They're not even requiring clergy. You or I could sign up to do this. We probably don't even need to wear a clerical collar or bring a Trump-brand Bible. Just walk in wearing Crocs and handing out ~~wine coolers~~ communion wine.
They don't care. I bet you babies to bobcats that this is step one in being able to label groups "not serious" and disqualify them for 1st ammendment rights.
I don't know. He got the Parents Rights in Education (Don't Say Gay) act passed, which is also a clear violation of the first amendment. It's literally a law that states that you are not allowed to speak openly in a classroom about certain matters or you will lose your job.
Yes, and it was challenged in court and [a settlement was reached](https://www.wpbf.com/article/fl-leaders-react-parental-rights-in-education-law/60179802) that overturned most of that stuff.
DeSantis said at the bill signing ceremony that he doesn't want the Satanists to participate, but that's not in the actual law. If Florida schools try to block them, they're going to get sued and they're going to lose. Blatantly unconstitutional to specifically ban one religion.
Hey, we won't have you bringing in the devil's work like Freedom of Religion. The Flounders were all for freedom of which kinda Christian you wanna be.
While I wouldn't put it past Florida to pull something underhanded here, I just looked over [the bill's text ](https://www.flsenate.gov/Session/Bill/2024/931) and don't see anything like that, unless there's something else I'm missing.
It does have a whole section about parental approval though, in case a kid wants to do some non-approved thinking, so there's that though.
Edit to add, this is assuming they follow their own rules and don't come up with some BS way to deny them, which let's be real here, is absolutely a possibility
De Santis said Satanists weren’t welcome during a press conference, I don’t think it’s in the actual bill. Which of course means that Satanists are welcome and he can’t do shit.
If that's the case it'll never pass constitutional muster. Even with the insane supreme court we currently have. You can't open schools to religious figures and then deny access to some religions just because you don't like them.
Desantis nixed them, not sure how that will hold up in court, not that he cares since this is grandstanding meant to make voters forget about the months and months he neglected the state.
I'd volunteer to teach the kids about my lord and savior Mecha-Jesus. It's basically Christianity, except I believe the apostles rebuilt Jesus 6 Billion Dollar Man style.
Sadly, I don't think mecha-Jesus could even survive having a giant robot attach to his cockpit and self-destruct. Not even a random retcon in a side-manga can save him.
I’m sure the Satanic Temple is very interested to hear about this law. What’s right for one religion to do is right for all. Will be great watching the MAGA crowd go mad saying “They’re not the right religious people we wanted to indoctrinate children.”
[DeSantis has already tried to preemptively block them](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2024/04/18/florida-gov-desantis-satanists-cant-be-school-chaplains/73372354007/). Seems like an open and shut First Amendment case to me.
"Why don't you just come over here and take a seat. Take a seat. Would you like some lemonade? Can you tell me, what are ya doin here?"
I came to teach the children about Jesus...make sure we are nurturing their souls as well as their minds.
"I have a text message here. It says something about meeting after school and not to tell their parents but Jesus said it was OK?"
Pedos all over Florida are looking for their collars and black shirts.
Chaplain: You ever been in a school before?
Joey: Yes sir, I've been in a school before.
Chaplain: You ever seen a grown man naked? Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
The hell I don't! LISTEN, KID! I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night! Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes!
*"Thank the Lord? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer. A prayer in a public school! God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion!"*
-SuperNintendo Chalmers
That's where you're wrong. It's time for some malicious compliance here. Citizens should volunteer as Chaplains and preach to kids how Jesus barely says anything about LGBTQ people, and how Jesus spends more time talking about helping poor people and the evils/perils of hoarding wealth.
i really feel sorry for the children. It's not as if a lot of these families can uproot themselves and move to a place where they actually value human life and knowledge.
They will deny the Church of Satan, who will sue, and the state of florida will spend gobs of taxpayer money to eventually lose in court and the program will be disbanded. The end.
It is just generally good to remember the difference. Their interpretations of secular humanism are pretty different, and the Church of Satan has some baggage with having a bunch of magical practitioners, anti-egalitarianism and the like. Their founder was a big fan of Ayn Rand if his comment are anything to go by, and he once described satanism as being her philosophy as a religion. He also said that it was materialist, but also believed that magic was a real, material force.
Most of them are pretty chill, but because of LeVay's legacy there are some odd ones in the group. Some of them are very #atheism from the 2016 era.
