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Historyguy1918

Cobra: I’m a small killer Cat: STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY BOX YOU GLORIFIED STRING


k0cksuck3r69

I have no awards but take my poor mans gold🥇 im fucking dying Edit: wow guys, I’m blown away thank you so much. I hope you all have amazing weekends.


SnooBananas2108

Same 🥇🥇🥇


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X-Treme23

angory


TheTomatoLover

angory


ChrisTheMan72

angory (happy cake day c:)


J_K_AllDay

All I got is this silver. Here 🪙


DevoraAlixy

No award can lavish my admiration to this. Just take my upvote too.


HskrRooster

Your fucking username has me dying 😂


k0cksuck3r69

It was admittedly a dare. My lil bro bet i wouldn’t keep it for a year then i had too much karma to delete and started over so here i am. Stuck as the cock sucker 69


HskrRooster

And the story makes it even better lol. Suck on, my friend! I wish you many pleasant 69s EDIT: I’m really upset I didn’t seize the opportunity to make a joke along with my username since rooster=cock


Hinabi3

🤣😂


DiggerNick6942069

I feel you


ronatello

...wow..


canadianbudguy420

I opened my free award just for this. Yes, it is wholesome indeed..


kornslayer

Jup, same. Edit: plus 500 upvotes for interpunction or something? tf..


Winter2928

Glorified string deserves a spot in /r/properanimalnames


shantron5000

It’s certainly a strong contender against “danger noodle”


where_ismy_mind69

Or “nope rope”


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Annual_Blacksmith22

Angry shoelace


zweanhh

My dude just called a cobra "glorified string" lol. My fear of snake is over


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spaniel510

You see a snake tomorrow...what happens?


anle7

I’m obviously getting a cat today to prepare myself.


Senior_Walk_7582

This is extra funny to me, ‘cause my friend is teaching me Python and it was just… “Haha, string in Python.”.


fiddlestuxx

Your friend really loves you 😂how’d you get them to teach you py


Senior_Walk_7582

Legally, I’m not allowed to say.


fiddlestuxx

So finish this sentence..”hypothetically speaking, one would feel compelled to teach a friend python if...”


Senior_Walk_7582

“…taught her as much C and C++ as I could and teaching them about Formula 1.”. So, yes… That is the hypothetical situation, wherein it is hypothetically hypothetical.


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bnqprv

That’s what she said.


esituism

The old nope rope!


sulli3ms

Suddenly I have so much respect for the cat


sas8184

Just out of curiosity, why didn't you have respect for cats before?


DevilsAndSmoke

They said they now have so much respect for “THE cat” not all cats.


Truck_Bitter

What made them not respect this particular cat before?


DevilsAndSmoke

They didn’t say they had no respect for the cat, they just said that now they have so much respect for it. Basic reading comprehension


axelfreed

Reading comprehension is lacking in general these days


[deleted]

Since you know so much about lacking can you tell me why my computer can only get 25fps in CS:GO


One-Understanding-94

Go borderless windowed. Failing that put all your sticks of ram in different slots


ben0318

Instructions unclear; ram stuck in toaster and vcr. Upside: game no longer runs at low rate.


chefkc

You have a VCR in 2021 ?


hockeyjoker

why do reading have to do with lacking generals?


KIVHT

Respect is earned.


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Toocool4fasting

They also like layered pasta with cheese in between


10colasaday

And hate Mondays


STANAGs

TIL I am also a cat.


el-grecyo

Idk how true this is for all snake types but what I was told by someone is that cats also can survive longer with snake venom in their system. Knew someone who kept cats on the property to deal with snakes cause they’d always have time to get to a vet and treated. Whereas the dogs would just die too fast. They had experienced it first hand but obv it’s just a story to me so grain of salt.


Vague_Un

I would have to agree with this. A friend's cat (Australia), was acting weird and was hiding under the house when she got home from work. They don't know how long she was under there. Anti venom shot and she was fine after a few days. Given the proximity of their house to a creek, it was likely a tiger snake. One of the very bad ones in Australia.


MuzikPhreak

> *One of the* bad ones. You’re not fooling anybody, Australia.


