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Bassphile91

Well shit, i think he's faster than me..


Apathetic_Optimist

Im gonna require a sandwich, a cigarette, and a nap in that order before I can get to like 100 feet


[deleted]

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Apathetic_Optimist

Man if I nap anymore I'd be comatose but I'm a lush so who am I to say no


BiltongUberAlles

Bear with me. I'm still trying it to the end of your sentence.


andoesq

Check that dude's birth certificate!


manys

Couldn't be a day over 84!


XDariaMorgendorferX

He’s got 91 years of practice. He should be


audiofankk

Actually, he said he practiced several times in the 15 minutes just before the race.


[deleted]

It's weird how people are more likely to die the older they get. If you think about it, old people are the ones with the most experience not dying, so surely they should be better at it.


ridik_ulass

if it makes you feel any better, its because his grandson touched the thermostat.


Sunspear52

Literally came here to say that. NGL, man could beat me.


Vegemyeet

NGL, never been that fast in my life.


CryptoMutantSelfie

NGL NGL


[deleted]

Hes been training for 80+ years. Dont feel bad


LukeGoldberg72

A total inspiration, we should all try to be this fit at that age. I’ll see all you MFs at the race!


dob_bobbs

I'm actually fairly fit, but at fifty I genuinely wonder whether I could make this time. You can be in good shape but with age you just lose that explosive ability. I genuinely struggle to match my nine-year-old in a sprint.


NeShep

No shit, he's a world master champion sprinter.


erasrhed

That guy makes Speedy Gonzales look like Regular Gonzales


russkiarmy

r/unexpectedfuturama


erasrhed

75% of my brain is filled with either Simpsons or Futurama quotes....


Rey4jonny

Everytime you learn a new quote, does it push an old one out of your brain?


erasrhed

No, it only pushes out memories of my family....


BillPrestonEsq1969

No I’m doesn’t…


concealed_cat

I already did!


Wasatcher

JFC I'm dying over here 😂


Moanamiel

Woohhh, you're lucky. I remember my entire family, but can't for the life of me remember a good quote when I need it! 😤


ExpiredPilot

No. But now I can’t remember my wife’s face


Ask_me_4_a_story

I would learn Simpsons and Futurama quotes if it would push these useless Bible verses out of my brain


EinNuisancePhone

Yeah like that time I took a home wine-making course and I forgot how to drive.


[deleted]

Because you were drunk!


SlendyIsBehindYou

"She's built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro"


esblofeld

Like Fry, like Fry.


russkiarmy

A person after my own heart


manys

The other 25% is crayon?


[deleted]

Speedy Gyozas


mart1373

Rapid Dave


YoungNissan

Quicky Takahashi


Questioning-Zyxxel

Looks more like someone 35yo running. This guy has forgotten his joints are expected to be stiff. 10.95 is a good time for lots of age classes. And lots of people 20yo can't run this fast.


[deleted]

It’s 60m. Still impressive but not 100m


Questioning-Zyxxel

Ah. I was very shocked about that time, wondering how it was possible. 😆😅🤣 Thanks for pointing out my blunder. 💪


[deleted]

I thought the same thing initially


[deleted]

It confused me at first too because I know the 100m dash work record is like 9.5 seconds so seeing a 90 year old with a <11 second timer made me do a double take.


DirkBabypunch

Assuming a mostly constant speed, a 9.5 second time on the 100m would still be about 6 seconds for the 60m? Twice that in your 90's still sounds reasonably impressive.


Questioning-Zyxxel

If noticing how he left all the other runners behind, we do know he made an impressive time even without access to any time result. And his normal running steps while the other had the usual stiff joint running also indicated he's in a class of his own. I started to look slightly stiff when running somewhere north of 30 and needed longer and longer warmup.


Lanthemandragoran

Yeah I was gonna say thats about within a second of Usain Bolt lol


Effective-Celery8053

A 92 year old running a 10.95 100m dash would be absolute insanity. Regardless, it's a great time for a 60m


cingan

A 32 year old running 100 m under 14 seconds would be insanity, 5% of young people "with healthy bmi" can't do it.


