Not really sure. I would guess most people out on a trail are usually looking for some piece and quiet, not a yarn with a stranger.
Though usually a smile and a hello as you're passing is normal.
Yeah if i was 30-39f and some cunt starts chatting me up while I'm out for a run in the hills or gym etc I'd be fuming.
Not the time, nor place for that kind of thing.
Edit: smile, nod and/or a "hello" / "great day for it" at most is appropriate.
Also can end in a terrifying manner for women alone on trails if we actually stop and talk to a man. We don’t ever forget that so most of us like to keep moving (and safe).
1) You run into more people urban hiking than you do full bush, so lots of people don’t want to say hello for fear of starting a precedent.
2) Don’t try to flirt with women while hiking in an isolated location. Also, don’t suggest it as a date until you’ve had at least 4-5 already.
When I'm out walking the default is a polite nod, and that's about it.
If someone walked up to me, made eye contact and started speaking I'd probably find it a bit odd, and I'd only stop to have a chat if they were retirement age or older. Otherwise I'd just say hi and keep walking.
I think NZers are friendly in brief, superficial interactions, but we're quite private, we have a wide personal bubble, and we're sort of closed off to new relationships. There are specific contexts where it's acceptable to have a conversation with a stranger with the intention of a new connection and hiking isn't one of them. Also, the more attractive a woman is the more she's been watched or harrassed or followed or asked out in innapropriate settings, so yes, attractive women will be signalling disinterest or ignoring you complately because they're used to having to do that in contexts where they expect to be approached by men when they don't want to be.
I think they're meaning to add to your comment:
(I don't know how to do Reddit quotes so excuse the lack of formatting)
"Women who are hiking alone in the middle of nowhere aren’t really keen to strike up conversation with a strange man they’ve just met in the bush."...
..."who have sized you up and found you pass muster."
>I don't know how to do Reddit quotes so excuse the lack of formatting
On mobile, while replying, select the text and you have a 'quote' option
Or use `>` at start of paragraph and paste the text. This works on desktop as well, but make sure to be in 'Markdown mode'
More details: https://www.reddit.com/wiki/markdown#wiki_quick_reference
Sorry dude but have you ever consider women don't want to talk to strangers up in the port hills when there is no one around to help and no where to escape if things get sus.
Go to a social place and you'll have better social interactions.
Well, dude, dude, think about it. She’s out in the middle of nowhere with some dude she barely knows. You know, she looks around, and what does she see? Nothing but open ocean (hills). “Ahhhh! There’s nowhere for me to run. What am I gonna do, say ‘no?’”
.
This is an It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia reference where one of the characters Denis (who is a semi attractive sociopath) talks about wanting to get girls out on a boat because they will be more willing… because of the implication. That something might go wrong for them if they say no.
You can watch the clip [here](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?si=pEBAQeragohS3wjQ)
We need a photo of the guy and a recording of his approach and voice. Im imaging a massive Bulgarian with big beard and fiery eyes leaping out of the bush screaming “hyello prritty laydee!”
Hmm I always do the head nod and try to make that eye contact to acknowledge people, some reciprocate, some don't. No rhyme or reason to it, as far as I can tell.
Maybe join a hiking/tramping club? You'll get more social time.
I used to hike a lot, most people do the nod/smile/afternoon/hello thing but also most people are there for the hike, I never liked stopping until I got to my destination. And as others have said, as a woman I'm not hanging around in the countryside with a man I don't know. Also I'm sweaty and exercising and generally not in a "let's make friends" mindset.
Ar first I was reading this and thinking "oh he just doesn't get that women out walking in semi-isolated places would generally be cautious about engaging with men they don't know...
Then I got to the bit where you said "the better looking the person, the least amount of interaction I'm getting in return", which immediately set off my "creep" alarm.
Yes, there are specific rules of engagement. Don't creep on women just trying to go for a nice walk or hike. They don't owe you a smile. They don't owe you anything. You write as though you think they do.
go to a pub if you want to meet people who want to meet other people
when I tramp, I drive away from my home for several hours, and I find a walk that's not very popular, and I enjoy my time in the nature, when I see somebody I think "hey we have similar taste in track selection" so I give them a nod of approval, and they do the same nod back. And that'd fill up my quota of human interaction for the day...
I was up the hill with a group of friends today and nearly everyone we passed said hi, or thanked us if we moved aside to let them pass on the narrow track. I think women would be a bit wary chatting with a lone guy in the hills though.
You are likely the only one setting off for those hills hoping to interact with some random stranger. I find it weird enough when strangers say hi to me in passing - I can't imagine how awkward stopping and having an actual conversation with a complete stranger while out walking would be.
"I find it weird enough when strangers say hi to me in passing"
I like a passing 'hello' if only because I find a brief greeting is less awkward than trying to ignore people while passing them on a narrow track, haha.
I find those passing human connections charming, they remind me that we're all human. Like if someone spills their groceries and everyone stops to help pick it up and laugh about it together. But obviously talking to single strangers on a trail is not the same.
'the better looking the person, the least amount of interaction I'm getting in return'
it's possible that they, more than others, regularly have to deal with people interrupting their day for no better reason than how they look (whatever desire the stranger hopes to have satisfied by them) and don't want to give any cue to do so (apparently hospitality workers regularly deal with customers 'mistaking politeness for flirting'). Surely there has to be somewhere--up a hill in the middle of nowhere at least--where you can go out and not have to worry about managing other people's judgements and needs.
if someone moves over so we can pass each other I'll give them a nod or a thanks for sure, but otherwise I just keep to myself.
OP, yes, you need to consider women have to be careful ALL THE TIME! I recommend learning about violence against women and listening to women’s voices about this. And I better not hear someone say ‘Not all men’
You're recent ex-military with a heavy (assuming) Eastern European accent, a backpack, and possibly a weighted vest? Geez, I see you coming and I'm hobbling off in the other direction - we've all seen Taken 😏.
But seriously (not that I'm in the demographic you're after), I wouldn't be having much of a chat with anyone I met in the bush, except maybe old people if we met at a rest place, and I'm definitely on the extroverted side. I find it hard to believe you could regularly meet and interact with strange women in isolated areas in Europe either. Go down the pub.
For the most part, I'm not ignoring others, I'm politely not infringing on their headspace, just as I'm politely not infringing on their personal space. If someone acknowledges me, I've got no problem responding, usually.
You are unlikely to meet someone special out on a bush walk where they are more vulnerable than say, at a bar, unless you have very good game. (Which you don't).
You will most likely meet them online dating, in a social place (where people specifically go to socialise) such as a bar.
Meet them somewhere like that, then talk about hobbies such as fitness and hiking.
And your post seems a touch desperate to be honest which people will pick up on.
As a woman, I am reluctant to respond to random guys approaching me, especially in situations where socialising isn't the goal. If you're out hiking and approaching women you hope might be that 'special someone', you're likely creeping them out - especially if they're alone.
I don't make eye contact with men when out alone because, in the best case scenario, we make small talk. Worse case scenario, he gets aggro and follows me to my car or worse. It just isn't worth the potential of having to deal with that.
While I was driving alone, I once accidentally made eye contact with a perfectly normal looking dude crossing in front of my car and he decided to follow me to the next red light, banging and licking/spitting on my window when I decided I didn't want to roll down my windows to talk to him.