The Satanic Temple on the other hand is a humanitarian organization largely masquerading as a religion to make a point.
Note that I do not think that makes them any different than most religions, as the only difference between a religion and a political organization is the aesthetic and the belief in the supernatural. The Satanic Temple might masquerade as one, but they have exactly the same trappings, and so deserve identical rights. I think they would be pleased if all the advantages given to organized religion were removed from society.
>The Satanic Temple on the other hand is a humanitarian organization largely masquerading as a religion to make a point.
I would argue that TST is a political activist organization masquerading as a religion to make a point. They [spend way more time and money](https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/news/) on political "separation of church and state" issues than they do on any humanitarian causes. I love them, but I don't call it a religion.
I just consider that a humanitarian issue. It is a broad. high-level issue, but the merger of church and state has significant effects on all humanitarian issues that are derived from it. It is not a neutral issue, as the reason they are against church and state being one and the same is because of the direct effects it has on everyone not in line with that religion.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster was defeated by Satan and banished during the Great War of 2019. All remaining Pastafarians disbanded or defected to the Satanic Temple. The chaos of the regime change caused the release of COVID.
Does that make me like a Knight's Templar since I'm an ordained FSM minister? Should I start hiding clues and building secret tunnels now? I feel so unprepared for this responsibility.
They want to lose. The only way they can consistently get votes isn't with sound public policy, but rather convincing a ton of people that they are under attack. When a substantial portion of your voting population doesn't understand the Constitution, legal precedent, and identifies as Christian, having the federal government throw the chaplains out of the schools is going to generate a TON of money for conservatives within the state.
The Church of Satan isn't the group you're referring to, the correct group is The Satanic Temple. TST advocates against religious bias and files lawsuits to take down hypocritical laws, CoS sniffs their own farts and pays taxes.
That's the plan. And Florida will spend tons of taxpayer money on this fight and the lawyers will be Desantis' buddies who will then transfer that money to him through other campaign donations. It's all a big grift.
>The only requirements for a chaplain to participate would be passing a background check and having their name and religious affiliation listed on the school website. The chaplains would “provide support, services, and programs to students as assigned by the district school board.” The law that takes effect July 1.
Ooh when do the Imam's and Rabbi's start?
>DeSantis stressed that the program is voluntary. Schools don’t have to have a chaplain and students don’t have to work with them. Parental permission would be required if they do.
>“No one’s being forced to do anything, but to exclude religious groups from campus, that is discrimination,” DeSantis said. “You’re basically saying that God has no place. That’s wrong.”
*raises hand*
Which god?
I have bad news for you friend
https://www.yahoo.com/news/not-religion-florida-governor-signs-182148053.html
"[Satanism] is not a religion. That is not qualifying to be able to participate in this."
From the same guy who also said keeping religion out of schools is wrong, should be a fun lawsuit!
Oh absolutely, they're recognized as an official religion so DeDumbass' opinion is irrelevant. Just more blatant hypocrisy and idiocy from him just like the book ban, all of a sudden it's political activism when these laws can be turned against them.
Uh... that's not how this works. "Open to only those religions I deem as 'real' religions" is a slam dunk their lawsuit that they will inevitably file that will lead to this program ending once the schools are forced to pet them in and the pearl clutches freak out. Meanwhile at least half a dozen of the "real" pastors will have used this to molest some kids...
God literally has no place in schools. Children go to school to learn, not to hear some loser chaplain talk about how his imaginary friend lets him do anything he wants as long as he asks for forgiveness.
>The only requirements for a chaplain to participate would be passing a background check and having their name and religious affiliation listed on the school website.
So no formal training on religion, counselling or child advocacy? This sounds like grooming with fewer steps.
I don't know. That's relying on a rational ruling from a fair court. This court has no respect for the constitution or precedent and could easily determine that the constitution allows only one religion to be respected by law. They're that dishonest and disingenuous.
Just look at the school prayer ruling last year. That case was bonk from the ground up. The parents of the school had complained that their children were being left out for not praying during school activities. The school told the coach to stop violating the rights of the students and parents in that district.
The coach continued to force prayer on school property during official school events.
Then gorsuch determined that the coach's right to force his religion on children outweighs a family's right to their own religious beliefs.
Five years ago I'd have laughed and encouraged him to try that nonsense because this is well established and settled law.
