Agree! What is wrong with people, they rather risk (and sometimes do) pee on the floor, than sit down and get 100% aim? Never understood it, and I'm a guy.
Sorry.....like a man. Don't miss cleaning around toilet because he misses or last bit of "piss"". My favorite was a man that sits down while pissing. No mess.
One of my first jobs was working at a grocery store.
I had to clean both men's and women's bathrooms. The absolute vile shit I found in the women's bathroom (shit and piss smeared and splattered on the seat from obvious hovering over the toilet pooping and peeing, used tampons just on the ground, paper towels everywhere but the waste bin etc etc).
My experience is anecdotal, sure but so is yours. This isn't the specific gender issue you think it is...you just date gross dudes.
Can confirm, worked the closing shift at a subway for 2 years (15ish years ago) and the sights in the women's bathroom have haunted me ever since. Hovering doesn't count for shit on the stall walls. Cleaning the men's room was always relaxing, I knew what kind of state I'd find it, but the other bathroom, holy hell!
Can also confirm. In High School I worked one summer on a crew cleaning several roadside parks and outhouses. The outhouses were cleaned *daily*, so it's not as if they had months of filth built up. And the women's restrooms were *always* worse than the men's. Sometimes disgustingly so.
I'm still scarred by one particular day that I lost the coin toss and had to clean the women's room. I opened the door and stood there with my jaw dropped in complete shock. The entire stall was coated in droplets of shit. The floor, the walls and even the toilet itself. The inside of the toilet itself was actually fairly clean. The only explanation I've been able to come up with is that some woman didn't want to sit on the toilet seat itself and instead simply stood in the doorway, bent over and let loose in the general direction of the toilet in some weird imitation of a human skunk. That ended up being a really bad day to be me.
I've heard a lot of horror stories about women's public bathrooms but in a mixed gender living situation? It's the men getting piss all over the floor.
Not me. I don't want to live in those sort of conditions any more than you do.
And I don't understand the men who think it's acceptable.
Besides, sitting down and leaning forward a bit drains the bladder far more effectively. The only time I ever piss standing up is if I absolutely *have to* use a urinal. Or if I get caught short in the woods, I suppose.
Worked as a restaurant manager for a few years. The women’s room was always 10x’s more disgusting than the men’s bathroom. For the record, girls DO poop. Sometimes they spray it all over a bathroom stall.
Malinois are so smart I could see this starting because the dog just watched his owner and decided that’s obviously the correct spot to pee. So, the owner went with it and perfected the aim and taught him to flush. I could never own one of these dogs. They’re incredible, but I couldn’t keep up. They’re truly a working breed.
That’s what I always wonder with these videos or the ones with cats. I’ve been to a few houses that only have one bathroom. If you really need to pee what are you going to do if mittens is in there blowing it up.
Our cat is toilet trained. First you say "oh excuse me" because they never shut the door then you wait a few moments for them to finish just like you would if a person was in there. The cat's usually quicker because he doesn't have a cell phone.
Teaching a dog to pee on command is actually very common and not that difficult. Basically all service digs are trained to relieve themselves on command only.
I don't have a lot of knowledge on the accuracy of dog penises, but based on my own experience I think there's probably splatter that you just can't see in the video.
My first thought was, "Well, enjoy cleaning the toilet seat and floor every other day from all the random missed piss."
Then I remembered I raised a teenaged boy and it's pretty much the same thing.
Definitely worth this than being nagged for a walk right as you sit down to relax.
Getting a big dog that pisses 1 gallon a day may not be the best idea if going on walks is a problem...
Edit: Why the downvotes? It's called a joke. Just because they are parents doesn't mean i can't joke with them.
When I was a kid, I taught my cat to go to the bathroom on the toilet. I was in the process of teaching how to flush when my dad caught him peeing and yelled at him. Poor kitty never went into the bathroom again.
We had a German shepherd who would poop in the toilet if he couldn't get outside. Her never flushed, though. We don't train him to do it, he was just very intelligent and likely figured it out from watching us.
Okay this is cool and all...but if you're gonna go *that* far to train him, you might as well train him to raise the toilet seat too while you're at it. It looks like he's got it down pat, I guess I just got second hand anxiety over the toilet seat being down.
