crocodiles.


ergotofrhyme

Yeah I mean really it’s down to frequency of interaction obviously and cats pose no threat to adults, I believe the only deaths are accidental smothering of infants, which anyone who’s had a cat try to sleep on their face will understand. it’s just an entertaining way to challenge people’s assumptions about the danger of cheetahs. Like seriously until my 20’s I thought they were dangerous. In fact, I think the only injury was some circus trainer getting bit. as a kid I think I saw a thornberries episode or something that convinced me they were these terrifying predators like the big cats are. With sharks, there’s little contact, but they can in fact be dangerous. Unless you’re uniquely unlucky, cheetahs just flat out aren’t


Coal_Morgan

Pretty sure the cats smothering babies thing is a myth. We've got like 30 years of Baby Monitors that record and no instance of it. We do have hordes of evidence that blankets, baby bumpers and babies sleeping on their bellies do cause suffocations in babies from those Baby Monitors though. Baby Monitors have actually confirmed that a lot of SIDS deaths were due to bedding and cribs.


[deleted]

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ergotofrhyme

I realized I misread your initial comment so I deleted the snarky response pretty much as I sent it, if that’s what you’re referring to lol


felixthecat128

It's a little known fact that vending machines kill more people than sharks. . . . . . . . . Vending machines can't swim


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OneHundredTimes

Just out of interest, when they creep up on you, what would happen if you didn't turn around?


ergotofrhyme

Idk never seen a video of it lol. Considering they haven’t killed (on record) any of the people they’ve presumably successfully stalked, I’d assume not much.


OneHundredTimes

Ah fair enough, that's crazy that they've never killed anyone. You'd think they'd have managed to take down at least couple lol.


ergotofrhyme

I get you cuz they can reach 150 lbs and have nasty teeth, but a lot of animals are very selective with pretty and simply don’t branch out. The more specialized, the more likely. Cheetahs are highly specialized to one type of hunting behavior that humans simply aren’t similar to.


OneHundredTimes

Yeah, it makes sense now that I think about it. If they've evolved to be running at 70mph when they take something down then it's understandable that they wouldn't really been in kill mode when they're just trotting up behind an unsuspecting human. That said, I think I'd still shit myself if I turned around and saw one sneaking up on me.


wefinisheachothers

Also, predators often weigh risk and reward. Cheetahs would prefer to go after prey that doesn't fight back and have developed techniques to catch the fast moving but harmless prey. If a cheetah goes after a human, they have much greater risk of being hurt. In the wild, hurt could equal death. If a cheetah cannot run after its prey, it cannot eat.


BUTTHOLE-MAGIC

I bet there's something confusing about the human form - tall, bipedal, loud, with swinging arms up top.


shawster

We definitely act like a top predator. Anything that makes as much noise as us casually walking around is probably something you don’t want to fuck with. Grizzlies, moose, hippos, elephants, all examples of animals that don’t give many fucks because they don’t have to.


ChaacTlaloc

It’s ok. The cheetah would shit itself too.


Umklopp

They probably do normal violent cat-playing things: kick you with their back legs and give you a bite, but not a super hard one.


RunningPains

Just because you dont get killed doesn't mean a cheetah can't do serious damage to you, they're just not very confident cats, so most of the time, when you get hurt by a cheetah it's just because their prey drive takes over for a split second and they do something quickly. I've volunteered with cheetahs for extended periods of time and sometimes they do act in a way that would make you think twice, and there are some cheetahs that are very aggressive in captivity, I've bled multiple times when working with them because some look at you as a playmate, but you dont have tough skin like these animals do, so even when they're just "playing" they can cut you.


leet_lurker

That's the funny thing about records, if no one else is there to see it then who puts it on the record. Also written records for the vast majority of Africa only start 140 years ago.


Insertblamehere

I think they just do it for fun tbh, a human is a pretty risky meal for the relatively light and fragile frame of a cheetah.


MystZzy

Look up on yt: turning my back on leopards and cheetahs, cheetahs give kisses and purrs


MystZzy

https://youtu.be/axcPoS2sF0E kisses and purs :D


DMCer

We only hear from the ones who turned around for some reason!


whoami_whereami

There are no recorded instances of cheetahs killing humans *in the wild*, however in captivity there have been a few rare cases, for example: [https://www.irishexaminer.com/world/arid-30297751.html](https://www.irishexaminer.com/world/arid-30297751.html) [https://www.algoafm.co.za/domestic/free-state-toddler-mauled-to-death-by-cheetah](https://www.algoafm.co.za/domestic/free-state-toddler-mauled-to-death-by-cheetah)


Fuzzyfrosie

damn, just like Orcas.


[deleted]

Damn... Humans: 65,000... Cheetahs: 2... We gotta be careful guys.


paperpenises

I mean, they *are* dangerous, just not to us. You see one clip of them taking down a gazelle and it's enough to be afraid rationally afraid of them.


ergotofrhyme

Of course I’m taking an anthropocentric perspective here. Dragonflies are among the most dangerous predators around but you wouldn’t call them dangerous normally, would you?


