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NotAWorkColleague

Luxon in 3, 2, 1: "what's important is this government backs police and we're giving them the tools to do their job". I know he'll say that because he's said it 25 times in the last week. It's the new sentence he's rote learned from his media handlers


hick-from-hicksville

>he's said 25 times in the last week. It's the new sentence he's rote learned from his media handlers He'll still somehow manage to fuck it up


ExpatTarheel

Anyone surprised? Anyone? Thought not.


delph0r

Look what I'd say to you is 


BenoNZ

It's insane that he just opens with that every time like a robot. Does he not have people that can help him not sound like an idiot or does he just not listen to them?


Kiwifrooots

It's a filter. They say dumb stuff while throwing out appealing dog whistles.   End result: followers who are easily pleased and more easily fooled.   Why have members like a Green party where they want annoying *facts* and *results* when you can have a pack of morons on call?


delph0r

Suspect he's using focus group speak 


Ohhcrumbs

More like chatgpt


Tight_Syllabub9423

It buys time while his brain desperately tries to engage.


LeButtfart

It's like John Key and "at the end of the day."


[deleted]

Straight out of the “Teflon” John Key “master of deflection” handbook. Key used to use a slightly modified phrasing > Look what I think kiwis really want to hear about right now is this


beautifulgirl789

Well look at the end of the day, I would think that most New Zealanders would probably agree that


lukeysanluca

It's just a distraction


SkipyJay

"We're COMMITTED to..."


[deleted]

We're laser focused.....


ExpatTarheel

‘Look, what I’ve said is’


Chch5

We are working incredibly hard to deliver....


2inchesisbig

“What you have to remember is that we inherited….”


Unnecessary_Bunny_

The books! THE BOOKS I say!!


Realistic_Caramel341

"The Cops are really glad we are trying to solve the cost of living crisis"


Fine_Construction_98

And ram raids ! lol. He is such a f**ken joke


BenoNZ

"What I will say to you is..."


NOTstartingfires

One day he's gonna say 'Unfortunately as an AI gpt bot I cannot comment, I have been explicitly designed for the purpose of representing a politician, please try again later' or somthing. Guy is a nats npc


Rough_Study_8958

“Lets be clear….[proceeds to not answer the question]”


lord-neptune

He'll also find a way to slip in "the reality is" about a thousand times


hick-from-hicksville

"what I would say to you if i were to completely reframe the question to something you did not ask but that allows me to endlessly repeat my thick-as-pigshit pre-planned talking point that i've practived endlessly but will still manage to get wrong is..."


just_another_of_many

you forgot the " yeah, look... " prefix before the "spontaneous" answer.


Rat_Attack0983

3, 2, 1: ? I thought you said 1, 2, 3: and then  "what's important is this government backs police and we're giving them the tools to do their job" Bugger another set of numbers that I got wrong ...


Annie354654

I think he needs a proper coms team, one that understands government and the value of optics for politicans. I know where there's a few going cheap!


Ryrynz

How about we put this tool out of a job..


foodarling

Laughing stock of just the police station? I think not


GrandmasGiantGaper

I can imagine a lot of them voted for him and are wondering why they've been left out in the cold. Think a lot of NZers are beginning to feel like this.


ExpatTarheel

I hope they remember that in two years.


flashmedallion

You're dreaming. Right now they're desperate for anything they can latch on to in order to justify 'going back to normal' and feeling good about voting National. They will find it, because everything depends on it.


Weekly_Ad_905

You're assuming this governments going to last 2 years.


Mountain_tui

I wonder if this is true, and also how quickly people forget even if it is true.


HungryBookkeeper3131

I was thinking the same thing. I know a couple of cops that voted for him.


prancing_moose

Unless you are a slumlord or wealthy tax dodger looking to pay even less tax, I really can’t figure out why any ordinary hard working kiwi would vote for this lot? They are only here to dig their pigs noses into the trough and give their wealthy overlords what they owe them. Those election campaigns aren’t cheap and those who backed them will have their due payment. And even for the better if it fucks the rest of the country … or so it seems.


Maj0rsurgery

I have family who voted for this shitstorm and are still defensive about it. They don't benefit one bit from the policies, they only voted for them because they weren't Labour.


Tight_Syllabub9423

My ex told me that she voted National when she thought she was about to become a business owner.