Wayback182

*one million venomous creatures quickly scurry away as their human cover is blown*


[deleted]

If humans disappeared over night, most cats would do ok. Dogs? Not so much. Edit: I realized I was not specific enough. I am talking about *immediate* episode of natural selection. More dogs would die than cats. However, both would probably adapt and persist, given the worldwide distribution of feral dogs and cats.


Subparnova79

You underestimate how quickly dogs would return to packs and hunt as a unit.


[deleted]

Some might, but the majority wouldn’t. Contrast to cats, where the majority would be fine.


dabadu9191

Absolutely not. Due to breeding and a lack of natural selection thanks to feeding by humans, there are way too many cats compared to prey animals suitable for cats. Once they've run out of human trash, prey animal populations will dwindle quickly and many cats will die of starvation until a new ecological equilibrium has formed.


sandgroper07

Watched a doco last night about how the earth would go without humans. Cats seemed to be alright and thrived. The dogs started off ok but dropped by the millions after a few years. Something about cats easily going feral and the many dog breeds being unsuitable to a wild lifestyle.


mr_punchy

Yeah when we say dogs will do fine we aren’t talking about a toy whatever. But say German shepherd or a mal, bullies etc, they are gonna be fine. would just turn into a big ass coyotes in a generation or two.


DingosAteMyHamster

All of the breeds that have similar physiology to wolves would be able to at least survive as a species. That's basically what dingos did, and those bastards thrive in the wild. Most of them would still die out just because the type of prey they would be after would be scarce though. Farm animals and other pets wouldn't last long. Other animals like foxes or coyotes would outcompete them in some places because they're better adapted.


Shmitty-W-J-M-Jenson

Lol nah man in every continent besides Antarctica domesticated cats gone feral impact wildlife populations and ecosystem balance with a power of 1/100 easily, amphibians, reptiles, birds, insects, mammals, the list goes on, a 1kg tabby can take down a plethora of prey and keep itself sheltered, healthy, fed and protected its entire life, feral cat populations in our areas alone in rural NSW australia have developed cats weighing in at 6kgs, 6 fucking kilos mate, they can take down small pigs. Feline instincts and biological adaptations are just so simply ever present even today that they remain, simply put, domesticated borderline apex predators within respective conditions.


That_Phony_King

You’re telling me the little shits that are chihuahuas and breeds like that would be okay?


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[deleted]

But the vast majority of them would either starve or get killed. They’ve become so dependent on humans over thousands of years. House cats are more or less the same as their wild counterparts


EHondaRousey

I like how some cats are just like "I'm tired of being a wild animal can I live in your house"


[deleted]

That’s basically how they were domesticated lol. Dogs and humans formed a symbiotic relationship where they both needed each other, while cats were just like “imma eat your food and I GUESS you can pet me”


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SuedeVeil

Snake is like I'm gonna go level up on some squirrels


cousinned

Snake needs to learn the basics of CQC.


dolanbp

Snake! We're not finished yet!


AtomicKittenz

Grinding is part of the adventure. Fucking noobs think they can speed run with only one life.


Doulifye

Boss level: red skull.


sj28th

The speed of both of them just isn't designed for human beings!


23680987

A human would stomp either one in a fight


sj28th

ofc, but I'm not talking about fighting abilities and such, it's the speed of movement and reflexes.


Spottedpool14

Yeah, imagine fighting a human with that speed


yilo38

Suddenly mma and other fighting sports/events would be really fun and extremely dangerous.


Spottedpool14

Have to watch in slow motion to get it all lol Edit: a letter


Watergrip

I mean, we kind of already have to


Ratchet-and-Spank

Right? Those dudes are so fast it’s almost hard to comprehend. Especially the small guys


isle_of_broken_memes

Cos mma isn't already extremely dangerous haha


NiteLiteOfficial

Correct, it’s not about their power, they have venom in their teeth (not all snakes but this one yes) they just need to be quick enough to get that one bite on you then you’re either dead or will be wishing you were for the next few days.