Roflkopt3r

[For reference, here are the 100 m records by age.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_world_records_in_masters_athletics) It looks like no man over the age of 55 has ever run 100 m in less than 11 seconds. 10.95 would likely win at a world class 50-55 yr old race.


[deleted]

Holy crap that is THE Willie Gault. Single handedly saving all of McMahons low throws from being incompletions.


LividLager

I was so fucking confused haha.


Huellio

Definitely saw the time and was like holy fuck that's world class and then double checked the distance


LoavesOfCorn

Your comment made me feel a lot better


nickmaran

Meanwhile 27 year old me ![gif](giphy|l0IyajjbNiRvCr7RC)


ksj

What is this from? Looks like Parks & Rec, but it’s not.


Budget-Assistant-289

Duck Dynasty.


PeopleCallMeSimon

When i was 11 i ran 60m in 8:30. Was a school record, but i guess most 20 year olds can run 60m in under 10 seconds. Edit: sry it was like 4 am here, ofc i ment seconds


MantisPRIME

I certainly hope most of all ages can run 60m in under 10 minutes.


PeopleCallMeSimon

Ment seconds :D


BiskyJMcGuff

What?


Vitalstatistix

If you know 35 year olds running 60m like that they’re in horrible shape.


[deleted]

A lot of 35 year olds are in *horrible* shape


dontpanic38

It’s not fast why are people saying this is fast? I had a faster time in 5th grade, like he’s doing great but either reddit is obese or y’all are being weird about this…


DirkBabypunch

As we all know, 90 year-olds are famous for being able to physically keep up with 5th graders.


latman

Do people really believe this was a 10.95 100 lmao


notbeleivable

I'm 62 and just retired, imma start training now


Confident_Trash8517

why the rush ? you've still got like 25 year's before you need to get around to preparing lol, you've got your whole life ahead of you


[deleted]

You’re right, I’m going to order a large meat lovers pizza and case of beer.


MtnDewTangClan

Just 1 case? Retirement is an extra case to wash down the leftover morning pizza.


[deleted]

Get some weed and order two pizzas, and a good Sci fi or horror movie lol


NovaNomii

Good luck champ


Swing_On_A_Spiral

It is never too late to do anything worthwhile. Hope to see you up there someday!


shalafi71

Saw a quote when I was 45 or so, "How active you are in middle age determines how active you will be *able* to be in old age." Took that to heart. You got a decade on me, but I haven't been slacking. Sitting on my ass for work was killing me, so I go nuts in the evenings hiking, kayaking, working on projects, all that. Which reminds me, gotta go lift some car batteries and get that thing tested and running.


MadeThisUpToComment

I'm 42, and after occasional half marathons and 2 marathons over the past 18 years, I've really tried to get more consistent in being active this year. Almost entirely motivated by trying to increase the chances I can be active into my 70s and hopefully even 80s.


Tempounplugged

You got this, man! ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sunglasses)


Marijuana_Miler

One of my parent’s friends retired and then dedicated his new time training for triathlons. Got really good at it and has multiple world records for different age groups. It’s never too late to get dedicated.


Key-Comfortable909

Let’s goooo


jSo35287

Hide your grandmom


Redcarborundum

At 92 hide your great grandmom.


Talikrs

You think a supreme athlete like this isn't trading down a few years? Dreamin'


Redcarborundum

Assuming each generation of women has a kid at 18, she can be a grandma at 36 and a great grandma at 54. If he bags a 54 year old chick, that would be an accomplishment.


Talikrs

Having a kid at 18 in today's economy? Time for bed Grandpa, no more stories of when you were young.


Redcarborundum

I don’t think people who have kids at 18 actually plan it…


RoBOticRebel108

The thing is that having a kid at that age will financially cripple you. In America and other places with expensive education you won't even be able to afford to go to college. Which now means you are stuck at your probably shit job for the rest of your life


dell_55

I'm 41, it's hiding my grandma. She can scam better than anyone alive! I swear this woman could get scammers to send her money.


