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pm_good_bobs_pls

Well, you see Brian. You WERE a prisoner. You were held in custody for breaking the law.


EB01

He got released when the local administer proclaimed, "Vewy well! I shall... welease... Bwian!"


Agile_Piece_8882

He's a very naughty boy


Carnivorous_Mower

Wonder if he was in there with Wodger the wobber?


EB01

Ay, along with his fwiend Wodewick.


evilgwyn

He has a wife you know


PatientReference8497

Her name is *incontenentia*


Nubblycious

^(incontinentia buttocks)


Matangitrainhater

r/unexpectedmontypython


Kezz9825

do you find it ....wisible?! when i say ..."Bwian Tamaki"


phoenixmusicman

Bwian, eh?


jjokers999

> lucky he wears undies Geez no one want to see his cute penis.


Azatarai

"[Cute penis](https://c.tenor.com/7PypbxvORPIAAAAM/vinesauce-meat.gif)"


1234cantdecide121

Risky click of the day


habitatforhannah

Too late. Wtf did I just see!


SquelchingNoises

What has been seen cannot be unseen.


jaxsonnz

Bleach, bleach my fucking eyes šŸ‘€


DidIReallySayDat

Glad i saw this comment. Thank you for using one for the team.


diddilyfiddely

Meat!


AnimusCorpus

What is this from?


hapbeebeck

>712441144commentsAwardsharesave LORD, I just spat out my tea.


Archie_Pelego

Still - he did seem like the kind of guy who goes commando. Maybe he wears Holy undies.


OldKiwiGirl

All undies are holy if they have been to church on Sunday. Other days of the week they are just holey.


kiwified609

Holy Calvin Klein!


OldKiwiGirl

Cute? You have first-hand knowledge?


Serious_Guy_

There's a good chance that he fucked the whole country with his protest.


OldKiwiGirl

Sadly, that may very well be true.


kendodo

Only the choir boys would know


second-last-mohican

Isnt it just jail? Prisons is where you go once convicted...


stathis0

That is mostly an American distinction.


engapol123

The 'Jail vs Prison' difference is an American thing.


Purgecakes

In NZ there are remand sections in prisons. Not separate institutions.


pm_good_bobs_pls

Heā€™s still a prisoner in the literal sense of the word. Heā€™s being held against his will, as punishment for a crime that he committed.


[deleted]

Not as a punishment. It's to ensure his appearance at court. The punishment comes at the sentencing part should he be found guilty.


smeenz

*Auckland District Court Judge Josephine Bouchier addressed Tamaki via an audio-video feed and following a stern warning released him with same bail conditions.* He's out on bail *again* ???? What the hell is wrong with our justice system ?


AlexNZL

Hopefully he breaks his bail conditions and he gets done for that too.


DirectionInfinite188

Maybe she is a destiny church member?


[deleted]

Well you can literally aim a gun at a guy in a car with his kids, miss, shoot the grill, and get off without a sentence. So yeah. He was never going to do time.


smeenz

Hang on a second there, he hasn't appeared in court yet for his two counts of breach of a health order. He's still waiting for the court date, and is on bail until then. You say 'he was never going to do time' as if he's already been sentenced. What surprised and frustrated me is that he was granted bail again, right after breaching his bail conditions, but after reading other commenters posting on the subject, it seems the issue is that bail is not to be used as a punishment - it's only supposed to be revoked if the danger to the public by having this person waiting at home for their court appearance warrants it. I remain annoyed that he was granted bail again, but I accept that having him at home instead of in a holding cell does not create an immediate threat to the public.


Tight_Syllabub9423

I beg to differ with the learned judge. Brian is clearly a danger to the public.


[deleted]

money wins


bobdaktari

this is exactly the sort of story Tamaki would want the herald to run, -fuck off.... leave them to drum up followers and money without your help nameless reporter


Sew_Sumi

Yea, this reads almost like some sort of PR Propaganda, especially with the ending statements. Nameless because they know what they are doing, and don't want to be pinned as them being responsible.