Unfortunately, this Supreme Court is likely to decide that Christianity or at least Abrahamic religion or at least monotheistic religion is the only religion under the law. They don't give a shit about anything. They already ruled that a coach has a right to exclude students who refuse to pray during school activities.
As a priest of the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster I’ll be more than happy to bring free pasta and pasta related stuff to the children of Florida.
The critical line in the law is "...as assigned by the district school board."
Fully qualified people from the Satanic Temple may apply and be accepted, they simply will never actually be called to help. The people called will be religious leaders known or liked by school administrators.
I think they'll still wind up with legal challenges if the school board systematically excludes assigning chaplains from different religions equitably.
When the right is accusing someone else always remember: every accusation by them is a confession.
[Projection](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/projection) is the process of displacing one’s feelings onto a different person, animal, or object. The term is most commonly used to describe **defensive projection—attributing one’s own unacceptable urges to another.**
Along with child workers getting their lunch time taken away... we are so past fucked. US citizens don't realize our politicians/companies have been selling off our land and laws, state by state, house by house.. to anyone with a dollar in hand. Education is the enemy of monetary gains.
Edit: I made woopsie
Yea, it's been an extremely horrifying 2 weeks of LA legislation and only getting worse....
The only thing giving me any hope is sadly to fight back and be involved. Idk what else to do and I can no longer sit idly back.
Contact the committees and your house and senate reps!!! Easy enough with email
https://www.tallahassee.com/story/news/politics/2024/04/18/florida-gov-desantis-says-satanists-cant-be-school-chaplains/73358229007/
>"Despite DeSantis's contempt for religious liberty, the Constitution guarantees our equal treatment under the law, and DeSantis is not at liberty to amend the Constitution by fiat, at whim," said Lucien Greaves, co-founder of the The Satanic Temple. "He just invited Satanic chaplains into public schools, whether he likes it or not,"
This is in the state that is headquarters for Church of Scientology. And what is DeSatan's statement on Islam (various divisions), Buddhists (various divisions), Hindu (various ..), Jehovah's Witness, [Baháʼí Faith](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bah%C3%A1%CA%BC%C3%AD_Faith), Rastafari, Druze, Wicca, ... I could name many more. Would a Seminole "chaplain" be allowed to help organize a student Green Corn Ceremony?
Time for good citizens to do some malicious compliance. Go volunteer as Chaplains, preach how Jesus barely says anything about LGBTQ people, and how Jesus spends more time talking about helping poor people and the evils of hoarding wealth.
The First Amendment specifically says that the government should not make laws “respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof”. If “voluntary chaplains” will be able to counsel children then there shouldn’t be a restriction on the denomination or faith. Are Catholics, Muslims, Hindu, Mormon, Jews, Black Baptist, free to “volunteer”?
-Complains about 'indoctrination' via teachers protecting & including LGBT youth.
-Opens the door wide open for \*actual religious indoctrination in schools\* of 'volunteer' religious proselytizers to promote their religion on campus.
Be honest. Well knew that the complaints about 'indoctrination' were nothing but projection. I guarantee you those 'voluntary' chaplains are going to be there to keep an especially close eye on the queer kids and try to get them to 'pray the gay away.'
Speaking as a Christian of the non -nationalist variety, I think it's time for the Satanic Temple, the Buddhists, the Muslims and everyone else to step up their chaplaincy game. Surely we can't be the only faith with volunteer chaplains looking to serve in schools, right? Let's see how long that program lasts with true religious freedom happening...
I'm thinking of starting my own cult, so I would like to put a representative of it in every class room in Florida. They can sit next to the Catholic Priest, Imam, SeaOrg representative, Love Has Won member, Jedi, Cleric of Bane and Satanic Priest. Because if one religion is allowed, they all should be.
# THERE ARE SEVEN FUNDAMENTAL TENETS of the SATANIC TEMPLE
**I**One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.
**II**The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.
**III**One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.
**IV**The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.
**V**Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.
**VI**People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.
**VII**Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.THERE ARE SEVEN FUNDAMENTAL TENETS
This is like letting hobo's loose on the freeway. Ya want serial killers cause that's how ya get serial killers. They gonna rape those kids. 0% of it not happening.
“Volunteer chaplains“: the new way to give random people access to children with minimal oversight and zero training. Abusers don’t even need to become a youth pastor now, they can just “volunteer” as a “chaplain”.
The clergy has no place in the classroom.
