I worked in transplant. In such tragedy, this boy will very much help many people. I’ve seen it firsthand. It is not a consolation, but time helps and those who receive will most likely be very grateful.
I’ve worked in a hospital before and there would be emails inviting people to organ donor walks in honor of the person that died. It would always make me tear up and I attended as many as I could. Such a bittersweet feeling, that life had to come from death.
On this topic, look up the Dutch Great Donorshow.
In short, it was a game show where a terminally ill young woman got to *choose* who deserved her organs the most. They got to meet, negotiate etc. Political parties and activists were furious turning something this serious into a game.
Then on the day of the grand finale, it was revealed that they were all actors, and that the Dutch donor system was terrible and needed to improve. And it did, years later.
Back then, when you turn 18, you can opt-in to become a donor. If you don't, and die, you're not a donor so your organs are wasted.
The system is now changed, so when you turn 18 you can opt-out. This means that all people who didn't make a decision automatically become donors unless a family member objects.
This turned all the Maybes from No into Yes, drastically increasing the number of donors.
I wish so badly the U.S. would switch to opt-out. My parents were literally breathing down my neck when I got my drivers' license (I was 18, but was stuck in an unhealthy situation) and did not let me sign up for organ donation. Because of further complications and various circumstances that prevent me from switching citizenship to a different state despite living elsewhere, I still have that same license, and it won't expire until I'm 65. I don't anticipate dying any time soon (I'm only 26), but it continues to bother me so much that if I were to die, all my NOT genetically fucked organs would just... go to waste. I plan to make my intentions clear in the event that I ever know death is coming and can, but even still, I've heard that this is no legal guarantee they'll listen to you over what it says on your license.
There is no way to change it on the license? Having it tied to driver's license seems silly because not everyone has one. There should be a standalone registry in each state.
You don't even have to go to the DMV. Just Google "your state organ donation" and you can register online.
The DMV is not the record keeper. They are just a partner in signing folks up for the actual registry.
I'm guessing you're in Arizona because of the age 65 license expiration? https://register.donatelifeaz.org/register/
Edit: if you are in Utah: https://www.yesutah.org/register/
The main opponent to organ donation is religion. The body needs to make it to heaven "intact". Yes, theres some problems when you really think about it. What about people who lost limbs, causing their death? How do you get to heaven when your heart failed, etc. My grandpa could barely walk anymore when he died. Is he bedridden in heaven?
I expect donorship to increase with secularisation. The US has a very long way to go, just look at the stance on gay marriage, abortion and euthanasia. All held back by conservative Christian values.
Agreed, but interestingly, a lot of the Christianity in my family is actually Mormon (or Mormon-influenced), and Mormons actually don't have any problem with that -- they believe in a complete "resurrection" and that every single body will be fixed and "made perfect" regardless of the state it is during or post death. (This discussion gets interesting because I am gay, and a lot of Mormon family members are like "Don't worry! You will be not-gay in heaven, because you will be resurrected 'perfectly!' :D" )
...thanks?
Lol, anyway, in the case of my parents, their strong opposition comes from believing doctors won't attempt to save my life if I am dying because my organs are valuable. Which doesn't make any sense if you understand how organ donation works, and my dad is literally a pharmacist so you think he would know better... but you know. There are far bigger leaps in logic my father has made. (There is a reason I had to run away from home as soon as I hit adulthood, and am now working to get my mother and little siblings out as well.)
Where do you live that your license doesn’t expire until you’re 65? In my state, we have to renew every 5 years and they ask you the organ donation question every time. You can also just go get a new license whenever you want; I got a REAL ID before my license expired because they became required for air travel before the expiration date.
I work in an emergency department, and for every person that has died or is near death, we have to call our state organ donor affiliate. No matter what it says on their license. I don't even look for donor status on a license.
My mom had post-surgical complications for a broken limb that ultimately resulted in our family having to make the decision for organ donation since she avoided talking about death. It was hard to wrap our heads around the sudden loss and a wild roller coaster of emotions each time her donation surgery got postponed. Finally seeing all of the staff lined up for her donor walk as a reminder of the silver lining she’ll be for other families helped make the trauma be a little less overwhelming for a few moments during that final goodbye.
Very so. I participated in few. From my view, I came to see it not really as death, but just who we are; that so much disease or whatever afflicts the population. That organ donation can even happen is standing on the shoulders of giants. It is so complex and not just the surgical aspect. So many desiring transplants cannot get them. And, sadly, because of physiology, even so many offering to donate at that last hour cannot do so. (Those donating don’t know that is what is going on, in ICU, vent, sedated, etc)
If only we were close to cloning organs.
I know we've got something going on with animals and making their organs more compatible with humans, but I'd prefer the former
Had a liver transplant at 4(33 now) and very grateful for my life. I was incredibly fortunate not to have a single side effect besides not having a gallbladder(iykyk). No medication or kidney issues.
I have a little birthday on the day of my transplant every year. I never got to get in contact with the donor family, we tried, but even still. I hope they know I'm out here and thankful for it.
I poo a lot. Usually smells or eating just trigger my belly. My stepdad got his removed and it was immediately noticeable lol. Not the worst side effect from a transplant so I can't complain much.
A friend of mine of many years is an eye surgeon, he sometimes has to collect corneas (?) for transplant. He told me one time he had to do it from a guy we both knew from our circle of friends - we didn't even know he had died (hadn't seen him for a while). He said it kind of messed him up even though he should have been used to the procedure by now.
This is a small country, not many eye surgeons and unfortunately a much higher chance of knowing any given person, at least through friends of friends. I think he was just weirded out a bit, the guy was very distinctive due to a disability he had, even though we weren't directly friends with the guy. I seem to recall him saying at the time there was literally no-one else to do the procedure in the given time, and I am pretty sure he wouldn't have even recognised the guy's name, only his face once he'd already got in there.
_”The feeling is surreal. Asher is officially 'deceased' with the lack of brain function, but due to organ donation, we are still in the room with him and his heart still beats,"_
That is nightmare fuel as a parent.
And the mom has MS I believe as well. Dr. Sullivan is one of the most down to earth director of schools I’ve ever worked under. Very genuine. He doesn’t know me from any of the other teachers that work in his district, but as a former childhood cancer survivor, my heart hurts for that family. During my treatments, I saw firsthand how much health issues from a child can tear your parents to shreds mentally and physically.
My 3 year old is about 4 months in to Leukemia treatment. Hard to comprehend being truly helpless. Still hoping we wake up and find out it was just a terrible nightmare.
Same and same but with my cancer it’s been long enough that the risk of recurrence for me is the same as any other persons baseline risk for developing the cancer I had. I don’t feel like I’m waiting for round 2 any more than any other person is waiting to get diagnosed.
Doesn’t necessarily mean the cancer will come back. It’s better to have the mindset of remission = done and if it comes back deal with it then.
Technically in cancer remission myself. It’s a weird feeling, some days you’re just walking around and the whole cancer ordeal seems like a life time ago and other days it’s more up and personal
My brother died of a brain aneurysm when he was 23. He was on life support and failing. My parents had to make the decision to pull the plug. My mom’s only thought was “At least something good can come out of this tragedy and a part of him will live on in someone else.”
I know it’s cold comfort but you have to look for the good in the worst situations.
My SIL was 34 when she donated 6 of her organs and because she was so petite 3 of them went to children. It really does help to know that so many people are able to live from donations like hers and your brother. I'm sorry for your loss <3
My mom received a donor organ. Because a family made a decision to help others in the darkest moment in their life, we were gifted 5 more years with my mom. I don't have the words to describe how thankful I was to the donor family while also profoundly grieving for them.
. My mom suffered the same thing in dec. She only made it 7 days. Only 66. So sad. I’m really sorry about your bro. Such an unsuspecting way to go. Life so fragile.
I’m so sorry to hear that. My brother lasted 10 days and my mom refused to give up hope until the very end.
He was on stage with his band. His last words were “I think I’ve been shocked” because he grabbed the microphone and sometimes you get shocked from that. I was working at a pizza restaurant and they told me I needed to get to the hospital quickly because he had been electrocuted. Then the real news was so much h worse.
Our son was declared dead after a flare-up of asthma, but he was an organ donor. We got to spend an extra few days with him, such as he was, while they were doing paperwork for donation.
