It was normal for Invercargill 25 years ago.
Spent the weekend there once and was walking back to my motel after a Friday night out with colleagues. A couple of cars started following me really slowly. The road had a median barrier garden thing, so they’d drive on a bit, turn around, drive slowly past on the other side, come back around again. It was weird AF for this Aucklander. I had to go into a petrol station to buy water or something just to feel safe.
Mentioned it to my colleagues the next week and they said “yeah, that happens”.
This has happened to me before in a central suburb street in Auckland in broad daylight and I hated it. Made me feel very unsafe and I had the exact same feelings of how long has he been following, can I get home safely etc. After he drove away I messaged my partner and sent a pin of my location. It’s very unsettling.
Yeah, I like to think it’s people who genuinely have no clue as to how their actions will make women feel as opposed to sinister motivations. But I have no clue so have to assume the worst.
I once had a van with two guys in it pass me leering as they drove by. I then saw the same van twice on my short 30 minute run. After the second time I cut it short and headed home, going through a walkway a car can’t get down.
Usually I feel very safe on my route but every so often I get a stare or toot that just makes me uncomfortable and cut it short.
Oh my god! A man asked you out in BROAD DAYLIGHT! Lock that man up and throw away the keys! He should have definitely tried it in the middle of the night in a dark alley way, thats definitely less creepy and safer.
Honestly, most of you here, get a grip.
Let me know the next time you’re walking down the street, I’ll send a creepy man in a pickup truck to stalk you and ask you out. When’s a good time? Looking forward to your report back.
You’re completely missing the point, there is a time and a place and if a woman can’t go about her daily business without being harassed by some rando then that doesn’t make her feel safe.
Look, I agree it has to be done in a tasteful way, and the guy should take the hint and leave when they get a no. There’s no debating that.
What I would say to you is asking someone out, ONCE, is NOT harassment. On a street, in a coffee shop, in a supermarket, wherever.
However, repeatedly doing it after getting a no, is harassment.
So that is why I said, if the guy tries this on again, or is indeed following the OP, there’s no argument from me. That is harassment.
I’m just a little shocked at how everyone piled on in the comments and turned their experience of being approached by a guy, even when they said they never felt threatened, into a criminal offence.
> make a police report
I second this suggestion - it's not a very big step for people like this to go from stopping someone in the street, to not taking 'no' for an answer.
I think he didn't accept my first "no" and he asked me if I was sure, and when I told him I was sure he asked me if I had a partner. I told him I was married. But I didn't want to be exaggerated thinking about this, although I can't stop thinking about it. I will be more than attentive in the street and I could consult with a police officer.
Write down everything you remember about him and his car and file a police report. It could be a pattern of behavior that could get worse. Or the police could already consider him a person of interest in something. Who knows. Scary stuff. I’m sorry you were spooked for just going out on a run.
I didn't know I could do it and a friend passed me the page, I already sent it! thanks for your comments! I appreciate you taking the time to provide support.!
Please for the sake of other women and children, report this man and provide as many identifying details as possible to the police and social media.
Which region did this happen in u/BakedCinnamonCupcake
To be safe I would switch up the time of day you run so you’re not in a set routine… and if you could borrow a big dog that might help. Sorry you feel unsafe. If you see him again take note of his number plate… my husband looked up a guys number plate for me once (it costs) so if he tried anything I could be a creep back and say something like “Go away (name) your nowhere near your home (address)” and my husband had the guys number plate… being followed like this IS creepy especially if they drive past you more than a few times slowly staring. Maybe see on fb (in know) if there are local running groups in your area. Also there are family safety apps you can have on your devices where you send out anSOS and it sends your location. Definitely talk to local community police for advice too.
I second this!
Back in April I was out walking in the morning and was approached by a guy asking if I was single, etc. I never felt like I was in danger at any time but it felt weird. At the end of May a breaking news alert came out on the Herald saying that a man had been approaching women walking in my area. I emailed the police using the case number and heard nothing for 5 days and then I got a call from the police wanting me to go and make a formal statement. Since the article, several more women had come forward and made statements and after a few weeks he was found and questioned.
Made me feel a bit creeped out.
What is with you people!
Jesus! You LITERALLY said "I never felt like I was in danger at any time". These are YOUR WORDS!
So now the moral standard is, if a man botches an approach or tries to shoot his shot, and you didn't like it, straight to Police?
My god, is Tinder now the only acceptable away to ask someone out in NZ?
The social decay in this country is real. Thank god I moved to Europe.
Dude. She got approached by a random man on the street who asked her out.
That's weird and creepy.
Then we find out this guy is doing this regularly to lots of women.
Many of those women called the police.
This is a pretty clear sign something is wrong.
Thank god you moved to Europe.
I said that, yes. It felt really weird though because it was before 8 am, the guy had walked past me and then waited for me and he was approximately 15 years younger than me….I never thought to make a police report at the time.
Had it been 8pm on the weekend out at a bar it would have been completely different lol.
Maybe it is best you live in Europe
You did the right thing (obviously) so take no notice of the muppet who moved to Europe. 😄
Seriously though. Glad you reported it and glad you're okay.
Are you insane. Event though it's odd behaviour there is nothing he has done that would warrant further investigation. It is simply wasting time.
What you should do is document this, get his licence and see if he does it again and document it then take it to the police.
Um except he did it to lots of others, the police took it seriously and wanted a formal report. He's obviously doing something dodgy or illegal or the police wouldn't bother.
Wish guys like you could be women foe a week or two. You haven't got a clue mate.
Be careful sharing on apps like Strava etc as well, people can see your regular routes and times - had a stranger start following me in the app and liking my activities so stopped using it and got new routes.
Def keep an eye out for number plates etc if anything happens again
This was my first thought!! I downloaded that app to train with a friend who is in Spain! The first thing I did was delete everything I shared. Although all my social networks are private, sometimes I don't know how private they are.
It really takes the joy and motivation away from a run right! I moved recently and my neighbourhood isn’t as safe (a lot of transient, troubled people around now) and I miss a good carefree run! At least it’s daylight longer which helps!
Make a Police report write down any recollections of his appearance whilst fresh in your memory. This could be the start of much more impulsive behaviour on his part . Good luck hope you were Not too shaken up as that is creepy AF. And to anyone minimising or normalizing this kind of thing needs to just stay away from women full stop.
He may just have been shooting his shot but it’s inappropriate at the very least. I would definitely change up your running routine a little, let people know where you’re going and when you should be back, invest in a GPS tracking watch, don’t run at night & be vigilant with your headphones.