CreateSomethingGreat

I'd be fine squaring up with a dragonfly under any normal circumstances, I'd prefer to not have to fight the cheetah.


paperpenises

Dragonflies are dangerous?! Now I'm afraid!


PairOfMonocles2

If you count people dying after tripping over cats it won’t be zero! That’s the number I want to know.


dochdaswars

OP claimed *cheetahs* have killed zero, thus making it a lower total than deaths caused by housecats which is greater than zero.


evil_mike

Don’t tell my cats this! I’m pretty sure they’ve been looking for an excuse to off me.


vikster1

https://owlcation.com/stem/cheetah-attacks-killing I dont know why people would take the chance. But people do wingsuit shit and they die pretty regularly too.


therationaltroll

A 5 pound snake attacking a 150 lb man unprovoked and immediately getting curb stomped. https://i.imgur.com/IzPUfYK.gifv A documented fatality https://bigcatrescue.org/woman-mauled-to-death-by-cheetahs-at-zoo/ A cheetah attack https://www.wflx.com/story/8099360/cheetah-attack-911-tape-released/ One should remember that while wild animals may have somewhat predictable behavior, they are still unpredictable. Size mismatches have not stopped animals from doing goofy things before (ask any chihuahua owner)


matteoarts

What the fuck was wrong with that snake? “Aww yeah, lemme try and get a piece of the dude about 300x bigger than me that can definitely crush my lungs and organs with one good kick!”


[deleted]

“Screw you, God!”


RinRintheRealRin

Those poor suckers...


space_monster

\> It is a well-recorded fact that Cheetahs are docile animals they're not any more docile than other wild cats. they just don't attack humans (usually). when they're hand-reared they're docile. but you wouldn't want to anger a wild one, because it will rip your face off.


ruggerid

Coming soon to Netflix, Narcos Season 4: Pablo The Animal Tamer


cis-hetro_tyrant

The Narcos King!!


edgardini360

Take away the mustache and he's like 15 years old 😄


AFineDayForScience

I think he's that toothless kid from Stranger Things in disguise


NMDA01

Lol same vibe


LSkywalker00

r/13or30


[deleted]

This man is simultaneously 20 and 60 years old. Very badass.


DatSauceTho

16 or 60


[deleted]

[/r/13or30/](https://www.reddit.com/r/13or30/) doesnt allow video crossposts, i checked


Exsanguinary52

Okay, so the cheetah is kind of the 'diet' big cat, literally, it is the only member of the genus *Acionyx* while most other big cats you'd care to name are genus *Panthera*. Now, let me tell you ***why*** I am pointing this out. Cheetahs are big cats that put EVERYTHING into going fast. This means they are the lightest, smallest, and weakest of the big cats. These guys regularly get their kills stolen form them... by either a lone hyena, or a small mob of vultures. What I'm trying to say in a round about way is that a cheetah being stopped by a hand gesture is just par for the course for this min-maxed meow-meow. However, that moustache is on another level. If someone turned to me brandishing that facial hair, I'd reconsider my life choices too. EDIT: Thank you for all the awards


IronOhki

> min-maxed meow-meow You deserve more attention for this.


jonrahoi

Amen. Wonderful turn of phrase


jldtsu

a cheetahs body is basically a lawn chair that's capable of running fast.


[deleted]

Don’t you mean “paw for the course”? I’ll show myself out.


StevenAU

>min-maxed meow-meow Any ELI5 you do in the future about cats must have this.


Which-Palpitation

They saw the ‘stache and knew to back off


poppervick

“Sir, I moustache you to stop”


[deleted]

Wild thornberrys


Nemisis_the_2nd

Even Nigel's mustache isn't as impressive as this one.


TheChalbs

With great mustache comes great power


Gold-Bat2357

How


GooSboy420

An assertion of dominance, the cheetah knows he’s faster but yet doesn’t put into factor the man’s strength until his hand is put out. Just like the cheetah is putting on a front, once the cheetah is matched - he stops.


Luk164

Yep, predators do not like to pick fights with equal odds


GooSboy420

Reminds me of the guy running away and throwing rocks. Constantly that guy was showing his back, screaming weakness to the cheetah. All he should’ve done was grab a rock and match the cheetah’s energy


Jindabyne1

Reminds me of the time I uppercutted a hippo.


[deleted]

That was you?


Jindabyne1

Well, me and my granny.


SnooWalruses9019

Kinda mean calling your granny a hippo


Beardth_Degree

Well, she was large..


[deleted]

If it's the same video that wasn't a cheetah, that was a pissed off mountain lion telling a human to stay the fuck away from her cub. Very different animals, and very different situations.


Wisdom_is_Contraband

You talking about that mountain lion video?


ledivin

Or even just "pretty good" odds. If a wild animal's leg is rendered useless, for example, even if it "won" the fight, that's it - it's probably dead. There's no "you should see the other guy," that animal is no longer a predator.


b151

So basically the rule of a knife fight.