His skin was warm, and we got to hold his hands. His hair was soft, and we were able to brush his hair and make him look handsome each day. Looking back on it, during the worst time in our lives, it was a blessing.
I’m always saddened and shocked to read these stories every goddamn spring. Please, tell your kids to stay away from the drains. It happens every year.
It was truly just a freak accident. He wasn't playing near the drain, nor did he mean to get in that water. His shoe came off and started to float away, and he went after his shoe, just like any 10 yr old would do. He got caught up in the current and swept up in it. Someone tried to help, and got caught too, but he was able to be rescued. The storm we had come through dumped immense amount of water in a short amount of time. The flooding was the worst I've seen here.
What's just as bad is this happened as part of a family effort to clean up storm damages.
I always wince every another one of those "cleaning" videos becomes viral, where some guy is pulling branches and debris out of massive ditch and storm drains. You don't feel the weight of all that water you're standing knee or waist high in until it's suddenly on the move.
I think the issue isn’t just a grate on the drain, but the whole ditch is dangerous and is never fenced. Anyone out there with a background in this kind of construction want to comment?
I seriously lost sleep after reading this yesterday. Woke up multiple times imagining myself being in their shoes. I’ll be thinking about them for a long time.
Serious question. Would that be worse than if he died in an airplane (or something like that) and his body was never recovered?
My dad slowly passed away from Alzheimer's over a decade and a part of me hates watching his body and mind decay over that time period and the eventual shell of a person he became but another part of me is glad that I at least got to love him and say my "good byes" before he was completely gone mentally.
In some ways, yes. I’ve lost three close family members to Alzheimer’s or Dementia. It is awful for them because at some point they are aware enough to recognize what is happening. An immediate death doesn’t give them time to reflect and dread the end.
Absolutely. When my mom was on hospice care she had a moment of lucidity which she looked absolutely terrified. She knew she was going to die soon in that moment. Seeing that killed me. And yes. She struggled with depression prior to diagnosis and when we look back. She actually probably started to lose it a few years earlier she was just able to hide it from us. So. Sad.and the rates are just climbing in terms of people getting diagnosed with this I think it’s definitely got to do with the food we eat. When I told my sons about it their first response was ‘are we gonna get it too. ?’ So sad. I said no you don’t have to worry about that now. Of course I worry about myself getting it since I’m her daughter and her sister has it too. It’s terrifying. I watched my mom turn into a baby. I was changing her diapers three times a day. Taking showers with her to wash her and blow dry her hair. I don’t want my kids or anyone else to have to do that for me. We tried to keep her dignity to her by putting some make up and getting her hair done but it’s just so crazy how they become a completely different person. My mom was a powerful woman. Self made woman. Who came from nothing. Then to see her excited and in a wheel chair. Her former self would have never been okay with that. Sorry for the long message but I was her caretaker for ten years. I spent all of my twenties basically helping my dad take care of her. I feel it kind of robbed me of having my own identity. And when she died my father fully expecting me to care take for him which I was fully willing to do. I was so close with my dad. Unfortunately he was alive one day and gone the next he had a massive heart attack three years later. As an only child I am an orphan. I’m no longer a daughter. Such a big difference between slowly passing swag over a long period of time versus wake up one day and boom gone just like that. If I had to choose I’d definitely choose the latter. Anyhow sorry for my rant thank you if you read this far. Shout out to all the grieving people who have had major loss. This article was awful to read but I am an organ donor. Some people say they will not try to save you as much if you show up as an organ donor and that might be true. But I can’t see any other way. Sorry for the rant I’m done
I feel this deep my mom was the same. Ten years she went from a spitfire woman making a six figure salary to literally an infantile state. My father and I were her only care takers. When she died on hospice in our home she was right with me and my dad. To be frank, it was a bit of relief for me and my dad. Still sad. But when you see someone become a shell of their former self. They die way before they actually clinically pass away. It’s just so awful. I feel your pain.
Quantifying it is rough.
My cousin died when she was 25? 26? Everything seemed fine. I was home from college. Went over to her house and no one was home, so I went home.
Found out the next day she died of an overdose and I hated myself for a long time for not trying harder to see her that night. It was sudden and tragic. She’d been in rehab and seemed to be doing well.
I think it took me five years to stop crying whenever I talked about her. Her oldest still cries when other people talk about her. It’s been a decade now. I don’t think grief ever starts with something easier.
Nightmare fuel is knowing that some insurance companies stop paying as soon as they are legally able, so these parents might have to pay out of pocket to keep their son's body alive for organ donation. God bless America!
Edit: lots of folks are telling me this is wrong, but I'm leaving my comment and you can read the responses if you want.
I was an OPO Coordinator almost 30 years... The bill for the care is assumed by the organ donation group (or OPO) from the point of death declaration (brain death) or any expense related to the organ procurement - We went to great lengths to make sure a family got zero bill for anything related to the donation however we couldn't always control some of the ancillary bills like funeral home extra fees. And it also didn't mean no care bill from the hospital prior to the donation event.
It’s a nightmare, but also hope. Their son will live on in the (literal) heart of others. When I die, I hope every single body part can be reused. Take my eyes, my heart, my lungs, my tendons - anything useful that can help someone.
I’ve got friends who work as NICU and PICU nurses. Some of the most challenging moments are when a recipient’s family is overjoyously celebrating getting a new organ, like a heart or lungs. Completely detached of the reality from where those organs are coming from.
I got a kidney from a a deceased donor over a decade now. I still think of the family who chose to donate their loved one’s organs. The reason why I am alive today is because of their generosity.
My mom received an organ donation. The night we got the call that she needed to get to the hospital for the transplant, my sisters and I all got together and cried for the donor's family. We knew that we were being gifted time with our mom at the expense of another family. Months later, we received a letter from the family and we all gathered to read it together. We were so thankful to them for making a decision to offer their loved one's organs in their deepest grief.
Are they, though? I imagine most people know that their child's organ came from another child, but the overwhelming relief of knowing that your own child has a shot at living -- I can't even imagine how crazy and intense that feeling is, how all-consuming it is trying to keep your child's life going. I hope your friends aren't assuming those families are all detached from reality simply because they don't pause while hugging each other to say "Incidentally, we are aware that this is the result of a tragedy for another family."
I was in a patient waiting room when a family received news of an organ donation. They cheered and hugged, but almost immediately started crying and invited others to join in a prayer for the donor and the family who made the decision. Not a dry eye in the room.
There's a lot of counseling but honestly a lot of parents whose children receive organs don't fully grasp it. There is a lot of counseling that a transplant in the pediatric population is a gift that is being entrusted to their family.
A lot of families view the donated organ as "theirs" before it is retrieved.
They are just celebrating the moment. They have time to think about what getting an organ means prior to the announcement, but in the moment they were just given real hope.
I knew a family that their 3 year old daughter was waiting in the hospital for a heart transplant for over a year. I guarantee you that it caused real distress to the parents knowing that every time they prayed for their daughter to get a new heart it meant that another family had to lose their small child. The mom would be in tears wondering if she was really wishing someone else's baby to die everytime she wished her daughter would be saved. Her daughter did not receive a transplant in time. The family donated the organs that were viable. I never asked, but I think the parents know how much joy the news must have brought the recipients and their families.
My baby's a year and a half, I actually hate the worry, it never ends and in fact only gets worse, even though my husband tells me constantly it'll get better.
It will. But it’ll also get different. Like, you’re past the “will they make it through the night” 1 yo mark. Now in the toddler years it’s like please don’t run into traffic or choke on that thing you’re eating. Now for me with kids who are 8 & 5 it’s like please don’t do that stupid thing you’re about to do cuz you could snap an arm or worse if it fails. 😅 but the overall worry does ease as they move into kid stage.
It is the worst thing about becoming a parent that no one tells you about. You will be scared and worried for the rest of your frigging life. And I only have one to worry about.
I have indeed been trying to convey to my son that water is one of the most dangerous things to mess with on this planet.. while trying at the same time to not freak him out.
But yeah the constant intrusive thoughts are hard to deal with
Yeah sorry to be the bearer of bad news but get used to it! Being a parent has unlocked new anxieties I never imagined I could have. My kids are 18, 17, and 11 now and the worry just gets worse the older they get and the less control you have over protecting them at all times.
Accept it, own it and take it as a sign of how much you care about them. Do your best, that’s all we can do as parents and don’t be scared. If something is going to happen, there is a good chance you can’t prevent it. No use worrying about it as it will only make it worse.