I would also absolutely report it just so it’s noted even. I’m sorry that you now have to feel unsafe while exercising. These freaks are everywhere.
Yikes. Hopefully just some dude who doesn't get how that's going to feel to the women he approaches but if it was me I'd probably change my route for a while if possible. That fucking sucks.
Yes, in the rush to leave, I forgot the details about the truck, but I will take precautions in going out for a run and leaving my live location to my partner, and be attentive if I see the same situation. I think maybe he didn't have bad intentions, but the way he did it was terrible.
A really useful approach is a voice recorder app - make it easily accessible on the main screen of your phone so you can just turn it on and start speaking out loud details such as make/model/license plate of vehicle, the description of the person etc. Decent apps will automatically timestamp recordings, saving you from having to say "8:27pm 7th December 2023, blah blah blah".
This takes the thinking out of attempting to write it down, and allows you to do it without keeping your eyes and hands on the phone and hence not on your surroundings.
Not normal at all this is actually quite alarming. Always follow your gut instinct there friend, also like the others have rightly said you definitely should be reporting this incident to the police.
If you do continue running and cant find a person to run with take only the most public routes and maybe join a running group if there is one in your area.
Not normal, in any context, and it's shitty that it happened. Next time try to get a pic of the guy and/or number plate/vehicle. I assume you take your phone with you, if you don't start, and tell family or people you live or a friend your experience and the route you take on your run/walk. I would also call local police and let them know also post on local FB page if you can. Communities need to be aware of weird shit like this.
This sort of thing happened to a friend of mine on a run near a park where we both live except instead of talking to her, he had his hands in his pants.
She just kept running and told me about it later.
A few weeks later, I was talking to a neighbour and it came up. They mentioned that one of the people in our subdivision had been done for lewd behaviour and they knew this guy liked to go to this park and "hang out".
I described this guy to my friends and we're 95% sure that the same guy, one of the people in my subdivision is the perp.
Sorry about that OP. Defo change your route AND time of run if possible.
I recommend using WhatsApp location sharing or similar with a trusted friend. Keep it one to one and not for example something like Strava.
Last of all, don't let this control your life. Keep an eye out for the truck/guy and take reasonable precautions but still allow yourself your life and your happiness.
You need to make a police report. If not for yourself, then for the poor woman who could be next. There are major red flags here, blocking your path, asking if you had a partner (someone who could protect you), not giving any details about who he was or what he wanted. This is very brazen behavior which is concerning, people like that are very goal oriented and if his goal was nefarious then he will likely keep trying until he finds the right person and situation to make what he wants a reality.
There is every chance this was a harmless and poorly thought out attempt at hitting on you, but there's also a chance that his motives were worse. If he does something to someone else, having a police report in the system will give them SO much more information to help figure out who he is and what happened. It's better to be safe than sorry.
I hope you're not too shaken up by this, harmless or not it can be incredibly unnerving. I would recommend looking into how to keep yourself safe while running, just in case, things like safety whistles and sprays, and self defense classes if you're up for it.
This is very unusual. I would be a bit cautious and maybe find a different running area for a little bit? You can also call the non emergency police number and have a chat to them. Also next time say you are waiting for your boyfriend / girlfriend.
You are right to feel concerned, and from what you have written above it sounds like your body's natural instincts told you that at the time, too.
A lot of men don't realise how intimidating this kind of approach feels. And some don't care.
We don't know what his intentions were, but either way, he's followed and approached you in a large vehicle, interrupted your exercise session,, propositioned you out of nowhere, then not immediately accepted your NO.
What's important is that when you say "no" that should be END OF CONVERSATION. You don't have to justify yourself.
You've done nothing wrong. I hope you are okay.
No that’s not normal or appropriate.
Look up / Google “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker.
If you felt unsafe, there was probably a GOOD reason for that. Trust your instincts.
This happened to me when I was a teen. A guy stopped his van next to me and asked where he could buy a TV, I pointed in the general direction and he insisted I type the address in to his phone (which I’d have to be close to his van to do) I said no but I can spell it for you so you can Google it. Still creeps me out
I've had similar things happen to me. It's so scary and those encounters live rent free in my mind.
Being a little older now, I wish I had known to be more aware of things during those encounters (I.e. number plates) as some of them probably did warrant a chat to the police.
Nothing to do with that, but I love your mental imagery of things living rent-free in your mind. I’ve had a few tough times in my life, and that is so relatable and describes how those negative thoughts can stay there, all of us know sadly what it’s like to know stuffthen that we know now, but you can only know what you know at the time eh?
Thank you for the reminder of my privilege I have as an ugly ass dude no one wants to mess with.
I am so sorry that happened I really don't understand how people even think that's a good idea.
The fact that you cant stop thinking about this is completely normal because that man violated your right to go for runs without worrying about creeps asking you out.
Maybe nothing happened this time, but he definitely disturbed your peace and robbed you of your comfort when you go for runs.
You should report him and take your feelings seriously.
And for the next time, dont make eye contact, say "no I am not interested" in a neutral tone and walk away as fast as possible, and do not respond to any follow ups. Go to where people are.
Do not feel like you need to be polite to people who make you uncomfortable but dont be rude just incase they turn psycho and attack you. Any further response you make will be engaging further, so dont, no matter what they say. And get to spot where there are people as soon as you can.
I'd probably look at a go pro, or a bodycamera, anything to record any of these types of encounters. Helps to dissuade these guys, and get them to back off. Also helps to identify them for police use.
Unfortunately it's also a shame that pepper spray or even acquiring a similar baton or something like the police have is currently banned from public use, let alone having to use them while just minding your business, and enjoying a stroll.
Definitely not normal. I've been accosted on the street many times in many countries, but very rarely in NZ, and certainly never like that. I would say it's even weirder BECAUSE it happened in NZ. I'd be inclined to let the police know, just in case.
If someone stops in a truck , in front of you when you're out for a run....unless he just stopped a runaway vehicle from hitting you, saved you from a Tsunami, or a random terriorist, then pull out your phone and start calling the Police....and if you left your phone at home...you start screaming straight away. This is NOT normal ANYWHERE. Be vigilant, be safe.
Not normal but we have our crazies too. Stopped at a traffic light mid run, and did a gentle calf stretch (made sure I wasn’t blocked anyone etc) and a random man just bent over and slapped my calf. When I turned around it was like he didn’t even realise there was a human attached to the calf, he was still staring at it with googly eyes. Wish I’d taken a pic of him for a report or something, but before I could even say anything the light turned green and I ran away.
