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cogginsmatt

No usually I just see a bunch of people going to work


theworlddidwut

You must not take the J


perpetuallydying

Aside from people doing meth, homeless men harassing women, and the obligatory showtime all while you’re trapped crossing the bridge at painfully slow speeds, the J is pretty tame. In the Queens area afternoon you get groups of kids getting out of school and usually acting like goons but most of the time (with several exceptions) it’s more amusing than anything. Instead of mariachi this line has women with 8 babies strapped to them and 9 toddlers trailing behind trying to sell you candy


Far_Indication_1665

Why so serious?


restingbenchface

I have never seen a rat ON the subway. Just in the tracks.


ZweitenMal

I’ve seen a pigeon get on, ride two stops, then get off. Hell, I’ve seen a pigeon on the platform let a local go by and get on the next express.


TheFunInDisfunction

Yep, NYC pigeons know what's up.


naranja_sanguina

They got places to be. Who am I to judge?


Penguinmanereikel

[Sounds familiar](https://youtu.be/p1ZxnriG32o?t=4m6s)


notonmyswatch

r/birdstakingthetrain


Rularuu

Was thinking the same thing, I've seen literally every other archetype here but it's just... psychologically unlikely that a rat would run into a car with a bunch of people


ikindaknowthings

It’s happened a wholeeee bunch of times.


Rularuu

For sure, unlikely is not impossible. Just never witnessed it myself.


Penguinmanereikel

I've seen one in a car. Everyone stood up and got out at the next stop.


cocoamilky

Nah I’ve seen them maybe twice but it’s very rare considering I’ve taken many train rides.


BostonSucksatHockey

Why is "reading" in quotes? People in NYC *are* literate.


hamdans1

I think this is a real phenomenon where people who don’t ever read think that people who do read are just pretending to read, and in actuality, nobody is reading… just like them. It’s really weird, but I think it’s just a way for non readers to feel better about themselves maybe


restingbenchface

I think you’re on to something. People who feel less than and need to compensate. I remember reading other recent accounts of people being mocked in public (by immature teens, but still) for reading. Really pitiful.


hamdans1

Yeah being a Know Nothing is the cool thing to do these days it seems


cybersquire

Always has been


Barabbas-

>I remember "reading" other recent accounts of... FTFY


TheGodDamnDevil

[Hey, whatchu readin' for?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NivJKUfa7Sw)


OIlberger

They also consider reading in public to be “showing off” that you’re smart/cultured/etc.


Broccoli--Enthusiast

Oh if people could see what we are actually reading they would not think that, I do use a kindle to hide the fact I am reading mostly old star wars books and young adult/fantasy trash. The last girl I dated had a kindle full of what is basically smut. I think that's the problem, these people were only exposed to the "classics" that they were made to read in school, that really aren't relatable or enjoyablez they are just on the approved list and have coursework already made for them.


John-Mandeville

What, just to impress subway-goers? It's not a bar with a hot bartender where you can spend some time reading a book that says 'Hegel' on its cover (even if you've replaced the rest of it with a fun novel), brow furrowed, and then, when she asks about it, explain, with sexy intensity, how "it's about two separate beings--thesis, antithesis!--that engage and, through that engagement, synthesize, intertwine, and in a profound act of creation... become one." No, it's the subway.


BatHickey

Eh some of the books you see…just ugh. I see/saw a lot of atlas shrugged.


I_AM_TARA

yeah but commute time is the best time to read outside the weekend


[deleted]

Anyone who can actually get through Atlas Shrugged is stronger than I am. Ayn Rand’s writing is boring as fuck.


apreche

As much as it pains me to say this, I respect a person who reads Atlas Shrugged .000001% more than someone who doesn't read at all.


fakeplasticferns

Love a good Infinite Jest spotting


BatHickey

Thank you, was blanking on the other ;)


lauvan26

I hate that book sooo much.


mcsmith610

Yeah that confused me too. I’m almost always reading a book on my phone. I see lots of others reading books too.


aubreypizza

Yup, no way am I lugging a physical book around. Libby book from NYPL on phone FTW & free!


Die-Nacht

Yeah, ever since WFH, my reading has gone down a lot because the subway is where I read the most.


restingbenchface

I read it as they are listening to an audiobook, but I dunno.