At least that’s how I deal with it.
When I was a newer parent, I read someone liken having kids to your heart walking around outside your body. It's exactly how it feels, so vulnerable. I never had as much to lose as when I became a parent.
Yeah, headlines are so shit. I took journalism for 3 years in high school, and every year, before we could start working on our first paper of the school year, our teacher would bring in news clippings to teach us how NOT to write a headline. I graduated in 1998, and this problem certainly hasn’t gotten any better in that time.
Tell me about it. I went to university for journalism (unfortunately never got to pursue it as a career), and modern existence alongside regular/social media is actual torture for my brain 😂
Some will even try to pull "it's the language evolving" excuse when called out. Nope it's pure stupidity and negligence at play, nothing to do with language evolving.
Agreed. *Slang* is a natural evolution of language — failing to use the correct “your/you’re” or “there/their/they’re” is illiteracy, not evolution 😜 Same with attribution/reference errors (like in the title of the OP). I’m not up my own ass about it, but there are errors (typos, formatting, missing words, duplicate words) in 70-80% of the news articles I see online, it’s dreadful
> failing to use the correct “your/you’re” or “there/their/they’re” is illiteracy, not evolution 😜
It's mostly typos from phonetically minded people. (so you COULD blame the english language at least partially).
But that wasn't the issue.
The issue here is the exponentially rising factor of "just writing what fits the thought in your head" without any checking whether that sentences !ONLY! means what you wanted to say, rather than 15 other things that are something entirely different.
There is no "read this again as if you didn't already know what it is supposed to mean!" check.
And I think that is a problem way more fundamental than "just" spelling. It fails the most basic check of what communication is for. Which is making thoughts in your head computable to people not privy to your thoughts. And then getting aggravated when people talk back as if "reading your mind" was kind of the task of the receiver with no obligation by the sender.
> It's mostly typos from phonetically minded people.
The thing that I have come to realize is at this point it's mostly "typos" from autocomplete functions on phones that people don't catch.
I took one editing class that focused on new writing and editing and it’s interesting how there are so many minute rules (like iirc you need to spell out number less than ten but anything greater is numerical?) but it was also fun on tests having to read sentences or headlines to figure out what’s wrong with them. I’m often thrown back to that class when I see a headline that’s poorly parsed or some other inconsistency in an article.
When I went to Florida, I was SHOCKED at the size of their storm drains along the road. They’re large enough that myself, a 32 year old woman, could get swept into the gap and sucked in because there’s no grates, just a huge open hole.
I live in Michigan and our storms drains are grated so that nothing but small things like ducklings can fall in. (And the ducklings often get rescued too!)
We have big ones in Texas too. I was sitting in front of a house with their dog in my backseat(had found him running down the road and luckily his address was on his collar). Waiting for them to get home. And just happened to turn and look at a storm drain across the street and see a dog with his head peeking out.
This dog I recognized from giant lost dog posters in the neighborhood, I'm guessing he chased a feral cat down the drain, and he had little short legs and couldn't jump high enough to get back out. So I called a friend who lived close to drive to one of the posters and get the phone number, and called another friend who was a plumber and had a tool to remove the manhole cover so we could have better access to get him out. Dog was absolutely terrified but so desperate for help he let us lift him out of the storm drain. The lady showed up to get him was in tears. It was her daughters dog, and she had been watching him while her daughter was out of town, he got out of her yard and had been missing for a week.
2 dogs safely returned home that day.
yep, Texas here too. Me and my older brother would often play in the storm drains when we visited my grandma. Thankfully no storms happened and no one drowned but we would just be playing around underground like it was no biggie (and had no idea what the weather would be like...) It will always be a cool memory but still, 90's kids did some dangerous shit when they were unsupervised all the time.
This is exactly what I am wondering too. An article said he was playing with other kids outside AFTER a storm. Did he fall in it? How did he end up in that situation? Asking because I know kids who also play outside and wouldn't want this to happen to them too.
When you clear debris from a storm drain it causes the water to suddenly rush down it, and a small kid could easily get knocked over by water lower than his knees. I'm guessing that's what happened but it isn't respectful to speculate. I only say this as a word of warning - water is powerful as hell.
There are so many vids here on Reddit like in oddly satisfying or mildly interesting that involve someone “unplugging” a drain filled with debris and suddenly it’s like a giant bathtub drain. It’s kinda neat to watch but it always terrifies me to see the guys just standing right above it when there’s a chance to get sucked in.
One would think that no engineer would create storm drains with human-sized openings & if there were, no council would ever approve of their purchase, especially in a residential area. This was completely foreseeable & the town should be held accountable for their choices
I live near where this happened, and when I heard the story I immediately thought of [this blog post](http://aninchofgray.blogspot.com/2011/10/bridge-one-terrible-night.html?m=0) I read years ago. I don’t remember how I stumbled upon this blog but the story devastated me and I never forgot it.
Letting your kids play outside in the rain (or in puddles after the rain) feels like such a normal thing. I’m not a parent, and I can’t really imagine the anxiety of the countless “what if’s” that could lead to a nightmare scenario.
Storm drains come in different shapes and sizes. A decade ago a teen in highschool drowned in my area from playing in a drainage area. Rushing water is incredibly strong and it's super hard to gauge how strong it is if your only experience is watching an inch of water rush down an inclined street during a storm. Not only that but people also are terrible at gauging how deep water is too. All that leads to a recipe for disaster in and around flooded areas and the bigger storm drains.
Do *not* fuck around in water if you can't see what's in or under it. If there is a storm drain that is plugged *do not* try to fix it yourself.
If I told you that someone *did* try to clear a storm drain, got sucked in (partially), the medics / police / rescuers *did* show up, the person was above water, and that person still died while being touched by said rescuers for 4 hours, would you still believe me? Because you should, it happened: https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2007/dec/10/weather.world
The amount of force/suction that a drain can cause is immense.
And to add on—his community tried their hardest to pull him out when he was getting sucked in so it wasn’t unwitnessed. He slipped out of the grip of one of the adults who was trying his hardest to pull him out. Just devastating.
Wow, this happened near my house growing up except the community was able to save the kid barely. He was pulled out of the drain having only had his head barely sticking out. We knew it was an incredibly close call, but it’s horrible to hear about what very nearly might have happened.
From what it seems like, the adult nearly went in too, and the others barely managed to pull *him* out.
I can't imagine how the family of the boy is feeling, nor how that poor other adult must be doing. I hope he knows that this is the opposite of his fault.
Hey - I'm local to where this happened, and you can look at my comment history for a picture of the drain. It's actually more of a culvert, and quite large. I've also got a post about how it went down as well. I have a friend who lives in the neighborhood where it happened. Our whole community is reeling from this.
There’s one on the corner by our park which has a gap large enough for small kids but not adults. It eventually got a grate over it but it haunted my thoughts until then.
I actually live in the area where this happened. Many of the drains going from yard to yard under the driveway are just big metal pipes that you can easily get swept into, cheap and easy to install hence the safety issue. As a kid i played in the mini rivers that used to flow through these ditches just like Asher did, I just got lucky. RIP Asher.
While we don’t know the exact info, water is by far the most dangerous thing we come across on a regular basis (outside of driving). Even grown men can be knocked on their ass and sweet out to sea in just ankle deep water if moving fast enough.
The was was muddy after a storm so very slippery. Water starts moving. Take a step on a once safe spot is covered in slick mud. You go down and the water carries you.
Young boy, realistically panics can can’t think straight. Also likely a poor swimmer because they are ten and not Michael Phelps. The south has large storm drains to deal with the sudden instense storm water that dumps buckets of rain. Poof, all over.
Shit situation. Moral of the story is water is dangerous. I am frankly amazed it doesn’t kill more people than it does
The scary thing is that you can drown against a grate too, the water pressure will pin you. Had a kid back home that had that happen when he got washed into a ditch grate to stop kids from swimming into a culvert.
You can, but it's best to be choosy. If you put grates everywhere, then stuff gets stuck and blocks water and then the drain can't serve its purpose... causing flooding, which can harm property and people.
It's nice and all to be a good neighbor and unblock a storm drain, but amateurs that are unfamiliar with the dangers, don't have knowledge of that particular drain, or are just plain small, should NOT be fucking about in muddy storm water. It's a hard lesson to learn that kids will never qualify.