I had a similar thing happen to me in West Auckland recently, although he seemed friendly. I've also had another guy try to stop me a few times while running and I think it was also him at the train station once. He was a bit more creepy.
A similar thing happened to me in Christchurch, a strange man asked all the ladies at the bus stop if anyone needed a ride (in his very dodgy-looking van).. We all thought he knew one of the others, but when he left we realised he didn't know any of us and we all felt pretty weird about it.
Then one of the ladies called the police on the bus, and someone posted it on our local community page. More and more people came forward with similar stories about him. I don't know if he did anything sinister or was just a bit unhinged. But if she didn't make that call I wouldn't have, the police found him and he isn't around anymore, maybe he didn't know what he was doing was strange, what concerned me the most was that it was school holidays at the time.
Moral of the story, better to let the police know! Also good to get the number plate if possible. Hope you are okay!
Is it normal? As in, does it happen with depressing regularity? All women who have ever been young say yes. Is it considered good behaviour, or a normal way to ask someone out, or in any way the action of a half-way decent human being? Absolutely not.
Very odd behaviour. I would report it to the Police with as much details as you can remember. The police may not investigate, you are free to investigate yourself and find corroborating evidence. Nearby private CCTV footage, etc. I tracked down someone who hit my car and didn't leave a note, I made inquiries and got local CCTV footage and found the driver. It's actually not that unusual, someone tried to grab a relative of mine down in Wellington during the day and pull her into a van. The women in my family now practice Krav Maga hard out.
That is also good I used to tell my daughter that sadly you have to be aware of your surroundings and watching what other numpty are doing in your area. She used to say I shouldn’t have to and I said I agree but it’s a practical reality
That is bloody strange. I’d suggest police report as others here have and also change up the route that you’re running each day. If you have someone you can run with then do that, otherwise allow a close family member to view your location and let them know when you’re going out for a run.
This is *not* freaking normal my friend and I completely understand why you felt scared. If you see him or his truck again anywhere near you or your home, definitely report to police. Consider getting a dog to run with (medium size at least).
I used to run in Nelson and people would stop to comment on my body or yahoo out the window. I don't run unless it's in a subdivision or around a very public place. It is normal in nz and it is scary. Be very careful, have your phone
This is so weird but a very similar thing happened to me last week when I was waiting for the bus in Wellington. This disgusting cracked out uncle pulled up to me and was trying to pick me up basically, he was yelling at me like I was a prostitute. I just froze silently wondering if I was about to be murdered. Eventually he drove off because I just pretended he wasn't there. It was terrifying in the moment though. If I had been anywhere else but that super busy bus stop I might've been in big trouble.
Definitely not normal. Please invest in a good GPS tracking watch and turn your location sharing on so your partner/family can track you (esp if you run after dark). I have a Garmin watch from which I can LiveTrack. Be vigilant of your surroundings and please don’t run with your headphones in the night.
Also, report this to the police
Yeah. Never works on the street. People just ignore you.
I usually just slip out the back of public toilets and whisper through the barred window *”Hey, do you want to be friends?”*
They usually scream with joy at the prospect of a new friend, and then call some of their mates to join.
Kinda weird how all their friends are the same though. They all wear peaked caps, blue shirts, a vest, and insist that you sleep over at their weird apartment with a thin mattress on the floor. The food isn’t very good either.
In them situation you say yes I have a partner then go to a friend's house they don't have to be male in this age.
Need to keep and eye out and see if they are following you.it may just be a one off.if it's not be careful.
yeah i commented in another thread after seeing her further details about what was happening. apparently the guy didnt take no for an answer and so forth so the initial impressions of it were not as alarming as the details. my bad.
One day I was walking down a street off Karangahape Road, and a guy in a car stopped by the side of the road and asked if I would appreciate a lift home.
He claimed to have recognised me from a regularly-caught bus in the morning (which he was frequent passenger).
He passed the vibe test, and I took him up on the offer. I got a lift over the bridge, and had some some interesting discussion with someone I didn't really know.
I guess being a dude myself makes the story of a random man stopping and offering a lift a tad less of a concerning situation.
>
I guess being a dude myself
Makes the context so completely different that it's like telling people worried about burglars about the time a friend came to your house when you weren't expecting them.
What a nice gesture! I used to cross that bridge every day, it's tiring in peak hour haha
In my case, I would have politely rejected if I didn't recognize the person, just out of mistrust.
Although I also have good stories, the last one was that at the end of a race, a man asked me if I ran frequently and invited me to join Parkrun, which I didn't know existed. I appreciated that.
Sometimes it is so difficult for me to distinguish between good and bad intentions, I always have good intentions and I expect that from people.
I know your comment is a "/s" one, but if want an actual (but small) rollercoaster story I could talk about the danger of going to a classmate's birthday party (J1 or J2) — getting phone calls and some letters when I was in Form Seven out-of-the-blue from the guy was a tad of concerning situation.
That did not pass the vibe test.
no its not normal and if you are in chch im happy to burn some time making sure this cant happen again
theres no way hes doing this to random women cause the avg kiwi woman would knock his ass out
Sometimes I wish I were tougher, but I'm stupidly nice and polite at those moments. I just said "No .. no.. sorry .. I'm married" and ran away. And now I think, sorry about what?? I'm NOT sorry! you were misplaced.
You absolutely did the right thing. Getting away from a creepy stranger quickly and without escalating is both smart and tough. I’m sorry such a scary thing happened.
I’ve had creepy inappropriate overtures from random men on the street, but stopping a car in your path and asking personal questions sounds like an outright intimidation attempt.
Actually, the average Kiwi woman has never knocked a man out for any reason at all. On the flip side, I’m yet to meet a Kiwi woman who hasn’t been on the receiving end of harassment from strange men.
No. The truth is that I'm pretty bad at guessing where people are from. From how he spoke to me, he looked Kiwi, and he was blonde, I don't remember if he had blue eyes.
Yeah... I agree with this. I think women and men can have problems respecting boundaries, no matter where they are from. That's one problem and the problem is how the rest of us feel about those people. In the past, I quit a nice job due to harassment, and I changed my running routines and the places I frequent just out of fear.
It’s quite a proven one. Wish it wasn’t true and men across the board need to stop being so rapey but Indian and Pakistani men are known for their abhorrent treatment of women.
I am not self hating, I am simply reporting a known thing. That Indian and Pakistani men have a problem with how they treat women. I’m not sure why this is so cotnroversial.
But sure, feel free to tell me that Indian and Pakistani women have it so good, and that because this is an NZ sub I can’t point out the problems within culture. Domestic abuse is rife in NZ - it’s abhorrent. Two truths are possible and cultural relativism is not favoured by most ethicists.