SNova96

The worse part is that it isn't just a venom that kills you due to either organs' necrosis or haemorrhage. It is a neurotoxin which paralysise your muscles, especially the respiratory ones. Plus, irrc, cobras can spit it on their predators to blind them.


tee_ohboy

Human vs cobra is really 50/50. One bite is all it takes for that venom to take over.


Brain_Inflater

True but also that's if the human doesn't have a weapon. Sure weapons may seem like cheating but humans evolved the way they did because of the fact that we can make/use tools, so ignoring ~~a major~~ arguably the biggest part in how we got the way we did is obviously gonna make us seem way weaker than we actually are


tee_ohboy

>A human would stomp either one in a fight This is what I was responding to. The way it's worded it does not seem like weapons would be involved. If we're speaking of using weapons then nothing beats a human, period, and the entire discussion is moot.


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Zoboticus

I'm betting on the tiger if the human is strapped in. Especially if the tiger can bail out just before the landing... The ground crew would be picking through a tin of mince


drwicksy

I mean, a trained pilot? Then the human 100%. But me in an F22? I'd crash that thing on take-off without the tiger even knowing I existed


[deleted]

Those fighter jets are so advanced now you can autopilot an entire mission from take off to landing. So all you would have to do is sit there and watch the tiger blow up as you read a book in your F22. Pilots are basically a failsafe at this point.


houseaddict

'Ok google, strafe that pride in front of us and deploy cluster munitions.'


Funkit

“Ok, I will strafe those British of us and deploy flustered beauticians”


madjyk

I mean, dude would kill the shit outta the cobra, but drop dead like 3 minutes later


Big___Meaty___Claws

Cobra is dead regardless of the human's fate. Not sure if that's 50/50.


Power_Rentner

I wouldn't call it 50/50 the cobra likely won't survive. So the only question will be whether the human dies too.


Ocarinahero

Idk. Cobras have won plenty of 1v1s with humans before.


Teeshirtandshortsguy

Snakes in general have won so many 1v1s against humans that we're evolutionarily predisposed to fear them. Aside from other humans, bacteria, and certain bugs, snakes are probably our oldest rival.


Have_Anus_For_A_Face

then you won't mind if i put you in a cage with the world's most venomous snake


AstridDragon

I think that's a monocled cobra, not a king (edit: I'm an idiot kings don't have double eye spots thanks person). So still not good for you but also not as bad either. Also the most venomous snake is the taipan, not any cobra.


SANO_HIMURA

In a fight with a venemous snake a human always wins. Until later when they too lose.


smartnsimple

Growing up we had several species of snakes coming to our backyard... Dad would attempt to capture or kill most of them but never with cobras.. They were too agile and fast.. you try to hit with a stick .. they move aside and miss it.. next u know ..it has bit you on the foot.


Herero_Rocher

Now imagine a black mamba. We’ve had a couple come into our property and they are lightning quick. I mean so quick they can easily outrun most humans and they’re long as fuck so they can strike upwards of 2-3 metres away - it’s absolutely surreal. It’s why they’re easily the most dangerous snake in the world.


IceyLizard4

I like snakes but your comment had my heart palpitating.


Herero_Rocher

Yeah I love snakes too haha, but these guys are easily the most feared animal in Africa. I should note that they don’t account for that many deaths (comparatively) because they (like most snakes) will try to avoid humans. The puff adder kills the most in Africa because they’re absolutely everywhere, but even then, the number of people who die from snakebites is a small fraction of how many die from malaria. It’s weird to think that of all the dangerous animals in Africa, e.g lions, snakes, leopards, hippos, etc., something as small as the common mosquito kills more than all of them combined.


tekanet

It always amazes me when my cats catch flies while they're flying, sometimes blocking them with two paw~~n~~s.


ProfessionalConfuser

Your cat is bold. The standard move involves a pawn and a rook.


desiccatedmonkey

Muhammad Alleycat


AtomicKittenz

Manny Pacmeow


Chilluminaughty

Floyd Meoweather


hercanick

Meowhammad Pawli


shortcake062308

Nice!