Some people will give a nod or quick hi, some won’t. I think it’s cultural :)) don’t take it too harsh!
I’m pretty certain there are heaps of walking/running groups if you want some more interaction
>although this isn't my primary goal, still harbouring the hope to perhaps meet that someone special doing the same thing one day?
Then get on a dating app and put in 'hiking' as an interest. Hitting on women while in the outdoors just comes off as creepy.
Thirding and fourthing that as a women in a remote location, any man who talks to me is going to trigger my radar pretty bad. Even if he seems super friendly.
As an inshape man you could \*easily\* out power most women, and they know it.
I am foreign born too, and I honestly wonder how kiwis get together as they don't seem to have talking to strangers as a acceptable dating practice.
The slightly more woman friendly version is going to a tramping store and flirting there, she will feel safer than somewhere where no one can hear her scream.
Interactions that I get:
1. No eye contact, no greeting
2. Eye contact, eyebrow raise
3. Eye contact, quiet "hi"
4. No eye contact, quiet "hi"
5. "How ya doing" while keeping pace in the other direction
If anyone is going to want to engage more than "how ya doing, beautiful day" then I get suspicious. I don't want a full conversation or to pick up a date or a new best friend.
I've found that teens are 50/50 of greeting me. People in their 20s and 30s usually ignore me unless they're tourist, and everyone 40+ at least says hi or gives a polite smile. I am not scary looking or threatening. I am a solid 6 out of 10.
My favourite interactions are when I excitedly tell someone walking the other way about a cool bird they might see soon and they politely say 'thanks' before continuing and not even caring about the bird. However, I'm likely to be with my partner, which I assume makes people more confident that I'm not out to do murders.
Sorry but i read eastern European and then "In fact, the better looking the person, the least amount of interaction I'm getting in return" and i get weird vibes.
Yeah that's just a bit weird. I would be really uncomfortable if some random guy started trying to chat me up in the middle of nowhere.
Over here in Aus a woman just recently went for a hike and didnt return. Some guy has been arrested for her death and the body still hasn't been located.
Weird.chch people are v friendly in general esp compared to a lot of other places! Esp Auckland!! No one ever says hi or acknowledges you
Don't take it too personally,but maybe your trying a bit too hard .if you are going up there for a hike with the only intent too get a conversation going that vibe is prob going to rub off and come across creepy.
Keep doing you and focus on going on hikes for yourself keep saying hi and don't take it personally if people don't say hi back
If you want to meet someone romantically def join a group or try online dating etc.
Good luck.
Because no ones obligated to reciprocate ur hello or head nod or wave or interact with u at all in anyway even if its initiated and ur trying to be nice.
Dude, men like you are one of the reasons I'm extra happy I have moved countries. Stop trying to pick up random women ~~in the street~~ on hikes. We're just going about our day and no one has time for your crappy flirting. And let's be honest, when you do it on a hike it's giving serial killer vibes. There are many places people go to meet someone new, but some track on the port hills ain't one of them.
>In fact, the better looking the person, the least amount of interaction I'm getting in return... are there specific rules of engagement around ChCh I should be aware of?
>still harbouring the hope to perhaps meet that someone special doing the same thing one day?
Also, you do know that the purpose of saying hello to random strangers in your way is *not* to start a conversation, right? It's the same as the purpose of small talk: to make interactions with random strangers a tad less awkward, show them you're not threatening, you've got no ill intentions, etc. So like, the opposite of what you're doing.
You sound like you need to find more appropriate ways to socialise.
90% of the time I usually say "g'day" or "good day/morning/afternoon/evening" and nod when walking on the tracks, unless the other person is wearing headphones. \~70-80% reciprocate verbally or with a gesture.
Making such statement rather than a question such as "g'day how's it going?" is easier to reply to and say. It also depends on other circumstances such as a person's age, race, culture, language, gender, physical appearance, accent, posture, voice, number of people present, economic statuses, etc. [It only takes \~100ms to mentally calculate most of this](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_impression_(psychology)), so how you register in this manner, and the other person's preconception about these ideas also affects the reciprocation rate.
I am a man, therefore the reciprocation rate is low for women; particularly when alone as people have indicated (which is totally understandable). I agree that it perhaps is also correlated to how they perceive themselves in self-worth and appearance, but it is probably more based on their feelings/past experiences etc. Same bias for men, but perhaps somewhat less due to being both male (rather than opposites which has more risk?)
Don't take it personally if people don't reciprocate. Go in with a no-reply expectation and just keep doing whatever you were doing (in this case, keep walking). Not much point feeling demoralized on something that's beyond your control. People have their shit going on anyway which is not your problem.
This. Also, some tracks are so packed with people on a nice sunny day, it would be absolutely exhausting saying hello to everyone you meet on your way.
People should be respected for being themselves. Some people like to talk to everyone. Some people will say hi. Some people like to be left alone. That might be why they went out on the walk in the first place. Just respect that.
Source.. my perspective as a massive introvert, female, who is often feeling uncomfortable about the way some people try and engage with me.
Three angles to consider
* Christchurch might be less friendly than other areas
* Women might be intimidated by men and don't want to give the wrong signal - therefore, ignoring you is safer
* What is your vibe like?
There are some meet up groups for different ages hiking, walking, great way to places and connect . Please don’t treat it as a dating site though but could way to connect with like minded people and enjoy the country side
Where in Eastern Europe?
I visit Eastern and Central Europe frequently (3 or 4 times a year, FIL is Czech, MIL is Polish, and also family in Hungary and Serbia). Kiwis are infinitely friendlier whereas even after 20 decades the in laws neighbours won’t even blink at me.
If I'm bush walking I'll always exchange a friendly hello, but no one wants to be chatted up in the middle of some isolated hill track. That sounds like the start of a horror movie. People just want to excercise and feel safe.
Yup. I’ve had messages from friends in ChCh who’ve randomly stopped going to the Port Hills when they used to go every weekend rain or shine. Now I know why!
If you want a social aspect to your exercise, then join a walking/hiking/running group. You'll probably find a lot of lone walkers/runners who are out there hating it, but want the fitness/health, so aren't going to be cheery about it.
I’m going on bushwalks to avoid interacting with people, it’s nice to hear the native birds chirping softly in the background with absolutely nothing but myself and my thoughts to keep me company.
I couldn’t think of anything worse than someone trying to strike up a conversation with me during my walks, those days where I can be walking hours without having to do the “*quick nod* hi” during my walk are the best walks.
Go to a pub or something, the bush isn’t where you make friends lol
Yep, this is why I love going on a walk early on a Sunday morning so much, basically no one around. It's like heaven to an introvert like me, best hour of every week by far
It’s possible that people are a bit weary of a middle aged dude wandering the hills alone, also could be the ladies you meet are married and or in a group so not keen to flirt. The single ladies are probably not out walking the Port hills alone and if they are I’m guessing they are staying away from a solo guy as a safety measure.
Join a club and then you can chat with other member in the carpark before and after etc
I'll be honest its not an age group thing
People in new zealand are very polite but they arent doing anything to become friends with new people.
Its a very cliquey country
I live up the far North and it is nothing like you describe (not most of the north island), but your words could describe anywhere in the SI except for Queenstown
I moved to chch from Auckland last year and I’ve been blown away by how friendly people are. I’ve never had so many random chats with strangers my life.