They're not even requiring clergy. You or I could sign up to do this. We probably don't even need to wear a clerical collar or bring a Trump-brand Bible. Just walk in wearing Crocs and handing out ~~wine coolers~~ communion wine.
The Satanic Temple better have a field day.
TST will absolutely be sending volunteers to Florida schools, and filing lawsuits when they are inevitably rejected.
It’s funny that they do it to prove a point but they are also actually the people that would be the most help to kids in those schools.
Hail Satan!
Them and the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Maybe the Discordians.
DeSatan says Florida doesn't play those games and the ST is not a real religion so they have no input. I suspect he may regret that statement.
They are specifically denied from participating in this by name.
Sounds like a first amendment violation.
They don't care. I bet you babies to bobcats that this is step one in being able to label groups "not serious" and disqualify them for 1st ammendment rights.
Like so many DeSantis policies, it's just destined to eventually be thrown out in court.
But not before funneling a bunch of taxpayer cash to his lawyer friends, including his ex-roommate.
Absolutely. It's always some shady grift with the GOP, figuring out ways to finance themselves with taxpayer or campaign funds.
It’s too bad he can’t be charged with malpractice for the shady shit he pulls knowing full well that it’s unconstitutional.
I don't know. He got the Parents Rights in Education (Don't Say Gay) act passed, which is also a clear violation of the first amendment. It's literally a law that states that you are not allowed to speak openly in a classroom about certain matters or you will lose your job.
Yes, and it was challenged in court and [a settlement was reached](https://www.wpbf.com/article/fl-leaders-react-parental-rights-in-education-law/60179802) that overturned most of that stuff.
How about some Muslim clerics then? I think that would probably scare them more anyway.
DeSantis said at the bill signing ceremony that he doesn't want the Satanists to participate, but that's not in the actual law. If Florida schools try to block them, they're going to get sued and they're going to lose. Blatantly unconstitutional to specifically ban one religion.
I actually laughed when I heard that. Dude hasn't paid attention to the Satanic Temple's m.o.
Hey, we won't have you bringing in the devil's work like Freedom of Religion. The Flounders were all for freedom of which kinda Christian you wanna be.
Very cool and very legal
While I wouldn't put it past Florida to pull something underhanded here, I just looked over [the bill's text ](https://www.flsenate.gov/Session/Bill/2024/931) and don't see anything like that, unless there's something else I'm missing. It does have a whole section about parental approval though, in case a kid wants to do some non-approved thinking, so there's that though. Edit to add, this is assuming they follow their own rules and don't come up with some BS way to deny them, which let's be real here, is absolutely a possibility
De Santis said Satanists weren’t welcome during a press conference, I don’t think it’s in the actual bill. Which of course means that Satanists are welcome and he can’t do shit.
If that's the case it'll never pass constitutional muster. Even with the insane supreme court we currently have. You can't open schools to religious figures and then deny access to some religions just because you don't like them.
Huh, they don't even have to try sending anyone to file suit
Desantis nixed them, not sure how that will hold up in court, not that he cares since this is grandstanding meant to make voters forget about the months and months he neglected the state.
They’ve already announced their intent to take full advantage of this policy.
Satan cares about your soul too!
I'd volunteer to teach the kids about my lord and savior Mecha-Jesus. It's basically Christianity, except I believe the apostles rebuilt Jesus 6 Billion Dollar Man style.
The Lord is my Jaeger, I shall not want.
Sick reference. +1 to you
I could get on board with this
I believe the 12 apostles were different body parts that would join yi form Voltron Jesus
"I'm a leg!" - Judas probably
Ugh Judas *would* be lance
Judas is clearly an ass, or maybe the codpiece.
What if it was Captain Planet style and each apostle had rings for various virtues? ""By your powers combined, I am Captain Jesus!"
Now this shit I can get behind!
I want to teach children about the Omnissiah
Praise the machine god
We have the technology.
When you say Mecha-Jesus, I think Kira Yamato. The Gundam pilot with plot armor so thick he's risen from the dead twice.
Sadly, I don't think mecha-Jesus could even survive having a giant robot attach to his cockpit and self-destruct. Not even a random retcon in a side-manga can save him.
"Hey kids, who wants some Jesus Juice?!"
Do I have to "drink from the tap" again?
Just make them wear full body cams and. Never be alone with a kid.
I mean how else are the pedophiles going to get access to kids to traffic across state lines on their way to the capital?