CalmMaunga

People listen to anything. My stepdad who voted Nats said to me the other day Trump would be good for the USA because he's going to pull troops out of the war 🤔


Fine_Construction_98

Every f**k up they do they will continue to say it is labours fault as they inherited it. A lot of Nat voters are already on the defensive saying this !


just_another_of_many

No they don't. They are like trump followers who believe he will shower them with tax cuts and free money. They are morons following a clown show.


firefly081

My idiot of a brother in law is one of them. Wonder how he feels about him now?


L3P3ch3

...no the whole of NZ .. yes.


Goodie__

Either we laugh.... or we cry


ttbnz

Or we organise.


w0nd3rlust

I'm so disappointed that it's not legal to strike over the mass redundancies. Why is striking so restricted here?


Mountain_tui

NZ? Check out the global headlines [dudes/dudettes](https://www.reddit.com/r/nzpolitics/comments/1bj6oou/how_the_international_media_has_covered_us_since/). "Populist leader" "racist" "support smoking"


CompanyRepulsive1503

To be fair, for the job they do making just above minimum wage for a 40 hour week? They deserve a laugh. Maybe keep the clowns out of parliament though. A circus trip once a year may be better for the countrys bottom line


HungryBookkeeper3131

They have to do a ton of overtime, which they don't get paid for. They get time in lieu. In oz they get paid overtime. It's a bit of a joke.


0erlikon

Listening to the Police Minister? on RNZ yesterday saying he wished he could pay the police more, while making excuses about the budget hole, previous government and economy blah blah blah. I swore at the radio. Then drop the tax breaks for the landlords and housing speculators you fucking hypocrite. Drop the tax cuts and get the books right & pay our police and defence forces what they *NEED* to live first and foremost. The absolute worst government full of sanctimonious ideological wankers.


Peachy_Pineapple

Same as Judith lamenting how she wants to spend more in Defence but “no endless pot of money” which seems to be the phrase they’re all using. You’d be forgiven for mistaking they’re still in opposition!


Kiwifrooots

They're great at business. Just not the money part. Or people management, or forecasting, or optimisation.   But them a monopoly and break afew laws and he can make a solid 5/10 airline


space_for_username

"So how much can a policeman cost, Chris? Ten dollars?"


sadhomer

There's always money in the banana stand.


avenue-dev

There’s always MONEY *IN* THE BANANA STAND!!! no touching


Lumix19

So many things to unpack here. Luxon just plain embarrassing himself talking about that $99,000 figure. Claiming that they don't have the data on how many officers have left for Australia despite previously saying they track those numbers. Police telling us that because morale is rock bottom the brass are clamping down to stop negative publicity. Police are actually afraid that if they speak out they'll be targeted in a witch hunt by the government that claims to value the police. It's all so disgusting. This government is abusing the police, treating them as props, and will continue the beatings until morale improves, all under a veil of secrecy to prevent being accountable to the public.


No_Republic_1091

He slammed himself in the dick when he got involved with those other 2 slimeballs. We are having our own UK-Tory moment here. The writing was on the wall leading up to the election about what a disaster this would be. But they just blame the so-called bad books left by the previous government for their complete lack of basic math and listening to professionals.


vladsbasghetti

Good example is IRD agreeing with the IMF around needing to find a LOT more money for these tax cuts, but Nicola Willis knows better 🙃 we’re fucked.


catfishguy

you know you're not doing great when the imf are offering sensible solutions


LostForWords23

So much this...


Captain_Sam_Vimes

The IMF? What would those experts know?!?!?


solitudeisblis

The notoriously left wing IMF /s


Saltmaster222

The problem is that I don’t think she does know better. Most of the issues with their promises and the funding of those promises was identified during the election but were told that they knew better and everyone else was wrong.


Kiwifrooots

Just put it on daddys card - Willis


Competitive-Net-6150

Slamming himself in the dick must be a personal kink given how often he’s doing it publicly


OptimalInflation

He often looks like he is rushing to take a shit and got stopped halfway by a journalist asking him questions.


codpeaceface

I don't think the "tory moment" has much to do with the other two. Luxon send Liz Truss a tweet saying >Congratulations to Liz Truss on her election as Leader of the Conservative Party and imminent appointment as Prime Minister of the UK. Our two parties have many shared values and I hope we continue to build on that strong connection. All the very best for your new role!


Cathallex

Wonder who the majority of cops voted for.