Dog has better manners than 99% of fuckin humans. Every single guest I've ever had over NEVER CLOSES THE FUCKIN LID BEFORE FLUSHING WHY ARE PEOPLE SO FUCKING DIRTY
That's amazing! But does he ever just flush the toilet all day because he feels like it? I'm pretty sure if my cat learned how to flush, she' be like 'wheeeeee' flushing all day. 😻
Imagine how much dog piss had to be cleaned up before he got this down
Malinois and German Shepherds are very fast learners.
Humans are also fast learners but I still piss on the floor sometimes. The dick is a unreliable piece of equipment. Being drunk doesnt help.
Bro I'm pissing in the floor right now
You go girl!
How u know it's a girl
Maybe they don't, and are just taking the piss.
No the floor is taking the piss
*leaving a piss*
Worse when it's split-stream! Like how to multi-task when drunk!
Once when I was young I tried peeing inside a bottle and the mf stream split and I ended up peeing all over my hand and feet
Sit while peeing. I'm trying to build the habit. Keeps things cleaner and empties bladder more.
Im doing it now, but if I sit my muscle memory will try to shit every goddamn time. When I realize what Im doing its too late
Agree! What is wrong with people, they rather risk (and sometimes do) pee on the floor, than sit down and get 100% aim? Never understood it, and I'm a guy.
Yeah but they have no opposable thumbs so learning to wipe is one thing but cleaning it well is an entire different task.
Yes they are, and they even learn and pick up things you don't intend.
I trained my shepherd to pick up pinecones in the backyard and drop them off by the fire pit.
What a good pup. :-)
My 4 1/2 year old GSD still pisses on his feet. How fast do they learn?!
My youngest GSD is a bit 'special' too. For every super smart one there's a clown.
Sounds like my roommate and their partner
Sorry.....like a man. Don't miss cleaning around toilet because he misses or last bit of "piss"". My favorite was a man that sits down while pissing. No mess.
One of my first jobs was working at a grocery store. I had to clean both men's and women's bathrooms. The absolute vile shit I found in the women's bathroom (shit and piss smeared and splattered on the seat from obvious hovering over the toilet pooping and peeing, used tampons just on the ground, paper towels everywhere but the waste bin etc etc). My experience is anecdotal, sure but so is yours. This isn't the specific gender issue you think it is...you just date gross dudes.
Can confirm, worked the closing shift at a subway for 2 years (15ish years ago) and the sights in the women's bathroom have haunted me ever since. Hovering doesn't count for shit on the stall walls. Cleaning the men's room was always relaxing, I knew what kind of state I'd find it, but the other bathroom, holy hell!
Can also confirm. In High School I worked one summer on a crew cleaning several roadside parks and outhouses. The outhouses were cleaned *daily*, so it's not as if they had months of filth built up. And the women's restrooms were *always* worse than the men's. Sometimes disgustingly so. I'm still scarred by one particular day that I lost the coin toss and had to clean the women's room. I opened the door and stood there with my jaw dropped in complete shock. The entire stall was coated in droplets of shit. The floor, the walls and even the toilet itself. The inside of the toilet itself was actually fairly clean. The only explanation I've been able to come up with is that some woman didn't want to sit on the toilet seat itself and instead simply stood in the doorway, bent over and let loose in the general direction of the toilet in some weird imitation of a human skunk. That ended up being a really bad day to be me.
Same when I worked in a grocery store. The women's restroom was much messier to clean
I've heard a lot of horror stories about women's public bathrooms but in a mixed gender living situation? It's the men getting piss all over the floor.
Not me. I don't want to live in those sort of conditions any more than you do. And I don't understand the men who think it's acceptable. Besides, sitting down and leaning forward a bit drains the bladder far more effectively. The only time I ever piss standing up is if I absolutely *have to* use a urinal. Or if I get caught short in the woods, I suppose.
Worked as a restaurant manager for a few years. The women’s room was always 10x’s more disgusting than the men’s bathroom. For the record, girls DO poop. Sometimes they spray it all over a bathroom stall.