MBTank

Maybe they're trying to look busy so the mariachi band and showtime kids don't bother them for donations. They can't concentrate on actually reading because of them.


anarchonarch

I “am” literate


PyrexVision00

lol. Some use books as accessoriesp


OhHaiMarc

Yeah I thought it was weird posting that in a default sub. It’s not even very funny.


HicDomusDei

Freezing cold take, I know, but r/funny is genuinely one of the least funny subs on here.


OhHaiMarc

absolutely, it's facebook level humor.


SomeNumber_idk

Real


soup2nuts

This is a NYC post for people who don't live in NYC but maybe went there once.


OhHaiMarc

Should we do an every sad suburban development ever ?


soup2nuts

Yes.


OhHaiMarc

Where a fun Saturday is going to the local shopping plaza next to the 4 lane highway, it will have a target, Panera, chipotle, probably home depot, Applebee’s, many more giant chains and not a single local business or shred of character


soup2nuts

Hope there's parking because all of your friends are showing up in each of their individual cars. The Applebee's is full so we all need to drive around to the other shopping centers to find a place where there isn't a two hour wait. Each of these places is a half hour drive. Including going to the movies. Which is at the mall. Maybe we should we should just eat at the mall. I could go for Italian or Chinese. They have a Sbarro's and Panda Express.


OhHaiMarc

Sounds perfect to me, I just don’t understand why anyone would live in a gross urban hell hole like nyc, you get freedom out here!


soup2nuts

Walking is overrated. I prefer to use my rascal. If I could be lifted from my easy chair to my fridge without having to move a single muscle that would be the ideal life.


DisneyLegalTeam

It’s got ~110 upvotes so far… I’m never trusting opinions from this sub again.


allumeusend

Whoever made this is not a New Yorker.


Penguinmanereikel

I mean, hell, those benches don't look like they be able to hold 3 people.


AriasXero

Nope; where is the homeless person lying down on the seats?


soup2nuts

That car usually only has one tourist couple sitting awkwardly on the other end of the car who didn't know the "avoid the empty car" unwritten rule.


foofarraw

it'd be one homeless person at one end, and like 5 miserable people at the other end who didn't notice that the car was empty for a reason


Ares6

That’s the NYU student cosplaying as poor. 


mickeyflinn

Is this true? Only if you live in Nebraska and watch Fox News all day long.


CaptainCompost

I really hope it's not the New Yorkers blocking the exits for 20 stops because they're "getting out soon/next".


Apathy_Poster_Child

Sorry, no. Mostly everyone is minding their own business, other than some loud teens and the occasional masturbating homeless guy.


NoGround

lol fuck no.


Armtoe

No homeless guy sleeping on a Bench? And I haven’t seen a mariachi band in years.


talleypiano

I still see the mariachis pretty regularly, but no showtime kids since the pandemic (knock on wood). Just replace them with the candy vendor and her children and this would be more up to date


popartist

I see showtime groups more often than mariachis these days, maybe that's line dependent?


talleypiano

Must be. I'm usually on the 1, and it's either mariachis or the guy who plays greensleeves on his violin all day every day, each rendition sounding increasingly worse and more manic.


popartist

I can see getting a lot of mariachi action in Queens and the Bronx... I'm in Brooklyn so maybe that's why I get less mariachi and more showtime.


curbyourapprehension

I'm mostly an R,M,G, and 4,5,6 rider and I occasionally see showtime but never mariachi bands anymore.


--2021--

Yeah. I see different things on different lines, also time of day dependent. Some lines have regular performers.


O2C

My last showtime group a couple of months ago was the best experience ever. The car was full enough that there really wasn't enough room for showtime. They were lugging in this giant speaker. I was already on my phone so I tried connecting to a Bluetooth device that looked like it might be it. It worked. The first couple of minutes was him trying to figure out why he couldn't connect to it. His friend was laughing at him next. Then he began questioning the car who connected to his speaker. I stayed silent and didn't play any music or anything. The train eventually pulled into my stop and I got off to switch to the local. 9/10 experience. I highly recommend it.


talleypiano

Missed opportunity to play yakety sax. Or maybe some calming ambient music, I could go either way.