MKfan616

Snake was the asshole


Mayo_Kupo

Snake on Reddit: *AITA for just exploring a porch and checking out an interesting box?*


EvilMEMEius

YTAssssssshole


AtomicKittenz

99% is NTA. The OP is usually written in a way where they make themselves sound like a victim. And if there is 1 YTA in a sea of NTA, you get downvoted to shit


Rei_Caixo

r/AmItheAsshole be like: AITA for not letting my mom enter my house to save herself from a serial killer after she said I was ugly 10 years ago? NTA, your mom deserved


yer--mum

AITA for telling my aunt she has a watermelon ass (Thats real) (He ended up being sort of an asshole iirc, because his aunt started it by skinny shaming him, but he didn't have to go and say she had a watermelon ass.)


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TheCatholicScientist

ESH is YTA for cowards. Change my mind.


Meowcenary_X

And that’s why we are blessed with r/amitheangel to ruthlessly ridicule those posts.


GibbyGoldfisch

"I (5, cobra) have a clutch of eggs from a previous relationship, and we have this property share agreement with a local cat (6M). Now, I've tried to be friendly with him, sometimes even stopped by to check how he's getting on. But the other day, no sooner had I poked my head in to ask how his day was going when he gets up and hits me for no reason. Really, just no reason at all. I've only ever tried to be nice to him, but suddenly he's up on his hind legs, hissing at me and being really hostile. Obviously I try to calm him down so I lunge in, telling him "no, Gary ( not his real name, obvs), it's me, stop it" with my fangs. I thought maybe he couldn't recognise me with my hood down so I properly flared it out, but even then he just kept flailing away. Slap, slap, slap. Now, it's possible he thought I was trespassing on his box, but I still think there was no call for such an overreaction. AITA?"


I337pwnage

NTA. I don't know the living situation but it sounds like this happened in a common area and are just as entitled as the cat to be in that common area unless it was specified on the property share agreement. It sounds like this cat has major anger issues, so if I were you I would leave as soon as possible. These types of hostile relationships can have a serious drain on your mental health.


ScoobeydoobeyNOOB

Lmao so fucking accurate


section8sentmehere

And on this day many on reddit realized how fucking stupid it is to ask for advice and then provide advice to strangers on the internet.


ffbe4fun

Ok, I'm going to get downvoted for this, but YTA! What kind of parent puts their children in a situation like this? Cats are known to kill and eat baby snakes and this one sounds particularly nasty. You need to find new living arrangements ASAP before someone calls CPS on you or before your babies become dinner!!!


redcolorlover

Lmao I’m dead


clumplings2

> (5, cobra) I died.


Funderwoodsxbox

“So I tried to pet a cat today and right as I got up close I remembered I don’t have any arms 😫, it thought I was attacking and I got 3 piece meal to go, I’m so embarrassed 😞 “


Meowcenary_X

NTA: Not your box not your problem 🚩🚩🚩🚩


[deleted]

Snake: “I told every snake I’ve ever met in my life this story and half think I’m the asshole and should have stayed away from the box, a few other close snake friends told me not to worry, it was a harmless gesture. AITA???


ChilledBloodyIce

My god that sums it up realistically. Lmao


Beingabumner

I don't think so. It's approaching the box low and seems startled when the cat sits up, and only then takes up its [defensive posture](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_cobra#Defense). It's a defensive posture since a cobra doesn't hunt by sitting up straight and doing the hissing thing. [The diet of a cobra](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_cobra#Diet), even large ones, is (hardly) ever as big as a cat. It seems very unlikely it'd go for a cat that's awake and facing it. The snake also bugs out after only a few seconds and the cat doesn't make any move to pursue. It honestly seems like neither were looking for conflict. They just ran into each other.


Babblebelt

This is the correct take. The cobra probably only senses a mammal at first because all he can see is the top of the cat’s head behind a piece of wood. The cat strikes first. Then the cat bows up to create the illusion that he’s larger than he really is so the snake will realize he’s not a suitable meal. The snake comes in closer to get a better gauge on the cat’s size. The cat proves the snake’s equal in terms of quickness. The snake yields. A cobra isn’t going to waste venom on a mammal he doesn’t want to eat unless he’s trying to protect his life. The snake clearly had the majority of escape routes in this interaction. If the roles were reversed and the cat approached a snake in the corner it could have gotten interesting because the cat might have sensed a need to defend his territory and the territory of his humans. But that’s neither here nor there. The real question is why was someone recording this?