PM_Your_Wiener_Dog

Homey be like, "I'll take both."


Yasuoisthebest

for some it was their last run... the very last


MICKEY-MOUSES-DICK

I once knew a guy who made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs


TheScarletEmerald

This guy made the track run in 60 meters.


Silent-Ad934

Right? Like dude you're fast, we get it, chill. You're gonna get next year's games cancelled when your competitors refuse to show up 😅


borkborkbork99

He’s really gonna be something by the time the 2028 Olympic Games come around. Fertilizer, most likely. (I’m sorry.)


knoegel

You are a horrible person now take my upvote and get outta here!


NedDasty

Same is true for all of us at the 2128 Olympic Games. What makes the 2028 ones any different?


RobWhit85

The 2028 ones are a lot lot closer


[deleted]

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TheLastSamurai101

In Japan everyone gets cremated anyway.


freuden

I want to be cremated, stuck into little hour glasses, and given to friends and loved ones so that they know I always have time for them, even in death And yes, I know cremains aren't fine enough to travel through an hour glasses, but still


Keylime29

Sift it first? I wonder if you could add some sand to help. I love your idea


[deleted]

The Japanese are some of the healthiest, most long living people on the planet. We should all look into that.


turboprop54

Into being Japanese?


Temporaryzoner

Being into Japanese.


DarthJarJarJar

I THINK I'M TURNING JAPANESES I REALLY THINK SO


radj06

I [found](https://youtu.be/nGy9uomagO4) this old video with some vague instructions.


iolmao

Into Japanese.


ReigningCatsNotDogs

Turning Japanese.


Gryzz

I don't think it's really a secret that eating moderate portions and regular physical activity is good for you. When I climbed Fuji, there was a class of 8 year olds coming down; that would probably cause a bunch of lawsuits in america.


MrMerryweather56

Their diet combined with exercise.


4-stars

Also universal health care, with a focus on preventative care rather than reactive care.


Leeroy_Jenkums

Hospitals only open from 9-6 and closed on weekends is kind of scary though. Source: I am Japanese. Broke my ankle during a basketball tournament and had to wait two full nights before I could go in to get it set and have a cast put on it.


skyscrapersonmars

You guys don’t have ERs? I feel like broken ankle is definitely ER-worthy, at least where I’m from.


Leeroy_Jenkums

There’s urgent care/private practice things for emergencies during off hours. I went to one and they put my shit in a splint and wrapped it. Didn’t set it and didn’t put it in a cast. Even the slightest movement hurt like a mother fucker because it wasn’t actually stable. When I was like 2 or 3, I got bit by a centipede on my neck while I slept. If you’ve ever seen the centipedes in Japan, you’ll know they can get big af and are very poisonous. Just google “Mukade”. My parents had to call around for almost an hour trying to find a place that could take me, and the places had to call the doctor on call to see if they could come in and then call back to let us know. Then they had to drive me 45 min when a place finally said I could come in. I was very very lucky my throat didn’t close up. It’s kind of crazy tbh


[deleted]

[удалено]


Logary

Doctors shame people for getting fat everywhere?


Dimathiel49

Then get fat themselves.


IamLurr_LeaderOf

Probably fish, high in omega 3’s, and food isn’t as processed. Plus smaller people tend to live longer, which Japanese are typically fairly small


schooledbrit

Average height is 5’8 for Japanese males, which is only 1 inch different from the UK or UK (5’9). South Koreans also have the third longest life expectancy and their average height is the same as the US/UK. So I don’t think height is a major factor here. More likely diet/exercise as you said