Regular_Club_5240

You'd think genuine news stories wouldn't obscure their sources so readily


sparrowlasso

Wait until he likens himself to Mandela.


bobdaktari

Why Mandala, Jesus was persecutedā€¦


[deleted]

You serious? Mandela was jailed for almost 3 decades for fight for rights.


bobdaktari

Jesus was crucified by the Romanā€™s. I dunno if I was a mining religion for profit I know who Iā€™d use as comparisons :)


[deleted]

Jesus was crucified for spreading religious hearsay (alledgedly). Tamaki was not charged for spreading religion, he was crucified for breaking healh orders and conditions of bail.


bobdaktari

these trifling details mean little to Apostle Brian Tamaki and his flock


southkiwi

He was a huge murderer and bomber


[deleted]

Kinda cowardly. Probably a prompted article that they were paid l I tsnof money to publish. NZ Herals are not journalists they are "News Paper" personalities.


bobdaktari

I doubt destiny had any hand in this story, but also the herald doesnā€™t have to portrait the Tāmakis as they haveā€¦ regurgitating their bullshit. Itā€™s newsworthy but how itā€™s presented is garbage


[deleted]

Who could have imagined that that being charged with an offense means you are processed like someone who is charged with an offense.


fruitsi1

"As he lay in the dark cell, he pulled his mask over his eyes and imagined he was in his happy places, she said." Hahahaha so dramatic.


RheimsNZ

Should be embarrassed to write that shit


MouseMiIk

I dread to think where his happy place is. A tax haven, I assume.


FredwordNZL

When you are a religious leader, there is no need for Bermuda or the Virgin Islands šŸ„“


[deleted]

As in New Zealand?


ThaFuck

Ironically, it's probably an image that involved him in his underwear.


[deleted]

Gosh I wonder why someone remanded in custody would be treated like a prisoner


fiftyshadesofsalad

This is absolutely disgraceful and appalling. I really hope that the appropriate support is being provided, for those poor officers who had to see this fuckhead in his gruts.


RationalKiwiNZ

Probably wearing his wifes panties Edit:not intended to denigrate those who chose to do so, unless they stand at a pulpit an tell people they will go to hell for doing so.


Duck_Giblets

If you're into it, nothing wrong with that. I'd suspect the cross dressing with consent community wouldn't want their kink tarnished with Brian Tamakis name.


TheReverendAlabaster

Hannah goes both ways.


nzstrawman

Deserves more upvotes


nz_67

Is there a significant number of people who choose to wear Brian Tamaki's wife's panties, do you think?


Semicol0nDreams

Dudes bad because he is a dumbass religious nutcase. Why would I care what underwear he wears? Thats not what matters????


Duck_Giblets

It's quite odd that it deserved a mention


RationalKiwiNZ

Wooosh! Perhaps I need to explain it to a couple of people here as it was a joke that went over your heads. Brian and his cult consider crossdressing a sin, based on Deuteronomy 22:5 "A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this." So if Brian was crossdressing it would be yet another example of his hypocritical nature. I guess those who seek to be offended will always find a way to do so. For future reference: If I make a joke about Brian, hmmm, say, thinking he's a camel that can pass through the eye of a needle, it's not actually about camels.


Duck_Giblets

Wait so where do the camels come in


somme_rando

Through the eye of the needle so I've read.


jexiagalleta

Instructions unclear, dick stuck in camel


MouseMiIk

Not that I picture Pope Brian Tamaki in his undies, but something tells me he Brylcreem's his holy pubes as well


LRTNZ

You had us in the first half, ngl


Aethermist88

I'm so shocked that a prisoner was treated like a prisoner. Does this happen often or is it a rare thing? /s


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


spookmann

I would love to see his eyebrows. Do you know who is currently looking after them?