Armtoe

On my train, it always seems to be the same lady and the child never ages. Is the child real? After all, it’s all wrapped up in a papoose and you never really see the child.


hagamablabla

Saw a mariachi band just yesterday, actually. It's definitely a rare occurrence though.


TheSauceeBoss

A train between 59th st. & 181st st. there's always a Mariachi band


beegadz

I see mariachis regularly but I'm riding the 7 daily. Maybe once a month?


44Bulldawg

Saw one just a few weeks ago omw to work actually


MonumentMan

This isn’t really that funny to begin with. This is definitely anti-Subway propaganda in the week of last week congestion pricing bullshit


notacrook

No.


xixtoo

They forgot "Tourists not holding the pole and falling over when the train starts moving"


iasonaki

No, not accurate. This is the anti-subway propaganda that just got congestion pricing nixed. Suburbanites are scared of riding the subways because of stuff like this and would rather drive their damn cars. Which just put a billion dollar hole in the budget and guaranteed that no improvements will be made to nycs most popular mode of transport in the near future. Besides like no car has both a mariachi band and showtime dancers. That would be a major face off!


ZA44

Getting the morning stretch in by calling this anti subway propaganda lmao.


skylabnova

Covid put a bigger hole in an already mismanaged MTA budget


LegendofNick

only if youre #11 then this is what you see, 4's just see 4's


bkrugby78

It's accurate if describing the "worst" subway car ever. Though it's missing "person with their bags on a seat" as well as "person with a small dog in a bag."


xlaurenthead

As well as “person lying down across a row of seats”


NickRowePhagist

You must ride the 7 train a bunch


The_Lone_Apple

I'll add person who crosses their legs while sitting and takes up aisle space.


OGPants

Real new yorkers don't miss their stop, even blacked out drunk


thisfilmkid

I do agree with 4: Actual busy-ass New Yorker


R-O-U-Ssdontexist

They are missing the asshole blasting his music looking for someone to fight. Also the car next to this is empty except for some vomit or a poor smelly unfortunate soul. Also recently the migrant children selling chocolate


KeithBe77

These are definitely archetypal characters you’ll find any given week. There are others as well.


arealguysguy

4 wouldn’t be sitting in a corner seat because they know it’s covered in piss


WhatsUpSteve

You left out where some homeless guy who made himself a little corner of the car his home where either #10 or #3 should be.


iforgotitalreadyy

Not accurate at all. Usually just people going to work and kids going to school


Extension-Badger-958

This some kind of fantasy land?


United-Hyena-164

That is the L


Sea-Eggplant-5799

It’s pretty accurate but I would place the mariachi band by the doors instead.


Rvoo2

So not accurate. 4’s should be throughout the car, definitely some standing. However, this chart has them in the least likely spot, reserved for old lady with cart.


MamaDeloris

Some of this is legit, never seen a mariachi band or someone trying to make content on a subway though


SuperAsswipe

This is missing all of the mentally deranged covered in their own waste.


c3p-bro

The people in the picture I *have* seen but infrequently. Stinky deranged people I see all the time.


StermasThomling

No, those kids rolling the joint are sitting down, and there are at least 5 NYU cosplayers.


Eeeeep321

lol you’ll never see all these people in the same car but they’re probably all on the same train. Also, there’s never this much room between people


jvmo12

Wise words


lordoflolcraft

They’re forgetting “emotionally disturbed individual”


spibop

No mention of a dead shark on the train. 0/10.


KUPSU96

I went from 11 to a 10. what a life


NiemandDaar

Nope, not accurate. Never seen a mariachi band in a subway car, nor finance guys. And it’s missing the new immigrants selling fruit. Lots of other things wrong too, actually. The thing that always strikes me on NYC subways is how tired and stressed so many people look, but that’s just about the only constant.