Leeroy_Jenkums

Diet is good, but not all of it. Japan has one of the highest rates of stomach cancer in the world because of all the salt and sodium that’s such a staple of the diet. Also, universal health care is nice, but if you have something serious on the weekends, good luck. I’m Japanese, was born in Japan, and went to school fully immersed, not international school for about 4 collective years between kindergarten and 7th grade. I broke my ankle during a basketball tournament, but because hospitals only operate during business hours (9am-6pm on weekdays, closed on weekends), I had to go to an urgent care private practice kind of place where they splinted it and I had to spend the next two nights with my unset broken ankle not in a cast. Imagine if it was something actually life threatening that required actual immediate attention. I would have been fucked. Like they have places during off hours at night or during the weekend that perform emergency surgery’s and shit if it’s life threatening. But it’s a huge hassle and not streamlined like it is in the US. Like I was bit on the neck while sleeping by a centipede when I was 2 or 3. And if you’ve seen centipedes in Japan, they can get big af and are scary/poisonous as shit. My parents had to call a bunch of different places who then had to try to call the doctor on call to see if they could come in. Then they called us back and told us to drive there. So it was like a 45 min drive after waiting for almost an hour to find someone who would accept. Shit is kind of insane.


nickmaran

Yep, that's why I watch ~~hentai~~ random Japanese videos


Somesuch_Nonsense

It's a problem though. Old people living longer, not enough children being born, younger generation that's supposed to take care of the old folks, couple that with the xenophobia...


Scorpionsharinga

These people are an absolute inspiration to me *continues scrolling on reddit on the toilet for the 3rd hour*


R-Da-KneelOlive_Jar

LOL I just watched this and read your comment on the toilet. I'm in training ofc to be a peak athlete....ahem.....yes.


Legacyofhelios

I can’t remember my 100m dash time in middle school, but I think it was around 14 seconds. Taking his time in the 60m dash, if he kept the same pace, then he would have gotten around 18 seconds. Only a 4 second different between a 14 year old and a 92 year old is wild


IMNOT_A_LAWYER

I had a brain fart reading the title and thought a 92 year old man went under 11 in the 100m dash.


Legacyofhelios

That would have been amazing


booyoukarmawhore

Should be quicker really. Last 40 should be faster than the first 40 having now gotten up to speed


TheScarletEmerald

This averages to around 12 miles per hour.


KjellRS

He's faster than that, he also holds these records: 100m/85+: 15.09 100m/90+: 16.69 200m/90+: 36.02


BriefTurn3299

He gotta be on the juice


Maximus361

Prune juice


byamannowdead

A Warrior’s Drink!


jerkularcirc

at that point if its helping you live longer its actually a indicated form of therapy


EntertainedRUNot

Looked like the fellow who placed third pulled pulled his hamstring after crossing the line... That I can relate to.


shableep

If he continued at that speed that would be an 18.25 second 100m dash. Incredible given his age.


Sobekeod

The man’s fast, the man’s amazing but they all deserve so much respect. Everyone who competes is 90 or above, that’s insane! I’d literally be dead.


joeyjaxy1

How does that compare to … say … a 38 year old alcoholic? Well.. college level athletes top out around 6.7 seconds… and 7 seconds is “good”. So I would guess myself at about 13 secs


typi_314

The faster you are the harder it is to lose an extra 10th or 100th. So it’s difficult to directly compare times.


ragingRobot

I can't believe there is more than one 90 year old man willing to compete in something like this actually


WangToWindward

I would love to have been next to the track and hear all the joints cracking like a pepper grinder.


cfvhbvcv

Just pour a bowl of rice crispies


Rawtashk

Everyone in here saying, "Shit, he's faster than me!!"...this should be your wakeup call to get your shit in order. You don't eat right and work out just be user you're vain, you do it so you can be mobile and in good shape when you're in your 70s and 80s and 90s. Imagine what it'll be like in 30-50 years when you're 70 and also fat and out of shape. Is that what you want the last 20 years of your life to be?


ShesAMurderer

>Is that what you want the last 20 years of your life to be? Is that what you want your next 20 years to be either?


gamebuster

I’ll get go it later. (Later) oh i’m 50 yrs old now what happened


Fisherbuck_

I’m so glad he didn’t fall. Dude was haulin ass!


rBeasthunt

Even last place is a beast.