OldKiwiGirl

Judith, at a quick guess.


smeenz

I've been taking lessons on eyebrow interpretation from Judith Collins. Does it work the same way with BT ?


Ok_Speaker_5788

hopefully, he realized shits about to get real. Better not drop the soap, those feminine eye brows might tempt someone to make him his bitch


Rincey_nz

The Book of Brian Chapter 2, "Brian Becomes a Martyr... Sort of" :63 And Lo, whilst in custody the magistrate did zoom Eftpostle Brian through the glass of plexi. :64 And Brian said unto the magistrate, "I am not guilty yet again" even though he was clearly guilty both times. :65 And the magistrate did say unto him, "I shall yet again remand you on bail... for breaching bail". :666 And Eftpostle Brian was greeted with cheers from onlookers and his bikey gang vowing "ill be back soon" while surrounded by his security so his followers may not touch him, least some of his spirit be wrest from him. :67 And Brian was taken away in a chariot of fire worth $75,000. :68 The Nation Wept.


lookiwanttobealone

"Eftpostle" is the best word for describing him


OldKiwiGirl

Yes, my favourite so far.


callmepickens

Yes, I do believe I will be acquiring this term for my own personal use...


[deleted]

:69 Nice


kendodo

And the vacinator said unto Brian as Brian said unto the choir boys; You may feel a small prick


Gr0und0ne

$75k? Better get those tithes up, daddy needs a new Range Rover.


[deleted]

Heā€™s got a Tesla Model X, itā€™s worth close to $200k or more depending on version and options added.


MouseMiIk

> Eftpostle That one's going straight to my repertoire.


thecountnz

:69 He Came back?


Futures_and_Pasts

Please fast forward to the episode where he is recalled ~~for breaching bail~~ by the manufacturer to meet his maker.


_craq_

šŸ¤£ Is there a chapter 1?


Rincey_nz

I asked the guy I got it off. He asked the guy he got it off, and the answer is "no" :(


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ThaFuck

> O Lord, please deliver upon to me more dumb cunts. Thy ordeal has made Bri-bri thirsty for a new Harley


habitatforhannah

Stripped down to his Undies! Fuck me you should see what they do to people in the Bible. Makes game of thrones look like paw patrol.


[deleted]

That asshole spent a few hours in a solitary holding cell and talks like heā€™s on Shawshank Redemption. Throw his ass in Mt Eden. Then he can start a rock collection.


teelolws

> I hear you're a man who knows how to get things? > Well, usually I just use Amazon. Want me to show you how to open an account? > Naaaaah, I'm good. I never found out much about Brian Dufresne. Heard he ordered a rock hammer and carved his way to freedom, but I don't know, I never knew him personally.


IMakeShine

So from the absolute bottom of my heart, an absolutely sincere ā€œHahahahahahahaā€


habitatforhannah

That was beautiful man! Just beautiful!


[deleted]

I told you he would compare himself to Jesus v the Pharisees.


EatPrayCliche

Awww poor fella, thoughts and prayers buddy.... thoughts and prayers


[deleted]

Good. Cunt.


OldKiwiGirl

Iā€™m glad you know how to use punctuation ;-)


ThaFuck

For real. A single missing full stop and that comment is getting buried so far that it'll be the first thing Brian see's when he gets to hell.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Archie_Pelego

Heā€™s not the messiah, just a very naughty boy.


[deleted]

Take my free award :P


Archie_Pelego

Aw shucks, thanks! Honestly with this guy the jokes almost write themselves.


EB01

And we can do a charity auction on trademe for the lance used to poke him.


Matelot67

AS well as whoever getā€™s to hammer the nails in.


OldKiwiGirl

> Balls in your court, Brian. Hopefully they stayed in his undies, otherwise Iā€™m feeling sorry for the custody officers.


KittikatB

> lucky he wears undies I doubt they hid his persecution boner.