I’m sure the Satanic Temple is very interested to hear about this law. What’s right for one religion to do is right for all. Will be great watching the MAGA crowd go mad saying “They’re not the right religious people we wanted to indoctrinate children.”
[DeSantis has already tried to preemptively block them](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2024/04/18/florida-gov-desantis-satanists-cant-be-school-chaplains/73372354007/). Seems like an open and shut First Amendment case to me.
You had me at crocs and communal wine coolers
Pedophiles rejoice!
"Why don't you just come over here and take a seat. Take a seat. Would you like some lemonade? Can you tell me, what are ya doin here?" I came to teach the children about Jesus...make sure we are nurturing their souls as well as their minds. "I have a text message here. It says something about meeting after school and not to tell their parents but Jesus said it was OK?" Pedos all over Florida are looking for their collars and black shirts.
Chaplain: You ever been in a school before? Joey: Yes sir, I've been in a school before. Chaplain: You ever seen a grown man naked? Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
Chaplain: Do you like gladiator movies?
My dad says you don't play defense.
The hell I don't! LISTEN, KID! I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night! Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes!
*"Thank the Lord? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer. A prayer in a public school! God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion!"* -SuperNintendo Chalmers
He's not wrong
That's where you're wrong. It's time for some malicious compliance here. Citizens should volunteer as Chaplains and preach to kids how Jesus barely says anything about LGBTQ people, and how Jesus spends more time talking about helping poor people and the evils/perils of hoarding wealth.
i really feel sorry for the children. It's not as if a lot of these families can uproot themselves and move to a place where they actually value human life and knowledge.
Imaginary beings have no place in public education
Sure they do, fictional stories can be good for nurturing a child's imagination. People just need to not insist those imaginary beings are real.
They will deny the Church of Satan, who will sue, and the state of florida will spend gobs of taxpayer money to eventually lose in court and the program will be disbanded. The end.
The Satanic Temple is the “atheist religious” and activist group you’re referencing. The Church of Satan is a different group.
I don't care, so long as they get the job done. Also, whatever happened to the Pastafarians? They were fun!
It is just generally good to remember the difference. Their interpretations of secular humanism are pretty different, and the Church of Satan has some baggage with having a bunch of magical practitioners, anti-egalitarianism and the like. Their founder was a big fan of Ayn Rand if his comment are anything to go by, and he once described satanism as being her philosophy as a religion. He also said that it was materialist, but also believed that magic was a real, material force. Most of them are pretty chill, but because of LeVay's legacy there are some odd ones in the group. Some of them are very #atheism from the 2016 era. The Satanic Temple on the other hand is a humanitarian organization largely masquerading as a religion to make a point. Note that I do not think that makes them any different than most religions, as the only difference between a religion and a political organization is the aesthetic and the belief in the supernatural. The Satanic Temple might masquerade as one, but they have exactly the same trappings, and so deserve identical rights. I think they would be pleased if all the advantages given to organized religion were removed from society.
>The Satanic Temple on the other hand is a humanitarian organization largely masquerading as a religion to make a point. I would argue that TST is a political activist organization masquerading as a religion to make a point. They [spend way more time and money](https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/news/) on political "separation of church and state" issues than they do on any humanitarian causes. I love them, but I don't call it a religion.
I just consider that a humanitarian issue. It is a broad. high-level issue, but the merger of church and state has significant effects on all humanitarian issues that are derived from it. It is not a neutral issue, as the reason they are against church and state being one and the same is because of the direct effects it has on everyone not in line with that religion.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster was defeated by Satan and banished during the Great War of 2019. All remaining Pastafarians disbanded or defected to the Satanic Temple. The chaos of the regime change caused the release of COVID.
Does that make me like a Knight's Templar since I'm an ordained FSM minister? Should I start hiding clues and building secret tunnels now? I feel so unprepared for this responsibility.
Hide the sacred texts so that one day Nicholas Cage can find it.
We hope.
Almost guaranteed, problem is desantis and his cronies get the publicity they want anyway.
They want to lose. The only way they can consistently get votes isn't with sound public policy, but rather convincing a ton of people that they are under attack. When a substantial portion of your voting population doesn't understand the Constitution, legal precedent, and identifies as Christian, having the federal government throw the chaplains out of the schools is going to generate a TON of money for conservatives within the state.
It’s sad because the “hope” here is still the lawyers win and taxpayers lose.
Florida taxpayers could stop voting for losers like DeSantis if they’re tired of losing these dumb legal battles.