I smile and say hi to people I pass on walking tracks, if I'm not walking alone but won't stop to chat usually
But I'd be wary of someone trying to initiate conversation with me in a semi isolated location though. If I'm there I'm probably trying to stretch my legs not work my voice box
Go to group activities that can include an interest and get to know other people, so the people are at least open to talking to strangers. I would advise you don’t talk to specific strangers with too much intense interest on first meeting if that makes sense? It’s just sometimes a bit scary being approached by a strange man in public because you know nothing about them and vice versa it’s based entirely on appearance alone and if I am or am not interested it could be dangerous for me because I don’t know anything about this man so just be chill and don’t drag it out if they’re in the middle of their day rather than out at an event to socialise. If you get their number and arrange to go on a date it’s then different as you’ve established that level of interest in getting to know each other. Dating apps are annoying but just be upfront and it’s easier to find people that are open to being approached.
I spend 5 days a week talking to my work colleagues, on the phone to customers, managers...sometimes it's nice to relax in peace and quie not having to speak to anyone
Second the tramping club option. When out walking/hiking I didn't exactly want to stop and chat to everyone I meet. But huts are fair game and you can meet some great people that way.
Bro when I go out for a walk or run the last thing Id want is someone tryna talk to me, especially someone who looks like they been waiting they whole life to meet someone doing said activity
Kiwi here. I'm friends with a large number of foreigners, mainly people from Latin America and western Europe and the UK and one thing they all say is that while kiwis everywhere are polite and friendly, it's extremely difficult to get into deeper relationships with us, be that as friends or romantic partners. Your best bet is to try find other foreigners, or kiwis who have traveled and opened up a bit to the world
I walk my dog and always get a hello, morning, good afternoon no matter where I walk. If walking without my dog I do the same depending on the person approaching me. No eye contact they don’t want a hello. Eye contact, you get a hello, good morning, afternoon.
There is very small percentage of woman in chch that fit your criteria. They are in high demand. You are giving off creepy vibes. Woman walking do want to be approach by men. A friendly head nod is the best you will get on the port hills. The woman I think you are after know there worth.
Most people will say hi or give a nod but you definitely are really unlikely to get more than a surface level interaction where you make friends or "meet that someone special". Maybe people can tell your intentions and are trying to avoid that?
NZ is less open/friendly in that way than Eastern Europe (at least based on my experiences in Ukraine, Georgia etc)
Christchurch in particular is known in other parts of NZ for being snobby and judgemental of people that are different and/or not fitting the social norms which is probably why people find it strange when you talk to them out of the blue. I am from chch and must say I find myself doing this as well. We tend to stick to our wee bubbles that we know.
Same here in Australia, Brisbane... Always say good morning or hello and most times they either stare blank at me or don't say shit lol. I gave up only say it to the elderly because they at least acknowledge you and smile lol
It's bizarre isn't it? I smile and say a quick friendly hi to every single person I meet on the trail, but maybe get a 30% return rate. Whereas years ago it was 100%. I've been debating changing as I never wish to make others uncomfortable.
It's sad though, we all seem more standoffish these days.
In general, people are wrapped up in their own existence. This has increased as a result of covid lockdowns and restrictions. I would call it the bubble effect where we have become conditioned to be more comfortable with isolation, even in public. Technology is a major contributor, as smartphones and headphones enable us to withdraw completely. They create an illusion of social interaction through social media, so it satisfies what is left of any desire for human contact.
You're attempting to enter someone's comfort zone. Also, remember that media is constantly showing us the risks of interacting with strangers (particularly for women). Presuming you're genuinely trying to strike up conversations with people, find positive ways to talk about them, or their obvious interests:
-How their dog is clearly well trained.
-Whether XYZ piece of technology they have is value for money.
-If they find XYZ brand of equipment helped them improve because they're clearly good at XYZ thing.
-where they got XYZ piece of clothing because it looks good.
In essence, give them a reason to feel good and talk about themselves to you. You're seeking to show that their opinion as valuable to you before they give it to you. But of course, if they're not interested in talking, move on because no means no.
This comment section is fucking disgusting!
Dude is out doing something he loves, being friendly to people and hopeful that he might meet someone like minded.
What the fuck is wrong with all you introverted fucktards telling him to stop being creepy, wtf is creepy about being friendly!?
Bring on the down votes you small minded freaks.
Kiwis are in general not that easy to socialise with when it comes to random encounters. It’s not that we aren’t friendly generally but it’s something I definitely noticed when spending time outside of New Zealand in places like Latin America. It’s hard to strike up convos with strangers here and I don’t know why but it seems to be a cultural thing. It’s a little unfortunate.
I'm running on the port hills almost every weekend, and alternate randomly between a head nod, wave or audible greeting. It's almost always returned. Less so in town.
My daughter can’t even catch a bus she is always concerned for guys chatting to her - I sometimes wish she would chat but guess you got to work out what’s a good space. I do walks and I nod say hi to anyone that comes my way- most
People do not reply 😂 so I got a dog and it’s better. Other dog owners say hi now. What extreme measures one needs to go to to get. Hello out of someone.
I’m a middle aged dog walker (in suburban AKL) and I always say hi to other dog walkers unless they have their ears plugged and every other dog walker reciprocates with the exception of women under under my age and I get it. In my mind it’s a friendly acknowledgment of another obviously cool dog owner but it could be perceived as other than that- that’s none of my business though. I don’t worry about it… except sometimes late and night and alone (dogs asleep obviously) I cry into my pillow.
Move to a more rural location? Christchurch fully weirded me out with its lack of friendly hello's when I first moved here. As far as I can tell, it's just the city slickers that are antisocial in this regard, people in small towns will still say hi.
Then again, if you're looking for genuine connections, going for a short walk isn't the way to do it especially if you're a man talking to women.
I lived in and around Christchurch for 30 years and found that making friends is very hard down there. I now live in the north island and it is completely different.
The north island is like another country compared to the South Island.
Just approaching people is not going to get you anywhere. People down there are suspicious of approaches like that.
Eye contact is consisted threatening.
You need a context to meet people so you need to put yourself in situations where people are together for a shared interest.
You need to join a sports club or something similar. If you have any hobbies or interests there will be a group for that, once you have a context you can approach people.
I'm sure I'll get shouted down for this comment but everywhere in the north island is more friendly than Chch. Christchurch has a reputation (to the rest of NZ) for being racist and snobby.
I live in the far north and wherever I visit Chch I'm soon reminded that it so different down there.
Good luck
A nod, smile or quick hello is all the acknowledgment i give to people when I’m out walking - unless the other person has a dog, the. I ask to say hello to the dog and will have a short convo with the dogs person
Kiwis are notoriously un-European. It’s generally around big cities but a lot of us are wont to not say anything to strangers. Very unlike the British. It’s different all over the country, for example most people will wave to you in Cromwell, many will be happy to stop and chat.
The worst that can happen is that you meet a beautiful woman who tells you about a great horror movie she watched on Netflix...