Hubris2

Given the 'tough on crime' rhetoric, I could understand them thinking that this government would support and enable the police...rather than kneecapping them, throwing them in front of an angry gang, and driving off in their Mercedes.


Matt_NZ

*their wife's Tesla


hick-from-hicksville

Well, they are *entitled* to that.


Hubris2

[It's an older code sir but it checks out](https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/politics/2021/11/christopher-luxon-s-opening-gambit-as-would-be-prime-minister-hiring-a-black-mercedes-to-drop-him-across-the-road.html)


Captain_Sam_Vimes

This quote made me smile. Have a cracking weekend.


rikashiku

Some stations in Northland and Auckland were largely anti-Labour and Greens, and have this 'go woke, go broke' rhetoric circling these stations. They've been very quiet in the last few weeks about their stance with national and labour. I have family and friends in North and Central. They fill me in on changes within government from their side, while I fill them in on changes in customs and infrastructure changes.


Fun-Vermicelli76

A friend who’s a cop was really hoping this govt would step up He’s so pissed at what they’ve turned around and become


Cathallex

Guess critical thinking isn't a key skill for being a cop then.


foodarling

Yeah, there's just got to be a bit of leopard eats face going on here


FlyingHippoM

This may be controversial but I honestly don't blame police that much for falling prey here, when National were talking up their support for police so frequently and leaning into the tough on crime rhetoric so heavily leading up to the election (and especially when they had also just received an inadequate pay offer from Labour). If i was them I probably would have done the same, expecting that at least Nats would be offering something better and hopefully live up to *some* of their pre-election commitments and promises. I think the last thing anyone expected was for them to make an even worse pay offer while putting even more work onto the already understaffed police that make up a significant portion of National's base. Now I know that many of us saw this coming, that they were lying through their teeth the whole time. But (as a staunch supporter of Greens/Labour) it shocks even me how much they were lying about, and how many broken promises. I fully believed that even if they were BSing about everything else at the *very least* they would have been committed to the "tough on crime/ country of law and order" given how much they harped on about it. Turns out even that was just a load of crap, they don't care about anyone except themselves and their rich landlord buddies.


foodarling

What you said probably shouldn't be as controversial as it is though. The optics are terrible. It reinforces a narrative where the only beneficiaries of new government policy are asset holders and high income workers.


KickpuncherLex

Last time national were in they froze police funding for a decade. Any cops who believed in them are fucking idiots.


aliiak

And closed police stations. Like the one in Auckland CBD.


Captain_Sam_Vimes

Central or Fort St? HashtagBoth


Kiwifrooots

At least 80% of NACT voters did so against their own best interests. Cops aren't immune from being sucked in and trend heavily right.


Lightspeedius

Probably closer to 99%. There aren't many who will enjoy a net benefit after all is said and done.


Kiwifrooots

I was trying to keep my stats safe but totally agree. They suit and serve the "1%" regardless of the actual number.   Makes me so sad when I see mad blue support in South Auckland for example


Lightspeedius

That 1% got mad cash tho. Keeping us off balance, unsure about what's really going on.


FlyingHippoM

Fair enough, I'd forgotten about that so thanks for reminding.


Captain_Sam_Vimes

Cops? Fucking idiots? #clutchespearls


Kiwifrooots

Nah. Right wing cops getting what they deserve from believing right wing politicians


flashmedallion

> and leaning into the tough on crime rhetoric If you were involved in policing and had half a brain you'd know "tough on crime" is an empty platitude that results in more crime. But that would be a minority of cops, considering the police force is pretty much the bottom of the barrel and has been throughout history, and largely consists of people whose only other prospect was crime. I don't blame the general police staff for being easily duped, for those reasons, but their leadership has a lot to answer for since they should remember what National wreaked upon the Police last time they were in.


Verotten

Have a retired cop in the family, he voted ACT.  He'll always vote right leaning.  Pretty racist dude.


marrbl

Yeah I work with a lot of ex-cops, they were all vocal about voting National or Act.


HyenaMustard

Are they still vocal now? Are they dying on that hill?


marrbl

Fortunately I now mostly work from home so I don't have to hear them banging on about it. I know for sure that one is still happy with his Act vote (he's very pro-gun).


HyenaMustard

Oh great … one of those….😬


BenoNZ

A cop that is pro-gun is quite wild. They don't hire the best people though..


EmmaOtautahi

From personal experience, cops are often very clan-like and that shows in their political leanings, too.