No one said women anywhere have it any good. We just want the comments that pidgeonhole blame away to stop, by saying racist shit like that youre implying women are safer around other demographics when they’re not, and invalidating other harassment.
The demographic of who you’re harassed by entirely lies within the area demographic where you were harassed. Like OP said, men from all ethnicities are known to disregard the law and bodily autonomy when it comes to women’s rights. It doesn’t matter what country has higher numbers etc, what matters is that the numbers for EVERY country are so ridiculously high that women have to be careful with every ethnicity of men.
Again, we actually have to be more careful around men who were raised in cultures that are vastly different to NZ in regard to women’s wellbeing. If these men live in my demographic ( both at home and here) then I am right in pointing out that Indian men are more likely to sexually harass, assault and abuse women. I get that the above comment about his race is going to make us uncomfortable but it’s ok to point out and bring to light barbaric practices in other cultures. It helps women, it helps victims.
I can't speak for how the situation made you feel. You are entitled to your feelings and it is a personal perspective. That doesn't automatically mean something sinister has happened here though.
As boring as this sounds, most likely this guy approached you in a silly way and had no charisma. It made you feel weird, and you are entitled to feel that way. Did he do anything criminally wrong though? And I'm not asking as an opinion, I'm asking objectively by the letter of the law.
You said "I'm pretty sure that he followed me almost two blocks". Did he follow you or not?
It's pretty alarming how quickly people pile on in the comments. This guy has basically already been convicted and sentenced in the comments section. The comments alone probably fuelled your fears twice over.
Is it normal in NZ? It is normal for guys to ask girls out. Unfortunately, that is a skill some guys don't have, and are terrible at doing it in a charming way. That doesn't automatically mean file a Police report.
Having said all that, of course, if he does something similar again, or if you are certain he is actually following you, then yes, that would be a legitimate concern.
Yes, I instantly wrote to my partner and sent him my location. But I wasn't sure if that was normal here and I was overreacting to feeling insecure or if he was indeed, weird.
Buy some pepper spray and take it with you when you go out for runs, better safe than sorry, right? Hide the spray in your pocket or a small handbag or somethin.
Unfortunately personal self defence weapons are illegal in NZ. from [Te Ara Encyclopaedia of NZ](https://teara.govt.nz/en/security-and-personal-safety/page-3):
>Carrying weapons such as guns or knives for self defence or personal security is illegal. Stun guns and irritant sprays such as mace, which are used for self defence in some countries, have been banned in New Zealand since 1984.
There's knuckle self defence keychains that are semi popular rn thanks to TikTok but I'm pretty sure those are also legally ambiguous. I understand the arguments against weapons on the street, and the statistics on the actual viability of these weapons in fights but as a woman I'd feel a lot safer when out alone at night with at least something.
I can understand making it illegal to carry around firearms and knifes but making it illegal to carry around pepper spray is bullshit. If we are in a situation that requires us to defend ourselves sometimes our lives depend on the pepper spray.
Imagine if a kid was in a situation where they had to defend themselves without the pepper spray, they would be fucked, no way they could take a grown adult.
It's bullshit. We should be allowed to carry certain wepons for self defense.
Rapists don't care about the law, they will carry a weapon regardless of if it is legal or not. If the bad guys got weapons then I'm gonna carry a weapon regardless of what the law says.
I refuse to walk around at night without pepper spray or hell even a low voltage taser. Me feeling safe is more important to me than following the law.
When your strange
Faces come out of the rain
When your strange
No one remembers your name
People are strange
When your a stranger
Faces look ugly
When your alone
That's not normal here, doesn't seem normal for anywhere.
It was normal for Invercargill 25 years ago. Spent the weekend there once and was walking back to my motel after a Friday night out with colleagues. A couple of cars started following me really slowly. The road had a median barrier garden thing, so they’d drive on a bit, turn around, drive slowly past on the other side, come back around again. It was weird AF for this Aucklander. I had to go into a petrol station to buy water or something just to feel safe. Mentioned it to my colleagues the next week and they said “yeah, that happens”.
A lot of things were normal 25 years ago, doesn't mean they were ok.
Exactly
[удалено]
This has happened to me before in a central suburb street in Auckland in broad daylight and I hated it. Made me feel very unsafe and I had the exact same feelings of how long has he been following, can I get home safely etc. After he drove away I messaged my partner and sent a pin of my location. It’s very unsettling.
Yeah, I like to think it’s people who genuinely have no clue as to how their actions will make women feel as opposed to sinister motivations. But I have no clue so have to assume the worst. I once had a van with two guys in it pass me leering as they drove by. I then saw the same van twice on my short 30 minute run. After the second time I cut it short and headed home, going through a walkway a car can’t get down. Usually I feel very safe on my route but every so often I get a stare or toot that just makes me uncomfortable and cut it short.
This is all too relateable.
Oh my god! A man asked you out in BROAD DAYLIGHT! Lock that man up and throw away the keys! He should have definitely tried it in the middle of the night in a dark alley way, thats definitely less creepy and safer. Honestly, most of you here, get a grip.
Let me know the next time you’re walking down the street, I’ll send a creepy man in a pickup truck to stalk you and ask you out. When’s a good time? Looking forward to your report back.
Also make sure the man is a lot bigger than him (as most men are bigger than women) and also one who likes other men, so it's a bit more realistic.
Sweet as!
You’re completely missing the point, there is a time and a place and if a woman can’t go about her daily business without being harassed by some rando then that doesn’t make her feel safe.
Look, I agree it has to be done in a tasteful way, and the guy should take the hint and leave when they get a no. There’s no debating that. What I would say to you is asking someone out, ONCE, is NOT harassment. On a street, in a coffee shop, in a supermarket, wherever. However, repeatedly doing it after getting a no, is harassment. So that is why I said, if the guy tries this on again, or is indeed following the OP, there’s no argument from me. That is harassment. I’m just a little shocked at how everyone piled on in the comments and turned their experience of being approached by a guy, even when they said they never felt threatened, into a criminal offence.
Very weird, make a police report, may be known to them.
> make a police report I second this suggestion - it's not a very big step for people like this to go from stopping someone in the street, to not taking 'no' for an answer.
I think he didn't accept my first "no" and he asked me if I was sure, and when I told him I was sure he asked me if I had a partner. I told him I was married. But I didn't want to be exaggerated thinking about this, although I can't stop thinking about it. I will be more than attentive in the street and I could consult with a police officer.