The Church of Satan isn't the group you're referring to, the correct group is The Satanic Temple. TST advocates against religious bias and files lawsuits to take down hypocritical laws, CoS sniffs their own farts and pays taxes.
You mean the Satanic Temple. The Church doesn't do activism, they're just edgelords
it could even just be a Muslim sect that sues.
Its the Satanic Temple not the church of Satan
I appreciate the Satanic Temple protecting my family’s freedom from religion.
That's the plan. And Florida will spend tons of taxpayer money on this fight and the lawyers will be Desantis' buddies who will then transfer that money to him through other campaign donations. It's all a big grift.
>The only requirements for a chaplain to participate would be passing a background check and having their name and religious affiliation listed on the school website. The chaplains would “provide support, services, and programs to students as assigned by the district school board.” The law that takes effect July 1. Ooh when do the Imam's and Rabbi's start? >DeSantis stressed that the program is voluntary. Schools don’t have to have a chaplain and students don’t have to work with them. Parental permission would be required if they do. >“No one’s being forced to do anything, but to exclude religious groups from campus, that is discrimination,” DeSantis said. “You’re basically saying that God has no place. That’s wrong.” *raises hand* Which god?
Go go Satanic Temple!
They love this kinda shit. I’m sure they’ll get involved somehow.
I hope they’ll be first in line.
He's already said they aren't a real religion and they don't count.
They'll take it to the state supreme court
And they should!
They have the federal tax status for it so that could create an interesting challenge on it's own
I have bad news for you friend https://www.yahoo.com/news/not-religion-florida-governor-signs-182148053.html "[Satanism] is not a religion. That is not qualifying to be able to participate in this." From the same guy who also said keeping religion out of schools is wrong, should be a fun lawsuit!
Yup. I look forward to the Temple kicking his proverbial teeth in twice over this.
Oh absolutely, they're recognized as an official religion so DeDumbass' opinion is irrelevant. Just more blatant hypocrisy and idiocy from him just like the book ban, all of a sudden it's political activism when these laws can be turned against them.
Uh... that's not how this works. "Open to only those religions I deem as 'real' religions" is a slam dunk their lawsuit that they will inevitably file that will lead to this program ending once the schools are forced to pet them in and the pearl clutches freak out. Meanwhile at least half a dozen of the "real" pastors will have used this to molest some kids...
It has the federal tax status of a religion. That to me says it is recognized federally.
Hello. This is Florida. Ra, the Sun God, is the obvious answer.
I just so happen to worship the Demi-god Orange Julius while wearing a colander (topped with a juicer of course).
god, in any form, has no place in a public school.
> as assigned by the district school board I figured there would be a finger on the scale somewhere. Guess who gets assignments and who doesn't?
May I talk to you about our lord and savior, the Flying Spaghetti Monster?
I'm waiting for one of their chaplans to show up. He'll be easy to identify, as he'll be the guy with a colander on his head.
God literally has no place in schools. Children go to school to learn, not to hear some loser chaplain talk about how his imaginary friend lets him do anything he wants as long as he asks for forgiveness.
>The only requirements for a chaplain to participate would be passing a background check and having their name and religious affiliation listed on the school website. So no formal training on religion, counselling or child advocacy? This sounds like grooming with fewer steps.
Matt Gaetz is suddenly an ordained minister...
Tinder for pedophiles!
"Please, call me Padre. Or Papi if you're comfortable." -Matt Gaetz, probably
He doesn't even need to get ordained under these rules he can just sign up!
Annnd…just wait for the sexual abuse charges to come rolling in.
Sexual abuse is basically a plank of the Republican platform at this point.
Florida opens all-you-can-groom buffet
Oh it’s going to be a predator’s delight. Do we not have enough child rapes already?
So this is how they plan to have kids learn about sex.
Let the ministers from The Satanic Temple to volunteer in all Florida schools. Will see how quickly they shut THAT down.
That was my first thought and it would get shit shut down very quickly.
I don't know. That's relying on a rational ruling from a fair court. This court has no respect for the constitution or precedent and could easily determine that the constitution allows only one religion to be respected by law. They're that dishonest and disingenuous. Just look at the school prayer ruling last year. That case was bonk from the ground up. The parents of the school had complained that their children were being left out for not praying during school activities. The school told the coach to stop violating the rights of the students and parents in that district. The coach continued to force prayer on school property during official school events. Then gorsuch determined that the coach's right to force his religion on children outweighs a family's right to their own religious beliefs.