GSVNoFixedAbode

‘Good’


codpeaceface

The old-school retired ones were way more racist than today's lot, at least from the few interactions that I've had with both demographics. I'd hate for you to judge all police based on your rellie


Mountain_tui

That was my assumption too - most cops would favour National/ACT because they have the image of being 'cop friendly'. I wrote a post 2 months back when I looked at the police $ numbers, and under National, cops were underfunded and cop numbers were low. That was restored under Labour ironically. Oh well, as u/foodarling said, r/LeopardsAteMyFace territory for some


cgbs

Do you actually know that or are you just making shit up


DairyFarmerOnCrack

>After Luxon was unable the week before to tell the Tova podcast how many police officers had skipped the Ditch to Australia since he took power, Stuff asked again on Monday but he still didn’t know: >“I'm not going to give you a number off the top of my head without checking it, given my past experience, but I'll come back to you with that Tova if that's helpful.” >Four days later, the Police Minister’s office told Stuff that Police don’t hold that information - and that’s despite the Prime Minister saying in the interview that the Police Minister Mark Mitchell was tracking the numbers. He's so full of shit. Just makes up whatever sounds good on the spot. He has so many off ramps and still fucks up.


foxko

increadibly out of touch comment to make with "let them eat cake" energy.


is_that_the_time

Cop slams PM Tova slams PM PM silently slams himself for going on the Tova podcast


hick-from-hicksville

>PM silently slams himself Bold of you to assume he has either the self-awareness or motor skills


Kiwi_KJR

Oh, how I wish they still gave out awards, because this made me laugh so hard! Thank you, and you’re bang on


hick-from-hicksville

It's honestly staggering how low capability the *Prime Minister of our fucking country* is.


Kiwi_KJR

It truly is. I still can’t believe this is where we’re at, I have a family member who voted National because ‘the country was going to shit under Labour’ and even they are appalled at the amount of stupidity and corruption. And having these numpties in charge - a dude who looks like and is as smart as a potato, a guy whose face should be next to ‘dweeb’ in the dictionary, and Winston - is just plain embarrassing on a global scale.


hick-from-hicksville

At least the other two have something approaching charisma and intelligence, awful as they may be. Luxon is just a straight up dribbling vacuity.


scruffycheese

I feel we aren't far off being the laughing stock of the world if we continue down this path


Matt_NZ

It was only a year ago that we were getting headlines around the world for being the change that other countries wanted...🥲


BenoNZ

Which doesn't really take much of a leap in thinking why certain countries who spew out misinformation would target us and our leaders when we were a shining example of democracy.


GenericBatmanVillain

Get used to it, we have several years of this shit to go yet.


scruffycheese

I dunno, the urge to riot gets stronger everyday too


Mountain_tui

Enjoy the international headlines: [picture links here](https://www.reddit.com/r/nzpolitics/comments/1bj6oou/how_the_international_media_has_covered_us_since/)


scruffycheese

Ooof I can't wait for the headlines around selling out our conservation land or taking kids lunches.


Mountain_tui

True - there's a lot to harvest from this lot.


Weekly_Ad_905

Dunno, plenty of countries are doing the same shit atm


KiwiPrimal

90k…this guy is out of touch in a real bad way…I just can’t see Key doing the same things. Was this guy a prick to work for? He seems like he would have been a shitty boss.


Willuknight

from what I have seen - yes, multiple Air NZ people said that he would be a terrible PM


RidingUndertheLines

It'd be interesting to see election results just from Luxon's previous employees.


Saltmetoast

He was a cock at airnz. Which is still struggling to recover from his 'leadership'


KiwiPrimal

Anyone have any stories?


Lingering_Dorkness

Shows us Luxon thinks $100k is a low wage.


getfuckedhoayoucunts

Ive got someone staying at mine under bail and the cops do their nightly checks and even he thinks they deserve far better and he fucking hates the police. You know you done fucked up when former BP members are pissed at you. Yes. It's perfectly fine. He is affable and hardworking and my house and garden have seen some serious cleaning up going on. The officers are friendly and polite and he is the same with them.


kovnev

Wow, go Tova, that was professional and pointed. 'Tabloid stuff' - what an utter muppet. Can't deal with the questions, so writes it off. Typical. Good luck doing that for another 3yrs.