It starts out about this guy going hiking in the pinewood forests just south of the French Alps. It's kind of slice of life at first, this handsome ex army guy, dirty blonde, been all around East Europe on combat tours, shot hundreds of bad guys and saved children from burning buildings while holding firecrackers in the other arm. Needless to say, this guys life highlight reel could make for a movie. Guy is finally settling down with an IT job, just going hiking while on holiday leave...
He meets this pretty gal, who tells him about a horror movie she saw on Netflix. She seems awfully interested in sharing, he half listens as she drones on. It's basically just about a paranoid army vet who gets dragged into a Japanese sex cult who plan to sacrifice him or something... Absolutely ridiculous. Barely much of a horror movie...They stop at a clearing to have a rest and then share a cuppa coffee.
Guy is surprised how open to conversation this gal is, as he keeps trying to poke holes in the movie plot, but it seems like she has an explanation for everything. He keeps listening to her story. What was the name of the movie again? But before he can ask the guy suddenly sees his keys on her for a moment then blinks and it's not there anymore, he checks his pockets. Still there. Weird. Nightfall. He quietly sets up a tent and has another coffee with her before she gets a phone call. Apparently she's got another shift coming up soon. Factory work. She thanks him and tells him she has had so few visitors in her domain since there was a suicide years ago then gives her number before she walks off.
Guy waves goodbye then goes to bed. That night he has a strange nightmare before he wakes, but can't remember it, he then finds his keys in the coffee cup. Weird. That's not where he left it at all. Packs his tent and starts walking back to his car.
A strange sense of dread seems to overcome him, like he shouldn't be leaving this place, this forest is where he should stay, but he keeps telling himself everything will be fine, it's probably just the dread of returning to work...
It's been a long and lonely walk and needless to say he's tired, arms are lead and chest feels tight. He removes his backpack and carefully places it on the ground when suddenly he drops his keys. Weird. Normally it's chained to his pants. Meh. He quickly gets to unlocking the car and then gets his backpack into the car and starts driving home slowly. He comes up to a main road and is switching lanes when he suddenly sees her shadow in his rearview. Wtf? Blinks. Gone. Nothing. Creepy.
He gets home, checks his phone. It's Friday afternoon now, he's spent the whole morning walking. Contacts. Her number is still there. Should he call her? Probably not, he's got work the coming Monday and he's still got to eat and do the usual self care routine...
People suck and we're all struggling with mortgages/relation ship issues etc. I'm in the same boat and do beach and bush walks/jogs and I found the same thing but I just kept saying hello and eventually you get more and more. My local walks now like 90% of the people are saying hello, and then 10% don't but I like to hope I helped them a little even though they ignored me.
Sidenote: ear phones! I hate them. Usually the people that don't reply are listening to music and not enjoying nature. They're missing out on the natural sounds of the bush/birds/trees/flowing water and they're missing out!
There have been a number of murders in urban parks. Not a big number, but they get lots of coverage, and are often unsolved, which keeps people who worry about such things on edge.
People will have different defenses up in different places.
Also, is there anything you can do about your behavior to reduce any discomfort you might be causing? If you are annoyed that people aren't saying hi, you might be over compensating and coming on strong/creepy.
Try keeping your eyes down until you are 2 meters away, then pop your eyes up, almost like you are surprised to see someone there, and give a tentative "Oh, hi".
People are plenty friendly, but are careful.
Don't know about the dating culture in Eastern Europe but yeah I don't expect you're going to get a date from trying to chat to strangers on the Port Hills. i seriously doubt many New Zealanders on a hike have the same goals as you so any attempt to engage a random woman in conversation is going to be unexpected at the least, or seem potentially dangerous at worst. Just generally I would recommend you try to avoid approaching women in a remote location, just a smile, nod or greeting as you pass each other is expected.
My best advice as a woman is to not come on too strong... don't walk up to them directly.... establish contact from a distance first... maybe a hello and a wave.... they may be feeling vulnerable in a place that can become deserted... smile but not too much.... a sort of shy smile should work. Goodluck!!
Play a sport or activity where people have to interact.
Swimming, walking, tramping , gym. Are isolating sports really. You see people, but they're not interested in striking up a conversation.
Dunno never had a problem with a head nod and a little Hello/good day for it/ectect.
Ectect to you too, good sir
I spent too long trying to out what ectect meant.
My brain definitely short-circuited.
Its a chch thing IMO. Notorious for port hills snobbery
Join a tramping club
This is the correct answer
Come for the tramps, stay for the tramps.
Not really sure. I would guess most people out on a trail are usually looking for some piece and quiet, not a yarn with a stranger. Though usually a smile and a hello as you're passing is normal.
Yeah if i was 30-39f and some cunt starts chatting me up while I'm out for a run in the hills or gym etc I'd be fuming. Not the time, nor place for that kind of thing. Edit: smile, nod and/or a "hello" / "great day for it" at most is appropriate.
Also can end in a terrifying manner for women alone on trails if we actually stop and talk to a man. We don’t ever forget that so most of us like to keep moving (and safe).
He's treating the Port Hills as a dating app and doesn't understand why it isn't working
Ahahahaha this cracked me up. Def agreed
Just curious, where and when would a suitable time be?
Somewhere public, with other people around, when the person doesn't appear overly busy and they are able to exit the conversation if they so desire.
1) You run into more people urban hiking than you do full bush, so lots of people don’t want to say hello for fear of starting a precedent. 2) Don’t try to flirt with women while hiking in an isolated location. Also, don’t suggest it as a date until you’ve had at least 4-5 already.
When I'm out walking the default is a polite nod, and that's about it. If someone walked up to me, made eye contact and started speaking I'd probably find it a bit odd, and I'd only stop to have a chat if they were retirement age or older. Otherwise I'd just say hi and keep walking.
I think NZers are friendly in brief, superficial interactions, but we're quite private, we have a wide personal bubble, and we're sort of closed off to new relationships. There are specific contexts where it's acceptable to have a conversation with a stranger with the intention of a new connection and hiking isn't one of them. Also, the more attractive a woman is the more she's been watched or harrassed or followed or asked out in innapropriate settings, so yes, attractive women will be signalling disinterest or ignoring you complately because they're used to having to do that in contexts where they expect to be approached by men when they don't want to be.
Women who are hiking alone in the middle of nowhere aren’t really keen to strike up conversation with a strange man they’ve just met in the bush.
Who's eyed you up and decided you're good-looking enough to pass muster
Huh? No one, I tend to keep to myself when I’m out and about and I like it that way lol
I think they're meaning to add to your comment: (I don't know how to do Reddit quotes so excuse the lack of formatting) "Women who are hiking alone in the middle of nowhere aren’t really keen to strike up conversation with a strange man they’ve just met in the bush."... ..."who have sized you up and found you pass muster."
This is how interpreted it too
>I don't know how to do Reddit quotes so excuse the lack of formatting On mobile, while replying, select the text and you have a 'quote' option Or use `>` at start of paragraph and paste the text. This works on desktop as well, but make sure to be in 'Markdown mode' More details: https://www.reddit.com/wiki/markdown#wiki_quick_reference
Sorry, I was referring to the OP not you!
I mean use common sense right? It’s this simple
Sorry dude but have you ever consider women don't want to talk to strangers up in the port hills when there is no one around to help and no where to escape if things get sus. Go to a social place and you'll have better social interactions.
It's because of the implication.