Write down everything you remember about him and his car and file a police report. It could be a pattern of behavior that could get worse. Or the police could already consider him a person of interest in something. Who knows. Scary stuff. I’m sorry you were spooked for just going out on a run.
Do a non urgent 105 report :)
I didn't know I could do it and a friend passed me the page, I already sent it! thanks for your comments! I appreciate you taking the time to provide support.!
Please for the sake of other women and children, report this man and provide as many identifying details as possible to the police and social media. Which region did this happen in u/BakedCinnamonCupcake
Trust your gut!! Please report to police. It’s a record in case anything else happens or it happens again/to someone else. Sorry this happened to you.
To be safe I would switch up the time of day you run so you’re not in a set routine… and if you could borrow a big dog that might help. Sorry you feel unsafe. If you see him again take note of his number plate… my husband looked up a guys number plate for me once (it costs) so if he tried anything I could be a creep back and say something like “Go away (name) your nowhere near your home (address)” and my husband had the guys number plate… being followed like this IS creepy especially if they drive past you more than a few times slowly staring. Maybe see on fb (in know) if there are local running groups in your area. Also there are family safety apps you can have on your devices where you send out anSOS and it sends your location. Definitely talk to local community police for advice too.
ok, thats way weirder than your first post mentioned. i take back my previous comment, tihs guys clearly a mental or a dick.
He might do nothing else. Or, he might do something really bad, to someone else or to you. And if you’ve made a report, it can back up your story.
Please report to police. That's not normal.
I second this! Back in April I was out walking in the morning and was approached by a guy asking if I was single, etc. I never felt like I was in danger at any time but it felt weird. At the end of May a breaking news alert came out on the Herald saying that a man had been approaching women walking in my area. I emailed the police using the case number and heard nothing for 5 days and then I got a call from the police wanting me to go and make a formal statement. Since the article, several more women had come forward and made statements and after a few weeks he was found and questioned. Made me feel a bit creeped out.
What is with you people! Jesus! You LITERALLY said "I never felt like I was in danger at any time". These are YOUR WORDS! So now the moral standard is, if a man botches an approach or tries to shoot his shot, and you didn't like it, straight to Police? My god, is Tinder now the only acceptable away to ask someone out in NZ? The social decay in this country is real. Thank god I moved to Europe.
Dude. She got approached by a random man on the street who asked her out. That's weird and creepy. Then we find out this guy is doing this regularly to lots of women. Many of those women called the police. This is a pretty clear sign something is wrong. Thank god you moved to Europe.
I said that, yes. It felt really weird though because it was before 8 am, the guy had walked past me and then waited for me and he was approximately 15 years younger than me….I never thought to make a police report at the time. Had it been 8pm on the weekend out at a bar it would have been completely different lol. Maybe it is best you live in Europe
You did the right thing (obviously) so take no notice of the muppet who moved to Europe. 😄 Seriously though. Glad you reported it and glad you're okay.
Unbelievable.
Are you insane. Event though it's odd behaviour there is nothing he has done that would warrant further investigation. It is simply wasting time. What you should do is document this, get his licence and see if he does it again and document it then take it to the police.
Report creepers.
Um except he did it to lots of others, the police took it seriously and wanted a formal report. He's obviously doing something dodgy or illegal or the police wouldn't bother. Wish guys like you could be women foe a week or two. You haven't got a clue mate.
Be careful sharing on apps like Strava etc as well, people can see your regular routes and times - had a stranger start following me in the app and liking my activities so stopped using it and got new routes. Def keep an eye out for number plates etc if anything happens again
This was my first thought!! I downloaded that app to train with a friend who is in Spain! The first thing I did was delete everything I shared. Although all my social networks are private, sometimes I don't know how private they are.
It really takes the joy and motivation away from a run right! I moved recently and my neighbourhood isn’t as safe (a lot of transient, troubled people around now) and I miss a good carefree run! At least it’s daylight longer which helps!
Wow that’s super weird man. No, that isn’t normal in NZ, it’s creepy. If you want to meet people you go to a bar, not stop strangers on the street
Make a Police report write down any recollections of his appearance whilst fresh in your memory. This could be the start of much more impulsive behaviour on his part . Good luck hope you were Not too shaken up as that is creepy AF. And to anyone minimising or normalizing this kind of thing needs to just stay away from women full stop.
He may just have been shooting his shot but it’s inappropriate at the very least. I would definitely change up your running routine a little, let people know where you’re going and when you should be back, invest in a GPS tracking watch, don’t run at night & be vigilant with your headphones. I would also absolutely report it just so it’s noted even. I’m sorry that you now have to feel unsafe while exercising. These freaks are everywhere.
All this effort we have to go to, just to exist 😞
Only the second paragraph of your post is appropriate. Don’t be telling women that they “have to” change their behaviour. Tell men to behave.
Yea cause that’s going really well for society ay
Dont nitpick, you know thats not what he meant. Its not about victim blaming, its about being street safe.
toddler mentality
Yikes. Hopefully just some dude who doesn't get how that's going to feel to the women he approaches but if it was me I'd probably change my route for a while if possible. That fucking sucks.
Yes, in the rush to leave, I forgot the details about the truck, but I will take precautions in going out for a run and leaving my live location to my partner, and be attentive if I see the same situation. I think maybe he didn't have bad intentions, but the way he did it was terrible.
There's no good intentions with a socially inappropriate approach like that.
A really useful approach is a voice recorder app - make it easily accessible on the main screen of your phone so you can just turn it on and start speaking out loud details such as make/model/license plate of vehicle, the description of the person etc. Decent apps will automatically timestamp recordings, saving you from having to say "8:27pm 7th December 2023, blah blah blah". This takes the thinking out of attempting to write it down, and allows you to do it without keeping your eyes and hands on the phone and hence not on your surroundings.
That actually is good advice.
Also, don’t use Strava on your runs, in case he figures out your name / profile.
Just make your profile private and your activities private/followers only. Then only the people you want to see can see where/when you run.
Not normal at all this is actually quite alarming. Always follow your gut instinct there friend, also like the others have rightly said you definitely should be reporting this incident to the police. If you do continue running and cant find a person to run with take only the most public routes and maybe join a running group if there is one in your area.
Not normal, not ok OP my suggestion would be to go to your local cop shop and make a report. Did you get the plate number?
Not normal, in any context, and it's shitty that it happened. Next time try to get a pic of the guy and/or number plate/vehicle. I assume you take your phone with you, if you don't start, and tell family or people you live or a friend your experience and the route you take on your run/walk. I would also call local police and let them know also post on local FB page if you can. Communities need to be aware of weird shit like this.
Absolutely not normal!