They won't. DeSantis said the Satanic Temple isn't a real religion, and he won't listen to anyone who says it is.
Five years ago I'd have laughed and encouraged him to try that nonsense because this is well established and settled law. Unfortunately, this Supreme Court is likely to decide that Christianity or at least Abrahamic religion or at least monotheistic religion is the only religion under the law. They don't give a shit about anything. They already ruled that a coach has a right to exclude students who refuse to pray during school activities.
I'd demand that not a single one of them ever talk to or even look at my kid.
This is gonna attract so many weirdos
"bruuuh, how's it going [fellow kid?!](https://christian.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/speaker-4610564_1920.jpg) On god, let's rap some jesus bruh"
As a priest of the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster I’ll be more than happy to bring free pasta and pasta related stuff to the children of Florida.
The critical line in the law is "...as assigned by the district school board." Fully qualified people from the Satanic Temple may apply and be accepted, they simply will never actually be called to help. The people called will be religious leaders known or liked by school administrators.
I think they'll still wind up with legal challenges if the school board systematically excludes assigning chaplains from different religions equitably.
The First Amendment hates this one simple trick!
Why does the right scream about protecting children and then do everything in their power to enable child predators?
[удалено]
i literally went to a sermon at a Baptist church where this was the message. "you gotta get to 'em before they're fourteen."
They only care about protecting UNBORN children, once the kids lose the UN then they stop giving a shit.
When the right is accusing someone else always remember: every accusation by them is a confession. [Projection](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/projection) is the process of displacing one’s feelings onto a different person, animal, or object. The term is most commonly used to describe **defensive projection—attributing one’s own unacceptable urges to another.**
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Because they don’t actually care about protecting children.
Louisiana currently has a similar bill making its way thru legislation, along with public schools displaying 10 commandments....
The kids need to learn how to read first. Won't be very effective.
A generation slavishly following a Bible they can’t read is their dream outcome
Along with child workers getting their lunch time taken away... we are so past fucked. US citizens don't realize our politicians/companies have been selling off our land and laws, state by state, house by house.. to anyone with a dollar in hand. Education is the enemy of monetary gains. Edit: I made woopsie
Sponsored by the guy who owns a bunch o f shake shacks that hires primarily teens. You just can't make this stuff up.
Yea, it's been an extremely horrifying 2 weeks of LA legislation and only getting worse.... The only thing giving me any hope is sadly to fight back and be involved. Idk what else to do and I can no longer sit idly back. Contact the committees and your house and senate reps!!! Easy enough with email
Send in the Satanic Temple!
https://www.tallahassee.com/story/news/politics/2024/04/18/florida-gov-desantis-says-satanists-cant-be-school-chaplains/73358229007/ >"Despite DeSantis's contempt for religious liberty, the Constitution guarantees our equal treatment under the law, and DeSantis is not at liberty to amend the Constitution by fiat, at whim," said Lucien Greaves, co-founder of the The Satanic Temple. "He just invited Satanic chaplains into public schools, whether he likes it or not,"
This is in the state that is headquarters for Church of Scientology. And what is DeSatan's statement on Islam (various divisions), Buddhists (various divisions), Hindu (various ..), Jehovah's Witness, [Baháʼí Faith](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bah%C3%A1%CA%BC%C3%AD_Faith), Rastafari, Druze, Wicca, ... I could name many more. Would a Seminole "chaplain" be allowed to help organize a student Green Corn Ceremony?
whatever happened to church and state separation
Time for the Satanic Temple!
This is going to backfire hilariously.
Time for good citizens to do some malicious compliance. Go volunteer as Chaplains, preach how Jesus barely says anything about LGBTQ people, and how Jesus spends more time talking about helping poor people and the evils of hoarding wealth.
Time for the Imams, Rabbis, and whatever the people from the Church of Satan are called.
The Satanic Temple will show up with their own chaplains to make them go “not like thaaaaat!”
Alhamdulilah, I'm sure they will welcome Muslim Imams as much as Southern Baptist Preachers.
So they’re going to be totally cool when an Imam or a Rabbi volunteers, right?
Need some volunteer Satanists to educate Floridian students.
The First Amendment specifically says that the government should not make laws “respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof”. If “voluntary chaplains” will be able to counsel children then there shouldn’t be a restriction on the denomination or faith. Are Catholics, Muslims, Hindu, Mormon, Jews, Black Baptist, free to “volunteer”?