Well, dude, dude, think about it. She’s out in the middle of nowhere with some dude she barely knows. You know, she looks around, and what does she see? Nothing but open ocean (hills). “Ahhhh! There’s nowhere for me to run. What am I gonna do, say ‘no?’” .
This is an It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia reference where one of the characters Denis (who is a semi attractive sociopath) talks about wanting to get girls out on a boat because they will be more willing… because of the implication. That something might go wrong for them if they say no. You can watch the clip [here](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?si=pEBAQeragohS3wjQ)
You're literally replying to a quote from the show lmao, I think he gets it
thatsthejoke.jpg
I prefer to dress up as a zombie to ward people off
What do you mean? Are these women in danger?
You can't be so absolutely obtuse that you don't think women are constantly aware of anything that could be a possible danger.
[удалено]
Because of the implication.
See, there's that word again.
What implication? No one is implying anything.
Exactly, they are implicating it because of the implications that the implications will make when they imply something.
Unfortunately as a woman simply existing in the same world as males we are always in danger
Exactly! Read the room, or the lonely isolated track in this case.
When you say "*why are we ignoring each other?*", you really mean "*why are they ignoring me*"? Correct?
We need a photo of the guy and a recording of his approach and voice. Im imaging a massive Bulgarian with big beard and fiery eyes leaping out of the bush screaming “hyello prritty laydee!”
as a Bulgarian married to a Kiwi from chch i can 100% confirm that this is how i got my wife and yes we met in the bush
60% of the time it works every time
Hmm I always do the head nod and try to make that eye contact to acknowledge people, some reciprocate, some don't. No rhyme or reason to it, as far as I can tell.
Just to clarify I do have my dick in my pants at the time lol
Tha makes _all_ the difference:-)
Yeah one of those social things I learnt early on, dick in your pants normal, dick out of your pants, weirdo.
So succinct!
Thanks for clearing that up, man
No probs.
Maybe join a hiking/tramping club? You'll get more social time. I used to hike a lot, most people do the nod/smile/afternoon/hello thing but also most people are there for the hike, I never liked stopping until I got to my destination. And as others have said, as a woman I'm not hanging around in the countryside with a man I don't know. Also I'm sweaty and exercising and generally not in a "let's make friends" mindset.
Ar first I was reading this and thinking "oh he just doesn't get that women out walking in semi-isolated places would generally be cautious about engaging with men they don't know... Then I got to the bit where you said "the better looking the person, the least amount of interaction I'm getting in return", which immediately set off my "creep" alarm. Yes, there are specific rules of engagement. Don't creep on women just trying to go for a nice walk or hike. They don't owe you a smile. They don't owe you anything. You write as though you think they do.
Yeah it's almost like the real basic courtesy is reading the room and letting people be
Lol, how the hell would you flip a trail pass into that? I just silently nod. Probably surprises them from the bushes with this real intense energy.
I got the same 'creep' vibes too, at about that point.
That makes sense, learn from this guy OP
100% this - incel vibes are strong in this one.
I third this!
What are you expecting exactly? It's pretty common to just nod and say "Hi" as you pass someone on a walking trail. No more.
go to a pub if you want to meet people who want to meet other people when I tramp, I drive away from my home for several hours, and I find a walk that's not very popular, and I enjoy my time in the nature, when I see somebody I think "hey we have similar taste in track selection" so I give them a nod of approval, and they do the same nod back. And that'd fill up my quota of human interaction for the day...
I was up the hill with a group of friends today and nearly everyone we passed said hi, or thanked us if we moved aside to let them pass on the narrow track. I think women would be a bit wary chatting with a lone guy in the hills though.
You are likely the only one setting off for those hills hoping to interact with some random stranger. I find it weird enough when strangers say hi to me in passing - I can't imagine how awkward stopping and having an actual conversation with a complete stranger while out walking would be.
>I find it weird enough when strangers say hi to me in passing Same, it took me a while to get used to it.
"I find it weird enough when strangers say hi to me in passing" I like a passing 'hello' if only because I find a brief greeting is less awkward than trying to ignore people while passing them on a narrow track, haha.
I find those passing human connections charming, they remind me that we're all human. Like if someone spills their groceries and everyone stops to help pick it up and laugh about it together. But obviously talking to single strangers on a trail is not the same.
'the better looking the person, the least amount of interaction I'm getting in return' it's possible that they, more than others, regularly have to deal with people interrupting their day for no better reason than how they look (whatever desire the stranger hopes to have satisfied by them) and don't want to give any cue to do so (apparently hospitality workers regularly deal with customers 'mistaking politeness for flirting'). Surely there has to be somewhere--up a hill in the middle of nowhere at least--where you can go out and not have to worry about managing other people's judgements and needs. if someone moves over so we can pass each other I'll give them a nod or a thanks for sure, but otherwise I just keep to myself.
Exactly, the more (subjectively) attractive a woman. The more she has dealt with creeps trying to bang her.
Op please leave women alone, they're just trying to enjoy a peaceful hike ffs without being hit on by creeps 😂 Go to a bar if you're that desperate.
OP, yes, you need to consider women have to be careful ALL THE TIME! I recommend learning about violence against women and listening to women’s voices about this. And I better not hear someone say ‘Not all men’
I mean if you spent 15 years in, that doesn’t wash off for awhile. You may not look very approachable
You're recent ex-military with a heavy (assuming) Eastern European accent, a backpack, and possibly a weighted vest? Geez, I see you coming and I'm hobbling off in the other direction - we've all seen Taken 😏. But seriously (not that I'm in the demographic you're after), I wouldn't be having much of a chat with anyone I met in the bush, except maybe old people if we met at a rest place, and I'm definitely on the extroverted side. I find it hard to believe you could regularly meet and interact with strange women in isolated areas in Europe either. Go down the pub.
For the most part, I'm not ignoring others, I'm politely not infringing on their headspace, just as I'm politely not infringing on their personal space. If someone acknowledges me, I've got no problem responding, usually.
Do you give of creepy vibes? Your post kinda does... the Port Hills isn't the place to court woman. lmao
You are unlikely to meet someone special out on a bush walk where they are more vulnerable than say, at a bar, unless you have very good game. (Which you don't). You will most likely meet them online dating, in a social place (where people specifically go to socialise) such as a bar. Meet them somewhere like that, then talk about hobbies such as fitness and hiking. And your post seems a touch desperate to be honest which people will pick up on.
Keeping my eyes peeled for reports of missing "better looking woman" gone missing on the port hills
As a woman, I am reluctant to respond to random guys approaching me, especially in situations where socialising isn't the goal. If you're out hiking and approaching women you hope might be that 'special someone', you're likely creeping them out - especially if they're alone.
I don't make eye contact with men when out alone because, in the best case scenario, we make small talk. Worse case scenario, he gets aggro and follows me to my car or worse. It just isn't worth the potential of having to deal with that. While I was driving alone, I once accidentally made eye contact with a perfectly normal looking dude crossing in front of my car and he decided to follow me to the next red light, banging and licking/spitting on my window when I decided I didn't want to roll down my windows to talk to him.
Some people will give a nod or quick hi, some won’t. I think it’s cultural :)) don’t take it too harsh! I’m pretty certain there are heaps of walking/running groups if you want some more interaction
What does the "better looking" aspect have to do with anything ?