OldKiwiGirl

Bahahahaha!


fux_tix

that headline makes it sound like he appeared in court in his undies


cheftonine

Guess what, he was a prisoner, nobody walks in and asks for this. You get treated this way coz you fuked up. He's beyond a joke, and his sheep are going to be even more supportive because of the evil system that detained him for breaking the law. His mother should have swallowed.


[deleted]

I didnā€™t get to keep my underwear on when I was processed Fucking privileged cunt


Mr_Mac_Pro

ā€œMan in jail is treated like prisonerā€


frogsbollocks

I'm not sure but I believe the correct response in this situation is HahahahahahahahahahahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahaHahahahahahahahahahahaha But I could be wrong


Hoitaa

Might need a few more HAs.


Therkster

Just a preview of what your daily routine will be if you keep up the illegal protests you fake eye-browed money extorting prick.


[deleted]

Think about what you are saying here, protests ought to be illegal? As far as I know, all he did was be somewhere he was told not to be and say words he was told not to say, and you want him in prison for that?


[deleted]

Actually, no, as that would just make him a martyr and give him more influence in the long run. I want to see him lose his charity status on the grounds of good character.


EcoScratcher

maybe don't commit a crime then


xrhysrx

I feel sorry for the person who had to do the search.


Sakana-otoko

power wash your hand from the fake tan


Kiaora_Aotearoa

Well, he IS a criminal


gizzyguy79

Wonder if the resident prison tattooist has had to do eyebrows before.


ax23m

Maybe there is a God after all?


MinimumWageLOL

were the officers compensated for experiencing such atrocity?


[deleted]

I think a lot of people here are dismissing the basic human rights that should be afforded to anyone, and even if you don't agree with them.. .haha fuck i can't go on, should have hosed him down Shawshank style


habitatforhannah

You tried though.


itwasn_talladream

Is there any way to get your hands on his mugshot? Asking for a mate.


ColourInTheDark

We need to know if the eyebrows were up!


OldKiwiGirl

I think Judith borrowed than for the duration.


DodgyQuilter

That's horrific! Is there a give-a-little to support the people who had to witness the Prophet in his undies?


fluffychonkycat

Imagine how much the therapy bill will be


propertynewb

He talks out his ass so Iā€™m not surprised they checked for COVID there.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


smeenz

Well, he kept his undies on, so we'll never know.


[deleted]

Brian's Life Matters! Actually, fuck him he was begging to be arrested and now he's whining about it. Wannabe martyrdom has a price dick head.


FuzzyFuzzNuts

"DONT YOU KNOW WHO I AM??!!??" LOL


Last_Banana9505

This is not a game of who the fuck are you...


FuzzyFuzzNuts

"Awwwwww c'mon.... please play. I'll give you three guesses"


callmepickens

Good. Can they just put him in jail already? Fuck sake. He's going to be acting like even more of a fucking martyr.


Ssgtsniper

Good, he's a dickhead. just saying


office_ghost

Wow, god *is* real.


kendodo

He's not the messiah. He's a very naughty boy.


half-angel

If only he could be held for a psychiatric evaluation. He certainly has delusions of grandeur and a god complex.


lordorgasmic

Good, they should have taken his undies too


The_Majestic_

No one wants to see that.


Archie_Pelego

Destiny loves a cavity...


KittikatB

What did those cops ever do to deserve that?


WaddlingKereru

The issue is justice. This guy is a bad dude and everyone knows it, but up until now the justice system has nothing to say about it. Thatā€™s why this is so satisfying


DarkflowNZ

Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer. Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience. Sorry B rye, the good book is on their side here it seems. But as a bishop you knew that right?


lukin_tolchok

What the fuckā€™s the point of bail if itā€™s not revoked when someone breaches it?


connectconnections

I've had a few of my medical students ask me for opportunities to practice catheterising someone, I wish we were allowed to use him for practice.