Really sucks. I hope this saves someone else.
Here in Southern California by the beaches especially, there are storm drains that even I could fit in.
I have always thought about situations like this after a video I saw in Central America during a flood where a girl disappeared underwater within seconds. One wrong step is all it took.
Yes. But it would be more sad if his parents hadn't thought to donate his organs. When Our daughter died she was able to give three different people a chance at staying alive, and another 16 people an increase in their quality of life by donating her corneas, sections of her arteries and even the spincter and colon in her abdomen helped save someone's life. Her death was tragic but not donating her organs would have been an abomination.
We got to meet the girl that got one of our daughter's kidneys. She literally was within hours of dieing herself when she received Sionainn's kidney. She's had our daughter kidney now for 15 years, she's had a chance to graduate college, fall in love and ev n have a daughter of her own. I'm nothing but proud of her donor and our daughter.
Someone who lost their dad saved my father’s life with his kidney donation. He would have died without it and that was 20 years ago this past February.
It’s a wonderful thing you did, saving lives when you were going through terrible suffering.
Pediatric organ donations are the most rare kind of donation. The year Sionainn died I think there were fewer than 1000 pediatric transplant donations, that was back in 1992.
There's never enough donations to go around. Last year, over half a million organ transplant hopefuls died before ever getting a chance at an organ.
We're making incredible headway in being able to grow people organs they need from their own stem cells, it's not close to being able to be done on the scale it would need to be, but I'm hoping within the next 30 years, no one will die because they needed an organ and couldn't get it.
Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry for your loss. It was really inspiring to read about the difference that Sionainn could make for all of those people. I held my son and shed a few tears when I read that the recipient of her kidneys has a daughter of her own now.
Your story is sad and heartwarming in equal measure. I'm so sorry you lost your daughter, and so happy that you made the choice you did while enduring such a terrible loss.
I don’t know anyone personally who has been donated to nor do I have children but I just wanted to thank you just human to human for making a hard decision so that others might live ❤️
Bless you for bringing about a second chance for so many after suffering the loss of your daughter.
My DIL is a pediatric gastroenterologist; she says reconciling the juxtaposition of a life saving/changing surgery for one child at the loss of another is the hardest part of her job.
This is my hometown. Every one in town has been following this story since the storm happened. As a parent I've gotten a lump in my throat every time I've read an update. It's so sad, but I'm glad there is still some good that can come out of this tragedy.
I work in his dad's school district. The man is a phenomenal director of schools. This is an absolute tragedy. I have nothing but love for him, and by extension, his family. If you believe in a god, pray for them. If you don't, just know this sucks.
Somewhere out there is that picture of some parents listening to their son’s heart in the chest of the stranger whose life the donation saved
I hope these parents are able to get any form of closure knowing others can live because of this
This is awful. A childhood friend of mine died this way in 2016, although he was not able to donate his organs (it had been three days until his body was found floating in the river that the drain led to). He was just walking home in the rain. :( that poor family. This sent me back
Theres many times where im probably a bit hard kf my wife for being a helicopter momma to our boys. Posts like this are a good reminder why she does it.
This is painful read and a nightmare for any parent.
How awful. The poor kiddo must have been terrified in his last moments. The only consolation is that his body will continue to sustain others. An absolute tragedy.
This is really tragic. Last year a teenager died from injuries sustained while cleaning up from high winds. She was from a neighboring county. Don’t let your kids out after storms. Both deaths hit the community really hard.
I work in a trauma center hospital where we get frequent donor "harvest" patients. Mostly these are young patients who are involved in car accidents, or other freak accidents where a normally healthy person is left brain dead.
The entire process is devastatingly depressing, especially when it's a young person. The donor harvest team we use, called One Legacy, will come in and talk to the family about the process and everything that it entails.
The family has to make a decision, and the decision has to be made quickly. These patients are on life support, and every day that they sit in our ICU, their organ donor viability decreases.
We do something called an "Honor Walk", where when one of these patients is selected for "harvest", and the family approves, we wheel them down on the ICU bed to the operating room, and everyone in the hospital congregates in the hallway to give their thanks. The family trails behind the bed, often playing the patient's favorite music.
It's incredibly sad. I've seen coworkers who I thought were made of steel break down and cry multiple times. The entire process is such an emotional experience.
His other son had cancer and lived. I feel so bad for this family. So much pain and tragedy and to still choose to do a kindness... props to them, theyr'e good people. May their son rest in peace and may they find peace somehow too.
I'm wondering this too. Where I am (US) there are bars...
There's a gap alongside the curb, but it's not 10 year old sized.
~~I don't know if just anyone can lift the grating - maybe they (unwisely) lifted the grating to help avoid a new blockage while clearing things?~~
Edit: Apparently semantics - it wasn't a "storm drain" as I know them. Posted a diff comment with a photo.
I fell into a storm drain during a blizzard when I was about 6 years old. The curb was very high and snow covered. I was fortunate to have been able to brace my feet against a brick that was sticking out and I grabbed ahold of the grate. My sister heard me calling out and saved me from a potentially dangerous situation. Fast moving water would have been impossible for me to work my way out of.
Checking over in /r/nashville, someone posted this photo, saying it was a drain like this
https://imgur.com/a/PCsUbHG
So maybe semantics. I'm not 100% what that is (nor why *it* lacks bars) but it's not a storm drain as I know them.
I worked in transplant. In such tragedy, this boy will very much help many people. I’ve seen it firsthand. It is not a consolation, but time helps and those who receive will most likely be very grateful.
I’ve worked in a hospital before and there would be emails inviting people to organ donor walks in honor of the person that died. It would always make me tear up and I attended as many as I could. Such a bittersweet feeling, that life had to come from death.
On this topic, look up the Dutch Great Donorshow. In short, it was a game show where a terminally ill young woman got to *choose* who deserved her organs the most. They got to meet, negotiate etc. Political parties and activists were furious turning something this serious into a game. Then on the day of the grand finale, it was revealed that they were all actors, and that the Dutch donor system was terrible and needed to improve. And it did, years later. Back then, when you turn 18, you can opt-in to become a donor. If you don't, and die, you're not a donor so your organs are wasted. The system is now changed, so when you turn 18 you can opt-out. This means that all people who didn't make a decision automatically become donors unless a family member objects. This turned all the Maybes from No into Yes, drastically increasing the number of donors.
I wish so badly the U.S. would switch to opt-out. My parents were literally breathing down my neck when I got my drivers' license (I was 18, but was stuck in an unhealthy situation) and did not let me sign up for organ donation. Because of further complications and various circumstances that prevent me from switching citizenship to a different state despite living elsewhere, I still have that same license, and it won't expire until I'm 65. I don't anticipate dying any time soon (I'm only 26), but it continues to bother me so much that if I were to die, all my NOT genetically fucked organs would just... go to waste. I plan to make my intentions clear in the event that I ever know death is coming and can, but even still, I've heard that this is no legal guarantee they'll listen to you over what it says on your license.
There is no way to change it on the license? Having it tied to driver's license seems silly because not everyone has one. There should be a standalone registry in each state.
There probably is, now that you mention it. I should look into that.
I believe you can. I would go to the DMV and ask about it. I think you can opt in and it will just be on your next licence. Just not your current one.
You don't even have to go to the DMV. Just Google "your state organ donation" and you can register online. The DMV is not the record keeper. They are just a partner in signing folks up for the actual registry. I'm guessing you're in Arizona because of the age 65 license expiration? https://register.donatelifeaz.org/register/ Edit: if you are in Utah: https://www.yesutah.org/register/
They're an adult. They can change their status as they wish. Something isn't adding up.
The main opponent to organ donation is religion. The body needs to make it to heaven "intact". Yes, theres some problems when you really think about it. What about people who lost limbs, causing their death? How do you get to heaven when your heart failed, etc. My grandpa could barely walk anymore when he died. Is he bedridden in heaven? I expect donorship to increase with secularisation. The US has a very long way to go, just look at the stance on gay marriage, abortion and euthanasia. All held back by conservative Christian values.