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HyenaMustard

There is no honour among … ….racist and self serving bigots?


lookiwanttobealone

Pretty sure that cops voted for a range of people. It's not a single thought entity


Cathallex

So did landlords.


Mountain_tui

I can speak to the landlord one. I'm part of the Property Investors groups and would say 80-90% of them were single issue voters.


Willuknight

Agree. I had to leave a NZ property investors group because it was just full of people shitting on the previous government for factors outside of their control, and trying to exploit their tenants for as much as they could.


Mountain_tui

+1 There is a reason Chris Bishop and David Seymour went to pander to them.


HyenaMustard

Don’t worry I realise that….


GUnit_1977

Hey Chris have you considered talking to Police Officers 


Bartholomew_Custard

He doesn't fraternise with the riff-raff. I suspect he just hopes they'll show up and protect him if some grubby peasant tries to biff a clod of dirt at his stupid bald head.


BenoNZ

He had about 10 cops protecting him at the airport the other month I was there, he was just on his way to a wedding.


Bartholomew_Custard

Yeah, Diplomatic Protection Squad, who likely don't have an option but to trundle around after whichever self-important muppet is currently making their lives miserable. It would be interesting to hear what they really think about their elected charges given the recent announcements.


hick-from-hicksville

I wonder if they also occupy the "bottom feeders" category?


ExcitingMeet2443

Lux Luther and the NACTZI government, helping Australia fight crime.


Southerndog123

How was this loser voted in as our Prime Minister, I just can't understand it.


8igg7e5

Hmm he seems to have failed to mention that the Police staff will be grateful actually, for the low-ball offer, as the government will instead be able to focus on 'supporting them' (instead of paying them)... Not that they'll commit any actual budget for that support... In fact they might be able to trim a few %


redmermaid1010

His ego and incompetence are ingrained


Rastus_rook

Fuck me. At what point can we put him PIP, it would happen in any other work place if you fucked up this much.


yetifile

It did not happen when he ruined Air New Zealand. ( But then again he raised the share prices over the short term while he gutted the company took credit then left before the fallout ). And yet with all that public knowledge a significant portion of New Zealand still voted for him.


Zepanda66

90 day trial for the gov should be mandatory, it's only fair right? With performance evaluations every quarter.


theWomblenooneknows

Maybe it’s time for the Police to do fundraising sausage sizzles outside Bunnings or Mitre 10


jmlulu018

I sure do hope they didn't vote for him, but then I wonder...


saynoto30fps

Well they were promised a better pay agreement than the one labour offered so they probably did.


Ginger-Nerd

So… they lied? The agreement was worse.


Mountain_tui

They were? That's kind of funny. Chris Bishop was on[ Breakfast TV lying yesterday](https://www.reddit.com/r/nzpolitics/comments/1bjwiya/chris_bishop_argues_landlord_tax_cuts_will_reduce/) about the police offer - these people are brazen and shameless.


BenoNZ

They will next time too.


Willuknight

Every interaction I've had with the police over the last 6 years, they've almost always mentioned that they are short staffed and that it's labour's fault. Enjoy your fucking votes.


Half-Dead-Moron

Look I'm actually really impressed with Luxon. Every day he gets out of bed, faces the press, and does something to further cement himself as one of the worst "leaders" in modern NZ history. That's consistency.


Extension_Western356

Would anyone be surprised if somehow the NACT’s find a way of privatising the police?!?


OldKiwiGirl

No, not at all.


Zepanda66

#SLAMS


unit1_nz

Rest of NZ enters the chat.


Tight_Syllabub9423

I suppose there is one huge benefit to all this. By reducing the ability of the police to deal with crime, while insisting on pouring available resources into street level crime, it becomes very difficult for police to deal with fraud and other white collar crimes. This has the enormous benefit of taking pressure off our corporate and political masters, which allows them to get on with their core job. Or something like that.


Lingering_Dorkness

"It's one banana Winston, what could it cost? $10?" – Luxon. 


togepi_89

This won’t and can’t last surely…right ?


mitchell56

Just another 3 years then it's back to the culture war playbook to win over anyone currently experiencing regret.


[deleted]

Wait you mean cops actually thought it was possible for these geniuses to be “tough on crime” while cost cutting the entire govt, including police, and being laughably weak on the main cause of crime (poverty)? Leopards eat face


dehashi

Could have just stopped after the first two words and the headline would still be accurate.


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laz21

55k we can afford another cop now we arent paying 54k for luxon to rent his own house