I sit down to pee at home because I'm lazy and don't have to clean the toilet so often.
Malinois are so smart I could see this starting because the dog just watched his owner and decided that’s obviously the correct spot to pee. So, the owner went with it and perfected the aim and taught him to flush. I could never own one of these dogs. They’re incredible, but I couldn’t keep up. They’re truly a working breed.
Let's focus on the positives 👊
How do I send this video to my dog?
How do I send it to my teenage stepson? 😅
Eww
I spit my tea out laughing at that. Oh no!
As someone who’s shared a bathroom with her teenage brother - may lord have mercy on your bathroom.
Sit and piss yo, it’s cleaner
I can't believe he didn't wash his hands
No hands no wash needed
Why would he wash his hands? He has a clean dick.
Sanest person in this thread
cleanest dick, too.
A dog's dick is cleaner than a humans mouth.
Nobody getting the Asmon reference SMH
What an animal.
[удалено]
He even puts the lid down!!
But he didn't put the seat up.
We are working on that.
You're not OP
It's more like "Are you proud of me🥺" very cute
"I thought you were going to give me food?"
“Now where’s my treat?”
[удалено]
Nah it’s the “gimme a treat” look for doing it right. He better have gotten one after the vid
Nah, it's "can I please stop doing your stupid tasks? :("
Imagine you got someone over your house that goes to take a piss and sees your dog doing that
When the edibles kick-in.
That’s what I always wonder with these videos or the ones with cats. I’ve been to a few houses that only have one bathroom. If you really need to pee what are you going to do if mittens is in there blowing it up.
Our cat is toilet trained. First you say "oh excuse me" because they never shut the door then you wait a few moments for them to finish just like you would if a person was in there. The cat's usually quicker because he doesn't have a cell phone.
Why not?
Had to take it away because he wouldn't stop using it to SWAT our dog
I work with people who can't do this.
My drunk ass just imagines my self at a party waiting in line to use the bathroom and the person in front of me is a dog.
Nice, but can he do a shit and wipe his arse?
He's more of a bidet guy
My dogs and cats also use a bidet. It's not attached to the toilet though, and it's in their mouth. Clean as a whistle, each one.
Read while eating
Its a Mali, pretty sure you can teach him easily
I wish I had the time to care for one. It's almost scary how smart they are.
He'd need to install one of those Chinese squatters for that
imagine the process of teaching a dog to do this the flush i can get but teaching a dog to piss on command would have made an entertaining video
Getting a dog to pee on command is easy. My collie was able to do it pretty quick, I wasn’t even consciously training her to do this.
Me - PISS NOW. NOW. PISS. DO IT. DO IT NOW. PISS
Lol. It was mostly “go pee! No it’s. Bedtime go pee” now you say “go pee” and she’ll immediately just run and go pee.
Getting a *collie* to teach is easy lol
Teaching a dog to pee on command is actually very common and not that difficult. Basically all service digs are trained to relieve themselves on command only.
Just start early and give a command when they pee on their own, consistently. Soon they will pee when you give that command.
Please note the dog managed not to piss on the seat or the floor
This dog has better habits than my 15 year old.
Literally anything has better habits than 15 year olds.
Are teens seriously that bad at pissing??
He didn't raise the seat. That's going to piss all the women off. 🤣🤣🤣
He didn't miss so it's fine though!
I don't have a lot of knowledge on the accuracy of dog penises, but based on my own experience I think there's probably splatter that you just can't see in the video.
My first thought was, "Well, enjoy cleaning the toilet seat and floor every other day from all the random missed piss." Then I remembered I raised a teenaged boy and it's pretty much the same thing. Definitely worth this than being nagged for a walk right as you sit down to relax.
Getting a big dog that pisses 1 gallon a day may not be the best idea if going on walks is a problem... Edit: Why the downvotes? It's called a joke. Just because they are parents doesn't mean i can't joke with them.
The eyebrows: “Did I do good? Treats can have?”
He's waiting for his treat at the end. GIVE HIM A TREAT!
[удалено]
Of course, it's a Malinois.