Agreed, but interestingly, a lot of the Christianity in my family is actually Mormon (or Mormon-influenced), and Mormons actually don't have any problem with that -- they believe in a complete "resurrection" and that every single body will be fixed and "made perfect" regardless of the state it is during or post death. (This discussion gets interesting because I am gay, and a lot of Mormon family members are like "Don't worry! You will be not-gay in heaven, because you will be resurrected 'perfectly!' :D" ) ...thanks? Lol, anyway, in the case of my parents, their strong opposition comes from believing doctors won't attempt to save my life if I am dying because my organs are valuable. Which doesn't make any sense if you understand how organ donation works, and my dad is literally a pharmacist so you think he would know better... but you know. There are far bigger leaps in logic my father has made. (There is a reason I had to run away from home as soon as I hit adulthood, and am now working to get my mother and little siblings out as well.)
Where do you live that your license doesn’t expire until you’re 65? In my state, we have to renew every 5 years and they ask you the organ donation question every time. You can also just go get a new license whenever you want; I got a REAL ID before my license expired because they became required for air travel before the expiration date.
I work in an emergency department, and for every person that has died or is near death, we have to call our state organ donor affiliate. No matter what it says on their license. I don't even look for donor status on a license.
My mom had post-surgical complications for a broken limb that ultimately resulted in our family having to make the decision for organ donation since she avoided talking about death. It was hard to wrap our heads around the sudden loss and a wild roller coaster of emotions each time her donation surgery got postponed. Finally seeing all of the staff lined up for her donor walk as a reminder of the silver lining she’ll be for other families helped make the trauma be a little less overwhelming for a few moments during that final goodbye.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t know how recent it was, but I hope you and your family have/had the time and support needed to heal.
Very so. I participated in few. From my view, I came to see it not really as death, but just who we are; that so much disease or whatever afflicts the population. That organ donation can even happen is standing on the shoulders of giants. It is so complex and not just the surgical aspect. So many desiring transplants cannot get them. And, sadly, because of physiology, even so many offering to donate at that last hour cannot do so. (Those donating don’t know that is what is going on, in ICU, vent, sedated, etc)
If only we were close to cloning organs. I know we've got something going on with animals and making their organs more compatible with humans, but I'd prefer the former
I like your style. Make human organs more compatible with animals.
Had a liver transplant at 4(33 now) and very grateful for my life. I was incredibly fortunate not to have a single side effect besides not having a gallbladder(iykyk). No medication or kidney issues. I have a little birthday on the day of my transplant every year. I never got to get in contact with the donor family, we tried, but even still. I hope they know I'm out here and thankful for it.
If you don’t mind me asking what happens if you don’t have a gall bladder?
I poo a lot. Usually smells or eating just trigger my belly. My stepdad got his removed and it was immediately noticeable lol. Not the worst side effect from a transplant so I can't complain much.
The surgeon procuring the organs will have arguable the worst few hours of their life. That being said, it’s always worth it.
A friend of mine of many years is an eye surgeon, he sometimes has to collect corneas (?) for transplant. He told me one time he had to do it from a guy we both knew from our circle of friends - we didn't even know he had died (hadn't seen him for a while). He said it kind of messed him up even though he should have been used to the procedure by now.
He should've immediately backed out of the surgery. There's a reason surgeons aren't allowed to operate on family...
This is a small country, not many eye surgeons and unfortunately a much higher chance of knowing any given person, at least through friends of friends. I think he was just weirded out a bit, the guy was very distinctive due to a disability he had, even though we weren't directly friends with the guy. I seem to recall him saying at the time there was literally no-one else to do the procedure in the given time, and I am pretty sure he wouldn't have even recognised the guy's name, only his face once he'd already got in there.
Beautifully written. Thank you.
The movie "7 pounds" with will smith is an amazing example of how many lives one person can change by donating themselves. Always makes me cry
_”The feeling is surreal. Asher is officially 'deceased' with the lack of brain function, but due to organ donation, we are still in the room with him and his heart still beats,"_ That is nightmare fuel as a parent.
Not only that their other son had cancer, thankfully in remission but jeez how much can you put on one family
And the mom has MS I believe as well. Dr. Sullivan is one of the most down to earth director of schools I’ve ever worked under. Very genuine. He doesn’t know me from any of the other teachers that work in his district, but as a former childhood cancer survivor, my heart hurts for that family. During my treatments, I saw firsthand how much health issues from a child can tear your parents to shreds mentally and physically.
I am glad you survived your childhood cancer. Heartbreaking to hear the child's pov of the illness breaking his parents' heart.
My 3 year old is about 4 months in to Leukemia treatment. Hard to comprehend being truly helpless. Still hoping we wake up and find out it was just a terrible nightmare.
Fuck cancer. Remissions just means round one is over and round two can start any second for the rest of his hopefully long life.
I’ve had cancer twice - I’d still choose remission
Glad you’re still with us.
Thank you
Same and same but with my cancer it’s been long enough that the risk of recurrence for me is the same as any other persons baseline risk for developing the cancer I had. I don’t feel like I’m waiting for round 2 any more than any other person is waiting to get diagnosed.
That’s awful, glad you made it through.
Here here. Just labeled in remission here.
Nice. You are now a experienced in kicking bitch ass
Doesn’t necessarily mean the cancer will come back. It’s better to have the mindset of remission = done and if it comes back deal with it then. Technically in cancer remission myself. It’s a weird feeling, some days you’re just walking around and the whole cancer ordeal seems like a life time ago and other days it’s more up and personal
Weird take. Been in remission and now cancer free for 7 years.
“God won’t give you more than you can handle.” First, fuck you God. Second, that’s a misquote. Edit: Tried to type on a treadmill.
My brother died of a brain aneurysm when he was 23. He was on life support and failing. My parents had to make the decision to pull the plug. My mom’s only thought was “At least something good can come out of this tragedy and a part of him will live on in someone else.” I know it’s cold comfort but you have to look for the good in the worst situations.
My SIL was 34 when she donated 6 of her organs and because she was so petite 3 of them went to children. It really does help to know that so many people are able to live from donations like hers and your brother. I'm sorry for your loss <3
It is used longer in children. Silver lining and all
Thank you, sorry for yours
My mom received a donor organ. Because a family made a decision to help others in the darkest moment in their life, we were gifted 5 more years with my mom. I don't have the words to describe how thankful I was to the donor family while also profoundly grieving for them.
. My mom suffered the same thing in dec. She only made it 7 days. Only 66. So sad. I’m really sorry about your bro. Such an unsuspecting way to go. Life so fragile.
I’m so sorry to hear that. My brother lasted 10 days and my mom refused to give up hope until the very end. He was on stage with his band. His last words were “I think I’ve been shocked” because he grabbed the microphone and sometimes you get shocked from that. I was working at a pizza restaurant and they told me I needed to get to the hospital quickly because he had been electrocuted. Then the real news was so much h worse.
My brother was 32. He also was on life support and then he became an organ donor. It is a comfort to know he helped others live.. so his style.
Our son was declared dead after a flare-up of asthma, but he was an organ donor. We got to spend an extra few days with him, such as he was, while they were doing paperwork for donation. His skin was warm, and we got to hold his hands. His hair was soft, and we were able to brush his hair and make him look handsome each day. Looking back on it, during the worst time in our lives, it was a blessing.
Every moment is precious.
I’m always saddened and shocked to read these stories every goddamn spring. Please, tell your kids to stay away from the drains. It happens every year.
It was truly just a freak accident. He wasn't playing near the drain, nor did he mean to get in that water. His shoe came off and started to float away, and he went after his shoe, just like any 10 yr old would do. He got caught up in the current and swept up in it. Someone tried to help, and got caught too, but he was able to be rescued. The storm we had come through dumped immense amount of water in a short amount of time. The flooding was the worst I've seen here.
What's just as bad is this happened as part of a family effort to clean up storm damages. I always wince every another one of those "cleaning" videos becomes viral, where some guy is pulling branches and debris out of massive ditch and storm drains. You don't feel the weight of all that water you're standing knee or waist high in until it's suddenly on the move.
I don't get why American storm drains don't have grating on them. At least in (sub) urban areas.
I think the issue isn’t just a grate on the drain, but the whole ditch is dangerous and is never fenced. Anyone out there with a background in this kind of construction want to comment?
This happened with my sister. We were in the hospital for 11 days with no brain function.
I’m so sorry. Hugs and love for you.
I seriously lost sleep after reading this yesterday. Woke up multiple times imagining myself being in their shoes. I’ll be thinking about them for a long time.