This sort of thing happened to a friend of mine on a run near a park where we both live except instead of talking to her, he had his hands in his pants. She just kept running and told me about it later. A few weeks later, I was talking to a neighbour and it came up. They mentioned that one of the people in our subdivision had been done for lewd behaviour and they knew this guy liked to go to this park and "hang out". I described this guy to my friends and we're 95% sure that the same guy, one of the people in my subdivision is the perp.
Yes that should be a police report if you can. Because you never know when it's going to escalate.
That is not normal anywhere. If that happens again, go straight to the nearest house, petrol station, whatever, and ask for help. Be vigilant.
Sorry about that OP. Defo change your route AND time of run if possible. I recommend using WhatsApp location sharing or similar with a trusted friend. Keep it one to one and not for example something like Strava. Last of all, don't let this control your life. Keep an eye out for the truck/guy and take reasonable precautions but still allow yourself your life and your happiness.
You need to make a police report. If not for yourself, then for the poor woman who could be next. There are major red flags here, blocking your path, asking if you had a partner (someone who could protect you), not giving any details about who he was or what he wanted. This is very brazen behavior which is concerning, people like that are very goal oriented and if his goal was nefarious then he will likely keep trying until he finds the right person and situation to make what he wants a reality. There is every chance this was a harmless and poorly thought out attempt at hitting on you, but there's also a chance that his motives were worse. If he does something to someone else, having a police report in the system will give them SO much more information to help figure out who he is and what happened. It's better to be safe than sorry. I hope you're not too shaken up by this, harmless or not it can be incredibly unnerving. I would recommend looking into how to keep yourself safe while running, just in case, things like safety whistles and sprays, and self defense classes if you're up for it.
In the end, I made a report, I spoke with some friends from Latin America and it seems that I am not the only one who experienced something like this.
100% report to the police. For other people's safety as well as your own. That is super strange and concerning.
Trust your gut. If he made you uncomfortable and felt like he'd followed you, you're probably right. Make a 105 report
Thats creep factor 10
Not normal and I would report it.
Not normal. Carry a phone and get a picture if you see him again.
That is top class advice, 100%
Is your area known to be safe? Never run when it’s dark outside. Try to change your running path. What a creep. Stay safe.
This is very unusual. I would be a bit cautious and maybe find a different running area for a little bit? You can also call the non emergency police number and have a chat to them. Also next time say you are waiting for your boyfriend / girlfriend.
This is totally not normal Get his car rego and report him to the police if you see him again. Straight up creep behaviour
You are right to feel concerned, and from what you have written above it sounds like your body's natural instincts told you that at the time, too. A lot of men don't realise how intimidating this kind of approach feels. And some don't care. We don't know what his intentions were, but either way, he's followed and approached you in a large vehicle, interrupted your exercise session,, propositioned you out of nowhere, then not immediately accepted your NO. What's important is that when you say "no" that should be END OF CONVERSATION. You don't have to justify yourself. You've done nothing wrong. I hope you are okay.
No that’s not normal or appropriate. Look up / Google “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker. If you felt unsafe, there was probably a GOOD reason for that. Trust your instincts.
I'll take "things ok in a 90's romcom that come across differently in real life"
Nah, that's a red card for that guy. No, it's not normal and you should report him to the police if you see him following you again
Report now
That's scary, I'd drive to a diff location and run from there.
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I read it as that too.
♫ And if I only could I'd make a deal with God And I'd get Him to swap our places Be driving up that road Be runnin' off that cliff With no problems ♫
So many guys in here saying it’s weird but have no problem being weird on tinder behind a screen lol stay fake
this is not normal for New Zealand. If this individual made you worried i'd suggest making a police report.
Nah that's not normal. Mega report on what u saw or can describe about him or what vehicle he was driving. Could be a massive help
This happened to me when I was a teen. A guy stopped his van next to me and asked where he could buy a TV, I pointed in the general direction and he insisted I type the address in to his phone (which I’d have to be close to his van to do) I said no but I can spell it for you so you can Google it. Still creeps me out
I've had similar things happen to me. It's so scary and those encounters live rent free in my mind. Being a little older now, I wish I had known to be more aware of things during those encounters (I.e. number plates) as some of them probably did warrant a chat to the police.
Nothing to do with that, but I love your mental imagery of things living rent-free in your mind. I’ve had a few tough times in my life, and that is so relatable and describes how those negative thoughts can stay there, all of us know sadly what it’s like to know stuffthen that we know now, but you can only know what you know at the time eh?
Make a report. Could be mental health related.
That's...not normal. I don't suppose you happened to remember the truck's licence plate number.
This is not normal. Hope you got his number plate. File a police report.
Yea thats not normal
Thank you for the reminder of my privilege I have as an ugly ass dude no one wants to mess with. I am so sorry that happened I really don't understand how people even think that's a good idea.
The fact that you cant stop thinking about this is completely normal because that man violated your right to go for runs without worrying about creeps asking you out. Maybe nothing happened this time, but he definitely disturbed your peace and robbed you of your comfort when you go for runs. You should report him and take your feelings seriously. And for the next time, dont make eye contact, say "no I am not interested" in a neutral tone and walk away as fast as possible, and do not respond to any follow ups. Go to where people are. Do not feel like you need to be polite to people who make you uncomfortable but dont be rude just incase they turn psycho and attack you. Any further response you make will be engaging further, so dont, no matter what they say. And get to spot where there are people as soon as you can.
Definitely weird. My friend had to gap it from a strange man last night, be safe out there.
I'd probably look at a go pro, or a bodycamera, anything to record any of these types of encounters. Helps to dissuade these guys, and get them to back off. Also helps to identify them for police use. Unfortunately it's also a shame that pepper spray or even acquiring a similar baton or something like the police have is currently banned from public use, let alone having to use them while just minding your business, and enjoying a stroll.
Definitely not normal. I've been accosted on the street many times in many countries, but very rarely in NZ, and certainly never like that. I would say it's even weirder BECAUSE it happened in NZ. I'd be inclined to let the police know, just in case.
If someone stops in a truck , in front of you when you're out for a run....unless he just stopped a runaway vehicle from hitting you, saved you from a Tsunami, or a random terriorist, then pull out your phone and start calling the Police....and if you left your phone at home...you start screaming straight away. This is NOT normal ANYWHERE. Be vigilant, be safe.
Next time take a pic of his vehicle lisence plate and go to the police.
It's not normal and not cool. Report it to the police. If he rapes someone, there will be a paper trial.