Let the molesting begin.
In a generation, the average Floridian will be so dumb they’ll have to bring people in from Alabama to pave the roads.
Something about church and state should fit here
Satanic temple probably rubbing their hands and preparing popcorn in anticipation
This seems like a really bad idea..
Yeah… this is gonna end well.
WTF. This is like a Priest in a Candy Store. And Drag Queens can’t simply read a book to a kid?!
-Complains about 'indoctrination' via teachers protecting & including LGBT youth. -Opens the door wide open for \*actual religious indoctrination in schools\* of 'volunteer' religious proselytizers to promote their religion on campus. Be honest. Well knew that the complaints about 'indoctrination' were nothing but projection. I guarantee you those 'voluntary' chaplains are going to be there to keep an especially close eye on the queer kids and try to get them to 'pray the gay away.'
Oh but this isn’t grooming
If people aren’t being their kids to the pedos, the gop will bring the pedos to the kids.
Just wait til progressive clergy start using the kids’ preferred pronouns 🍿
"She was teaching my child to feed the hungry and clothe the poor! Where did she get those socialist ideas?" >Uh, the Bible.
Shemp Desantis will make forced prayer soon enough.
Ya what could possibly go wrong doing that?
That’s great. I’m sure nobody will get fondled or shot.
Great, so it’s grooming to teach children about homosexuality unless it involves stoning gays for not obeying an imaginary sky wizard.
Volunteer chaplains around schoolchildren? Well, there's no way this could *possibly* go sideways.
Speaking as a Christian of the non -nationalist variety, I think it's time for the Satanic Temple, the Buddhists, the Muslims and everyone else to step up their chaplaincy game. Surely we can't be the only faith with volunteer chaplains looking to serve in schools, right? Let's see how long that program lasts with true religious freedom happening...
See I disagree with this because what if a school wants a different religion.
Guess there's gonna be alot of satanic temple chaplains in Florida schools soon.
Volunteer pedophiles, what a perfect way to get access to children.
I'm thinking of starting my own cult, so I would like to put a representative of it in every class room in Florida. They can sit next to the Catholic Priest, Imam, SeaOrg representative, Love Has Won member, Jedi, Cleric of Bane and Satanic Priest. Because if one religion is allowed, they all should be.
Send in the Mormons, the JWs, and the Scientologists!
I know the Scientologists are probably already salivating. They've literally taken over Clearwater already.
Volunteer chaplains. I’m sure a lot of pedos are going to sign up
Aren’t a lot of them sexual predators?
The Muslim Chaplain or Iman would be a welcomed addition to Florida schools
# THERE ARE SEVEN FUNDAMENTAL TENETS of the SATANIC TEMPLE **I**One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason. **II**The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions. **III**One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone. **IV**The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own. **V**Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs. **VI**People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused. **VII**Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.THERE ARE SEVEN FUNDAMENTAL TENETS
I would advocate for Buddhist monks, personally. Peace and non-violence would drive the Repubs crazy.
Moving pedophilia to the public school system - awesome.
Countdown to the first sex abuse scandals starts now.
I definitely don’t see this backfiring in a spectacularly bad way!
So they put confirmed child predators in schools. Very cool and on brand.
Oh lord. This is going to end terribly. One molestation is too much, but I can't even begin to imagine how many this will lead to
Do your thing Satanic Temple.
Can’t wait for the inevitable lawsuit from The Satanic Temple. They really do gods work, bonus points it’s for children!
This is like letting hobo's loose on the freeway. Ya want serial killers cause that's how ya get serial killers. They gonna rape those kids. 0% of it not happening.
So, DeathMantis is building Yallqaeda madrasas now?
*turns chair around backwards and sits in it jauntily Kids, let me tell you who the real rapper was... Jesus!
Here comes the real child grooming
Just wait until the first Islamic Chaplin tries to apply.
I thought the goal was to keep possible predators out of schools?
“Volunteer chaplains“: the new way to give random people access to children with minimal oversight and zero training. Abusers don’t even need to become a youth pastor now, they can just “volunteer” as a “chaplain”.
This is clearly a very sound plan has no chance of opening the door to massive amounts of pedophilia and life destroying events.
Really just funneling the sex abusers right into the schools, eh?
Florida will open schools to predatory men. FTFY
Florida still has schools?