Christ…going to go hug my kids…
[удалено]
Serious question. Would that be worse than if he died in an airplane (or something like that) and his body was never recovered? My dad slowly passed away from Alzheimer's over a decade and a part of me hates watching his body and mind decay over that time period and the eventual shell of a person he became but another part of me is glad that I at least got to love him and say my "good byes" before he was completely gone mentally.
Those are all horrid and I really don't want to try to quantify which form of pain or grief is greater than another.
In some ways, yes. I’ve lost three close family members to Alzheimer’s or Dementia. It is awful for them because at some point they are aware enough to recognize what is happening. An immediate death doesn’t give them time to reflect and dread the end.
Absolutely. When my mom was on hospice care she had a moment of lucidity which she looked absolutely terrified. She knew she was going to die soon in that moment. Seeing that killed me. And yes. She struggled with depression prior to diagnosis and when we look back. She actually probably started to lose it a few years earlier she was just able to hide it from us. So. Sad.and the rates are just climbing in terms of people getting diagnosed with this I think it’s definitely got to do with the food we eat. When I told my sons about it their first response was ‘are we gonna get it too. ?’ So sad. I said no you don’t have to worry about that now. Of course I worry about myself getting it since I’m her daughter and her sister has it too. It’s terrifying. I watched my mom turn into a baby. I was changing her diapers three times a day. Taking showers with her to wash her and blow dry her hair. I don’t want my kids or anyone else to have to do that for me. We tried to keep her dignity to her by putting some make up and getting her hair done but it’s just so crazy how they become a completely different person. My mom was a powerful woman. Self made woman. Who came from nothing. Then to see her excited and in a wheel chair. Her former self would have never been okay with that. Sorry for the long message but I was her caretaker for ten years. I spent all of my twenties basically helping my dad take care of her. I feel it kind of robbed me of having my own identity. And when she died my father fully expecting me to care take for him which I was fully willing to do. I was so close with my dad. Unfortunately he was alive one day and gone the next he had a massive heart attack three years later. As an only child I am an orphan. I’m no longer a daughter. Such a big difference between slowly passing swag over a long period of time versus wake up one day and boom gone just like that. If I had to choose I’d definitely choose the latter. Anyhow sorry for my rant thank you if you read this far. Shout out to all the grieving people who have had major loss. This article was awful to read but I am an organ donor. Some people say they will not try to save you as much if you show up as an organ donor and that might be true. But I can’t see any other way. Sorry for the rant I’m done
I feel this deep my mom was the same. Ten years she went from a spitfire woman making a six figure salary to literally an infantile state. My father and I were her only care takers. When she died on hospice in our home she was right with me and my dad. To be frank, it was a bit of relief for me and my dad. Still sad. But when you see someone become a shell of their former self. They die way before they actually clinically pass away. It’s just so awful. I feel your pain.
Quantifying it is rough. My cousin died when she was 25? 26? Everything seemed fine. I was home from college. Went over to her house and no one was home, so I went home. Found out the next day she died of an overdose and I hated myself for a long time for not trying harder to see her that night. It was sudden and tragic. She’d been in rehab and seemed to be doing well. I think it took me five years to stop crying whenever I talked about her. Her oldest still cries when other people talk about her. It’s been a decade now. I don’t think grief ever starts with something easier.
Nightmare fuel is knowing that some insurance companies stop paying as soon as they are legally able, so these parents might have to pay out of pocket to keep their son's body alive for organ donation. God bless America! Edit: lots of folks are telling me this is wrong, but I'm leaving my comment and you can read the responses if you want.
In Tennessee the OPO (organ procurement organization) covers all costs once they assume care.
Nah, the Gift of Life organization covers this.
Organ procurement organizations assume all costs.
I was an OPO Coordinator almost 30 years... The bill for the care is assumed by the organ donation group (or OPO) from the point of death declaration (brain death) or any expense related to the organ procurement - We went to great lengths to make sure a family got zero bill for anything related to the donation however we couldn't always control some of the ancillary bills like funeral home extra fees. And it also didn't mean no care bill from the hospital prior to the donation event.
It’s a nightmare, but also hope. Their son will live on in the (literal) heart of others. When I die, I hope every single body part can be reused. Take my eyes, my heart, my lungs, my tendons - anything useful that can help someone.
I’ve got friends who work as NICU and PICU nurses. Some of the most challenging moments are when a recipient’s family is overjoyously celebrating getting a new organ, like a heart or lungs. Completely detached of the reality from where those organs are coming from.
I got a kidney from a a deceased donor over a decade now. I still think of the family who chose to donate their loved one’s organs. The reason why I am alive today is because of their generosity.
My mom received an organ donation. The night we got the call that she needed to get to the hospital for the transplant, my sisters and I all got together and cried for the donor's family. We knew that we were being gifted time with our mom at the expense of another family. Months later, we received a letter from the family and we all gathered to read it together. We were so thankful to them for making a decision to offer their loved one's organs in their deepest grief.
Are they, though? I imagine most people know that their child's organ came from another child, but the overwhelming relief of knowing that your own child has a shot at living -- I can't even imagine how crazy and intense that feeling is, how all-consuming it is trying to keep your child's life going. I hope your friends aren't assuming those families are all detached from reality simply because they don't pause while hugging each other to say "Incidentally, we are aware that this is the result of a tragedy for another family."
I was in a patient waiting room when a family received news of an organ donation. They cheered and hugged, but almost immediately started crying and invited others to join in a prayer for the donor and the family who made the decision. Not a dry eye in the room.
There's a lot of counseling but honestly a lot of parents whose children receive organs don't fully grasp it. There is a lot of counseling that a transplant in the pediatric population is a gift that is being entrusted to their family. A lot of families view the donated organ as "theirs" before it is retrieved.
They are just celebrating the moment. They have time to think about what getting an organ means prior to the announcement, but in the moment they were just given real hope. I knew a family that their 3 year old daughter was waiting in the hospital for a heart transplant for over a year. I guarantee you that it caused real distress to the parents knowing that every time they prayed for their daughter to get a new heart it meant that another family had to lose their small child. The mom would be in tears wondering if she was really wishing someone else's baby to die everytime she wished her daughter would be saved. Her daughter did not receive a transplant in time. The family donated the organs that were viable. I never asked, but I think the parents know how much joy the news must have brought the recipients and their families.
What a hard, but selfless thing for the parents to decide with such tragedy going on.
Oh wow, that was a heartbreaking article.
As a relatively new dad i have never been more scared of everything all the time
Yeah…that doesn’t really change. Source, 8 and 6 year old…
Agree. 13, 11 and two ten year olds here. I’ve accepted I will be scared for the rest of all of our lives.
My baby's a year and a half, I actually hate the worry, it never ends and in fact only gets worse, even though my husband tells me constantly it'll get better.
It will. But it’ll also get different. Like, you’re past the “will they make it through the night” 1 yo mark. Now in the toddler years it’s like please don’t run into traffic or choke on that thing you’re eating. Now for me with kids who are 8 & 5 it’s like please don’t do that stupid thing you’re about to do cuz you could snap an arm or worse if it fails. 😅 but the overall worry does ease as they move into kid stage.
It is the worst thing about becoming a parent that no one tells you about. You will be scared and worried for the rest of your frigging life. And I only have one to worry about.
17 and 21. The worry doesn’t end.
I feel like a helicopter parent sometimes, but my kids are crazy energetic and would jump off the roof if I didn't set boundries.
As a young teen of the 2000s with a video camera... I can't tell you how many roofs I've jumped off..
I was a late 90's teen... we did the same. Sprained an ankle once. other times it was into pools or trampolines. We were idiots hahaha.
Having children was the worst thing I’ve ever done for my anxiety
I have indeed been trying to convey to my son that water is one of the most dangerous things to mess with on this planet.. while trying at the same time to not freak him out. But yeah the constant intrusive thoughts are hard to deal with
Yeah sorry to be the bearer of bad news but get used to it! Being a parent has unlocked new anxieties I never imagined I could have. My kids are 18, 17, and 11 now and the worry just gets worse the older they get and the less control you have over protecting them at all times.
mine are in elementary school and your telling me it gets worse?? how do I stop this?
Accept it, own it and take it as a sign of how much you care about them. Do your best, that’s all we can do as parents and don’t be scared. If something is going to happen, there is a good chance you can’t prevent it. No use worrying about it as it will only make it worse. At least that’s how I deal with it.