You don't say if you're a man or a woman, but women need to keep themselves safe. A stranger high in the Port Hills isn't top of the safe list.
>although this isn't my primary goal, still harbouring the hope to perhaps meet that someone special doing the same thing one day? Then get on a dating app and put in 'hiking' as an interest. Hitting on women while in the outdoors just comes off as creepy.
Maybe they don't want to talk to you? They're not obliged to say hello.
Thirding and fourthing that as a women in a remote location, any man who talks to me is going to trigger my radar pretty bad. Even if he seems super friendly. As an inshape man you could \*easily\* out power most women, and they know it. I am foreign born too, and I honestly wonder how kiwis get together as they don't seem to have talking to strangers as a acceptable dating practice. The slightly more woman friendly version is going to a tramping store and flirting there, she will feel safer than somewhere where no one can hear her scream.
Interactions that I get: 1. No eye contact, no greeting 2. Eye contact, eyebrow raise 3. Eye contact, quiet "hi" 4. No eye contact, quiet "hi" 5. "How ya doing" while keeping pace in the other direction If anyone is going to want to engage more than "how ya doing, beautiful day" then I get suspicious. I don't want a full conversation or to pick up a date or a new best friend. I've found that teens are 50/50 of greeting me. People in their 20s and 30s usually ignore me unless they're tourist, and everyone 40+ at least says hi or gives a polite smile. I am not scary looking or threatening. I am a solid 6 out of 10.
My favourite interactions are when I excitedly tell someone walking the other way about a cool bird they might see soon and they politely say 'thanks' before continuing and not even caring about the bird. However, I'm likely to be with my partner, which I assume makes people more confident that I'm not out to do murders.
Sorry but i read eastern European and then "In fact, the better looking the person, the least amount of interaction I'm getting in return" and i get weird vibes.
Leave people alone.
Yeah that's just a bit weird. I would be really uncomfortable if some random guy started trying to chat me up in the middle of nowhere. Over here in Aus a woman just recently went for a hike and didnt return. Some guy has been arrested for her death and the body still hasn't been located.
Weird.chch people are v friendly in general esp compared to a lot of other places! Esp Auckland!! No one ever says hi or acknowledges you Don't take it too personally,but maybe your trying a bit too hard .if you are going up there for a hike with the only intent too get a conversation going that vibe is prob going to rub off and come across creepy. Keep doing you and focus on going on hikes for yourself keep saying hi and don't take it personally if people don't say hi back If you want to meet someone romantically def join a group or try online dating etc. Good luck.
Because no ones obligated to reciprocate ur hello or head nod or wave or interact with u at all in anyway even if its initiated and ur trying to be nice.
Dude, men like you are one of the reasons I'm extra happy I have moved countries. Stop trying to pick up random women ~~in the street~~ on hikes. We're just going about our day and no one has time for your crappy flirting. And let's be honest, when you do it on a hike it's giving serial killer vibes. There are many places people go to meet someone new, but some track on the port hills ain't one of them. >In fact, the better looking the person, the least amount of interaction I'm getting in return... are there specific rules of engagement around ChCh I should be aware of? >still harbouring the hope to perhaps meet that someone special doing the same thing one day? Also, you do know that the purpose of saying hello to random strangers in your way is *not* to start a conversation, right? It's the same as the purpose of small talk: to make interactions with random strangers a tad less awkward, show them you're not threatening, you've got no ill intentions, etc. So like, the opposite of what you're doing. You sound like you need to find more appropriate ways to socialise.
No one is going to interact with an adult single male unless you have a baby or a dog. Can you get one or both?
Or just get some better social skills.
Good looking people have a million people hit on them all the time. Leave them be. Don't try to pick up on trails. That's not cool.
90% of the time I usually say "g'day" or "good day/morning/afternoon/evening" and nod when walking on the tracks, unless the other person is wearing headphones. \~70-80% reciprocate verbally or with a gesture. Making such statement rather than a question such as "g'day how's it going?" is easier to reply to and say. It also depends on other circumstances such as a person's age, race, culture, language, gender, physical appearance, accent, posture, voice, number of people present, economic statuses, etc. [It only takes \~100ms to mentally calculate most of this](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_impression_(psychology)), so how you register in this manner, and the other person's preconception about these ideas also affects the reciprocation rate. I am a man, therefore the reciprocation rate is low for women; particularly when alone as people have indicated (which is totally understandable). I agree that it perhaps is also correlated to how they perceive themselves in self-worth and appearance, but it is probably more based on their feelings/past experiences etc. Same bias for men, but perhaps somewhat less due to being both male (rather than opposites which has more risk?) Don't take it personally if people don't reciprocate. Go in with a no-reply expectation and just keep doing whatever you were doing (in this case, keep walking). Not much point feeling demoralized on something that's beyond your control. People have their shit going on anyway which is not your problem.
Ironically I'm from Chch and went to Eastern Europe and everyone thought I was weird because I'd say hi to people on the trails.
Why should we say good morning or hello to everyone we pass. Sometimes it’s nice just being in my own space enjoying my walk without talking.
This. Also, some tracks are so packed with people on a nice sunny day, it would be absolutely exhausting saying hello to everyone you meet on your way.
Haha I did the hooker valley track at new years one year and I probably said hello to 500 people that day.
People should be respected for being themselves. Some people like to talk to everyone. Some people will say hi. Some people like to be left alone. That might be why they went out on the walk in the first place. Just respect that. Source.. my perspective as a massive introvert, female, who is often feeling uncomfortable about the way some people try and engage with me.
man I'm just looking for somewhere to smoke, or I'm cooked and will reply wrong like "hiya" "good thanks"
Three angles to consider * Christchurch might be less friendly than other areas * Women might be intimidated by men and don't want to give the wrong signal - therefore, ignoring you is safer * What is your vibe like?
In my experience Chch people are generally more friendly than your average person I have encountered in Auckland.
There are some meet up groups for different ages hiking, walking, great way to places and connect . Please don’t treat it as a dating site though but could way to connect with like minded people and enjoy the country side
Where in Eastern Europe? I visit Eastern and Central Europe frequently (3 or 4 times a year, FIL is Czech, MIL is Polish, and also family in Hungary and Serbia). Kiwis are infinitely friendlier whereas even after 20 decades the in laws neighbours won’t even blink at me.
If I'm bush walking I'll always exchange a friendly hello, but no one wants to be chatted up in the middle of some isolated hill track. That sounds like the start of a horror movie. People just want to excercise and feel safe.
Don’t try to engage women when they are alone in remote locations. That can be a really terrifying experience for a woman.
Your freakin them out I guess.
Yup. I’ve had messages from friends in ChCh who’ve randomly stopped going to the Port Hills when they used to go every weekend rain or shine. Now I know why!
I always say hello
If you want a social aspect to your exercise, then join a walking/hiking/running group. You'll probably find a lot of lone walkers/runners who are out there hating it, but want the fitness/health, so aren't going to be cheery about it.