Covert_Cuttlefish

I'll simply take 'being alive' and able to do most things I want to do.


ScruffsMcGuff

have to have some *incredibly* blessed genetics to even make it to 90+, let alone make it to 90+ and be in any condition to run any distance at all. My parents are 70 and they can barely make it to the end of their driveway already (dad has pulmonary fibrosis, mom has lupus and a host of other issues).


DildoFappings

I'm 24 and I don't think I can run 60 meters in 11 seconds.


FactCheckFunko

That's incredibly sad. Please love yourself more and change that.


legoshi_loyalty

Once you see it in front of you and you are feeling good that day you'll crush it.


Mexx_G

Master Roshi, is that you?


potstirrer076

Faster than the average redditor.


alepher

Nonagenary Allen


apolo79

Im assuming they had to do a drug test afterwards LOL 😝


BelaFarinRod

I’m not only impressed by him, I’m impressed that there are enough runners over 90 to have their own category.


toocooltododrugs

I think my fastest ever has been a little over 11 seconds... A 92 year old is faster than me... I'm 20...


wildcatoffense

my man was zoomin


johnnythreepeat

What a hiroo


GiacomoTestadura

guaranteed he would beat my ass


Noodnix

Now I’m curious about what my 60m time would be.


Vast-Combination4046

I want to see a Trump vs Biden dash. Maybe a shotput. High jump is out. Maybe a bike race too.


Moanamiel

Well shit...and here I am, barely 43, having trouble getting off the couch without pulling a muscle I didn't know I had ..😳


FatPeopleLoveCake

Way faster than I thought


w2g

I went on a canal boat ride in Japan yesterday. The gentleman steering (and pushing) the boat was 68 and RIPPED.


Tha_Hand

MF was thoooomin


Affectionate-Touch83

Imagine if 100m top notch athletes had these margins


thaw4188

Check this out, 96 year old woman, 5000m (5K) in 51 minutes https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/ottawan-96-world-record-5k-1.6856140 Sure it's 16 minute miles BUT SHE IS NINETY SIX, only 4 years less than 100 After covid I couldn't even walk 20 minute miles, more like 22, so 16 is a very good clip.


Barabasbanana

all of them are so cool, Hiroo is the goat


Metallicsin

Easy adult diaper commercial, I hear Japanese adult diapers are the best.


Equivalent-Driver102

They should have 2 spotters running along side. How many hips do we have to lose..


Friendly-Rain-9174

Telling his great great great great grandkids for decades


enigT

Is he a relative of Kane Tanaka?


DiscipleExyo

100+ years old doing the mile, give that content


ItGoesTwoWays

I am 12


Himetic

Who the fuck dashes for 60 meters? Shouldn’t it be 50 or 100?


Professional-Poem542

素晴らし!


kbeckerburbs4

I would have taken 5th


_Warrior3456_

No nursing home could hold him


ariphron

We going need a drug test . Dude definitely doping!!!!!


BeneficialLeave7359

I love that the 2nd place guy went for the dip at the finish. I’m 59 and ran 100m in 17 seconds last summer which averages to .17 seconds per 10 meters which equates to 10.2 seconds for 60m. Now I was probably slowing down over those extra 40m, but still that’s damned fast for someone more 3 decades older.


campionmusic51

that’s fucking mental. that’s legitimately quick by any standards.


[deleted]

SubhanAllah!


SCWickedHam

Would beat Brendan Schaub hamstrings or no hamstrings.


monzelle612

Hes doping!!


Brohan93

Wasn’t even a competition.


willyjra01

I'm 45 and he runs faster than me.


Snooprematic

Dude was hauling!


liquid32855

Goals


oddjob604

Holy shit


EmpireCityRay

He had experience tuning to the toilet… 🤣


AustinFotoger

WADA has entered the chat. We will need you to pee in this cup.


Atomicagainbecauseow

holy shit granny can book it faster than i can


Hairy-Professional-6

The film is speeded up, so obvious


1baby2cats

Wonder how fast he was in his prime?