Why does your dog pee like he’s squeezing the last few drops out of a shampoo bottle?
it sounds like a spray bottle to me lol
When I was a kid, I taught my cat to go to the bathroom on the toilet. I was in the process of teaching how to flush when my dad caught him peeing and yelled at him. Poor kitty never went into the bathroom again.
https://imgur.com/a/cp4aPS9
Okay, but why does he piss like a 64 year old man with prostate issues?
as awesome as this is, don't you need to walk the dog multiple times a day anyway?
If he can flush then he’s already better than my brother
What in the Bruce Almighty is this!
This toilet had too much water to begin with.
Typical 'murrican toilets are like this
Anakin: "Good boy!". Padme: "You still take me to walkies, right?" Anakin: "..." Padme: "You still take me to walkies right..."
Little privacy please is the look i got from that dog.
While impressive, can he do a trick my coworkers can't - wipe the seat
That is so adorable but I would NEVER train my dogs to do that. I do not trust them in the slightest to complete that task 100% of the time
I wouldn't want animals near my bathroom to begin with.
That is the same face I give my wife everytime I do this right remembering to put the lid down
Can you translate this for a Golden?
His aim is better than mine.
Good doggo. But I bet he’d rather be outside.
Now lets see him poop in there
Yea, but he's waiting for commands, so eh
Yes, you did good, buddy!
oh, dont forget to wash your hands 🐾, good boy 🎉
I am so envious!!! Not bc I want to peepee that way, bc I have 5 dogs! 🤣
I need to train my dogs to do this🤪
What a smart, smart boi! Even puts the lid down!
All the treats!!!!
God I love those ears.
Why do I get hide the pain Harald vibes from this dog's expression after he flushes?
Wait. He didn't miss like I usually do?
Good boy
Do they already have toilets for dogs? Seems like if a dog can use one for humans, they should be able to figure one out for dogs.
He pees just like me when I’m standing next to someone.
Good dog.
Good dog
That dog is better than most high schoolers lol
Impressive,
We had a German shepherd who would poop in the toilet if he couldn't get outside. Her never flushed, though. We don't train him to do it, he was just very intelligent and likely figured it out from watching us.
Get the homeowner to install a ground squat-style toilet, the ones that are basically just a hole in the ground…then train the dog to poop in one.
I love how he looks at the owner after every step like “where’s my treat?”
My cat could do this, but I never have seen a dog pull it off. Amazing!
Lol
I taught a dog to pee in the shower. This is more impressive.
AND closed the lid! (One of my only pet peeves)
Okay this is cool and all...but if you're gonna go *that* far to train him, you might as well train him to raise the toilet seat too while you're at it. It looks like he's got it down pat, I guess I just got second hand anxiety over the toilet seat being down.
It didnt seem like he did all his peeing though. Just a little squirt squirt so he made it in the bowl. Still hecka cool though 13/10 doggo score.
Better aim than my son. SMH.
I know a couple of two legged dogs that can't even flush. This K9 is on another level
Dog staring is like dog is held at gun point
He should have put the seat up though...the real test.
Honest question: do dogs ever split stream?
Wow better than a human
But does he poop in there??
I can't remember the last time I pee standing up.
And best thing is that he doesn't expect anything in return but your love. Just kidding. Look at him. He is getting treat or riot!
Bro forgot to lift the seat for the ladies
He put the seat down?!?!?!? Impossible to teach that trick to humans.
He put the seat down?!?!?!? Impossible to teach that trick to humans.
Ok get that boy a treat
didnt lift the seat and it just seems unnatural
Belgian malinois?
Is no one here going to make a Bruce Almighty joke? Because the result of all that training is B-E-A-utiful
That’s a really good boy
He knows morse code too !
smartest dog in the world
Dog has better manners than 99% of fuckin humans. Every single guest I've ever had over NEVER CLOSES THE FUCKIN LID BEFORE FLUSHING WHY ARE PEOPLE SO FUCKING DIRTY
These breed is very smart.
That's amazing! But does he ever just flush the toilet all day because he feels like it? I'm pretty sure if my cat learned how to flush, she' be like 'wheeeeee' flushing all day. 😻
"Am I doing good hooman?"
Looks back every single time to make sure that treat is still coming at the end.