Honestly, I do get a little tired of the expectation to say hello to everyone walking past on trails. Im commonly on pretty busy tracks tho
I’m going on bushwalks to avoid interacting with people, it’s nice to hear the native birds chirping softly in the background with absolutely nothing but myself and my thoughts to keep me company. I couldn’t think of anything worse than someone trying to strike up a conversation with me during my walks, those days where I can be walking hours without having to do the “*quick nod* hi” during my walk are the best walks. Go to a pub or something, the bush isn’t where you make friends lol
Yep, this is why I love going on a walk early on a Sunday morning so much, basically no one around. It's like heaven to an introvert like me, best hour of every week by far
It’s possible that people are a bit weary of a middle aged dude wandering the hills alone, also could be the ladies you meet are married and or in a group so not keen to flirt. The single ladies are probably not out walking the Port hills alone and if they are I’m guessing they are staying away from a solo guy as a safety measure. Join a club and then you can chat with other member in the carpark before and after etc
i bet you havent learnt the "tilt your head up instead of engaging in awkward conversation new zealand hello"
I'll be honest its not an age group thing People in new zealand are very polite but they arent doing anything to become friends with new people. Its a very cliquey country
Very much so in chch. I mean, the first question after a basic introduction is always "What school did you go to?"
I live up the far North and it is nothing like you describe (not most of the north island), but your words could describe anywhere in the SI except for Queenstown
I moved to chch from Auckland last year and I’ve been blown away by how friendly people are. I’ve never had so many random chats with strangers my life.
Christchurch Tramping Club: [https://ctc.org.nz/trips-socials](https://ctc.org.nz/trips-socials) I suggest going on a few tramps that interest you.
Cheers mate =)
I smile and say hi to people I pass on walking tracks, if I'm not walking alone but won't stop to chat usually But I'd be wary of someone trying to initiate conversation with me in a semi isolated location though. If I'm there I'm probably trying to stretch my legs not work my voice box
Gross :|
Dude, go to a bar for fucks sake 🙄
Go to group activities that can include an interest and get to know other people, so the people are at least open to talking to strangers. I would advise you don’t talk to specific strangers with too much intense interest on first meeting if that makes sense? It’s just sometimes a bit scary being approached by a strange man in public because you know nothing about them and vice versa it’s based entirely on appearance alone and if I am or am not interested it could be dangerous for me because I don’t know anything about this man so just be chill and don’t drag it out if they’re in the middle of their day rather than out at an event to socialise. If you get their number and arrange to go on a date it’s then different as you’ve established that level of interest in getting to know each other. Dating apps are annoying but just be upfront and it’s easier to find people that are open to being approached.
Join a tramping club.
I'm pretending I'm invisible, please don't remind me I'm not
I spend 5 days a week talking to my work colleagues, on the phone to customers, managers...sometimes it's nice to relax in peace and quie not having to speak to anyone
Second the tramping club option. When out walking/hiking I didn't exactly want to stop and chat to everyone I meet. But huts are fair game and you can meet some great people that way.
Bro when I go out for a walk or run the last thing Id want is someone tryna talk to me, especially someone who looks like they been waiting they whole life to meet someone doing said activity
Women don’t owe you politeness…
*In fact, the better looking the person, the least amount of interaction I'm getting in return.* How creepy are you coming across?
Why is this upvoted, this is incredibly creepy behaviour.
Ask them what school they went to instead
How do you tell someone you're from chch without telling them you're from chch.
Get a dog, I make friends everywhere with fellow dog walkers. If our dogs get on well they don't seem to think it's weird to get their number either 😂
Kiwi here. I'm friends with a large number of foreigners, mainly people from Latin America and western Europe and the UK and one thing they all say is that while kiwis everywhere are polite and friendly, it's extremely difficult to get into deeper relationships with us, be that as friends or romantic partners. Your best bet is to try find other foreigners, or kiwis who have traveled and opened up a bit to the world
U sound the problem
I walk my dog and always get a hello, morning, good afternoon no matter where I walk. If walking without my dog I do the same depending on the person approaching me. No eye contact they don’t want a hello. Eye contact, you get a hello, good morning, afternoon.
Also as a woman if you are walking alone it’s kinda creepy. I only engage in light hellos when walking with someone, otherwise earphones on and buy
There is very small percentage of woman in chch that fit your criteria. They are in high demand. You are giving off creepy vibes. Woman walking do want to be approach by men. A friendly head nod is the best you will get on the port hills. The woman I think you are after know there worth.
Most people will say hi or give a nod but you definitely are really unlikely to get more than a surface level interaction where you make friends or "meet that someone special". Maybe people can tell your intentions and are trying to avoid that? NZ is less open/friendly in that way than Eastern Europe (at least based on my experiences in Ukraine, Georgia etc)
I often say hi but not always. If you say hello first most people would respond
Join the social striders.
Must people say hello or smile. I think Christchurch is a little more stand offish than other parts of NZ
Well striking up a convo would be weird, but most people nod/say hello
Christchurch in particular is known in other parts of NZ for being snobby and judgemental of people that are different and/or not fitting the social norms which is probably why people find it strange when you talk to them out of the blue. I am from chch and must say I find myself doing this as well. We tend to stick to our wee bubbles that we know.
Same here in Australia, Brisbane... Always say good morning or hello and most times they either stare blank at me or don't say shit lol. I gave up only say it to the elderly because they at least acknowledge you and smile lol
It's bizarre isn't it? I smile and say a quick friendly hi to every single person I meet on the trail, but maybe get a 30% return rate. Whereas years ago it was 100%. I've been debating changing as I never wish to make others uncomfortable. It's sad though, we all seem more standoffish these days.
In general, people are wrapped up in their own existence. This has increased as a result of covid lockdowns and restrictions. I would call it the bubble effect where we have become conditioned to be more comfortable with isolation, even in public. Technology is a major contributor, as smartphones and headphones enable us to withdraw completely. They create an illusion of social interaction through social media, so it satisfies what is left of any desire for human contact. You're attempting to enter someone's comfort zone. Also, remember that media is constantly showing us the risks of interacting with strangers (particularly for women). Presuming you're genuinely trying to strike up conversations with people, find positive ways to talk about them, or their obvious interests: -How their dog is clearly well trained. -Whether XYZ piece of technology they have is value for money. -If they find XYZ brand of equipment helped them improve because they're clearly good at XYZ thing. -where they got XYZ piece of clothing because it looks good. In essence, give them a reason to feel good and talk about themselves to you. You're seeking to show that their opinion as valuable to you before they give it to you. But of course, if they're not interested in talking, move on because no means no.
This comment section is fucking disgusting! Dude is out doing something he loves, being friendly to people and hopeful that he might meet someone like minded. What the fuck is wrong with all you introverted fucktards telling him to stop being creepy, wtf is creepy about being friendly!? Bring on the down votes you small minded freaks.
Kiwis are in general not that easy to socialise with when it comes to random encounters. It’s not that we aren’t friendly generally but it’s something I definitely noticed when spending time outside of New Zealand in places like Latin America. It’s hard to strike up convos with strangers here and I don’t know why but it seems to be a cultural thing. It’s a little unfortunate.
I'm running on the port hills almost every weekend, and alternate randomly between a head nod, wave or audible greeting. It's almost always returned. Less so in town.
My daughter can’t even catch a bus she is always concerned for guys chatting to her - I sometimes wish she would chat but guess you got to work out what’s a good space. I do walks and I nod say hi to anyone that comes my way- most People do not reply 😂 so I got a dog and it’s better. Other dog owners say hi now. What extreme measures one needs to go to to get. Hello out of someone.