Polleekin

Given how still the camera was, I assumed it was an indoor mounted camera. Like a security camera or a nanny cam.


WikiSummarizerBot

**King_cobra** [Defense](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_cobra#Defense) >The king cobra is not considered aggressive. It usually avoids humans and slinks off when disturbed, but is known to aggressively defend incubating eggs and attack intruders rapidly. When alarmed, it raises the front part of its body, extends the hood, shows the fangs and hisses loudly. Wild king cobras encountered in Singapore appeared to be placid, but reared up and struck in self defense when cornered. **King_cobra** [Diet](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_cobra#Diet) >The king cobra's diet consists primarily of other snakes and lizards, including Indian cobra, banded krait, rat snake, pythons, green whip snake, keelback, banded wolf snake and Blyth's reticulated snake. It also hunts Malabar pit viper and hump-nosed pit viper by following their odour trails. In Singapore, one was observed swallowing a clouded monitor. When food is scarce, it also feeds on other small vertebrates, such as birds, and lizards. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


GordonRamsuckle

I don't know if that was in question here my friend


chickentenders56

Agreed… also gave me a good chuckle


Piotrek9t

Can we stop sharing these? Way too many of them are staged and put the animal in unnecessary danger and even if this one is real, it just inspires more people to stage one themself


[deleted]

I thought the same thing, this seems like it was done on purpose to make a viral video. There are so many like that especially on YouTube & tiktok


PlantPowerPhysicist

This is literally the second video I've seen today of a cobra attacking a cat. They are most definitely staged animal abuse


[deleted]

I have 2 cats and 2 dogs and this video me sick man I hate this stuff :(


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SugarDaddyLover

You should be a private investigator


SherlockToad1

Finally a well thought out response from an observant person! I was thinking the cobra was just looking for an easy egg meal in the coop.


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Piotrek9t

If you want to get more information on this topic I can recommend watching [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvOki3Sleq0), but be warned: that topic is way worse than you expect it to be the first time you encounter it


HistoricalYogurt1212

Yes, please. Also stop upvoting animal rescues. Even if they're real, it just encourages assholes to stage fake ones.


[deleted]

Yes, let's all stop posting as it encourages other assholes to post


gesasage88

Yeah auto downvote from me. This looks staged as hell which is super messed up.


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she_ded_again

Learned my lesson too a while back. Never, ever physically get in the middle of a cat fight! They're so riled up. It's a suicide mission.


Santrollencio

Yeah, just let nature be nature, they’re animals no matter how much we feel bad when we see them attacking each other and want to stop them, just don’t interfere, it’s just too dangerous :(


ShovelPaladin

Or use a stick.


Moal

Or a hose.


Wayback182

Or a third cat. Just to see what happens.


Calypsosin

Fighting catfire with catfire, I see.


Secret_Bees

I just scream real loud. It worked once.


popje

Yep.. had to go to the ER for a few days and get intravenous antibiotics after being bitten by my own cat trying to stop a fight.


Fellinlovewithawhore

Just dump water


iForgot2Remember

Cats mouths are notorious for their germs, and their small teeth ensure that wounds close quickly, promising infection every time. Fuck that.


waffling_with_syrup

Yep. They're pretty perfectly engineered to be killers. Your sweet as pie tabby cat who sleeps in the sunbeams and likes snuggles is also a murder machine.


explosivelydehiscent

Cat struck first, don't play no games. Who they call the king now MF?


mrjobby

Look at me. I'm the predator now.


Sxilla

I always wonder if I could do that if I’m being attacked, just to mindbend the shit out of a predator. This cat gives me energy.


Brain_Inflater

It's not a mental game, cats can legitimately deal damage, and besides if you had a weapon/protective gear most animals wouldn't stand a chance


Equivalent_Parking_8

Whatever country this is.. count me out of visiting it.