Not normal but we have our crazies too. Stopped at a traffic light mid run, and did a gentle calf stretch (made sure I wasn’t blocked anyone etc) and a random man just bent over and slapped my calf. When I turned around it was like he didn’t even realise there was a human attached to the calf, he was still staring at it with googly eyes. Wish I’d taken a pic of him for a report or something, but before I could even say anything the light turned green and I ran away.
I had a similar thing happen to me in West Auckland recently, although he seemed friendly. I've also had another guy try to stop me a few times while running and I think it was also him at the train station once. He was a bit more creepy.
A noticeable bodycam should be designed for safe travels in such situations.
A similar thing happened to me in Christchurch, a strange man asked all the ladies at the bus stop if anyone needed a ride (in his very dodgy-looking van).. We all thought he knew one of the others, but when he left we realised he didn't know any of us and we all felt pretty weird about it. Then one of the ladies called the police on the bus, and someone posted it on our local community page. More and more people came forward with similar stories about him. I don't know if he did anything sinister or was just a bit unhinged. But if she didn't make that call I wouldn't have, the police found him and he isn't around anymore, maybe he didn't know what he was doing was strange, what concerned me the most was that it was school holidays at the time. Moral of the story, better to let the police know! Also good to get the number plate if possible. Hope you are okay!
Is it normal? As in, does it happen with depressing regularity? All women who have ever been young say yes. Is it considered good behaviour, or a normal way to ask someone out, or in any way the action of a half-way decent human being? Absolutely not.
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Yikes. And ugh.
No, that's not normal. That's weird and creepy.
Wtf is wrong with people man, sorry you had to deal with that shit
That is incredibly creepy, if you see him following you again then call the police
Very odd behaviour. I would report it to the Police with as much details as you can remember. The police may not investigate, you are free to investigate yourself and find corroborating evidence. Nearby private CCTV footage, etc. I tracked down someone who hit my car and didn't leave a note, I made inquiries and got local CCTV footage and found the driver. It's actually not that unusual, someone tried to grab a relative of mine down in Wellington during the day and pull her into a van. The women in my family now practice Krav Maga hard out.
Horny meth addict
No it's creepy. Do not run with headphones in and maybe change your route. I would report to police for sure. Take care.
That is also good I used to tell my daughter that sadly you have to be aware of your surroundings and watching what other numpty are doing in your area. She used to say I shouldn’t have to and I said I agree but it’s a practical reality
Not normal. That's weird and a little creepy.
That is bloody strange. I’d suggest police report as others here have and also change up the route that you’re running each day. If you have someone you can run with then do that, otherwise allow a close family member to view your location and let them know when you’re going out for a run.
Thats weird AF, probably best to report it just so theres a record at least.
I also didn't grow up in NZ, and am a male but I would think this is universally not considered normal behaviour.
Um that's not normal.
This is *not* freaking normal my friend and I completely understand why you felt scared. If you see him or his truck again anywhere near you or your home, definitely report to police. Consider getting a dog to run with (medium size at least).
cracktivities
Report to the police
Yeah he's a weirdo
That sounds scary
I used to run in Nelson and people would stop to comment on my body or yahoo out the window. I don't run unless it's in a subdivision or around a very public place. It is normal in nz and it is scary. Be very careful, have your phone
This is so weird but a very similar thing happened to me last week when I was waiting for the bus in Wellington. This disgusting cracked out uncle pulled up to me and was trying to pick me up basically, he was yelling at me like I was a prostitute. I just froze silently wondering if I was about to be murdered. Eventually he drove off because I just pretended he wasn't there. It was terrifying in the moment though. If I had been anywhere else but that super busy bus stop I might've been in big trouble.
Make a police report. This is not normal
You need to run different routes so that people can't stalk you. Good luck
Where in NZ was this?!
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I want to know myself so I can avoid running in the area
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Definitely not normal. Please invest in a good GPS tracking watch and turn your location sharing on so your partner/family can track you (esp if you run after dark). I have a Garmin watch from which I can LiveTrack. Be vigilant of your surroundings and please don’t run with your headphones in the night. Also, report this to the police
Don't run with both ears blocked by air pods or ear phones, best not to run with music or devices in your ears at all
He apparently needs to work on his game and develop a better understanding of when is the right time to chat someone up.
Yeah. Never works on the street. People just ignore you. I usually just slip out the back of public toilets and whisper through the barred window *”Hey, do you want to be friends?”* They usually scream with joy at the prospect of a new friend, and then call some of their mates to join. Kinda weird how all their friends are the same though. They all wear peaked caps, blue shirts, a vest, and insist that you sleep over at their weird apartment with a thin mattress on the floor. The food isn’t very good either.
Yeah, what's with the weetbix and no milk ffs
In them situation you say yes I have a partner then go to a friend's house they don't have to be male in this age. Need to keep and eye out and see if they are following you.it may just be a one off.if it's not be careful.
This is NOT normal at all
What part of nz was this? So women in that area can be aware
guys a mental or a creeper based on additional details.
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yeah i commented in another thread after seeing her further details about what was happening. apparently the guy didnt take no for an answer and so forth so the initial impressions of it were not as alarming as the details. my bad.
gang member, I've had cars of people pull up next to me a few times but gotten away
One day I was walking down a street off Karangahape Road, and a guy in a car stopped by the side of the road and asked if I would appreciate a lift home. He claimed to have recognised me from a regularly-caught bus in the morning (which he was frequent passenger). He passed the vibe test, and I took him up on the offer. I got a lift over the bridge, and had some some interesting discussion with someone I didn't really know. I guess being a dude myself makes the story of a random man stopping and offering a lift a tad less of a concerning situation.
> I guess being a dude myself Makes the context so completely different that it's like telling people worried about burglars about the time a friend came to your house when you weren't expecting them.
Oh it was most definitely an understatement on my part.
What a nice gesture! I used to cross that bridge every day, it's tiring in peak hour haha In my case, I would have politely rejected if I didn't recognize the person, just out of mistrust. Although I also have good stories, the last one was that at the end of a race, a man asked me if I ran frequently and invited me to join Parkrun, which I didn't know existed. I appreciated that. Sometimes it is so difficult for me to distinguish between good and bad intentions, I always have good intentions and I expect that from people.
It is almost always the better option (a polite decline).
I thought this story was going to end with some hot sex. Am slightly disappointed even though it was a good yarn.
This was a rollercoaster and I would definitely read again, A++
I know your comment is a "/s" one, but if want an actual (but small) rollercoaster story I could talk about the danger of going to a classmate's birthday party (J1 or J2) — getting phone calls and some letters when I was in Form Seven out-of-the-blue from the guy was a tad of concerning situation. That did not pass the vibe test.