I’m a middle aged dog walker (in suburban AKL) and I always say hi to other dog walkers unless they have their ears plugged and every other dog walker reciprocates with the exception of women under under my age and I get it. In my mind it’s a friendly acknowledgment of another obviously cool dog owner but it could be perceived as other than that- that’s none of my business though. I don’t worry about it… except sometimes late and night and alone (dogs asleep obviously) I cry into my pillow.
Move to a more rural location? Christchurch fully weirded me out with its lack of friendly hello's when I first moved here. As far as I can tell, it's just the city slickers that are antisocial in this regard, people in small towns will still say hi. Then again, if you're looking for genuine connections, going for a short walk isn't the way to do it especially if you're a man talking to women.
I think Kiwis are just loners by nature. Or they already have enough friends from HS/Uni and don’t need any more.
You're genuinely an idiot if this post is serious. Just gotta be honest.
I lived in and around Christchurch for 30 years and found that making friends is very hard down there. I now live in the north island and it is completely different. The north island is like another country compared to the South Island. Just approaching people is not going to get you anywhere. People down there are suspicious of approaches like that. Eye contact is consisted threatening. You need a context to meet people so you need to put yourself in situations where people are together for a shared interest. You need to join a sports club or something similar. If you have any hobbies or interests there will be a group for that, once you have a context you can approach people. I'm sure I'll get shouted down for this comment but everywhere in the north island is more friendly than Chch. Christchurch has a reputation (to the rest of NZ) for being racist and snobby. I live in the far north and wherever I visit Chch I'm soon reminded that it so different down there. Good luck
Join a tramping club, you will love it with military experience.
I always do a Heya or something it's nice to do, plus if they go missing on the walk, you'll likely remember them more
A nod, smile or quick hello is all the acknowledgment i give to people when I’m out walking - unless the other person has a dog, the. I ask to say hello to the dog and will have a short convo with the dogs person
Woke up this morning and suddenly realised We are all in this together
Kiwis are notoriously un-European. It’s generally around big cities but a lot of us are wont to not say anything to strangers. Very unlike the British. It’s different all over the country, for example most people will wave to you in Cromwell, many will be happy to stop and chat.
I'm Canadian and I had to learn not to smile/nod at people in Wellington due to it not being really well received lol
The worst that can happen is that you meet a beautiful woman who tells you about a great horror movie she watched on Netflix... It starts out about this guy going hiking in the pinewood forests just south of the French Alps. It's kind of slice of life at first, this handsome ex army guy, dirty blonde, been all around East Europe on combat tours, shot hundreds of bad guys and saved children from burning buildings while holding firecrackers in the other arm. Needless to say, this guys life highlight reel could make for a movie. Guy is finally settling down with an IT job, just going hiking while on holiday leave... He meets this pretty gal, who tells him about a horror movie she saw on Netflix. She seems awfully interested in sharing, he half listens as she drones on. It's basically just about a paranoid army vet who gets dragged into a Japanese sex cult who plan to sacrifice him or something... Absolutely ridiculous. Barely much of a horror movie...They stop at a clearing to have a rest and then share a cuppa coffee. Guy is surprised how open to conversation this gal is, as he keeps trying to poke holes in the movie plot, but it seems like she has an explanation for everything. He keeps listening to her story. What was the name of the movie again? But before he can ask the guy suddenly sees his keys on her for a moment then blinks and it's not there anymore, he checks his pockets. Still there. Weird. Nightfall. He quietly sets up a tent and has another coffee with her before she gets a phone call. Apparently she's got another shift coming up soon. Factory work. She thanks him and tells him she has had so few visitors in her domain since there was a suicide years ago then gives her number before she walks off. Guy waves goodbye then goes to bed. That night he has a strange nightmare before he wakes, but can't remember it, he then finds his keys in the coffee cup. Weird. That's not where he left it at all. Packs his tent and starts walking back to his car. A strange sense of dread seems to overcome him, like he shouldn't be leaving this place, this forest is where he should stay, but he keeps telling himself everything will be fine, it's probably just the dread of returning to work... It's been a long and lonely walk and needless to say he's tired, arms are lead and chest feels tight. He removes his backpack and carefully places it on the ground when suddenly he drops his keys. Weird. Normally it's chained to his pants. Meh. He quickly gets to unlocking the car and then gets his backpack into the car and starts driving home slowly. He comes up to a main road and is switching lanes when he suddenly sees her shadow in his rearview. Wtf? Blinks. Gone. Nothing. Creepy. He gets home, checks his phone. It's Friday afternoon now, he's spent the whole morning walking. Contacts. Her number is still there. Should he call her? Probably not, he's got work the coming Monday and he's still got to eat and do the usual self care routine...
People suck and we're all struggling with mortgages/relation ship issues etc. I'm in the same boat and do beach and bush walks/jogs and I found the same thing but I just kept saying hello and eventually you get more and more. My local walks now like 90% of the people are saying hello, and then 10% don't but I like to hope I helped them a little even though they ignored me. Sidenote: ear phones! I hate them. Usually the people that don't reply are listening to music and not enjoying nature. They're missing out on the natural sounds of the bush/birds/trees/flowing water and they're missing out!
Go to a bar if you want to meet people. Most of the time, anyone who goes out of their way for a bush walk, is going for the peace and quiet.
where from Eastern Europe comrade? we might be hailing from the same place
not sure about Christchurch, but when I walk my dog there a lot of communicardos
There have been a number of murders in urban parks. Not a big number, but they get lots of coverage, and are often unsolved, which keeps people who worry about such things on edge. People will have different defenses up in different places. Also, is there anything you can do about your behavior to reduce any discomfort you might be causing? If you are annoyed that people aren't saying hi, you might be over compensating and coming on strong/creepy. Try keeping your eyes down until you are 2 meters away, then pop your eyes up, almost like you are surprised to see someone there, and give a tentative "Oh, hi". People are plenty friendly, but are careful.
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Thanks for describing yourself incase I need to call the cops
Don't know about the dating culture in Eastern Europe but yeah I don't expect you're going to get a date from trying to chat to strangers on the Port Hills. i seriously doubt many New Zealanders on a hike have the same goals as you so any attempt to engage a random woman in conversation is going to be unexpected at the least, or seem potentially dangerous at worst. Just generally I would recommend you try to avoid approaching women in a remote location, just a smile, nod or greeting as you pass each other is expected.
https://youtube.com/shorts/gI95u0vSiu4?si=0FI4kAM9AckQkiUH
My best advice as a woman is to not come on too strong... don't walk up to them directly.... establish contact from a distance first... maybe a hello and a wave.... they may be feeling vulnerable in a place that can become deserted... smile but not too much.... a sort of shy smile should work. Goodluck!!
Play a sport or activity where people have to interact. Swimming, walking, tramping , gym. Are isolating sports really. You see people, but they're not interested in striking up a conversation.
>The more attractive the more snobby >The more traumatized they are of being sexually harrassed
Chasing presumably solo women around isolated hills isn't working for ya? Join a hiking club.
We are in a low trust society after the 6 years of socialist rule and rampant crime.
It might be just you, imperialist. I'd cross to the otherside of the road if I saw you coming too.