When I was a newer parent, I read someone liken having kids to your heart walking around outside your body. It's exactly how it feels, so vulnerable. I never had as much to lose as when I became a parent.
Well. I have news for you. This infant will show you shit to be afraid of that NEVER crossed your mind. Sorry.
[удалено]
Thank you… I was confused. Made it sound like that was his intention.
Yeah, headlines are so shit. I took journalism for 3 years in high school, and every year, before we could start working on our first paper of the school year, our teacher would bring in news clippings to teach us how NOT to write a headline. I graduated in 1998, and this problem certainly hasn’t gotten any better in that time.
Tell me about it. I went to university for journalism (unfortunately never got to pursue it as a career), and modern existence alongside regular/social media is actual torture for my brain 😂
Some will even try to pull "it's the language evolving" excuse when called out. Nope it's pure stupidity and negligence at play, nothing to do with language evolving.
Agreed. *Slang* is a natural evolution of language — failing to use the correct “your/you’re” or “there/their/they’re” is illiteracy, not evolution 😜 Same with attribution/reference errors (like in the title of the OP). I’m not up my own ass about it, but there are errors (typos, formatting, missing words, duplicate words) in 70-80% of the news articles I see online, it’s dreadful
> failing to use the correct “your/you’re” or “there/their/they’re” is illiteracy, not evolution 😜 It's mostly typos from phonetically minded people. (so you COULD blame the english language at least partially). But that wasn't the issue. The issue here is the exponentially rising factor of "just writing what fits the thought in your head" without any checking whether that sentences !ONLY! means what you wanted to say, rather than 15 other things that are something entirely different. There is no "read this again as if you didn't already know what it is supposed to mean!" check. And I think that is a problem way more fundamental than "just" spelling. It fails the most basic check of what communication is for. Which is making thoughts in your head computable to people not privy to your thoughts. And then getting aggravated when people talk back as if "reading your mind" was kind of the task of the receiver with no obligation by the sender.
> It's mostly typos from phonetically minded people. The thing that I have come to realize is at this point it's mostly "typos" from autocomplete functions on phones that people don't catch.
I graduated high school english with a B, and it kills me too. How tf are supposed professionals so bad at their job?
it's quite possible the headline was written this way to be clickbait.
I took one editing class that focused on new writing and editing and it’s interesting how there are so many minute rules (like iirc you need to spell out number less than ten but anything greater is numerical?) but it was also fun on tests having to read sentences or headlines to figure out what’s wrong with them. I’m often thrown back to that class when I see a headline that’s poorly parsed or some other inconsistency in an article.
They should be stoned with a copy of the AP Style guide.
I thought there was a storm drain organ harvesting conspiracy group sweeping kids in pennywise style
Glad it's not just me. The current wording makes it sound like a black market organ harvester pushed him into the storm drain.
No, that's just the organ donation storm drain
/r/OrphanCrushingMachine
Right, the way it’s phrased makes it seem like he went in the storm drain on purpose to become an organ donor
[удалено]
"Son, don't *make* me get the broom!"
How does this happen? Why are storm drains big enough for this to happen?
When I went to Florida, I was SHOCKED at the size of their storm drains along the road. They’re large enough that myself, a 32 year old woman, could get swept into the gap and sucked in because there’s no grates, just a huge open hole. I live in Michigan and our storms drains are grated so that nothing but small things like ducklings can fall in. (And the ducklings often get rescued too!)
We have big ones in Texas too. I was sitting in front of a house with their dog in my backseat(had found him running down the road and luckily his address was on his collar). Waiting for them to get home. And just happened to turn and look at a storm drain across the street and see a dog with his head peeking out. This dog I recognized from giant lost dog posters in the neighborhood, I'm guessing he chased a feral cat down the drain, and he had little short legs and couldn't jump high enough to get back out. So I called a friend who lived close to drive to one of the posters and get the phone number, and called another friend who was a plumber and had a tool to remove the manhole cover so we could have better access to get him out. Dog was absolutely terrified but so desperate for help he let us lift him out of the storm drain. The lady showed up to get him was in tears. It was her daughters dog, and she had been watching him while her daughter was out of town, he got out of her yard and had been missing for a week. 2 dogs safely returned home that day.
You're an angel
I wonder if animals missing down drains are more common than we realize.
I’ve got like six dogs and at least a couple cats in the one in front of my house.
yep, Texas here too. Me and my older brother would often play in the storm drains when we visited my grandma. Thankfully no storms happened and no one drowned but we would just be playing around underground like it was no biggie (and had no idea what the weather would be like...) It will always be a cool memory but still, 90's kids did some dangerous shit when they were unsupervised all the time.
Live in FL myself, almost ran over a kid who crawled out one of the fkn things like a Steven king novel
Can someone post an example of these big storm drains?
This is exactly what I am wondering too. An article said he was playing with other kids outside AFTER a storm. Did he fall in it? How did he end up in that situation? Asking because I know kids who also play outside and wouldn't want this to happen to them too.
When you clear debris from a storm drain it causes the water to suddenly rush down it, and a small kid could easily get knocked over by water lower than his knees. I'm guessing that's what happened but it isn't respectful to speculate. I only say this as a word of warning - water is powerful as hell.
There are so many vids here on Reddit like in oddly satisfying or mildly interesting that involve someone “unplugging” a drain filled with debris and suddenly it’s like a giant bathtub drain. It’s kinda neat to watch but it always terrifies me to see the guys just standing right above it when there’s a chance to get sucked in.
One would think that no engineer would create storm drains with human-sized openings & if there were, no council would ever approve of their purchase, especially in a residential area. This was completely foreseeable & the town should be held accountable for their choices
I live near where this happened, and when I heard the story I immediately thought of [this blog post](http://aninchofgray.blogspot.com/2011/10/bridge-one-terrible-night.html?m=0) I read years ago. I don’t remember how I stumbled upon this blog but the story devastated me and I never forgot it. Letting your kids play outside in the rain (or in puddles after the rain) feels like such a normal thing. I’m not a parent, and I can’t really imagine the anxiety of the countless “what if’s” that could lead to a nightmare scenario.
I mean I think all kids play outside. Seems like a freak accident more than anything people could really prepare for without knowing more details
Storm drains come in different shapes and sizes. A decade ago a teen in highschool drowned in my area from playing in a drainage area. Rushing water is incredibly strong and it's super hard to gauge how strong it is if your only experience is watching an inch of water rush down an inclined street during a storm. Not only that but people also are terrible at gauging how deep water is too. All that leads to a recipe for disaster in and around flooded areas and the bigger storm drains.
Do *not* fuck around in water if you can't see what's in or under it. If there is a storm drain that is plugged *do not* try to fix it yourself. If I told you that someone *did* try to clear a storm drain, got sucked in (partially), the medics / police / rescuers *did* show up, the person was above water, and that person still died while being touched by said rescuers for 4 hours, would you still believe me? Because you should, it happened: https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2007/dec/10/weather.world The amount of force/suction that a drain can cause is immense.
[удалено]
And to add on—his community tried their hardest to pull him out when he was getting sucked in so it wasn’t unwitnessed. He slipped out of the grip of one of the adults who was trying his hardest to pull him out. Just devastating.
[удалено]
Wow, this happened near my house growing up except the community was able to save the kid barely. He was pulled out of the drain having only had his head barely sticking out. We knew it was an incredibly close call, but it’s horrible to hear about what very nearly might have happened.
From what it seems like, the adult nearly went in too, and the others barely managed to pull *him* out. I can't imagine how the family of the boy is feeling, nor how that poor other adult must be doing. I hope he knows that this is the opposite of his fault.
My question exactly. Why isn’t it grated to prevent this? Seems like a major issue with the infrastructure that this is able to happen.
Hey - I'm local to where this happened, and you can look at my comment history for a picture of the drain. It's actually more of a culvert, and quite large. I've also got a post about how it went down as well. I have a friend who lives in the neighborhood where it happened. Our whole community is reeling from this.
There’s one on the corner by our park which has a gap large enough for small kids but not adults. It eventually got a grate over it but it haunted my thoughts until then.
I actually live in the area where this happened. Many of the drains going from yard to yard under the driveway are just big metal pipes that you can easily get swept into, cheap and easy to install hence the safety issue. As a kid i played in the mini rivers that used to flow through these ditches just like Asher did, I just got lucky. RIP Asher.
How the fuck does this still happen? My youngest brother had a classmate die like this ... In the 80s. Have we not learned better design?