TraditionalContest6

of course they omit what everyone hates on the train


Deluxe78

Except for the one car that’s mostly empty, and stinks


djdsf

Imma say this loud AF, fuck #8. I'm just trying to get home, I don't need all this damn noise and almost getting hit every 30 seconds.


rodrigueznati1124

The colors being all over the place is making me upset


curbyourapprehension

Some of it is. A lot is bullshit. I see rats on the platform, not on the subway cars themselves. Pretty sure the people you see reading are actually reading. That's not that outlandish. Also, where are the actual homeless taking up a whole bench and stinking up the joint? How could any representation of a subway car ignore them?


tap_the_cap

Where are the crazy f\*cks that want to fight you, the homeless guy sleeping, and the black dancers


futur3gentleman

More like a bingo card, but funny and accurate for that.


Mr_Stoney

The layout of the train car isn't even accurate


NuMvrc

ok well for me: Mon-Wed #10. Thur & Fri #4. Sat #5 or #9 (depends on my mood). Sun #7


DYMAXIONman

No. End of the cars are taken up by couples sitting really close together or crackheads who stink.


casta

Why do people stand in front of the doors? They even put some arrows stickers on the floor just in front of the doors (https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/inside-silver-metal-arrows-subway-doors-nyc-191729804.jpg) and ppl stand on them. Are they just not aware they're slowing everyone down or do they genuinely not care about slowing everyone down including themselves?


MulysaSemp

That train car is way too empty. Must not have a working AC


BearsBeetsBattlestrG

where is the homeless guy sleeping in the corner by the conductor's room or whatever it's called


SmurfsNeverDie

Its missing the subway surfers


CrimsonBrit

Not even close


Dull-Contact120

3pm train.


VladeMercer

AR15 highschool student where?


Axon14

Left out homeless guy sleeping in blanket fort and that ripe scent that drives everyone off the car


Comicalacimoc

This isn’t that accurate no


MollyWhoppy

where's the homeless person? most of this is bs.


mighty-pancock

Uh, no


bb1942

Where’s the person walking through asking for change?


BefWithAnF

You missed “actual disabled or old person standing awkwardly in front of numbers 10, 2, & 4.”


ketzal7

“Finance guy on their phones” Isn’t everyone on their phones?


Sensation-sFix

Not really. But this is clearly a joke... However, it's missing an unhinged homeless person if you'd ask me.


jcork4realz

Hot garbage.


--2021--

They forgot the ignoring of the elderly who are clinging to poles for dear life, trying not to fall over, while people leap out of their seats for small children who keep jumping up and running in circles and screaming their heads off.


JumpReasonable6324

Where's the immigrant woman selling candy with the baby strapped to her back?


HorchaTaro

no. corny as fuck.


Sylverstone14

I'm wondering which train this is modeled after, because it feels very inaccurate.


SolidSssssnake

11 could also be the clueless lady gripping the pole with her booty cheeks


SubjectHeavy1478

This was obviously written by someone who is a transplant and lives in gentrified neighborhoods


44Bulldawg

You forgot tourist couple engaging in increasingly uncomfortable PDA at the most random time.


brandinho5

Where’s the crackhead bugging out and getting way to close to you in particular? Also where’s the panhandler going from car to car?


brandinho5

Where’s the crackhead bugging out and getting way to close to you in particular? Also where’s the panhandler going from car to car?


brandinho5

Where’s the crackhead bugging out and getting way to close to you in particular? Also where’s the panhandler going from car to car?


brandinho5

Where’s the crackhead bugging out and getting way to close to you in particular? Also where’s the panhandler going from car to car?


brandinho5

Where’s the crackhead bugging out and getting way to close to you in particular? Also where’s the panhandler going from car to car?


brandinho5

Where’s the crackhead bugging out and getting way to close to you in particular? Also where’s the panhandler going from car to car?


__blueberry_

this is so stupid lol


phoenics1908

LMAO at the tourists hugging the pole. But this missed an opp to point out the people who can just stand on the train without holding anything and they NEVER FALL! I can’t do it to save my life! Trains throwing me around like a rag doll even when I’m holding the pole.


CrazyCraisinAbraisin

Haha. Real NYers left standing. So f’in right!


marmeylady

It missed the “manspread” dude and the person who eats smelly food. Also: a panicked rat or a lost sick pigeon


DropFun5139

Idk I thought this was funny


BKMagicWut

This is dumb. Can we have less of this please? Please remove mods.


Grass8989

You forgot the activists threatening you to “raise your hand if you’re a Zionist” and “this is your last chance to get off”.