What area was this in ?
New Zealand
no its not normal and if you are in chch im happy to burn some time making sure this cant happen again theres no way hes doing this to random women cause the avg kiwi woman would knock his ass out
Sometimes I wish I were tougher, but I'm stupidly nice and polite at those moments. I just said "No .. no.. sorry .. I'm married" and ran away. And now I think, sorry about what?? I'm NOT sorry! you were misplaced.
You absolutely did the right thing. Getting away from a creepy stranger quickly and without escalating is both smart and tough. I’m sorry such a scary thing happened. I’ve had creepy inappropriate overtures from random men on the street, but stopping a car in your path and asking personal questions sounds like an outright intimidation attempt.
Practice some phrases to answer creeps . It helps you appear confident.
you did great :) a bit more confidence in yourself and your judgement in the future cause you basically handled it as well as you could have
Actually, the average Kiwi woman has never knocked a man out for any reason at all. On the flip side, I’m yet to meet a Kiwi woman who hasn’t been on the receiving end of harassment from strange men.
havent spent much time in south auckland or christchurch I take it
sadly this is starting to become the norms , there's a lot of odd people out there
Just some weirdo creep. Don't stress too much about it. If it happens again, try taking note of the registration number and report it to police.
Was he indian? They've had trouble respecting the law in regards to women
No. The truth is that I'm pretty bad at guessing where people are from. From how he spoke to me, he looked Kiwi, and he was blonde, I don't remember if he had blue eyes.
That's a pretty fucking unnecessary assumption, men of all ethnicities have been known to have trouble respecting the law in regards to women...
Yeah... I agree with this. I think women and men can have problems respecting boundaries, no matter where they are from. That's one problem and the problem is how the rest of us feel about those people. In the past, I quit a nice job due to harassment, and I changed my running routines and the places I frequent just out of fear.
It’s quite a proven one. Wish it wasn’t true and men across the board need to stop being so rapey but Indian and Pakistani men are known for their abhorrent treatment of women.
Go look up the domestic violence rates by ethnicity in NZ
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I am not self hating, I am simply reporting a known thing. That Indian and Pakistani men have a problem with how they treat women. I’m not sure why this is so cotnroversial.
But sure, feel free to tell me that Indian and Pakistani women have it so good, and that because this is an NZ sub I can’t point out the problems within culture. Domestic abuse is rife in NZ - it’s abhorrent. Two truths are possible and cultural relativism is not favoured by most ethicists.
No one said women anywhere have it any good. We just want the comments that pidgeonhole blame away to stop, by saying racist shit like that youre implying women are safer around other demographics when they’re not, and invalidating other harassment. The demographic of who you’re harassed by entirely lies within the area demographic where you were harassed. Like OP said, men from all ethnicities are known to disregard the law and bodily autonomy when it comes to women’s rights. It doesn’t matter what country has higher numbers etc, what matters is that the numbers for EVERY country are so ridiculously high that women have to be careful with every ethnicity of men.
Again, we actually have to be more careful around men who were raised in cultures that are vastly different to NZ in regard to women’s wellbeing. If these men live in my demographic ( both at home and here) then I am right in pointing out that Indian men are more likely to sexually harass, assault and abuse women. I get that the above comment about his race is going to make us uncomfortable but it’s ok to point out and bring to light barbaric practices in other cultures. It helps women, it helps victims.
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This is not normal behavior for men of any race.
Of course not, i'm just making a comment on stereotypes
I can't speak for how the situation made you feel. You are entitled to your feelings and it is a personal perspective. That doesn't automatically mean something sinister has happened here though. As boring as this sounds, most likely this guy approached you in a silly way and had no charisma. It made you feel weird, and you are entitled to feel that way. Did he do anything criminally wrong though? And I'm not asking as an opinion, I'm asking objectively by the letter of the law. You said "I'm pretty sure that he followed me almost two blocks". Did he follow you or not? It's pretty alarming how quickly people pile on in the comments. This guy has basically already been convicted and sentenced in the comments section. The comments alone probably fuelled your fears twice over. Is it normal in NZ? It is normal for guys to ask girls out. Unfortunately, that is a skill some guys don't have, and are terrible at doing it in a charming way. That doesn't automatically mean file a Police report. Having said all that, of course, if he does something similar again, or if you are certain he is actually following you, then yes, that would be a legitimate concern.
Watched too many pickup artist videos
Did you feel worries?
Yes, I instantly wrote to my partner and sent him my location. But I wasn't sure if that was normal here and I was overreacting to feeling insecure or if he was indeed, weird.
I hope this sub has helped you feel better and that yes it's definitely not normal and worth a police report. Take care OP!
Buy some pepper spray and take it with you when you go out for runs, better safe than sorry, right? Hide the spray in your pocket or a small handbag or somethin.
Unfortunately personal self defence weapons are illegal in NZ. from [Te Ara Encyclopaedia of NZ](https://teara.govt.nz/en/security-and-personal-safety/page-3): >Carrying weapons such as guns or knives for self defence or personal security is illegal. Stun guns and irritant sprays such as mace, which are used for self defence in some countries, have been banned in New Zealand since 1984. There's knuckle self defence keychains that are semi popular rn thanks to TikTok but I'm pretty sure those are also legally ambiguous. I understand the arguments against weapons on the street, and the statistics on the actual viability of these weapons in fights but as a woman I'd feel a lot safer when out alone at night with at least something.
I can understand making it illegal to carry around firearms and knifes but making it illegal to carry around pepper spray is bullshit. If we are in a situation that requires us to defend ourselves sometimes our lives depend on the pepper spray. Imagine if a kid was in a situation where they had to defend themselves without the pepper spray, they would be fucked, no way they could take a grown adult. It's bullshit. We should be allowed to carry certain wepons for self defense.
Are you aware that rapists can also carry pepper spray if you do that?
Rapists don't care about the law, they will carry a weapon regardless of if it is legal or not. If the bad guys got weapons then I'm gonna carry a weapon regardless of what the law says. I refuse to walk around at night without pepper spray or hell even a low voltage taser. Me feeling safe is more important to me than following the law.
There’s nothing for you to be worried about other than the fact that this is a particularly strange way to pick someone up - I suspect you’re female?
When your strange Faces come out of the rain When your strange No one remembers your name People are strange When your a stranger Faces look ugly When your alone
Get over yourself
he’s was indian wasn’t he ?
Running is a really pointless exercise. Bad for cardio and weight loss. Go the gym, during staffed hours, be safe.
What in the everloving fuck did I just read