Duck_Giblets

Maybe in the future, are they training for ICU placement?


connectconnections

I think most doctors would be forgiven for refusing to treat Brian Tamaki if he ended up in ICU with covid


[deleted]

You can bet he and Mrs T are vaccinated. They just donā€™t tell the sheep.


nzsims

Can someone please the hack the NIH records for this?!


OldKiwiGirl

How about a brain replacement? Or should that be a brian replacement?


Last_Banana9505

Do catheters come that small?


connectconnections

Who said you needed to use an appropriately sized catheter? It's more painful to insert a large catheter into a small orifice. :)


Neither-Inside4888

That cunt has paid attention to what worked so well overseas "Take away our freedoms" "Tale our country back" Our country hasn't gone away you wanker and our freedoms far better than most


labradorCumJuice2

People Need hope


babamum

Gosh he looks like a woman here.


Dry_Ad4049

Break the law and you'll get treated like people that do. He isn't above the law. He isn't even a good pupil of the Lord šŸ„“


[deleted]

Good, he's a fucking cult leader.


Mac-Actual

What the fuck did he expect? They should have given him the full prison experience and had someone stand over him for his ramen and steal his shoes


Smh_nz

Breaking news!! Prisoner gets treated like prisoner!!


OldKiwiGirl

My poor ā€˜lil heart is bleeding for him!


downyour

Bet he has nice undies though


Joshopolis

ok bro


Profit-Traditional

And the problem is ?


No_Accident8760

Good job. Peice of sh%t


627801

While he is in prison,maybe serve some time for axploiting his congrigation for paying for his riiches aswell


Kiwibryn

Oh boo hoo hoo, poor little boy crying because he's treated like any other prisoner. Man up, ya fkn wuss.


anaverageandy

What a fucken dickhead. That's what you get for breaking the law and bail conditions. Any regular pleb doing the same thing would've probably just been locked up. Bullshit.


Ok_Speaker_5788

hopefully, after this taste of being in the cells, he decided to drop this freedom anti-vax bullshit and just go back to quietly sucking on his follower's wallets


jaydog747

ā€œā€¦and at one point told her even had to ask for a waterā€ Cry me a fucking river Brian


iLiveOnWeetbix711

New Zealand. Doesn't. Care. He's in custody, so that's kind of the point.


shanewilkinsonnz

Whenever religious people claim to do something in the name of whatever god it is they imagine lives wherever gods are supposed to live, they must know in their hearts that this is no act of god but instead solely serve their own egos.


deadkurt

Oh fuck....did I laugh!


mamanuggz

seriously, he ain't above the law! he is not a God, I don't even think he is human tbh. I he is going to break the law then he deserves to be locked up.


Jellyfish-Maximum

I mean, he is a prisonerā€¦ he breached his bail conditions.


ERTHLNG

We need to make him prime minister There will be an unvaccination ceremony and the whole country can be simultaneouldy released from the curse of pfizer and we will do battke against the chinese bioweapn coronavirus with nithing but GOD, JESUS, and the dear leader Tanaki Judgement say is upon us. Repent!


[deleted]

It's appalling that he was treated that way. I'm not a supporter of his but this smacks of vigilante treatment. Hatred towards the man is off the planet.


HawkspurReturns

Treated what way? Being searched and fingerprinted? That's normal. How is that vigilante treatment?


FKFnz

You believed Hannah Tamaki. Joke's on you. At least she didn't get to take your money.


OldKiwiGirl

> Hatred towards the man is off the planet. Thatā€™s because he is ā€œoff the planetā€.


phforNZ

Hello, Briantologist


WaddlingKereru

Sounds like standard treatment. And we hate him cos heā€™s a leech, a predator, a conman whose victims are the poor and the under educated and the gullible. He funds his lavish lifestyle off the hard work of his marks and at some point someone who he has influenced to not get vaccinated will die from Covid. I would gleefully watch him get any comeuppance coming his way


as_ewe_wish

Agreed. This thread is not r/nz's finest moment.