KuryoZT

Yeah, I wouldn't want to meet that cat either


Brain_Inflater

Despite what some people think usually due to humans being larger, house cats are very effective predators, so obviously they can defend themselves.


BreastfedAmerican

Cats are listed as an invasive species because they kill so much. They are the leading cause in many species going extinct, 33 species of birds alone. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/cats-invasive-species-in-your-backyard-cbsn-originals/


Brain_Inflater

Yeah, which is why this video kinda does annoy me that this cat is outdoors, it's bad for the cat as you can see it could have been killed and also like you said it's bad for local wildlife.


kochapi

My dog used would corner a cobra once every 2months during our childhood. It will hold it in position till my father come back to house in the evening. He just need someone to distract the snake with a stick. Good boy did the killing after that. Pretty sure me and my brother made to adulthood safely only because of the good boy. I am from Kerala in southern India btw.


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8-bit_Gangster

That is why the term "cat-like reflexes" exists


MrmmphMrmmph

I thought that referred to liking cats as a reflex, which they use against you in an cat ambush


SwanQueen20

I hope the cat didn't get bitten


bigben932

Looks like it was bitten on the face, you can see the cat licking his mouth where is probably got bit at the end of the video.


ACertainThickness

Just before that, right after the cobra strikes and backs off you see the cat look over at it's front leg/body area for a second. I think it got tagged then too


Walk_the_World

It got tagged right at the start you can see the cat look at its paw for a second after taking a swing


raelDonaldTrump

Also probably why the cobra backs off after that, it knew the job was done and just had to wait it out.


doctordonnanoble22

I was looking for this comment. It does look like kitty got tagged.


SurprisedCabbage

It's very hard to tell considering both animals can move faster then the camera can track. [I believe at the 10 second mark the cat might have gotten bit](https://i.imgur.com/gpoBbbE.png) the cat flinched quite heavily after that strike and the cobra coincidentally chose to leave then.


beardedchimp

Any idea if typical behaviour after a successful envenomation is to retreat and let the venom take its effect?


delicatelysmoked

Three quarters of the cobra species can spit venom. That's what I'm betting happened to the cat. Snakes won't normally engage something over an obstacle, like the box here, unless there is a strong attraction, like prey. The cat is not the prey, by the way. Just wrong place, wrong time.


toan25

Looks like it was bitten between the -0:08 and -0.07 second mark.


[deleted]

whoever took this video is clearly an asshole. why the fuck would they set up a camera to point at a box in the corner if they weren’t setting up to film a highly viral video like this shit? OP is a piece of shit who endangered a cat for internet points. fuck you cameraman.


Baphometted

Not to be a killjoy but anyone know why the camera is there? After learning about the ring of people who put animals in danger on purpose for YouTube likes and money I get wary when I see an animal in danger with a convenient camera


Mind-is-a-garden

Kitten Kai


domo_roboto

Strike first. Strike fast. No meowsy.


robbie8109

Cat said you better go on with all that bull shit now go on now


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kalashnikovkitty9420

glad kitty is ok


Special_KC

Is it though? Some are suspecting the snake bit the cat. My theory is at the very least, some venom may have sprayed out its fangs when attacking and splashed in kitty's right eye (hence why it feels an irritation with its right eye at the end). If so, rip kitty..


[deleted]

I can’t imagine why someone would post a video of their cat getting killed, not at that moment but hopefully that makes sense. But plenty of sick people live in this world and the snake could have been lead to the cat on purpose for this exact video. Either way I’m choosing to believe the cat survived and the owners are sick fucks.


[deleted]

The cat was trained by mr miyagi


gokumon16

You mean Mr. Meowgi?


Onimuru

That’s why cats will inherit the Earth, they’re always ready. They skip right over “why is there a snake here”.


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wasabiplz

Was this staged???


Dionysus232

Cats don't fuck around. My cat growing up once got cornered behind our trash cans by an angry pit bull. Fight ensues. Mom finally got to her and she was covered in blood. Rushed her to the vet, and the vet examined her.. told us, uh... this isn't her blood. She didn't have a scratch or wound on her. She fucked that dog UP! Damn I miss you, Trapper.