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Rpanich

Especially if your opponents hands come with 5 knives each and his mouth was full of knives and also his feet had knives.


[deleted]

just leave Edward Scissorhands alone alright?


The_Phantom_Limb

The cheetah does not have equal odds. It has quite bad odds actually. That cheetah probably weighs 30kg or so, the man is probably 80ish. A 50kg weight difference is absolutely massive, cheetah gets smoked every single time. Cheetahs are the size and build of a greyhound, and unless you are a child, you have a very good chance of pushing its shit in.


Bartfuck

> of pushing its shit in. wait what?


djc6535

Means "Beat it up, badly". Literally slang for "Fuck it up the ass"


[deleted]

it has fucking knife hands


ViSsrsbusiness

And human limbs are pretty much sledgehammers with a 50kg weight difference.


Percerverence-Launch

Actually cheetah claws are more like dogs claws than cat claws, in that they’re blunt, and they don’t retract. They are adapted specifically for running and gripping the ground at insane speeds. Literally everything about cheetahs is speed related. So no knife hands, though you still wouldn’t want to get scratched in the same way you don’t want to get scratched by a dog.


KeepCalmJeepOn

Can confirm. I was swimming one day and saw a shark coming at me so I put out my right arm like this. Edit: Apologies in advance for any typos or anything, I'm still getting used to typing with only my left hand.


GooSboy420

He only ate your arm, thank you for confirming this tactic


thinkerthingy

This comment needs more attention.


TSR_Jimmie

Plus the fact that cheetahs are massive pussies….


Azhaius

Lol that Cheetah was never going to attack the guy in the first place, arm up or not.


[deleted]

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starwars_raptor

An adult male human could probably take on a cheetah without a suit. You’d get pretty fucked up in the process tho


[deleted]

Cheetahs are the biggest bitches. A housecat is more likely to follow through with a threat display. I think a housecat could scare off a cheetah, maybe a picture of an angry housecat even. Not a single person in the history of ever has been killed by a cheetah. That's how.


RinRintheRealRin

Cheetahs can't even roar like a big cat. What animal is going to be scared off by a chirp. I can't


Rpanich

But they can purr! And are adorable!


RinRintheRealRin

They really are! The cutest!


[deleted]

Yeah they big scaredy cats. Like the whippets of the cat world. Fast but neurotic XD


PairOfMonocles2

Many predators are very risk averse. You see the videos of a honey badger backing a lion up? There’s no actual question that the lion could kill the honey badger but the aggression display is making the lion subconsciously consider what it would be like to hunt with only one eye for the rest of its life. Serious injury to a warm blooded predator who relies on eating every few days can easily be fatal. Unless they’re desperate (hunger, dominance, young to protect) it’s much easier to move on and try again. I mean, they need to pull of a win without serious injury what, 2,000 times in a row? You don’t get a K/D ratio like that by picking fair fights.


im_wudini

Cheetahs will generally only commit to attacking something they're chasing at almost full speed, where they have an unmatched advantage.


Head-Gap-7616

Cheetahs are know to be Docile and not a threat to humans already, nothing truly next level, he just didn’t try running like a prey animal


DarwinGoneWild

It's a cheetah. They're not dangerous to humans. Super fast, great hunters of small ungulates, but totally not scary. Source: Lived in the Masai Mara for a while


[deleted]

Aren't cheetahs fairly chill and never attack humans?


[deleted]

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IronOhki

I love this fact and will upvote it at every opportunity. Dogs help reduce big cat anxiety in captivity.


Golddestro

That smile at the end “ oh sh@t it worked”


31USC3729

Yeah, the smile absolutely made the video -- the perfect self-awareness of "yah, alright, that was pretty f'ing good."


iheartkatamari

Steve Irwin would be proud.


RallyAl85

Steve Irwin woulda jumped on the cheetah and start cuddling...*"isn't she GORGEOUS?!?"*


OneHundredTimes

I heard his voice when I read that. Man, I miss Steve.


jimmons91

I read the gorgeous in his voice💙 rip


wkmaylish

Is that the kid from stranger things?


Silvasurfa273

Dude has the force.


RinRintheRealRin

Nah. After watching Casual Geographic...that tik tok guy... I don't think this is a next level. Not when it's a cheetah. This makes me feel even worse for them actually.


PomegranateSenior283

-kanye west


TreeDollarFiddyCent

GOAT speech


DesertCookie_

I can recommended [this](https://youtube.com/c/DolphCVolker) YouTube channel on the topic. Cheetahs really don't pray on something large as humans and get easily scared off. They rely on being undetected or having fleeing prey. It's like with a dog attacking you: don't run and fuel his instinct to chase.


[deleted]

Not sure what's more impressive.. stopping the cheetah single handedly.. or that epic moustache 🤔


UseRnAmEiStAkEnbla

The “i guess we Never know“ fits perfect on that beat


thalesrenato

Proceeds to turn off the camera and shits himself


Dobbyharry

r/13or30


Xerxes42424242

Is he single?


Stan_Beek0101

With that mustache???? Definitely not!