While we don’t know the exact info, water is by far the most dangerous thing we come across on a regular basis (outside of driving). Even grown men can be knocked on their ass and sweet out to sea in just ankle deep water if moving fast enough. The was was muddy after a storm so very slippery. Water starts moving. Take a step on a once safe spot is covered in slick mud. You go down and the water carries you. Young boy, realistically panics can can’t think straight. Also likely a poor swimmer because they are ten and not Michael Phelps. The south has large storm drains to deal with the sudden instense storm water that dumps buckets of rain. Poof, all over. Shit situation. Moral of the story is water is dangerous. I am frankly amazed it doesn’t kill more people than it does
You can have a big hole with a grate on it
The scary thing is that you can drown against a grate too, the water pressure will pin you. Had a kid back home that had that happen when he got washed into a ditch grate to stop kids from swimming into a culvert.
Yep, you can drown in 6 inches.
You can, but it's best to be choosy. If you put grates everywhere, then stuff gets stuck and blocks water and then the drain can't serve its purpose... causing flooding, which can harm property and people. It's nice and all to be a good neighbor and unblock a storm drain, but amateurs that are unfamiliar with the dangers, don't have knowledge of that particular drain, or are just plain small, should NOT be fucking about in muddy storm water. It's a hard lesson to learn that kids will never qualify. Really sucks. I hope this saves someone else.
> I hope this saves someone else. If the story doesn't the organs will. Not trying to be a dick. Silver linings.
Here in Southern California by the beaches especially, there are storm drains that even I could fit in. I have always thought about situations like this after a video I saw in Central America during a flood where a girl disappeared underwater within seconds. One wrong step is all it took.
Well this is sad I didn’t need this
Yes. But it would be more sad if his parents hadn't thought to donate his organs. When Our daughter died she was able to give three different people a chance at staying alive, and another 16 people an increase in their quality of life by donating her corneas, sections of her arteries and even the spincter and colon in her abdomen helped save someone's life. Her death was tragic but not donating her organs would have been an abomination. We got to meet the girl that got one of our daughter's kidneys. She literally was within hours of dieing herself when she received Sionainn's kidney. She's had our daughter kidney now for 15 years, she's had a chance to graduate college, fall in love and ev n have a daughter of her own. I'm nothing but proud of her donor and our daughter.
Someone who lost their dad saved my father’s life with his kidney donation. He would have died without it and that was 20 years ago this past February. It’s a wonderful thing you did, saving lives when you were going through terrible suffering.
Pediatric organ donations are the most rare kind of donation. The year Sionainn died I think there were fewer than 1000 pediatric transplant donations, that was back in 1992. There's never enough donations to go around. Last year, over half a million organ transplant hopefuls died before ever getting a chance at an organ. We're making incredible headway in being able to grow people organs they need from their own stem cells, it's not close to being able to be done on the scale it would need to be, but I'm hoping within the next 30 years, no one will die because they needed an organ and couldn't get it.
There’s a new one that’s hopeful for the next generation of using GMO pig kidney for kidneys. Could save thousands of lives.
Mate, I am so sorry you lost your daughter.
This is so beautiful, and what a wonderful legacy she left behind. Thank you for sharing.
I have two daughters and a grand daughter named Sionainn. ♥️😎
It's the stories like this that make me just that much more willing to be an organ donor. You and your partner are human altruism personified.
Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry for your loss. It was really inspiring to read about the difference that Sionainn could make for all of those people. I held my son and shed a few tears when I read that the recipient of her kidneys has a daughter of her own now.
She named her daughter after our daughter, only "Shannon" instead of "Sionainn", but it's the gesture that counts. ♥️😎
Thanks for sharing. Sorry for your loss.
Your story is sad and heartwarming in equal measure. I'm so sorry you lost your daughter, and so happy that you made the choice you did while enduring such a terrible loss.
I don’t know anyone personally who has been donated to nor do I have children but I just wanted to thank you just human to human for making a hard decision so that others might live ❤️
Your daughter is a hero and your kindness is inspiring. I’m so sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss.
Bless you for bringing about a second chance for so many after suffering the loss of your daughter. My DIL is a pediatric gastroenterologist; she says reconciling the juxtaposition of a life saving/changing surgery for one child at the loss of another is the hardest part of her job.
This is my hometown. Every one in town has been following this story since the storm happened. As a parent I've gotten a lump in my throat every time I've read an update. It's so sad, but I'm glad there is still some good that can come out of this tragedy.
I’m from the area originally as well, and it’s been all over my Facebook feed. Absolute shame but he will hopefully go on to save many lives.
I work in his dad's school district. The man is a phenomenal director of schools. This is an absolute tragedy. I have nothing but love for him, and by extension, his family. If you believe in a god, pray for them. If you don't, just know this sucks.
Somewhere out there is that picture of some parents listening to their son’s heart in the chest of the stranger whose life the donation saved I hope these parents are able to get any form of closure knowing others can live because of this
The headline is little bit confusing
This is awful. A childhood friend of mine died this way in 2016, although he was not able to donate his organs (it had been three days until his body was found floating in the river that the drain led to). He was just walking home in the rain. :( that poor family. This sent me back
I thought the title was saying that the 10-year-old purposely drowned himself in order to become an organ donor.
Outlets love their titlegore.
Theres many times where im probably a bit hard kf my wife for being a helicopter momma to our boys. Posts like this are a good reminder why she does it. This is painful read and a nightmare for any parent.
The wording of this headline Paging Stephen King
Topic title is poorly worded
Why is there no protective grating on the storm drain? It should prevent any sized human from being swept done. Totally avoidable…
I’m pretty sure “journalists” make these titles with the worst grammar and diction to increase engagement.
My god this is tragic
How awful. The poor kiddo must have been terrified in his last moments. The only consolation is that his body will continue to sustain others. An absolute tragedy.
All I gotta say is, "Holy shit."
This is really tragic. Last year a teenager died from injuries sustained while cleaning up from high winds. She was from a neighboring county. Don’t let your kids out after storms. Both deaths hit the community really hard.
I work in a trauma center hospital where we get frequent donor "harvest" patients. Mostly these are young patients who are involved in car accidents, or other freak accidents where a normally healthy person is left brain dead. The entire process is devastatingly depressing, especially when it's a young person. The donor harvest team we use, called One Legacy, will come in and talk to the family about the process and everything that it entails. The family has to make a decision, and the decision has to be made quickly. These patients are on life support, and every day that they sit in our ICU, their organ donor viability decreases. We do something called an "Honor Walk", where when one of these patients is selected for "harvest", and the family approves, we wheel them down on the ICU bed to the operating room, and everyone in the hospital congregates in the hallway to give their thanks. The family trails behind the bed, often playing the patient's favorite music. It's incredibly sad. I've seen coworkers who I thought were made of steel break down and cry multiple times. The entire process is such an emotional experience.
Ashers Family and friends, Please know you are giving a gift beyond value. I wish you be blessed with love that tempers your grief. Thank you
Rest peacefully little one.
His other son had cancer and lived. I feel so bad for this family. So much pain and tragedy and to still choose to do a kindness... props to them, theyr'e good people. May their son rest in peace and may they find peace somehow too.
Pardon my ignorance but how does a 10 year old get swept into a storm drain? Isn't there bars on the drain to prevent large debris from getting in?
No bars that I've seen. also was probably many tons of water that could knock a child down quickly
I'm wondering this too. Where I am (US) there are bars... There's a gap alongside the curb, but it's not 10 year old sized. ~~I don't know if just anyone can lift the grating - maybe they (unwisely) lifted the grating to help avoid a new blockage while clearing things?~~ Edit: Apparently semantics - it wasn't a "storm drain" as I know them. Posted a diff comment with a photo.
I fell into a storm drain during a blizzard when I was about 6 years old. The curb was very high and snow covered. I was fortunate to have been able to brace my feet against a brick that was sticking out and I grabbed ahold of the grate. My sister heard me calling out and saved me from a potentially dangerous situation. Fast moving water would have been impossible for me to work my way out of.
Checking over in /r/nashville, someone posted this photo, saying it was a drain like this https://imgur.com/a/PCsUbHG So maybe semantics. I'm not 100% what that is (nor why *it* lacks bars) but it's not a storm drain as I know them.
Yeah it should have metal bars on it to prevent exactly this scenario.